Full Frontal Friday

Full Frontal Friday, the I Am In a Hurry Edition. As always, if you are over the age of 18, have your own office or are at home, by all means, click here.

Four For Friday - Quick And Dirty Edition

#1 - Know that show about teenagers in NY? Yes that one. Which one of the cuties on the show is going to be spending much of the time in between seasons in a little place we like to call rehab?

#2 - Famous author. Writes legal thrillers. Married. Having an affair with entertainment reporter who interviewed the author.

#3 - B list actress on hit network medical show. Holding out for a pay raise for next season even though on a contract. Reason? Owes too much money to her dealer. Will die if there is a strike by SAG.

#4 - This B list actor who has been on several HIT shows his cheating on his wife with a former co-star.

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

So can you believe that Big Boi and

Bob Barr were at the same party? Me either, but right after this photo, Bob started singing Hey Ya to the crowd.So, if this tribe had never been contacted before, then how the hell did the photographers know where to look? Is that a Range Rover I see in the photo? I know I see a photo of Paris Hilton inside that shelter.



The one and only Danny Glover.

Dirty Harry 18 - Harry meets Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy
Chace Crawford shows off his oral skills while the girl shows she's a biter. Learn from Chace sweetie.
The always popular Andrew Keegan. Thin. No?

Joe Jackson - Perth

Josh Duhamel on the set of his new film.
"I'm going to need you to put more photos of me up on Saturday."
Donna Summer - New York
A first time appearance for Dash Mihok.

Rashida Jones better have picked me up one of everything at the swag suites or she is going to the bottom of Random Photos permanently. Not off mind you. No, I am way too forgiving for that. It's why my ex-wives always cheated on me. That and I'm obese.

Another first timer. This time it's Matthew Borlenghi.
Leighton Meester and Michelle Trachtenberg. Nothing to say. I guess it just kind of expected that as a gossip site you are supposed to put them up. Don't know why really.
You have got to be f**king kidding me.
Jojo is another first timer.

Usher - New York

Damn. Now Tom Cruise's shoes have ended up on royalty.
Steve Guttenberg apparently is stuck back in the 80's when he was popular. Is that a Members Only jacket?
Our reader photo of the day. No, not the blue one. The other one. No, not the half hidden security guard. The woman in the middle. Yes. See her now? Good.
Everyday is a good day when you see Rex Lee. "Lloyd!"

Your Turn

So, I thought today that I would share some of my favorite lines from films. There are obviously lots more, and some I couldn't find, but this will give you a great start. When I could find a clip, or a link to a clip, I provided it, otherwise, I have given you just the line.

First up is a great line from Better Off Dead



As I have mentioned previously, one of my favorite lines of all time from Vacation.



You have to go about 10 seconds in on this clip to see this line from Mr. Mom



From Fletch

Chief Karlin: What do you do for a living, Mr. Fletch?
Fletch: I'm a shepherd.

This is from Boiler Room. I found the clip, but it is 8 minutes long, so just left in the one line I love.

Jim Young: Anybody who tells you money is the root of all evil doesn't fucking have any.

From Dogma

Loki: Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, outside of soccer.

A great clip from Sixteen Candles



Fast Times At Ridgemont High

Mike Damone: I came over to help you out with your math homework. I figured you could use it on such a hot day...

The Jerk

Navin: It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child.

Zoolander

Matilda: I became...
Hansel: What?
Matilda: Bulimic.
Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?

Uncle Buck

Marcie Dahlgren-Frost: Marcie Dahlgren-Frost. Dahlgren is my maiden name, Frost is my married name. I'm single again, but I never bothered to remove the frost. And I get compliments on the hyphen.

The Ref

Gus: Your husband ain't dead, lady, he's hiding.

Ted C Blind Item Part Two

Morgan Mayhem is up to her old tricks. Well, I guess they can't really be considered old if she never stopped doing them?

Ms. May has a load of talents, but her best (and most often used) one is alienating her amigos. One of the buds she's burned as of late is the brother of one of her former flames, Dare to Do Me, the cute eye candy from a band still pretty popular on the charts. M2 is still psycho for the rocker she's shared several rendezvous romps with in the past, but D.D.'s moved on to focus on his music, good boy. Morg still keeps Dare's bro around, prolly as a resource if the fella ever wants to play with this par-tick groupie again.

Morgy is prone to wrestling up some wacky stuff to put her so-called friends through. She'll call the dreamy Do Me's brother up on a random weekday, claming she just bought them both plane tickets to Europe for that very day. If that wasn't spontaneous and silly enough, Do Me 2 will pick May-babe up and drive her to the airport, only to find out there's no ticket for him. Girl just straight up lies. Can you imagine that in Los Angeles? Oh, you shouldn't treat pals like that, M2, especially when they're related to amours you may want to snag back once you're finished with your current, more curious, conquests.

But listen up: Maybe it's not all drugs, dudes and rock 'n' roll with Mayhem, after all. Close buds swears Morgan's got a bona fide mental disorder that would explain her notorious behavior. It ain't chemicals or drink that's driving this doll up the walls—just like Britney's problemos were more brain-centered than everyone first thought. For real: Morgan insists there exists, somewhere in ultraluxurious, née looney, la-la land, a special private jet that takes celebs from L.A. to London in one hour. Swears.

Jeez, why isn't somebody helping this broad? She's screaming for aid, really. Nobody's listening.

Yay Readers

I feel like I am writing one of those Christmas letters that get sent out each year saying how perfect a family is and how they didn't have one argument or disagreement and that little Joe waked on water for the first time, and how proud the parents are. How everyone did not eat any junk food all year and spent 2,000 hours volunteering at inner city schools as mentors while Daddy Joe personally built 14 houses with his bare hands during the year, all while getting four raises at work and turning down sex with Reese Witherspoon.

So, in the past week, readers have been sending me things they are doing, and instead of just putting it in Your Turn which is great today btw, I thought I would do little bragging on them. Margarita has called this her 15 minutes of fame because she got a video and an article on Marvel.com. I just think it is hard work. Fashion and superheroes? Margarita has got you covered. I hijacked the video from Marvel, so everyone better click over to the site and read the accompanying article so that way they get their pound of flesh.



Then of course there is Alison who has been a reader forever and is on the show Britain's Got Talent as Diva Las Vegas. You can read all about her efforts here.

Let's see. Oh, our favorite original Spice Girl Lianne Morgan is back. She became a reader after I snarked her I think. I may have been nice, but I find that hard to believe. Anyway, now she keeps in touch. Constantly. She is starting a new tour and it kicks off at the Hard Rock Cafe in Cardiff in a few weeks. Let me know if you need tickets and I will bug her. If you want to listen to her new tunes or say hi, click here.

Curt, our reader from Tears For Fears is indeed taking all of your advice and having an album release party. Unfortunately, it is small. Very small. Therefore not everyone can come. BUT, I can get one reader and a guest in on June 10th here in LA, so let me know if you are interested in going. Curt will be doing some acoustic sets throughout the night.

No one got married this week although I know of at least a few readers who are due to give birth in the next several weeks and so hopefully they will share photos of the newborns. No actual birth photos please.

But Who Has The 10 To 8 Shift?

I'm a little confused. I know, I know, what's new? But this one really has me puzzled, and it could have been resolved with one simple question, which of course wasn't answered because Billy Bush is doing his very best Larry King impression in an effort to beat Ryan Seacrest to that gig when Larry's puppeteers finally thrown in the towel.

Marc Anthony was on The Billy Bush show yesterday and went on and on about how he and Jennifer Lopez don't have a nanny and are doing the whole raising of the twins themselves. I'm thinking to myself ok, they obviously don't have any money because I just don't see Jennifer doing anything that could possibly inconvenience her. Then of course I remembered that Marc is famous for lying his ass off, and so it all started to make sense, and he could have been caught in his lie if Billy had asked one simple question. Unfortunately if something isn't actually written down for Billy in advance that task is impossible.

Billy: How are you today?

Celeb: My father just passed away.

Billy: So are you excited about that new film you have coming out?

Celeb: This is really just a sad time for our family.

Billy: Any on set romances or crazy jokes on set?

Anyway, Marc said that he takes the 10pm to 8am shift every day. I have no problem believing that because he is half vampire. The only problem is he sucks his own blood which is why he looks so damn pale. So, why was Marc being interviewed? He's currently on tour for something or other and so the question that should have been asked is, so who has your shift while you are on tour, and Marc would have said, they have someone for while he is gone and for when they go out and for when Jennifer needs to go shopping and for when she needs a nap, but the person isn't a nanny. It's a babysitter.

Pete Wentz Is Right

Pete Wentz has had to defend his decision to lie his ass off about Ashlee Simpson being pregnant and refusing to confirm it. My feeling is that celebrities can lie all they want. Is it really any of our business if someone is getting married or divorced or has a boil on the side of their ass that looks like Nixon?

Of course not. Just like you wouldn't want your neighbors popping over to your house every morning asking if everything was ok in your relationship, celebrities don't have an obligation to provide the information. Everyone is all out of whack because Pete decided to take the lead on the pregnancy thing and keep it secret until after the first trimester. I fully support that decision, just on the grounds of good luck. The only thing I question was that he says he did it for the baby's health and that he didn't want Ashleee to have any stress about it.

It seems to me that she had much more stress than she would have if they had just confirmed it and got it over with in the first place. Second, if you don't want the news to leak, maybe you should not have shared it with anyone. Kind of ruins the whole bad luck thing. This is especially true when you share the news with Pimpa because as you are talking he is dialing and selling that information to someone.

Pam Anderson Sells Herself Again

Most of the time when a celebrity auctions off a date with themselves for charity, it is what they say it is, or less. A meet and greet, or quick lunch, or something where they can say they are doing something for charity, but where they don't actually have to pretend they are giving a s**t for long.

Well Pamela Anderson is auctioning off herself in Dubai for the Make A Wish foundation. We all know what happened last time she sold herself for money. She got married. Rick Saloman bought Pamela for $200,000 and got to have sex with her and she got married. She is another year older now, so the most she could hope for is about $6.50. Of course she is in Dubai, and they are flush with oil money now and some guy might need a 14th wife or something and so her price may shoot all the way up to $21.42 plus three camels.

I just can't believe there is anyone out there who would actually buy a date with her. I mean I know there are people who think she is the greatest thing since cheese in a pizza crust, but I think these people are the same people who think Baywatch was real and that The Hoff is a world famous singer.

Richard Reviews Matt & Kim

So when I got the invitation for a writer to review Wednesday night's Matt & Kim concert, I remembered how much everyone has loved the commentary of our reader Richard and knew he would be brutally honest, while at the same time hoplessly entertaining. What I got was something much more. Enjoy.


Lo-lee-ta. My sin, my soul. White Widowed Male – and I shall add middle-aged. When cancer left me a widower at the age of 36, grief lit the fuse that shot me into middle-age. Surf lessons; a tattoo; a week in Rio with a well-endowed blonde (both God given). Perhaps it was all a bit cliché, but nothing was injurious or illegal. I was chasing youth – my own. Was it a midlife crisis or, as I now see it, magical thinking to return me to that time when I first arrived in NYC as a student and anything was possible? Under a veil of concern for my well-being, friends expressed their disapproval of some of my choices.

Last night I climbed down from the ivory tower of academia and headed to Soho to hear Matt & Kim give a concert at the Black Swan Wine Bar. Kim plays drums; Matt plays keyboard. They live in Brooklyn . They write their own music. They travel around playing shows, having fun. It was an invite only little gig and I RSVP’d with a plus one. Then it hit me: I couldn’t ask any of my friends to go to this because they are looking for an excuse to do an intervention. Over the years I have established a double life and going to hear Matt & Kim would fall into the category of things I do not tell my friends I do. The fact that the Black Swan Wine Bar on Greene Street was just blocks from where I originally lived more than 20 years ago resonated with me. Sure, CBGB is now a John Varvatos shop, but that doesn’t mean that good, original music isn’t being created.

I left the office early, took a yoga class at the Soho Equinox and then wandered over to the event. I passed Burberry, APC, J. Crew, Vuitton, and every other retail establishment that chased out the community that made Soho, Soho . The changes in Soho over the past 20 years paralleled the changes in my own life. How much more of a sign do you need that this isn’t for you. You no longer are the poor student crashing who used to crash gallery openings for free food. Hail a cab now and you’ll be home in time to watch Countdown with Keith Olbermann

I circled around the block and got in line outside the venue. The guy behind me was complaining that his roommate’s girlfriend has been eating his food and deliberately smoking in the apartment which she knew was against the rules that he and his roommate established. I’m having issues with my coop board because there is a ‘no bicycle in the passenger elevator’ rule, so, you know, my life isn’t that different from that of the others attending this concert. Aren’t we all just fighting the MAN?!?! Okay, even I can’t say that with a straight face.

Entry into the club goes smoothly. I am immediately greeted by a waiter with a tray of sushi. I make my way toward the bar and state my preference for the Black Swan red. People keep pouring through the door. They are all young – very young. Most of the men have facial hair. There is a subgroup of the facial hair guys wearing trucker hats. The women have tattoos and funky glasses. Their style of dress tends to fall into one of 2 categories: plaid button front shirts or sleeveless t-shirts that allows the tattoos and bra straps to be prominently displayed. I move toward the back by the DJ and watch my fellow revelers dance. They are fluid and free, dancing in groups without defined pairings. Suddenly I feel old and lecherous.

I take out my camera and one of the plaid shirt wearing women sees what I am doing. She stops dancing and pulls one of the guys from the group next to her. Have I crossed a line? Am I being too prurient? They both flash me a big smile and wave. I begin talking with the woman next me about Matt and Kim. She saw them last summer and then a couple of months ago in Brooklyn . Yeah, she’s a fan. She says their music is good: it’s fun. I realized that was the vibe in the room: fun. Yes, there was free flowing wine but that wasn’t what was fueling this event.

About an hour and a half into the event Matt and Kim took the stage and began to play. The crowd started singing along and dancing and I was immediately sucked in. Kim’s drumming provided a driving energy that is honest and earthy. Matt was jamming on the keyboard. They were up there having a good time and clearly loving what they were doing. You couldn’t help but be swept up in the fun. Remember those days of dancing to Rock Lobster (before your tin roof rusted) or a bit later to REM’s End of the World and shouting ‘Leonard Bernstein’ at the top of your lungs. That is what it felt like at the Matt and Kim concert last night.
Go to their website and buy a tune. Listen to it while you are on the elliptical machine and have fun. Better yet, introduce your kids to the music of Matt and Kim and check out their touring schedule to see if you can catch a concert. I don’t delude myself into thinking that I can pass as a 20 something hipster. For a half an hour last night I allowed myself to get lost in the music and to have fun. Matt and Kim poured their heart and soul into the performance and the audience took it in and gave it back to them.

Today I’ll take the LIRR to Southampton for a weekend get-away that Manhattanites of a certain age and professional standing aspire to. The weekend will be nice; it will be relaxing; it will be what is expected of me so that my friends do not worry. One weekend I’ll slip a Matt and Kim song in the mix during a barbeque and watch my friends respond. I know some of them will get into it and ask for the name of the group. The others, well, I may need to rethink our friendship.

Well That Is One Way To Get Them Out

Do you remember a month or so ago I wrote about 50 Cent and how he was trying to kick his baby mama Shaniqua Tompkins out of the house he allegedly bought her and how he wants her and the kids to move back to the projects? Well, I don't remember the projects part either, but he wasn't going to give her any money and kick her out.

Well, now, things have taken a turn for the worse. I'm guessing 50 woke up in a bad mood or he and Jessica had a fight or he found out he wasn't that baby daddy. Who knows? And who knows if 50 was even involved, but Shaniqua and five other people were awakened this morning at around 5am by a fire that destroyed the $1.4M house. All six people who were in the house were taken to a nearby hospital to be treated for smoke inhalation.

The firefighters are calling the fire suspicious. Well, I know it wasn't Shaniqua who did it because she has no motive. 50 Cent is not a suspect at this point. He might not be a suspect, but all I'm saying is that this is very strange timing. Now 50 doesn't have to worry about the eviction does he? Will 50 step up and find her a new house, or will he not pick up the phone when she calls.

Ted C. Blind Item

Remember Furrowed Frank, the big TV figure who has a straight trainer whom he sends out to hunt for bedtime playmates at the gym where they both train? Sure ya do! Only because the heartless fagola lothario is so predictably dude about it all, and not only does he not bother to secure his own ass assignations (thinks he'll be too recognized, as if F.F. standing by drooling while the deal's going down isn't obvs enough), he ditches the poor guys right after he's had his way with them.

Why are men—both gay and het—so damn unconcerned with their partner's feelings, huh? Were we all kicked as children, or something? Regardless, F.F. and his muscled accomplice continue right along with their disposable mattress machinations, blithely unaware the A.T. is totally on to them. Or not?

Went to a snot-butt din-din party the other night, and who would be seated across from me other than F2's prime purveyor of all things manly and clandestine—yes, the trainer himself. And said pro pumper is either one smart deltoid dude, or he's as dumb as Lindsay Lohan's current life coach. 'Cause, how can I put this? Let's just say I was given the opportunity, if I cared to, to take a turn on F2's casting bench.

I demurred. After all, I'm married now...otherwise?

Today's Blind Items

#1 - This B- list television (hit network show) and film (top ten film 3 different years) has turned into a bit of an obsessive compulsive. He has always had little quirks and superstitions, but now his habits are starting to change his life in a negative way. He hates going anywhere now, and when he does it is a process that can take up to an hour. For some reason, when he arrives where he is going he is fine, but it is the leaving the house that just gets longer and longer.

#2 - Speaking of obsessiveness, this former film A lister with the really bad hair issues and now a comfortable B has changed the entire carpeting in his house five times over the past year. He is single handedly keeping a store in business. Seems that he has to like the way the carpet feels on his bare feet. The store has offered to provide him samples, but our whacked out actor insists that the carpet has to be in the house and in its place for him to get a true sense of its feel. Uh huh. Maybe he should just wear slippers. Total cost this year has been about $175,000 on carpeting, installation, removal and labor.

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

Anna Faris makes it to the top of the photos. Yes, I like her, but she made it through hard work, effort, and because I was lazy and her name begins with an A.
Anderson Cooper decides to take advantage of California's gay marriage law by announcing that he and Elmo will be getting married June 17 and thereby making their relationship official.
Bowling For Soup - Los Angeles

Whatever I think about Bryan Adams personally, I will say that he is a hell of a photographer. I mean, he made Amy Winehouse look good.
Guess Ben Affleck decided that the wedding ring was too heavy for his finger.
I'm sorry Ali, I don't know how you ended up way down here. It won't happen again, and dare I say you look lovely.
Adrian Grenier looks lovely as well now that his beard is gone.
At least David Arquette's shoes match the jacket.

David Archuleta - New York
It's Mrs. Garrett!!!!
The absolutely hilarious Chelsea Handler.
Christina Aguilera rocking the vote. Who thinks that the stars that do these spots actually vote?

How often do you suppose Gary Busey calls Jake?

Jenna she used to be Bush on her honeymoon. Is dude pouting already? He needs to get over it if they are going to make it longer than a year or two.
Emmanuelle Chriqui is probably my favorite actress right now. Of course that could just be the dress making me think that.
The Hoff, and are those satin pants?
David Cook - New York
Keanu Reeves makes the crosswalk a runway.

You know if Kevin James made $12 an hour his wife would never let him go out of those house wearing that. I think the rules somehow change though when you make $12M a film, and the wife suddenly says it looks fabulous?
I hope they played some music. From L-R, Juanes, Youssou N'Dour, Bono and MISHA.
And Jackie Sandler tells the world that she is not carrying Adam Sandler's baby, but has instead been knocked up by David Spade.
Is this the first time Jamie Pressly's son has been in the photos? Is he really a year old? Damn that was fast.

Seann William Scott and Jenna Fischer?

How about Steve Conrad and Jenna Fischer? Look at her checking that arm to see if he works out.
Moby - New York
How I have missed seeing Lucy Lawless all the time. She looks great.
Who doesn't love Lainie Kazan?
The last thing this world needs is a reason for Pink's to get more backed up. Just because this is Tori's first experience seeing anything over two inches should not shut down the production of the hot dogs.

A first timer to the photos, Thomas Ian Nichols.
Suze Orman is my friend late at night on the weekends. Thanks Suze. Just do me one favor. Please stop referring to everyone as girlfriend. Thank you.
Our reader is the woman at lower right. Obviously a Jimmy Buffet fan. I say that, but honestly, they could have just graduated from balloon making school.
One of the top ten sweetest people in the world is Megyn Price.