Full Frontal Friday

Yeah, yeah. Don't get all excited. It is just ass. It is the same shot I have had before within CDAN, but just thought I would put it in FFF as well. There is a photo of a George Clooney relative. Oh, and speaking of relatives how about a father and son. As always, if you are under the legal viewing age, don't worry, it will still be here when you turn 18. Click here for the peen.

Four For Friday

#1 - What foreign born actor who is a regular on a hit network drama and is filming a top popcorn flick right now uses a social networking site to hit on underage females?

#2 - Has anyone else noticed how this A list actor spends as much time apart from his C list girlfriend as possible. Sure they take photos together and they definitely do have a relationship, but it doesn't change the fact that he would rather spend time with his male significant other. (Not Jake G)

#3 - This walk on actress wanted to be on another episode of a hit cable drama. She took her case to the male stars of the show and asked for their help. She got another episode, but only after she took on three of the stars simultaneously. To their credit, a few of the stars said no and didn't take part.

#4 - This A list director and his B list female star took up right where they left off from their last set romance. I'm sure her boyfriend will be thrilled.

Your Turn

I had something all planned for Your Turn and then I read a comment from someone in yesterday's Random Photos about them being undressed visually by Margaret Cho. Kinda. Then I did the whole Clint Eastwood post and it reminded me of something. So, I thought to myself everyone has at least one good celebrity story. You know, the one you always tell at parties or wish you had told so people would invite you back.

So, this one was a few years ago. I think Clint wasn't mayor of Carmel anymore, but it was not too long after that. I was attending a wedding which was not one of my own for a change in the area and decided I wanted to play golf at Pebble Beach. Thought I was going to need a miracle to play. No tee time so I decided to start calling people. Didn't work. I did however show up and there was a last minute cancellation so the whole asking for favors and pulling the do you know who I represent thing wasn't necessary.

It is really early in the morning. Like 6am after a bachelor party the night before. I'm a little hungover, but not going to miss this chance. I'm just kind of resting on my bag, taking a nap while waiting to start when behind me comes the voice.

"Had a long night did you?" Clint Eastwood at 6am on a hangover. Fun. Oh, but it gets better. For the next four hours I was in Clint's group and I was basically his whipping boy.

Every bad shot I hit was commented on by Clint. It was because I had a lazy swing or I was out of shape or hungover or liberal or conservative. Just went on and on. I know he was just having fun with me, but still, after four hours it is a bit grating.

At the end of it all he did shake my hand and said he hoped we would play again. Sorry Clint. That isn't going to happen.

OK, so that story was kind of long. It could be much shorter, like this one from a few weeks ago.

Me: Hi, what's your name?
Josie: Josie.
Me: You look really familiar.
Josie:Well, I used to be on Charles In Charge.
Me: Oh, you were the plain one. Damn you are hot as hell now.
Josie:Uh, yeah. Nice meeting you

See, very simple.

I also thought I would give a plug to some reader blogs that I enjoy.

Trix has a great one going with winnersusedrugs.com and her vintage porn. Nice. Seriously. Vintage porn is really fun to look at.

Jax has the funniest picture of a half naked fat guy on her site that will make you die laughing. jaxsaid.blogspot.com

Another reader site that cracks me up is gidgetgormley.com and one that scares me because I know she reads the site every day is thegrammarvandal.com

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

Betty White starts us off today. This is the most amazing woman ever. I saw today that Golden Girls is being honored at the TV Land Awards this year which is well deserved. If you have not seen Betty White on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, you need to go to YouTube and just start watching. Incredibly funny.
Hockey players are always welcome here in the photos. This time it is Brendan Shanahan.
I watched Little Miss Sunshine again the other night so when I saw that Abigail Breslin was in the news today and already exploiting her fame for money like a good actress I just had to throw her in here.
The most common side effects of VIAGRA are headache, facial flushing, and upset stomach. I think Jimmy Fallon will read the label next time.

Breathtaking. Have I used that word lately? Well Iman is certainly that and more.
I always give Tom Cruise crap for wearing his My Three Sons type clothes to the park, and he deserves it. Gwen Stefani isn't exactly dressed for the park, but somehow it just seems natural on her and so it is right. The hair on the kid isn't even close to right though.
Debra Messing on the set of her new television show.
Chris Brown - New York

Kellie Pickler - Nashville

I'm guessing Kimora Lee Simmons is trying to be sexy with this look. I don't see the sexiness, but what I do see is lovely chocolate goodness that is going to waste because you know she isn't going to eat it.
The official press materials for Jessica Simpson now refer to her as, get this. Wait for it. A musician and singer with musician listed first. Playing the triangle like a Partridge doesn't count and it kind of sucks to actual musicians who can actually play an instrument that she is calling herself that.
Julia Roberts headed in to see Dave. Ten years ago when she would go on Dave there really was not better television. She was the perfect guest for that show.
Ja Rule & Ashanti - New York

Sometimes the Princess seems so lifelike. How do they do that?

I had no idea who Martha Higareda was until I looked her up. I just put her in here because there are not too many photos today, and hey, she is on a magazine cover and I love obscurity. Turns out though she was in a film with a friend of mine.
And look. She has a fan.
Lykke Li - London
By request here is Luke Bryan.

I have had them both separately. Not actually had mind you in the sense of having as in naked and sweating, but had as in I have had them both in the photos this week, but not together. It seems like it is actually kind of rare when they do take a photo together. Amy Poehler looks great as usual and Will Arnett always has that look like he knows something we don't, which is probably true.

The looks like a Herbal Essences commercial photo of the day.
The Jonas Brothers - London
Our lovely reader photo of the day.
They didn't walk the red carpet together, but the worst kept secret of celebrity coupledom did finally allow themselves to be photographed together. Abbie Cornish looks so different with the dark hair and Ryan looks like Ryan. Does Abbie look pregnant to anyone other than me?

Shania Twain Makes Me Ill

Most of the time when a woman gets cheated on by a guy the whole world immediately feels for the woman and the guy is the scum of the earth. Shania Twain must be wondering what in her publicity hatched scheme is going wrong with her version of the wife betrayed. No one seems to care, and everyone seems to think that if is true, that Mutt should have probably done it years ago.

So, with the world not joining her misery and certainly seeing no spike in album sales, Shania speaks. Surprisingly she didn't speak to Kneepads, although they did quote everything she said on her website like it was engraved on stone tablets. As far as I know, Kneepads is the only magazine that printed it.

The long and short of it is that Shania knows that you know that she has been going through a rough time and that she would not be able to get through it without the e-mails and letters and words of encouragement from all her fans. I would guess that she hasn't read a damn thing from anyone except her manager, agent and publicist. It is such a crock.

She says that she is only going to speak in the future through her music which she wants to share with all of us. You can translate that to mean she wants you to pony up $20 to hear her warble about her pain and agony. Lucky for us. If you want to see the full extent of her words, and see the magic of airbrushing on her site, then click here.

Tatum O'Neal Day 5

I don't know how I can do it. I don't know how the French blogger did it. Each day blogging about Tatum O'Neal. You would think it would be easy to write about someone every day. I mean there are people who write about one person for years on end like the President of a country. So, what is so hard about it? Well, Tatum isn't very newsworthy on a regular basis. You kind of have to dig.

So, in order to keep the streak alive I made phone calls and asked around and found out that Tatum doesn't like pepperoni on her pizza. Is she a vegetarian? I could work with that. The person didn't know if she was a vegetarian, just that she was allergic or something when it came to pepperoni. This must have been really difficult for her at the local crack house when ordering pizza.

"Make mine without pepperoni" comes the cry from the rear of the house.

"Who was that?"

"You know, the chick that always brings her gold statue here with her."

Pepperoni wasn't going to be enough. The French were going to win and then I saw this little tidbit I had never seen before. Oh, I knew about the dad and Melanie thing, but this one I had never seen before. When Tatum was 12, Melanie Griffith, then 17, decided that Tatum needed some education on sex and all the different kinds of sex to be had. Instead of going to the library, Melanie took Tatum to an orgy where she made Tatum watch Melanie get it on with a variety of people as well as having Tatum watch others.

To make this little field trip even more special was the fact that people were smoking opium like cigarettes. The record is quiet on whether Tatum just watched or did more at this orgy, but it sure does explain a bunch about how she became what she did. I think she has actually done pretty well for herself all things considered.

Good luck Tatum.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which Wag has banned her fella from going on holiday - for fear he will cheat?

The leggy babe in question has been stung before...

I'm Not Surprised He Was Interested

T.R. Knight has been giving a bunch of interviews over the past few weeks in advance of the first legal gay wedding ceremony here in California. At one point one of the questions was about his new boyfriend Mark Cornelson who if my math is correct is about 16 years younger than TR. Let's see. 35 - 19 = 16. Yep, which means that T.R. was driving when Mark was born. Cool.

I am okay with age differences, but think about this. You are in the hospital and you are 16 or 17 years old and you see an infant that has just been born, and say, "I'll see you in about 18 years." Kind of sick when you think about it like that.

Anyway, T.R. said yesterday that he was surprised his boyfriend was interested in him, especially given the age difference. Now, under normal circumstances this would probably be true, but T.R. is an actor, on a hit show, makes a decent living to say the least, and so perhaps Mark felt just a little more warm and fuzzy about the whole thing compared to if T.R., had been say a ditch digger.

Gay relationships or straight relationships, money and celebrity talk. I think what T.R. should be surprised about is if the relationship continues after the show and the huge paychecks stop. That to me would be a surprise. Again, as always I could be wrong and they could live a long and happy life together. You just know that Mark is counting down the days until marriage is legal so he can get himself half. Maybe. It could just be love.

Clint 1 - Spike 0

There are not many instances where I just provide a link and tell you to read the article, but in this case, you have to read the entire article to see what's what in this. If you would like the CDAN summary though, it goes like this. Spike Lee had a press conference in Cannes where he decided to play the race card with a number of directors including Clint Eastwood about how they did not include enough African Americans. Clint Eastwood basically told Spike that Spike was full of s**t.

This is not the first time Clint and Spike have got into a race fight. They previously disagreed on the Charlie Parker biopic when Spike felt it should have been directed by someone other than a white guy. I love Spike Lee films. I just think that sometimes people do too much provoking in an attempt to get a reaction, and not enough thinking about what the result of that provocation will be. Spike wants more minorities in films. Cool. So do I. The problem is that he chose the wrong films to argue his point and so then he looks like an idiot and the problem does not move any further towards a solution.

Read the article. Judge for yourself.

Mrs. Cunningham And Whores

I didn't really ever think I would talk about Marion Ross aka Mrs. Cunningham from Happy Days and whores in the same sentence, but it's a Friday and it's the summer time and so I can make allowances. Kind of like how the dress code at work loosens up on Fridays, especially in the summer to the point where by about mid-August people are coming to work in the same clothes they wore to the beach or the pool the day before. Then when Labor Day hits, the boss comes to his senses and everyone has to go back to conformity. Sucks doesn't it?

Well thank goodness for Marion Ross. She is like a breath of fresh air surrounded by Ben Gay. In an interview she gave for her latest film, she was asked what she thought about the new crop of celebrities. First Marion regaled us with stories of her celebrity heroes like Ingrid Bergman. Nice. OK, got Ingrid Bergman in your mind? Cool, lets continue.

"Now the model for young Hollywood is about dressing like a little whore. It’s tough. It’s sad. Don’t these people think about the future? Don’t they plan out a whole life? Even at my age, I’m planning my life."

Can I get an Amen? I will never watch Happy Days the same way again.

A Lindsay Lohan Bathroom Sex Story - With A Guy

I thought about using all kinds of funny headlines for this story, but then I realized that a nice straight forward tell it like it is headline would work even better. The problem is now it is not so simple because I have to clarify if it is with a guy or girl, or if she gets low enough on cash perhaps then she would be involved in one of those shows I have heard about down in Mexico or the Netherlands, or you know, other place. Not that I would actually visit any of those shows. OK, one time, maybe two.

Anyway, to get back to Lindsay having sex in a bathroom stall. Lets just say that she is now two degrees of separation from having sex with Bobby Brown or Whitney Houston. Yep. Lindsay and Bobby's son Landon got it on in a nightclub bathroom. And get this. He wants more of Lindsay but somehow can't get in touch.

This is all from The Enquirer by the way.

"Me and Lindsay got really, really close. She followed me to the bathroom during a private party, and, well, we basically got together.

I think she knew who I was when she first saw me. We were just staring at each other and she walked by. I walked into the bathroom and she followed me in."

He added: "It didn't end badly, but it did end weird. I'm actually trying to get back in touch with her - really soon."

Have you seen Landon Brown? Good looking guy and to me looks nothing like Bobby. I know the kid wants to be famous and all, but I'm guessing Lindsay didn't so much as recognize him as just thought he would make for the best f**k she was going to find that hour.

DNfromMN - Movie Review - Kung Fu Panda

KUNG FU PANDA
Release Date 6/6/08

The Story: Fat misfit is chosen by destiny to beat the big bad. AKA: Shrek in China or every Jack Black movie.

YAWN! I’m sure kids will love this movie. It has an underdog hero who is likable, self-deprecating, and uses his belly as an attack move.

I’m just tired of Jack Black’s shtick. I’m sick of the fat kid surpasses all despite suffering through all the jokes and pokes at his butt. I get the message, and I agree with it, but there has to be another way to tell this story. Oh, this one is in China using a Kung-fu fighting panda instead of Mexican wrestling. I had the same issue with Made of Honor; just because you changed your 3 required things in order to make it different enough from My Best Friend’s Wedding to not get sued, doesn’t make it a new movie.

This is a movie aimed at kids, with no winks to mom and dad. Shrek at least gave adults a few jokes to laugh at. Ratatouille was made for adults, but brought down a notch to let kids enjoy it. Toy Story brought out the nostalgia for our childhood and it was really about growing up.

I laughed maybe 3 times during KFP. I heard a few more laughs from the kids around me, but not many. There was applause, but no cheering; no one saying, ‘When can we see this again?’ It’s a mediocre movie. There was a lot of movement in the theater, which means the kids were restless and not fully engrossed.

There were two sequences that were well done. The major panda training was fun to watch. The rope bridge fight was also put together really well. Everything else, ho-hum.

What it’s Worth: If you have kids, I’m sorry: you’re going, there’s no choice. But definitely go during the day/during the week when it’s cheaper. I’m giving this a $2.50: it’s mediocre, you won’t feel it’s a complete waste of time, but you won’t leave wondering if the DVD will be out in time for December holidays (don’t worry, it will, and someone will buy it for your kid).

Ted C Blind Item

Pork-Me Pop-Off, a veritable newbie to the barracuda-infested world of boldface names and gossip slinging, is poised to overtake his more famous sibling, Slurpa, an expert at infamy and clandestine canoodling. Only Pork-Me doesn’t really realize the dubious media powers he holds, how naïve...how very sweet!

See, Pork-Me, has had his troubles, too, just like Slurpa. He loves to be bad and lives to be loved, having never really been truly adored. And of course, it’s P.M.’s bad-boy ways that have begun to scratch and gnaw at Ms. Pop-Off’s notoriety, which she holds dearer than anyone or anything. This is not a joke in the least.

But Slurpa has just laughed laughed laughed at her sibling’s arguably pathetic attempts at upstaging her in the real-life episodes of Offspring Gone Wild, T-town’s regular chronicling of who’s acting up the best (and the most expensively). I’ll tell ya this much, though: She ain't gonna be chuckling much longer, as her current, rather tentative hold on the grizzly goss zeitgeist is about to change drastically, once it's revealed Pork-Me’s gal dumped him because she’s sick of him using her to hide something.

Like the fact that he’s gay.

Today's Blind Items

#1 - At this point this the only thing keeping this on and off screen couple from that NY teen show together are the cameras and the publicity they get for being together.

#2 - This one is long and involved, but is interesting. Lets get the people out of the way first. Singer/Female/always has been Top 40 along with her celebrity male friend. So apparently our singer decided she wanted a baby and her current guy of the moment was not giving it to her. So, she and her friend hatched a plan and established a base at a hotel room in San Diego. Lots of military guys in San Diego and they thought that would work best. Posted an ad on Craigslist for guys who wanted to help a woman conceive. The suitors were interviewed by the celebrity male for someone who looked as close as possible to her current boyfriend and someone was picked. At this point, before the female singer could follow through she decided that maybe she and her boyfriend were getting serious and so the pair called the whole thing off. What I can't figure out is whether or not she was going to be pregnant by someone unknown or if she was going to try and pass the baby off as belonging to her boyfriend. The suitors had no idea who the singer was, and were not even told she was a celebrity. To them, she was just a woman who wanted to get pregnant. If you are asking yourself how the potential suitor would not have figured out who it is, you would need to know the celebrity male. He would make sure. As far as I know she has kept quiet about the whole thing. It is the celebrity male who can't keep his mouth shut.

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

Amarie - Los Angeles
So from L to R you have Alison Kelly, Laura Bennett, and Sweet Pea. I think those 14 kids Laura has have finally pushed her off the deep end.
I think it is the new girlfriend which is making Adrian Grenier keep the beard off, and if you notice, practically freshly shaved each day. Ahh what guys won't do for women when we first start dating. It's after that first few months that we start trying to go back to our old ways.
I just have always found myself strangely attracted to Erika Christensen.

While I am sure many of you are attracted to David Beckham and find nothing strange about it.
Catherine Deneuve at the funeral of Yves St. Laurent.
As you can see the people of France turned out in huge numbers for the funeral.
OK, so did I miss the boat on this one? Two days in a row Aimee Osborne has allowed herself to be photographed with Kate Sumner. Am I reading more into this then I should? I for one am stumped. I haven't heard anything. Nothing, nada, zilch.

I have always, always, always been a big fan of Ileana Douglas but this outfit is just not working at all.

In case you have wondered what Mrs. Ramsay looks like.
From all the e-mails I got the first time I posted Gilles Marini, I decided that it would be best if I put him in a second time this week.
Fern Mallis looks amazing. I know, I know, none of you know who she is, but hey I do and a little sucking up never hurts. Ever.
When not acting, Fairuza Balk has turned to serial killing to pass away the hours.

Lauren Hutton certainly wants to be noticed. I would say she succeeded.

Kelly Rowland in Sydney. While there she said that if there is a reunion of Destiny's Child it would be a secret until the last possible moment. To me that says maybe.
Katy Perry - New York
Forget about the one on the left. The one on the right is Andrea McArdle. The original Annie. 30th Anniversary. Can you believe it?
It doesn't appear as if time has made Kara Janx any sweeter.

I promise Molly that the next time, you will be back on top where you belong.

I think the reason Melina Kanakaredes doesn't make into the photos very often might have something to do with her name. You try and type it.
It has been too long since I sat down and watched all of Margaret Cho's stand up specials. Nothing like getting bombed out of my mind and watching Margaret for a few hours.
It's Malan Breton!! I didn't realize he was quite that tall or Nikki Blonsky quite that small.
I don't think Liv Tyler has had a bad day since the divorce. Wow she is happy lately.

I think Padma Lakshmi is gorgeous, but lately it just doesn't seem like she is looking like it.

The question I have is where did the baby come from?
Considering all the rumors about Michael Strahan, I think this is an interesting choice for Nicole Murphy.
N.E.R.D - Los Angeles
Metro Station - New York
Ummmm.

Since every other blog hates Rachel Zoe, I thought I would go the other way. I mean everyone needs a friend right?
Our reader photo of the day. To make sure you all like her she decided to include Cameron Mathison.
Rocco DiSpirito looks really good. Love that suit.
Two of my favorite people. Ted Danson and Rosario Dawson. As Rosario is discovering though, if you ask Ted about the environment, you may as well put up a chair because you are going to be there awhile.

Vanessa Amorosi - Perth

This will be the one and only time Tila Tequila makes an appearance here. I just don't get the hype. She looks like a troll.
The Tron Guy on the other hand is welcome everyday.
A guy who never takes a bad photo. Tyson Beckford.
Last but certainly not least. Love Ted Allen.

What Does This Sentence Mean To You?

"Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel Move In."

That was the headline in an In Touch article this week and to me it says that Jessica Biel and Jessica Timberlake have moved in together. I think anyone would read it like that. Apparently though the editors at In Touch learned English as their fourth or fifth language though because when you actually read the article it says that Justin has asked Jessica to move in to his place. It doesn't actually say whether or not Jessica said yes, or if the fact that Justin asked her to move in because say, she was having termites removed from her house and needed a place to stay.

The article does say that Jessica is going to keep her own house so I'm guessing that maybe she doesn't think too much of this either. Or, it could just be she needs a place to run back to when her trainer needs her for a workout.

Seriously, Is There Blood Raining Down From The Sky?

She did it. She got herself knocked up and is going to spawn. I am going gun shopping at lunch to find something that will end my life quickly and painlessly. Can't handle her being pregnant for the next nine months. Just can't. Every day will be just about her and only her. What if the gun misfires though and it leaves me in a vegetative state where the only thing that is in my mind is this photo of her and I have to live with it, never moving staring at me for the rest of my life. Oh, the horror.

Please tell me I'm wrong and that the stories and whispers I am hearing today are my imagination. Please tell me no one would be willing to enter there without a hefty bag for their protection. Please, oh, please make it go away. Make the voices stop.

The World Is F**ked Up Part 64

I don't even know where to begin. I have started and stopped this post so many times because it pisses me off so much and so I guess I am not thinking straight. According to the new issue of In Touch Heidi and Spencer have earned $3M in the past two years.

Yep, $3M. Let's break that down shall we? Each day for the past two years they have made $4,109.59 each and every day. How much do you make a day or a week or a month? Work hard for your money? I bet you do. What about if you are at home right now taking care of your kids? How much are you earning for that? What? The extra $300 rebate from the government per kid whoo hoo. Lets go to Applebees and celebrate. What you are doing is contributing to society like each and everyone of you. Well except for Denise Richards.

What do Heidi and Spencer do? Nothing? How do they contribute to society? They don't. They denigrate it, take it further to the lowest common denominator, and at the same time are being paid more for that than 99.5% of all people in the US.

They have no skill. They serve no purpose. They are not actors in the sense we think of actors. What they are is a representation of what is wrong with the function of celebrity today. It is not about talent, it is about marketing. Sure, in the past the studios had a publicity system that drove the popularity of the actors that worked for them, BUT, and this is a big but, the studios generally only put their powerful publicity machine behind someone who actually had talent and who actually had a future. If someone had no talent, then the studio system could not make them a better actor. They might have a brief flicker, but then they were gone.

The teen stars that Tigerbeat in the 70's promoted and that Disney does today differed in the sense that the people they promoted had actual talent. Say what you will about David or Shaun Cassidy or the whole HSM franchise, but the fact is there is talent there and a skill and as such were rewarded for it. Do I think it is and was too much? Yes, but at least I could swallow it. I can't swallow the whole Heidi and Spencer thing or any of the reality people that have no talent other than the ability to be invited to events and keeping their faces known and thus creating more demand for appearances and fees.

It is striking that when you read the In Touch article, it is pointed out that Heidi's singing has not made any money or has her acting or her fashion or anything tangible. The only thing that is making them money is people willing to pay to see the couple. To make matters worse it is going to provide an entire generation with a career choice. When you ask a kid what they want to be when they grow up, the answer should not be someone who shows up at parties and gets paid for it.

When asked about it, this is what Spencer had to say. “My hustle is just too crazy,” he says. “I’m trying to take over the world!”

That is what I am afraid of. A world of Heidi and Spencers.

Apology Number 3 And Counting

If she could get a visa, I would advise Sharon Stone to travel to China and spend the next six months in the earthquake devastated region of China. I would tell her to provide whatever assistance she could, live where the relief workers are living, eat what they eat, live how they live, and to do this all with no publicity. At the end of six months she could come out and then things would be better.

Unfortunately Sharon Stone listens to no one but her self and thinks that only her opinion matters and that she thinks she is relevant. She's not. She is a bitter hag of a woman who somehow managed to take a scene in a movie and make it a career. How she even hangs on to a career is beyond me, but she is watching it go bye bye now.

You don;t think it is going bye bye? Well she is on apology #3 after the first two didn't take. They didn't take because they were insincere and the third is even worse. I can just picture Sharon sitting around in her robe screaming at agents, managers and the woman cleaning the gunk between her toenails while wondering why there is no money coming in.

I am actually surprised Sharon hasn't somehow tried to exploit her kids in one of these apologies but then she would have to remember their names and so that may be beyond her ability right now.

In her latest apology she blames the media, the person quoting her and the fact that she was distracted.

"Yes, I misspoke. I could not be more regretful of that mistake. It was unintentional. I apologize, those words were never meant to be hurtful to anyone, they were an accident of my distraction and a product of news sensationalism."

It was intentional. Those thoughts were well formed and she meant every word she said. To blame it on news sensationalism and everything else shows she is still more interested in making excuses than admitting guilt, and until she does change, she is still going to be stuck in her house with no job because no one will want her or be seen with her or work with her. Would you?

If she takes my advice it would be over and done. Don't take my advice and honestly, I don't think she works again ever unless it involves asking people if they want it supersized.

Ozzy Osbourne Not A Freak Show

Ozzy Osbourne won a bunch of money from the Daily Star because he was pissed they called him a freak show. Ummm, I thought that's how Ozzy Osbourne made his living the past 30 years. Wasn't that the point of pissing at the Alamo and biting the head off a bat? What about the rampant drug use and the partying? Not a freak show?

The article also said that Ozzy had fallen over twice while backstage and was driven around in an electric cart before the show. To me that just says that Ozzy was being Ozzy and that he was a big enough star where someone had to drive him around.

To me when you start doing the nit picky things you start to ruin the legend. I'm guessing Ozzy didn't even notice the article and this was probably more Sharon's doing. Obviously the Osbournes won and The Daily Star apologized but to me their story would just have made Ozzy even more Ozzy and now he just seems like the guy next door who won't let you chase a ball that comes in his yard.

Who wants Ozzy to be the uptight ass? You want him to be the crazy neighbor man who cusses at the kids and who may or not be trying to poison your Halloween candy. That is the Ozzy we want.

Tatum O'Neal Day 4

In order to continue my record breaking drive to shatter the consecutive reporting days of Tatum O'Neal and wrest the honor away from the French who currently hold it, I thought I was going to have to do an open letter or some other kind of crap like that because Tatum has pretty much run her course as a newsworthy item for this week. Oh sure, when she checks into rehab or shows up in court or is turning tricks for crack then she will be newsworthy again, but until then, I didn't think there was much. And then, I found it.

See, Tatum is the kind of person who doesn't know that one who is an addict should not offer public advice to another addict or troubled person or whatever the hell Britney Spears was back in October.

Instead, Tatum went out and called ET and said let's do an interview. Tatum then proceeded to tell the world about how her life was perfect now and that she wished Britney well and that soon Britney could be as good as Tatum and doing as well as Tatum. This is of course the same Tatum who lost custody of her kids in 1995 and never managed to regain it giving advice to Britney about how to regain custody.

Apparently Britney did a better job than Tatum because last I checked Britney never got busted for crack and coke. Sure, she is a little off her rocker and has to have supervised visitation with her kids, but hey, no time spent in jail. Even if Tatum was completely sober back in October and I have no reason to doubt she wasn't, an addict should never say they are doing fine and that everything is great and act like they are the fountain of knowledge of addiction because, bam, next thing you know you are walking the park looking for drugs with a pipe and a screen.

Trouble In Paradise Already

Yesterday in Random Photos I posted a photo of the lovely couple Mark Ronson and Daisy Lowe. Well apparently Mark might have a bit of his sister's temper in him because what was a lovey dovey kind of night turned into a really loud argument in front of others that was only broken up by the arrival of Lily Allen crawling on the floor and barking. Or something similar to barking.

Daisy apparently wanted Mark to pay more attention to her because she didn't really know very many people and he said she would be fine and that she was welcome to go home but that he was going to stay and hang out with his friends.

I would say that she would run home to daddy and get him to kick Mark's ass, but unfortunately I don't think Gavin Rossdale could kick anyone's ass. Oh, he would admire it perhaps, but I don't think there is going to be any kicking going on. He might caress it, but, well you see where I'm going with this. No, he does work out, and he might throw a punch, but Ronson looks like a fighter. Now a tag team between the Ronsons and the Stefanis would be more interesting, because I think Gwen Stefani could get crazy if need be. Then when the Ronsons got into trouble, Lindsay Lohan would appear from nowhere to save her pinned girlfriend.

I like it.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

VIP GLAMOUR Women of the year with AUSSIE hair care After show party

Which jealous starlet finally dragged her husband away from a woman he'd been chatting up for at least an hour?

Today's Blind Items

#1 - What does this female talk show host/ B list actress enjoy doing on her weekends more than anything? How about sitting in front of her television all weekend and ordering jewelery from home shopping channels. Thousands and thousands of dollars worth. And the funny thing is she doesn't really wear any, she just likes the shows and buying.

#2 - Despite reports to the contrary, what really broke up this celebrity couple was not interference but rather the fact that when our female got home one night her boyfriend was waiting for her. While she was digging for the keys in her purse, a torn condom wrapper came fluttering out. Considering she and her boyfriend didn't use condoms this was distressing to him, hence the breakup. Now any time he spends with her is just to get back at her and is not out of any kind of sense of love.

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

So, obviously not a full on photo of Mel Ferrer, but I just really like the photo and I'm sure that happy times are what his family would like to remember now. RIP.
Anne Hathaway selling herself out to a German tabloid. Nothing wrong with that. But look at who is on their cover. Athena Onassis. See? That's what we need here. There is no way she could possibly be normal.
Looks like Lindsay Lohan found at least one unlikely customer for her leggings. Come on Annie. Next thing you know Annie is going to go out and buy Lindsay's new album.
If Mel hadn't passed this was going to be on the top. When is the last time there has been an Aimee Osborne sighting photographed? Here she is. If you can't guess which of the two females she is, then you need to go outside and practice kicking yourselves in the ass.
See that grin on Carmen Electra's face? That is how you know she looks at FFF. See that look on Michelle Trachtenberg's face? OK, that is how you can tell she is not a reader and instead
wants her hands full of David Spade love.

Unless of course the Spade can use those 12 pack a day Marlboro good looks into scoring a chick from The Hills. "Yep. I used to date Heather Locklear. Dumped her."
Something very 60'ish about Mark Ronson and Daisy Lowe. Kind of like it.
Normally I would give David Katzenberg s**t about being this wasted in public. Honestly though, I don't blame him one bit. Just think about his potential in-laws.
Emily Deschanel's eyes are freaking me out. David Boreanz seems happy for the love though. Who wouldn't? I would rather have Zooey though.
"What? You want a piece of me?"

Umm. Actually. Yes.

First time appearance for Josh Radnor.
Gavin Rossdale - New York
If Elletra is going to be a star she needs to marry a Smith right away.
Or a Hirsch, but somehow I don't think Emile is going to be marrying any women.

I swear to everything that is holy that the first name of this woman is Muffie. WireImage listed her as socialite Muffie Potter Aston. I didn't know Muffie's actually existed.

M-E-L - 20 minutes later Mel B finished writing out her name.
The night always starts out so promising, what with your bleeding Bambi's on your dress.
The the next thing you know, you drink a shot to each of the dead Bambi's and someone is carrying you home.
Kelly Osbourne had a Renaissance festival gig after this event. She got the turkey drumstick concession this year so she is pretty psyched about it.
Our lovely reader photo of the day.

Spanish subjects can each take a turn posing with the Princess. Just no touching, or smoking. The heat can make the wax melt.
Love Neil Patrick Harris. Hate the Sears suit from the 70's.
First timers Nash and Joel Edgerton.
Will anyone say anything bad about Michelle Williams again?
Wynton Marsalis - New York

This is going to be one hell of a show.
I find myself actually very happy for Lindsay Lohan. Hope they invite me to the wedding.
I don't think a photo could get more cheesy.
Another first timer is Sam Anderson.

Alanis Takes The High Road

I didn't think she had it in her, but Alanis Morissette has taken the high road when it comes to the engagement between her ex Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson. The thing about it was that it wasn't your ho-hum happy for them kind of thing. She actually seems thrilled in her kookish kind of way.

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly she said, "On a certain spiritual level, I feel like everyone's where they need to be."

To me that is a pretty good sign that she is over whatever pain she felt. She did add though that there is no way she will ever take another relationship public again until after she is married and has six kids. Does anyone actually envision Alanis with six kids? I didn't ever even get the feeling that she liked kids which is why I thought she and Ryan got along so well. That and the fact that she saw him naked everyday.

You Should Play Scrabble With Her

Denise Richards is coming under a bunch of criticism for the language she uses in her new television program. This is especially true because parents thought the show would be family entertainment. I mean if Denise was going to have her children participate then it must be suitable for all children right?

The thing that the parents didn't know about is that Denise has trouble with words that have more than one syllable except for classics such as "harder," "snowball," and "I take MasterCard." Therefore because of this aversion to big words, Denise has mastered the use of all the four letter words.

Her latest rant against an editor of People magazine which included the word c**t is a prime example. Denise probably couldn't define it, but she knows how to use it. You can take that last part however you want.

I'm not shocked she used the word. I am shocked she didn't blame its use on the fact that her mother died of cancer. She probably had that rant on some pseudo anniversary of something relating to her mom's cancer. As for the word itself, I have a question. I have always been told by female friends that it is a vile word and should never be used, but in turn they are more than happy to use the word themselves. Is it a word that can only be used by women? Since the vast majority of the readers of this blog are women, I am really interested to hear what you have to say about the word. Do you use it? What do you think of men when they use the word?

I Really Wanted To Avoid This

I just didn't want to talk about Tom and Katie today. I was hoping that enough people got arrested, divorced, or slept with Teri Hatcher that I wouldn't have to. But, alas, it was not to be, so now I have to comment on the production that is called a marriage.

Katie's producer on her new show has been flapping his gums almost non-stop and now thinks of himself as the Tom and Katie expert. He opined to the NY Post recently that because Tom and Katie have such a strong bond that they need to get an apartment in NY for the entire length of her run. 16 weeks. That is how long Katie could have had to run free. No longer.

Sure, Tom won't be there the whole time because he has his own career. Ooops. So maybe he will have lots of time to spend with her. He hasn't had a chance to do much working over of the NY actor set. Uma, SJP, Matthew Broderick. So many people to recruit and so many musicals to see each night. Hosting show tune karaoke parties for all his new friends will keep Tom plenty busy for the time Katie is working.

The producer says Katie is perfect for the role in which she was cast. Umm, you cast her so I hope she was perfect. It is really doubtful that you are going to cast someone and not call them perfect because it makes you look like a stupid idiot. I guess you can't be a smart idiot so that was probably redundant. But, it makes the point.

The producer was happy that Katie was not acting like a diva and didn't ask for anything. If she had been anyone other than Katie, he would have smacked her if she had. What is she? Like 5th billed in this thing? Please. The only reason she is in it is to sell tickets and to make sure the press shows up. She can't ruin the damn play and she might be able to help. I mean I bet all those SeaOrg people are on the phone right now selling tickets to ensure sold out performances each and every night.

If you want some more CO$ bashing courtesy of cracked.com and mooshki, then click here. It is L. Ron's 5 most impressive lies other than Scientology. Enjoy.

I'm Going For The Tatum O'Neal Record

Day three of my attempt to break the record of the most consecutive days with a Tatum O'Neal story. The current world record is held by a French blog (damn the French) who waxed poetic about whether Tatum and daddy and Melanie slept together every night or if it was just a one day thing. The blog did so for 5 consecutive days. I know, I know, that seems like too many days spent on Tatum. Did you know that she has a movie coming out four days after her next court appearance? I would say she might be doing it for the publicity, but the film is on Lifetime so she has already been paid and they would not be above pulling it if the publicity got too bad. Does anyone even have Lifetime anymore? Let me know when they are going to show a Shannon Doherty, Tori Spelling marathon of made for tv films.

Tatum has not been shy about talking to anyone who will listen about her experience and her publisher hasn't been shy about it either as they attempt to push the sales of her autobiography past the 400 sold level. They would have sold more, but Tatum spent all of her money on crack that month.

Tatum said she spoke to all three of her children and they are all supportive of her. How else would they be? "Oh, mom, why are you quitting now? My birthday is coming up and you promised that I could do lines off the stripper you hired."

Of course they are going to be supportive. There is nothing less fun for a child then going to mom's house, having her give you a $20 and telling you to run down to the park because she needs a new rock. Can't invite friends over because mom won't share.

The list is endless. Just because I am giving Tatum s**t every day doesn't mean that I don't want her to get better because I do. I also understand that she grew up in one f**ked up atmosphere. Yes, she is crazier than a loon, but I also think some of that is to be expected.

David Tennant Having Sex With His Daughter

Quite the headline isn't it? Of course the daughter in question is his television daughter. Yep, the 37 year old David Tennant has dumped the 27 year old director he was dating for someone just a bit younger. He is now dating and spending the night frequently with Georgia Moffett who has played his daughter on the Dr. Who series and who is actually the daughter of Peter Davison who played the Doctor previously. Well nothing like keeping it in the family.

Robert Downey Jr said recently that he slept with everyone of his co-stars. David Tennant is doing his very best to keep up as this is his fourth just from Dr. Who. Everyone can just sit around the set and talk about him, and of course if they need any reminders of what he has down there, they only need to click on FFF and there he is.

David's mom died of cancer last summer so David has a built in excuse for his behavior. In fact, Denise Richards has called him and given him a prepared list of excuses that basically all end with my mom died of cancer. I don't really care who David dates or how many people he dates and I would not feel any different if he was a woman. He's not a woman right? That photo we saw of him would seem to indicate not, but you never know. People date. People date and then decide to move on. Just because you are someone on television doesn't mean you can't be a serial dater, or in the case of David, a slut. I would be doing the same damn thing so don't look for me to throw rocks or stones or anything at glass houses. Unless of course I couldn't find my keys.

Gwyneth Paltrow To Have Sex One More Time

Chris Martin better start hiding now or preparing whichever he prefers, because Gwyneth Paltrow has decided she is going to have sex at least one more time in her life. Gwyneth has decided that she owes it to the world to have more children and so will force herself to get pregnant one more time. For Chris that means you will have to see your wife naked. For that I'm sorry. Perhaps you could write a song about it. I think somewhere in the chorus there should be a reference to a scarecrow. That way you can explore the whole food thing and not eating and the bird that comes to peck, peck, peck the scarecrow until it can't take it anymore.

Where was I ? Obviously with her career not going gangbusters (Iron Man would have made money without her) the surest way to get some more attention is to get knocked up and if she has to pretend to enjoy it, so be it.

"I may force myself to do it one more time because the result is so worth it. I do feel we’re so fortunate, and we kind of owe it to humanity."

Actually I think humanity is voting right now and we are waiting for the decision. Oh, there it is. Yes, all of humanity has voted and they are perfectly fine with you not having any more children. In fact, they would applaud you not having more kids. If humanity needs a couple more, they will just call over to your ex's house because they would do anything for humanity including having a couple more.

So, Gwyneth, what we need from you right now is less talking in public because you reflect poorly on the world when you speak. I'm trying to remember the last time you gave an interview and didn't offend anyone. Can't think of a time. So head on back to the UK and your attention grabbing photos with Madonna and your "marriage" and come out every few years so we can make fun of you and how you look. Other than that, I'm good with not seeing you.

$15M For Photos Is OK This One Time

With Kneepads and OK! Magazine competing for who has the biggest d**k right now, the Brangelina baby photos are expected to get about $15M. When Shiloh was born, the total paid was about $7M, but that included the UK rights as well.

Unlike every other celebrity who sells their kids and wedding for a quick buck, Brangelina is the one couple that I trust to do the right thing with the money. I have no doubts that every penny will be given to charity and so as far as I'm concerned the magazines can pay as much as they like. The only downside I see to the whole thing is where does the madness stop?

There is no way that either magazine will sell enough issues to cover the loss, and I doubt that readers will be back for another issue unless there is another exclusive the next week.

Kneepads has said they are willing to print blank pages for the remainder of the year if they have to, just to get these photos. Why? What makes these twins more special than the pair of twins down the street who just were born? What about the twins in every city in the world that are probably born premature and fighting for their life. I wonder if their families could use the $15M to help pay for the medical bills that their insurance company decided weren't covered under the policy.

If everyone rushes out and buys this issue with the photos, then it will just keep perpetuating this celebrities are better than everyone else myth. They are not better. They may act like they are better, or act as if they are more entitled, but you know what? They're not. Who thinks celebrities are getting pregnant simply for the payday and publicity at the end of the pregnancy? Well, they are. Oh, there are lots of exceptions, but even a B lister knows they can get a few hundred thousand out of a magazine which makes their time off from work much easier.

So, I say give the money to Brangelina because it will go for a good cause, but I would also hope that not one person goes out and buys the issue with the photos. If you are that desperate to see the photos, go to the store and look at them, or wait a few days and see them on the internet.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which D-list celeb is so desperate to get in the paper, he puts on a ridiculous accent and rings journalists with madeup stories about himself in a bid to drum up publicity?

Today's Blind Items

I understand some of you are having problems loading the site. I have my crack technical team of Me, Myself & I working on it and the problem should be solved shortly. Either that or when whatever ad is causing the havoc ends its run. Since it is only about a month to the next mass reveals I thought I would tell you that the blind from yesterday will definitely be in the reveals.

#1 - How about another adventure from our actor from yesterday? Not as interesting, but still fun in a car wreck kind of way. Film Festival. Toronto actually. Yay Canada. Party for the premiere of one of his films. Drinks until he is passed out and his manager carries him to his room. Like I said. Not as interesting but hopefully will provide some insight into yesterday.

#2 - Speaking of sight. Wow that was a good segue. This aging, but in no way old or even middle age Academy Award nominee/winner (you decide if he won) for best actor is actually legally blind. Can't read unless it is in HUGE TYPE. Has lots of problems doing action or anything other than staying very close to his mark because he cannot see more than a few feet. When you see him in public, he is always with someone. Always. Never by himself because he can't go anywhere by himself.

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

Solid, solid as a rock. One of those guilty pleasures in life. Actually I don't even feel guilty for liking Ashford & Simpson. Love them.
It's a Spice Girl. Actually this is about as good as I have seen Emma Bunton look.

They obviously must move in packs because Emma showed up with another Spice Girl. Just not feeling the whole see through thing here on Geri Halliwell.
I'm guessing that is not Drew Barrymore's first beer of the night. I'm also guessing it wasn't the last. Or second to last, or third to last. I could go on all night.
The Bacon Brothers - New York
Yes, I know Ashley Judd is doing some decent humanitarian work, but I bet the U.N is just kicking themselves they ever got involved with Ashley Judd. She just is not likable. At all. But how do you tell someone, "hey, thanks for doing this work on human trafficking, but don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."
Put Eva Mendes in an evening gown and she just looks incredible.

So, everywhere I look today sites are buzzing about Eva Longoria and her baby bump. All I see is a really bad self tanning job.
I could be wrong about the Eva baby bump though because we know Amy Poehler is pregnant, but I really can't tell from this photo.
Ashley Olsen who isn't even larger than a baby bump, is now two for two in looking good. She obviously has decided that the simple look is good on her and this is twice in a row with the pants.
Damien Lieth - Sydney

I have to say that I feel really sorry for Harrison Ford. No, not because he has to sleep with Calista Flockhart every night. Although, I could see how some countries would classify that as torture. No, what I am referring to is the crowd of people around Indy. Notice what's missing. Even when Parasite shows up in Japan the throngs of people have to be kept at bay. No one is there for Harrison and I think that kind of sucks. Hell, there were only three photos of his arrival. Three. He is the star of the #1 film in the world and his manager is taking photos of the star with a cell phone.

When did Hilary Duff grow up? Wow. It is like she turned 30 in a nano second. Or to use a phrase she is more familiar with, she turned 30 in a Mmmmbop.
I bet you could never guess that this group is called Hi-5. At first I thought they were a bunch of Australian Idol contestants who all thought they were #5.
Sometimes Gavin Rossdale is not a bad looking guy.
Earth, Wind & Fire - New York

I've decided that Jason Lewis is the male version of Phoebe Price. There is no red carpet that he will not walk.

Jenna Fischer before Dave.
And after Dave. Either way, I love her.
India.Arie - New York
I think Hayden took this dress from the DWTS set.
Maggie Gyllenhaal says hello to 50. Oh, she's not 50? You know the whole age appropriate thing works in both directions.

The always appropriate LL Cool J.
Kimberly Stewart shows off her new Red Carpet work out video.
If you invite Denzel Washington to an event, the man is going to be smiling and just loving life.
Jason Patric on the other hand, I don't know. I've said it before. No one is forcing you to walk the press line. If you don't want to do it, then don't. And while you are at it, stay the f**k home too.
I almost feel guilty for cussing right before Ruby Dee. I get the feeling that she would kick my butt about it. She is a legend and I am honored just to post her photo here.

You think Queen Latifah is enjoying her vacation? Hell yes. Enjoy yourself. That is just a look of pure joy.
Norah Jones - New York
Naomi Campbell and Victoria Beckham ended their feud last night. I think it is because they were laughing so hard at Andre Leon Talley. Yes, I know he is an editor at Vogue. Remember that when they give you fashion advice.
Mandy Moore should have been on top today. Best look by far today.
Although Wanda Sykes could also go on top because anyone who can make me laugh until I piss myself is one hell of a funny person.

You know why designers love Victoria Beckham? Because no matter what crap they design, they know she will wear it.
The Zutons - Liverpool
I love Tina Fey, but apparently that Spring Break film is so bad it is going straight to DVD even with the success of SATC.
You have to love a reader who sucks up enough to actually make a mini-poster.

Daily Mirror Blind Item - Part 2

Which hunky TV presenter got amorous with a sexy stranger on board a transatlantic flight... after scribbling out his filthy intentions on a banana skin and lobbing it over the aisle towards her?

Tatum O'Neal Is Full Of Crap

As I was reading the tabloids this morning, I noticed that each of them dropped to their knees and said, "of course Ms. O'Neal," as they opened wide. Tatum O'Neal has got them all saying that she didn't use and that the police saved her from her terrible demons. Therefore she is calling the police heroic and is so grateful they caught her before she could use.

While Kneepads and the others may believe her, I don't. Her excuse is that she was so shaken up by the death of her dog that she wanted to use. The dog died three weeks ago and apparently each day was worse and worse as she tried to deal with the grief of losing the dog. She says it was her trigger. This was of course after the cops refused to believe her story about the fact she was buying for a role she was playing, and the always popular do you know who I am line. So, now it is the dog dying. Uh huh. It may have well been, but most people who haven't used in years as she alleges, don't just wander off to the park and then buy as much as she was buying. I mean coke and crack? How about starting off slow on your return to drugs? Do you really need both? And so much of it at that? Were you planning on sharing? A little party perhaps?

Oh Tatum you are so fortunate that the cops got to you just in time. Tell them that in rehab. I heard you were headed there next. I'm sure they will also tell you how fortunate you are that you never lost your sobriety. You know what? All of the other people in rehab who were busted for drugs? It was their first time too.

Room Service Mr. Hogan?

I can just feel it building inside of me. A Hogan rant. God help me, but I hate each and every single member of their family. I do. I know I throw out the word hate a great deal, but in reality, there are very few people I hate. It is usually reserved for something extreme, but honestly, the Hogan family is right the f**k there.

In the latest episode of I'm too good and too important to be locked up, Nick Hogan's lawyers have gone into court to try and get him out of jail. Last I checked, Nick plead guilty. There weren't any, I plead guilty, but if I do so I want to serve my sentence at the Four Seasons while my mom dates guys who look like me and my dad fondles my sister.

No, Nick plead guilty and the judge sentenced him to 8 months. That is it. 8 months and he is done and can go on and on and on with his life. He can forget about John Graziano and the pain and misery he will suffer for the rest of his life. Nick can be just like Leif Garret and forget about the person he ruined forever.

Nick's lawyers think the judge should reconsider his sentence. They suggest home arrest with an ankle monitor or be moved to a minimum security prison.

"Understandably, this situation creates an unbearable anxiety for a minor in solitary confinement.

"This sort of confinement substantially amounts to cruel and unusual punishment for a juvenile and is not warranted for a non-violent first offender serving a probation sentence."

You have got to be f**king kidding me. Cruel and unusual punishment? Because he has to spend 17 hours alone in a cell? Didn't he probably spend 12 hours alone in his room jerking off to photos of his sister everyday? How much time do you think John spends in his room alone each day? I'm guessing that it is closer to 20 hours a day. Alone and with no one there. And you know what? 8 months from now, he will still be there. 8 years from now? Still be there.

Last week someone sent me a video of the story CNN did on the Hogans and this situation. It was at the same time as the Sharon Stone karma thing and basically the Hogans say the same thing on the tape. That John Graziano got what he deserved because of karma and that he was a bad person. If you have nine minutes, it is worth the look. (Thanks Zeke)

F**k you Hogan family. I never wish bad things on anyone, but I wish that you would lose every penny and that you would be forced to all get jobs. I'm sure with all your education and skills, that you could all find work in the food service industry.

Doesn't everyone see what the problem is for the future? Nick and Brooke are going to breed. Hopefully not together, but they will breed. So, instead of two spoiled kids who don't know right from wrong we will get more and more and more. Can you imagine 10 of these self-entitled f**kers running around?

I Beg Your Forgiveness

Yesterday I was sent a variety of e-mails which threatened me with all matters of harm if I did not correct my error. What error? Omitting Johnny Depp from Random Photos yesterday. It was not my intention to do so but alas it occurred, and so I am hoping that you will see fit to call off your knives, voodoo dolls and Denise Richards singing telegrams in return for this Johnny Depp MTV Movie Award bonanza. I would almost call it a buffet, but that would lead to all sorts of innuendo about eating and things which I would rather avoid. As I have said over and over in FFF, this is a family blog. Kind of like American Idol without Paula or the judging. No judging here. It only leads to poor performance if you know what I mean. Actually poor would be kind of nice. Most of the time it leads to no performance.

Well How About F**king Then?

Sean Combs is doing his best political spin on the whole Cameron Diaz issue. As you may have seen yesterday, websites were buzzing about Cameron and Diddy hooking up. Obviously since I didn't write about it, I wasn't really buzzing about it, but I could kick myself for not posting the Cameron Diaz photo from the MTV thingy because she looked really good.

So, Sean is spreading the world this morning as opposed to spreading his seed which he also seems to do regularly. He insists that he and Cameron are not dating. Ummm. Sean. I don't think any of the websites said you were dating. I think they all said you were f**king. As I remember it, and my memory can go bad. You and Cameron were playing gropy gropy, got back to Prince's place, told him to fire up the video camera and then you and Cameron locked yourselves in a room for 20 minutes. Considering that you are probably a one minute man, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that the other 19 was for her pleasure.

I am hoping you didn't spend it getting undressed and posing in various positions for the mirror. Cameron is a laugher, and remember she already banged Justin Timberlake for awhile so she is used to big laughs.

Diddy says he and Cameron are just friends. I think he said the same thing after he spent the night in Sienna Miller's hotel room as well. It is good that he stays friends with the women he sleeps with. Just not the women he has kids with.

Is Rupert Everett Ever Happy?

Can anyone remember the last time that Rupert Everett was in a good mood? Happy? Not bitter? I honestly don't know if he is in a relationship right now, but if he is, then that person must be a saint and I would like to present them with a medal.

Last year Rupert Everett rambled on to anyone who would listen about how gay people can't make it in Hollywood and are discriminated against. Although that is true to some extent, I think that in Rupert's case it is more because he is the biggest pain in the ass in the world. Think about it. If you are hiring anyone for your company or someone to mow your lawn or deciding where to buy your groceries. All things being equal are you going with the person who smiles or the person who never stops complaining? I also thinks it does a disservice to those actors who have come out and do get roles as straight or gay characters. Rupert's comments just make it more likely that less people will come out, when to make a change, more people would need to do so.

Rupert Everett acts as if the world owes him a favor. Hey pal. You don't like it? Then go do something else besides acting. While you are bitching and moaning and complaining and oh, earning almost $1M a film, the rest of the world moves on and could care less that you missed out on the part of Rambo because you were gay.

Now, Rupert has taken his attacks to the US, calling us "blobby." Rupert says that we all talk like characters from Sex And The City and Friends.

"The Americans are whiny victims whose language is entirely taken from two TV shows -Friends and Sex And The City - and there's nothing sexy about them anymore."

So, I'm guessing he thinks we all sit around all day and talk about sex, coffee, and clothes? I can honestly say there have been times where I have gone at least an hour, maybe even two where I haven't discussed any of those topics. Oh sure, I've thought about them in that time, but kept my mouth shut so that doesn't count.

So, I guess if Rupert can make broad generalizations about the world then I can make broad generalizations about him as well. Hey Rupert, why don't you take that stick out of your ass, go get laid, and then try and get over your martyr issues or looking for someone to blame for the fact that your success is defined by you playing gay characters because you are not a good enough actor to portray straight characters. Don't be a hater. Ooops. I can't say that because they don't say it on those shows.

Has She Actually Ever Done Any Acting?

As Pamela Anderson makes the rounds for her new reality show she has been doing interviews. And when I say rounds I mean press interviews and not some attempt at the world record for sleeping with the most guys in one weekend. Although, come to think of it that would be one hell of a reality show. And I'm an equal opportunity guy. I agree it would be just as much fun to see a guy go for the world record also, although I'm guessing he would probably die about Saturday evening.

Anyway, back to Pamela and her rounds. She is saying that the reason she is doing a reality show is that acting is too much work. Umm, I'm searching my memory, and granted, it is a little foggy, but I have never noticed a difference between Pamela and any of her characters. I guess she could be referring to the process of remembering her character's name or memorable lines such as "wow" or "ouch" or "don't pull my hair so hard."

What I think it boils down to is that she is doing a reality show because no one would give her another scripted show. Plus, as she admits she feels she is irrelevant if no one is filming her. I think she has proved that with a boyfriend or two huh?

As an incentive to get people to watch her show she says it is completely unscripted and totally spontaneous, so you will hear such classic lines as "wow" or "ouch" or "not again Tommy, I mean Rick, I mean Kid, or whatever your name is."

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which up and coming actor, who is well known on the A-list party scene, has his Class A drug habit funded by his laidback dad? Father and son see no harm in doing a line or three together...

Today's Blind Items

You try coming to work like this actor and lets see how long you keep your job, let alone get lots and lots of ass kissing.

A list film actor. Yes, A-list, no ifs ands or buts. Well, if he had stuck with what made him famous he probably wouldn't have made it to A-list but he adapted. Latest film. Not a great film. First day. Table reading. Our actor showed up for it and was so drunk he could barely stand. No one who was setting everything up would come near him because you could smell him a mile away. He kept stumbling and falling everywhere. Affectionate to everyone. Lots of hugs and kisses. Finally managed to get the actor in a seat. He then started mumbling incoherently and the crews were trying to figure out what he was saying. Then he takes a package out of his jacket pocket...it was a mushed up burrito. He held it up to one of the crew and said "look....what is this?" So she looks and tells him it's a burrito...with chicken...he couldn't comprehend this AT ALL. She went and got him a soda and a sandwich. She was trying to get him into some kind of shape for the reading. It wasn't looking good. Oh, did I mention that he rode his motorcycle to the place? Yeah...good...right? Well, everyone LOVED him...said it was one of his best readings ever...he was brilliant. On and one it went, even though no one had been able to understand one word that came out of his mouth.

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

They say celebrity deaths come in threes. Lately it seems they have been coming in bunches.


Bo Diddley - RIP

Harvey Korman - RIP
Yves St. Laurent - RIP
Dresden Dolls - Austin
It could be the perv in me, but I think that Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend probably had a very special after party if this outfit is any indication of what was to come. Goodness.
Yes, that is the size of one of Cisco Adler's beans. It probably also explains how he got Tom Cruise's shoes.
I think Adam Williams certainly got into the ummm spirit of the Sex And The City premiere in Australia. Give him one more cosmo and the shirt comes all the way off.
I didn't even recognize Anne Hathaway at first. She looks incredible.
Damn. I just realized I think I have Jason Bateman in here twice. Excuse me while I delete one.

This is why there is Random Photos. Love them all together in this shot.
Holy s**t it's Heather Thomas. Oh, the stories.
Giada is without a doubt the skinniest damn chef on the planet. And hot also. Kind of like Emeril. Except for the skinny and hot part.
Just because Avril Lavigne is also from Canada doesn't mean that Ellen Page needs to start dressing like her.

Liv Tyler looking stunning and single. Potential suitors? Let's look shall we?

Brendan Fraser - Leather jacket? Check. Jeans? Check. Smirk that says he's going to get some? Check.
The Rock. Leather jacket? Check. Jeans? Check. Smirk that says he's going to get some? Check.
JC Chasez - Leather jacket? Check. Jeans? Umm. No, I believe those are parachute pants. Knowing he isn't going to get any wearing those pants? Check.
James Franco and Seth Rogen - Who knew that Seth even knew how to shave? Looks good.

Public Enemy - East Rutherford

Lyle Lovett - Houston
I'm sorry that your show was canceled Lucy Liu, but you have to admit it was pretty damn bad. But hey, at least you got paid.
So what do you do when your wife leaves you for another woman? You prove your virility by fathering as many kids as possible.
Jennifer Hudson is like four for her last four. Looks amazing.

I finally understand what's happening to Matthew Broderick. Sarah Jessica Parker is taking his youth from him in an attempt to hold onto her own youth. She keeps trying to look like a teenager and in doing that is transforming Matthew into a 65 year old man.

The best I have seen Reese Witherspoon look in awhile.
I haven't seen this many bent knees since the last time Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise walked down a red carpet. In case you were curious - From L to R - Rumer Willis, Emma Stone, Anna Faris and Katharine McPhee who looks like she managed to keep her wedding ring at home.
Our lovely reader photo of the day.

Ain't no party like a Weird Al party.

I never think of Verne Troyer and Austin Powers anymore. I just keep seeing that episode of The Surreal Life in my head when he got drunk and peed in the corner.
Terri Seymour has a full 8 hour shift at Jiffy Lube after the show.
T-Pain - East Rutherford
The Kinnears

NY Post Blind Item

WHICH titled European aristocrat is disloyal to his high-profile wife? The nobleman has a girlfriend and two kids on the side in Thailand.

WHICH socialite displayed bad manners by getting pregnant? The father of her baby hadn't even signed a separation agreement when she conceived.

That's A Shocker

Is anyone really surprised that Angelina Jolie has a gun or two or twelve in her house and that she is prepared to use them all? I would be surprised if Brad Pitt actually handled any of the guns except when he and Angelina are role playing. I just get the feeling that if someone broke in to the house Brad would be putting down his bong by the time Angelina would have already blown the guy away.

In an interview with the Mail on Sunday, Angelina said "I bought original, real guns of the type we used in Tomb Raider for security."

"Brad and I are not against having a gun in the house, and we do have one. And yes, I'd be able to use it if I had to. I could handle myself...

"If anybody comes into my home and tries to hurt my kids, I've no problem shooting them."

I get the feeling that Brad is the little toy she keeps around because he looks good, has strong swimmers and lets her be the boss. Actually, I don't even think it is a matter of let. I think she could, would and has kicked his ass numerous times.

Keith Richards Isn't The Only One Snorting Ashes

When I read the article about Kurt Cobain's ashes being stolen from Courtney Love, I didn't believe it. Still don't. I actually think her daughter took the missing jewelry to wear at a party and that Courtney has been sniffing Kurt's ashes up slowly, but surely. Seriously. This is a woman who used to take the ashes with her everywhere she went. In her purse, on the plane, in a car, everywhere there were Sneetches near and far. She did it to feel closer to Kurt. What better way to feel closer than to snort them right up your nose. It is like having Kurt inside your body.

There really is no other explanation. Oh sure, I guess she could have let some people in her house and they could have made off with the jewels, but it would be pretty tough to throw Kurt's ashes up on ebay. I'm guessing someone might notice. Also, you could keep them in your house in your comic book drawer, but what good is it if you can't share your news? Not much. Nope, I'm convinced she snorted them, or already sold them to someone or signed a deal with the Franklin Mint that she forgot about.

"Yes, that's right for the first time ever you can get this limited edition Kurt Cobain coin. Each coin is embedded with ashes from Kurt Cobain and then sealed in."

You know what the sad thing is? The above sentence actually sounds like something she would do. If you would like to read more of Courtney's ramblings from this past week from her MySpace page, click here. (Thanks Kristen)

Kind Of Like That Lynne Spears Parenting Book

As you all know I am a fan of Alec Baldwin and his acting. His personal life? Not so much. His ego? Not so much. Alec Baldwin is penning a book. I think this is quite possibly the first time I have used the word penning in this blog. Almost 4,000 posts and my first penning. You would have thought I would have had some sex and sheep story and needed to use the word penning, but it hasn't come up. Oh, I'm sure there has been a sex and sheep story, but it hasn't come up here.

Anyway, back to the big egos and how they think they can help. Alec has decided that he can share his valuable insights into the world of divorce and talk about the best way families can handle divorce. Ummm. Yeah. The book is entitled A Promise To Ourselves. He doesn't explicitly slam Kim Basinger in it, because hey it is a book about advice on custody rights and co-parenting strategies.

Hopefully at some point he offers the tip that it might be wise from referring to your daughter as a thoughtless little pig. Alec compares being divorced to "being tied to the back of a pick-up truck and dragged down a gravel road". I'm sure Kim Basinger felt like her marriage was like that every day.

I also on a personal level find the analogy that Alec chose to be a bit disturbing because when I conjure up that image, I don't see Alec being dragged, I see that James Byrd Jr. case in my mind. I know what Alec was trying to say, just wish he would have spent an extra two minutes and thought of something different.

44 Years Old And Doing Crack

How many people do you know that are 44 and doing crack? Yeah, that's because there aren't many 44 year old people doing crack. Oh sure, they are doing coke and other drugs, but crack and meth, and those highly addictive, quick hit drugs are for the young. If you are doing them at 44, then you are really messed up.

I wasn't surprised Tatum O'Neal was busted for coke, but I was surprised she was busted for crack. It isn't like she has never done crack before, or heroin or a variety of other drugs. I mean she is a mother after all and needed to set a good example by extensively trying all the drugs that her children may someday come in contact with. Of course, the fact that she was doing this long before she even had kids just shows that she wanted to be a really good parent.

Most parents at 730pm on a Sunday evening are sitting on the couch with their significant other, looking at some television, wishing their kids would shut the hell up so they could enjoy the last few hours of their weekend. Most parents are not rushing around a park in New York scrambling to find the best deal on some crack. Oh, sure they might be smoking a joint or four, or coasting on that two bottle of wine at dinner buzz, but digging out the crack pipe from the junk drawer is probably not on the list.

Again, that is what makes Tatum special. I love the celebrities who share all their get clean stories as Tatum did last year on her book tour. I'm sure a statement will come out that says this was a one time slip and that she is suffering stress about something that you know she doesn't give a s**t about.

The good thing is it will allow us to drag out all the really bad father stories with Melanie Griffith. I love those stories. I would probably also do crack each and every day if I had to relive what happened in my mind each day.

You Think Signing Up For A Personality Test Is Bad

Ever signed up for one of those free personality screenings that are a CO$ front? Remember how if you gave them your phone number they called you 12 times a day for six years and through three telephone number changes and five different moves?

Well, what the hell do you think happens if you actually accept an invited to Tom Cruise's house for dinner and a cocktail? 250 guests are about to find out. Tom and Katie had a party this weekend to christen their remodeled home and I am scared for each and every person that entered that house. Except of course for those who are already in.

Where did the valets come from who parked the cars? Did they happen to take a look see while they were parking the cars? Perhaps someone forgot something that would be a bit embarrassing. Many of the 250 guests included Scientology muckety-mucks. Umm, do you suppose they had an ear or two open as to what was being discussed? Free drinks anyone? More? More? It's ok, we'll get someone to drive you home.

I get freaked out and I wasn't even there. Do you honestly believe deep in your intellect that all this was about just dinner and drinks and friends? No recruiting? Please. CO$ just lost their richest member and have taken hit after hit lately. This was their chance. Expect the phone calls.

Will You Say You Are Gay For $2M?

The NY Post is reporting that Lindsay Lohan has turned down $1M from OK! Magazine to come out in the pages of their magazine. Now we all know that Lindsay is not exactly flush with cash, and so that $1M must be mighty tempting. She got offered $75,000 for her last film and after commissions and taxes would have left her about $35,000. At that rate she would need to do about 30 films to reap that $1M that OK! is offering just to have her confirm what everyone is already thinking.

So, why do you think Lindsay would turn them down? More money? Not gay? It is an interesting question because there are a great many people who already assume she is gay and so getting $1M would be kind of nice. What if she isn't gay? Since so many people think she is, is she just holding out for more money? If people can fake being straight, then why not fake being gay? If someone offered you several million dollars to come out in a national magazine even if you weren't gay, would you do it?

I know that if someone offered Michael Lohan $2M to come out and say he was gay, he would be sprinting for his Cher costume and extensions, and first in line on the Rosie cruise.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which Tv star refuses to come out of the closet because he's terrified what the shock might do to his elderly parents?