Friday, August 22, 2008

Four For Friday

#1 - One of the most frequent A listers to the blind items has a way to pick up women which is a bit unusual. Yes, beside the fact he is married this is unusual. What he loves doing is going to wash a load of clothes over on the east side of LA and finding women to take to hotels after. Free or pay, it really doesn't matter.

#2 - A lister? Yeah, he really is. I mean he is a franchise and an action star. Action star A listers are kind of like women who do horror film A listers. They meet the technical definition, but it can be a stretch. Anyway, everyone knows this guy and loves him. What they probably don't know is that on his most recent press trip, he spent more time hitting on guys than doing press.

#3 & #4 - Lunch break for the crew on The Hills allows this drug dealer to make his way unnoticed into the house of one of the male stars of the show. Oh, and he comes over everyday. Sometimes more than once a day. OK, he also takes care of one of the female stars as well, but the male star passes it along to her.

Random Photos Part One

The top spot today goes to Jack Johnson. Not because he is great, which he is, but because our very own jax took the photo of Jack last night at his show in Vancouver. She either had the biggest lens possible or was right up on the stage being pinned by security guards when the photo was taken. Either way, great job jax.

So, we had Guy Pearce yesterday and Don Cheadle last week, so really the only left to do was to combine the two. Can't really go wrong with that.

What I like to call a tennis train. Start off with some Andy Roddick.
Move on to James Blake
and then James Blake begat John Mayer. Hey, John likes tennis so it isn't like the tennis train just abruptly ended. I think he would let you dress him as a tennis player if that is what you wanted.

First time appearance for Jesse Williams. I'm sure it won't be his last.
This is totally new side to Jason Statham.
You know somehow, I think that someone would have been happy to take their photo.
See, I think Hilary Duff is thinking about 40 years of grocery shopping.
Uh oh. Ed Westwick is a biter.
It just would not be a Friday without Snoop Dogg. Just has a special place in all of our hearts. Well, my heart. Probably somewhere else for many of the rest of you.


Its kind of like Elton John in the 70's, but with better teeth.
Matt Walten is yet another first timer.
Max Mirnyi missed the tennis train earlier, but he seems to be popular enough to be invited aboard.
Kid Rock & Johnny Van Zant - New York
Both Will and John borrowed sport coats from two of the journalists there. Can't tell can you?



Unwritten Law - Adelaide
The Whip - Leeds, UK
Smashing Pumpkins - Boca Raton, FL
I guess everyone knows where Sienna Miller lives now.

Your Turn

So, this week I was watching television when lo and behold a Seinfeld episode came on. I know, I know, what are the odds that you turn on the television and a Seinfeld episode is on. Pretty damn good considering I think it is on 24 hours a day.

So, it was one of my all-time favorite episodes. The one where Jerry and Elaine feed turkey to a woman so she will fall asleep and they can play with her vintage toys.

My question is this. What is the toy you absolutely loved playing with growing up and the toy you always begged your parents for, but they never got you.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which celeb couple like nothing more than spending a quiet night in chopping out lines of coke and egging each other on to finish gram after gram of the stuff?

I Watched The Hills


I did it. Last night I finally broke down and watched The Hills. OK, I was in the mood for My Super Sweet 16 so turned it over to MTV hoping against hope that I could get a Sweet 16, or at the very least a True Life involving some kids who spent all their parents money on drug addiction or something.

But, what I got instead was The Hills. Now, of course I know some of the cast of characters, because hey, lets face it they are characters. And, I am not completely ignorant because I did watch Laguna Beach, back in the day. Not that that day was that long ago. It was more like back about a half day ago rather than a full day. I mean you really need to save that phrase back in the day for something, well, back in the day.

Honestly, it was like being in the dentist's office. You thought you would rather face death than to go, and when you were there you were not enjoying it, but when it was over you liked that really clean feeling on your teeth that your tongue can't stop plying with.

Well, all I can say after watching it is that Spencer needs to cut back on the X, Heidi appears to be getting meth face and this guy Doug who took out LC on a date really needs to have that tic of his checked out.

My favorite part of the show, other than wondering if Spencer can in fact actually open his mouth, was the date.

Lauren: I'll have a fuzzy dragon
Doug: What kind of beer do you have?
Waiter: Stella Artois
Doug: Oh, stop right there. I'll have a Stella
Lauren: You can tell a lot about a guy from his drink choice
Doug: And what does me having a beer say?
Lauren: That you are a guy's guy.
Doug:You are so beautiful

The camera then cut but the ended up doing it under the table because any guy who orders a Stella is worthy of doing. Of course if he had ordered a Schlitz he would have only got a hand job.

For some reason every person on the show has the annoying habit of saying a sentence and then jerking their head up. Saying a sentence and jerking their head up. It is like they have it timed to coincide with the camera of a photographer.

So Ridiculous It Probably Is True


I always love the crazy ideas of Amy Winehouse. Not the idea that involves hitting random people on the street or spending time with her god daughter, but her crazy ideas involving Blaaaaaake are always winners.

This latest one involves fireworks on November 5th. See, Amy doesn't want to wait an extra six weeks for Blake to actually get out of jail and enjoy them. Noooo. That would be too simple, and besides there will be too many drugs to do that day anyway for any kind of fireworks show. So, instead, Amy has made arrangements to have the fireworks go off in such a way that Blake by laying on his bunk in his cell he will be able to peer out of his window through two ends of a building, and catch a glimpse of when a firework goes off high enough.

See, this is just so ridiculous that with anyone by Amy Winehouse, I would say this is nuts. But, with her you just never know. Of course the problem is that she wants to light them off herself which could cause some problems if she is juggling her crack pipe and some fireworks.

The Real Reason Why She Named Her Son Zuma


Yeah, read what you want from all the baby experts about how Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale named their kid after Zuma Beach in Malibu or the Neil Young album of the same name. A bunch of crap if you ask me. Gwen and Gavin are children of the 80's and 90's. As such, they really wanted to name their kid Zima. Sure they did. Sitting there for the nine months of pregnancy, Gwen and Gavin would sit around and discuss all the good times they had sipping on Zimas with their friends.



Da Brat Is Da Gone


It's jail for Da Brat. You remember last year when she hit a waitress with a rum bottle because the waitress wasn't attracted to her? Well, Da Brat plead guilty to aggravated assault yesterday and was sentenced to three years in jail, seven years of probation, and just for good measure 200 hours of community service.

This to me, is one of the worst deals I have seen in a really long time. She plead guilty to this. This was her deal. This was the best she could get? Oh, and don't forget the lawsuit the waitress filed against Da Brat and also against the club which is owned by Jermaine Dupri.

Now, even though the waitress worked for the club and was bleeding and in serious trouble that night, the club refused to kick out Da Brat.

Wow. This is the longest sentence I have seen for something like this in a long time. I am all for celebrities standing up and taking their punishment, and I think Da Brat should be praised for that at least, but it seems excessive. You are basically talking ten years and ten million dollars or so. People who murder people don't always serve that much time.

I know, I know, I am usually really strong for victims, and I am here as well. I mean, the waitress was an aspiring actress and is permanently scarred on her face. Got it, but it just seems excessive. Maybe I am just being more lenient because it is Friday.

I Want To Be Cranky



I am getting to that point in life where I want to be the cranky old man who lives down the street. You know the one. The guy who would never throw the ball back, but would either keep it, or send it back over the fence cut up or shredded. I want to be the guy that all the little kids are scared of. The one house they cross the street to avoid because he is always outside yelling at nothing in particular.

Right now, I known more for the pain and misery I cause my parents by living at home, then for being the cranky guy in the basement. I do sometimes yell out the windows at people walking by, but lets face it, I can only see their feet, so they are not exactly terrified.

Celebrities are not immune to this crankiness. You get old enough and you have some money, then you are going to take care of your crankiness in ways most of us can't.

Bette Midler and those pesky tress at her house in Hawaii? Gone. Sean Connery and his neighbors in NY. Wow, talk about cranky on both sides. Now, comes word that Lily Tomlin did the cranky bit and chopped down trees belonging to her neighbor. Just chopped them down because she thought they might fall. When the neighbors called the cops, the lumberjacks split. When the cops left, the lumberjacks returned.

At some point I guess you reach that age where you just stop wanting to work things out or be sweet and amenable. Nope, when you hit a certain age it is just f**k it, chop em down. You figure what are the cops going to do if they come? Fine, they arrest me and I'm in jail for a few hours. Chances are you are retired so it doesn't really matter for job purposes. You know you are not going to prison for years over it, and hey, you got the damn trees down.

Uma's Going To Get Some Magazine Covers


Guess what? Uma Thurman doesn't mind the paps that follow her each day and stake out her house looking for guys she brings home. In her mind, the paps are just people doing a job.

"Sure it's intrusive. Sure it can be a pain. But, at the end of the day it is just people doing a job."

Of course if you are Uma and you have most of the ones who follow you on speed dial it makes things much better. The paps know they can be at home, hanging out and that she will give them a call before she goes out. She will tell them what time to be there, what she will be wearing, and where to meet.

It, is why for the most part you never see Uma looking the worse for wear when you see her photo taken in public. Hair generally looks perfect, makeup done.

You think someone with that close of a relationship with the tabs and the paps might leak a few things that maybe would put her in the best light. Uma really came out ahead in the whole Ethan Hawke thing. Yes, he was boffing the sitter, but you think Uma was just sitting at home knitting? Didn't hear about that part did you?

Ted C Blind Item

Hold on to your hetero panties, ladies, because quite unlike Crotch Uh-Lastic, we've got a far straighter (for real) predator in town. Humpy, quasi-gorgeous reality-star Dexter Lecter likes to lurk around the Hell-Ay club scene looking for his fix or fixes, we should say—for purposes of full-disclosure journalism, as we know that's real important to all you horny hon-pies!—for the night. And let me tell ya, this addict never runs out of willing victims.

See, D.L.'s minifame is rather new, but it's building faster than his body parts, as D.L.'s dating (ha!, doing is more like it) a rather standout character on one of those catty faux reality shows we all can't get enough of. Admit it. Right now. Of course, you live for watching this crap as much as we do.

Despite Dexty's shy game onscreen, he gets quite lucky, big-time when the cameras aren't rolling. His attractiveness is def a help in the female-fishing department, but look—and this is what we've really gotta dish 'bout—his not-so-coy pickup lines scream: SoCal slut of all time. Yum, yum, right?

Uh, not really. Think of it as desultory mix between Porta-Potbelly and Gerard Butler, take a peek: "I can only f--k you in a couple positions, but don't worry, it will be great," he whispered in the ear of one too-too gorgeous T-town hottie who was kind enough to run and tattle right to A.T.! And how lame can you get—only two friggin’ positions? So gay.

What sort of player can get away with such a crass statement? Better yet, what sort of gal goes along with this? Too many, 'cause neighbors see gals galore going in and out of Lecter's hills home 'round the clock. If only D.L.'s reality GF knew. Trust, she doesn't now, but will soon.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Today's Blind Items

#1 - This C+/B- list film actress with B+ name recognition is knocked up. Apparently the person who knocked her up is none other than a married director. That should all turn out well for everyone.

#2 - Speaking of pregnant. You know the American Idol participant who was weighing the Playboy offer? Well it turns out she needs to hurry because rumor has it that she is also in the family way.

Random Photos Part One

The top spot today goes to some of my all-time favorite people and, as far as I am concerned, one of the best bands ever. The Germs.
Shane West didn't get his photo taken with the band, but he is just as much of a part of them now, and he sounds great.
Garrett Morris would have got the top spot on any other day. I love him and I loved when he did the news with Chevy Chase.
You know it must suck when you are the only face on the poster of a nationally released film, and yet everyone is screaming out "Bruce, Demi, Ashton."
You can always tell when people are not used to flipping someone off. Bijou Phillips definitely needs some practice.

She might not still be the most beautiful woman in the world, but Aishwarya Rai still looks great.
"Move it along people."
"Demi. Demi. Demi. Pull my finger."
Amber Heard is actually looking decent here. I like this look much better than the cracked out, weigh ten pounds look.
It has been awhile since I had Devon Aoki in the photos so I will spare you the photos zoomed in on her face where she looks completely whacked out.

"Where's Catherine?" Yes, I understand it is a funeral for her grandmother, but sometimes you need to lighten things up. Did Michael Douglas not show up?
Charlize Theron does her best Meg Ryan impression from When Harry Met Sally.
"So, Carmen. We have an idea for a photo shoot that will appeal to 12 year old boys. We want you to ride around on a low rider bike." I'm sure this all makes sense to someone, but unless she is selling the shoes or the bike I don't get it.
Did Bruce Willis get really old really fast?

I'm going to have to knock Eva Mendes from the top spot. Maybe I just want Entourage to start again.

Yeah, yeah, I know you love him. I'll be quiet.
Anyone want to take a guess what Demi is looking at? Or who?
When Dave Grohl is in the photos it is always with Foo Fighters so, I never have a chance to make witty comments. Not going to be any today either though, because I don't know what else to say. Mentos. How is that? Would that have worked?
I think from now on all celebrities who are on the cover of a magazine should have to pose next to said magazine so we can see if it is really them. Actually Delta Goodrem looks fairly close, and besides, I think it is an album cover and not a magazine.
You get the feeling that Justin Long is scared the camera is going to take a piece of his soul? Yeah, probably just posing.


Want to know something sad. The Longshots had its premiere at the same time as House Bunny. Ice Cube and company had two photographers show up, and House Bunny had approximately 100. Which film do you think will make a bigger profit?
Guy Pearce has been in the photos before right? Can't find him.
Not a big fan of Fred Durst, but he looks good.
It must suck to be famous because of your character and to always have to wear a mask. This is El hijo del Santo. Of course he could just be wearing it because he had a breakout of zits.

That is a lot of legos. Hey, but $400, it will keep your kids busy for about 30 minutes. Then they will realize they can never do it and start throwing them at each other. But for $400, that seems a small price to pay for their enjoyment.



Kevin Smith gets an award and still does not dress up. But, I love him anyway.
The other Tisdale. I always love when Jennifer shows up because you can just see how excited she is to be let out of the house.
Get well Jean Reno.
It worked. John Lithgow wore a crazy hat and someone noticed that he too was in the same play as Katie Holmes and took his photo.
Rhys loves Kim until Sienna calls him for a booty call.


R.E.M. - Mannheim, Germany
A first time appearance for Paige Davis.
At the Sex And The City premiere in Japan, I think this was either Madonna's house boy as a special guest star or a typical Tom Cruise party. I'm not quite sure.
Hey, they must love each other. They are wearing the same clothes. Later they will switch like Tom and Katie.

Now how is Will Smith supposed to get that home?

The puffy shirt is back.
A man who should get more respect than he does is Tyler Perry. Genius.
Lesson #418 on when you have had too much to drink. You start taking your clothes off in the club.
Wow, Robin Thicke just looks completely cheesy here.