Full Frontal Friday, the I Am In a Hurry Edition. As always, if you are over the age of 18, have your own office or are at home, by all means, click here.
Friday, May 30, 2008
#1 - Know that show about teenagers in NY? Yes that one. Which one of the cuties on the show is going to be spending much of the time in between seasons in a little place we like to call rehab?
#2 - Famous author. Writes legal thrillers. Married. Having an affair with entertainment reporter who interviewed the author.
#3 - B list actress on hit network medical show. Holding out for a pay raise for next season even though on a contract. Reason? Owes too much money to her dealer. Will die if there is a strike by SAG.
#4 - This B list actor who has been on several HIT shows his cheating on his wife with a former co-star.
So can you believe that Big Boi and
The one and only Danny Glover.
Chace Crawford shows off his oral skills while the girl shows she's a biter. Learn from Chace sweetie.
The always popular Andrew Keegan. Thin. No?
Joe Jackson - Perth
"I'm going to need you to put more photos of me up on Saturday."
Donna Summer - New York
A first time appearance for Dash Mihok.
Rashida Jones better have picked me up one of everything at the swag suites or she is going to the bottom of Random Photos permanently. Not off mind you. No, I am way too forgiving for that. It's why my ex-wives always cheated on me. That and I'm obese.
Leighton Meester and Michelle Trachtenberg. Nothing to say. I guess it just kind of expected that as a gossip site you are supposed to put them up. Don't know why really.
You have got to be f**king kidding me.
Jojo is another first timer.
Usher - New York
Steve Guttenberg apparently is stuck back in the 80's when he was popular. Is that a Members Only jacket?
Our reader photo of the day. No, not the blue one. The other one. No, not the half hidden security guard. The woman in the middle. Yes. See her now? Good.
Everyday is a good day when you see Rex Lee. "Lloyd!"
So, I thought today that I would share some of my favorite lines from films. There are obviously lots more, and some I couldn't find, but this will give you a great start. When I could find a clip, or a link to a clip, I provided it, otherwise, I have given you just the line.
First up is a great line from Better Off Dead
As I have mentioned previously, one of my favorite lines of all time from Vacation.
You have to go about 10 seconds in on this clip to see this line from Mr. Mom
Chief Karlin: What do you do for a living, Mr. Fletch?
Fletch: I'm a shepherd.
This is from Boiler Room. I found the clip, but it is 8 minutes long, so just left in the one line I love.
Jim Young: Anybody who tells you money is the root of all evil doesn't fucking have any.
Loki: Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, outside of soccer.
A great clip from Sixteen Candles
Fast Times At Ridgemont High
Mike Damone: I came over to help you out with your math homework. I figured you could use it on such a hot day...
Navin: It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child.
Matilda: I became...
Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?
Marcie Dahlgren-Frost: Marcie Dahlgren-Frost. Dahlgren is my maiden name, Frost is my married name. I'm single again, but I never bothered to remove the frost. And I get compliments on the hyphen.
Gus: Your husband ain't dead, lady, he's hiding.
Morgan Mayhem is up to her old tricks. Well, I guess they can't really be considered old if she never stopped doing them?
Ms. May has a load of talents, but her best (and most often used) one is alienating her amigos. One of the buds she's burned as of late is the brother of one of her former flames, Dare to Do Me, the cute eye candy from a band still pretty popular on the charts. M2 is still psycho for the rocker she's shared several rendezvous romps with in the past, but D.D.'s moved on to focus on his music, good boy. Morg still keeps Dare's bro around, prolly as a resource if the fella ever wants to play with this par-tick groupie again.
Morgy is prone to wrestling up some wacky stuff to put her so-called friends through. She'll call the dreamy Do Me's brother up on a random weekday, claming she just bought them both plane tickets to Europe for that very day. If that wasn't spontaneous and silly enough, Do Me 2 will pick May-babe up and drive her to the airport, only to find out there's no ticket for him. Girl just straight up lies. Can you imagine that in Los Angeles? Oh, you shouldn't treat pals like that, M2, especially when they're related to amours you may want to snag back once you're finished with your current, more curious, conquests.
But listen up: Maybe it's not all drugs, dudes and rock 'n' roll with Mayhem, after all. Close buds swears Morgan's got a bona fide mental disorder that would explain her notorious behavior. It ain't chemicals or drink that's driving this doll up the walls—just like Britney's problemos were more brain-centered than everyone first thought. For real: Morgan insists there exists, somewhere in ultraluxurious, née looney, la-la land, a special private jet that takes celebs from L.A. to London in one hour. Swears.
Jeez, why isn't somebody helping this broad? She's screaming for aid, really. Nobody's listening.
I feel like I am writing one of those Christmas letters that get sent out each year saying how perfect a family is and how they didn't have one argument or disagreement and that little Joe waked on water for the first time, and how proud the parents are. How everyone did not eat any junk food all year and spent 2,000 hours volunteering at inner city schools as mentors while Daddy Joe personally built 14 houses with his bare hands during the year, all while getting four raises at work and turning down sex with Reese Witherspoon.
So, in the past week, readers have been sending me things they are doing, and instead of just putting it in Your Turn which is great today btw, I thought I would do little bragging on them. Margarita has called this her 15 minutes of fame because she got a video and an article on Marvel.com. I just think it is hard work. Fashion and superheroes? Margarita has got you covered. I hijacked the video from Marvel, so everyone better click over to the site and read the accompanying article so that way they get their pound of flesh.
Then of course there is Alison who has been a reader forever and is on the show Britain's Got Talent as Diva Las Vegas. You can read all about her efforts here.
Let's see. Oh, our favorite original Spice Girl Lianne Morgan is back. She became a reader after I snarked her I think. I may have been nice, but I find that hard to believe. Anyway, now she keeps in touch. Constantly. She is starting a new tour and it kicks off at the Hard Rock Cafe in Cardiff in a few weeks. Let me know if you need tickets and I will bug her. If you want to listen to her new tunes or say hi, click here.
Curt, our reader from Tears For Fears is indeed taking all of your advice and having an album release party. Unfortunately, it is small. Very small. Therefore not everyone can come. BUT, I can get one reader and a guest in on June 10th here in LA, so let me know if you are interested in going. Curt will be doing some acoustic sets throughout the night.
No one got married this week although I know of at least a few readers who are due to give birth in the next several weeks and so hopefully they will share photos of the newborns. No actual birth photos please.
Lo-lee-ta. My sin, my soul. White Widowed Male – and I shall add middle-aged. When cancer left me a widower at the age of 36, grief lit the fuse that shot me into middle-age. Surf lessons; a tattoo; a week in Rio with a well-endowed blonde (both God given). Perhaps it was all a bit cliché, but nothing was injurious or illegal. I was chasing youth – my own. Was it a midlife crisis or, as I now see it, magical thinking to return me to that time when I first arrived in NYC as a student and anything was possible? Under a veil of concern for my well-being, friends expressed their disapproval of some of my choices.
Last night I climbed down from the ivory tower of academia and headed to Soho to hear Matt & Kim give a concert at the Black Swan Wine Bar. Kim plays drums; Matt plays keyboard. They live in Brooklyn . They write their own music. They travel around playing shows, having fun. It was an invite only little gig and I RSVP’d with a plus one. Then it hit me: I couldn’t ask any of my friends to go to this because they are looking for an excuse to do an intervention. Over the years I have established a double life and going to hear Matt & Kim would fall into the category of things I do not tell my friends I do. The fact that the Black Swan Wine Bar on Greene Street was just blocks from where I originally lived more than 20 years ago resonated with me. Sure, CBGB is now a John Varvatos shop, but that doesn’t mean that good, original music isn’t being created.
I left the office early, took a yoga class at the Soho Equinox and then wandered over to the event. I passed Burberry, APC, J. Crew, Vuitton, and every other retail establishment that chased out the community that made Soho, Soho . The changes in Soho over the past 20 years paralleled the changes in my own life. How much more of a sign do you need that this isn’t for you. You no longer are the poor student crashing who used to crash gallery openings for free food. Hail a cab now and you’ll be home in time to watch Countdown with Keith Olbermann
I circled around the block and got in line outside the venue. The guy behind me was complaining that his roommate’s girlfriend has been eating his food and deliberately smoking in the apartment which she knew was against the rules that he and his roommate established. I’m having issues with my coop board because there is a ‘no bicycle in the passenger elevator’ rule, so, you know, my life isn’t that different from that of the others attending this concert. Aren’t we all just fighting the MAN?!?! Okay, even I can’t say that with a straight face.
Entry into the club goes smoothly. I am immediately greeted by a waiter with a tray of sushi. I make my way toward the bar and state my preference for the Black Swan red. People keep pouring through the door. They are all young – very young. Most of the men have facial hair. There is a subgroup of the facial hair guys wearing trucker hats. The women have tattoos and funky glasses. Their style of dress tends to fall into one of 2 categories: plaid button front shirts or sleeveless t-shirts that allows the tattoos and bra straps to be prominently displayed. I move toward the back by the DJ and watch my fellow revelers dance. They are fluid and free, dancing in groups without defined pairings. Suddenly I feel old and lecherous.
I take out my camera and one of the plaid shirt wearing women sees what I am doing. She stops dancing and pulls one of the guys from the group next to her. Have I crossed a line? Am I being too prurient? They both flash me a big smile and wave. I begin talking with the woman next me about Matt and Kim. She saw them last summer and then a couple of months ago in Brooklyn . Yeah, she’s a fan. She says their music is good: it’s fun. I realized that was the vibe in the room: fun. Yes, there was free flowing wine but that wasn’t what was fueling this event.
About an hour and a half into the event Matt and Kim took the stage and began to play. The crowd started singing along and dancing and I was immediately sucked in. Kim’s drumming provided a driving energy that is honest and earthy. Matt was jamming on the keyboard. They were up there having a good time and clearly loving what they were doing. You couldn’t help but be swept up in the fun. Remember those days of dancing to Rock Lobster (before your tin roof rusted) or a bit later to REM’s End of the World and shouting ‘Leonard Bernstein’ at the top of your lungs. That is what it felt like at the Matt and Kim concert last night.
Go to their website and buy a tune. Listen to it while you are on the elliptical machine and have fun. Better yet, introduce your kids to the music of Matt and Kim and check out their touring schedule to see if you can catch a concert. I don’t delude myself into thinking that I can pass as a 20 something hipster. For a half an hour last night I allowed myself to get lost in the music and to have fun. Matt and Kim poured their heart and soul into the performance and the audience took it in and gave it back to them.
Today I’ll take the LIRR to Southampton for a weekend get-away that Manhattanites of a certain age and professional standing aspire to. The weekend will be nice; it will be relaxing; it will be what is expected of me so that my friends do not worry. One weekend I’ll slip a Matt and Kim song in the mix during a barbeque and watch my friends respond. I know some of them will get into it and ask for the name of the group. The others, well, I may need to rethink our friendship.
Remember Furrowed Frank, the big TV figure who has a straight trainer whom he sends out to hunt for bedtime playmates at the gym where they both train? Sure ya do! Only because the heartless fagola lothario is so predictably dude about it all, and not only does he not bother to secure his own ass assignations (thinks he'll be too recognized, as if F.F. standing by drooling while the deal's going down isn't obvs enough), he ditches the poor guys right after he's had his way with them.
Why are men—both gay and het—so damn unconcerned with their partner's feelings, huh? Were we all kicked as children, or something? Regardless, F.F. and his muscled accomplice continue right along with their disposable mattress machinations, blithely unaware the A.T. is totally on to them. Or not?
Went to a snot-butt din-din party the other night, and who would be seated across from me other than F2's prime purveyor of all things manly and clandestine—yes, the trainer himself. And said pro pumper is either one smart deltoid dude, or he's as dumb as Lindsay Lohan's current life coach. 'Cause, how can I put this? Let's just say I was given the opportunity, if I cared to, to take a turn on F2's casting bench.
I demurred. After all, I'm married now...otherwise?
Thursday, May 29, 2008
#1 - This B- list television (hit network show) and film (top ten film 3 different years) has turned into a bit of an obsessive compulsive. He has always had little quirks and superstitions, but now his habits are starting to change his life in a negative way. He hates going anywhere now, and when he does it is a process that can take up to an hour. For some reason, when he arrives where he is going he is fine, but it is the leaving the house that just gets longer and longer.
#2 - Speaking of obsessiveness, this former film A lister with the really bad hair issues and now a comfortable B has changed the entire carpeting in his house five times over the past year. He is single handedly keeping a store in business. Seems that he has to like the way the carpet feels on his bare feet. The store has offered to provide him samples, but our whacked out actor insists that the carpet has to be in the house and in its place for him to get a true sense of its feel. Uh huh. Maybe he should just wear slippers. Total cost this year has been about $175,000 on carpeting, installation, removal and labor.
Anna Faris makes it to the top of the photos. Yes, I like her, but she made it through hard work, effort, and because I was lazy and her name begins with an A.
Anderson Cooper decides to take advantage of California's gay marriage law by announcing that he and Elmo will be getting married June 17 and thereby making their relationship official.
Bowling For Soup - Los Angeles
Guess Ben Affleck decided that the wedding ring was too heavy for his finger.
I'm sorry Ali, I don't know how you ended up way down here. It won't happen again, and dare I say you look lovely.
Adrian Grenier looks lovely as well now that his beard is gone.
At least David Arquette's shoes match the jacket.
It's Mrs. Garrett!!!!
The absolutely hilarious Chelsea Handler.
Christina Aguilera rocking the vote. Who thinks that the stars that do these spots actually vote?
How often do you suppose Gary Busey calls Jake?
Emmanuelle Chriqui is probably my favorite actress right now. Of course that could just be the dress making me think that.
The Hoff, and are those satin pants?
David Cook - New York
Keanu Reeves makes the crosswalk a runway.
I hope they played some music. From L-R, Juanes, Youssou N'Dour, Bono and MISHA.
And Jackie Sandler tells the world that she is not carrying Adam Sandler's baby, but has instead been knocked up by David Spade.
Is this the first time Jamie Pressly's son has been in the photos? Is he really a year old? Damn that was fast.
Seann William Scott and Jenna Fischer?
Moby - New York
How I have missed seeing Lucy Lawless all the time. She looks great.
Who doesn't love Lainie Kazan?
The last thing this world needs is a reason for Pink's to get more backed up. Just because this is Tori's first experience seeing anything over two inches should not shut down the production of the hot dogs.
Suze Orman is my friend late at night on the weekends. Thanks Suze. Just do me one favor. Please stop referring to everyone as girlfriend. Thank you.
Our reader is the woman at lower right. Obviously a Jimmy Buffet fan. I say that, but honestly, they could have just graduated from balloon making school.
One of the top ten sweetest people in the world is Megyn Price.