Full Frontal Friday

The picture below is kind of misleading. Not misleading in the sense that he isn't naked, because Gilles Marini is sure as hell naked this week. No, the misleading part is that this week is really about sports. I just have been getting so many e-mails about Gilles, that I had to do something. I even gave you two of him, because everyone knows that sometimes once is just not enough. Of course if you are with me, you would need to get used to none for you and excuses from me. "It's never happened before." Oh, it's happened. As always if you are under 18, go get mom and dad to look at this stuff with you. Just don't blame me when you have a little brother or sister in 9 months. Click here if you are ready.

Four For Friday

I didn't do a Your Turn today because I couldn't think of a topic. Well, actually that isn't true, I did think of a topic and it was a pretty good one, but to make it work, I would have had to allow anonymous comments for the day and seeing as how someone is back who shall not be named, the last thing I wanted to do today was have anonymous comments. Maybe we can try it next week. I just wanted people to be able to participate, but not have to give their identity. I also feel since it is called Your Turn that everyone who reads should be able to participate. Like I said, maybe next week. On a side note, I just saw that R. Kelly was found not guilty. That is some f**ked up s**t.


Now, on with the show.


#1 - I think two days ago I wrote about the actress who got her first prescription filled for the herp. Well here is something else she got filled. A wedding license. I know, I know. I haven't even seen her with her dude in a few weeks, but apparently they tied the knot. Considering I haven't seen them together in a few weeks, it could prove to be a very short marriage. Wonder if the herp had anything to do with the wedding.


#2 - I have been meaning to share this one for the past week and I keep forgetting. You know the female singer dating the "porn star?" Yep, they made a sex tape. The last film the "porn star" made put us all to sleep. This one though should probably make for a really funny comedy. I cannot wait to see if this one comes out. I might actually buy it instead of stealing it from the internet.


#3 - At a recent party this celebrity chef was all lovey dovey to his no name girlfriend. Holding hands, kissing, everything. Really sweet. UNTIL, this celebrity with a famous body and famous ex boyfriend started flirting with him when the girlfriend was mingling with others. Quicker than you can say 30 minute meals, Bam!, Good Eats! or whatever the catch phrase that may or may not apply here, phone numbers were exchanged and plans to meet the next night when girlfriend was going to be out of town. This by the way is not the first time this has happened.


#4 - Speaking of affairs, this one is much juicier. I mean the one from above is kind of juicy, but it isn't like either party is married. Not so, the case in this one. First we have an actress. Young. If not in her teens, then she must be just out. C list actress, but on an A list television show. Recurring role. Almost every episode. She is single. Our actor is older. I'm thinking mid-30's. Married with child(ren). Been married for sometime. On set romance. He has been in some really BIG films. B- lister. Would you know his name? Probably if you read this blog. The average person would just know his face. He has been kicked out of his house. She still lives primarily at home with her parents. (Not Hayden P)

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

Tim Russert - RIP

My original plan was to say something snarky like a couple that gets work together stays together, but then I realized I used that line with the pumping yesterday, and then I also figured that Warren Beatty was getting an award and so he deserves a little respect. That, and I just love The Great Outdoors so much that I just can never really say anything bad about Annette Bening.

How can you ever say anything bad about Art Garfunkel? Well you could start with the hair. Love him.
It must be secret confession day. First Great Outdoors and now this. Loved Johnny B Goode. I know, I know, but I really liked it and it was the first time I ever met Uma and so I just can't say anything bad about it.
So Calum Best is doing some reality show for MTV where he is going to be celibate for 30 days. BFD. Throw in some porn and you have that taken care of. Yes, I speak from personal experience. What I want to see is Calum going without drugs for 30 days. Now that would be reality television worth watching.
The cool photo of the day goes to Cody Green.
The makes me want to laugh photo of the day comes from the Daddy Of All Dance Offs.

And it was judged by Cameron Mathison and Lonnie Quinn.
Cyndi Lauper wanting to perform on CBS, but had to cancel because CBS couldn't get their act together.
Fortunately for Cyndi, ABC knows how to plug in a wire and so she performed there.

I really wish the internet had been around during Faye Dunaway's prime. I bet she could have blown away Naomi Campbell in a cell phone throwing contest. Of course that would assume that cell phones also existed at that time.

The lovely Eva Mendes.
Yes, that is Eric Dane without a shirt on, and yes, that is Rebecca Gayheart without a top on as well.
Want to know what David Geffen is really like? This is pretty much it 24/7. I think he probably sleeps like this.


Isaac Hayes - New York

I was going to make some kind of comment about Seal and deodorant, but then realized it is a design. May want to rethink that one.
Nothing to say. I just know lots of you watch the show.
If you ever have to pick someone other than Kevin Bacon to play six degrees with, Glenne Headly is the person you want to grab for your female choice.
George Clooney and his friend.
The amazing Lainie Kazan. I want to thank Jerry who sent me the photos of Lainie naked after her last appearance in the photos. I have forwarded those photos to about a million people since. She was indeed a hottie back in the day.

Kenny Chesney - New York
Just because I feel like I have to. I mean it is a gossip blog.
Javier Garcia - Los Angeles
Jane Fonda looks pretty damn good.

Stone Gods - Castle Donington

Sandra Bullock on the set of her new film.
Rainn Wilson promoting as only Rainn can.
Our lovely reader photo of the day.
I actually think Marc Summers has been annoying since the days of Double Dare. I know, I know, I have sat through Food Network marathons with him, but only because the subject was interesting, not because of him.

Would you believe it's Xanadu The Musical? Good, because it is.

The Wombats - Isle Of Wight
If I started working out 50 years ago and kept at it every day, I still would not look as good as Tyson Beckford.
The Answer - Isle Of Wight
This is the 2007 Playmate of The Year. After she walked the red carpet, she took a pregnancy test, and yes, David Spade is the father.

Reader Review - Airborne Toxic Event

I'm working on getting the readers in other parts of the world involved in all these reviews, but it seems for now, the NY and LA readers kind of have a lock. This is the latest, and is one of the ones I was most excited to read about because I love The Airborne Toxic Event. If you are in LA, they are going to be at Spaceland next week. Sold out, but, hey, someone will do a no show and I'm sure you can buy a ticket off someone. Our reader wanted some initials, and so, I bring you MI. No, not the state. Although, I will say that Michigan is a lovely place and really has pleasant weather this time of the year.

The Airborne Toxic Event @ Pianos in NYC


You know you’re going to have a good night when it starts with trannies. I made the right onto Ludlow after hopping off the F-train on E. Houston and walked right into a full-on tranny photo shoot. (I would have a picture for you guys, but you don’t interrupt trannies when they are doing their thing- especially trannies on the LES).

Got to the bar and grabbed the cheapest beer they had- Pabst Blue Ribbon. Pianos is a funky hipster bar on 158 Ludlow at Stanton. In case some of you are rusty on your hipster definition, I pulled the following from Urbandictionary.com, which pretty much sums it up:

“Listens to bands that you have never heard of. Has hairstyle that can only be described as "complicated." (Most likely achieved by a minimum of one week not washing it.) Probably tattooed. Maybe gay. Definitely cooler than you…Drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon. Often…Always denies being a hipster... Has friends and/or self cut hair. Dyes it frequently (black, white-blonde, etc. and until scalp bleeds). Has a closet full of clothing but usually wears same three things OVER AND OVER (most likely very tight black pants, scarf, and ironic tee-shirt)…Addicted to coffee, cigarettes (Parliaments, Camel Reds, Lucky Strikes, etc.), and possibly cocaine. Claims to be in a band. Rehearsals consist of choosing outfits for next show and drinking PBR. Always on the list. Majors or majored in art, writing, or queer studies. Name-drops. May go by "Penny Lane," "Eleanor Rigby," etc. when drunk. On PBR. Which is usually…”


Caption: The photo is a bit blurry b/c of hipsters trying to pass behind me (Hipsters become hostile when you come in between them and the seats/stage/PBR.)

Anyway, The Airborne Toxic Event is all indie rock and consists of Mikel (singer/songwriter/guitar), Steve (guitar/keyboard), Noah (bass), Daven (drums) and the gorgeous Anna (electric violin, keyboard, guitar) The band’s name is taken from a Don DeLillo book called “White Noise,” which ultimately explores the effects of an increasingly media-saturated and shallow culture. Mikel formed the band after experiencing a series of tragic events (i.e. his mom was diagnosed with cancer), much like the story’s protagonist, who is forced to confront his own mortality.




The Airborne Toxic Event is huge in LA and I can see why- Mikel’s voice totally reminds me of Talking Heads lead singer David Byrne- with it’s pure, raw emotion- while their music evokes The Cure, Yeah Yeah Yeah’s and Strokes. On stage, they go totally loose, moving to the music the way most of us do only when we’re sure no one can see us. They hop, twist, shake and wail while the whole room moves with them.

Most of the crowd I spoke with had heard of the show via great reviews on LA blogs, not knowing that the LA Times has named them one of three bands to watch in 2008- totally deserved. If you’re on the West Coast you’ve probably heard a few of their tunes on the radio like “Does This Mean You’re Moving On?” and “Sometime Around Midnight.”

Turns out Kiefer Sutherland showed up at one of the band’s concerts in LA shortly after getting out of jail. According to multiple witnesses, Kiefer was on the dance floor all night- so wasted he probably doesn’t even remember them. He was still on the dance floor even after the music had stopped. Alexis Bledel has also caught a show or two.

The band’s album comes out on August 5th and if I didn’t steal all my music online, I’d totally line up to buy it. When The Airborne Toxic Event does blow up on the East Coast, which is inevitable, the hipster crowd will move on, but the rest of us will have a totally original 5-person band entirely deserving of their notoriety.


(Despite the molester stash, Daven’s really down-to-earth and funny.)

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which Premiership footballer has such an incredibly large, er, centre forward to go with his massive ball skills team-mates have nicknamed him The Horse?

Hi, I'm Taylor Hicks And I'm A Publicity Whore

Ahh. Taylor Hicks. You remember him don't you? American Idol winner that has unfortunately not gone off quietly to that good night. No, I don't want the f**ker dead, I just like that line. Yes, I know all of you Taylor Hicks fans will write in and tell me about him being in Grease or the sold out show he did at Bob's Jiffy Lube or whatever, but the fact is, in about a year or two we won't be talking about him.

Hell, I wouldn't even be talking about him today except he went out and got himself some publicity. I will admit it was creative. As you can see from the photo above, Taylor is not above exploiting the fame of others for his own personal benefit. The Jonas Brothers were scheduled to be at Regis & Kelly and knowing there would be a million screaming fans there, Taylor got on a bus and went and stood with the crowd. His next act was to take the sign above from a fan, make sure the producers of Regis & Kelly knew who he was and that he was there and then got his 30 seconds on air and in the tabloids and on here. In the future when you steal a sign, you may want to read what the sign says. I don't even want to understand or try to comprehend how they would rock your world.

Tricks like this work a few times to keep you in the public eye, but it is also kind of obnoxious to do so at the expense of another group. Not that Taylor Hicks has any problems being obnoxious.

Not Paying For The Cow? No One Even Wants A Steak

Last week or earlier this week or maybe in my imagination I wrote about how Mariah Carey had decided that she only wanted wedding gifts. Screw having a wedding or a reception or anything like that. She just wanted gifts and as such had registered for the most expensive ones she could find.

Well, it may have seemed to you that seemed odd. No, not the gift getting part. Come on. She was put on this earth to get gifts and to ask for them. No, I'm talking about the fact that she is not the kind of person to pass up being the center of attention for a few months during the wedding planning and definitely for that very special day and night.

The problem is that since her new husband can't afford to give her the type of party or reception she wants, then she was going to have to pay for it herself. Ummm. No. So, she decided that she would sell the photos to the wedding and get the money for it that way. Ummm. Good idea except that according to MSNBC no one wanted to pay. Why the hell should they? Mariah and Nick have been everywhere, spoken about their wedding to everyone and so there would really be nothing left to buy. It would just be Mariah at a party dressed like a hooker and there are already lots and lots of those photos in the world.

No money. No wedding. Just the gifts please.

Martha Wainwright Is Nuts

Martha Wainwright really needs to think before she opens her mouth to speak. Of course if she did that, then there probably would have been no need for me to post anything that came out of her mouth, or ever even to mention her except in passing as the sister of Rufus Wainwright.

In a recent interview, Martha said that "drugs in music is normal." She went on to say that she has done lots of drugs and credited them with expanding her mind. She went on to say, "I had a great experience with narcotics. They have expanded my mind, maybe not as much as they have ruined it, but I think it's a part of life and being young and in the music and art scene. There are a lot worse things that people can do."

I think she is exactly what is wrong with the world of celebrity today. I don't think taking drugs is necessarily a part of life, and as she even says in the next breath it has ruined her mind more than expanded it. I think that is pretty f**king obvious by the statements she is making. Why does being into music or the art scene give you permission to take drugs and say, being a garbage collector doesn't?

This has got to be one of the most idiotic statements I have read in a very long time. To make matters worse she then adds the part about how there are worse things to do in life other than drugs. Sure there are. You could drink and drive or kill someone. Other than those two things I am having a tough time coming up with things that are worse than as she says it herself, "ruining your mind."

What exactly does she think is worse than taking drugs? Tell me how taking drugs helps people or yourself. Now the really sad thing is that someone will hear her say this or read it somewhere and say to themselves, Martha said it was normal to take drugs if I am a musician. They can read those words at their funeral when they overdose.

Kids Fashion Line Perhaps?

Michael Jackson is in the process of designing his very own fashion line. He and Christian Audigier are in the first phases of designing the line and hope to have something out in the stores by the spring. Now, that report comes from Life & Style. They really don't have anything else to say about it except for the fact that Michael is spending all of his own money to do it.

I'm just kind of wondering what kinds of clothes he is designing that people will want to wear. I can't even think of a time in my life where I said to myself, "OMG, look what Michael is wearing. I need that." There have been times in my life when I have looked at Michael though and said, "WTF is he wearing?"

With that being said, Michael probably does have a lot of experience with children's fashions. He has probably worn them, seen them, removed them, and really just investigated them thoroughly. Therefore, it probably makes the most sense for him to design a line for kids. Of course he will need lots of real models to try on his clothes and lots and lots of fittings and private runway shows just to make sure he gets everything just right. Of course he doesn't have to look very far to find kids to play with since he has some of his own. Yeah. Think about that. Have you really thought about that?

Angelina Wants Billy Bob Back

Well, I'm not so sure about Angelina Jolie actually wanting Billy Bob back, but Billy Bob seems to think that at some point in the next couple of year she is going to come crawling back to Billy Bob and begging for him to take her back.

At a press conference for the release of his new album (way to get it noticed) Billy Bob said that age wise, Angelina Jolie is going through high school right now and that Brad Pitt is the quarterback of the football team. One question before I go on is that if she is in high school now, does that mean Billy Bob was f**king her when she was in elementary school, because that just seems wrong.

Billy Bob says that when she gets out of this current phase, she will be dying for a little Billy Bob loving. He, on the other hand says though that he may, or may not be available when she finally does beg Billy Bob to take him back.

Sounds like someone still has a thing for Angelina. Problem is that he didn't want one kid. Next month there will be six to deal with and by the time Angelina graduates from high school she might have three or four more.

Ted C. Blind Item

“He’s in the bathroom doing coke, and he will not come out!” screamed exhausted old colleagues of Fart-Coif Cretin, who used to be a mucho famous member of a celebrated Hell-Ay comedy house. And just to torture his former fellow actors, Fart-Coif recently decided to revisit the theater where he hasn't exactly been encouraged to perform onstage. Didn’t stop him from pulling a real Morgan Mayhem in the men’s room, now, did it!

Similar to our darling Morg, who’s known for not only doing the blow but the ladies, too, when she visits the loo, Fart-Coif leans toward same-sex nookie. But these days, F.C. is so damn effed up, getting it up is about the last thing he’d be interested in accomplishing. So there he is, finally deciding to come out of the john, high as a Kurt Cobain kite. Decides to sit down for the show. Doesn’t listen much. In fact, F.C. ends up disrupting the performances so imppressively he’s kicked out and, now, wholly unwelcome to revisit the comedy theater.

The fact that F.C. raided the fridge, insulted his former TV costars, smoked pot, stole drinks and insulted everyone he came in contact with while there prolly didn’t help, either.

Does Dr. Drew do comics who were never funny in the first place? Have to find out about that one.

Today's Blind Items

This one kind of freaked me out a bit. Not because of the content so much because, lets face it, this kind of thing happens. The part that freaked me out was that I had no idea that this A- list actress with A+ name recognition did coke. Apparently she loves it. Did I mention she is married? Well she is and there have always been questions about her marriage, so I'm not really surprised she went after a hot looking no name actor from her latest film. Hell, her husband would probably go after him if given the chance as well. Our no name actor loves coke but could never really afford it. Well, with his new mistress that isn't any kind of problem because she buys him whatever he wants plus coke. He told his friends that her favorite game is to do lines right off his chest. Since they got back from their press tour, their time has been limited, but during the entire press tour they were together 24/7 leaving poor hubby back at home. Not that he's actually money poor himself mind you. Poor as an expression.

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

Can you think of a better way to start than with Cate Blanchett? Apparently though people in Sydney must not know who she is because they gave her a name badge which probably put little pin holes in a very expensive dress.
Sticking with the pin theme, and no Boy George isn't a pin head. Just referring to those safety pins on every piece of that outfit. I wonder if they match the pin he is rumored to have, yeah, you know where. Damn that must have hurt. I think this would also be time to admit that I do still listen to Culture Club.
I don't think that whole dog walking job thing is going to work out for Adam Goldberg.
Datarock - Miami

I can't decide if Mel B and Dana Delaney are making fun of the size of Eddie Murphy's d**k or if Dana is just laughing at Mel B because she actually had sex with Eddie.
Christopher Titus is one funny guy.
Oh, what the hell? More hockey players for everyone. This is Chris Osgood.
Cage The Elephant - Manchester
Ladytron - Miami

Justin Timberlake just always has that same damn smirk on his face that says he thinks he is better than all of us. Well f**k him. Someone should because you know Jessica Biel isn't.
A boy named Goo and his bag and a really cheap tip and a really bad haircut.
Frank Woodley - H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S
I really would have loved to have been at this dinner with David Walliams and Kate Beckinsale. Then Kate and I could have left David and gone back to my place where Kate could re-enact scenes from The Last Days Of Disco. Oh yeah baby. Got the mirror ball, the roller skates. The problem is the basement has shag carpeting and about 5 square feet of roller skating space, but still, the idea is solid.

Oh Susanna Hoffs. What could have been. Of course the fact that she and Jay Roach are so damn happy makes me feel even more miserable for thinking about what could have been so then I get this whole guilty feeling thing going on which of course leads to the rinking which of course leads to the drunk dialing which of course leads to the fact she has changed her phone number 47 times. It is really hard to believe she is going to be 50 in January.

Our lovely reader photo and our reader is on the right although I do hope she has managed to convert the woman on the left.
Mariska Hargitay and the apron that wouldn't stop growing.
Matt Damon on the set of his new film.
Even the Olsen twins peed themselves laughing when they saw this.

I'm thinking about making this blog all about Deschanel. Nothing but Zooey and Emily 24/7.

Knowing that Verne Troyer will take a piss almost anywhere makes me really concerned about the wiseness of placing the Stanley Cup anywhere near him.
This is a substitute teacher in the UK. As kids are wont to do when there is a substitute, they were not paying attention and so he said if they didn't start listening to him he would strip and show them his man boobs.
Well at least he is a man of his word, although he is now a man without a job.
Sumner Redstone. You may be last in the photos sir, but not in my mind. In my opinion it is Sumner who is most responsible for driving Tom Cruise into his current downward spiral and so thank you for that. Yes, Sumner can be a prick, but I'm still grateful.

Stop Me If This Sounds Familiar

Who does this make you think of?

A singer with pink hair involved in a rumored lesbian triangle with Lindsay Lohan being in the middle. The pink haired singer leads the paps everywhere and then falls in love with a certain pap.

It sounds like last year's episode of Britney Spears -Insane In The Membrane, but is actually title Lily Allen visits America Tour and no one can figure out why the f**k she's here.

On Lilly's blog she talks about her day with Samantha and Lindsay and how she loved being trailed by the paps all day and how "she even fancied one."

This is way to spooky for someone like me. Now all we need is Lily to shave her head, be rushed to the hospital while she is here and start changing hotel rooms every night while having sex with anything that calls itself a record producer.

Daily Mirror Blind Item - Part 2

Which celeb demanded dancing dwarfs at a cost of £15,000 for the last night of the tour - then kicked them off stage because he didn't like them?

A Family That Pumps Together Stays Together

Aahh good times. Oh, hi. You caught me looking through a photo album. Yeah, after reading some of Angelina Jolie's recent interview with Entertainment Weekly she reminded me of all the good times my family had while we sat around and watched my mother pump her breasts for milk for my baby sister. What? You didn't do this? Of course you didn't because it's insane.

Angelina Jolie has decided though that her entire family should participate when she pumps.

"They're old enough to feel included to change diapers themselves, to feed bottles themselves, like if I pump into a bottle. We're trying to find ways where it can be a fun group thing ... Everybody gets special time so we can make sure we know where they're at."

A fun group thing? When I think of family activities I think of picnics or going to the zoo. Obviously Angie Jo and I are on different pages here. How exactly does this turn into a group thing? One kid holds the pump while another massages mommy's breast while another holds the video camera while yet another goes in for leftovers? And what the hell does she mean by special time. I know there is an ellipse in the quote so I am hoping to hell though that it is not referring to something involving her pumping. How could that be made special? I'm not sure I really want to hear the explanation though.

Well, at least you can say they are a close family just like mom and their uncle.

Maybe I'm Reading This Wrong

Lets take this slow. I did lots and lots of drinking last night and so maybe I am just a little slow this morning. Do you remember the Amy Winehouse drug video? You know, the one where she is smoking crack? No, not the one from last week. In that one she was doing heroin and crack. The other one was just crack and was also the same tape where Peaches Geldof tried to buy drugs as well before heading over to Pete Doherty's house and doing him. This is the tape that got Amy into rehab for a week.

OK, well even though the whole world saw Amy smoking crack in that video, the cops didn't press charges against Amy because there is no way to prove to a jury that she is actually smoking drugs and not talcum powder. Makes sense.

So, today though I read that the cops in the UK arrested two guys in connection for selling Amy Winehouse the drugs she is smoking in the video. Huh? So, two people who are not in the video are arrested for providing what the police have already admitted they cannot prove are drugs to Amy Winehouse who is seen smoking crack but cannot be charged because police can't prove they are drugs.

Wow. I need to move to the UK and start smoking crack because it is the only way I will ever be able to follow their logic.

Edward Norton Pulls A Mischa Barton

I never thought I would actually be discussing something that Mischa Barton and Edward Norton have in common, but the day has come. Since I know that none of you really follow Mischa's career or what is left of it, I will remind you that she is in a film that premiered at Cannes. She showed up on the red carpet for other films in Cannes but had nothing to do with her film there or anywhere else she was supposed to be. Since then, she has not received any new offers for any new films because what producer or studio will ever want someone who won't do publicity for the film? Granted in Mischa's case, the audience will be more likely to see it if they don't know she is in it, so it could be a wash.

Edward Norton on the other hand knows better and so when he blows off every interview for Hulk you know it is because he hates the movie and is telling audiences to stay the hell away by his absence.

His rep says Ed never does any interviews which is a complete bunch of crap but he knows that no one is going to take the time to find each interview that Ed Norton has ever done for a film. Last I checked it was Ed doing the acting in the film. Whether he got along with the director or not, you signed on to do the film, you starred in the film and got paid more for doing that film than 99% of Americans will make in their LIFETIME. Suck it up and do an interview you a-hole. What? You think because you are an actor you don't have to work if you don't like it? Let me tell you something about the real world and "everyday people" (thanks Kathy Hilton). None of us like our jobs everyday. Most of us probably hate our jobs more often than we like them. But you know what? We understand we are getting paid for being there and so we go. Oh, we might hate it and call in sick frequently, but in the end we show up or we find another job. No one forced you to be an actor. Stop being a cry baby and start being a man, or whatever kind of man you can be after being Salma's bitch for all those years.

Dr. Drew Is Preaching To The Choir

I know most have you have probably already read the statements made by Dr. Drew about Tom Cruise, but just in case you haven't, it is worth spreading to every person all over the world. In the new issue of Playboy, Dr. Drew starts talking about celebrities and mental illness.

"A lot of people in the public eye who behave strangely have mental illness we can learn from, and much of it is based on childhood trauma, without a doubt. Take a guy like Tom Cruise. Why would somebody be drawn into a cultish kind of environment like Scientology? To me, that's a function of a very deep emptiness and suggests serious neglect in childhood - maybe some abuse, but mostly neglect."

So, the way I read this, Tom Cruise has to cry himself to sleep every night, clutching a stuffed animal and calling out for mama who either didn't spend any time with him as a child or beat the crap out of him. So what is a guy to do? He spends time with Randy Jones, turns to Scientology and spends the rest of his life making us feel as miserable as he does. I mean, not as miserable as Katie does, but close.

As for Tom's reaction. He was too busy playing with his dolls so he sent out Bert Fields who is his attorney. Bert spun all of Drew's words around and then billed Tom $25,000 for the one sentence response.

Neil Diamond Lived The Thug Life

I'm trying to picture in my mind how Neil Diamond would have been a thug running around Brooklyn when he was growing up. Neil told Blender magazine this month that he used to be in a gang and that he and his friends would roam the streets of New York each night looking for people to fight. I just can't picture it. What I do picture is some kind of hybrid mashup of West Side Story and Beat It.

All of the gang members in their matching satin jackets just beating the crap out of each other when all of a sudden the camera focuses on Neil and he starts singing Sweet Caroline. At first everyone keeps punching, but then they just can't stop and they soon join in. For an encore some guy breaks a mop in two, puts the mop on his head and he and Neil waltz around singing You Don't Bring Me Flowers.

When they finish, everyone has tears in their eyes and so the guys decide to have a group hug and talk out their problems.

Actually the way it ended for Neil was he got shot one night directly beneath one of his eyes and so he called it quits. The gun was just a pellet gun but it stung, and he needed a band-aid so that was it for his thug life.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which skinny celeb is so far up her own backside she turns up late for every event and demands everyone else wait for her Queen-like arrival? Get a grip...

Today's Blind Items

#1 - I actually thought this actress already had the herp. Guess I was wrong. It happens. This week, this C list actress who used to be B list and on a hit network show now canceled, with some B+ name recognition filled her first prescription for Valtrex. Not that anyone should ever even contemplate having unprotected sex with her anyway.

#2 - How do I describe this guy? B list actor with a name that seems to cause some confusion. Very little television. Nope this guy is all about films. Big films, Top grossing films, independent films. Great actor but also underrated. Award winning but nothing big. On the set of his newest film he had a little thing going with a co-star. Nothing too blind-itemish about that. The co-star is married so that adds a little spice, but what really makes it blind worthy is the fact that this married B+ list co-star with A name recognition is a guy.

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

If Reese Witherspoon in a Kimono doesn't make it to the top of the photos, then this is a world I just don't want to live in. Plus she kind of looks hot like this.

Arabella Musgrave has the same kind of parties that I do at my house. The only difference is that I like cardboard cutouts of historical figures. If I had these sitting around my bed, I might start shooting. Karl is already inanimate enough. This would just freak me the hell out if I woke up at 3am and saw Karl staring at me.
The one and only David Byrne. Seriously, I don't think there is another David Byrne who also had a group called Talking Heads. Just don't see it.

As much as I love Dave, I have to say that Charlie Rose is probably my favorite talk show host. A kiss ass for sure, but since I don't know who half his guests are anyway, I don't feel that he has really got those kneepads broken in yet.
Well, pigs must be flying somewhere or Satan (Denise Richards) is playing hockey because Claire Danes is smiling.
I'm sure there are lots and lots of you who think Ben Barnes is just a tall drink of water. To me he kind of looks like a big goober.
And the purpose of this dress is? Maybe she is having lunch with Pimpa or something.
Gary Sinise on the set of CSI.

No matter where you look, I can almost guarantee you that no tabloid is going to post a photo of Griffin Dunne. To me, excluding an actor who did the Toonces movie is just a crime against humanity.
Our first NASCAR driver. Greg Biffle. It will also be the last if they all have to wear a corsage in public.
I think there have been some baseball players, but can't think of any off the top of my head. There have been some people who play with balls, but not sure about baseball. Anyway this is Paul O'Neil and he won the Father Of The Year Award. I think we need to kind of gloss over the fact that Randy Jackson also got an award from the same group.
I actually think David Beckham is a pretty damn good dad.

You know on Project Runway when they go buy fabric and don't get enough of it so they go around to the other contestants and start borrowing different scraps? Those contestants usually get kicked off. Now you know why.

"Now, wait a second. If this is leap year, does that mean next year is 2010?"
John Leguizamo and his new tough guy look. Kind of works.
This is why you never accept acid from a stranger.
Jakob Dylan - New York City
It isn't that Marko Jaric isn't interested in his date. I mean come on, it's Adriana Lima. Even Jake Gyllenhaal would be interested in dating her. No, unfortunately Marko just doesn't want to go to the ballet. He's probably hoping the Met opened a sports bar or something in the lobby.

M.I.A. - New York City
So, sit me in front of the television and offer me 24 hours of Miley Cyrus or 24 hours of Miranda Cosgrove and I will take Miranda Cosgrove every time. Just make sure School Of Rock gets thrown in there a few times.
Michael Buble - Perth
This is FHM India's sexiest woman in the world. Her name is Katrina Kaif.

"So, there I was minding my own business when this guy says, 'Hey Rosie, nice tits.' So, I said to him f**k you, but you really think they are nice?" "Oh, and let me tell you about the time that I went down to the store, and everyone was like 'hey Rosie, you are looking good.'" "Well, of course I was looking good, but I just worked it anyway." "Oh, was I supposed to present some type of award or something?"

My Princess seems in awe of someone who actually smiles and has facial expressions. Learning is a slow process.
What can I say, I am a fan of Ne-Yo.
So, here is the conclusion I have reached vis a vis Nicole Richie and her now 8 consecutive days of going out. Parents work and we don't give them crap about going to work for 10 hours a day so I am not going to give crap to parents who are actors just because they go out for a few hours each night.
I'm not saying that Molly Sims is fun to hang out with because she is a two fisted drinker, but it certainly doesn't hurt.

Lets see. A NASCAR driver, a baseball player and now an author. Hell, all I need now is a candlestick maker and I can have a f**king nursery rhyme. This is Stefan Merrill Black by the way. Say hello Stefan.

Seth Myers has been here before, but I don't know if I have ever told everyone to steal "See this Movie." It is extremely funny, but in a very surreal kind of way. Great now I sound like an art critic. I liked it.
Scott Harrison founded charity:water which is one of the very best organizations I can think of. However, his choice of friends. Not so much.
When you wear what Savage is wearing, you are just saying to the world..suck it. I admire that.
Our reader photo. Wow. Ummm. She certainly has lots of guns. I think Tom Cruise would be more terrified by the fact that a woman was in front of him.
It's a Zooey and she looks great by herself. What would happen though if she was not alone. Lets give her a prom.

Now we have a deer in the headlights prom photo. She got knocked up that night so they got married. What if they had a family photo?
With the handsy father-in-law.
The Cribs - Polzeath, UK
Sarah Michelle Gellar on the set of Veronika Decides To Die.

Jillian Grace Is Spawning A Spade

First of all I have a tough time swallowing that David Spade actually has sex with women. More correctly I should say I have a tough time saying that women are allowing David Spade to have sex with them, and apparently unprotected sex at that. Former Playboy Playmate Jillian Grace confirmed she is having David Spade's baby. David who basically had a one night stand with Jillian has been reluctant to confirm he is the father and I can see why.

Anyone who has sex with David Spade will obviously have sex with just about anyone and therefore if I were Spade I would be cautious. That, combined with the fact that he probably didn't even know what to do when he was given the opportunity to have sex makes this that much more surprising.

According to In Touch, the pair don't even speak to each other but are trying to come to some type of child support agreement before the baby is born in late summer. In case you were curious or just love traffic accidents, Spade is 43 and Jillian is 22. Jillian is expecting a daughter.

Daily Mirror Blind Item - Part 2

Which attractive female pop star who claims to have a boyfriend is more into the ladies? Her aides are terrified ...

Buy Me Something Dammit

Mariah Carey must be feeling the pain. Here she did the whole wedding thing and all she got was a money grubbing husband. No gifts, not attention, no gifts, no party, no gifts, and last but not least, no gifts. Mariah who loves material things much more than any other person who has walked the earth before her is trying to correct that little oversight. According to the NY Post Mariah decided she didn't want to go through the trouble of some formal reception or party or anything that would possibly cost her a dime. She already has a husband who does that. No, what Mariah wants and the only thing she cares about is the gift. The present. The swag.

To that end, Mariah headed on over to Target. No? Pottery Barn? No? Oh. Well in the spirit of Get Smart, opening in theatres on June 20th, "Would you believe Bergdorf Goodman?" Well you should believe it because that is where she registered. Nothing under five figures. Mariah had her assistant e-mail the richest 100 people Mariah knows and told them where she was registered and to get her something.

Ahh true love.

Curt Smith Album Release Party - Reader Review

Curt Smith Album Release Party

By Gilded Lily

Turns out I'm incapable of writing a detached, professional review of tonight's concert. So I'm going for uncensored fangirl instead. Last night, Curt Smith, half of Tears for Fears and close, personal friend of Jason Lewis, celebrated the American release of his first album in
ten years, *Halfway, pleased* at the Motley Bird Nest in Los Angeles. Thanks to Curt and CDAN's offer, my friend and I managed to snag entry to this once-in-a-lifetime performance.

There were roughly about 60-80 in attendance, including a handful of fans who had been drawn from a lottery through Curt's website. One of the lucky recipients of a golden ticket told me that fans had flown in from Seattle and New York to be here tonight. It was not your typical
Hollywood hipster crowd; the people were just too normal. My friend and I finally agreed it was a mix of fans, Silverlake/Echo Park artists and middle-age PTA-types. Two hoochie mamas teetering by on high heels stuck out like sore thumbs among the crowd. Only two
celebrity sightings – "that guy from that gay show 'Noah's Arc'" and David Reynolds, co-screenwriter of Oscar-nominated "Finding Nemo." (pictured with Curt).

The Motley Bird Nest is a cross between an art gallery and a very rich friend's duplex, complete with a rooftop terrace. Food was artfully arranged catered appetizers (too bad I was too nervous to keep anything down). Open bar featured mixers of the Motley Bird's boutique line of energy drinks. None for me, thanks, I was leaving my prime spot at the foot of the stage for no call of nature.

We were treated to acoustic sets of three or four songs with breaks in between. Curt was with his band: producer/songwriter Charlton Pettus on guitar, Nick "too Italian for words" D'Virgilio on drums and Doug Petty on keyboards. But Curt himself didn't play any instruments. No
props, as he put it ("I don't know what to do with my hands"). No mike. Just him and his stark, delicate voice in a small, quiet space - the perfect venue for a beautiful, fragile album such as *Halfway, pleased.*

The first set included two songs from *Halfway, pleased*, including the sensual "Seven of Sundays" and ended with an acoustic Mad World. The second set only got better, starting with two songs Curt had written about his father and mother. It was an emotionally wrought
performance, and the entire audience was choked-up by the end.

Curt proposed doing something a little lighter, to which Charlton replied, "do we have any of those?" They did, and it was "Everybody Wants to Rule the World," which got the audience singing along softly. The set ended with Curt singing a lullaby of Coldplay's "Yellow" to
his daughters as they sleepily watched him from their chair. And when Curt sang to them, you could sense there was no one else in the room.

There was talk of a possibility of a third set, but that intensely personal second one seemed to have done Curt in. Nevertheless, Curt and the band graciously mingled with the rest of the crowd in between sets and continued to hang around on the rooftop a good hour after the
last one. My friend shared native LA stories with Nick, and Doug drilled us on our knowledge of other 80s bands. I didn't get to talk to Charlton much, but I did get a photo with him. Curt patiently posed for every requested photo and signed every CD and photo, including my friend's. He was very impressed with her ticket stub from the '85 Hollywood Palladium show. He's one of the sweetest musicians I've had the fortune of meeting, and it's clear that he surrounds himself with similarly down-to-earth people.

Thank you, Curt and EL, for the chance to witness an enchanting evening. I have developed an even greater appreciation for this gorgeous and brave album.

*Halfway, pleased* is available for purchase or download. You can also hear samples at Curt's website.

Sarah Larson In Playboy? Wow! Stop The F**king Presses

Didn't see that coming did you? Former cocktail waitress with brand new implants and no money coming in? What is a girl to do? Hmmm. She could go back to waitressing and guys all pawing her while they play the nickel slots. Dropping a couple of nickels on her tray as, they say, "there's more where that came from baby. I may not be George Clooney, but my pennies and nickels are just as good."

She could keep hanging out on red carpets looking for some balding, fat producer who wants a trophy. Or, hey here's a bright idea. She could just take off all her clothes for Playboy and live off those earnings for awhile.

Guess which option she chose. What? Did some of you go with the senior citizen in Vegas with the grabby hands and no teeth.

Apparently Sarah has accepted the offer of Playboy and will be stripping down and showing to the world what George Clooney saw every night. Apparently George wasn't too fond of the implants though. I guess maybe Sarah knew deep down that it wasn't going to last and she would need a career where fake breasts would come in handy. Guess she wasn't really thinking of heading off to Vandalay Industries or something.

Also working against the whole waitressing thing is that Sarah considers herself too famous now for it. Ummm. Honestly as much as I have used her photo over the past year I wouldn't recognize her if she was sitting across from me with a George Clooney blow up doll. So, I think the famous for having sex with an actor thing is not really being famous, it just means you are good in bed because you lasted longer than one night.

You Have Got To Be F**king Kidding Me

I would say 95% of you don't know who Michael Poryes is, so let me clue you in. He is one of the co-creators of Hannah Montana and quite possibly the world's biggest hypocrite. Mikey gave an interview yesterday and said that Miley Cyrus shouldn't have to deal with so much press and attention at such a young age, and that the media should just leave her alone completely.

WTF? Seriously? You have got to be f**king kidding me. How do you think she originally got in front of the media? Hmmmm. Was it you? I seem to recall about a million interviews she had to do for her tour and for her show and for the film of her tour. You didn't seem to want to keep her away from the media when there was money to be made in your pocket. Was it the media's idea to have her pose for Vanity Fair? Was there some pap who kept shouting at Miley to go take naked photos for Vanity Fair and she just finally couldn't handle the pressure and did it?

Was it the media who kept releasing all the half naked photos from her MySpace? I don't think so. Hell, it might have been you Mikey for all we know. Contrary to what you may think Mikey, I actually think the press has been pretty easy on Miley. They don't go looking for stories on her because somehow someone in your organization or Disney or her dad just keeps time releasing stories or photos whenever Miley threatens to leave our immediate conscience.

So, forgive me if I think you are full of s**t, and if you want her to have no attention and to be given the chance of a normal life as you put it, then why don't you let her quit the show, stop touring and let her go to high school? Hmmm. Oh, I forgot, then you would have to find some other teen to exploit.

Cameron Diaz Needs Help With Cussing

I really thought Cameron Diaz would have a dirtier mouth. I just always have expected that she is an every other word F bomb kind of lady. Apparently not because even when she gets royally pissed she isn't real creative with her choice of insults.

For some reason Cameron was in an Abercrombie & Fitch store. Even more surprising was she found something she wanted to buy. It was a t-shirt with the words "Jesus Goat" printed on the front. The store only had one left and Cameron wasn't getting it. Why? Well no one actually knows.

My guess? One of the guys or girls working at the store wants to do someone else who works at the mall and has promised them the shirt. Or, the staff could just be pissed that they make $8 an hour and so wanted to stick it to Cameron for no other reason. I guess they could have been big Justin Timberlake fans and somehow blame Cameron for Justin's descent into complete a*holeness as opposed to just being the partial a*hole he used to be.

So many possibilities. Well Cameron was ticked off and threw a tantrum right there in the store. She did the fake tears bit, did the don't you know who I am bit, and closed with the I'm going to call your boss bit. None of it worked so she stormed out as only she can and as she departed she uttered the words d**k fiends. D**k fiends? WTF kind of cussing is that? Is she saying the employees like d**k? Isn't that calling the kettle black?

If you want to get some attention you need to come up with something much better than that. More memorable. More, "I can't believe she just said that."

After Cameron left, she apparently realized there are 18,000 A&F stores just in the LA area and so went and got one.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which celeb has taken a vow of celibacy in a drastic bid to curb his womanising ways? He's desperate to keep his sexual appetite - and the trouble it causes him - at bay...

Today's Blind Items

Word of advice to all actors, actresses, or just "everyday people" it is probably not a good idea to have an affair with someone who works for a cell phone provider. It would also behoove you to be smart enough to figure out this before you go through 4 cell phones.

An Academy Award winning actor who is married with child(ren) is aging, but not told. Perhaps he is going through a mid-life crisis, or perhaps he is trying to relive his glory days when women actually thought he was hot. For whatever reason, our actor decided to hit on the woman at the Verizon Wireless store. She was less than half his age which makes her legal, but barely. From what I understand she had no clue who he was even when he filled out the enrollment form. Someone told her later after he had left. Well, being the idiot that most guys are, our actor was back the next day because he couldn't get something to work on the phone. Now informed who our actor was, the salesperson hit on him hard. The actor was flattered and asked her to lunch. Lunch led to another lunch which led to knocking boots back at her place. Another note to those having affairs. Roommates do not keep secrets well.

Our actor enjoyed his time with the salesperson but thought it best to end things because he was, after all, married. Our salesperson had other plans and decided to call our actor...often. Our actor changed phone numbers. But he didn't change companies. So, it must have been a shock when he started receiving calls on his new number from our salesperson. This process repeated several more times until our actor finally figured out that perhaps he should change numbers and companies. Guess he didn't mind paying the early termination fee. So what should he do about the packages that keep arriving in the mail? Oh sure. The idiot put down his home address when he signed up for service. Good thing he doesn't work much so he can stay home to get those packages.

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

A first time appearance in the blog, let alone the photos for Delroy Lindo. I just think Delroy is totally under appreciated as an actor and doesn't get the attention he deserves. Love him.
I know its Pride Month and all, but I think Cheyenne Jackson and the fan thing is maybe going a bit overboard.
Ben Harper - Los Angeles
Hey look ma, it's some Beastie Boys. If you have never seen them live, you need to do so. YouTube clips just don't cut it.
With Hank Azaria's hefty new pay raise you would think he could afford a better lover than Kevin Pollack. Oh? Not lovers? My bad. I just kind of assumed since he was with Helen Hunt that Hank must like guys. Too far? Well when there aren't very many photos, you kind of have to go with the flow a little.

So I read fashion magazines for men. I can't hope to afford anything in them and will never get out of the Big &Tall shops, but I do read them. I thought skinny ties were out. So, is there some type of exception if you are a designer? Does Kenneth Cole say to himself, I want to look like a cross between Michael Lohan and Kevin Bacon so I'm going with the skinny tie?
Johnny Depp on the set of his new film.
The rarely photographed together, Henry Rollins and Jeaneane Garofalo.
I guess it is true. All witches do have cats, although this cat looks like it is going to run for its life the second she is let go.
Well since there is a dearth of photos today, I thought I would have a contest determining which obscure Australian actor you would rather do. Your first choice is Toby Allan.

Your second choice is Matthew Newton. But before you make your decision, be advised that Matthew went to the event with
Pia Miranda who has somehow forgotten that bras are for beneath the dress and not on the outside. Common mistake.
Metro - Polzeath, UK
Nick Cannon just seems to be saying to himself, "Mariah wet and without makeup is not what I signed up for."Now I know why she spends so much time getting ready and has so many people working for her. It must take an army to make her look halfway decent.

Tommy Hilfiger at his engagement party. His affianced looks thrilled to be there. She is probably trying to do the math in her head of what she will get when she says "I do." Meanwhile the photographers are frantically trying to say, "hey, you are getting married. Look like you enjoy each other. Get closer."

As the future Mrs. Hilfiger slowly draws away from Tommy. Look at that fake smile. Meanwhile, the photographers are saying, "look, I know your kids didn't even bother to show up which is saying something, but could you at least give us a kiss."
I'm guessing maybe he slipped her a little something to get her to kiss him, but he definitely wasn't slipping her the tongue. OK< everyone can go be sick now.
The looks like this could be something obscene in about 30 seconds photo of the day.
I think this is the first time Nicole Sullivan has been on a red carpet since she had her baby. Looks fantastic.

Vampire Weekend - Miami

I know many of you adore Thomas Jane, but I swear if paisley or any of its byproducts make a return because of this photo, I will ban him for life.
This bride had to wait to get married until Tom Hanks finished filming his scene for his new film. So, he made it up to the couple by escorting them to the church where she was getting married and slipping them a little wedding present as well.
Our lovely reader photo of the day. Yes, it is MySpace-ish but that is because her daughter was showing her how to take a MySpace type photo. I didn't know there were such lessons, but live and learn.
This is Thomas Langlois Lefroy. Who the hell is he do you ask? He is the inspiration for Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice and this is the only known image of the guy Jane Austen made famous.

Lainey Blind Item Part 2

Had a baby not too long ago, supposedly a happy family. But there’s been a little blip. And it’s not just the late nights. Seems she’s been a little bored with domesticity and has had a naughty flirtation. Saucy text messages and heated exchanges, some suggestive touching and closed door petting were spicing up her life but the subject of her giddy infatuation was not the father of her child. They didn’t seal the deal but it came very, very close.

Even worse, he was a friend and a business associate of her significant other who found out about the illicit activity and shut it down quickly, sending angry missives back to the betrayer to “stay the f&ck away” from her. As a result, the dude is out of a job. And, finding himself unemployed, he has saved the email evidence and is threatening to go public, sell them off to one of the rags. Word is they are in the process of paying him off.

She meanwhile is repentant and has redevoted herself to her relationship after groveling successfully for forgiveness.

Crisis temporarily averted…but for how long?

Mr. Blonde Becomes Mr. Nuts

Michael Madsen got to see a side of the UK that most American tourists don't get a chance to see. Michael Madsen got to see the inside of a mental facility. Seems that Michael may have done just a bit of over medicating and as a result went off in the Dorchester Hotel.

Saturday he checked in with his wife and daughter and everything was just fine. He had just finished shooting a film and this was going to be a chance to relax and unwind. After that it all went downhill. By Sunday he was in a ballroom at the hotel yelling and screaming at guests inside. He had shown up in the ballroom after disturbing all the guests near his hotel room because he and his wife spent the better part of Sunday morning screaming and yelling at each other. I'm sure their daughter never even noticed. When the police finally arrived they found Madsen in a hotel ballroom and had to subdue him before they could cuff him. He had bruises and cuts over his body and was taken to the mental hospital out of concern for his health.

There were no charges filed because there really are never any charges filed in the UK. Is anything a crime there? I know Blaaaaaaake is in jail, but I think that is more of a stupidity thing than any actual crime. He might have also just needed a break from Amy.

Chicks Dig The Yellow Seersucker

Joe Simpson might technically be married, but you just know he isn't living with the wife anymore because no wife is going to let her husband walk out the door wearing the combination above. Not going to happen. So, when is the last time you saw a manager of a singer talk about his clients on national television? How about never. So, why on earth would Joe Simpson go on national television to talk about his clients and his daughters?

Two words. Fame Whore.

The only thing that makes Joe Simpson different than Michael Lohan is that Joe Simpson's kids actually make money and he gets a piece of it. The money that is. A piece of his daughters would be illegal. Looking is ok, but no getting a piece.

In an interview with Extra yesterday, after first taking the time to laugh at Mark McGrath, Joe said that he loves Pete Wentz and is honored to have him as a son-in-law. He would have preferred a pro football player that was naive and gullible with his money, but Pete will do until he can find Ashlee someone else.

When asked about Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo, this is what Joe had to say, "That's going well -- she is as happy as I've seen her in years. He's a great guy. I love Tony to death -- he's just a good kid."

Wow, talk about a man crush. Joe must be wearing out those kneepads.

Cash Warren Sells His Daughter

I kind of like that headline. Reminds me of the Blues Brothers when they are in the very nice restaurant and John Belushi asks one man, "How much for the women?"

It didn't take Cash Warren long to start exploiting his daughter. I'm sure that he will also throw her up on his website on a fairly regular basis but only as a pay-per-view basis. This is one girl who will be sold on a basis that will only rival a Larry Birkhead kid.

"Shake it baby. Shake it for daddy so he can earn some money."

"But she's just a newborn. "

"She'll learn, just like her mom did."

Good times in the Warren household. Apparently Cash has been asking around to see how much he can get for some photos of Jessica Alba and the baby. He wants to be in them too so he can prove to chicks he can get hot girls.

It's kind of funny that they didn't make a deal with a magazine prior to the baby being born. I'm guessing someone might have had some doubt about the identity of the father? Hmmm? Why would you wait until after the kid is born? Just in case she came out with a gold tooth and singing "In da Club," they decided to wait.

It does look like that Josh Alba was at least able to see his niece. Of course it was by cell phone photo because he is not actually allowed to go over to the house. Not famous enough and not a woman who will put out for Cash, so not a visitor. Josh, who is probably the antithesis of everything Jessica said the baby was gorgeous. For the record, Josh good. Jessica bad.

DNfromMN - Movie Review - Incredible Hulk

THE INCREDIBLE HULK
Release Date: 6/13/08

The Story: On the run for 5 years after a biological experiment gone wrong, General Ross (William Hurt) has finally tracked down Bruce Banner (Edward Norton). Banner’s spent the last 5 years working via 1980s style internet chat with an anonymous “Mr. Blue” to find a cure for hulking out (“You don’t want to see me when I’m angry.”). Ross’s daughter and Banner’s former girlfriend Betty (Liv Tyler) attempts to help Banner when she can. Gen. Ross has recruited Blodsky (Tim Roth), a career soldier, who becomes obsessed with tracking down the Hulk.

I had the same feeling watching this movie as I did watching Kung-Fu Panda. I’d seen it all before. It’s okay, but there’s nothing about it that I would say was remarkable (other than cameos by Stan Lee, Lou Ferrigno, and Robert Downey, Jr.). This was a combination of the recent Spiderman movies and every version of King Kong (even down to some of the scenes—the cave scene in particular). The Hulk isn’t supposed to be King Kong, the misunderstood and captured creature. It’s the other way around; it’s supposed to be about a man with an anger management problem, who is slave to a creature.

However good an actor Ed Norton can be, there’s nothing special about his role. This is not Iron Man, the far superior 2008 Marvel Comics blockbuster. I will say that they’ve done a better job of capturing the CGI essence of Ed Norton, and the 2008 Hulk is more lifelike than the Ang Lee/Eric Bana version; but it’s still CGI.

I prefer Sam Elliott and Jennifer Connelly in the Ross family roles to Hurt and Tyler. It could also have been a matter of the writing as William Hurt is one of my favorites at playing evil (see A History of Violence and Mr. Brooks for some recent malice). Tim Roth is another one of my favorites, and I was hoping he’d have more to do than gnaw on scenery (particularly since I fell in love with him again recently after seeing one of my favorite thinking movies of last year Youth Without Youth).

Why can’t they make a Hulk movie well? The Lee/Bana version was similarly lackluster. I have such fond memories of the old Ferrigno Hulk. It’s campy and dated by today’s standards, but it had a pulse. Maybe they had the time to develop the relationships between the characters over the course of multiple episodes, which they can’t seem to do in the film versions. Maybe it’s because the Hulk TV series was more about the story than the action set pieces. Or maybe, it’s because they had a human hulk.

What it’s Worth: $6.00. It’s nothing special, but if you spent a hot summer afternoon in an air-conditioned theater you wouldn’t be overly disappointed. It probably is better seen on the big screen due to some of the action pieces, but it’s not a movie people will be telling their friends that they have to go see. If you’re on a budget, I’d give a much stronger recommendation to see Iron Man.

What else opens this weekend:
The Happening – M. Night Shyamalan’s next crapsterpiece (per the movie buzz and lack of critics/pre-screenings). Honestly, I have to say I liked the idea of it, until I saw the red-band trailer, which tells you what the “3rd stage” of the happening is (only hinted at in the tv spots). It’s something that hurts me emotionally. I will probably see it, but I’m predisposed to not liking it.

Well They Were Damn Good Fakes

A bunch of photograph experts have got together and after laughing themselves silly for several weeks have determined that those photos of Oscar de la Hoya in the fishnets last year were actually fake photos. Immediately after the report was released, the stripper who allegedly took the photos decided for some reason to drop her $25M slander lawsuit against Oscar that she had filed when Oscar had claimed they were fake, thus ruining her reputation. Honey, even if you were telling the truth, you are a stripper/escort who tried to sell photos of your trick in lingerie. What the hell kind of reputation do you have to uphold?

Ooops. Oh well. They were fun though and for a day or so the world got to laugh at Oscar. Has his career been ruined? I don't think so. Hell, now he knows that he can have a career as a tranny when the boxing thing is done. He wouldn't be a very good looking tranny, but he could make a couple of bucks if he lived next door to say Eddie Murphy.

Plus, he made himself to a whole bunch of fans who never knew who he was. Gossip readers who don't follow boxing might have only remembered him for that crazy love triangle between Oscar, Dennis Quaid and Shanna Moakler. Shanna probably called Oscar after the photos came out and told him they would still be married if he had dressed like that for her. I thought it was very funny that she never came out and said the father of her children would not dress like that which is why I thought the photos were probably real. How do you not stick up for the father of your kids?

The Evil EL Is Pregnant

So last night I heard the news I was dreading almost as much as Paris Hilton being knocked up. The level of pain in this one goes more personal though. I can feel the horror unleashing in my body. Also, due to the 99% Paris ban on this site, I could have probably got through 9 months relatively pain free of a Paris pregnancy and I would have been busy waiting for the seven signs of the apocalypse to be fulfilled so that would have been interesting.

The phone call last night was a bunch of me asking, "are you sure?" Wondering aloud if it might be some child she ate as a sacrifice, or the indigestible food from her restaurant creating some kind of Besos Beer Belly. Then I asked if it was Tony's. Apparently it is, and the question was not found amusing. At least she could have got knocked up by Mario Lopez and made this thing more interesting.

Site wise I can get through the Eva Longoria pregnancy because, well it is not like she is on the site everyday. Personally it will be much tougher as the person who told me was so excited that I know it will be 9 months of hearing her friends screaming and happy and just being, well friends. The fact that we share a set of friends will just further add fuel to my misery. I may take up drinking absinthe. Maybe then I could just zone out until sometime during the baby shower, or its graduation from high school.

This is the only time you will hear me say the words, so, enjoy them. Congratulations Eva. Damn, that was harder than passing a kidney stone.

Lainey Blind Item

It was an unexpected split. Many were led to believe erroneously, me included, that their end had more to do with his machinations than with hers. As it turns out however the reason behind the break up was the dreaded OverReach.

What sent him scrambling were comments like this, dropped casually into conversation:

“I forgot my pill.”

“I’m a few days late.”

And then calling his family, chatting them up, hinting at the prospect of a baby, raising their hopes that a grandchild would be in their future.

It’s the betrayal that disappointed him most. Apparently he wasted no time putting an end to her plans, pretty much standing over her while she packed up, sending her away with not even a glance back.

He’s been drowning his sorrows in cocktails ever since. Not alone, of course but it was definitely a disappointment. He’d intended to keep her around for a long time. Especially given the fact that he was still able to have his fun on the side. It’s not every day you find a girl who’s ok with extra curricular activities so long as she’s the only one who gets a set of keys.

In the end though, her greed brought an end to the sweet ride. Shelf Ass Jessica Biel could stand to learn a thing or two from this example. Overreaching prompts a steep fall.

Today's Blind Items

This one is stranger than Slash's mom having sex with David Bowie while Bowie's wife and kid wait in the living room for them to finish.

This former B list television actor on one of the biggest network dramas ever, and now a C list actor with B+ name recognition has some strange rules in his home. He and his wife have kids.

1. Apparently both of the parents are obsessed with germs and bugs (the insect kind, not the germ kind.) Each child must inspect the other children for any ticks or fleas on the body of the other before they go to sleep each night.

2. Each child must wash and dry all their bed linens every day.

3. No sugar in the house. None.

4. The parents take turns sleeping on the floor of each child's bedroom once weekly to ensure the children are sleeping normally. (not sure how they do this if the parents themselves are asleep)

5. Despite the fact that all the children are in at least elementary school, they each have a baby monitor in their room so the parents know what they are doing at all times.

6. Because of the germ phobia, any guests of the kids who come over to play are confined to one room of the house, and one room only. No sleep overs.

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

The women of The Golden Girls getting the attention they sorely deserve at the TV Land awards. Love them, what they have done in their careers, and loved the show.
Benjamin McKenzie makes his first (I think) appearance on the photos. With as many people that have been in the photos it amazes me how many each week are still brand new to it all.

Brandon Molale also makes his first appearance.
Angela Kinsey gave so many interviews about this red carpet and how she thought she was going to look terrible because it is so soon after the birth of her child. Ummm. She looks pretty damn good to me.
The Ashton Holmes getting ready checklist. Sunscreen? Check. Hairspray? Check? Lipstick? Lots.
It's the hooker at a beach in Jersey. I would have thought Ashley would have been on some rich guy's yacht in the Med at this time of the year, but instead she went to the Jersey shore with mom. She still has that hooker instinct though because she was allegedly charging people to take photos with her.
Dawn Wells aka Mary Ann. She looks great. Must be the pot.

"Mom, why do all these people keep calling you whore? I thought your name was Denise."
David Bisbal - New York
It took years and years for Courteney Cox to do a show I liked and then it got canceled.
Barry Williams and his "guest." I bet she does a great Cindy, Jan or Marcia. Whatever Barry needs to get in the mood.
Jodie Sweetin on the red carpet just screams, "hey, come on over to my double wide later."

The one and only Jack Klugman. Thanks for all the great tv Jack. I need to go watch some Quincy tonight.
So, if your kids ever start taking drugs, pop in Grease in the DVD player, then show this picture.
Gary Coleman the divorcee'. Kind of has a nice ring to it huh?
Edward Norton looks great, but explain to me again why he went out with Courtney Love. I understand the whole Salma Hayek thing. Definitely. But Courtney Love?

At what age is too old for braids? Not saying Marcia Cross looks bad, just wondering if there is some cut off. Like Spandex or thongs. This weekend, I was out and about and I saw a woman who was about 80, maybe 85, and she bent over to get something at the grocery store and I saw a thong. I just walked away from the food cart and left.

The amazing Lea Thompson and she is even more amazing with all the work she does for breast cancer research.
I wonder if Liv Tyler would be attracted to me if I stalked her. It has never worked so far, but there is always a first time.
It's like an 80's theme today and Lori Loughlin fits right in with that.
The looks like two women having sex photo of the day. The photo was captioned Katie Cassidy (top) and Whitney Cummings (bottom) which I thought kind of presumptuous of WireImage. How do they know who is the top in the relationship?

The reader photo of the day. 80's kind of flashback photo. The reader is on the left. Love this photo.

I'm glad someone told me this was Horseshack, because I don't know if I would have guessed it on my own.
More from The Office. Just because it is my damn blog and I love the show.
What every mother is wearing to play golf these days.
Martin Mull just cracks me up thinking about him.
Zachary Quinto doesn't do much for me, but I know all of you love him.

Wisin y Yandel - New York
Because Vanessa Williams looks so damn good in this, I will overlook the fact for today that she was once married to a Laker.
One of the top 20 coolest people I know. Sara Gilbert.
Rev Theory - Kansas City

The Fights Must Have Been Impressive

In her divorce filing last month, Jennifer Murray, the estranged wife of actor Bill Murray made it seem like she was a little angel herself and that Bill was the big bad demon who was abusive, an addict, a cheater and all around ass. Jennifer on the other hand, always wore white, never cussed, smoke, or drank, and welcomed people to her front door with cool refreshments.

Well according to the NY Post, Murray did have some visitors to her house back in March. Twice. Seems that police were called to the home twice that day because Jennifer was tanked to her eyeballs in booze. In the first call, police responded to neighbors complaints that Jennifer was screaming constantly at her children. I'm seriously doubting that these homes shared a common wall. They are probably separated by a fairly large distance so she must have been really letting those kids have it to be that pissed. They must have been watching Stripes.

When the police got there, Jennifer slammed the door in their faces. Unlike in COPS, where they would have tased her ass, they just left. Later that night the cops came out again, this time because all the kids had run to a neighbor's home because Jennifer was on a rampage. Apparently the kids were performing Caddyshack in the basement and she went violent in a hurry. According to the kids, she became physical with them. No charges were filed.

Bill wasn't home at the time, but I bet when these two both got to drinking, it must have been a war. I'm sure the kids will be fine though. No lasting effects from that type of household. Please.

NY Post Blind Items

WHICH star of a new TV hit has Hollywood scrambling to the pharmacy? He's spreading herpes around town like wildfire .

WHICH gorgeous socialite has a secret side to her sex life? While she's often on the arm of a guy at social functions, we hear she prefers to go home with a lady .

WHICH hit TV show's cast members are as bad in real life as the characters in the plotline? At a recent party, two of the hot actors held up the bathroom line while cutting their own lines in the stalls.

And How Was Your Weekend?

Even though I don't regularly post on the weekends, I do check the internet for deaths,arrests, new porn from Miley Cyrus, that type of thing. One person who seemed to have an interesting weekend was Amy Winehouse who, if she were an American performer would probably never sell another album. Fortunately for her, she is in the UK and most people did not get a chance to read about her racist chants or sing-alongs as well as more drug use on video and her giving a bj to Blaaaaaake on a public stairwell. Well that is what I'm here for. People need to see it, and so it is down below. I didn't think it was possible for things to get any worse for Amy, but apparently she is only just getting started.

If the racist, sex showing, drug using video were not enough, on Sunday her dad came out and admitted that Amy has been whoring it up with various guys while the hubby is rotting away in jail for assault. Good to know that dad is the one who knows who you have been seeing and how often. Of course I don't even think Amy's dad can count that high. Amy might tell him two or three or four, but in reality probably closer to 20 or 30 since Blaaaake has been in there.

Finally, the husband you have been cheating on decides on Monday to go ahead and plead guilty to assault. He might as well. Amy celebrated by having sex with an entire rainbow of guys to prove she isn't racist. She even shared her drugs which is unlike her. She doesn't think anyone other than white people are clean. I know, I know. Has she even looked at a mirror? Probably not if you think about it. Would you want to see that face? Skin condition my ass. It is something much more serious. But the truth will come out. It always does.

Anyway, in case you didn't see the video, it is below.

It's About Damn Time

The National Enquirer is reporting that Queen Latifah is going to marry her trainer. Considering the fact that the Queen has never actually come out, this might be a shock to the guys who had hopes of landing the Queen. Come on. Everyone knows, and frankly, I couldn't be happier.

Queen Latifah is going to take advantage of the new law in California that goes into effect next week and will allow her to marry her long time companion and trainer Jeanette Jenkins.

I think that the new law will bring some very interesting twists to gay and straight relationships in California and around the world. Lets say you are a closeted gay actor or actress and your partner has not really minded being hidden because, it wasn't like you could get married or something. Well now you can and the long hidden partner may start wanting to come out of the shadows and get married.

What comes first, the career or the person you want to marry? This could be very interesting.

Anne Hathaway's Boyfriend Stealing From Kids Now

I'm not sure what kind of hold Anne Hathaway's boyfriend has over her, but it must be big. Something like photos with Anne and another woman or Anne and a basketball team going at it. I just don't understand how someone who from all outward appearances has it all together can continue being with a guy like this. Well, I take that back. I guess there are lots of people who stick out abusive relationships and Brittany Murphy's husband is no winner wither. At least Anne hasn't married her guy yet. Or has she? That would explain a great deal.

According to the NY Post, Raffaello Follieri's children charity is being investigated by the NY Attorney General because it has never filled out any of the forms required of charities. Anne used to sit on the board. She got off the board last year. Nice timing Anne. Because she got off the board her rep got all indignant with the Post wondering how Anne would know anything about crooked behavior if she wasn't on the board anymore.

Umm. How about she's f**king the guy huh? Maybe she noticed that for awhile he had stopped stealing from her purse and she asked him what was going on. He said that he had found a new way to get a few bucks. Start a charity with the noble purpose of providing vaccinations to children in 3rd world countries. Get a bunch of money from donors, go to Costco and but some Tylenol in bulk to ship to the poor kids for what ails them and pocket the difference.

Well, that's how I would do it. Follieri's lawyer says this all just a misunderstanding and routine. Kind of like the $215,000 check Follieri bounced earlier this year or the $1.3M he allegedly stole from some investors so he could afford his high flying lifestyle.

Naomi Campbell Has Her D**k Cut Off

Now I know why Naomi Campbell has been spending so much time down in strange Brazilian hospitals and why her hormones are all out of whack. I honestly thought she just had some kind of anger management problem which caused her to lose control, but it was probably the fact that her d**k was being shriveled in preparation for being cut off.

Of course the above sentence is bulls**t as far as I know. It makes sense though when you consider the fact that Naomi talked about a recent operation she had so she could now have kids.
"Now I can have a child I would like one. I'm even willing to have one without a father. I know that I am ready.

She adds, "I know that with a baby I would change, I'd calm down. With a child you cannot accept compromises. You have to give your full self."

First of all, she stressed in the interview that until the operation she would have been unable to have kids. I guess it could be a reversal of a tubal ligation or something, but since this is a gossip site and speculation is our drug, I am going to go ahead with the whole d**k theory. I love also how she is completely confident that she will be able to instantly control her temper once she has a child.

How many of you are perfectly calm all the time around your kids. Never test your patience do they? Never yelled when you didn't mean to? The kid may as well be born with a target that says, "Cell Phone Here" right on its chest. Barring that, the baby shower should be filled with copies of Mommie Dearest for Naomi as well as the local abuse hot lines for the kid.

Why Would I Talk About Her Kid?

If you came here expecting a love fest about Jessica Alba and her new child, then of course you must be a first time reader. Why on earth would I talk about Jessica Alba unless of course the baby looked like Fiddy. Then, of course it would be different.

Although 99.9% of the people in this world think Nick Hogan is a disgusting excuse for a human being, it seems that he does have at least one fan. Note, just because one of his cell mates is enjoying having Nick as his bitch, does not mean he is a fan. Neither are the guys waiting their turn. No, instead Nick does have at least one fan, and get this it is a woman. I know, I know, but she's a criminal too, and has the morals of, well a Hogan so it is probably a match.

Do you remember the story of Stephanie Ragusa? She is one of a handful of teachers from Florida who all got busted around the same time for having sex with minors. In Stephanie's case, she is a very slow learner. Stephanie is 29 and was arrested on March 13 for allegedly having sex with her 16 year old student. Then, on April 15, Stephanie was arrested again for having sex with the same student again. Oh, and to complete the trifecta, she was arrested again on April 30 for doing the same damn thing. The judge revoked her bail and so she sits in prison.

With time to kill she set her sights on another minor. This time Nick Hogan. She has been sending him letters offering support and encouragement and a complimentary bj when he gets out. Of course since she is facing more than 10 charges of sex with a minor, Nick will probably be long out of his teens and her age range before she can deliver on that bj. Too bad, Nick will probably be pretty good at giving them by the time he gets out of jail.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which scoundrel politician has been carrying on an affair with a married socialite heiress for the past year, according to Miami dinner-party gossip?