Cannes Day 11

Juliette Lewis



Rose McGowan



Zhang Zilin



Scott Speedman and Rachael Blanchard


Sarah Marshall


Milla Jovovich


Kerry Washington



Kate Hudson


Dita von Teese
Antonio Cupo

Full Frontal Friday

Don't worry it isn't the sex change edition of FFF, but if you have never seen it before, you will be asking yourself why oh why Alexis cut it off. Not a bunch of big name stars, but there are a couple of big... Yea, so enjoy yourselves. Not so much where you lock your office door and attract unwanted attention, but enjoy. As always they are NSFW unless you do have a door that locks.

If you are not of legal age to view them, don't because it will poke your eye out kid. If you have an eye patch ready, you can click here.

Four For Friday - Memorial Day Edition

All of these happened on Memorial Day. No? OK, well how about they all happened to dead people. No? OK, well how about just some regular blind items then. As for Monday, it is a holiday in the US, and so the posting will be limited. However, there will be a long blind item to keep you busy should you be bored, or at work, or just not looking forward to putting on that happy face for the BBQ you have to attend at your in-laws. If you are driving somewhere this weekend, I just have two things to say. Be safe, and you must be rich, because I can't afford to drive anymore.

#1 & #2 - She (#1) is an actress. Aging, glamorous, and someone you think of with prestigious awards, but actually she really hasn't been nominated or won any big ones. She has made a living in great independent films. Foreign born. Probably C list in the entire scheme of things but with B name recognition. He (#2) is an actor. He is B list through and through. Younger than #1 and he tends to play nice and easy comfortable roles. No real stretching for him. Good looking. Really good looking actually. Both #1 and #2 are married. Both have a child(ren). Romances on sets are nothing new, even between married people. The interesting thing about this one is that #1 often cheats while on set while #2 apparently has never done so until now. #1 and #2 were having a glorious time. (I'm starting to sound like Will Ferrell in those Fenwick Arms skits) This is sounding tame until I tell you that #2's wife had the misfortune of dropping in on #1 and #2 while they were engaging in adult activities in #2's trailer. This situation was further complicated by #2's child(ren) running in at the same time and seeing dad, ummm. Yeah. Therapy anyone?

#3 - This married Golden Globe winning television actor from a network drama is older. Doesn't stop him from having guys nights out with his guy friends. Sad to say though those poker games he says he's having. Oh, he's having them, but with a group of strippers at a condo he owns. The only money changing hands in the game is what he pays for them to act out his fantasies.

#4 - This celebrity couple have several children. The problem is that one of the kids is not the biological son of the male in the relationship. Daddy thinks he's the daddy but he isn't. Mom slipped and told the real dad who now wants to see his child. This should get very messy, very soon.

Cannes Day 10

Catherine Keener , Michelle Williams and Samantha Morton
Philip Seymour Hoffman

Kerry Washington

Julia Ormond, Franka Potente, Benicio Del Toro, Catalina Sandino Moreno


Paolo Sorrentino


Quentin Tarantino



Anouk Marguerite

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

Just thought I would get you all warmed up for FFF by posting this photo of Paul Murray in his Bob The Builder outfit. Oh, and that big dude is Batista. Not in FFF, so don't start smiling from ear to ear.
Who doesn't love Bryan Cranston? OK, there is probably someone, but he is just so versatile.
Alanis Morissette - New York
Ahhh, the elusive movie kiss. Wow, don't they look real? It really looks like Justin Bartha and Catherine Zeta Jones would rather do anything in this world other than kiss each other. Although, the ass grab is a nice touch on both their parts.

Do you see Heather Locklear 20 years ago in this photo of Charlize Theron?
In a blast from the past here's Cheryl Tiegs.
Those before and after photos are killers as Christina Ricci is discovering.
Counting Crows - New York
So, every site that I have run across today is calling this a lesbian kiss. Remember Ali says they are just best friends. Actually, unless Samantha comes out of this with a hickey, I don't think it is that bad.

This one either.
I am now picking Laka to win Eurovision. They have to win. It's like watching Willy Wonka meets Alice In Wonderland on acid.
Jennifer. It's ok. You can buy a bigger size dress.
Shortly after this photo, a gust of wind came along and Jackie Chan's career went right over the railing.

I think Robert Evans is telling Ali MacGraw about the time he set his pool on fire and then brought out the elephants who were being ridden by strippers.

Prince Charles joke #1 -

"I say, this is rather more of a weed than a tree. Speaking of weeds, have I told you about the marvelous time I had in Jamaica?

Prince Charles joke #2 -

"Tastes a little like chicken."
It's not a really bad A&F ad, but rather some press for a film called Newcastle. Wow. This should make $5, maybe less.
I actually thought at first that this photo of Mark Wahlberg was taken at a wax museum exhibit.

Usher - London

I didn't even recognize Sienna Miller. This is on the set of G.I. Joe.
So is this one pant leg rolled up thing kind of like the one glove thing from Michael Jackson.
This is a press photo for a show in the UK called Strictly Come Conducting. It is a spin off of Strictly Come Dancing which is here in the US as Dancing With The Stars. Please with everything that is holy in this world, do not have a Conducting With The Stars show here in the US, because I would have no choice but to kill myself.
Ahhhh. It took awhile today, but here is our reader photo of the day.

Your Turn - With Bea Arthur

So, this week, it is all up to you. Ideally what I would like to see is just stuff that you have seen this week that other people might not have seen. Of course your plugs, your products, your services. Whatever. Here is some PR stuff that I have been saving.

This one is from a few weeks ago and is really funny and was done in honor of Bea Arthur's birthday. Her top ten television moments. #10 will burn in your memory forever. Forever.

The PR people keep working me over to show this video from David Guetta.



And also Sleepercar. If any of you really love Sleepercar aand want to do a review, could probably get you in. They do seem to have a bunch of dates all over the US and Canada. In Vancouver tonight actually.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which Tv star and former drug addict is back on the white stuff and taking more than ever, even though she insists she's going straight?

More Elitist Crap

I think my earlier rant against Kathy Hilton was fed in large measure by this report I read last night on TMZ. Yeah, I admit it I read their site. Yesterday at Bally's Gym there was a mistake in the booking of a room. It was double booked. Happens all the time. No problem. There was a group of people who were in the room beginning their aerobics class when they were all asked to leave so Britney Spears could use the room.

The staff at Bally's tried to placate the crowd by giving them free t-shirts and water bottles, some of which were thrown at the staff. The manager at Bally's apologized for the double booking, but didn't explain why the needs of 20 people in a class were less important than the needs of Britney Spears. What the hell makes her a better person. If you or I or any "everyday" (thanks Kathy Hilton) person were in the same situation, we would have been told to wait until the class was over or given another room.

What makes Britney any different or special than the rest of us? Because she's famous? Because she might stop coming to the gym? Who the f**k cares? What about the 20 people who have been having money sucked from their checking accounts each month for god knows how long in some onerous contract and want to get something out of their membership? Do you think maybe they fit the class into their schedule? Have lives? Well that doesn't matter because Britney wanted the room, and when someone who has more money or fame comes along, then everyone else just doesn't matter. At least according to Bally's Gym.

I Must Have Had A Blackout

Look, I know I drink way too much and have been known to pass out short of making it to the bed, but was I out of it for a month or something? When did Sean Combs and Tracey Edmonds start dating? According to WireImage they have never been photographed together by that agency which means she isn't in Cannes, yet she is running around telling anyone who will listen that they are a couple.

Last I saw, Diddy was diddling Kim Porter again and getting creepy with the girl and the umbrella in Cannes. He then made Naomi Campbell cry yesterday and watched Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson make out, but still no Tracey.

He may want to have a chat with her because this is a quote from an interview yesterday which does show she has a future as a Kneepads Magazine writer should she actually wish to work for a living. "Diddy is the funniest man I've ever met. I'm so lucky to find someone so soon after Eddie. It's early days - we've only been on three or four dates - but he's whisked me off my feet. I don't know about wedding bells but he's definitely the man for me."

WTF? Seriously? I feel like I walked into 24 about mid-way through the season. I understand and accept the fact there are too many people and too much gossip around the world for me to know everything, or everyone, but I really missed this one. If true, it looks like Tracey Edmonds continues stepping up the ladder nicely on her quest for gold. Yes, she has her own money, but I think she likes to spend the money of other people first. Can't wait until she and Kim Porter meet. Damn I wish I was going to be there.

Guess What? What? Kathy Hilton Thinks She And Her Family Are Better Than Us.

Kathy Hilton did an extensive interview with The Daily Mail and of course even though she was there to plug her new skincare line, she spent most of the time talking about Paris. At one point during the interview she was talking about Paris' jail sentence and had this to say, "It's true that life's been comfortable for Paris and jail was probably tougher on her than it would be on, let's say, an everyday person."

An everyday person? Who the f**k is an everyday person? Do you think that all people who weren't born with a silver spoon in our mouths are used to jail or something? Are we all just really criminals because we have no breeding. You can't be f**king serious. What kind of life did you lead where you think there are two different kinds of people? Do you really believe you are better than everyone else and then wonder why your kids turned out the way they did?

What kind of example were you setting or are you continuing to set for your kids? I can just see you judging each and every person with your holier than thou look. Yeah, well not too many of my friends have been down on their hands and knees in a nightclub looking for any coke that has spilled to the floor so they can hoover it up. Did you tell your kids about that experience? While you were out, was it ok to go ahead and f**k an everyday person in the coat check, and then go home and feel naughty that you did it with someone, who's parents, gasp, worked for a living? Maybe it should have been you spending 45 days in prison, but then I would have had to see and your happy ass talking to Barbara Walters in some five part jailhouse interview about how it nearly ruined your life.

F**k you Kathy Hilton and your elitist, I'm better than everyone else attitude. Get a f**king clue about what life is really like.

Your Baby Is Alive After Six Months. You Deserve An Award

Obviously the people over at Babytalk magazine have learned a few things about publicity. Following in the steps of the group that gave Dina Lohan an award for parenting, Babytalk has decided to bestow their highest award, the Golden Pacifier to Nicole Richie. The reason for the award is simple. Having managed to keep her baby alive for the first six months is reason enough when you want paps swarming the event and having blogs and tabloids publishing your name.

The fact that Nicole has admitted to not changing any diapers in the first six months is apparently a positive. The fact that she managed to get her boyfriend, nanny, and various helpers do all the work just is a sign of good parenting. I didn't actually see that part in the press release, but, I'm sure it must have been included in a draft somewhere.

The magazine was also in awe at how she manages to go out every other night and still has not forgotten the name of her daughter. Harlow. Yes, that's it. She remembers it because it rhymes with car towed which is what happened after the cops arrested her for driving on the wrong side of the freeway.

Congratulations Nicole on your outstanding achievements. I'm sure mothers everywhere around the world are applauding your parenting skills and wish they had the skills you do. No, they do. They wish they didn't have to work the two jobs because their ex walked out. When he pays child support it still isn't enough to even cover the cost of daycare, but mom doesn't complain because she is doing what is best for her children. The moms of the world admire how you are such a good mom that you don't even have to worry about finding the time to cook for your kids, clean for them, play with them, read to them, all while trying to find 5 hours of sleep and someone to fix that pinging sound in your 10 year old car.

So again, Congratulations Nicole. You must be very proud to be recognized as the mom of the year.

Do You Think Miley Has A Stripper Pole?

Well, she is at it again. I really am at a loss for words. A few weeks ago it was the naked body covered in a sheet for Vanity Fair. She apologizes, and then we get these. Do you think Billy Ray Cyrus is taking these almost naked photos of Miley Cyrus or, is just cheering her on in the background. The other potentially disturbing Disney news out of all this, is that the photos were allegedly taken for Nick Jonas. Yep. Mr. Purity, not going to touch anyone until I'm married. Well, maybe he isn't going to touch anyone, but if the allegations are true, he sure is going to look. Wonder if he sends her anything? It appears to me the photos were probably taken at the same time as her bra pictures from a few weeks ago. Different outfits I guess so Nick gets some variety. The question is then, who is releasing them? Billy Ray? Miley? Nick?

Ted C. Blind Item

Traceless Turncoat, our ol' backstabbing TV babe, who's made quite the career outta selling out her boob-tube amigos (for cash and prizes, mind you) has been—horrors!—behaving herself, as of late. Too boring for words. But, wouldn't ya know it: Word got back to T.T. that her network's higher-ups were perfectly aware she'd turned herself into a Jackie Collins version of Benedict Arnold, and that she'd better cool it. That, she did.

That is until her glitzy place of employment began hiring much younger, prettier, more shapely things who just happened to have far more impressive cleavages than does our babe, Trace. Yikes! What's an averagely endowed, amoral, conniving, man-munching, nominally talented bitch to do? Surgery? Amazingly engineered push-up bras? Suicide?

Nope. But duct tape certainly seemed to be a viable option. So to the hardware store went Ms. T's horrified stylist, who didn't know whether to laugh, cry or get some spackle, too (T2's not quite as flawless as she used to be). See, Ms. T had a plan, and this is indeed what that poor stylin' worker bee has to put up with every day Traceless is glammed up for her TV show: They both go into T.T.'s private dressing room, and before the latest ta-tas-showing outfit is practically painted onto the girl's increasingly diminishing figure, the dresser wraps an entirely nude Turncoat's midsection in industrial-strength tape, winding up just underneath Ms. T's breasts, thereby turning her natural-born babies into Pam Anderson-style bazookas.

Get it? Duct tape, babes. Directly onto—and then off of, 'course—the vain honey's skin. Every damn day. Oh, and Trace is hardly subtle about the pain during the taking off process. Swears like...well, me.

Today's Blind Items

#1 - Judging by the way this formerly married male singer with a reality television past was being mobbed by D list women you would think his current long term relationship was over. Judging by the amount of phone numbers he collected from said women, it very well could be.

#2 - This B+ film actor is thisclose to being A list. Not only starring in big popcorn flicks, but also big award winning films as well. Portrayed to the media as a strong heterosexual, on the set of his latest film, he fell in love... with a guy. They now live together.

Cannes Day 9

Sharon Stone
Samantha Morton


Sean Combs

Rose McGowan

Petra NemcovaNatalie Portman

Michelle Yeoh


Mary J. Blige

Milla Jovovich

Madonna

Joely Richardson



Juliette Lewis


Elsa Pataky


Dita von Teese

Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger


Dennis Hopper and Victoria Duffy



Christian Slater and Tamara Mellon



Star Jones, Alan Cumming and Denise Rich

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

It's been awhile since there has been a musician on top, and since there is only one music photo today, thought, hey, might as well.

Axel Whitehead - Sydney

Whore or smart marketing move?
It's been too long since I had Arden Myrin on here. When I say had, I don't mean had as in had, you know. I mean that would be wrong. Not wrong that two people are getting it on, but wrong to talk about it on here.
Of course if it was me and Angelina Jolie then wrong would suddenly seem right, and believe me the whole world would know all about it. I can honestly say that I have never seen someone look quite so stunning during any of my infrequent visits to Toys - R - Us.
Amanda Bynes almost didn't make the photos today. Normally she would be a shoo-in but it just seems like she is trying so hard to be a Hills lookalike these days and that is not who she is. The only reason she made the photos was because I wanted to ask if it looks like she got her boobs done.
The current record holder for longest name in Random Photos. Elletra Rossellini Wiedemann.
I really can't go wrong with all of you when I post a photo of Dave Annable.
I think that only Camryn Manheim has the kind of confidence needed to pull this outfit off.
Cameron Diaz in the True Hollywood Story - Dr. Evil Gets A Sex Change
It's time for the Broadway Softball League and that can mean only one thing. Yes, make sure you get your tickets now for Rochelle, Rochelle.
Bond girls and bad plastic surgery lead to expressions that don't change for years on end.

Juanes for no particular reason, except for the 100 e-mails I get each time I post his photo.
This photo is courtesy of irishstacy2. To get it, she parked her car five miles from the set. She then dodged guard dogs, ninjas, and an angry valet. Or, she could have just got it from a friend who visited the set of the film.
First time appearances for Gary Barlow and Howard Donald.
This is very important. You have to remember this. Fantasia Barrino thought she looked good wearing this.
Another first timer. Matt Willis.

Tom Cruise's shoes make it to the other side of the Atlantic. No doubt he is a big fan of Mika.
I bet Mick Hucknall wouldn't wear those shoes. Well in the 80's yes. But not now. You know you're humming Holding Back The Years. Say it. You know you are.
Rollergirl - Boogie Nights 2 starring Miley Cyrus.
The looks like sex photo of the day.

Eddie Murphy finally comes out.

And our reader photo of the day.
Remember when Hee Haw went off the air? Me either, but it looks like Randy Jackson was first in line when they sold off the wardrobe.
Pat Cash seems to be, how should I put this. Hmmmm. Enthusiastic. Yes, he's enthusiastic about Orchid Men In Pants Day.
One drink and she goes down.
Terri Seymour gets the Aubrey O'Day award for shortest possible dress to wear in public without showing your vay-jay-jay.

Teri Hatcher doesn't look horrible.
Just because I feel I have to.
Thomas Dekker did what it took to get his photo splashed everywhere today and all it cost him was an arm in a jacket.
You know what? Silda Spitzer looks pretty good. It's like she is a new person.

Hey Guess What? What? Prison Ain't The Four Seasons

Below this, are the first transcripts from some of Nick Hogan's phone calls from jail. Nick Hogan is finding out that jail isn't exactly like home. Wow Nick. I really didn't think you were that dumb, but apparently you are. Jail isn't supposed to be fun, and it isn't summer camp. But, the good news for you is that you just have 8 months of misery. John Graziano? 50 years maybe. Depending on how his body holds out. So, when you sit there in your cell each and every day thinking of stuff, think about John. Transcripts and reporting is courtesy of ABC News.

Nick Bollea: "Had I known this, I would have rather gone to trial or I would rather, you know, appeal the case or something. I can't deal with this for eight months. It's (Bollea's cell) like the size of my bathroom."

Linda Bollea: "Oh!"

Nick: "No windows or nothing. Just one little top bed thing."

Linda: "Oh my God!"

Bollea is being kept in a single cell at the Pinellas County Jail because he is one of only two minors serving time in the adult facility. On the phone, he cries often and is comforted by his mother Linda.

Nick: "All you do is sit there and think, and there's nothing to think about."

Linda: "We'll get through it."

Nick: "Yeah."

Linda: "Prove to everyone you've learned your lesson and be more careful."

To date, Bollea has spent an average of two hours on the phone per day.

On Wednesday Hulk congratulated him on his time served so far.

Terry Bollea: "I'm very proud of you brother. Very, very proud of you. You've been thrown in a tough spot and you've handled it better than I could have probably handled it. Any man I know. You've really been somebody to look up to."

Somebody to look up to? Well compared to Hulk Hogan, that might actually be true.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which gay married actor is actually conducting an open relationship and has made no secret of his penchant for very young men?

This Would Explain The Constantly Stoned Look

I've noticed over the past few weeks that Katharine McPhee has had a glazed look in her eyes that I first attributed to the fact that perhaps she was self-medicating because she realized that marriage is forever, and her new husband really didn't have a job. Now though, I think the look might be some type of perverse method acting. Seems that Katharine really, really, pretty please with sugar on it wants to star as Janis Joplin in a new film about her life.

Umm. Katharine. I like you. But, even as a friend I would have to say that Janis was Janis and you ain't Janis. Just because you have the same color hair, doesn't mean you can play Janis. Just because someone gave you a speaking part in an Anna Faris film means that you are an actress. Remember, I think they put Rumer Willis in that thing also. OK, names were what they were after. Not acting skills.

Janis lived a lot of life into her years, and you could see it in her eyes and expressions and hear it when she sang. You haven't done anything in your life that comes close. Yes, you sing, but Janis was much more than just singing, and you just can't pull it off.

I'm not sure quite honestly who could pull it off. I'm probably going to hate myself for saying this later, but if you could keep her coherent long enough I think Courtney Love would be a good choice. Zooey D. was a good choice also, but that film is on hold and so Zooey probably won't be attached when they get around to trying to revive that version. Katharine, come back after your third marriage, and fourth trip to rehab. Come back when you get off the princess ride and when you start riding a Harley and then you still wouldn't be good enough for Janis, but maybe they will throw you a bone and let you play Grace Slick.

Is It Really Ever Mutual?

Australian actress Kate Ritchie released a statement yesterday saying that she and her boyfriend of about a year Corbin Harris had broken up. In an interview she said "We remain great friends but at this time we have decided to go our separate ways." She went on to add that the breakup was mutual. I generally find that the person who first makes the announcement is the one that did the dumping. They want to get their story out there and then have the other person try and fight against what was originally put out. This isn't just a Hollywood or Sydneywood thing. It is a real life thing. If you break up with someone, you are probably going to be the first one to start calling all your mutual friends and spin whatever story you want. Later when they have recovered from having their heart crushed, and try to spin their version of events, it's already too late and you find that all your friends have run off to be with the other person, leaving you alone with your Spiderman comic books and that toy Australian Shepherd you bought together.

I guess all break ups are technically mutual. I haven't heard of too many instances outside of Seinfeld where one party just refuses to be broken up with. So in a sense all breakups are mutual. Until you have dated about a month, I think breakups can be mutual. At this time, no one is going to get crushed, and it is possible for you both to decide that you just are not right for each other. After that though, someone is probably going to get hurt. The only exception would be if you each have somebody on the side.

In this case it sounds like Kate is pretty much ok with the whole breaking up thing, and seems in good spirits which means Corbin is probably pretty hurt. Meanwhile, after a year, I'm sure Kate probably misses Corbin to some extent and so probably calls him still every day and although just being friends now, probably manages to stick the knife in a little deeper with each call. God help the poor guy if they have ex-sex. It always amazes me how people from both sexes can just go from OMG I love you, to talking about the weather and the new person they saw who they really want to go out with. Just because you think you are friends with the person you dumped, doesn't really mean the dumpee is also your friend.

It probably further hurts said dumpee when your ex decides to release a statement about the dumping so that way everyone in the country can know that your ex found you lacking. Good for the self esteem.

This One Hurts

Last night as I was reading the news I came across the tragedy that occurred to Steven Curtis Chapman's family yesterday. His five year old daughter was killed in the driveway of the Chapman home by her older brother. Her brother was backing out of the driveway in a truck, didn't see his sister and killed her.

I sometimes have made fun of The Dove Awards and even had a blind item from there, but the fact is some of the singers who are nominated each year are close friends. I have met Steven many times over the years, as well as his lovely wife Mary Beth. You would be extremely hard pressed to find a couple or family as loving as them. They have always been an advocate of adoption and in addition to their three biological children, the Chapmans had adopted three children from China as well. The daughter killed was one of those adopted.

My heart goes out to the Chapmans. In addition to the parents, I just hope that the brother is going to be ok. Unfortunately, this is not uncommon, and someone needs to make him realize it, and not let this horrible tragedy affect who he is as a person for the rest of his life.

If any family can pull themselves through this, it is the Chapmans.

You Think Lindsay Lohan Could Do This?

Bollywood actress Maria Monica Susairaj and her boyfriend were arrested in India yesterday. The reason they were arrested is because they allegedly decided to get all Sopranos on a guy who was having an affair with Maria. Maria apparently decided to prove her love to her Navy officer boyfriend by allegedly helping him murder the guy she was sleeping with. Wow, she must have seen FFF and realized she was being short changed.

The couple were not content with your random shoot and kill. No, they wanted to send a message. I don't know who they were sending the message to, but the dead guy had been burned, his head decapitated, and the rest of his body was sliced into pieces small enough for a stir fry. Three hundred pieces to be exact.

The body was found in a jungle about three days after he was reported missing. I don't know what kind of jungles they have in India, but I would have thought that the pieces of the body would have been a little harder to find, or eaten, or something. Don't they have tigers in India? Oh, maybe they heard about Oprah going vegan for the next three weeks and decided upon themselves that if vegan was good enough for Oprah, then for sure it was good enough for them.

I'm trying to think of an actress that I could see doing this. Honestly I would have to go with Denise Richards. I would have put her in the headline, but she has been in the news way too much lately. I think Lindsay could do it under the right circumstances. Oooh, Jada Pinkett Smith could do it.

Benji Madden Wants To Lead The Country

I needed a good laugh this morning, and thanks to Benji Madden, I got one. In a recent interview, Benji said that he would make a better President than George Bush. His basis for the claim is that he feels he would make better decisions than any of America's current leaders. Ummm. Benji. You're dating Paris Hilton. I think you lost all your credibility regarding decisions when you voluntarily started dating her.

Whatever your feelings about George Bush, I think it is pretty safe to say that even he would have second thoughts about dating Paris Hilton. Not that Paris Hilton even knows who George Bush even is. I think she would probably confuse him with either the baked beans guy. (Roll that beautiful bean footage) or the guy who is married to Gwen Stefani. "He's hot."

Benji insists that he knows of what he speaks. "I have the best overall vision for economics, healthcare, and job security." How does he know this? Has he been discussing his views with Paris? That must be really entertaining. Does he have to wipe the drool out of the corners of her mouth when she falls asleep listening to him or does he think she thinks he's the best because she's trained that wonky eye of hers to pay attention while the rest of her mind drifts off to better ways to be the queen of skank?

This Is What Gossip Has Come To

I can't believe that I am actually about to sit and write something about this and that US Weekly actually printed it in their magazine and that at least 10 other gossip sites have reported the same thing. Some barista. Ok, stop for a second. Why do the cashiers at Starbucks get to call themselves baristas and the cashiers at McDonalds are just cashiers? Is this elitist? Racist? They make the same amount of money, so why is the person at Starbucks made to feel superior with their title? Does someone who works as a cashier at McDonalds dream of that next big promotion in the world to barista?

Anyway, the dude who gets the Olsen twins coffee each day has confessed to substituting their preferred skim milk, for gasp, whole milk. Yes, it seems that he thought they were too skinny and thus needed the benefits of the fattening whole milk.

Hey, I guarantee you that whole milk is probably the least offensive thing the twins have had thrown into their coffee cups over the years. I heard one time, this coffee dude, used soy instead of milk. I know, I know. Huge scandal. Oh, and this one other time, someone put an extra shot of espresso. He had something entered into his file permanently. Shunned he was. Ruined for life. Forced to work at Seattle's Best now. Can't get a sniff of another Starbucks.

Did You Know Jodie Foster Was Gay?

I'm just waiting for someone to read the headline and not read the post, and then call me an idiot for not knowing Jodie is gay. What I really can't believe is that Jodie Foster is the same kind of cheating on your significant other kind of liar that so many others are. According to The Enquirer, Jodie cheated on her partner of 14 years with a much younger woman. I just have a hard time picturing Jodie using the same tired old cliches as any other cheater out there.

"Oh, yeah, I'm in a relationship, but it's been dead for years."

"We're only together for the kids."

"We have an understanding."

"How much do you charge?"

Whoops. That last one is really just from personal experience, and is probably not indicative of what Jodie said when she decided to cheat and break up her long term relationship. Can't you just see Jodie over the years just railing against any guy in the world who cheated on his significant other for someone much younger. I know she said it and you know she said it, but she went ahead and did it anyway.

Does anyone else feel a huge sense of disappointment to know that Jodie did it? Meanwhile. Poor Cydney right? Where is she? Still living with Jodie. Jodie is probably bringing home her new girlfriend each night and they laugh and play while Cydney cries herself to sleep in the basement. Know the feeling Cydney. The now broken couple continues planning to raise the children together, but you know that pretty soon, Jodie will make up some excuse and Cydney will be reduced to the odd phone call every other Mothers Day. Err Fathers Day?

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which two beyond-famous actor pals have late-night cocaine parties, much to their wives' dismay? They start at 3 a.m. and rage until sunrise - and we hear a rehabbed starlet has joined them for several sessions.

Yay! Justice System

Someone who is rich and stole money finally went to jail. The fact that it is Lou Pearlman who is one of the biggest degenerates on the planet just makes it all the more satisfying. Today a federal judge sentenced Lou to 25 years in jail for swindling $300 million from people and basically destroying the lives of thousands of investors.

The only downside to all of this is that Lou gets to spend his time in federal prison instead of say, state prison. In state prison they would show Lou what they think pf people who are degenerates, and he would be singing N'Sync and Backstreet Boys songs non-stop for the 25 years and calling everyone Daddy.

Another downside is that Lou gets a month knocked off his sentence for every $1M he returns to investors, so if Lou had all the money, the judge would basically let him walk, or shuffle painfully out of jail.

Lou said he was sorry. You can stuff your sorrys in a sack Mister. Jackass.

Like I Needed Another Reason To Love Whoopi Goldberg

I'll be honest, I'm biased because I love Whoopi. Love everything she has done from standup to films to hosting the Oscars to Ted Danson. Hey, I still watch Jumpin Jack Flash every few months. Now, on The View she is actually the one person out of any talk show that I feel will ask any question of any celebrity and not feel the need to suck up. Will she suck up? Sure, if the celebrity is her friend she will. But, I also bet in that situation she will realize that and let the other co-hosts ask tough questions. She doesn't care about not being able to get guests. She cares about getting the answers to the questions she has. The video below is Whoopi basically calling out Denise Richards and asking her why she has to include her kids in the reality show.

It is possible that if cameras had not been rolling that Denise would have taken a swing at Whoopi, who would have then kicked Denise's ass. And another thing, I know that Denise's mom died of cancer. It's tragic and I don't wish it on anyone. It is a horrible, horrible thing, but she uses it like a get out of jail free card and to me that is just as bad. She's doing the reality show because her mom wanted her to do it. She got together with Richie Sambora because her mom had cancer. She and Richie broke up because of the press and because her mom had cancer. I'm not making these up or exaggerating, this is what she has said. I get it. Your mom had cancer and passed. I hate that for you and your family, but stop using it as an excuse for everything you do and have done that shows you in a negative light.

Now, without further ado, here's Whoopi. Thanks to DNfromMN for the clip.

Today's Blind Items - Idiot Drug User Awards

I have been hanging onto the first of these for awhile because I just knew in my heart of hearts that there would be another idiot and then I could have my dream of posting Idiot Drug Users. No, it isn't as good as Will It Float?, but, it isn't bad.

#1 - Our first award today goes to this former B list television actor who was on a very hit show and since then has pretty much done jack crap. Oh, he still has just about A list name recognition, but he is dropping to C list as far as roles. So, as I said this first one was a few months ago. Our actor was with a woman at lunch. Outside on a patio, reaching into his little baggie every couple of minutes, and also sharing with his lady friend. Just passing the bag back and forth across the table. Outside. On a patio next to a public sidewalk. Finish lunch and management comps the check. Our actor doesn't have any cash for a tip and his girlfriend has like $5. So, our actor leaves the $5 and the remaining coke as a tip for the waitress. Leaves it right out on the table. Points to it and says something to the effect. There's your tip. Have a great night tonight.

#2 - Our second award goes to another actor. This actor is C list. 95% films. B+ name recognition just because it is kind of an odd name and from some roles he did ten years ago or so. He even has some music connections that are cool, but not known at all as a singer. Also known as a guy who thinks he is better than he actually is, and that women should throw themselves at him. Well our actor has a little meth problem. He doesn't snort it anymore, just smokes it. So, at a club the other night, our actor wanted to spend some time enjoying his favorite hobby. Problem was his lighter was out. So, instead of just asking someone to borrow their lighter and being done with it, our actor went out to the indoor/outdoor smoking area and went up to each person and asked for a light and asked if they wanted to share his meth. He asked males, females, and then he asked the bouncers. They asked him to repeat what he said, and he did and then showed it to them. They then asked him to leave.

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

Why the hell not? It's Bonnie Franklin at the top of the reader photos. Still looks fabulous and is working that red carpet like she was never gone from it.
Aly and AJ just because they have never been in the photos before and someone told me a really good story about their last birthday party. It was a good wholesome story. Kind of boring actually. That is probably a good thing though when it comes to tweeners.
So who here is with me in thinking that Alyson Hannigan got some work done on her face? Could be weight loss, but I am going with work.
Do you know hard Harrison Ford must have worked to actually get thinner than Calista Flockhart. It doesn't seem scientifically possible, but then again Harrison playing Indy at the age of 84? also doesn't seem possible.

Grant Show makes his first appearance in the photos. First Bonnie now Grant. It's like watching some VH-1 special.
Another first timer is Damian Walsh-Howling.
Look, all of you know I love Cate Blanchett. I know all of you love Cate Blanchett. Now that we have all agreed we like her, do you think we can ask her wtf she is wearing? Is that lame'?
I just don't get tired of Bernadette Peters photos. 60 years old and looks better than anyone on The Hills.
Minka Kelly looks fantabulous. Is that a word? It doesn't really matter does it? So, John Mayer broke up with Minka so he could "date" Jennifer Aniston? Yeah. Not seeing that.

Happy 60th birthday Leo Sayer.
Karen Allen as I live and breathe. Still the best "Indy Girl."
Ashton Kutcher has a hell of a job last night. First he had to let Joe Francis put an arm around him knowing Demi would kick his ass later. Then he was asked to decide who was the bigger ass between Joe and Wilmer.
Hayley Westenra - Tokyo

Nikki Blonsky looks great. I love how she loves herself. I wish I loved myself. I do usually like myself, but, love is such a tough thing to achieve. I'm jealous of Nikki. Of course she could be faking it, but I do know I would love to party with her. Of course since she isn't 21, then we get into the whole contributing to the delinquency of a minor thing and then I end up in jail where lots of people are willing to love me.

Long time no see Ashanti.
Long time never see Michelle Williams. Of course this could be because Beyonce had final say in the videos. You would every once in awhile catch a glimpse of Michelle's hair as it made an appearance behind Beyonce.
Matthew Perry is in on that wasting away to nothing contest with Carson Daly.
Matthew Modine finally gets out of his shorts and into something nice. Looks great.

Nice to see exes getting alone, although Uma Thurman does look a bit strained to hear about Ethan Hawke's recap of how he knocked up their nanny.

Not just Salt. You wanna some Pepa? I gotta your Pepa.
Hey. Shia. Too much for one day.
Our lovely reader would like all of you to know she is NOT the beached whale. She said to say that.
Hi, I'm Nikki Hilton and my LV bag wasn't pretentious enough so I got the new one so you can clearly see that I have more money than you.

Cannes Day 8

Madonna and Guy Ritchie

Benicio Del Toro
Bill Pullman and Julia Ormond


Estelle Lefebure

Naomi Campbell and Christophe Rocancourt

Sharon Stone
Natalie Portman
Michelle Yeoh


Eva Herzigova
Christian Slater and Ziyi Zhang

Shia LeBoeuf in GQ

This is for all you Shia fans. For the interview, click here.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which fiercely "antiairbrush" fading pop star's "intimate" tattoos were digitally removed after a photoshoot? When she eventually found out, she was absolutely livid...

Guess What? What? Your Sister Hates You

US Weekly no doubt took perverse glory in letting Jessica Alba's brother know that Jessica had just gotten married. Apparently in Jessica's family, the nice guys like Josh Alba are routinely ignored and left out of all life decisions. Look, I know you wanted to keep the damn thing quiet and you didn't have to invite anyone except the two witnesses who probably were laughing so hard that tears were running down their faces, but don't you think you could at least call your brother and tell him you are married.

I realize that Josh is a nice guy and really genuine so that may be a foreign concept to you, but it is really an ass move to have a tabloid break the news to him instead of you. Oh, I'm sure you were too busy with things like counting your awards for acting and reading all your positive reviews, but next time, show that you are part human and give Josh a break. Yes, I know he actually looks like he might be Hispanic so you pretend you don't know him, but not calling to say you are married is just totally without class. On the other hand so is Cash, so it all works out in the end.

For Josh's part, he was, as always the nice guy. When asked by US, whether Cash would make a good husband, Josh replied, "Well, he's my brother in law now!" That's my Josh. Takes the high road because the d**k is now family.

Psychic Has A Fantasy About Jake G.

Hollywood psychic Kenny Kingston has claimed that Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal were destined to fall in love. Well I'm destined to fall in love with a supermodel if I can come up with enough cash. Hell, we're all destined if we can do that.

Kenny, who I think is still pissed off because he missed out on the whole dial a psychic and waste your money 900# scam says that Reese and Jake first met in a past life. Oh yes, it's true. She was a nurse and Jake was a doctor during World War One. In between treating patients, they fell in love.

At some point Jake was called up to a more active role in the war to help out all the guys in the trenches. I guess Jake was there to make sure that all the guys were really given some one on one medical services. Really get at the root of whatever problems they might be having and to be there to inject them with what they needed. As a result of Jake's active duty, the lovers had their destiny interrupted.

Kenny says that now they have a chance to correct destiny and to be together as lovers and to work together again as well. Oh, they're working together all right. I think all this is just some kind of fantasy Kenny uses in his mind to be able to fall asleep each night, but my commentary is probably a little more PG than the R fantasy Kenny has.

Nicole Kidman Shows She Has No Imagination

In one last attempt to try and show the world that Nicole Kidman is actually pregnant and to get people to care about the fact she is pregnant Nicole Kidman has decided to pose nude for a magazine cover. Wow Nicole how the hell did you think that one up?

Nicole thinks the public will love it and that it will no doubt drive the prices up she can get for those baby photos. I on the other hand don't want to see another celebrity mom posing naked because they can get away with it without appearing to be trashy. Do when you are pregnant and it's art. Do it when you are not pregnant and you might as well call yourself Denise Richards and get that reality television career brewing. Come to think of it has Nicole been in anything worthwhile in years? I wouldn't mind seeing her in a reality show. It would probably set a record for the coldest, most sterile looking show ever. I actually think she is slowly sucking the warmth out of Keith Urban's body in an attempt to somehow make her own body warmer. Not working. Still looks colder than brain freeze from a Slurpee.

Those Maids Sure Can Party

In what has to be in the running for the most ballsy statement said by a PR person so far this year, the rep for Jesse Metcalfe says that the damage in Jesse's hotel suite all occurred after Jesse had checked out.

According to the NY Post, Jesse had received a complimentary suite a hotel in San Diego. He got the suite because the hotel in San Diego probably heard the words Desperate Housewives and missed the word jackass.

The allegedly sober in his own mind Jesse managed to put cigarette burns in each piece of furniture in the room, smeared food all over each wall, and broke at least one door. For fun, he drank all the liquor in the mini-bar. The hotel says it asked Jesse to leave. Presumably they don't want him back.

When asked about the condition of the room and if in fact Jesse was completely insane or just living out some time of rock star fantasy or just upset because McDonalds was out of Speed Racer toys, Jesse's rep said, none of the damage was caused by Jesse and somehow all the damage was inflicted after Jesse checked out.

Yep, the maids saw Jesse leave, and knowing his reputation decided this was their chance to party and not have to worry about making a mess. All the maids ran to Jesse's room, started chain smoking and using the furniture as ashtrays, decided to have a food painting contest on the walls and played quarters with the $15 bottles of Stoli in the mini-bar. Then in their haste to escape when they heard a manager was coming, one of the stronger women yanked the front door off its frame and allowed the others to escape.

They then went back and started cleaning the other rooms with no one the wiser.

Lainey Blind Item

Recently reunited with his long time lover, this celebrated actor is supposed to be taking his new role seriously … which is why perhaps why he has spent several late nights hitting up the decadent continental club scene, rolling in at no earlier than 3am and staying til sun up. Three times in the last 5 days. And there’s nothing wrong with that…only on 2 of those nights he hasn’t left alone. They are leggy and orange and immediately replaceable. Would certainly go against the recommitment but then again, maybe that’s how the recommitment was arranged.

Married On A Monday

According to Kneepads Magazine Jessica Alba and Cash Warren were married yesterday. When I think of love and romance, I often think of Monday's. It's the ultimate case of the Monday's, but I think I would rather wear 30 pieces of flair than be married to Cash Warren.

I guess no one even noticed they got married. Jessica's rep had to call Kneepads and tell them the two had got hitched and then probably offered the pictures for $5M or something. That is of course if they were really married.

I know they were probably trying to avoid the press by having it on a Monday, but I think that they could have done it on a Saturday if they were going to be this sneaky. I thought maybe May 19th was just really special to them for some reason. Maybe because 1 and 9 add up to ten so Cash can remember their anniversary without having to use his feet as well.

Maybe the day was just random, or maybe it was the only day 50 Cent was free. Who knows. Anyway, I wish the couple good luck.

Today's Blind Items

#1 - Which former husband of this singing diva spent so much time running back and forth to the bathroom at a recent party that management had to give him a towel so he could keep wiping off the sweat that would not stop pouring off his face and head.

#2 - These three cast members from Battlestar Galactica all share a home. Nothing wrong with that. Actually there is nothing really wrong with the fact that all three share the same bedroom. Now, the husband of one of the women in the threesome might be a little put out by the living situation, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him.

Cannes Day 7

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt

Clint Eastwood and wife, Dina

Sharon Stone

Tim Robbins

Rodrigo Santoro

Julia Ormond

Sean Combs

Victoria Silvstedt

Gwyneth Paltrow

Diego Maradona

Dita von Teese

Nick Nolte and son, Brawley Nolte (second from right)

Dennis Hopper and Victoria Duffy

Bill Pullman

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

Cyndi Lauper gets the top spot because, hey it's Cyndi Lauper and this has been kind of an 80's week and she looks better than she has in ages.
New on the fall network schedule is Drew Barrymore and The Skeleton.

Billy Eichner makes his first appearance in the photos.

I've seen Edward Burns looking better, but since I'm a fan, I will refrain from commenting on the fact that those buttons at the bottom of his shirt are likely to explode and put an eye out.

Tell me there isn't a sock. I see it.

It's hard to believe these guys once had groupies.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. I love Julie Hagerty. I actually liked her in What About Bob? better than the Airplane! movies though.

Just in case you were wondering what happens to old Project Runway winners.

So when Jordan Loukas was getting ready she couldn't find anything to wear and just borrowed one of Jonathon Pease's t-shirts.

Thrilling business this making of films. If Kristen Bell were smart, she would throw this gum up on e-bay and pass the time by seeing what idiots would bid on it.

Does anyone else get the feeling that Kaz James and Alex Dimitriades are about thisclose to doing a walk off?

Goodness Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos are a good looking couple. The guy just does not age.

Never can get enough of Lynda Carter.

Liv Tyler goes for the whole Christina Aguilera makeup experience.

Mila Kunis looks stunning.

Never will a bad word cross my lips when talking about Martha Plimpton.

Or for that matter Molly Sims.

Hey, look ma. It's a reader photo.

Roger Waters - London

"Ummm. I used to be on a tv show." Tom Wopat is obviously dazed and confused because someone is actually giving a damn about him again and taking his photo.

Hey New York I Need Two People Tonight - Free Wine

There is a brand new digital magazine called F2 and they are having their launch party tonight in New York. It is being sponsored by Black Swan so you should be able to get hammered pretty nicely. If you are interested, let me know quickly. It is tonight in Soho from 8-11 and you have to be 21, or at least have a really good fake i.d.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which idiotic actor has been publicly dumped by his lovely girlfriend after he knocked her to the ground and flirted with his bimbo co-star in front of her?

Yesterday A Cocker Spaniel - Tomorrow A Scientology School

That didn't take long. Yesterday I told you about the story that was published making out Will Smith to be a daring hero who rescues dogs and provides wisdom to growing boys. Well today, he has taken the wisdom thing just a bit further. According to the National Enquirer, Will Smith is funding a new school in Calabasas. As in where Nick and Jessica used to call home.

The school is called New Village Academy. Nothing wrong with that. Lots of celebrities want to leave their marks on the world, and a school is a good place. Well, when you click on the website, click on the curriculum tab and start looking at the language they use. I'm going to whisper now. Scientology. Shhhh. Here's an excerpt I found which describes what happens when kids don't do well.

This is a process they call Quals.

Our Qualifications teacher works in unison with the teachers to help them so that all children are learning, progressing toward their goals, and happy in school.

Upon completion of a subject chapter such as in math, the teacher sends the student to “Qual”, where he/she is given an test in various forms. If the student scores anything less than 100%, the Qualifications teacher will sit down with the student and go over the part of the exam that was not fully understood and make sure the student understands all of the words and concepts in the chapter. The teacher will also make sure the student did not skip any concepts which would inhibit learning. This is done to help students so that they gain 100% certainty.

If a student is having difficulty in class in a particular subject, the teacher may send the child to Qual for assistance in finding out why the student is not progressing. Qual staff will intensively work with the student to determine what is going on and work with them one-on-one until they have grasped the subject matter and are ready to move on.

Last, Qual is also used to make sure that each student is on target in his/her individual school program. Qual keeps track of each student’s entire program and makes sure that he/she is moving at a smooth and comfortable pace.

They then hook him up to an e-meter and ask him if he has ever had fantasies of killing his parents. Just go through the school's website. They also offer "Study Technology" and ethics & survival. Did you just hear that? It's Jada cackling. I swear I heard it.

Crackhead Kids

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, Amy Winehouse is caught on video. No, it isn't taking drugs, or having sex although that would be pretty painful for all of us. No, it's much worse. No, it isn't Amy sucking on Pete's nasty fingers one by one or watching her smile big for the cameras displaying her missing teeth. Brace yourselves.

Amy Winehouse wants kids with Blaaaaaake and she shares it with the world or the paps or at least in her mind. Yes, you heard it straight from her. Queen Crackhead wants kids. Obviously she sees what a great parent Pete Doherty is to his kid. You know, being a role model and all that. Pete did see his kid the other day for the first time in forever, and the kid probably wanted to know why he had pissed off his mom so much that she made him spend time with dad.

For f**ks sake, lets pretend that somehow Blaaaaaake gets our of jail before Amy kills herself, and they manage to stay sober long enough to have sex, and Blaaaaaaaaaaaake manages to get Amy pregnant. Ummm, are we all going to sit here and say that Amy is going to be 100% sober through her pregnancy? There is not a chance in hell, and this baby is going to have the worst life in the entire world. There probably isn't a birth defect known to man that this kid won't have, and Amy can't wait to make it all happen.

The video was messing up the formatting of the site, so if you want to see it, click here.

I Wonder What She Confessed

Katie Holmes gets to do her play. All it took was a 24 hour marathon of Queer As Folk and three straight days hooked to an e-meter. Now, she gets to the joy and glory of being about 5th billed in a play. When we start hearing all the stories about how this was something she has always wanted to do and that it has been a lifelong dream to be on Broadway, I want you to remember that if her last two films had been huge blockbusters, I'm guessing her dream would have been something else.

Of course it could be her dream to get out of the house, and to be free even for just a few weeks. Oh she thinks she's going to be free, but in reality, how long do you think it will be that Tom "I have nothing to do" Cruise will be by her side in New York. I give it about a week before he is wining and dining her each night as they hook up with new Broadway pals. It will give Tom a chance to spend some intimate time with the Gossip Girl cast, and to find out what makes Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane really tick.

Good times.

Brooke Hogan Having A Breakdown

Fox News is reporting that Brooke Hogan is having a breakdown and they blame her brother's jail sentence and her dad's affair. I think they leave out the most important piece of all and that is she saw the photos that were splashed all over the world of her dad creeping his hand closer and closer to her vay-jay-jay. I'm assuming it is a vay-jay-jay. Has anyone ever actually checked? Has she ever had a boyfriend other than the ones they show on that reality thing she does?

Well, for now we will go ahead and assume it is a vay-jay-jay because if we were to assume she had some other parts down there then that leads us into an entirely different direction about what daddy likes and why Nick might be glad he is spending 8 months in prison and not having his inner thighs oiled, at least by dad. What goes on in jail is another thing entirely.

So imagine you are Brooke, and you and your dad have just awakened the morning after the incident. After he makes sure you are still oiled up between your legs, you decide to take a look at the gossip sites and see your dad oiling you up and the entire world freaked out by what you and he are doing.

There is your breakdown. Not dad having an affair because it probably was about the 100th and not the first, and I doubt it was because of Nick because the whole family knew that was coming. No, it is because the entire world saw your dad's fingers rubbing oil in between your thighs and looking to all the world like he was sticking one inside your vay-jay-jay for good measure. Oh, and she probably didn't like the way the light hit her. Honey. It really doesn't matter what angle the light hits you or the camera shoots you from. You are Hulk Hogan's son. I mean daughter and it shows.

Jolie Admits Killing Pets In Drug Den Clip

That headline was screaming out at me this morning, and I was saying to myself, "wow, she really was a crazy freak when she was growing up." Then of course I read the actual article. You know, where they actually put down what terrible deeds Angelina Jolie did to her pets. I was expecting that she sacrificed them, or dissected them while living. What else would you expect from a woman talking about death in a drug den. Don't you just love that term drug den? Evokes images of 30 or 40 people all sitting around a condemned building smoking crack or injecting heroin with filthy needles. Kind of like Amy Winehouse's house.

Anyway, lets go over the destruction Angelina inflicted on her pets.

A mouse died when she dyed its hair blue. Umm. Where are my chants to Satan and the cruel and unusual part? Yes, it was horrible of her to dye the hair of her mouse blue, but I'm guessing she didn't probably think it would kill the mouse.

A hamster died after catching pneumonia because she had taken the hamster in the shower with her. Well if he was a guy hamster he probably went out the way he wanted to go out, but still not seeing drug den worthy images. There is one more though. I know this one will be good. I mean look at the headline. It screams crazy pet killer and I want crazy pet killer.

A pet lizard died after it was left out in the sun too long. Seriously? That's it? Where are the guns and the matches and the knives? Where is the crazy part of the killings? I guess the good news is that she appears to have learned her lesson. It has been a few years since she dyed any of the hair on the kids.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which ESPN host was having a laugh over Oscar De La Hoya's cross-dressing pictures? The burly boy did a fey impression of the boxer at the Sports Museum of America gala.

Today's Blind Items

#1 - Ahhh, you hear that? It's the sound of a gold digger? So imagine if you will that you are a reality star. A network reality star. As in this has nothing to do with MTV. So, our reality star is a female, although gold digging is by no means gender specific. Our reality star was at an event where she was unfamiliar with many of the people. Unfamiliar means she hadn't heard of them and so didn't know how much they made or what they did. So, she found a publicist at the event and made small talk and got her to spill on each person. When the publicist would rattle off an estimated worth, our reality star would wander over and flirt and try to get a number or give a number. Married, single, it really didn't matter. Cute, ugly? Inconsequential. The only thing that did was a big checkbook.

#2 - I've written about this couple before, but for such a young age they have certainly caught on to how the game is played. Married. She is an extremely popular singer and he is a nobody. He goes both ways, and she doesn't really care. She loves him, and doesn't want to give up so she lets him be. This is their latest trick. When they attend a party, they walk the red carpet and kiss and make nicey nice for the cameras. If a tabloid runs their picture, there they are. The happy couple. What they don't see is the husband taking off five minutes later to go meet his boyfriend. If someone asks about her husband inside the event, our singer just says that he is around somewhere.

Cannes Day 6

Gwenyth Paltrow

Jeremy Gilley and Jude Law

Jackie Chan with Lui Feng Chao and Wang Wenjie

Monica Bellucci

Sean Combs

Clemence Posey and Jim Sturgess
Arta Dobroshi

Kristin Scott Thomas

Natalie Portman

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

Don't read anything into the fact that this reader photo is on the top. Not playing favorites, I just forgot to include it until the end and so it is on top. I've got about four or five more reader photos ready and they will be posted in the order I got them. I figure that with another 10 or so, I will go ahead and post them again in one big reader photo post. This reader got into the whole 80's thing from Friday. Obviously.
I love Andrea Martin and I guarantee you this is probably the only site or tabloid that will post her photo. The woman is hilarious and now her career comes down to being posted on my site. Hardly seems fair. Meanwhile, Jessica Simpson who really has no discernible talent has her photo splashed over about 300 sites.

The flowers might have been from Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaake, but we all know he used Amy's credit card to pay for them.
I was going to rag on Chuck Wicks for this outfit, but then decided it was a pretty cool way to get out of wearing a tie. That being said, it is only interesting once. After today it is no different than the t-shirt with the tux painted on it.

Having no teeth is the least of Carrot Top's issues.
Clint Black was probably the best dressed guy at the Country Music Awards. The orange monster above was probably the worst.
I say probably because Criss Angel was there. Isn't there a magician out there with stronger powers than Criss who could maybe make him disappear. I mean Lance Burton makes a damn airplane disappear every night, you would think someone could make Criss disappear.
Brooke Mueller. Still ring less. I'm surprised she actually left Charlie alone in the house. Charlie Sheen alone and with access to Craig's List is just a recipe for disaster.

Wow. It's like Karolina Kurkova is wearing a tennis court.

After the awards, Jake Owen will go back to being the limo driver.
Jewel looks incredible.
It looks like Don Yates met Wynona Judd on the way to the show, beat the crap out of her and stole her dress to wear over his jeans.
David Spade was at the awards because he's hoping he can actually find someone he hasn't hit on, and he already missed the Dove Awards.
Pete Murray - Sydney

Yeah. Got it. You're pregnant.
Hairdresser - "Oh, honey. I know what will look good." sucks in cigarette and wipes dropped ash off Marisa's hair. "I'll pile your hair on top of your head a foot tall, and it will look so good. Beehives are in."
Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton make a good looking couple.
You know I love Kellie Pickler, but I bet she has no idea what that new tattoo really says. Oh, she knows what the stoned dude who did it says it meant, but he just got it out of a magazine.
Tace Adkins decided to wear the suit he's going to be buried in, just to make sure it fits right.

Staind - Camden, NJ
When your "girlfriend" is laughing at your tight pants and your feeble attempt to show off, you know you have a problem.
Sacha Baron Cohen on the set of his new film.
Didn't mean to put you last Ringo. Just kind of forgot. Hey, kind of like the rest of the Beatles always treated you.

You Think Victoria Beckham Is An Alien? I'll Show You An Alien

I don't know what it is with this Princess Letizia from Spain and my obsession. I honestly want to know what the hell kind of torture she faced while she was growing up that she always looks like this. She moves so stiffly that if she had less hair and talked about global warming incessantly I would think it was Al Gore in drag.

Seriously, did her parents beat her when she didn't look like a robot? Get sent to bed without dinner? Time outs? What caused this? She's always like this. Look at the first photo and tell me there isn't a crapload of tension in her? She is in desperate need of a Vicodin. I'm surprised her thumb isn't bruised. Look at the last photo in the sequence when she moves her fingers. It is almost like an explosion because there was no other movement. I know you guys probably don't care about her or her husband, but she is really starting to freak me out.

OMG!!!!! Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer

I saw this picture and I just can't stop staring. Oh, you think it is because they are kissing. Honestly, I could give a rats ass. John's a slut and he is just doing what he's doing. No, the reason I posted the photo is look at the cigarettes Jennifer Aniston is smoking. Merit. Jennifer Aniston smokes Merit? That cigarette was designed for surly old men in their 50's who have no hair, a beer belly and like to practice boxing on their wives.

Merit doesn't even bother to use women in their ads because there is no way any woman would ever buy a pack unless their abusive husband made them go buy some. Merit is the brand you see guys smoking when they are hauling in the crabs on Deadliest Catch. Merit is not the cigarette of choice for anyone in Hollywood. Merit is so male oriented that you almost have to be a magician to not get burned when you light it. The paper is so flammable that Philip Morris is being sued by the Dept of Justice because Merit didn't bother telling anyone that your face might catch on fire when lighting it.

Only someone who is a true smoker, would smoke Merit. Although they have lights, a person who smokes Merit is going for the full on nicotine experience. As a result of this, the Merit smoker tends to be the one who reeks of smoke and stinks up your entire house, so when I see John Mayer leaning in for that kiss, I just know that he is inhaling about 20 years of smoking all in the kiss. Can you imagine how her tongue tastes? Ewwwwww.

Actually he might have discovered this for himself as Jennifer appears to have an unlit one in her hand. No doubt John wants to go in now before the smoke just becomes too over powering and just not worth whatever publicity he is trying to get out of this whole thing.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Who has been bitching about her supposed best pal for stealing all her mates?

The BP has more money for party liveners...

No Gossip. Just A Rant

I don't do much shopping because honestly, I really don't have much money. Between the ex-wives and the drinking it pretty much disappears each month as fast it comes in. So, like many of you I am always looking for a sale. When I think sale, I'm thinking at least 20%, but to really make me get my lazy ass out of the recliner you better make it 40%.

Would you or anyone you know get out of your recliner for a 5% off sale? How about 8%? I wouldn't either. That isn't even worth my time or gas or anything. So, how is it that each and every week I hear at least 5 different companies all advertising no sales tax sale and think that all of us are going to be dumb enough to come in.

I know each state has a different sales tax and some have none, but here in California it is about 7%. The way they make the ads sound, they act as if they are doing the public the biggest damn favor of their entire lives. That the store is going to go out of business because this is such a damn good deal. 7%? Seriously? No one would care unless they were already at the store and the clerk said, "oh, by the way, today you get 7% off." Plus, to make matters worse, the 7% is money we don't care about.

When you take your tax rebate check and go to Best Buy to purchase that new flat screen with built in porn, the price might be $1,499. Each and every person is going to say it costs $1,499. The sales tax is just something that gets thrown on at the register. What we say we are paying is $1,499, so when the store says you don't have to pay the sales tax, who gives a f**k, because in our minds we weren't paying it anyway. We were just paying $1,499.

The fact that stores keep doing this is either because they have no imagination, think we are all stupid, or that we must think sales tax is 40% or something. Maybe I'm alone, and maybe people really are influenced by it. Maybe I'm the only guy in the world who thinks the price is the price. Tell me I'm wrong and I'll shut up. I know it's not gossip, but honestly I heard 14 different stores this weekend with the same promotion and I just couldn't stand it anymore.

Just Change The Names

OK, last week I commented on the story some rag wrote about how Jake was ready to wed Reese despite the fact he hadn't even proposed to her and they hadn't even spoken about her. This week it's time for Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel. I am going to print the story first as it was published, and then again, but substituting Jake and Reese for Justin and Jessica.

Justin Timberlake is ready to name a date for his wedding to Jessica Biel, say reports.

The popstar has apparently decided that he wants to settle down with Biel and is researching possible venues for them to tie the knot.

"Justin is 27 and thinking about marriage and kids," said a source. "For the first time in his life he is feeling settled and has definitely decided to pop the question to Jessica.

"He is so happy with her. They spent quite a bit of time apart recently when Justin was working with Madonna.

"That made him certain Jessica was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with."

According to The Sun, Timberlake's first choice of venue is the West Indian island Mustique, which doesn't allow paparazzi to visit.

An insider commented: "Although Justin has lived his whole life in the public eye, he feels his wedding is the one day that should remain private.

"To get all his close friends and family to Mustique will cost a fortune, but he can’t put a price on how he feels about Jessica."

The 'SexyBack' singer has previously been romantically linked to Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz, Dannii Minogue and Scarlett Johansson.

And now lets substitute

Jake Gyllenhaal is ready to name a date for his wedding to Reese Witherspoon, say reports.

The actor has apparently decided that he wants to settle down with Witherspoon and is researching possible venues for them to tie the knot.

"Jake is 27 and thinking about marriage and kids," said a source. "For the first time in his life he is feeling settled and has definitely decided to pop the question to Reese.

"He is so happy with her. They spent quite a bit of time apart recently when Jake was working with Jessica Biel.

"That made him certain Reese was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with."

According to The Sun, Gyllenhaal's first choice of venue is the West Indian island Mustique, which doesn't allow paparazzi to visit.

An insider commented: "Although Jake has lived his whole life in the public eye, he feels his wedding is the one day that should remain private.

"To get all his close friends and family to Mustique will cost a fortune, but he can’t put a price on how he feels about Reese."

The 'BrokeBack' actor has previously been romantically (how about just linked?) linked to Kirsten Dunst, and Lance Armstrong, Austin Nichols, and Jennifer Aniston.

Didn't really have to change much at all. This article will work well in any situation. Try it out with any couple that has not actually got engaged yet. My blog is free so if it is crap a few times a week or everyday, who cares. But honestly, I think when you are paying for gossip you deserve something better than this load of crap.

I Thought The Show Was About Ali

Every time I see an interview with White Oprah about her new reality show, she is always saying that it is about Ali and giving Ali her chance to shine. WO, is always coy about whether Lindsay will make an appearance and say that we will have to watch. Not me, I'll wait and let somebody tell me, and then head over to YouTube. I'm not giving the Lohan family any money.

In the first episode, entitled All About Ali, the entire show is actually spent around looking for things about Lindsay online. Plus there are phone calls to Lindsay, photos of Lindsay, clips of Lindsay's movies, Lindsay's album playing in the background constantly and then at the end Ali comes out and asks if it is time to film her show.

Exaggeration? Sure, but the scenes that were being previewed of the first show were actually all about Lindsay. In the show, WO, sends an e-mail to a blogger in response to a story about Lindsay she says is false. She tells the blogger that the article needs to be taken down because WO has got the lawyer ready to go. Well next time WO says that, let her have the attorney send you the letter because that way WO will have to fork over the cash.

She also spends time talking about Lindsay's year in rehab and basically not meeting a guy she didn't like. And finally she spends several minutes trying to decide if that cell phone video from earlier in the year is Lindsay having sex. Not surprised there is a sex tape of Lindsay, just trying to see if it is really her. Shows you what goes on around that house.

Not one second of the preview is about Ali.

Would You Let Your 12 Year Old Hang Out With Amy Winehouse?

Have you seen the new video of Amy Winehouse with her 12 year old goddaughter Dionne? Well if you haven't, you can check it out below. In the video Amy and Dionne duet on an Alicia Keys song. The purpose of the duet is for some type of audition tape for Dionne so she can come to the US for some kind of music summer camp. I say that she should get invited no matter what.

She obviously can't rely on her parents to make smart decisions for her. They are letting her hang out with Amy. First shot in the video is Amy chugging from a bottle of whiskey. Then we get five minutes of Amy trying to play guitar and singing along. Amy is kind of like the drunk relative who always wants to do things with you which are just really uncomfortable. Most of the time they only occur at the holidays, but apparently with Amy, she sees this kid a bunch.

The problem is the kid loves Amy and doesn't think Amy has ever done anything wrong. If she thinks that, then I really am scared about what her parents are doing in front of her. Lets assume they are totally perfect angels around Dionne. How do you explain Amy to her? "Well honey, Aunt Amy has some problems and so she is trying to work through them. Yes, honey, drinking helps her with her problems. Yes, honey that little rock she's smoking is actually helping her. Oh, don't worry about the needle in her arm honey, she is just injecting some medicine to make her feel better. Oh? the guy with the black teeth? He used to date Kate Moss. Yes, I know it is weird watching them have sex right here. Oh, they showed you the video of the cats eating the mice?"

Will Smith Morphs Into Tom Cruise

If the headline said that Will Smith had saved the lives of people in a car accident, I wouldn't have been surprised. As it is though, since Will is probably new to the whole Scientology thing and if he has joined the church is presumably at a lower level than Tom, you kind of have to start out smaller. In Will's case there was no car accident or pulling people from a burning vehicle before it exploded.

Nope, Will instead gets the whole saving the life of a dog thing. According to reports, Will Smith was out jogging when he heard three young boys screaming for help. Unbuttoning his shirt and furling his cape, Will searched for the boys until he found them. What he found was a cocker spaniel trapped in the weeds after jumping into a canal to chase a stick one of the boys had thrown. The actor using all of his super powers waded into the canal and pulled the dog free.

After the boys stopped crying and thanking Will, he had this lesson to offer. "Next time you play fetch, play it on the grass."

I'll be back in a second. I have to go throw up now.

NY Daily News Blind Items

Which new-mama publicist has named her bundle of joy after a certain D-list "celebrity" she has been crushing on for years, much to the embarrassment of her baby daddy?

Which celebrity starlet are magazines desperately trying to get to come out on their pages? Editors say they are willing to pay big bucks for the first interview.

Cannes Day 5

Cate Blanchett
Salma Hayek

Dennis Hopper, son Henry Lee and wife, Victoria Duffy


Kate Capshaw and Steven Spielberg
Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart

John Hurt and Ann Rees Myers


Natalie Portman

Rachael Lee Cook
Linda Evangelista
Christian Slater and Tamara Mellon


Paz Vega

Shia LeBoeuf