Full Frontal Friday

Theo Bos, your Full Frontal Rep today. Nothing says the spirit of the Olympics like peen, and there is peen today, but not as much as normal. It's a theme people. Work with me here. Nudity yes, but not always peen. To see the Olympic spirit or torch or flame or rings, or whatever you want to call it, click here.

Four For Friday - Jackass

#1 - This female reality star from a cable program and sexy as hell, at least according to her did a Starbucks dance. No, not like Eva, but more of a hissy fit. See, when most people get the wrong drink order, or if it is not hot, or whatever they ask nicely to have it replaced. Well our reality vixen decided that what she would do is just take her ice coffee and dump it on the counter and say, "here's your tip," and then walk out.

#2 - Hotel in Las Vegas. Our B list actress from a hit network comedy who is usually friendly must have been extremely upset to pull this kind of diva behavior. Checks in to the hotel with her baby, a nanny and about 10 items of luggage. The hotel is packed, but she wants service right then. Gets up to her room. Says it faces the wrong direction, wants a new suite. Finds out there is nothing available for an hour or so. "Well you better find someone who can clean faster because if I don't have a room in the next five minutes, I am going to tell everyone I know, your hotel sucks. I don't care how many Mexicans you have to call, I want a new room. Now."

#3 - Car rental return. Minneapolis of all places. Our B-/C+ list film actor with a more famous brother returns his car. Dents all over the hood. Everywhere. Dirty. Tells the rental person someone did it in his hotel parking garage. Looks like someone was jumping up and down on the hood. Turns out though our actor forgot to change his dirty shoes which seemed to match exactly the foot size and treads on the hood. Idiot. And drunk still.

#4 - Virgin record store on Hollywood Blvd. Former teen A lister and now basically a has been bum, although still fairly young. Walks through the entire store just randomly throwing CD's and DVD's into a basket. Must be 100 of them. Not looking at any, just grabbing them by the handful and throwing them into this basket. Goes to checkout and wants them all for free. The cashier says they don't really do that. Our has been wants a manager. One comes over and our has been says they are for a kids organization he is working with. The manager looks at the pile and knows the has been is lying. Says he just can't help him. Our has been does the don't you know who I am routine, and the manager says he knows exactly who the has been is, but can't do anything about it. The back and forth continues, and then the has been gives up. Before he leaves though he asks the manager for $20.

Random Photos Part One

Bernie Brillstein - RIP
Christopher Cross - New York
Gerard Butler and Sting in a hockey locker room. Come on. How could I make it any better. I know, I know, but haven't they already both been in FFF?
Gavin Rossdale - Seattle
Don't normally get to see Halle Berry like this and I think she looks really good. She is always pretty, but nice to see her like this.
I know everyone tells me I am supposed to think Jessica Biel is pretty and sexy, but I just don't get what all the fuss is about.

Jonas Brothers - New York
Looks like Josh Brolin and Diane Lane hugged it out.
So, according to the Enquirer, this woman is putting a little crimp
in this woman's plans. Wouldn't it just suck if Holly Madison lost out to another woman after all of this. Hef seems pretty happy with himself. Viagra must be kicking in.
Kiefer Sutherland is looking great.

"Hey Kiefer, remember when I saw you an hour ago and took photos, look, here they all are."
Next thing you know, Tom's stylist is going to tell us that now Katie is wearing Tom's dresses.
Hey Jamie. I'm down to 398 pounds now. How about that date?
I'm guessing that Joey Lawrence is laughing at himself after he caught sight of his outfit in a mirror.

Michael Madsen and his son Luke. Guess things are better in his world.

One of my favorite actors, Michael Jai White.
This is why I love random photos. Luke Wilson and Cheryl Hines. Hope he brings her for drinks as well.
What movie is it that Liv Tyler and Mena Suvari did together? Wait, I remember. It is actually in my mind, and not actually on film.

Nina Dobrev on the Dating Game. "Bachelor #1. Are you romantic?" "Same question to Bachelor #2 as well."

"Mmmff."
"Dirty, but romantic, yes."
Molly Sims looking lovely as usual.
I'm assuming that is some 50 pound weight belt around the waist of Matthew and that he is in fact, not pregnant.

It just gets worse with every photo.

Rudy Reyes makes his first appearance in the photos.
Is that shadow or did Paul Rudd shave off half his left eyebrow at some point?
So, two nights ago Nicole Scherzinger was making out with will.i.am and last night back with Lewis Hamilton.
Sex tape anyone?

Tila Tequila and her new girlfriend Courtenay Semal.
Tom Arnold giving us more proof of the fact he is an idiot.
Three first timers. Sean Nelson, Jesse Williams and Harmon Walsh.
Shar Jackson and Kevin Federline were at the same party last night. So, nine months from now would be May.

Your Turn

So, I thought last week was pretty interesting. Seems as if everyone enjoys talking about their childhood. So, lets take almost the same question, but in a little different way.

What was the first movie you remember going to see at the movies, and what was the first rated R film you ever saw at the movies.

It Was Just Sex

Well, John Edwards finally decided to admit he had an affair with Rielle Hunter. In an interview scheduled for Nightline tonight, Edwards says he and Hunter did the dirty a bunch, but that he didn't love her. Oh, good to know. Just about the sex. While your wife has terminal cancer you go ahead and stick it in somewhere for sex. Hey, that's what porn is for.

Look affairs happen all the time. I guess that this one just sickens me a little more than most of the rest because of the fact his wife is dying. Instead of worrying about his wife and her needs he is worrying about trying to find a place to do have sex without anyone knowing about it.

While his dying wife is campaigning across the country for his losing Presidential bid, he is off shacking up with someone at a Motel 6. They leave the lights on. This of course makes it much easier to get photos of what's going on inside and if in fact John Edwards does like wearing diapers when he has sex.

Now, as for the baby, Edwards is convinced it doesn't belong to him. Of course he hasn't taken a paternity test so at this point he is just guessing and doing the please don't let it be mine dance.

Olympic Opening Ceremony

For the full article accompanying these photos, please click here.

That's Going To Leave A Mark

In something that must cause a kid to stay up all night wondering what could have been and has probably led to the worst parent child arguments in the history of the world, JoJo Levesque told Extra yesterday that she was the first choice of Disney for the Hannah Montana role, but that she turned it down.

"Yeah, they offered me the role , but it wasn't what I saw for myself."

Well that is certainly a very well thought out lie. It probably is what her parents told her before they decided that she would be better off being a one hit wonder and doing a small role in RV. Of course I love that film, but last I checked she didn't earn a billion dollars for the role, nor did she get to become the most famous teenager on the planet. But, hey, it's all good. I'm sure that her new Lifetime film True Confessions Of A Hollywood Starlet will be a monster hit for the 25 people that watch it.

Can you imagine how close we came to none of the Miley Cyrus stuff. No Billy Ray Cyrus except in a 8 week run on the Surreal Life. No Vanity Fair scandal or caring that some 15 year old girl was posing in her underwear.

Hey, JoJo, you are not the only one who is upset about all this.

Keira Knightly Needs To Lighten Up - But Not In A Beyonce L' Oreal Way

I hate when people take themselves so seriously that they can't even take a joke. Obviously I love to have fun and laugh and give a lot of crap, but I also know how to take a lot of crap as well. You learn to do that when the basement door locks from the outside and the light switch is outside the door. God help me when the parents get too much to drink in them.

Anyway, James Corden apologized yesterday after being snubbed by Keira Knightley for a joke he said about her five months ago. He was introducing a videotape of Keira accepting an award for Best Actress. Apparently this is the kind of award show where you let the winners know in advance they have won so they bother to show up. Anyway, in his intro, he said they had just finished three days of "sensual lovemaking" and "solid shagging."

Apparently Keira was pissed and repeatedly ignored him at a party last week. To me this is just someone who thinks she is either obviously too important to be joked about, or is the most sensitive creature on the planet, or just was at the party and had absolutely no idea who James Corden was so blew him off. Yeah, I'm going with the self-important narcissistic a-hole as well. Not one of my original options I know, so if you are scoring at home, I will take all answers you may have given with the exception of ignorance of James Corden.

Of course I guess he could have got his hair cut since the presentation. I mean it has been five months. That is one hell of a long time for a grudge. I would hate to see how her boyfriend gets treated when he leaves the seat up. He probably is afraid to sleep for weeks on end.

Kate Hudson Talks Boyfriends

In an interview this month with W Magazine, Kate Hudson spends some time talking about her ex, Chris Robinson, and says she will talk about him all the time. As for talking about any other guy? "I've learned that things are better left private until you’re actually planning the wedding."

I think what she has learned is that the way she goes through guys that if she starts talking about one guy to a monthly magazine, that by the time it gets out she will have already slept with a couple of other guys and everyone will be wondering if she is back with the guy she talked to the magazine about.

Hell, she might even have to stop giving interviews to weekly magazines the way she churns them up and spits them out. Not that she is a spitter because honestly, I don't know. I don't think I have ever actually seen anyone ask her that question either. Could be why so many guys break up with her though. Either that or the bitchiness. Yeah, probably the bitchiness. That and having your parents show up to the first date. Oh, and the whole if you date me, you could end up like Owen Wilson and be half the guy you once were.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which celebrity chef is getting himself in boiling hot water with his constant flirty texting to various girls he works with...? ...

Talk About Staged

Clay Aiken became a dad today. Of course by some weird f**king coincidence, the kid was born on 8/8/8 at 8:08 a.m.

Talk about wanting some attention. Not that having Clay Aiken be your dad won't give you some attention in the future. As your face is being pounded into a sandbox for about the 40th time that morning, any 8 year old kid is going to know that having Clay Aiken as your dad will be something unique and different.

The kid's name is Parker Foster Aiken, which were either a brand of sunglasses in the 70's or what you got when you crossed Parker Stevenson with Kirstie Alley back in the 80's.

The boy weighed in at 6 pounds 2 ounces and measured 19 inches long so you know Clay is already jealous. Oh, that is the length of the entire boy. My bad.

Today's Blind Items

I think that in the blind items there have been stabbings, beatings, overdoses, and even a poison, but I think this is the first time anyone has actually been shot. I know there have been guns being shot, but no one actually hit. The thing about this one which is scary is that even though it was probably an accident, knowing the history of this family, you can never know for sure.

Film star, although back in the day he did some television. In fact even though no one really likes him now, they probably did then. Aging, but not old. B list although he was A list and he could still open a film, although you probably wouldn't want him to. Not a franchise guy. Oh, not Ben Affleck, so lets get that out of the way. Anyway, our actor was at what he likes to call his estancia but is really just a ranch and was shooting off guns with his son. Apparently at some point he started drinking and got angry at something his son had done and just fired down at the sand in front of his son. Missed the sand, but got the son right in the shin bone. Private security guards, a doctor and all just a whisper. The only reason it got out at all is one of the teachers who home schools the child(ren) let it slip to someone who passed it on to me.

Random Photos Part One

Mr. Blackwell, the arbiter of style is in critical condition and will probably not live. I love this guy and love the fact he didn't really suck up to anyone. If you dressed like crap, it didn't matter who you were, he let you have it.
Did Andre J gain some weight?
Cirque Du Soleil - Newark, NJ

I'm sure Bai Ling did her very best to get everyone into the Olympic spirit. Why I wouldn't be surprised if she just stripped off all her clothes and led cheers for everyone. Of course, she probably doesn't really need the Olympics as an excuse for that. If you managed to read this far, the word Olympics brought to mind the fact that since the Olympics begin tomorrow that I think it is only appropriate that FFF is entirely Olympic themed. So, get out your rings and they will show you their torches.
Did they bleach her? Probably. But they also airbrushed the hell out of the rest of her as well so which is the greater offense?
Ashanti - Los Angeles

More Javier Bardem, because honestly, I doubt you will complain.

Even if I give him to you twice.
Echo Jet - New York
"Hi, my name is Denise Austin. Most of you won't recognize me so I am making a muscle and standing out in front of The Ivy so you will notice me. Look, it worked, I'm in a blog."
Have I told everyone how much I enjoy summer? Carla Gugino looks great.
Wow, it is like someone shot her with a tranquilizer gun and she is stumbling to the finish line. On a positive note, Tom's shoes have made it back from their round the world journey.

I think if Mr. Blackwell had not been sick, John Turturro would have been at the top because I really think he is one of the best actors alive, but doesn't seem to get the attention and credit he deserves.
You know what? I am going to say I'm proud of Jamie Lynn Spears. No nannies, no drama, just a regular teenage kid with her infant hanging out at Wal-Mart.
This party Jo Garcia attended was called the Light It Up Party. Somehow I think she lost sight of that and instead thought it was Even It Up and so she came with her lopsided boobs thinking someone could help. Weak wasn't it? I really thought about saying something about the white powder on her breast and how it was renamed Snort It Up. Would that have been better?
Alan Cumming is still on probation for that god awful thing he wore yesterday, but Mena Suvari looks amazing.

There were about 20 captions I came up for this photo, but each and everyone with the exception of a Lindsay trying to look like Benji Madden joke was utterly obscene. So, please have your way with it.
Lisa Bonet on the set of Life On Mars. They better not screw up the BBC version.
Oh, the stories a Lily Allen toilet bowl could tell.
Oh, the stories. Nahh, you really can't do two toilet jokes back to back. It just doesn't work. Keanu Reeves probably uses his car anyway, or the side of a road, or a tree, or a neighbor's house. Anything really.
Why can't Scarlett just do this all the time and just give up on the whole 50's sex siren thing which she has been doing for five years.

Because nothing says Christmas like a Duchess on a fake green elephant.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Rachel Bilson has nice legs.
I think this is the first time Paula Zahn has been in the photos. I think she has been the subject of a rant, but this is the first photos appearance.
Two of my favorite writers. Nicholas Pileggi and Nora Ephron.
I have no opinion on the trial of Victoria Osteen because honestly I don't know who to believe. I will say though that Victoria does a great Denise Richards impression here.

So I'm guessing the Fabio/Molly Shannon tribute group didn't work out.
The Script - London
Stone Temple Pilots - Wantagh, NY
Do you think that right now Sienna Miller is the most disliked woman in the world?

Madonna And Guy Are Ripping Off Tourists

Good to know that no matter your station in life or what you do for a living, everyone wants to take advantage of a tourist and do a little price gouging. The problem with Guy and Madonna is that they hired a guy who couldn't keep the prices straight and so now they are being investigated.

Madonna and Guy own 20% of a pub called The Punchbowl which is next to their London home. Apparently, The Punchbowl has its regular customers and they get charged one set of rates for beers and food while tourists get charged about 20% more on average.

Everything worked pretty smoothly until a new guy moved into the neighborhood. One bartender knew him and knew he lived in the neighborhood and so charged him the local rate of $7 for a pint of beer. The next day he went back in and the bartender having never seen him before assumed he was a tourist and charged him $7.80 for a pint. Whoops. When the customer complained, the bar denied, denied, denied.

The manager of the pub said, "That should not be the case and it won't be the case. As far as I'm aware, there is no change (in price). There is no difference... Everyone should be paying the same."

Uh huh.

Sue Jones, head of trading standards at the local council, says, "In light of these allegations we will be seeking to make contact with the landlord. This may well constitute unfair trading procedures and this is something the council would look into."

All for an extra $. Well Madonna and Guy probably need the money.

People Can Speculate All They Want

So, are your proud of me? I managed to finally pull myself away from the Eva Mendes video just long enough to post something about Eva Mendes. Apparently she gave an interview to Parade. I'm still amazed that more stars don't want to always give interviews to Parade, because honestly, I think that is the one portion of a Sunday paper that almost everyone in a family reads.

Anyway, in the interview she says that she does not want to get into the specifics of why she went to rehab because she doesn't want her mom to get upset. She figures that if she doesn't confirm or deny anything that somehow that will help her mom. She in turn also is encouraging bloggers and tabloids to speculate all we wants about why she went into rehab and that she doesn't really care what we say.

"There are different stories about why I decided to get help for myself. People can speculate all they want. I'm not going to clear up the misconceptions. I have to think of the pain it might bring my mother."

Well, as nice as it is to say that she went in to rehab because Xenu came to earth, tied her down, injected her with heroin and made her watch Days Of Thunder repeatedly it also seems like with what she is doing that she is probably causing her mom more pain than if she actually just spilled.

What is a mom to think when her own kid won't say why she went to rehab and is so awful that it will crush her mother. To me that encourages worse speculation not only by us, but also her mom. Was it drugs, was it a pregnancy that went wrong? If it is your mother, what could possibly crush her? I doubt that getting addicted to Vicodin is really going to break her mom's heart. Actually I think any of the prescription drugs are probably bad, but are not going to break the heart of mom. I think we can eliminate pot from the discussion also. Coke or heroin? That would probably break mom's heart. Meth or crack? Eva was never that skinny so we can rule that out.

What about like doing drugs and the drugs caused you to have a miscarriage or something. That would necessitate a trip to rehab and it would probably break mom's heart if you hadn't told her you were pregnant.

See? This is why speculating and letting tabloids and bloggers license to do so. If I can come up with this, what is mom thinking?

Who Cares?

Some things about gossip I just don't get. I do get the fact that Miley Cyrus is popular and that the Jonas Brothers are popular. I don't have a problem with them being popular, because there will always be boy bands and tweeners and their fans.

What I don't get is why by my count at least 20 websites, tabloids and blogs have spent the time to talk about Miley Cyrus and her comments about her two year relationship with Nick Jonas. The relationship ended last year when she was 14 which means it started when she was 12.

Unless she was doing crack with him in a Denny's parking lot while sitting in a car he stole from his neighbor at gun point, I really don't care about the love lives of 12 year olds. The way this is being treated is as if Miley has come down the mountains with tablets.

Are we that concerned about celebrity that we want to analyze the love lives of kids before they are even teenagers? I'm sure their relationship was just like any other teenage relationship. They talked on the phone or texted or IM'D 24/7 and said OMG and I love you a lot and kept asking each other questions in some type of hieroglyphic code that no one over the age of 16 understands.

They laughed and giggled and she took a bunch of photos of herself in sex 14 year old poses. Whoo hoo. I don't have a television in front of me, but I swear it would not surprise me in the least if one of the 24 hour channels was running quotes from the article on their crawl at the bottom. How is this news? Are hordes of 13 year old kids, reading every word repeatedly trying to get a glimpse into what a relationship with Nick or Miley is like and what they can expect when they become their next love? I need a drink.

No Excuses - They Should Have Gone

Betty Whit went on Entertainment Tonight last night to talk about why all of the Golden Girls cast were a no show at Estelle Getty's funeral, but honestly, I don't understand her reasoning and still think it was really a bad idea to not be there. "Funerals are about [journalism], who was there and who wasn't? That's not about Estelle."

To me it is about Estelle. If you know the world is going to judge by who was there and who isn't there, then don't you think you owe it to Estelle to be there so the world does know you loved her and cared for her?

You all should know by now that I love Betty White and think she is still at the top of her comedic talents even at 86. However, I disagree with the whole thing about this is what Estelle would have wanted and wouldn't have wanted, etc. I agree that you knew her very well, but instead of all the controversy that is now surrounding her funeral and the scandal and drama that none of the cast showed up, don't you think you could have taken a few hours of whatever you are not doing now to show up. It would have allowed the world to focus on the positive and the show and how people love and adore the entire cast. Instead we get a few weeks of why the hell didn't they go? Did they all hate each other and not get along and blah, blah, blah.

Betty said they were with Estelle when it mattered. I'm sure you were, but no one knows you were and now because everyone was a no show at the funeral they won't believe you were there for her. I just think they all should have known they would take a bunch of crap for not being there and it would tarnish the memory and joy of a great show. They should have gone.

What Did You Do With The Rest Of The Money?

Look, I know firsthand the pain of having to go after a former client for money owed. It happens and it is a part of life and business. However, I know, or like to think I know myself well enough to know that I would just let this money go. Lisa Kudrow is being sued by her former manager for money he says she owes him. Fair enough, but lets continue. He is suing her for money she owes him which she earned after firing him. Sounds horrific, but that is what we do here. If a manager is your manager when you sign that Friends deal and then you fire him, you are still going to owe him commissions on that money. My problem with her manager is this. He is suing Lisa for $50,000. $50,000 is nothing.

Scott Howard became Lisa's manager back in 1991 right before Friends hit. He was earning 10% commission at the time and kept earning 10% until the 10th year of Friends. At that point he agreed to lower it to 5%. By that time Lisa was getting $1M an episode like the rest of the cast, and last I checked there were about 26 episodes or so a year. So, 10% of $26M is $1.3M and that was for one year. I figure over the entire course of Friends he probably made $5M-$6M off of Lisa Kudrow for basically nothing. Lets face it. He helped her get on Friends but he wasn't the reason it was a hit. So, to come back after you have made all of these millions and then sue for $50,000 is an ass move. Yes, he will probably win, but it is still an ass move. Eat the $50,000 and move on with your life.

Another Nicole Kidman Question

There is just something I am not understanding about the whole Nicole Kidman situation so perhaps if I sit here and type it out, something will become clear and I will get the answers to all of life's little problems. Not little like Tom Cruise little, but you get the idea.

OK, so you have Nicole Kidman allegedly carrying a child. I don't think it ever moved, and frankly unless it threw up a pair of devil fingers or Nicole didn't screw on the doll's head right and it fell to the ground we just may never know.

Here is my question that perhaps you can answer. The parents don't want to sell photos of the baby. Got it. I understand and agree with them. No problem. However, on a morning show program, Nicole had this to say,

"Keith and I are both appealing to the press and stuff just to give us a little space so we can walk around Sydney and show the baby our town. She's tiny. She's like a doll, she's like a little, little thing. Just [don't photograph] right in her face or in our faces because it's scary for her."

Then Keith added this part, "I get it. I get the interest there is. But at the same time it's our little girl. Sometimes when people come right up in your face and you think: 'Good God, would you do that to anybody else's child?' That's all."

OK, so since the price now for the actual first photo of the kid where you can see that it is alive and not a doll is now approaching $5M don't you think it would make some sense to take a photo of the kid and release it. Do it for free, or charity or whatever, but it would seem to me that if you are really that concerned about your child or photographers getting too close or scaring your child, the easiest way to get rid of them would be to release a photo. Otherwise it is going to be a mad scramble for guys trying to get that $5M photo. For $5M I think most of us would do what it takes to get that photo and we are nice people. So, to me, Nicole and Keith's statements are not consistent with their actions.

Nicole also said in the interview that she was really surprised how easy her labor was. Uh huh.

Lil Kim Is A Magnet For Trouble

I almost posted photos of Lil Kim's birthday party from Sunday but said to myself, "why?" Well now I guess it would have been a good move as one of the guests from the party was found dead. Three days after the party. On the roof of the club. You would think someone would have checked there first. First question from the police would have been where did you last see her? Oh, at this club. So, three days after the party, they say hey, "has anyone actually been to the club and looked?" Lo and behold there she is.

Her name was Ingrid Rivera. She was 24 and apparently was killed by someone smashing a champagne bottle into her head. I don't know what it is about Lil Kim and trouble. I swear she could have had her party at a Chuck E Cheese and there would have been an armed robbery by guys who wanted skee ball machines.

Lil Kim's spokesperson released a statement saying that Lil Kim didn't personally know the victim or see anything unusual at the party. I love the whole didn't know the victim personally bit because what it means is that she knows who the victim was and probably had met her, but didn't know her on a personal level. As to seeing nothing unusual at the party? Well it happened on the roof, so that is probably a pretty good answer. I do know that when the police come knocking that Lil Kim won't be so evasive with her answers. This is one woman who will tell the truth completely after what she has gone through. I hope.

I think it is kind of interesting that most of the photos of Lil Kim from that night show her drinking champagne. Have to wonder if one of those glasses was poured from the murder weapon.

Now, you want this to even get more interesting because it does. Looking at the photo of Lil Kim to our right and her left is a woman by the name of LisaRaye McCoy-Misick. Her husband is the Premier of the Turks And Caicos. In April he was accused of raping an American woman after a party that he and his wife attended. That woman is rumored to be Rosci, a host on BET. Now, normally I would never reveal the identity of a victim of an assault, but in this case it has come out that since this alleged rape which the FBI allegedly investigated, Rosci has been having an affair with the Premier. So, having a woman murdered at a party where Lil Kim and LisaRaye are at, knowing what has been going on in their lives doesn't seem like much of a stretch.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which hunky boybander loves frequenting gay clubs looking for guys?...

Today's Blind Items

Which former A list television actress and now B list film queen has moved from the pot world to the smack world? What started off as a sometime thing smoking it has turned into a two or three time a day injection habit.

Random Photos Part One

When I saw the second photo this morning, I have to say that I was crushed. Annette Funicello to me will always be the spunky Mouseketeer and to have to see her ravaged by MS as she is, just really depresses me. I honestly don't know how she is doing or if she is in good spirits, but I really do want to pass along my best wishes to her family.

A first time appearance for Alex Burns in the photos. He may want to get that cut, or rash or growth or whatever on his hand checked out.
Alan Cumming got a second job as a concierge at a gay S&M club.
I'm back and forth, cold and hot on this member of the Ronson family. One thing I have noticed is that you never saw Charlotte Ronson really invited anywhere or in an photos from events until Mark and Samantha took off. I'm not criticizing her or anything though because I would probably be doing the same damn thing.

Carmen Electra back to looking her age and lovely again. The hand in this photo is actually identified and is not the strange hand that appears every now and again in the photos. Suffice it to say that if I really liked the person, they would also be in the photo.
Ashton Kutcher made Demi laugh so hard she is going to slip a stitch.
First time appearance for Celin Carvajal.
Ben Lee - Sydney

When I was going through all the photos today, I had to do a double take when I saw this blast from the past. This is Kiera Chaplin (granddaughter of Charlie) and was involved in one of my favorite Hollywood stories of all time. I think Kiera is about 25 now, but about two years ago when she was 23 she was the president of a film production company. One that actually did make films. The name of the company was Limelight Films and she was engaged to the guy who started the company. Well, while she was president of the company, the feds came in and raided the place and shut it down. Turns out that her affianced and some other guys were using the studio as a front for laundering drug money. Now Kiera wasn't charged, but now you know why a 23 year old was the president of a company. She also owes me some bucks.

You want to see what Jurnee Smollet looked like as a kid, go watch old episodes of Full House. She certainly has changed. I have always wondered if her parents just didn't know how to spell Journey or if they were making it easier on her, or if there was some typo somewhere.
You ask and I deliver Gerard Butler. Of course to me I think this is the same outfit he was wearing last week or whenever he was last in the photos. Hopefully that is not the case.
Eddie Vedder - New York
I don't think David Blaine has ever been in the photos. I know the collective conscience of the world can handle only one famous magician at a time, but my choice would be David Blaine over Criss Angel. So, if we could go back to David, I would appreciate it.
Michael Pitt and his guest, Death.

Erin Muller's family must be so proud at the thought of the possibility of having Michael Lohan in the family someday.
Jazz hands and cowboy hats. It's Miss Korea time.
The Lundqvist family, Happy and Happier.
Last one of Katie for awhile, but go with me on this one. Change the sunglasses to a more manly pair and tell me this isn't Tom Cruise.
All of a sudden Robert Downey Jr. just got old. He didn't look this old a few months ago did he?

Robert Buckley is another first timer.
But Peter Sarsgaard has been here many times before.
As has the lovely Patricia Clarkson. Love this photo. It has a definite old Hollywood feel to it.
The first time in months that I have seen Salman Rushdie without some 20 year old on his arm.

I will let all of you decide. I do know that Miss Golden Globe looks better with shorter hair.
Another very requested guy is Robin Thicke.
And who is going to complain about Ryan Phillipe without a shirt and sweaty. Well apparently Reese since they aren't together any longer.
Remember how great Rosie Perez looked last week? Lets try and remember that and ignore the fact she looks like Shaun Cassidy here.
Zoe Kravitz is just getting even more lovely.

Love Val Emmich.
Sorry to interrupt your day with a premiere Todd Oldham.
The Fratellis - Sydney
Last time we saw Suzanne Shaw she was being named Mother Of The Year. It must have been outfits like this that impressed the judges.

At Least It Will Give The News Channels Something To Do

So, I guess that whatever Mary Kate Olsen told the feds, if in fact she did tell the feds anything about Heath Ledger and his drugs wasn't good enough. Last night Mary Kate was subpoenaed and now she is going to have to testify before a grand jury.

News worthy? Sure it is. It is a high profile death and some really strange shit happened after Heath was found unconscious. Really strange. Has anyone ever wondered why the masseuse called Mary Kate before 911? I mean really thought about it. I think that almost any human on the planet would call 911 first before making any other call, so to me the fact that she called Mary Kate first says to me that some other freaky stuff has happened in the past with the masseuse or with other Mary Kate employees, or that Mary Kate told someone to call her if Heath was acting strange.

Anyway, I'm guessing that as soon as the 24 hour news channels know when Mary Kate is going to testify that news vans will start camping out in front of the federal courthouse and really start investigating the circumstances surrounding the death much more thoroughly than they have. Someone must know something. There are too many people who were there who must have spoken to someone and that person will be found and interviewed, or bought.

I can just see the scrum that is about to begin. All of the Britney pap people are going to be shipped to New York to stalk Mary Kate. She will not be able to leave her place. When she does leave there will be hundreds of people following her and, although probably wrong, people are going to link her testifying before a grand jury with an actor who died of a drug overdose. She will never be able to get around it. For the next few years even if nothing happens, every interview will have at least one Heath Ledger question in the hopes she will say something she has not said previously.

No one has really dug into her private life previously, but they will now. If there is any kind of hint of impropriety there will be an unauthorized biography and stories will be written and people will be interviewed and her life will never be the same.

Glad You Are Going To Live - Lets Talk Divorce

I'm guessing that over the course of the next few weeks there were going to be some revelations about the woman who was traveling with Morgan Freeman when he was involved in that car accident over the weekend. Her name is Demaris Meyer and she was described in the accident reports as a friend of Morgan.

Well, I'm guessing she is more than a friend because Morgan's attorney told the world that Morgan and his wife of 24 years were getting a divorce, and that they have been separated since Christmas of last year.

The only reason I can think of to detract from all the public love for Morgan right now is that something about his relationship with the woman is going to come to light and it is going to seem a whole lot more palatable to the world if the world knows that Morgan is separated and on his way to divorce. I know that Morgan and the woman were on the way to his house when the accident occurred. Since it happened at 11:30pm on a Sunday night I think we can all guess they weren't going to go online and play Scrabulous together or anything.

I think people were more concerned about his health and didn't really care about asking questions about who Demaris was and why she was with him and where was his wife. Now that we all know Morgan is going to be ok, the questions would have probably started shifting. Who know, maybe the scandal will be good enough to make the cover of The Enquirer or Star.

The fact that Demaris and Morgan's wife were or are best friends might contribute something to that scandal.

Dolly Parton Makes Me Want To Numb The Pain

On Sunday night Dolly Parton was here performing in Los Angeles and in between songs was working the crowd like a good performer should do. Speaking of which I thought that Bette Midler's interview with the NY Daily News today really focused on what is different about today's singers. When Bette or anyone of her caliber gets on stage, they interact with the audience. They tell stories or anecdotes. They make fun of something. They communicate. They relate and it makes their fans extremely loyal. When you see a concert by Britney Spears, you get the music and a thank you at the end of the night. I can get that on a CD. The idea of seeing someone live was that it was going to be special, and that it was going to be different from the record. Sure, you wanted to hear the hits, but you were also there to see the performer and to get a show, unlike something you could go buy in a store. Now, with all the backing tracks and cues required to make everything seem real, you don't get that interaction and I think it is just something that I really miss. I remember seeing Van Halen and David Lee Roth would just talk and talk and talk and talk. Sure, he probably talked a little too much, but it was one of the reasons you went. Although he basically had the same patter for each city, it was still fun to watch and to hear and felt like you had witnessed something special.

Anyway, something that I wish I would have missed was this comment from Dolly in between songs. "Poor little Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. Ain't it awful? If those little girls slept with as many men as they say in the tabloids, why their little butts would have more fingerprints than the FBI!"

After I calmed myself enough to keep my mind from exploding, I thought to myself is this an indication of how Dolly Parton enjoys having sex or is this the way she imagines Lindsay and Britney have sex, and has she actually seen Britney's butt because it ain't so little.

So, I think we can rule out missionary in this little scenario because the fingerprints on the butt would be a little tough. Not saying it is impossible, but certainly not the most comfortable. There really is no way to type this out delicately and so perhaps it is best left for all of you to speculate in which position Dolly has the two little vixens sleeping with all of these guys.

Thanks For The Laughs OK!

As you can see by the photo above, OK! Magazine is really going for the gold by just coming out with every Jennifer Aniston cliche they can find and putting it all in one issue. You have her birthday, her getting married, her being over Brad Pitt, and of course having a baby. All of this is going to happen this year. The only thing they don't mention is how she and Courteney Cox are going in for surgery together to be conjoined at the hip.

I love how on the cover they say it is a World Exclusive like John and Jen actually sat down for an interview with the magazine and revealed all of this to them. The only thing exclusive about is that the other weekly tabloids went with other stories this week so the cliches and rumors about Jen and John are exclusively the domain of OK! for this week. Next week some other tabloid will have the exclusive.

For some reason, whenever I read phrases like that, it really ticks me off. I'm not stupid, and neither are you, but I hate the fact that basically OK! is lying to people in an effort to convince them to buy their magazine. When the average person sees that cover photo and the whole World Exclusive thing, they are being induced to buy it because they believe that Jen and John are speaking. They are not, and for some reason it is one of my biggest pet peeves. Another pet peeve is when magazines use quotes which are nothing more than double speak. This is my favorite quote from the article.

"It wouldn't be much of a surprise to anybody if they moved in together before years end," a friend of Jen tells OK!. "And if they do, you can bet there will be serious discussions about having children."

Well first of all the cover promised me a wedding not living together, so where the f**k did this come from? When the average person reads this they will probably read it quickly and will just assume that Jen & John are moving in together and will be having children. Unfortunately it says neither of those things. It is a bunch of ifs and for some reason I just feel like the tabloids are preying on people and getting them to believe this garbage. I like gossip. Hell I love gossip and speculation but come out and say something speculative or make a guess. Don't be wishy washy. The quote above is exactly what any politician says when they are running for office. There are words there but there are no promises and no guarantees. It allows for modification if something goes astray.

Take a guess and be wrong. Who the hell cares if you are wrong. No one will remember it anyway, but at least you took a stand and said something. It isn't like you are going to get sued for anyone if you say that Jen is going to get married. Why the hell should she care.

Take that quote and say something like, "John and Jen are moving in together by the end of the year. Neither Jennifer or John has really ever looked or acted as if they even enjoy kids, so they probably won't be having any unless it is an accident."

Wrong? Well probably on the first part, but who cares. It is better than the drivel they are trying to pass off as gossip. As to the second part, it presents a discussion topic around the water cooler.

It's Just Sarah Jessica Parker

In another sign the world is collapsing as we speak, Sarah Jessica Parker is claiming that the apartments surrounding her apartment are now not filled with regular tenants, but instead are filled with paps who basically have her surrounded 24 hours a day. Now, I know that my math skills do not extend much beyond what I can do with my fingers and toes but to me this seems, if true, a colossal waste of money.

How much money can a juicy photo of Sarah Jessica Parker generate? I mean do they really think she is going to bring some guy back to her place and have sex with him on the front stoop just so the paps can get a good photo? The only photos anyone ever gets of her are her walking down the street, going into a store, out of a store. Who the f**k cares? They can do all of that from outside in the street. I just don't think that Sarah or Matthew are going to do anything stupid enough to warrant the prohibitive cost of renting a NY apartment. Does seeing a photo of Sarah walking with her kid on page 63 of a magazine make you more likely to buy the damn magazine? So, where is the market?

The only thing I can guess is that perhaps the paps are in the apartments for other reasons or have other tools other than cameras to catch some type of illicit remark or conversation. Of course that would be illegal, but can always be attributed to an unnamed source or insider. I guess if you have a parabolic mike or a bug that would certainly be an insider and would probably actually lead to revelations that would get a cover story and sell magazines.

"Photographers moved into apartments next door to us and we really found ourselves kind of living like a spy movie... I feel like they think they have to be there. Like they punch in or something."

According to NY Magazine, Sarah and Matthew have had enough of the intrusion and so are about to purchase an $18M home that would keep all their secrets a secret.

Where's The Baby?

Has anyone noticed that everyone has seemed to stop caring about Nicole Kidman and her baby? You never see any reports about the new girl and apparently there still are not any photos of the baby anywhere. I guess the baby has never left her house, not even to see the sun in the backyard. At this rate, the baby will even be more pale than mom. I would think that if the baby had ever crossed into the free world that the paps who must surely be staking out Nicole and Keith's house would have taken a photo.

Now there is news that Isabella and Connor visited Nashville to take a look at the baby. Hopefully they actually checked to see whether it was in fact, a baby, and not some Peeing Polly doll or something similar. I'm just shocked that no one managed to get a photo of Tom and Nicole's kids visiting Nashville or the house or anything.

Am I missing something? Did I have a blackout and miss a bunch of photos of the baby or Isabella and Connor's visit? Did you hear that Nicole wanted the kids to be at the hospital when she gave birth but Tom wanted no part of that. I'm guessing he didn't want the kids to learn about childbirth or something because it doesn't seem like an unreasonable request.

Has anyone else seen the baby? Has anyone said it is beautiful or alive, or Chinese or something? Anything? I don't really care what the baby looks like, I just want to know there is in fact a baby. A real live human baby that from all accounts looks as if it is a newborn and could possibly have come from Nicole. A birth certificate would be nice also. Don't they have public records in Tennessee?

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which sexy superstar upset her sibling by muscling in on a huge modelling deal? ...

Today's Blind Items

I've heard of the casting couch, but this puts an entirely new twist on it. So you have a director who is an A list director all the way. Award winning? Sure. The thing about this guy though is that his wife is notorious for coming on a set and finding a woman to play with during the shoot. Invariably an extra, or a woman with a small role, she can often find her role expanded to a bigger role if she is especially good to the director's wife over the course of the shoot. The director himself is never involved in any of the hanky panky, but does acquiesce to his wife's demands for her play thing's role.

Random Photos Part One

Just when you think the world is so small and there is nothing left to find a great story comes out which makes you realize that maybe we just don't know everything. 125,000 gorillas have been discovered in the Congo which doubled the number of known gorillas in the world almost overnight. That is some amazing news and very worthy of the top spot.
Amber Tamblyn looking lovely. Don't worry, all the press will be over soon and then she won't be dominating the top of the photos.
I felt really bad for Alexis today because they had her so far off to the side that she was never in any shots this morning.
Did I miss the memo where everyone was going to start wearing military styled shirts. I love the military, just don't want to be copying a trend that seems to have begun recently by Victoria Beckham.
In all the Bottle Shock photos I did last week I missed Bebe Neuwirth somehow. Problem solved.
Geoff Tate of Queensryche rocking the double pinky ring look. Speaking of pinky rings, did you see that John Gotti Jr got arrested today for a bunch of murder and conspiracy charges. Well, more money for the rest of the family now.

Alessandro Gassman on the set of his new film.
One of the best candid photos I have seen in awhile. Emmy Rossum looks fabulous. When I say candid, I say it in the sense that it wasn't a shoot for something. Sure, it's posed, but she should also get points for degree of difficulty. Wow, I must be more ready for the Olympics than I thought. Throwing out those scoring terms now.
A first time appearance for Chris Messina.
Well apparently people in Japan are prepared to spend their hard earned money on that Vegas film Cameron and Ashton did. I feel sorry for them, but at least they got to see Cameron looking better than she has in a very long time.
Judas Priest - New York

Half an ass of Jesse McCartney. Well, if you want to call it an ass.
Jennifer Esposito on the set of her new film.
Javier Bardem because I know it has been too long.
So, I also gave you one from up close.

Miranda Kerr with no Orlando Bloom around along with Megan Gale. As pretty as Miranda is, it is hard to imagine being with her after Greasy Bear was there first.

Not the first time here for Michael Cera, but I honestly think this is probably the first pap photo ever taken of the guy so congratulations Michael on your first.
How do you know it's new love? Everyday we see photos of the couple and they are always drinking the same drink. When the newness has faded the same drink choices will also fade.
She did that thing with her jeans again.
Is that a shadow, or does someone else see what looks like a bruise right below the scarf on her lower left neck?

As good as Salma Hayek looked the other day. Not so much last night.

It's August, so it must be Christmas at Harrods.
What does everyone think of Patrick Dempsey? I mean we all know he is an ass, but looks wise, do you enjoy when I post him?
If Penelope Cruz would smile, she would look much prettier.
Mike Piazza in a first. Looks good doesn't he?
It might be the strangest marriage ever, but they are still together which can't be said for many. Of course not many women are going to be after Woody knowing what they know now.

Seth Rogen bringing new clothes with him to Dave.
Seth Rogen ruining said clothes.
Scarlett J channels Courtney Love.
You just know she is calling Penelope a bitch. Oh, and Scarlett says she is thrilled to be marrying a Canadian.

Anyone Know Where To Contribute?

When I was culling (fancy word for copy and paste) the Mirror today for their blind item I noticed they had a followup article on the girl in Brazil who was chopped up by her boyfriend in Brazil and put in a suitcase. Apparently the cost to bring the body back to the UK is about $13,000 and neither the governments of Brazil or the UK will foot the bill. The mother of Cara Burke who was the girl killed, only gets about $150 a week from the UK government. Apparently she lives on welfare and so obviously cannot foot the bill to have her daughter brought home.

So, I thought I would turn to all my intrepid readers and find out if they know if a fund has been established somewhere to help bring the poor girl home. I just know that even if I were not close to my child, I also know I wouldn't want her to be interred in some unmarked grave in Brazil that I would never get a chance to visit. It seems to me the most likely solution would be to have the remains cremated and then shipped back to the UK, but that is also probably more than the woman can afford. So, if someone sees any information about a fund that doesn't come from some guy in Nigeria, please let me know.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which posh crooner has been hunting down a sexy northern girl for some hot dates? ...

I Don't Think It Is The Gay Thing

Michael Lohan is being well, uuh, Michael and has gone on the record about whether he would be asked to give away Lindsay Lohan in a wedding between Lindsay and Samantha Ronson. “I haven’t heard anything (about an upcoming wedding) from Lindsay, but if she was marrying Sam, I don’t think she’d ask me to walk her down the aisle,” says Michael. “She knows about my (Christian) faith … she just wouldn’t ask.”

Umm, I think that perhaps Michael is planning his excuses in advance. I mean this is the guy who despite his Christian faith has not exactly been honest and forthcoming about his love child that he had while committing adultery. Guess that page was torn out from his bible. Hey, these things happen. I was going to go into a long and involved joke about hotels and tissues and bibles but thought it was in poor taste. I know it doesn't generally stop me, but hey, there has to be a line somewhere. Mine wanders from side to side and back and forth and sometimes it is really hard to see at night after a few too many drinks, but it is there.

Anyway, Michael seems to think that the only reason Lindsay wouldn't invite him to the wedding is because of his Christian faith. I think the more likely scenario is that if she invited him he would probably try and make a buck off it by either wearing a hidden camera for some tabloid show or taking photos on his cell phone and selling them. There is also the possibility that Lindsay just doesn't like her dad. Hard to believe I know that someone as loveable as Michael isn't loved by the entire world at large and that he hasn't been named the only living saint in history.

What on earth does your faith have to do with seeing your daughter get married? She is your daughter. As far as I'm concerned if I had a daughter and she was marrying the chimps from the Wizard Of Oz, I would still be there. Doesn't mean I wouldn't have a discussion with her about what to expect on her wedding night, but I wouldn't miss her wedding. I guarantee you that if Lindsay does change her mind and invites Michael, that he will say something along the lines of what I just wrote. Minus of course the part about the monkeys and The Wizard Of Oz. Now, he may make some reference to the Wicket Witch, but that would be just his pet name for Dina.

The Fastest Way For Photos To End Up On The Internet

So Miley Cyrus wants to babysit. I doubt she babysits for anyone, but she told Pete Wentz that she would love to babysit for his child anytime he wants. Well, that seems to me to be the absolute quickest way for photos of the yet to be born child to end up all over the internet. There will be the photos of the baby in its underwear and with the shirt halfway off. The baby taking a bath, and the baby posing with its head on Miley's lap. Ahh good times.

It does present an interesting quandary though. Even with the sexy photos that will accompany any Miley babysitting, one has to balance the possibility that your only other option at some point may in fact be Jessica Simpson. Yes, the same Jessica Simpson who didn't know how a diaper worked or how to affix it or clean up after a baby.

I could go on and on about Jessica Simpson, but frankly I'm tired of talking about her. I feel that I have exhausted any possible topic of conversation that would interest me in the slightest about her. Sure, she makes a nice distraction while we wait for any of her nude webcam shows to make their way to the internet, or as I take a break from watching the Eva Mendes CK video for the 4,623rd time, or debate posting the ass photo of Jesse McCartney. But honestly, is there anything left to discuss about Jessica? I actually don't know what her fan sites do all day. Do they just post in the forums about what she wears and says and gush over her? I just can't imagine how empty my life would have to become before I could sit around doing that all day. And then of course I read my own blog and see that she has been discussed frequently as well. So, I'm done with Jessica for now. It's time for a break. I need somewhere else to focus my energy.

I'm not planning on going back to Britney anytime soon. I think the rest of the world pretty much has that covered. Paris is always an option. I mean at least she tends to polarize people and is generally good for some kind of snark on an almost weekly basis. It just seems though as if the same people are always thrust before us, and frankly I'm tired of the thrusting. I know, I know, that's what all guys say. Hey, we're lazy. So, for now, no more Jessica.

Where's The Love?

I don't know about you, but when I think of grandparents and newborns I think about spoiling and love and all those warm and fuzzy feelings that make live worth living. Apparently though things in the Angelina Jolie family are just a bit more formal. In one of the many reports about the Brangelina twins, there is a story going around that Jon Voight sent a gift basket to his newborn grand kids. There were the usual gifts. You know, bibs, blankets, booties, and a DVD box set of his greatest works. Nothing wrong with that except for the fact that the gift was signed "Dear Vivienne and Knox — Bienvenue! xx JV."

Who the hell is JV? Are the kids supposed to run around calling grandpa, Jon? When is the last time you heard any grandfather tell the grand kids to call him by his name? What about all the cool names like Poppop or Pawpaw or Gramps, or Bastard as his daughter so affectionately refers to him?

To me this screams of either a made up story or a note sent by an assistant. At least I hope it is because this really does not seem like a great first step on the road to a warm and loving familial relationship.

Giuliana Rancic Is In Another World

I don't know if Giuliana Rancic formerly Giuliana Depandi and always a pain in the ass to type must be smoking something. If so, she needs to put it away now and go back to having sex with the Apprentice guy no one remembers who she married. According to the NY Post, Giuliana filed suit against her former agency William Morris because they put the interests of their other clients ahead of hers.

Wow. It is really hard to believe that an agency might be trying harder for their clients who earn $20M a film instead of the woman who does E! news and who no one would miss if she left. I mean, don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with Giuliana except her name, and then, only when typing, but if she was replaced tomorrow you would whine a couple of days and then be used to the new person. I can't believe she honestly thinks that the playing field in Hollywood is even. What has she been doing everyday at work for the past ten years. Does she think the people at E! care for her as much as they care for Ryan Seacrest? I don't think so, but she isn't suing them because she knows she would be out on her ass in a second and then she would be a nobody even faster than her husband. The next thing you know she would be co-hosting the morning wake up program in Fargo and telling everyone there that she used to be a big shot.

All this lawsuit is doing is making her look like a whiner. What she should have done is found some train wreck of a celebrity, gone to her bosses at E! and made a reality show. I mean I think it is pretty obvious at this point they will make a reality show about anyone. Instead, she lets Ryan get all the shows and money and she goes home to her husband who is asking if she managed to pass along his script to anyone that day.

She is suing them for all the money she has paid them in the past and for millions in damages. Considering she probably hasn't even paid them anywhere close to a million in commissions that seems like a stretch to me. If I were William Morris I would go ahead and return her $24.56 in commissions and be done with it.

Today Is Brooks & Dunn Day

Ahh, I love the days when I can sit back and find a celebrity to honor. A celebrity, or in this case two who make a difference in the world and unite the world's population in a moment of joy and harmony. Of course the way to have a day named after you here at CDAN is by doing something that very few people in the world have done. If everyone did it, then the world would be a much better place. Until that day, we only have the very few, the brave who try and take the world back for hard working decent, everyday people.

So, last week Brooks and Dunn were doing a morning show interview and related this award winning story. Apparently Brooks and Dunn were on a flight and flying first class. Generally they sit next to each other, because hey, you can't have Brooks without the Dunn and this way if they are sitting together people don't look stupid trying to guess which is which.

So, instead of sitting together on this flight, Brooks was in an aisle seat and directly in front of him was Dunn. Sitting to Dunn's left in the window seat was Paris Hilton.

So, almost immediately after Paris sat down, Brooks started tapping Paris on the shoulder asking her inane questions and then finally asked to see her ferret. At that point, Paris wanted nothing further to do with Brooks. So, she then turned her attention to Dunn who of course was seated next to her. She tried to snuggle closer to Dunn and wrapped herself around him. (From what I understand, he got the antidote in time and is going to pull through with no permanent physical scarring. The mental healing will take years of therapy) When she felt she had ingratiated herself enough and she was apparently confident that he was weighing the merits of a lifetime of Valtrex, she then asked him to massage her feet.

Dunn declined and added for those in earshot, "those hooves are horrifying." She then spent the remainder of the flight as far away from him as possible, tearing through gossip magazines and removing the photos and articles about herself and putting them into a file.

For your courageous efforts gentlemen and for your sacrifices to the world, today is Brooks & Dunn day at CDAN. As is traditional among winners, you may respond with a speech or have a video played. Hearing no speech, we will go with a video from Australian television.

DNfromMN - Movie Review - Pineapple Express

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
Release Date: 8/6/08

The Story: Stoner (Seth Rogen) and his pot dealer (James Franco) get paranoid after witnessing a murder and smoking some weed. Bromance on the run.

My caveat in this review is I have never inhaled. It has been offered to me, but I just passed it on without even thinking about it. I know most of the lingo, but I don’t live in that world. I also haven’t seen any of the classic stoner comedies other than 5-minutes here or there of Dude Where’s My Car. (I’ve always meant to see Harold and Kumar, but it never makes the final cut in the Netflix queue.)

I didn’t like it as much as I thought I would. The trailer for this, using M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” was such a perfectly edited thing, that I thought if the movie were HALF as good as that preview, I would be satisfied. It didn’t quite make that benchmark for me.

I like Seth Rogen, but in this he’s a bit more of an ass than usual, and so a little less likeable. Not sure why they went that route with the character, but that’s the way it is.

James Franco, even with dirty teeth, hair, and a couple pounds of weed, is still kinda hot. That his character is desperate for friendship makes him endearing. Honestly, he saved the movie for me.

What It’s Worth: $5.00 if you don’t smoke weed, $10.00 if you do. It’s about half of an hour too long, particularly in the beginning. Way too much set-up. However, that’s where most of the marijuana jokes are and, like I said, not my sense of humor. The crowd I saw this with seemed to be into it though, and was laughing as the theater emptied.

NY Post Blind Items

WHICH stylish lady on the latest International Best-Dressed List in Vanity Fair is said to be having an affair with a dapper married man who is on the same list a few pages away? "She doesn't care who she hurts," sniped one detractor.

Today's Blind Items

#1 - Well this former B list television actor and now hanging by a thread anyway he can C lister must have given up on ever getting his girlfriend back. Either that or she appreciates when her boyfriend hits on women by saying, "you look just like my ex."

#2 - This B- film lister is a serial cheater. However, his girlfriend knows this and so goes to great lengths to not let him out of her sight. Well yesterday at the Teen Choice Awards he told her she wasn't allowed to go backstage and so she dutifully sat in the audience while he hit on women left and right and filled up his phone with "business contacts."

Random Photos Part One

Bernie Mac. Seems the reports of your death were premature. You are one very tough guy and I know you are going to pull through and make it. Don't let me down. Why the hell else would I watch another Ocean's movie if you weren't in it?
Christina, you are also one tough person and I don't think anything like breast cancer could ever keep you down. You have been through so much in the past 20 years and come through like a champ so one little lump has no chance at all. Take care of yourself.
Morgan, I know you are sitting in that hospital room in Memphis right now just wondering when they are going to let you go down to The Rendezvous and get some ribs. Take care of yourself. You are truly one of the greats.
First, I didn't even know Adrienne Barbeau was still alive. Sure, if pressed I don't recall seeing an obit, but really names blur. She looks better than the last time I saw her which would have been the last time any of us saw her. Swamp Thing. No, wait. She was in Back To School as well. Didn't she have kids when she was like 50 or something?
At this point I almost feel sorry for Brian Austin Green.
Channing Tatum doing the drunk prom shot with Jenna Dewan.

Chad Michael Murray also doubled as a limo driver yesterday.
Who else is going to show you Christopher Lloyd? He looks great doesn't he? He's going to be 70 in a few months.
You know why I like Brittany Snow? Because she sticks up for her friends no matter what. Love that she spoke up for Nikki Blonsky. I mean not that it would be tough to choose between Nikki and some random ANTM person who no one will remember, but still, the thought is what counts.
Black Kids - Chicago

Danica Patrick with some kind of Wonder Woman look and racing boots.

Since Derek Hough is only 14, and too young to gamble or dress on his own, he was forced to watch from the sidelines as his girlfriend played poker. He was forced to sit behind her after he kept asking when she was going to go fish.
I haven't seen pants like that since That Nick-At-Nite - Jeffersons/Partridge Family marathon.
You know you are good looking when you can make an outfit from Toughskins look good.
Speaking of Toughskins. I notice that David Archuleta hasn't taken that chastity pledge that the tweeners seem to be into. My guess it is because he just can't keep the ladies off him. I mean look at those shoes. They scream, hey, I've got big feet so you know what that means.

Yea, Josh I would be pretty embarrassed also if I got a stiffy from Fergie. It doesn't mean you are gay though, so don't worry.

Gillian Welch - Newport, Rhode Island
G. Love & Special Sauce - Chicago
Tip #436 on how to make yourself look more beautiful in photos.
Yes, it's true. Denise Richards is getting paid to do a film. Yes, I posted it last month, but it seems that they are actually going through the filming. Denise is going to be in a Bollywood film. Must be for her acting skills, or the way she mounts a horse.
Nothing really exciting to say about Kelly Hu. Just haven't seen her in photos for awhile.

Kate Hudson sets out to stalk her next victim.
Are you satisfied now? You got some Stamos. Oh God, the hand is back. Haven't seen the hand for awhile.
I say that Jordin Sparks could probably knock out Jesse in under 30 seconds.
Lesson $482 on how to ogle other women and not get in trouble. Do it in front of your wife. Later, make a comment that the outfit was ugly or some other tidbit to make your wife rationalize the lie and your behavior.
Fake smile, but notice the clenched fist of Miley Cyrus and the nails digging into Selena's back.

Can't believe that Kristy Swanson is still married to that ice skater dude. I gave that like six weeks.
You keep drinking things like that you will be doing more than kissing a girl.
No snark about her husband. Katharine McPhee looks great. Now if he would just get a job. So, a little snark.
Explain to me again how exactly Kim Kardashian should have been at the Teen Choice Awards. What category? Craigslist Graduate Of The Year?
Town & Country

Doesn't look like champagne. Probably diet coke.
Minka Kelly looks fabulous.
Mariah Carey was there to show that even though you are 40 you can dress like you are 12.
Miley with her idol, and role model. At 18, the clothes are coming off.
Rage Against The Machine - Chicago

Naah, kids need their dads. However, I do know where you can point it.
Phantom Planet - Chicago
Will Smith is doing his best to bring back the 80's on his own.

Congratulations to Tony Shaloub for 100 episodes of Monk and to Sarah Silverman for getting in every photo with Tony.
My reason for watching 2 Guys A Girl And A Pizza Place.
In case you were wondering how Tim Curry was looking these days.
Or Stacy Keach.

Apparently Brad's Swimmers Work Fine

All that nonsense last week about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie conceiving with the help of IVF have turned into, well, nonsense at least according to Jolie. She told Hello that she and Brad don't have any fertility problems and if they did use IVF, they would have told the world. You know, she probably would. She really isn't one to keep a secret like that. Sure, we may never know if she has had sex with her brother, but I think that if she had used IVF she would have been happy to tell the world.

Instead she assured the world that Brad's swimmers are as strong as ever and that it won't be long before they had back to the pool for another shot. Actually I think those were my words, not hers. I actually think that IVF might not be a bad solution for her. I mean she could still have sex with Brad just for the sake of having sex and drawing blood, but with IVF she could potentially bring 4 or 5 babies into the world with one shot. That seems to be much easier than this one or two a year thing she has going on right now. I mean with 4-5 a year and then maybe a year off, she could have enough for her very own Annie cast production before long. Sure, there would be kids who would have to dress in drag, but the whole family could take the show on the road and make a fortune.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which dog-ugly sportsman left the Nuts Babe Search party early after failing to pull? His looks didn't put girls off. His tackle's a bit lacking, apparently....

Damn You Paula Abdul

Look, I hate waking up. I hate it even more so when it is anywhere in the 6-7am range. However last April I was fully prepared to do so when Paula Abdul was going to perform on The Today Show. It was going to be on a Friday so my plan was to find a few other like minded individuals and just hide down in the basement all night on Thursday and just push through until the dawn and Paula's performance. It was going to be great and I even was going to spring for Busch.

Then she canceled due to some kind of scheduling issues. What the hell does she do even when Idol is filming? Nothing at all. Don't let her fool you with some kind of scheduling crap, she doesn't do jack crap. But, she used the lie, and so it was rescheduled for August. Yep, it's August right now. So, where the hell is Paula and her performance? Canceled due to her busy schedule.

Ummm. Yeah. Why doesn't she just come out and say it. Just tell the world she can't sing, and that her last single was not even close to her voice and that she will look like the worst singer ever if she tries to get on stage and sing at 7am in front of a live audience with some iffy sound equipment.

When she does this kind of thing it just makes the rest of the world want to go back and look at what she did 20 years ago and examine those recordings just a bit more. I mean those records were done at the time of Milli Vanilli, Vanilla Ice and Chocolate, Chocolate. There really isn't such a group, but there was too much vanilla and not enough chocolate so, had to counter that.

Paula should just focus on sipping her gin and juice and not doing anything dumb while American Idol continues to numb all of us. Give it a few more years and then when the show has run its course, Paula can trot every now and then just so we know she is alive and has the funds necessary to buy and maintain new wigs. We as the public don't really need much more than that. Yes, it would have been nice to see her make a fool of herself on national television, but that would have only been fun for the first fifty or sixty viewings. After that I would have felt sad. Don't need to ruin the illusion that was Paula.

Katie Holmes Is Going To Turn Into Jeff Conaway

Did you know that being with a shirt Church of Scientology member can lead you down a path of drugs, back pain, various trips to rehab, no career, and getting drunk with Oasis and Marilyn Manson? Apparently it can. Noel Gallagher has been relating a story lately about how one night he and his brother got trashed last year on absinthe with Marilyn Manson and Jeff Conaway.

Turns out that Noel is a huge fan of Celebrity Rehab. Who would have thought he was sitting at home watching reality television. Anyway, Noel and Liam and Jeff are getting drunk and Noel starts making fun of Jeff's cane. He asks Jeff why he is using it, and Jeff said 'My back's f**ked. F**king John Travolta in 'Grease' - he's so f**king short, they made me stoop over and that's when I invented the famous Kenickie walk!'

The stoop led to horrible back pain which led to pain killers which on and on and on until we have him where he is today. I don't know why John Travolta doesn't lay hands on him or maybe he has which probably would take us down an entirely different path. Anyway, Katie Holmes, you need to protect yourself now. What I suggest is that you get yourself a wheelchair or buy Tom some extra large lifts for his shoes. Not just two or three inch things like he uses now, but some big ones. Some kind of built in stilts. Buy him some platform boots or find some in his closet and then just throw some stilts in there.

I can't handle seeing you on Celebrity Rehab in the future or Celebrity Fit Club or I Used To Be A Celebrity or whatever show they have in the future for drug addled, out of work celebrities with back problems.

Selma Blair Open To Acid - Sobriety Be Damned

In an interview with Arena Magazine, Selma Blair let herself kind of go off on a tangent that probably had her publicist popping TUMS like Skittles. Selma was discussing how the director of Hellboy II thought that perhaps Selma was a trifle insecure and doubted her own abilities. He suggested that she take some acid and that it would fix her right up. Good to know that Guillermo del Toro thinks that. Parties at his house must be a blast. Note to self. Limit yourself to one sugar cube at Guillermo's house.

Anyway, Selma thought it was a fantastic idea. Oh, she didn't actually go through it, but is more than willing to in the future.

"You know what Guillermo thinks? That I should go to Amsterdam and take an acid trip and it would fix my head. I think he could be right, you know.

If I was in the right frame of mind, in a pleasant, creative, chilled-out space, with just the right amount delivered by an Amsterdam technician that would be incredible."

She makes it sound so damn clinical. Like some guy in Amsterdam is going to get an entire medical background check, check her blood, weigh her, ask her questions about the type of experience she is looking for and whether she wants any long term side effects. Come on. It's acid. You take it, and then you just go with the flow. It isn't Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig. It's acid. I'm torn in this interview between slamming her for encouraging the use of a drug which can have permanent effects on you or commending her for her honesty that she would in fact use a permanently mind altering drug. While always wanting everyone to be honest and not sugarcoat everything, I do have a problem with people who idolize her thinking that they have always wanted to try acid, and if it is good enough for Selma then it is good enough for them.

See, all of you are intelligent and are capable of making your own decisions without any input from celebrities. Unfortunately there is a large segment of the population that does exactly what celebrities tell them to do. I know it is hard to believe, but it's true. So, some girl who idolizes Selma Blair and has watched Cruel Intentions 32 times is going to think this is a marvelous idea. Unfortunately the $20 she stole from her mom's purse isn't going to be enough to get her a flight to Amsterdam and a technician who monitors her various vital signs while she partakes of the drug. Instead she is going to do it a party with a bunch of other people and will hopefully come through it all unscathed.

Selma I think understands this predicament which is why she added the whole bit about the technician. She let loose a quote and said, "f**k." She realized what the hell she said and so then tried to lessen the damage.

I think we also have to wonder how that whole rehab thing went with her last year in Promises if she is still talking about dropping acid. Does it not count if it is administered by a technician or if it is legal in the country where you partake. I would have thought she would have answered the question by saying she is sober. Guess this story is more fun.

Mary Kate And Heath

This weekend I must have spent, oh, maybe five or ten whole minutes wondering why Mary Kate Olsen refuses to talk to the feds without immunity from prosecution. I mean everyone else has talked to the feds and to the NYPD, but Mary Kate has kept completely quiet about the whole thing.

I want to make it clear from the outset that I have no information that suggests anything other than what has been revealed so far. Heath's masseuse called Mary-Kate instead of 911 and she called her security team who then called 911 after they had reached the scene.

Odd? Hell yes it's odd, but then again, look at the fashion choices of Mary Kate and then you realize that perhaps she isn't playing on the same field as the rest of us. What could she possibly know that could get her thrown into jail? I thought the whole Oxy-Contin thing had been settled so it seems she would be in the clear on that. I mean unless she has her own little stash of them or something and gave some of them to Heath or has her own little prescription writing thing that she does as some kind of hobby in between Starbucks visits, I just don't see why she needs immunity.

As far as I know, the NYPD never interviewed her as a part of their investigation. They did interview the members of her security team who responded to the place Heath was staying and they obviously did not provide any information that shined any negative light in Mary Kate. If they had, then you had better believe the NYPD would have hauled her ass in, or at least sent someone to question her. They didn't. Actually now that I think about it. She is only like 4'11" and 90 pounds, so really she doesn't have much of an ass so that cliche probably doesn't work as well as it would if they were hauling in someone like Kim Kardashian. I mean they might need an entire squad there if they were going to haul her ass in.

So, why all the fuss? I don't think she contributed to Heath's death so I say give her the immunity just so there are no conspiracy issues clouding this thing for the next fifty years. Immunity would not cover her if she lied to the feds, so let her spill, and spill truthfully and get it all out. If she tries to lie about something, believe me they will nail her and the next thing you know she will be doing some Martha Stewart time. Remember, Martha didn't actually do anything illegal except lie to the feds.

It would be kind of interesting though if Mary Kate turned out to be some jet set drug dealer to the stars and her talking to the feds resulted in this amazing web of deals and intrigue that made Mary Kate actually seem interesting. They could make a book and a film and people would actually go see it. Would make a nice change.

Do You Think Tony Is Sharing

Over the weekend, The Sun reported that Jessica Simpson is not shy when it comes to making sure that Tony Romo is satisfied even when she isn't around to ummm, take care of him in person. Apparently Jessica enjoys performing via webcam for Tony and this includes getting completely naked as well.

She is worried that perhaps Tony is letting some of his teammates also enjoy the show and so asks him before she starts if any are around. I actually think Tony probably does keep it to himself. I don't think he is the kind of guy that shares. I do however think that Pimpa Joe is probably furiously trying to figure out a way to make sure he can monitor the conversations just to make sure that Jessica is doing everything right.

I actually think the story is probably true, although I would be hard pressed to figure out how The Sun would ever be able to confirm it. To me it seems there would only be three people who would know. Jessica, Tony and Pimpa. Oh, and maybe Ashlee which of course means Pete which of course means John Mayer. Oh, Caycee would probably know so Donald Faison would probably know which means the entire cast of Scrubs also sits back with some popcorn at the end of the day to take a look. Oh, if John Mayer knows than probably he told Jennifer Aniston who also told Courteney Cox who told her husband who just couldn't resist and so told Alexis who told everyone in West Hollywood.

I imagine that most Instant Messaging conversations are probably pretty safe from hacking until of course someone actually does make the effort at it and then the next thing you know Jessica is starring in her very own webcam porn series that is blasted all over the internet. Maybe this is just all one big ploy to get people to listen to her CD. You know she probably has it blasting in the background because really, there is nothing sexier than a striptease to the sounds of that hit song of hers "Rent's Due At The Trailer Park."

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which fashionable couple is trying to quash rumors of his infidelities and their possible separation by fleeing NYC to California for the summer?