Full Frontal Friday

Once again, it is that time. I want to take a second to thank again, all the readers who surf for porn, solely for the excuse that they can find something to contribute to FFF. Without your help, it would be really hard (like that?) to find enough celebrity peen to keep you all satisfied. I think we need to take a step back today and honor the huge peen we saw last week and realize that was an aberration. You just aren't going to get foot long celebrity peen every week. I can promise you that many of the guys today do seem to be ummm, already grown in their photos, so at least you have that to play with, chew on, or whatever pun you wish to insert. I guess no warning is necessary any longer. I mean Blogger has taken care of that right. I mean no one is just going to click the ok unless they are over legal age. I mean who would lie about such a thing. So if you are ready for Benjamin McKenzie and others, click here.

Benjamin McKenzie

Four For Friday - Kindness

This week four kindness items, and next week four big jackass items. The first of these is pretty obvious and I made it so because one of them could use some hugs right about now.

#1 - This sister singing duo from a foreign country were performing a show in Los Angeles one time and as usual it was completely sold out. Not a huge place, and as a result there were lots of people who were sent away without getting in. Well, there was a group of about ten girls who were not going to go anywhere and they decided they would at least sit outside the place in the hopes they could hear a few notes at least. Well somehow that news made it to the two wingers and they decided to take the entire group of girls and brought them backstage and let them watch the entire show from the the side of the stage. After the show they posed for photos, signed autographs and gave away practically anything that was giveable.

#2 - This former A list television actor on a very huge super sized hit network comedy and now someone who is trying to find some other identity other than that character either in television or film makes sure that he gives blood every two months like clockwork. He has been doing this now for almost ten years all with no fanfare or attention.

#3 - Wow this actress is the epitome of a B/C lister. Everyone knows her because she has had some great roles on some great television shows and some films. Everytime she gets her own series, it doesn't do so well, but she is incredibly well liked. Right now she is filming a remake/sequel to one of my favorite films of all time from the 70's. I'm cheesy that way. Anyway, when she is in LA, she volunteers at an after school program which helps kids with their homework and to give them adult guidance they may not get at home. When she is filming in a different city, she calls around and tries to do the same thing at other schools on a temporary basis.

#4 - Is this actor A list? Interesting question. He was an A list action film star and then kept giving it all away. Now he is probably still considered A list by definition, but probably more a B. Well in the past several years, this actor has without any publicity given away about $250,000 to various SPCA charities and other pet organizations. Turns out the guy everyone always thinks is a jerk is actually a pretty nice guy.

Random Photos Part One

I want to make it clear that I am not reviving the whole reader photo thing right now. For those of you who have sent in your photos, I have them and am keeping them in a safe place while making little macaroni Christmas ornaments out of them. I figured I would take a little break until November and December and start that up again. However, if you just happened to be wandering through a bookstore yesterday and saw Paul Giamatti and convinced him to pose with you then it is actually news. Thus, you get your photo in the random photos. Of course, you should also let us know if he was buying porn or poetry, but the photo alone will do if any of that is not possible.

Hey, it's the other Lawrence brothers. In this case it is Andrew and Matthew.
Just in case you were wondering how you could possibly contribute to the world of horrific fashion mistakes, Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen are releasing a coffee table book. So buy a copy or two and let them keep living the high life. Now, in what is surely going to lead to a sibling rivalry, half the books have Ashley on the cover and Mary Kate on the back, while the other half of the books are reversed. Who will sell more copies?

One of my favorite US soccer players, Coby Jones. He was so fast. Too bad our team was always crap when he played.

Yeah, big deal. Lets see them do that with me up there.
Billy Idol - London
Have to admit that Alicia Silverstone looks great here. Still a television jinx of epic proportions but she looks good.
Speaking of looking good. I had about given up hope of Debi Mazar ever taking another great candid, but again I was wrong. Really nice.

Daniel Craig. Come on. Do you think I would leave the guy out if he was in town at a premiere.
I even gave him to you twice.
A rare sighting. Both of the brothers Masterson in the same photograph.
Meh. Just know that some of you are curious by nature, so thought I would throw them up there so you can see what they look like today. It's not like Christopher Knight and Adrianne Curry aren't promoting the hell out of themselves everyday, but just in case you wanted to see them, or throw darts at them, here they are.

Don't throw darts at Gary Cole though. Didn't even realize when I posted it, but you have a Brady above and a Brady below. That hasn't happened since the original television show when Greg and Marcia got it on.

Fabian, Frankie Avalon, Bobby Rydell - Morristown, NJ
Can you call an actress adorable, because Emma Stone looks just that.
Eva Longoria holding on to Kate Beckinsale for dear life so the photographer won't move on to someone else.
Is that a bad angle, or is Emile Hirsch getting himself a nice pair of man boobs. No worries Emile you get used to them, and can even find it strangely pleasurable.
Jill Hennessey - New York

I'm not sure why Jennifer Freeman (thanks lachick, I think you are right) even bothered getting dressed.
I swear it could be midnight in the middle of nowhere and if you ran into Jamie Foxx he would be wearing sunglasses.
One of the few couples in Hollywood I enjoy.
It's kind of odd to see Jon Bon Jovi surrounded by a bunch of guys larger than him. You always see him as larger than life on stage, but around football players, he looks so damn tiny. Not Tom Cruise tiny though.
Mariah Carey - Los Angeles

Luke Wilson remains in my top ten guys I would like to go drinking with.
Lindsay Lohan makes the lineup because she took off the damn leggings.
If you have always wanted to know what Leslie Bibb is like, this is a perfect example.
Jodie Sweetin is getting her own reality show, and for once, I think it is a good idea. I would actually be interested in following her around and showing us her life edited of course to put her into the best possible light in a series of staged maneuverings to make her life appear more interesting than it actually is.
Rent - New York

Quincy and Kidada. That is some love right there.
I love Maggie Q and don't understand why the rest of the world isn't with me on this one.
Michael Madsen back in Los Angeles. From what I understand he stayed off the booze at the after party last night.
No one even told me Mindy Kaling was going to be on Dave last night. Hopefully TiVo got it.
Whitney Heard should have that growth removed as soon as possible. They can be dangerous if left untreated.

I will let you come to your own conclusions about what Shanna Moakler was up to before this photo was taken.
In the oddest damn pairing of the day you have Sean Stewart and Lizzie Grubman.
I don't actually have any problems with Stephanie Pratt. The outfit, yes, but not her.
Both are gorgeous.

Your Turn

After all the scary, horrifying murders this week, I think we all need a laugh, or a flashback to times of innocence. At some point this week, for some reason I was having a conversation with someone and in the course of the conversation they said three or four words straight from a Sheena Easton song. So, I finished the lyric so to speak. I thought they had said it because they knew the song, but it turns out it was just a random grouping of words. In fact, they didn't even know who the hell Sheena Easton was. Never heard of her. Finally they admitted that maybe they remembered the For Your Eyes Only song.

Sheena Easton was like the Scottish Madonna. I really don't know how else to categorize her. I loved her though and it sucks that people don't remember her, especially considering that she was always in the tabloids. I think she was paired up with Don Johnson, Prince, and some others that escape me now.

Then, in another conversation with a completely different person yesterday they admitted they had just discovered a band they were hearing about for the very first time. A band called Pink Floyd. I know, I know, but it is completely f**king true. That's why I had the song reference today, because that conversation got me in the mood last night.

So, anyway, what I want from everyone today is the first record/CD you bought. If all of you say something critically acclaimed I will know you are lying. And, I want to know the first concert you went to as well. And yes, The Wiggles counts. And no, no one sees a Smiths concert first time out. I want things like Sugarhill Gang or Men At Work with Red Rider opening. Black Sabbath with some band you don't remember. Spill it all.

Not Gossip - In Fact, Another Gruesome Murder

I think that everyone in Canada sent me this story yesterday. I think that of the three murders this week, this is by far the most gruesome and the one that scares the hell out of me more than any of the others. I mean when you get on a Greyhound bus with your friend and co-worker I don't think you are really expecting to be stabbed, and then be decapitated while all the people on the bus are watching a movie. If you want to read about it, click here.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which leggy supermodel chased an up-and-coming British actor to New York in a desperate attempt to date him?

Katie Doesn't Have That Kind Of Power

Unable yet to move things using only her mind, it is ridiculous to hear the reports that Tom Cruise's mother and his sister Cass were kicked out of Tom's house by Katie Holmes. Please. Reports had surfaced that said that the reason Tom's mom and sister had decided to leave Tom after living with him these past seven years is that Katie hated them and wanted them gone. I guess she thought when they got into the newly renovated house that if mom and sister weren't buried underneath it they would at least not be living there.

But, of course along with the rest of the furniture and e-meters they came along as well. Can you just imagine Tom Cruise's mother just sitting upstairs in a rocking chair, and just rocking back and forth, squeaking along, while Tom and the rest of his followers pay their respects with blood offerings. Too far?

So, you have Katie up somewhere riding her carousel of horses while Tom is downstairs doing some kind of Xenu chant while mom is upstairs doing her rocking. You have Jada and Leah in the basement cackling and Suri in the living room just staring glassy eyed at Scientology videos. She then turns to the camera, her eyes glowing red and says, "redrum."

When Publicists Collide

I know that none of you are particularly concerned with Paula Abdul's love life except to the extent it may or may not include some dude living behind her house who also delivers groceries. However, as you may recall, Paula and JT Torregani broke up back in March or whenever she stopped giving him drugs to keep him there on a daily basis.

Anyway, this week the Enquirer actually said that JT was stalking Paula and made the following claims:

Paula Abdul has told ex J.T. Torregani to stay away- and she’s even threatening to have him served with a restraining order because she claims he has violent outbursts and is stalking her!

The “American Idol” judge says 33-year-old restaurateur J.T. tried to kick down the door of her Los Angeles home- and she’s now so scared she has hired a bodyguard, according to pals.

“Paula says she’s terrified over what J.T. might do,” a source close to the performer told The Enquirer. “She claims they broke up after eight months and she put him out of her house. J.T. started harassing her.

“Paula complained that J.T. left dozens of voicemails and text messages on her phone, and when she didn’t reply, the messages became more and more menacing.”

Paula also claims J.T. has been showing up at shops and restaurants she frequents, looking for her, added the source.

Umm, not saying that Paula might not have a stalker or two, because lets face it, out of 5 billion people on the planet, at least 1 or 2 are going to find her hot enough to stalk. JT though? Why the hell not. He's friends with Eva Longoria so I wouldn't put anything past him. But, apparently JT or his people or the people at Beso were worried about being labeled a stalker so just two days after the stalking story, there was this story being passed around like a joint on Snoop Dogg's bus (illegal stop of his bus in Dallas today by the way).

Of course only the idiots at People ran with it.

"The pair was spotted going to the movies together in Sherman Oaks last week, prompting speculation they have rekindled their romance.

A source close to the American Idol judge tells People.com, "They're taking it slow, testing the waters. They've gone on a few friendly dates." The insider adds Torregiani "wants to date her again. JT thinks she's a sweetheart. They have good chemistry."

Well. All this proves is that stalking works. Damn, I knew I shouldn't have let those restraining orders stop me from showing Jamie-Lynn Sigler my tribute to her I made from day old pancakes and magazine cutouts. See, now she and I could be going to the movies in Sherman Oaks and working on our chemistry.

Why Can't Dakota Do It Again?

I saw this story yesterday, but was hoping the Hollywood Foreign Press Association would sleep on it and realize what an awful idea it is. Because of the WGA strike last year and the fact the Golden Globes weren't televised, the HFPA decided they wanted to make Rumer Willis, Mr. Golden Globes again. Why? She had her shot. She got to take the photos and had the press and publicity and everyone knew it was her.

All I'm saying is that if we are going to start recycling past Miss Golden Globes than I am going to push for Dakota Johnson to come back. Oh, what about Freddie Prinze Jr. He isn't doing much these days and this would give him a chance to relive his glory days before Scooby Doo and SMG dragged him down to the bottom of an increasingly dark and desperate world. No, its ok, SMG likes her vodka so I'm sure he can stay comfortably numb. Oh wow. Got a Pink Floyd lyric in there. Great song by the way. Probably my favorite by them.

Jane Carrey hasn't got to do it yet and maybe they would even let her sing. I wonder how come they haven't asked her. I can't imagine her saying no, and then Jim would show up and Jenny McCarthy and I think she would be much more fun and entertaining than whoever Bruce Willis shows up with.

AJ Lamas did it before so I don't know why you couldn't have Shayne Lamas. You know, get that stripper vibe going and at the end of the night she could just ask herself to marry herself. I mean she does already have the ring.

I would even be willing to have a Willis if it were Tallulah. At least she is normal looking.

Lets Talk Heather

Heather Matarazzo got engaged to her long time girlfriend Carolyn Murphy. When the news was announced today, Heather was then splashed all over the tabloids. Why? Heather really hasn't done much lately that anyone would really know. Her last "big" role was in Princess Diaries. Now, as you know if you have been reading the blog for any amount of time is that I am a big fan of Heather and Carolyn although I must say that Carolyn seems a bit clingy like Heather is going to run away and leave her. I also give them a lot of crap for always pawing at each other on the red carpet. See, that's the thing. I give straight or gay couples the same amount of crap for doing the same things. I like Heather and so she has been in the photos probably four or five times. When is the last time prior to today you had ever seen her in a magazine or on a website? Hmmm?

If Heather had got engaged to a guy, do you think it would have made the tabloids? Do you think US Weekly would have cared? Maybe, just maybe, People would have written three lines and thrown it into their engaged section online.

So why the big deal? I'll tell you why. It's because Heather is gay. The only reason any of the tabloids posted anything is because she's gay. What were their reasons for doing so? Newsworthy because she's gay or newsworthy because they want to stir up some crap and then sell some magazines with interviews and wedding coverage?

If the magazines cared so much about Heather before how come they never mentioned her? Ever. Do this. Go to people.com and in their little search thing, type in Heather Matarazzo. See how many articles and photos pop up. None, except for the engagement story. None. In case you are curious, their search engine goes back about two years.

How about US Weekly? They are screaming about this and just patting each other on the back like Heather is their best friend. How many articles and photos in the past two years? Two. Both of them from today.

I'm thrilled for Heather. She knows I love her, and I'm happy she i getting some attention and publicity, but at the same time, part of me thinks that she should be treated like every other celebrity of equal stature and as such should have got no mentions and no blurbs. To me, it is kind of exploiting the fact she is gay. For equality to mean something you should be able to say, "So? Who gives a crap? I don't know her so why should we print anything." To me at least, that is equality.

Kneepads Opened Wide For This One

You and I both know that we can always count on the fine folks at Kneepads to just smile and do exactly what the publicists want. I especially love it when they do so even though they are blissfully ignoring pictures and evidence which makes their whole article laughable.

What is particularly galling about this article is that it is about Mischa Barton. Hey, People, you don't have to be nice to each star. Sometimes stars don't make a comeback and so you can cut them loose and go ahead and report the truth instead of lies. I understand that perhaps their publicist represents other people you want to blow, but sometimes you have to put your slipper down and just say no.

People quotes liberally from a Marie Claire article. Now, the reason I am not ragging on Marie Claire is because they put Mischa on their cover this month. Why? The editors were on drugs is my guess. But anyway, once you decide to put her on your cover you have to make her look good. Don't agree with it, but understand it.

Kneepads on the other hand could have used the opportunity to do exactly what I am about to do to refute everything Mischa said. Instead, they just bent over a little more.

In April, the former O.C. actress pleaded no contest to driving under the influence. She describes her December arrest as an "awful low."

"The thing is, I hate drunk drivers. Living in L.A., I can't stand them, and that's why I was so disappointed in myself," she says. "I wanted to prove to the court that I would take it completely seriously, so I went to rehab to prove I was sober.

May 22, 2008. - I guess it is possible that isn't a slightly plastered look on her face and that Taylor drank the half bottle of Tequila by himself. While also at Cannes, Mischa was spotted drinking champagne instead of being at the premiere of her new film which was supposed to be her only reason for being in Cannes.

"It really helped in getting the more serious aspects of my case dropped because, you know, that's what they want to hear: you're not an alcoholic, and you don't have a problem."

July 17, 2008 - Berlin - I'm guessing by the way she guzzled that one, that more was certainly on the way.

So, from what I'm reading here she basically lied to the court. She told the court she was sober and not an alcoholic when in fact she wasn't sober. Either that or she isn't sober and so is off the wagon. Her choice.

Ted C Blind Item

Toothy Tile, doll-hon, you’ve met your homo match. ‘Cause there’s a new rising, closeted star in town (actually, he’s been rising for, like, ages now, but, whatev) who’s putting your clandestine, closeted—not to mention kinky!—ways to shame. Maybe you know him? Name’s Crotch Uh-Lastic. Ring a bell, babe? Thought so.

Now, keep in mind, Toothy and Crotch have never made a flick together, though they do both go in for the same roles rather often. Similar brooding thing going on. You know, that tough yet tangible, touchable, almost boyish loveliness, a little crusty on the sides, too. Know the type? Oh who cares about actor oeuvre, let’s get to the dirty part and oozing sex outta control, my little horn-hons!

So Crotch, like a lot of his hetero counterparts in this Biz, is all wrapped up in fantasy. Whereas Toothy likes it dangerous and out in the open—Hollywood parking lots, anybody?—Crotch prefers his assignations played out as if they were the plots of one of his artier flicks (he's had plenty). This is how the boy likes it: He chooses a stud, latest one being a straight—wink, wink, right—trainer who’s busy trying to get a modeling/acting/smoldering-look career going and asks him to come over to the Hollywood pad. Mr. U.-L. has an East Coast home, too, but the pool in his Hollywood hang is so much fun for game playing. The man-meat Crotch has selected is told, beforehand, to await his limo ride to the Hell-Ay house and, once he arrives, to head straight to the pool area, adorned with chaise lounges. On these tastefully tufted settees, like little lost Saks Fifth Avenue summer catalog lovelies, lay various box-cut (never Speedo, how Matthew McConaughey!) swim trunks.

Silently, oh so discreetly, the stud-for-hire is then told to take off all his clothes and put on any of the suits he likes, at which point Crotch struts out and the inevitable seduction, complete with end-of-the-show water works, begin. And Crotch can only get the ol’ equipment up and hosing, I’m told, if said scenario is pursued.

How damn exhausting. Whatever happened to a little sweat, not too much intrigue and even fewer props? Is that so old-fashioned? For Crotch, the answer would be yes.

Today's Blind Items

Hey, it's definitely not Ben Affleck, but it is someone who starred with him in a film once. Of course that could be a lot of people so lets narrow it down to B- actor, 95% films, although two great television appearances that come to mind are also part of his resume. He has basically been off the radar the past year. Oh sure, a bit part here and a bit part there, but this actor with the A list facial recognition has spent the better part of the past year in rehab. Not quite the crack smoking in the living room firing off shotguns, but he did manage to abuse just about every drug you can imagine over the past three years. What finally sent him to rehab though was his ex wife's promise to take away visitation rights of their child(ren) if he didn't stop leaving her/him/them unattended so he could both score and use drugs. The drug paraphernalia littering the floor was probably also not good parenting.

Random Photos Part One

You know I love when a reader sends in a photo from some far flung corner of the world. Love it, and so they get to go first. I think that Metallica making an appearance in Bucharest after an 8 year absence also is worthy. Thanks Gabriela.

Metallica - Bucharest

Cheech & Chong back together again. Finally, something for Grateful Dead fans to do for a few months.
Alan Cumming and his niece Eve. I see the resemblance, although I'm sure as soon as I say that, someone will probably tell me she was adopted or something.
A first time appearance for David Leon
Disturbed - West Palm Beach, FL
I know The Libertines have been in the music photos but I don't think Carl Barat has ever been in the photos alone.
It's all making sense. Now, I know why Christina Aguilera wears so much makeup.
Although Ben Affleck makes an appearance in every blind item, it has been awhile since he was in the photos.
It's almost like you expect Jon Hamm to do a double take.

James Franco wasn't supposed to be in this position, so I of course screwed up the joke I was going to use. He was supposed to be in the position after Pamela Anderson. Well he can get in line for that, but I was going to show you how James and Pam were both on Dave last night and no one even seemed to notice that James was there.
James Denton has been in the photos often, but I don't think his wife has.
I'm assuming those pieces of rope on Justine Bateman's shirt are there to lasso her breasts in case they make a run for it.
Another reason to love Idina Menzel. These two women won a lunch with Idina in a charity auction and she actually went to lunch with them and ate and everything.
John Oates, and yes, it's Klaus Meine. Did you ever hear the Scorpions cover of Kiss Is On My List? Me either, because it didn't happen but I bet it would be great.

If you are going to have Klaus you have to have Rudolf Schenker. You have to.
And another singer you have to listen to is Geoff Byrd.
Jason Lewis dancing through Japan
and looking as if he maybe put on a pound or two as well.

For all of you Yankee fans, Mariano Rivera.

For all of you old school fans, Mitzi Gaynor.
I just posted Mathew Goode and Hayley Atwell last week, but really just love the photo so thought I would post them again. Can't decide about the film, but they look good.
Katie Holmes is completely alone. Run Katie run.



So, DNfromMN wanted me to include this photo of Paula Patton in his review today. This is from the current issue of Esquire. I believe he said she would almost make a gay man straight. Almost.

And thanks to the many, many people who sent me the photo or the link to this photo of our favorite Princess. Yes, she's smiling, and she looks great.
Because this is random photos. How about French figure skater Phillipe Candelero in a speedo?
Apparently Pamela Anderson is still popular.
Nathan Sapsford and one of the most requested Australians, Jason Dundas.
Slipknot - West Palm Beach, FL

Seth Gilliam representing The Wire at a discussion of the show. Still can't believe how it got shafted in the Emmys.
So, here is an ignorant guy question. Russell Simmons and his date of the day are coming from dinner. Why on earth do women need a bag that large to go to dinner? Look at the weight of it. It's full. Does it have the pants she apparently took off at some point in the evening? How much stuff do you need to bring?
Tell me the last time you saw Rosie Perez looking this good.
I preferred Rosario Dawson in Italy with the bikini and the hose, but this will do.
Wendell Pierce also of The Wire.

One of my favorite band names The Ting Tings.
Stevie Wonder - Los Angeles
It is hard to believe that Steve Valentine hasn't been in the photos before. I'm sorry.
Chris Rock crashed The Pineapple Express press conference. Apparently he thought they had brought free samples. You will see what I mean next week when DNfromMN reviews it.

Not Gossip But I Know You Will Have An Opinion

So, yesterday we had the singer who was stabbed to death and had her body mutilated. Today's story is much more gruesome. I am not going to reprint it here, because some of you may find it too horrifying mixed in with the snark and fluff. So, you need to click here and read it on the Mirror.

Here is my question which you can answer without reading the details if you like. The gist of it is that a 17 year old British girl was allowed by her parents to move to Brazil and move in with a 20 year old Brazilian guy she had met in the UK. He killed her on Saturday and then went to a party before disposing of the body. His disposal is the horrific part, not to mention the pictures he took while doing it.

I am all for kids going out of the country on supervised visits. I think it is important and broadens an education to see how other people live. I don't think there is ever any way on this earth that I would let my 17 year old kid, male or female go live with their significant other in another country, especially someone they had only known a short time. Yes, it can happen in your own country, but at least in your own country, presumably you have some sort of assistance or your loved ones can see if something is turning into a possibly ugly situation.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which sleazy TV personality has a penchant for prostitutes? He gets his overworked PA to ring ahead and book his chosen girl...

What Would You Do?

Although I believe the reports are a bunch of crap, lets just assume that Balthazar Getty is coming back to Los Angeles in an attempt to save his marriage, or more likely cut his financial losses. Would you take him back? I think I asked this question previously in the Ashley and Cheryl Cole situation but that was a one night thing once or twice.

This however is completely different. This is a guy who not only flaunted his affair, but did so in public, with nudity, and even flew to Italy where his wife had fled to, and then continued the affair in that country.

To me if you are Rosetta and you take Balthazar back what you are saying is that you are willing to be completely trampled in your life, have no self esteem and that Balthazar is free to do this as often as he pleases. Because you know that if she takes him back he will know that he can literally get away with anything. He could move Sienna into the house at this point and have sex with her every night because he didn't do much less and the wife took him back.

I equate this to the Robin Wright Penn situation. Sean Penn can now do literally anything he wants and know that Robin will take him back. So, why would a guy stop?

On the other hand you have four kids, but who wants their kids confused about why dad has so many sisters who visit and why he always sleeps with them and is taking naked photos with them. Plus there would be arguments and the kids would look down on their mother.

When Balthazar apologized for his actions it seemed like he wanted to leave the door open a crack, but I don't know if it was for personal or financial reasons. So, can you imagine any circumstance under which you would take him back. Castration?

Have You Seen This?

On Friday Jerry Lewis was arrested in the Las Vegas airport for trying to carry a gun on a flight from Las Vegas to Detroit. I didn't write about it because I saw it on Saturday and figured everyone would write about it, and so it would be old news by the time Monday rolled around. But, no one has because no one cares about Jerry Lewis despite the fact that he also took a turn with Marilyn Monroe.

Anyway, I saw some UK newspapers had picked up the story as well and so decided to write something because you need to just stop and think about for a second. Jerry Lewis is 82 years old. He looks 100 and acts 125. Why does this man even need a gun? Have you watched the Jerry Lewis telethon lately? Is this a man you feel comfortable with holding a gun anywhere?

What did Jerry think he was going to need his gun for in Detroit? He wasn't going to be paid cash where he was going. I doubt sincerely there are any mafia alive from 40 years ago who are still holding a grudge and they had lots of grudges against him.

I mean gets on a plane a falls asleep. He gets off the plane, gets wheeled to his limo, falls asleep in the limo. gets to the hotel, gums some food and goes to sleep. At what point is he figuring he is going to need a gun? Does he think the waiter at the early bird special is going to charge him full price so he needs to pull a gun?

Did the maid not put a chocolate on his pillow so he is going to forcibly make her hand over more chocolate while he holds a gun to her head? Jerry's manager says the gun was a prop and wouldn't fire. So, when he starts waving it around on an airplane he can shout it's only a prop. It won't fire, and then does his crazy ass heckle.

Tom Cruise Sued By The Wrong Guy

In case you haven't heard, The NY Daily News reported today that on July 15th Peter Letterese filed a $250M suit against Tom Cruise and Scientology using the RICO statute which is what the government used to decimate the mafia.

Look, I think my opinion on Tom Cruise and Scientology is pretty clear. I think Peter's argument is unique and I think the amount of the suit would get the attention of anyone. I also think that any publicity about lawsuits, especially in the gossip section of the Daily News is a good thing. You will notice that it took more than two weeks after filing for anyone to notice though.

See, that's the problem here. Peter Letterese and the Scientologists have been battling for a long time, but the essence of their battles is about money he feels he is owed through his business dealings with the church. Plus, he generally gets his ass kicked by them because he does most of it on his own.

With a lawsuit this big, there should have been press at the courthouse when he filed it, and a news conference. You could have brought out a bunch of people who had gripes, valid or not against the church and given the news people sound bytes. He didn't though. So, in the intervening two weeks, the COS already has everything in place and the guy looks like an idiot.

So, although I am thrilled the COS is going to have to spend some dough defending against this and will face some negative publicity, in the long run it is the wrong guy and won't do any good. I think the strategy is good, but need a different person leading the point. I actually think the way to go is through the California Department Of Labor, and then file a suit after you have exhausted your remedies through them. If all the stories reported on all the forums are true, to me that is the most effective way to make a claim and also the most financially devastating in the near and long term because it would eliminate any unpaid labor in the future and thus raise the overhead of the church to astronomical levels.

Jessica, Jessica, Jessica

So, again here I am discussing Jessica Simpson. I didn't want to, but this time felt like I needed to. In an interview she gives to Elle this month Jessica was asked if she had ever been physically abused because there is a song on her new CD called Remember That which deals with abuse.

This is what Jessica had to say: "I don't want to talk about it, but I have definitely experienced abuse in a way that I would tell people to take their heart and run."

Here is the relevant portion of the song:

"It doesn't matter how he hurts you / With his hands or with his words / You don't deserve it / It ain't worth it / Take your heart and run."

Here is what ticks me off about this. First of all you should know by now that I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes towards any abuse whether physical or verbal or mental towards any person, man or woman except for Joe Francis.

When you read the quote it sounds as if Jessica sat around and opened her heart and wrote this song about her experience. Problem is that according to ASCAP at least, Jessica Simpson doesn't have a writing credit for this song which means she didn't even contribute one word or thought to it.

Then when asked about abuse she just waffles. The way she answered the question says to me it could have been a guy at Starbucks who used whole milk instead of soy. I think her answer and the way she is trying to imply that she wrote the song because she had been abused does a disservice to the millions of men and women who are abused in their relationships.

To me being evasive is the worst thing she can do here. People look to her for guidance. I know, I know, but they do. So, she could have said, "I haven't been abused in my relationships but so many people have and I hope they will listen to this song and take its message to heart and get help or just get out."

See. Simple. Kind of like her. Now, people will assume she has been physically abused when she is not actually saying she was. People will then start looking at all of her relationships and accusing those people. She needs to clarify what she was talking about or not talking about because people are going to start wondering who she is referring to and then those people are going to be under a cloud of suspicion. Publicity is one thing, this is another.

DNfromMN - Move Review - Swing Vote

SWING VOTE
Release Date: 8/1/08

The Story: In the closest election in history, Bud Johnson’s (Kevin Costner) vote didn’t count. He alone will determine the results of the election. The problem is that he barely even knows who’s running (Kelsey Grammar and Dennis Hopper).

Kevin Costner may be an ass in real life, but he’s one of those engaging movie stars that I find charming. If you can’t stand Kevin Costner, you won’t like Swing Vote. He kind of phones it in here, playing a down-on-his-luck alcoholic redneck.

Madeline Carroll (Bud’s 10 year-old daughter) is the highlight of the movie. While she’s as engaging as Abigail Breslin, she probably won’t be nominated for an Oscar®. As the parent in this father/daughter relationship, she keeps you interested and makes you want to kick Bud in the face for neglecting to take care of this really bright kid.

I’m sure the producer’s sell line for this movie was: EdTV meets Wag the Dog, down to the stars and their cameos (Mare Winningham’s short bit as Bud’s ex-wife is heartbreaking, but somehow out of step with the rest of the movie). While it’s better than EdTV, I still think that Wag the Dog is a more prescient and forward-looking film than SV.

Paula Patton plays the local reporter who breaks the story, and she does a great job with kind of a boring role. Gorgeous woman.

Probably the highlights of this film are the lengths to which the candidates go to curry Bud’s favor. There are a couple of these, but I laughed in horror, and then in general amusement at the playground commercial. Ooh, looky what we have here… it’s on YouTube.




What It’s Worth: $9.00, essentially a full price ticket. I was entertained throughout, and I think its sense of humor is enough to make people laugh from both sides of the political spectrum, as well as people who have no interest in politics at all. I’m not going to give it a ticket plus popcorn, just because it is a little fluffy despite its content.

Lainey Blind Item

You’d think they’d be liquid, you know? Flush from the funds of so many different projects, across so many different mediums, by so many different sources.

But that’s the thing with celebrities. They’re richer than we are, to be sure, but some of them really aren’t THAT rich, especially when you factor in the lifestyle. Being not that rich isn’t a problem. Being not that rich and not paying your bills is a big problem. Being not that rich, not paying your bills, but still spending your balls off is a huge problem.

So they have projects around the house. Some construction here, some wiring there, installations, renovations...it never stops. It never stops because they keep having to hire new people. Inevitably the invoice will arrive, they won’t be able to pay it, so they end up calling someone else to finish the job. They don’t pay those people either.

How f&cking ghetto, non???

Like people who keep taking out credit card after credit card? Only these assholes are wealthy! They have jobs! They earn celebrity salaries!

Which means they’re too stupid to manage their finances and too cheap to figure out their finances before satisfying their non-urgent, vanity-motivated projects at the expense, literally, of labourers and small business owners who trusted the wrong millionaires.

Slowly but surely, they’ve pretty much exhausted the entire contracting community in town, verging on blacklist, and are now several hundred thousand dollars in the hole to several companies in Hollywood. Word is they’re facing legal action, and even a lien on their property...

Probably the reason behind the new round of exploitation. They need the cash.

But do we still care?

A few years ago, before everyone and their eyebrow stylist had a reality show, it was a novel concept. Now? Now they’re totally almost irrelevant – the proof in that lies in a deal one of them tried to strike with the paps recently.

She needed cash so badly, she arranged for some “candids” in exchange for a few quid. Unfortunately her images weren’t selling and the photographers cut her off.

Shame!

Word is, even Phoebe Price out-earns her...

In this economy, how will they ever recover?

Today's Blind Items

A very long time ago I posted about the B list couple (films and television for both with television being their forte) that hated being married to each other, but lived with it because they hated admitting they were wrong in public more. They are the couple who negotiated deals with each other for photos together. They never took many together, but at least it was some. Well now, they can't even stand to take photos together and her girlfriend is getting antsy and wants to take things public. He understands because he also plays for the home team, although not as openly. The problem is his career couldn't take the exposure of an outing while hers could probably use the boost. Oh, they do have (a) child(ren).

Random Photos Part One

Wow, that is a really big crowd. You would think the people in line were waiting for something really important. I mean it is the middle of the day during the workweek and vacations so this must be something really big. Would you believe it was just an appearance from Adriana Lima?

People were waiting for hours and hours and hours. You would think they would all be like these guys. You would be wrong though.
In fact this woman was the first in line.
And about 90% of all the people in line were women. Did I miss something here? Sure Adriana is pretty, but did I miss the part where women all over New York think she is the second coming or something?
Good news everyone. Corey Feldman finally gets to see his wife naked.

"Here honey, let me light that for you. You shouldn't be playing with lighters."
Garret Dillahunt on the set of Terminator.

One of my favorite actors and completely underrated is Fred Williamson. Plus, he is 70 years old. Looks incredible.
Elvis Costello - Philadelphia
Congratulations to Diane von Furstenberg on her induction into the Fashion Walk Of Fame.
I saw X-Files David, I don't think God or Xenu is going to help with this one.

"Need more diapers."

Who knew they had cars in Tudor times.
Julianne Hough - New York
Jane Carrey - Los Angeles
Look at the passion, and they have been married, what? A month?
The people in Mexico have the right idea. By using Momia they can go ahead and just use the same backdrop for The Mummy and Mamma Mia.

Lou Ferrigno is almost 60. Goodness he looks amazing.
What every one wears to the golf course. How desperate for attention do you have to be?
Ummm. Were you really planning on them lasting forever?
You have to admit that Katherine Heigl looks really good here. If you don't think so, then at least I gave you TR Knight to talk about.


Well, Ricky Gervais is doing something that I hope to never do which is exercise. I do love his shirt though.

Soft porn queen of the 80's Pia Zadora. There has to be a lesson in this somewhere.
Some of that Jamaica reefer kicks in for the Prince.
So, do you think Owen Wilson bought the magazine for its cover?
Yeah, yeah, Mary Kate looking Wackness. But the thing I'm interested in is the water bottle. For those of us who are everyday people, I want you to imagine placing said water bottle in the cup holder of your car. At what point in the first 30 seconds would it tip over and fall out spilling water all over?
Uh oh. Verne has a new weapon. The girlfriend needs to watch out. Man I wish his tongue was out. It would have just made this photo perfect.

The Classic Futures - New York
Tatyana Ali is all grown up. And Harvard educated.
Samantha Mollen - Los Angeles
Ronnie Wood is still alive right? This isn't some kind of Weekend At Bernie's trick right?

Hollywood Fun - Fake Pet Adoptions

A friend of mine is a little upset, and when she gets upset, the world needs to listen. Actually most of the time they don't, but in this case they do. She sent me a breakdown she received on Monday at 3pm from Breakdown Express.

PITBULL DOG
Reality TV
NON-UNION Pilot

Casting Director: Angela Bosworth
Shoot/Start Date: July 31 - Aug 1
Pay Rate: TBD
Location: LA area

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY

NOTE: ALSO INCLUDE PERFORMANCE VIDEOS OR ACTOR SLATES IF AVAILABLE. DO NOT SEND DEMO TAPES.

[WILLING PITBULL ADOPTER] Seeking male or female interested in adopting a Pitbull dog for a pilot. Is not required to follow through with the adoption.

If you are interested let me know ASAP

To say that my friend is a dog lover would be an understatement. So, to say she was a trifle pissed that someone is going to fake an adoption of a dog simply for a reality television show was not something that made her day.

Here is what she wrote to me:

I think this is disgusting. They want to "fake" adopting a pit bull just for TV? Pitties have enough trouble getting adopted without having it be made light of on television. Heck, enough people already take dog adoption too lightly which is why we have so many dogs in rescue. Just a little PSA I hoped you might be interested in posting to bring people's attention to this and maybe stop the pilot from getting a green light. Yes, I'm an optimist, but I can't sit here and watch this happen without feeling like I said something.

Bill Clinton Has A Sure Thing In Gillian Anderson

While doing some press for X-Files, Gillian Anderson talked about how she had recently met Bill Clinton and how she was a little deflated that he hadn't asked her out on a date or left a message on her machine. This of course is the same woman who is pregnant with another man's baby and of course that Bill is married. I wanted to cough there, but didn't.

"We all, mostly women, lined up. And when he gets to you, he takes your hand and makes eye contact. After he leaves and he moves on to the next person, he looks back at you and seals the deal. When I got home, I expected to have a message from him, and I didn't."

Kind of sounds like some kind of brothel where everyone lines up and the guy looks you over and makes his decision. I do know one thing though. I bet Bill calls Gillian after he reads her quotes. You know, just to be friendly, and to share a laugh with her about Dan Quayle being on DWTS and to just make small talk about then the baby is due and when after that she would like to meet for a little dinner.

You know, maybe some fund raising, or discussing inflation, and how best to relieve the economy of all the pressure. He likes to be on top of the situation and hopes she is up to it more than once. He has some new policy initiatives he would like to show her and hopes she's receptive to a hard discussion about those initiatives.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which soap hunk is despised by colleagues for his unprofessional behaviour on-set?

Shia Not Drunk

Only a court of law will be able to determine whether Shia LaBeouf was drunk or not, but at least one persons swears he couldn't have been drunk. Who do you think that was? How about Isabel Lucas' mother. Her reason is very simple. "Isabel would not get into the car with someone she thought was drink-driving."

Simple enough. Although she is probably correct in her assumption, she reminds me of the parents who never believe their kids could be doing drugs or never notice their daughter is pregnant until she asks for help while in the shower one morning. I don't think any of us would knowingly get in the car with someone who is drunk. But, what if Isabel was drunk off her ass as well, or couldn't tell if Shia was drunk.

I mean someone like Shia can drink a bunch before it is going to be noticeable, but it doesn't mean he is sober.

So, imagine you are Isabel and you have gone through all this crap all weekend, and so you decide that maybe you need to have a little one on one time with your "boyfriend" Adrian Grenier. You know, you just want to talk things over quietly, and assure him that Shia is not going to be suffering some Garp (you need to work for that one) type injury and just get on with your life. So, instead of that, you get this. Glad you were not too hurt.

Lebanese Singer Mutilated And Murdered

Late Monday night, police in Dubai discovered the body of Suzan Tamim who was a hugely popular singer in Lebanon and throughout the Middle East. She was 31 and definitely had a very interesting life. She won a television talent show similar to Idol back in 1996 and became a household name in Lebanon. Over the past twelve years she had done a couple of albums and was really popular in the rest of the Middle East.

What really makes her interesting though is she was about to get divorced for the second time. The first one was fine, but this second one has been a little crazy. Her second husband, who is also a music producer actually tried to get a court order to keep her in Lebanon. Although that effort failed, he was definitely still in the picture and not happy about her leaving him, especially to go to Dubai.

Now, when the police found her she had died from multiple stab wounds to the face and had been badly mutilated all over the rest of her body as well.

A Little Mush To Go With Your Snark

So, I'm sure that many of you have seen the hugging lion on YouTube. This morning on Today, the original owners of the lion were interviewed. Really great story and in the beginning of the video is the clip from YouTube as well.

R. Kelly Does Audio Porn

New York Magazine has a great review of R. Kelly's new album plus some song titles that he has which will make you just laugh out loud. They did call his album much dirtier than they expected. Do you know how dirty his new album must be if it is dirtier than someone expected from R. Kelly?

Although New York Magazine does have most of the real song titles from his album listed in the article, they don't have the ones R. Kelly thought of having in, but later removed.

1. I Thought She Was 16, Not 14.

2. Every Night Is Kids Eat Free Night At IHOP

3. Getting It On At The Chuck - E - Cheese

4. Don't Have To Use Protection (She's Too Young To Get Pregnant)

5. Boys & Girls / featuring Michael Jackson sung to the tune of Ebony & Ivory

6. Hide Your Videos

7. When The Feds Come Knocking

8. Don't Want Your Baby Mama, I Want Your Baby

At What Point Does A Groupie Say No

Tommy Lee gave a little impromptu press conference in Oakland this week and got on the subject of groupies. Apparently he and Motley Crue still have lots and lots of women who offer their bodies to the boys every night. Instead of turning away from the groupies at this stage in his life, Tommy insisted he is "on a mission to sleep with as many as possible."

I think Tommy's quote would probably bring tears of joy to most mothers knowing their daughter would have a chance to f**k Tommy Lee just like they did when they were 18, and like their grand kids will when they turn 18. Hopefully the grand kids won't be Tommy Lee's grand kid, because, well that would be disturbing. I'm sure it must have happened at some point in the rocker/groupie sex world, but I prefer not to think of it. Honestly, I prefer to not think of Tommy Lee having sex or the fact that although not the boyfriend of Pamela Anderson does still have sex with her as well.

So, at what point do you say to yourself as a groupie, why am I having sex with this guy? Although he declined to say how many people he had sex with, he has said previously that it is in the thousands. You really want to be 2,001? Now remember here that he has slept with thousands who have presumably at least slept with say, ten, or in the case of Pamela Anderson and some others, ummm, more than 10. It doesn't take too much math to get into the millions of people. So, I'm just curious. At this point, would you still have sex with Tommy Lee and be a part of his "mission?" And to give the guys a fair shot as well, would you still have sex with Pamela Anderson? She says she doesn't have a boyfriend, but just has some friends with benefits she uses when she is horny. Hello hepatitis.

Miley's Head Is Getting Bigger Than Her Teeth

Everywhere I have turned this week Miley Cyrus has been in the news, and honestly, I'm getting tired of it. She is becoming annoying. Not the kind of annoying that will go away if you sleep it off, but the kind of annoying that never ever goes away until you have a doctor surgically remove it, or in the case of a gnat, kill it.

Granted, I am old and decrepit, but by my count there were the "new" photos of her and that guy making out which expanded on the other photos of her laying on his lap like she was on Billy Ray. Then there was the whole Miley/Selena Gomez video off which Miley apologized for by saying she was "super sorry." On a side note, when someone says they are super sorry, it means they are saying it because someone made them. It also means they are 4 years old.

There is also the rumor that her people are floating which says that Hannah Montana is ending and that Miley is sick and tired of doing it and wants to do more grown up roles and head straight to porn or at least some good solid R's and NC-17's as soon as she can. As for me, I say quit Hannah Montana because it will be that much sooner you will be out of my life. Oh, she will stick around like the Olsens stick around. Unlike the Olsens though, Daddy will do his best to work quickly through Miley's money so that eventually she will be doing reality shows and having to maybe earn a buck or two, while the Olsens will continue their coffee and cigarette doing nothing lives until the end of time and never run out of money.

Oh, and if that wasn't enough, Lifestyle condoms wants to give her $1M. I think she would have accepted but she probably prefers Trojans or something like that.

You have to remember that all that crap is just from my aging memory and isn't even the reason I posted. I posted because she pissed me off talking about Katy Perry. Whatever you think of Katy Perry and her music, her people were very nice to my readers so she gets a little love. Katy this week said she wouldn't mind kissing Miley during the Teen Choice awards this weekend. She said it as a joke, although I'm sure she would do it if pressed. Miley on the other hand said, no, and also said that Katy was just jealous of Miley because Katy was a backup singer on some Hannah Montana albums.

Honestly, I don't think Katy has anything to be jealous of and I may be wrong, so please correct me, but has Miley ever had a #1 song? Katy has. Sure, Miley has had two number one albums, but no one actually listens to her songs. It is just a bunch of parents thinking they know what their kids want and so scooping up the albums. What we have here instead I think is that Miley knows that when she does leave the safe secluded Disney Hannah Montana world that she is going to get her ass handed to her in the real world.

NY Post Blind Items

WHICH formerly wealthy Greenwich, Conn., gent, a victim of the economic malaise, saw the horse he bought for one of his kids get repossessed? When the red-faced dad threatened to call the cops, the repo man said, "Go ahead. It's our horse."

WHICH businessman is hiding his past as a pornographer now that his kids are being teased by private-school classmates? The ex-sleaze purveyor hired a team of hackers to flood the 'Net with bogus posts, so now the porno is buried under layers of fluff.

Today's Blind Items

I wish for a change I could just find something simple like which A lister does crack in his house while shooting off shotguns in his living room? That would be nice. Hell on the neighbors, and family, but nice and simple.

Instead, it is another one which more closely resembles the world we live in. I would have to say that this television and film actor is B list by his body of work, but probably C list in name recognition. Everyone who reads the site would know who he is and he definitely has a huge body of work. He really only has one award and it is not one you particularly want to win. Now, me, I would accept anything, but I'm easy. Anyway, our actor is married, with child(ren) and whenever he can get out of town or away from the wife he has someone that he is fairly serious about. She is definitely C list all the way but on a very hit network drama. She is gorgeous and busty and has a very well known beard she has been hanging out with in public. Apparently the couple feels they are safe when they are out of town and so are all over each other. Their most recent foray was slightly south of LA.

Random Photos Part One

For some reason Blogger is not displaying the photos properly, so I am basically writing this, by what I remember the photos to look like as opposed to actually viewing them while I type. Of course it is also possible that they will not display properly for you as well, so if they don't, give it time.

I think it is pretty much a no brainer that if for some odd reason you are my friend and have a movie premiering that you get the top spot. So, here is Amber Tamblyn that Pants 2 thing which, despite my fondness for Amber will never be seen by these eyes. Not that all of you shouldn't go see it. I just am not a big fan of the whole chick flick genre.



The rest of the cast of Pants 2. I will say that when they make a film about a pair of pants that goes through its life being unbuckled repeatedly due to its owners being fat guys I will be the first in line. "Brotherhood Of The Sansabelt Slacks"



All That Remains - Englishtown, NJ



Apparently Becki Newton and Ana Ortiz have just been shown the photo of me in a thong.



Do you get the feeling that Courtney Love has all her worldly possessions with her in the basket? I admire her for riding the bike and am thankful as well, because I don't think the world really needs Courtney Love behind the wheel of a car.



A first time appearance for Graham Bunn. Sounds like some new dessert from Keebler doesn't it?

You can never go wrong with a little Gillian Anderson and just so everyone stays happy, I chose the one with Simon Pegg.




So, do you think she married Flavio Briatora for his good looks or the fact he is a billionaire?




Do you think they have it written down somewhere how often he is allowed to grope her, and then a further subsection about groping her in public.



Well I know none of you would actually be interested in purchasing Fergie, but how about her new shoe line?



I have to admit that Leighton Meester is not an unattractive woman.

You know Kung Fu has kind of run its course when the best thing they can come up with is Kung Fu Dunk starring some 80's Don Johnson dude.



Always a pleasure to see Judith Light. She looks really good.



Judging by how thin Jennifer Connelly looks here, I think that maybe she should institute the famous one for you one for me policy that most parents seem to do with their kids at Halloween.



Gym Class Heroes - Englishtown, NJ



Rhys Ifans is not looking all that great. Kimberly Stewart is though. You need to get over it Rhys. Sienna Miller just isn't worth it. You can get anyone. You are a celebrity. Don't believe me? Go Google David Spade.

Nicole Patrick had an encounter with about a million bugs, and appears to have lost.



Norma Jean - Englishtown, NJ



"Oops, Catherine, I think I dropped a quarter."



"Excuse me. Where is that quarter?"



The Academy Is - Englishtown, NJ

Aaaah. A couple that holds their breath together, stays together.



From what I understand they found the smell of this man offensive. Well, I think people have sometimes found Lindsay Lohan offensive, but they didn't embarrass her in front of her. They did it like all Americans do. We did it behind her back or on blogs.



Everyday is a good day when you get a Richard Simmons photo.



Robert Klein - New Brunswick, NJ



Very nice of Bob Saget to show up to the Bure Family Winery opening. Here is Bob getting that first glass.

After his second



And third

And fourth



Fifth anyone?



Sixth?



And now it's sleepy time.

Earthquake

I'm dizzy now. Just had a huge earthquake.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which high-profile England sports star regularly cheats on his wife?

Now I Know What Rachael Ray's Husband Does

For some reason I thought that Rachael Ray's husband worked as a doorman for an S&M club or was perhaps a driver for escorts. But now, I think I have discovered what he really does for a living besides being a thorn in the side of the very existence of Rachael which really isn't a bad thing. See, Rachael is coming out with a new dog food line. Because I'm sure she is concerned with how delish the new food is, but didn't want to test it out on the dogs themselves just in case it belonged in the garbage bowl, I'm pretty sure that is what she has her husband doing.

Of course in true Rachael Ray fashion she has to annoy the hell out of us with everything she does. Lets start with her name. Why the extra "A"? Is she just trying to tick off everyone who has to write about her? Now, as for the dog food? Rachael Ray Nutrish. Yep, rhymes with delish. Yum-O. And her dog? Isaboo.

Now, for the good news. She is donating all the money to Rachael's Rescue which is an organization that finds homes for at-risk dogs, or husbands.

The Harpers Are Idiots

It is rare that I go after someone who is not really in the public eye. It is even more rare that I go after a family that is not well off, but there is a first time for everything. You probably have no idea who the Harpers are. Well, they are one of the first families who got a house in ABC's show Extreme Makeover. As much as I dislike Ty Pennington, I at least think the show is well done and uplifting and does seem to unite communities.

There have been controversies associated with the show before like the foster family that screwed over the kids for whom a home was built, but this one beats them all.

Here is a description of the home built for the Harpers by the neighbors in their community.

The finished product was a four-bedroom house with decorative rock walls and a three-car garage that towered over ranch and split-level homes in their Clayton County neighbourhood. The home's door opened into a lobby that featured four fireplaces, a solarium, a music room and a plush new office.

Materials and labour were donated for the home, which would have cost about $450,000 to build. Beazer Homes' employees and company partners also raised $250,000 in contributions for the family, including scholarships for the couple's three children and a home maintenance fund.

So, what did the Harpers do with their full paid for, best in the neighborhood home? They used it for collateral on a construction business. When the business went under, so did their house. It is being sold at a foreclosure auction on August 5th.

At the time the house was built it was by far the largest, most expensive home the show had done. 1,800 people helped to get it completed in six days. Needless to say the people who helped build it and donate everything are pissed.

"It's aggravating. It just makes you mad. You do that much work, and they just squander it," Lake City Mayor Willie Oswalt, who helped vault a massive beam into place in the Harper's living room, told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

And that is a mayor who is probably being nice because the Harpers might still vote for him. All this family had to do was find any job and they were set. No mortgage, no college tuition, no home maintenance costs. Ever. I understand the dream of wanting your own business, but you don't risk what other people gave you and donated and did out of love. It just isn't right.

It is so freaking aggravating and I feel sorry for the Harper kids and the 1,800 people who contributed. I feel sorry for all the people that spent two hours watching the damn show and getting invested in the family's misfortune. I feel sorry for everyone except the parents who are the biggest idiots in the world. Well, wherever they are living now, they better get used to it because I don't think anyone will ever volunteer to help them ever again. Idiots, idiots, idiots.

I Don't Want Em. Well, I Don't Want Em. Give Em' To Michael, He Loves Kids

As you probably know by now, Britney Spears gave up in her custody fight and agreed to let Kevin Federline have sole custody of the kids and Britney would just be happy visiting them from time to time. Well, it turns out that Kevin was more into the fight for the increased money and not so much for the actual kids themselves.

According to a source in Closer magazine, Kevin never wanted full responsibility. He wanted Britney to have the kids at least half the time because he is trying to work on his career and he already has the other two kids so he feels like he won't have Kevin time now that Britney has given up.

Did someone not explain to him what happens when you have kids? I know he loves his kids. I don't think there is any question about it. I do think though, that he went into this whole thing trying to get some more money in the divorce however he could get it. He was probably willing to cave on the whole custody thing if Britney would write him a bigger check each month. Unfortunately for him, Britney went off the deep end, couldn't stay organized with anything or any lawyer and probably realized she wasn't ready to be a full-time mom. Probably would have been better for the kids if she had realized that before getting pregnant. Kevin got his check but it comes with kids and not without. So, for now, no Kevin time. Ladies you will just have to wait until Kevin gets those kids raised. So, in about 10 years or so he will start partying again in his sweat suits and bling working his balding head and beer belly wondering why he isn't making the ladies tingle at the sight of the K-Fed any longer.

I Hope She's Not Crying Over Simon

Star Magazine is saying that Simon Cowell dumped Terri Seymour because she kept going on and on about starting a family. So, he finally had enough of it, kicked her to the curb and is instead shacking up in St. Tropez with his ex-girlfriend Sinitta.

Umm, excuse me for a second. Simon and Terri dated six years. First of all she should get an award for that or at least some kind of pat on the back or a gift certificate to In-N-Out. The other problem I have with this is Simon is shacking up with an ex-girlfriend that he presumably has not dated in six years. How does that work exactly? I understand staying friends with your ex. Fine. But after six years with a one woman, how does friendship equate to "Hey, I just broke up with Terri. Lets go to St. Tropez and have sex."

If I were Terri I would be wondering what the hell was going on for the past six years to let the couple continue as if nothing had happened. Has Sinitta remained single or did she go ahead and dump whatever guy she was with so she could get back with Simon?

Translate all of this into "everyday people." You start dating someone, and they stay friends with their ex. At first you are worried thinking they might be doing the ex-sex thing, but you get over it. The ex is always hanging around but it is just friends. For six years you date. You don't get a ring or marriage or any hope of a future. When you bring it up once too often, you are gone. One minute later your ex is on the phone reconnecting with the ex you thought was just a friend.

You would be royally pissed because there is just no way it starts up again that quick without something going on during that six year period. Hope Terri gets to keep her new house. (which is amazing)

This Is Getting Ridiculous

Liz Hurley in a reality show. If that isn't bad enough, it is going to be a reality show that will force us, the viewer to suspend our belief in reality. How? Imagine a reality show where all of us get to watch Liz all day as she spends her days looking after the animals and day to day chores of life on her farm.

Umm, yeah. Liz might own a farm, and she may have, in fact, petted an animal at some point in her life that wasn't involved in some odd sex encounter, but there is no one alive who thinks she is out working on a farm on a daily basis.

Was that the only way she could sell the show? I wouldn't watch a show with Liz Hurley in it anyway, but don't you think the first time there is film of her trying to milk a chicken or collect eggs from a cow that someone will catch on to this little game?

If she is in face going to do a reality show, then it should film reality. It should be her probably waking up in a separate bedroom from her husband, untying, and then kissing Hugh goodbye as he sneaks out the window, ringing a bell to have someone bathe her, and then after a four hour bath asking someone again what the name of her kid is.

That's reality. You might get me to watch something that shows Liz as she is, as opposed to some Green Acres fantasy that no one will believe. Damn, why did I have to write Green Acres? Now I will be singing that damn song all day. Just so you don't feel left out, and so I have some company in my singing today, here is the song for you.

NY Daily News Blind Item

What designer's grandson was a "tiny terror" at Super Saturday in the Hamptons last weekend? As Lorraine Bracco, Christy Turlington, Kelly Ripa and 1,500 others shopped at the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund benefit, "The kid was a category 5 tornado," one shocked shopper tells us, "knocking over clothing and displays." He then lifted a woman's dress, and, the source adds: "Neither his mother nor a nanny bothered to intercede. [The mom] didn't seem the slightest bit embarrassed." Finally, after several hours of misdeeds, the child was taken home.

Today's Blind Items - Soaps

This one almost sounds like a soap. So, CBS soap and you have a former star (#1)who broke up with her celebrity boyfriend (#2) for a guy on the show (#3). Well turns out that he was really enjoying her while she was with the other guy but didn't really want her full-time. Then after she did break up with her celebrity boyfriend and was expecting to be swept into her arms, she must have been devastated to learn that another woman on the show (#4) had also left her actor husband (#5) for #3 as well. Got all that?

#2 is all alone. #3 & #4 are together

Random Photos Part One

Billy Elliot on Broadway. Why the hell not start with it. I really loved that film. My one question about it though has always been whether they really needed the shot of what happens in the future. Kind of ruins any chances that Billy may have broke an ankle while dancing, started using drugs and then ended up selling stereos out of the back of a van.
Abi Titmuss' book is called The Secret Diaries of Abigail Titmuss. Forgive me if this seems obvious, but if you publish your diaries, are they really a secret anymore? Shouldn't it be called something like "Used To Be Secret Diaries, But I Needed Some Cash."
I know nicht in German means not, so does it mean that Adam Sandler doesn't have a dick shaped like a leg? I'm probably missing something.
It has been forever and a day since I have had Autumn Reeser in here. She has totally changed.
Alan Rickman almost made the top spot just because I think he's great and doesn't get enough respect.
Coldplay - Pemberton, BC

Hello Cate Blanchett. I promise I'm looking right into her eyes.
Bruce Springsteen - East Rutherford, NJ
Now which Bill do we confuse Bill Pullman with?
Wow, Emma Watson looks 18. What a refreshing change. Someone dressing their age.

How long do you think this whole getup actually lasts for these flight attendants when they are working a flight?
Dita von Teese in her normal pose.
Have to say, I'm liking this one better. Maybe because she never faces the camera directly, but she looks completely different here.
I think this is the first time for Chris Pine.

So, nothing to say about Judd and Leslie. I just want to go on record right now that no one better try and remake Ghostbusters. Ever.

I think Ian Ziering's sticker says "Hello, I used to be famous."
Isabella Leong looks gorgeous.
I think Heather Tom looks great as well, but I can't stop looking at the guy in the black suit and trying to guess what the hell he is doing.
Frank Bruno seems kind of shy for a guy who would kick the crap out of you as a boxer.

I'm going with the whole new boobs thing or hair or pregnant for Kirsten Dunst.

Been a long time since I had Jill-Michele Melean on here. You look great.
Jealous Girlfriends - Brooklyn
Just because I know you all like James Franco. You would think as much as all of you love him that he would be in the tabloids sometimes, but nope.
James Denton always seems popular also.

Yeah, but does Ne-Yo know the song?

Everyone is always making comments about shoes they like. So, apparently someone thought these were interesting or they wouldn't have taken the photo. They belong to Natalie Imbruglia.
A new way to get rid of jellyfish stings? Judging by the reaction of red speedo boy, I'm guessing he likes it. No, not the face. Lower.
Kenny Loggins - Readington, NJ
Remember that Bai Ling comment I made last week about the tattoo she should have got. Well just bring that comment over here.
Just at that instant, Chris Martin dropped trou and poor James fell to his death.

Prince Charles getting his groove on. I'm guessing he is listening to "Gettin Jiggy With It"
"I tell you, I get no respect."
"Ignore the hand, coming to rest on your ass. Ignore the hand."
Apparently Miranda Kerr has come to her senses and did hook up with Orlando Bloom in Paris.
The Umbilical Brothers just because it has been awhile.

Travis - Incheon, Korea
Taryn Manning on the set of her new music video. Yeah, I didn't know either.
Teri Hatcher performing live. How I feel for her poor daughter.
Wow. A multi-millionaire and he can do the Vulcan thing.

This Is Just Wrong

I have spent some time hammering away at Celebrity Rehab and now it is time for some pontificating towards its spin off show Sober Living. Last week they lost Steven Adler and this week it looks like they lost Shifty Shellshock.

Lets see why a show entitled Sober Living may have lost one of their stars.

"While shooting scenes for the show on Friday night at GOA nightclub, he skipped out on production -- leaving the cast high and dry."

Ummm. You are shooting a show about sobriety at a nightclub? On a Friday night? What kind of sick f**ks do something like that?

"Hey, I've got an idea. Lets torture the hell out of our patients by making them work the bar or wait tables at a nightclub on a Friday night. It will be fun to see them sweat and shake. You just know one will booze it up right there on camera."

I'm really finding it hard to believe there could be any logical, sane reason for filming at GOA. In addition, the producers of the show are worried that he may have relapsed because they paid him in advance and think he might be using the money for drugs. OK, so wait. You think he might be using the money to get high again and yet you still wanted to take him to a club? So basically the producers and VH-1 are using all these people as puppets and filming them all. It is one thing to do that when they are just some has beens or reality wannabes or any of the Hogans. It is another thing though when it is someone that is trying to get sober, you allegedly get them clean and then do your damnedest to make sure they fall off the wagon just so you have better television.

That's sick and they should all be ashamed.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which celeb is desperate to keep his girlfriend a secret because he's afraid his string of mistresses will find out and it'll scupper his chances with them?

Alanis Kissed A Girl - Didn't Like It - No Cherry Chapstick

See what happens because I don't watch SATC reruns? I didn't know Alanis Morissette was on SATC playing a lesbian and making out with SJP. Learn something new everyday. Alanis said she hated the kiss because SJP didn't do it with any passion or slip her the tongue or anything.

Alanis played a lesbian and SJP played, well the faceless, expressionless, same one dimensional character she always plays and kissed Alanis. Whatever. I think we all could probably agree that kissing SJP is probably not going to be a life changing experience for anyone.

What was actually interesting about the interview Alanis gave where she talked about the kiss was the fact where she has been involved in multiple same sex relationships. Now, by my calculations she has basically gone from one guy to another so these same sex relationships she is referring to, must have been while she was with the other guys. So, Ryan Reynolds? What say you about it? Is Scarlett J giving you the same kind of service?

Maybe that's why Ryan broke it off. Maybe he was tired of the other women being brought in and then making fun of his peen. Now here is some good conspiracy stuff for you. Alanis does love the ladies. She said it so we will go with it. Now, because of various factors, one must think that Ryan was perhaps there when these incidents occurred. Now, who was the first person that Ryan was rumored to be dating when he and Alanis broke up? Remember? Jessica Biel. Just saying.

Ronson Still Not Playing Ali Lohan Song

Samantha Ronson is pissed at bloggers and the tabloids who have said she wouldn't play Ali Lohan's song during one of her DJ sets. Specifically she is pissed at the NY Post. Here is what Samantha said on her blog.


Sunday, July 27, 2008

i mean..... really?

ok- so i don't make reference to most of the crap said but every now and then my patience wears a little bit thin----

from page 6 today

ALI Lohan is trying to make it big with her new single, "All the Way Around," but she's not getting any help from her big sister's girlfriend. Samantha Ronson, who's been dating Lindsay Lohan for several months, refuses to play the single during her DJ gigs. When Ronson played the Sephora party at the Angel Orensanz Foundation last week, a spy said, "[Mom] Dina showed up with a copy of the song for Sam to play - but she refused. The song is really bad."

1- I really like the song- as soon as her myspace page goes up it will be a song of the day-

2- the only person who showed up with a cd for me to play was my lil step brother chris- he is in my top friends- i played his song coz i like it

3- where do they come up with this sh*t????

4- the most pathetic thing of all is that richard johnson is an old friend of my mother's and therefore could have easily fact checked this one..... however- it would seem that no one cares to do any of that anymore- in fact- i'm sure if i looked up the last 10 times my name appeared on that page i would find that none of it was true.

i wouldn't be responding to this one- but i'm afraid that people might actually believe that and that's not fair to Ali. She's 14 years old- high school is bad enough- do tabloids really need to torture teenagers as well?

well then- with that out of the way- I hope you are all well and check out the single on itunes- it's a great f***ing pop song!

xosamantha

Now, I hope that all of you noticed that instead of saying something like she has played it or is going to play it, that she doesn't say anything like that. Nope. Instead she says its a great song but you get the feeling that she is never playing the damn thing. If you really liked a song and it was by your future possible sister-in-law, don't you think that you would say you were going to play it if you were going to or had or even if you weren't just so Lindsay would let you sleep in the bed and not on the couch?

Oh, and speaking of torturing teenagers. What? The tabloids are supposed to give everyone a pass until they turn 20? That's ridiculous and even more so when you consider the fact that she signed herself up or her mother did anyway for a television show which is chronicling the very song we are talking about here. So, Samantha. If you love it play it.

Oh, incidentally in case you wanted to know about the musical taste of Samantha Ronson. According to her MySpace page she is currently listening to Rumors by a singer named Lindsay Lohan. Well that makes one person.

Domino's Delivers

Drinking and driving is idiotic. Drinking and driving to go pick up a pizza is worse. Most pizzas are delivered but for some damn reason Shia LaBeouf decided that unlike 90% of the rest of the world he would drive to pick up his pizza. So because he couldn't stand the idea of sitting at home quietly waiting for someone to deliver his pizza, he got in his big ass truck, rolled it and was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving. Lucky for him the only person who was seriously hurt was Shia. The person he hit in the middle of the intersection and the girl in his truck were injured, but apparently not seriously.

Despite the fact that two people were injured, what did Shia's people have to say about the incident?

'Attorneys for Mr. LaBeouf confirm that an automobile accident involving an additional party occurred early morning in Los Angeles on July 27, 2008.

'Shia is currently recovering from extensive hand surgery with plans to return to work on the set of Transformers 2 within one month. No further comment will be issued at this time. '

Well its good to know that the business of making movies can continue. Umm what about the other two people who were injured? Well since they aren't making any films right now then Shia's people don't give a crap about them. Oh sure they will probably arrange for the injured people to get a free t-shirt or a great Transformers hat. Not Transformers 2. No, they will just find some of the old stuff and send it along.

They make it seem in their statement like Shia is the victim and that the world should be praying for his recovery and not that he could have killed someone out there. I really still can't believe they plugged the film he was working on, yet totally ignored the two people hurt. That is mind numbing. Well maybe that Megan Fox Transformers coffee cup will make up for it.

I Thought It Said She Did Dr. Phil

I really need to read more carefully. I was reading a story from Fox News about Ashley Dupre and it said she sees herself as a Dr. Phil type and somehow I thought it said she liked to do Dr. Phil. I know, I know the thought she thinks she is Dr. Phil is way scarier than her actually doing him. I mean you would figure that she has probably had sex with like 1,000 guys so some of them must have looked like Dr. Phil or talked like him or liked to dress like him or liked to pretend he was Dr. Phil and she was Oprah. I know it sounds bizarre, but you have to figure that all these guys weren't just sticking to the basics.

So, the day where that married New Jersey guy admits he had been sleeping with her for a month is the day her spokesperson lets it slip that Ashley is working on a $2M deal which would involve an interview about the Spitzer thing and her very own talk show. She is really interested in "something that cleans up her image." You know, something that say, "hey, I don't sleep with married guys anymore and wreck their marriages. Except for the one that I'm doing now."

According to her spokesperson, Ashley sees herself as a Dr. Phil type and wants to help people with their problems. Somehow I see lots of guys volunteering to be on the show and know exactly what their problems are and how she can help.

Oh, the NJ guy who has been sleeping with Ashley for the last month is "ashamed." He isn't ashamed, he is just ticked off he was caught, and I guarantee you that at work he is sharing the stories with anyone who will listen.

Kerry Katona Not A Hooker - And Never Has Been

I've written some posts previously about Kerry Katona, but I understand most of the readers in the US probably don't know who she is or even give a crap about her. Fair enough, I really don't give a crap about her either usually. Oh sure she's fun when people are accusing her of drinking or doing drugs while pregnant or trying to keep track of which guy knocked her up this time or if the guy in question even has a job. She can even be interesting when she has put herself into treatment centers to deal with abuse or her various mental issues. She's kind of like the Britney Spears of the UK except for the fact that for some reason companies still continue to give her gobs of money to promote their products. Iceland above signed her up for another $500,000. Apparently they think she is a fine role model for their customer base. I'm surprised they didn't use the first shot of her smoking while pregnant in their ad campaign. Would have been a real winner I think.

Anyway, she won a court ruling today that said she is in fact was not a hooker before she joined the group Atomic Kitten. The Sunday Mirror had heard that Kerry's mom was going to write a book and call her daughter out as a hooker and so they reported it. Turns out it wasn't true. So, despite your thoughts that she fits the stereotype of a hooker you would be wrong. Well wrong in the sense that she wasn't one previously. I have no idea what she does with her free time now. I've seen enough made for tv movies to know that some people have very strange hobbies.

For now though she is about $100,000 richer thanks to the award. No doubt her husband will be glad of that because I think he was about to go back to driving a cab or whatever it is that he does. Wait, is that guy even her husband? I don't know. Is he the father of her most recent baby or the one before the most recent? Who is the father of the current one? I know she had a different father for or two for some of the other ones but I thought when the photos of her smoking and drinking while pregnant and naked this time around that for some reason it was a different dad. Or was this the same pregnancy where she was doing drugs? So confused.

Oh, but she wasn't ever a hooker. Or at least got her mom to stop writing a book that says she was.

Should Have Said Playboy

There's nothing a celebrity or someone who perceives themselves to be a celebrity hates more than not being recognized. It is especially galling when they have been on the cover of Star or The Enquirer 40-50 times at one point in their career.

According to TMZ, Shannen Doherty found out the cops in Malibu aren't sitting at home watching Beverly Hills 90210 DVDs with their loved ones. Shannen wen into the police station there to complain that paps were following her, but none of the cops knew who the hell she was. She explained she was on television. In a Malibu police station that doesn't get you very far.

Then she would have to say that the show ended many years ago, and that since then she had been doing some syndicated talk show/love/dating/match/breakup thingy, and their eyes would roll wonkier than Paris Hilton doing the limbo.

Mentioning her Playboy spread on the other hand would have brought the boys in blue to their feet. Not that they would have recognized her or anything, but in about 30 seconds internet searches would have been run and the entire police force would have emerged from their cubicles in an effort to swarm over the paps.

Cops aren't going to sit around a bar and talk with pride how they helped some woman from a show long gone and dead hide from 2 tourists with cameras. They will however gladly talk about how they helped out some chick who was in Playboy and she was so grateful she autographed a bunch of her shots for them, and lookie here, I just happen to have one here.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which newly minted chick-lit authoress needs to keep her extracurricular activities under better wraps? She was spotted desperately wiping her nose and clicking her jaw during a daytime bash out in the Hamptons last weekend and made no secret of the fact that she was flying high as a kite.