Full Frontal Friday

Yes, it is that time again. I need to tell you that there is a photo that may or may not get me a cease and desist letter so it is best to click through and see it quickly while it remains. I won't say who it is, and it is not the best shot, but at least it is real, unlike the fakes from last year. Oh, and you also get Rupert. So click here to view them all.


Rupert Everett

Four For Friday - Fashion Week Roundup

#1 - Never been in a blind before. I love first timers. Too bad she had to be such a b**ch to make it in. Former B- and now a solid C lister. Primarily television. Oh, definite B+ name recognition. She was on big, big network shows. Hit network shows. Anyway, she was asked to do an opening for a new fashion line. The company thought she would be a good fit. The only thing she cared about was the paycheck. Scheduled to be there an hour, she stayed 5 minutes, and left.

#2 - It's one thing to play the "do you know who I am game" if you are actually someone. What really sucks is when the person playing it has to resort to, "do you know who my father is? The person in question is actually an actress, although C-. The last name doesn't hurt, or else she would be D. Apparently she wasn't satisfied with just one $1000 bag worth of swag and decided she was going to take 10 and give them away as Christmas presents. She was rebuffed, threw the dad thing out there, and the worker after discovering the identity of the dad, said, "I wouldn't give him ten bags either."

#3 & #4 - This former B+ list actor from an acting family (not the Baldwins) who was once on a hit show. Sounds like he is old, but not even aging. Anyway, while his girlfriend (model, sometime actress, also a famous family) was backstage at a show, he spent the time working the front of the show collecting phone numbers. When he was asked by one woman about his girlfriend and he said they had an open relationship. So, when the girlfriend came out to the front, she was asked about the open relationship. The girlfriend said, "it is now," and then walked out of the show.

Random Photos Part One

Yesterday we had Keith Richards, so today we have Mick Jagger. Combine him with Bette Midler and you have yourself the top spot.
Alicia Keys is back after serving her 3 month suspension from the blog for comments which I found inane and idiotic, but I can't remember what she said. I just have in my notes that she is allowed back today, and looks pretty good. The time away from the blog was good for her.
Amanda Beard on the other hand just does not do it for me at all. I have said it before and I will say it again, she just is not that great looking and probably the worst choice Playboy has ever made.
I had to post this, if only for the fact that you never see Christian in any other pose than his hot mess pose.

Brandi Shearer - Los Angeles
Brendon Cole and his date who apparently thinks she is better than everyone. When they came up with the expression of raining into your nose, this is the woman they were referring to.
Well lets hope this works out for Ace Young better than the Kenickie who took the film role.
And some love to Canada. Your new Canadian Idol winner is Theo Tams who is on the right and playing the David Archuleta role is Mitch McDonald. Already taking advantage of the free swag. Nice.
Probably as good as Heather Graham has looked in awhile.

Yeah, yeah. Kate Hudson on the left who looks wretched, and then you have Gwyneth who must have just farted for the first time in a year considering how hard she is laughing, and the woman who had to smell it. I would have also accepted that the woman is freaked out because she told her husband she was going to her mother's house.
Just because it is unfair to be that good looking. And this is at the Armani runway, it is not a magazine spread with some airbrushing.
No smile from Eva Mendes. Not good. Kind of like the whole Kirsten Dunst with the hair messed up thing.
Yeah, I'm sure this engagement with Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan is going to be brief.
Josh Hartnett on the streets of London. Not having sex in the streets of London. Because, then of course there would be panic in the streets of London. Yeah, we'll see how many get that.

Why the hell not? Jack Hanna is more entertaining to me than a reality star, and makes for good television.
This week on a very special 90210. I would have also accepted Supersize 90210, we find out the baby's dad.
Hilary Swank finally looking really good.
Twice. And she has fun and takes photos.

Well now we know that Pete Wentz does have a secret crush on the Beastie Boys. Yeah, it was a stretch, but not as bad as those yellow pants are stretching.

They're back. They took the summer off, but now they have that whole telepathy thing going again.
Much better than yesterday Mena Suvari. Of course I didn't show the world the tattoo that covers your entire back.
LeBron James is a first timer I think.
What can I say? Jessica Simpson looks pretty and normal, and so she gets only kind words.

Tatum O' Neal. Fake smile. It could be botox I guess.

At least Tobey Maguire was nice about the fan taking a photo. Kanye would have kicked the crap out of him and thrown him in front of that bus.
Tim Finn - Los Angeles
This is Sir Fresh-A-Lot. Unfortunately Sir Mix-A-Lot and Sir May-I-Have-Another were unable to attend.
If you can't make the top, then be on the bottom. Oooh, that could be a t-shirt Rashida.

Your Turn Part Two

It was the 4th of July. I was in the sixth grade. I remember standing on the top of the hill watching fireworks and standing next to, literally, the girl next door. I waited and waited until I couldn't stand the wait anymore, and I did it. I kissed her right on the cheek. Two seconds later, I was called a shit. Not for the last time in my life, but pretty sure it was the first. That was my first kiss. What was yours?

Lainey Blind Item

You’d think that she, of all people, would be more precious with her body. Not only because it’s so beautiful but also because she worked so hard to actually keep it.

But behind the face and up the nose, there is a serious, serious problem with blow. It started because she needed to keep her weight down, it has continued because she’s a full blown addict, devoting half her time to so called philanthropy, and the other half to hardcore happy. So much so that she’s now losing jobs as it’s no secret she can barely get down a carpet without rushing to the loo and hitting up some more which is where they found her at an event this week. A goodwill party turned almost disastrous when someone walked in and saw her slumped over the toilet, half conscious with bile dripping down her chin, her hair wet sticking to her face, begging to be allowed to stay at the party.

They managed to remove her from the venue without anyone noticing but the very very wealthy man she came with was so disgusted he immediately severed their relationship and worse still, the influential host of the festivities is now refusing to take her call.

A discreet visit to rehab is the next logical step but they worry she’s not ready until rock bottom, which appears to be just around the corner.

Jodie Davis Come On Down

Jodie Davis of Houston has won the tickets to see Girl In A Coma. If you get the chance, please check them out, along with Tegan and Sara on selected dates. Thanks to everyone at Blackheart Records.


09/27/08 Houston, TX Fitzgeralds
09/30/08 Atlanta, GA The Tabernacle (w/Tegan and Sara)
10/02/08 Baltimore, MD Rams Head Live (w/Tegan and Sara)
10/03/08 Philadelphia, PA The Electric Factory (w/Tegan and Sara)
10/04/08 Worchester, MA The Palladium (w/Tegan and Sara)
10/05/08 New York, NY Terminal 5 (w/Tegan and Sara)
10/06/08 New York, NY Terminal 5 (w/Tegan and Sara)
10/09/08 Chicago, IL Riviera Theatre (w/Tegan and Sara)
10/11/08 Minneapolis, MN State Theatre (w/Tegan and Sara)
10/13/08 Denver, CO The Paramount (w/Tegan and Sara)
10/16/08 Los Angeles, CA Henry Ford Theatre (w/Tegan and Sara)
10/17/08 Los Angeles, CA Henry Ford Theatre (w/Tegan and Sara)
10/18/08 Los Angeles, CA Henry Ford Theatre (w/Tegan and Sara)
10/19/08 Los Angeles, CA Henry Ford Theatre (w/Tegan and Sara)
10/21/08 San Diego, CA The Pink Elephant
10/22/08 Long Beach, CA Alex's Bar
10/24/08 San Jose, CA The Blank Club
10/25/08 Reno, NV The Tonic Lounge
10/26/08 Salt Lake City Burt's Tiki Lounge

Your Turn Part One - The Finalists

Well the votes have been tallied from last week and so now it is your turn to select a winner from the three finalists. Their photos are in the order of finish.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which star likes to indulge in threesomes with women he has just met? The cheeky fella in question chats them up by bragging about his ample tackle...

Does Elizabeth Taylor Even Carry Money?

I was reading a story in Kneepads about Elizabeth Taylor going out to her favorite bar, which happens to be the gay bar Abbey in West Hollywood. It sounded like she had a great time and was boozing it up with a large martini. At this point, I think she should be allowed to drink whatever the hell she wants, rehab be damned.

But when I was reading the article, I was struck by the question of whether she ever has to pay for anything anymore. Although I'm sure The Abbey paid for everything last night, would you, as an owner of a restaurant ever have the nerve to charge her? And I wonder how far it extends. Look, if Denise Richards can get free stuff from all over town, you know that Elizabeth Taylor can as well. I'm guessing she can probably get free cars, food, and whatever else she wants.

At what point do you just realize that no one is ever going to hand you a bill for anything. I told everyone before about the time I accidentally was given Liza Minelli's credit card when she was using it. It had never been used before but it looked to be a few years old. It wasn't even signed on the back and the activation sticker had never been taken off. Clearly, she was not used to having to pull out the plastic. What is sad is that Liza and Liz deserve the star treatment, but honestly they are given basically the same privileges as a Lauren Conrad or a Spencer Pratt. It is kind of disturbing when you look at it that way. On one hand you have someone who is a worldwide legend and has been for over 50 years, and on the other hand you have some two bit punks who lucked out by being born to some rich parents in Laguna Beach and get treated the same way. Something needs to change.

Pink And Scientology Don't Mix

Does anyone really think Pink would last longer than an hour in Scientology? Reports in Star and all over the internet today say Pink is really into it. What she is into was probably a one time look through their bookstore or pulling up a chair on the sidewalk and taking a stress test.

This about Pink being hooked up to an E-Meter and having to spill her guts. Not going to happen. First of all I don't think she can actually sit still for longer than about 5 minutes, and there is no way in hell she would ever let some random stranger know every secret in her life.

The first time someone asked her question she didn't like she would start cussing at them and probably beat them. I also find it highly doubtful that she is stupid enough to buy into the whole Xenu story. Although, she did get Punk'd pretty good. But you could also see in her eyes that day that Carey was in for a beating after the cameras left. A serious beating.

Pink was allegedly introduced to Scientology by Juliette Lewis, who I have no problems believing happily believes in Xenu and is more than willing to spill her secrets to anyone because she needs the attention. I think it must be just as obvious that nothing freaky happened between Juliette and Brad Pitt, or he just didn't give a crap when they approached him. See, that is the thing that I never hear anyone talk about. Person A goes into the church and just spills their guts about persons B-Z. What is to stop the church from making some friendly calls to B-Z and kind of making it clear that unless they stop by and say hello at the church, that their boss or wife or lover or whatever will find out what person A said about them. Even if they did not approach B-Z, think about the information that is compiled about B-Z that the church now has. We don't know they do nothing with it. They could have thousands upon thousands of documents and stories about people who would never dream of entering Scientology.

Does Rob Lowe Even Care About His Kids?

I've decided Rob Lowe is full of crap. That is tough for me because generally I find that any client of Gloria Allred is full of crap, so I had to choose between two piles of it, and I think Rob's is worse.

Fox News obtained some of the documents filed by Rob's attorney and the allegations are pretty powerful. According to them, his nanny used the N word on a frequent basis and would often work with the kids while popping Xanax and drinking booze. OK, lets stop right there. A show of hands of who would let anyone work with their kids who did any of the three previous things while on duty. Yeah, that's what I thought. Rob and his wife didn't do a damn thing. They just let it go on and did not take any action against the nanny. So, either Rob is full of crap and this didn't happen, or he is quite possibly the worst parent ever. To knowingly let your kid be taken care of by someone who pops Xanax and drinks booze while watching your kids is close to abuse. Another theory is that he didn't mind them doing it because he was doing other things with them or wanted to. Can you think of any explanation that is plausible as to why you would let your kids be exposed to that?

He also says in the documents that she was always comparing household objects to the size of her boyfriend's peen and that she loved terrifying the kids about what a terrible neighborhood they lived in and what they could expect if they met anyone from a gang. Again. If this person is in your house, are they even going to make it through the day? No, so this is all just beyond crazy at this point.

Oh, and get this. Rob says that since the second nanny sued him he has been passed over for three commercials which could have made him a million dollars. Yes, well, what he probably didn't say is that they wanted someone younger, or blonde, or who doesn't come across as an ass every time he is on screen. If you want to take a look at the entire set of documents, click here.

How Convenient

This has got to be the worst all time excuse in the history of excuses. According to US Weekly, Jennifer Lopez injured her foot and so cannot judge the finale of Project Runway. Umm, she would be sitting in a chair. Is the foot so bad that she is unable to sit down? Is she going to have to be fully horizontal for the next six months? Does the foot radiate extreme pain when it hears a German accent or Michael Kors and his Dr. Phil fashion-isms?

You know what this is about don't you? It has nothing to do with Project Runway. Nope. The thing is the injury has to be serious enough so that she doesn't have to do the triathlon. See, Jennifer already made the rounds of all the talk shows and got all the magazine covers she was going to get out of this little charade without actually doing it. If she did it, she would probably get another round of publicity. She probably thought, "screw it. People are going to think I did it because I talked about it for a month." She's right you know. People are going to remember her talking about it and assumed she did.

She might not even make an announcement expressing her regret that she is unable to participate because then that would tarnish the memory. Oh, and I also think this foot injury will prevent her from ever competing in any future triathlons. It will be only with great difficulty and personal pain and rehabilitation that she will be able to continue shopping on any kind of regular basis, or appearing in films. Unfortunately, due to the injury she will no longer be able to take care of the kids personally and will hand them over to a team of nannies who will remind her when a birthday is coming up so she can make an appearance at before limping back to her wing of the house. That is of course if the children are staying in the house. By then, they may be secluded with Connor and Isabella who will be writing a Broadway Musical of Battlefield Earth.

The photo above was taken on September 10th, so obviously it has happened since then. I would like to think that she would not use a 9/11 reference when discussing her injury, but with her penchant for publicity, you just never know.

Tina Fey As Sarah Palin

Since the acting skills of Michael Phelps will probably be limited to how many times the writers of SNL can get his shirt off, Lorne Michaels obviously feels something else is needed to get people to watch the season premiere this weekend. So, in a conference call discussing the premiere, a reporter asked a question. In my opinion, the question was a plant, designed to get people to discuss SNL this week, and to get you to watch even if you didn't want to.

The question was whether Tina Fey would be on this week as Sarah Palin. Lorne Michaels was hemming and hawing. Does anyone actually hem and haw anymore. Did the expression start with some guy being asked a question and going "hem..haw?" Anyway, Lorne said there was a Sarah Palin sketch in the read through. That is a no brainer. He made it sound like they were not even sure if they were going to do a Sarah Palin sketch. Please. Oh, speaking of Sarah Palin, the National Enquirer has half of its LA bureau up in Alaska looking for dirt on Sarah, and have found absolutely nothing so far in the week they have been digging.

Anyway, Lorne said that there had been discussions about Tina Fey coming on and playing Sarah Palin. He makes it sound like he had his people go through Tina's people and that it may or may not happen. That is a bunch of crap. If Lorne wanted Tina on the show he would call her personally and ask her personally and she would say yes or no. In fact she may have called him.

My guess is that the opening skit is going to be Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, and Michael Phelps will be the boyfriend who got the daughter pregnant. You then might see Tina doing the news, or you might just see her at the end when everyone waves. But, she will be there, and she will be the first skit. The first skit will also have Phelps without his shirt on, so that everyone is satisfied and you can all go to bed right after.

Mistik - Movie Review - Ghost Town

Ghost Town resurrects the basic premise of a number of older films where the deceased communicate with the living, to comic and sometimes poignant effect. Unfortunately, the oldies are the goodies.

Starring Ricky Gervais as misanthropic dentist Bertram Pincus, and Greg Kinnear as philandering (and now dead) husband and ghost Frank Herlihy, the set up is simple. After “dying” for seven minutes during a colonoscopy, Pincus is accosted by ghosts who all want him to help them complete unfinished business. Herlihy is the most persistent, vowing to get the
others off Pincus’s back if he will keep his widow Gwen (Tea Leoni) from marrying someone Herlihy feels is unsuitable. Pincus, no lover of mankind with or without a pulse, is sufficiently at wits end to finally agree to Herlihy’s proposal.

There are many scenes showing just what a putz Pincus is. (He hates people so much he was attracted to dentistry precisely because you can keep people from talking.) He has equal opportunity dislike for the others in his dental practice, the people in his apartment building (and of course, Gwen is a neighbour), and New Yorkers in general. Although this is necessary to show
his later transformation, they do such a good job of making him unlikeable that, well, it’s nearly impossible to like him. Which is problematic for a lead character, and one who is supposed to be a romantic lead, no less.

Gwen, an Egyptologist, finds herself slowly won over by Pincus’s dubious charms, but then of course, as they always do in films like this, complications ensue.

I really wanted to like this movie. There were some great scenes between the three leads where I suspect that Gervais was improvising and they were happily following along. Without giving anything away, the scene at the museum where Gwen shows Pincus a certain preserved body part of a mummy she’s studying, and the speech about self-righteous teeth both come to mind.
At the end of the day, though Pincus is a slightly more bitter and self-aware version of his David Brent character in the UK “The Office” (a show I love). Despite his late-arriving good intentions it’s difficult to root for him and impossible to truly believe in his transformation. What
annoyed me more was that the tears that got jerked out of me had nothing to do with character development and story and everything to do with sappy set pieces showing the consequences of Pincus finally listening to and acting on the needs of the ghosts who have been pestering him.

The actors were great – Kristin Wiig in particular does a lot with a small part as a fake tan obsessed surgeon – but to paraphrase, the spirits may have been willing but the flesh was weak.

On the “what it’s worth” scale ... I’d say about $6 bucks. There are some decent laughs, and it would be an OK night out. Personally, I’d wait for the DVD. Maybe Pincus was less of a schmuck in the deleted scenes. Ghost Town will be released September 19.

Ted C Blind Item

We all have our pet peeves, not to mention issues, right? Matt Damon's are Alaskan governors and Alaskan governors, I believe. Other stars go more towards education (Oprah) or women's rights (La Streisand), etc.

But Brucey Butter-Zinger is ferociously serious about his personal peeves, as they mainly involve thinking in a particular way many people find amusing. Think Woody and his hemp-powered philosophies, only far worse—say some. But ol' Brucey, dedicated zealot he be, does not care; at least he puts up a fine job of making folks think he doesn't give a whit what they think of his nutty and often heatedly exchanged ideas.

So, it was with perfectly reasonable expectations that Mr. B-Z had his "people" approach several businesses across the street from where BBZ was planning a fancy party to benefit his less-than-popular off-camera thoughts and endeavors. He asked that the commercial endeavors all close down, just for one night (for which they would be reimbursed), so as to make the glittery do more private, not to mention easier to maneuver, vehicle-wise.

Only prob being, all the businesses said no friggin' way, thankyouverymuch, each and every single one of them. Brucey was not pleased, though you (and the store owners) would never know it. Soiree went on just fine, without a hitch, too. But those businesses that said no to Brucey? Uh, they sure had probs, big-time, when the very next ayem, all their plumbing, which had never before been problematic, backed up, causing sewage disasters out the wazoo. Interesting timing? The owners all think not and are distinctly smelling a revengeful sewer rat. Me, too.

And It Ain't: Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith, Kanye West

Blind Item - Fashion Week

#1 One of the more noticeable absences from Fashion Week is this former B list pop singer and now sometimes actress who used to be a mainstay at fashion shows around the world. Seems she has been missing, not because of money issues, but because she has been spending time in rehab. Yes, someone you never thought would be in rehab.

Never Forget

Random Photos Part One

Robert DeNiro & Al Pacino together? Top spot. They really do look different now though.

This is from 1977.
And here is Al getting a little handsy with Carla Gugino. Does she like it, or only for the cameras?

So, do you think Beth Ostrosky goes home at the end of the night and says to Howard Stern, "I'm the luckiest woman in the world. I'm so proud of you for helping that woman sell her virginity. Will you help our daughter do it to?"
So basically Angela Featherstone took a torn bra, some thread, and a skirt and is calling it a dress, and on the way out of the hotel took the suit coat of some poor businessman who left it on a chair in the lobby.
Dave and Julia. See, now people would have believed it if she had married him, but for some reason can never believe the Lyle Lovett thing. Lyle is cool.
Yes, the color of the shirts is different, but everything else is exactly the same. At what point do you stop trying to be your daughter?

Thank God, Chace Crawford doesn't dress like his mom. Well, at least in this photo.
It was cloudy and cool this morning in LA and I thought the world was going to end. When I see Keira Knightley smiling, I look for other signs of The Apocalypse like Clay Aiken sleeping with a woman, or having a baby.
Did Coco actually make them bigger? Is she looking for a sponsorship from a basketball company or something? You laugh, but don't think it hasn't crossed Ice-T's mind.
Yes, he's an ass, but I really like his outfit.
I hate Jeff Goldblum getting old. I know I said something similar last week, but it sucks.

This was after Madonna left the pub. Tell me when you have seen Guy look like that when Madonna is anywhere near.
I'm rusty with my Japanese, but I believe it says, "I need a drink."
Dave Matthews - New York


Probably my favorite photo of the day.

"Yep, I can definitely smell the onions."
Josh Pyke - Sydney
Probably the couple that I love the most right now. Julianna Marguiles and Keith Lieberthal always look so damn happy.
Janet Jackson - Vancouver
What would you do if you were Sunrise Coigney?

The Beatles called, they want their jacket back.
Yes, we got Mena. You love attention.
The one and only Malan Breton with his very own show during Fashion Week in Bryant Park.
Another sign of The Apocalypse. Keanu Reeves showered and shaved. He may very well be sober too.

What I Hate

I hate when stars say they wish or they are going to do something. Latest example is Tila Tequila who says that she wishes she could be friends with Amy Winehouse and also join her, whatever the hell that means. Is that code speak for do her? Join her in a drunken, drug fueled downward spiral? Is that what you want? Well whatever you want to do with her, do it. Don't go running off the mouth to some camera or microphone saying that you want to be Amy's friend and hope that somehow she lifts her head long enough from the crack pipe to hear you.

If you want to be friends with her and join her and have that ambition in life, then get on a plane with your slutty girlfriend go to Amy 's house and knock on her f**king door. It isn't like she isn't home because she always is. It isn't like she never answers the door, because she does. And hey, you are Tila Tequila right? You are so famous that Amy probably has your poster on her wall and your MySpace photos as her screen saver. So go there Tila and when Amy opens the door holding her pipe, what are you going to say? "Hi, I want to be your friend. Can I join you?" See how ridiculous that sounds. So shut up.

Now, Tila is not the only one, just the one who got me this morning. "I want to go help kids in Africa, or the Sudan." Then go do it. Don't just say shit, do shit. You have the money, you have the time, go do it. Don't day you want to do this and want to do that to cameras like you are about to go do it, because you know you aren't and next month you will have some f**ked up excuse why you didn't.

Jeezy Beats NKOTBeezy

Well the good news for the old men over at NKOTB is they had their biggest album since 1990. For those of you counting, that is almost 20 years. Not since Step By Step have people wanted to buy a NKOTB album so darn much. The bad news is that Young Jeezy is loved even more by the masses and the people too embarrassed to have a NKOTB CD in their car.

Now don;t go kicking yourself if you are a soccer mom who was going to buy the album and now blame yourself for NKOTB being denied. It really wouldn't have made much difference. Basically they got their ass kicked by Young Jeezy, but no one will remember that and will only remember the fact they finished second.

Young Jeezy sold 260,000 copies of his album while NKOTB sold 95,000.

Hey, there is always next week, or in another 20 years when they start to burn through this money. I guess buy then it will be Old Jeezy and Old Kids On the Block fighting it out.

Well It Won't Be About Her Towels

Mariah Carey is a little scared right now. No, Nick Cannon didn't escape from his leash so don't worry about that. What she is actually worried about is her former record producer Damion Young who worked with Mariah for four years is writing a tell-all-book. My first response is that if you were Mariah's record producer for four years and need to make money from a tell-all book you must have a serious drug, gambling, or ex-wife problem. There is no way he should need the money, but I'm glad he does.

I don't think it's going to be a book about her fastidious toilet habits or towel fetishes. In the proposal the NY Post obtained, the book will discuss their four year personal relationship and what they worked diligently to disguise from the world's press. Well you know it isn't something like a dick, so to me that leaves drugs, pregnancies, a broken fingernail. I really don't know.

Whatever it is though, Mariah is pretty pissed and plenty worried and his turned her lawyers loose. They needed something to do after putting Nick in his cage and telling him where to sign. Mariah's people are saying that Damion has signed confidentiality agreements and should honor them. I'm not so sure that is going to work in this case, and in any event, no matter what happens to the book, the stories will make their way out. Ooooh, I know. Mariah Carey is Xenu. That would be a good one.

Jerry Springer Producer Does A Jerry Springer

You would think it must be incredibly difficult to be fired from The Jerry Springer Show. I mean what could you do that hasn't already been done in front of everyone and national television and honestly, it has all been done a second time. Naked. Well, the Executive Producer of the show was fired yesterday because he couldn't control his anger. Hear that Baldwin?

Richard Dominick who is also the Executive Producer of Steve The Bodyguard's show had been warned previously by NBC/Universal that he was a little to violent and needed to calm down his angry ways. Instead of doing so, he decided to start taking out his anger issues on the guests. Dominick was fired after he engaged in a "physical confrontation" (read fight) with a guest and put the guest in a choke hold.

See, now if he had done that as guest he would have been invited back and maybe even made the best of Springer which is a wonderful alternative to infomercials at 3am. But, because he actually worked on the show, they canned him. I'm sure all he was doing was trying to get the guest ticked off so he would hit the prostitute who is his mother and his girlfriend and is carrying his brother's baby.

I'll Believe It When I See It

The National Enquirer is reporting that Tra Reid is engaged to the dude in the photo above. Well, actually he isn't really a dude. I mean he is, a dude as in a guy, but he is not a dude, as in Dude Where's My Car, and I don't have job kind of dude. His name is Julien Jarmoune and he in charge of J & Company. Apparently the two met right away and fell madly in love. The fact that Tara's love was probably more checkbook based rather than any kind of real love probably contributed to their passion.

Julien is being credited for turning Tara from a party girl to a business woman. Well, I think if someone is throwing money at you, then chances are, you might clean up your act a little. And, I may trash Tara here a lot. But, I will say this. She is a really smart business person and has done very well for herself in her investments. Not so much the boob job investment. No, that one didn't work out so well, but other things have which besides finding rich guys to pay for everything is one of the reasons she doesn't work.

Now, the pair is supposed to marry next summer. Not going to happen. No way that Tara can be that good for that long, and Julien will get tired of it all long before then.

American Actors Aren't The Only Idiots

Good news Gwyneth Paltrow you are officially off the hook for being the most insulting to your own country. You are now in a tie with Javier Bardem. Actually now that I think of it, Gwyneth is probably still winning, but more on that in a moment.

Javier is having a little problem in his home country of Spain. It seems that in the NY Time he called them stupid. Calling your fellow citizens stupid is not one of the best ways to win friends and influence people.

"The Spanish are tough. They criticize my work and say I sold out. You want to say: 'Stop it - you're a bunch of stupid people.'"

Well, you might want to say it, but actually saying it in the NY Times and thinking it are completely two different things. Considering he and Penelope Cruz are doing the whole dating thing and whatever that involves, she is probably not too thrilled to be associated with his words either.

Now, when Gwyneth called Americans stupid or ignorant or lazy, whatever it was, she immediately said she was misquoted, or that she really did love all people and that she didn't understand the language she was being asked the questions in (English). So, Gwyneth expected us to fall for it, and so I think that still makes her the winner for idiocy. Javier took an entirely different tact. He basically said, "yes, I said it. I screwed up. I love my country and people." That is taking it like a man. Just admit it and be done. Don't be a waffler. Or a pancake. French toast is good though.

Barf Bags At Your Table For Your Convenience

The NY Post says Victoria Beckham is opening a restaurant with Gordon Ramsay here in LA. Since Gordon just opened a restaurant here that isn't doing all that great, it makes a bunch of sense to open another one with someone who doesn't even eat food. I'm not sure how Victoria Beckham stays alive. Oh, she goes to lots of restaurants with David. Only with David and as much as I like him, have you ever noticed he wears the exact same clothes every time he goes out and always only tucks half his shirt in? You would think that maybe he could do something a little different. It has got to the point that if I see a photo of him dressed like that, I know he and Victoria went to dinner.

Now, when I say went to dinner, what I mean is that Victoria goes into the eating establishment in the evening, when most of us would be eating a meal called dinner. When leaving said restaurant she usually appears to be drunk or tipsy. Well more drunk than tipsy usually. Now, whether that is from a sip of wine that goes straight to her head because she never eats, or if she is nauseous from the sight of so many people eating around her I will never know. But, what I do know is that a woman who never eats should not be opening a restaurant. She and Gordon are going to open a traditional British restaurant serving fish & chips and bangers and mash. I'm sure at some point in the past few years, Victoria might have smelled one of those things, but you know she has never eaten any of them. So, why on earth would I want to buy food from her that she herself would never eat.

Kanye Is Camera Shy

Maybe it was jet lag, or maybe it was Kanye just wanting some extra attention, but Kanye West, along with his assistant were arrested this morning for felony vandalism. According to TMZ, Kanye was ticked off that a pap wanted his picture, and so went up to the photographer, took the camera and smashed it to the ground. Not wanting to be outdone, the assistant who is a really eager beaver who loves to get his nose polished by Kanye's ass went over to the TMZ video guy, took his camera and threw it to the ground. Kanye, then realized the video guy had been videotaping because that is what they do. Before Kanye could get the tape however, the cops came and hauled Kanye and his assistant away. TMZ says they will be posting the tape shortly.

Now, since this was in an airport, you or I would be charged with some kind of terror crime. Because it was Kanye though, the officers are probably in the airport jail with him right now getting autographs. Felony vandalism sounds really serious. By the time it is done with, the charges will be dropped down to some kind of disturbing the peace thing with a $200 fine. Oh, and Kanye will be out about $50,000-$100,000 to pay the photographers. But hey, it will give him lots to rant about on his blog for the next few days.

I'm sure he will go on and on about he is beaten down and not given any respect and how he was tired and he asked to be left alone and they wouldn't leave him alone and he was thinking about his mother and blah, blah, blah. What it boils down to is that he is an immature, selfish, narcissistic ass who loves himself far more than any other person should be in love with themselves.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which British celeb fled a high-society party after spotting policemen and fearing they were after her coke stash?

Today's Blind Items - The Soaps & Fashion Week

It is that time of the month people. Time for a soap blind item, but also for those of you not fan of the soap blind items, I have one from Fashion Week, which of course involves, sex, drugs and a dressing room. Or lack thereof.

First the soap opera item. Usual rules apply.

#1 - ABC soap. Youngish, but a real soap veteran. Married, but not for forever. But, since he has been married he has been with at least 5 women who are either regulars on the show or extras. Oh, and one of the makeup women as well. Oh, and the 2 women from his old show.

#2 - This always causing trouble A list singer was all over fashion week. He was also all over a model at one of the shows. Not wanting to waste more time with her than necessary, he tempted her with a little white powder, went behind a curtain in the backstage area, and allowed her to get her fill. Then he had her do something else for him if you know what I mean. When she was done, he gave her the rest of the little baggie.

Random Photos Part One

I bet you never thought Steve Schirripa would ever get the top spot in the photos. Well, neither did I, but when you are on set with The Muppets, the rules change. Brand new Muppets. It is called A Muppet's Christmas.

Why does it always seem like Benico del Toro has been awake for 10 days straight and smoked 100 cigarettes each of those days.
For a second I thought I had saved a Craigslist posting, but it turns out it is from the Betsey Johnson fashion show.
Carol Alt on the runway. She didn't actually get to walk the runway though. The photographers just wanted to remind her what she used to do, and how famous she was, and to try and make her cry before returning to her seat.

Kind of sucks when it is your huge day. You are the number one singer in Asia, and you are coming to the US, and you have a broken arm in a cast for the photos. I think she should have manned up, cut the cast off for the photos and then got it redone.
Or you can get this guy to try and hide it.
Goodness, Ben Kingsley is not letting this one get away.
Bruno Tonioli is a judge on Strictly Come Dancing in the UK and Dancing With The Stars here. I think he is overestimating his length, but hey, whatever makes him feel better.
Just because it must be all of about two weeks since Emmanuelle Chriqui has been in the photos.

Do you want to know when you have abused self tanners?
When you are ten times darker than the lady from Something About Mary.
What do you think the boys in Iron Maiden have to say about Demi Lovato wearing their shirt? Do you think she knows who they are?
Yeah, yeah Claire Danes and Julianna Marguiles. They look great, blah, blah. See the woman behind them. I will bet you anything she reads this blog, because she is just enjoying the fact that she is ruining this shot. If she's not a reader, someone must know her. Tell her to read, because she already made the photos.
I am going to make the over/under on the time needed to get into these pants ten minutes. Do you think it is over or under that amount of time. For those of you who have a significant other who gambles on football, you now can speak knowledgeably to them about a favorite bet. "What is the over/under of the game honey?" I am full service here people.

Gerard Butler getting his groove on.
And doing his Bill Clinton impression.
Edward Norton doing his I am better than everyone impression.
Ethan Hawke cleans up pretty nicely doesn't he?
So does Jamie Lee Curtis. I like her. I just think she has maybe been too vocal to the point where people don't listen to her anymore.

Jennifer Ellison won the Rear Of The Year award in the UK. Was she the only one who entered?
Jason Dundas has achieved a feat no one thought possible. The first underwater Zoolander pose.
"Yessss. Mommy is a great actress right? Yessss she is. Mommy doesn't need to do porn to make a living right?"
Well, not really porn per se.
And now you can see why everyone dislikes working with Michelle Trachtenberg.

And why everyone loves working with Mark Ruffalo.
No more Anna Wintour photos. I am voting for Linda Wells from Allure.
Ahhh. What the hell. Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth. Let The Hills discussion begin.
Or you could just talk about Jason Statham and how is in Spain and how jax is going to be there soon. Hmmmm. Interesting.
Just because I thought I was going to need some extra people. You know. Rose McGowan was filler. Like the stuff in chicken McNuggets.

Look, I know all of you, and I mean all of you, love Rachel McAdams, but you seriously cannot like the way her hair looks.
But no matter what you can all love Phillip Seymour Hoffman's hair. Oh, and Catherine Keener.
Question #1 - What does Jessica Simpson call this? A watermelon
#2 - And this? Wine
Hey, if you are Eva Longoria's father in law, you should get some attention and praise for just being able to function normally.

Tommy Hilfiger looking motorcycle tough.
I just can't figure out if he wants to be a Jet or a Shark.
Stacey Dash. I miss seeing her.
Yes, Rachel Weisz was in here yesterday, but if she wears this everyday, she will continue to be in here. I gave you two of Gerard Butler so this is a fair trade.

Alec Baldwin Preaches Calm

When I think of Alec Baldwin, I think of a quiet, unassuming actor, who is a loving parent, and sweet and sincere to his ex-wife. Oh, wait I guess that is maybe how he sees himself, but I don't think anyone who has ever even heard his name would agree with anything in that last sentence except for maybe his publicist. Last week Alec took on NBC and trashed every show on the network, including his own, and according to the NY Post, this weekend, Alec was out for some blood.

While leaving the US Open on Sunday night, Alec apparently was not willing to wait for a limo to complete its turn into the parking lot. Instead of doing what a normal person would o, and waiting for a few moments for the limo to get into the parking lot, Alec decided to just go ahead and scream at the limo driver, then hit the limo and force his way out of the parking lot. I don't know if Alec had a case of the runs, or was just embarrassed because people called him Billy and Daniel all night, but when you think real life is a film, you have some serious anger management issues.

If everyone did what Alec did, the mall parking lot at Christmas time would resemble a demolition derby as people rammed other cars out of the way to capture an elusive parking space. Of course, Alec's publicist said something along the lines of "while Alec was listening to "Kumbiyah" on his stereo and adoring the 8X10 photo of his daughter he has posted on his dashboard, he was cut off. Alec thinking there had been a collision between the two cars, rushed around to his trunk and got his first aid kit. He then rushed to the aid of the limo driver, only to find that the two cars had not actually collided. After posing for photos with the limo driver and making a check for $10M out to his favorite charity, Alec let a group of nuns cross in front of him before proceeding to Sunday Mass."

I Want Initials

One of the issues that invariably arises when I have friends who read the blog is they want initials. If they are mentioned in the blog they want initials. Well for the most part it just would not be practical to give everyone initials because I can't remember them all and I have to go back and look and then everyone who reads the blog can't keep track. So, it has been awhile since I actually gave out initials. But, last night, I caved. I know, I know, but when my best friend came over she brought Krispy Kremes. Two dozen of them. I'm a sucker for them. She said she was happy and everything to be mentioned in the blog and appreciated The Lovely Bones rant, but she wanted initials. Basically anyone who voluntarily comes to my house, can make my mom actually smile and dodge an ass grab from my dad deserves something. Not that my dad does it to everyone. I mean she may be my best friend, but I am still going to take a look if you know what I mean.

Anyway she came over because she thought she was going to get to watch 90210 upstairs where you can breathe. It's much better now that mom got one of those fans to blow her cigarette smoke out of the way. But, what she got instead was a fat man crying. Last night, when I got home from work, I tripped over something and fell really hard onto my bed, and it broke. Not usually a big deal right? Well I have a water bed and it is old and has been patched up a lot, but apparently the patches finally gave weigh as well as a great deal of water.

I love that bed. I have had it as long as I can remember. Sure, it was impossible to get out of it each morning and as I rediscovered when I moved back home, the sounds of the water make me get up much more frequently to pee than is really fun, but I had missed it while I had been gone so it was worth it. I remember when I got it, I thought it was the greatest thing ever. It was also the time I moved from a bedroom upstairs to the basement because of the chance of a leak. A teenager living in the basement with a water bed. I was cool. Now that is has been many decades and I am back in the same place, it doesn't seem as cool anymore.

While I was mopping up the mess, FW (her new initials) came over and listened as I told stories about the water bed and all the stories about it and other things that have happened in my past. I know all of you find it funny or extremely sad that I am back in a basement at home at my age, but even though I make fun of it, it is not exactly the place I want to be. So, FW got to listen to me ramble and offered some great advice, which is why of course she is my best friend. That and lots of other reasons. I think the water bed breaking was a good thing, and instead of just permanently moving to the futon, or buying a new bed, I think that I need to try and get out of the basement and move on again with my life. When you are back living at home it is kind of like your life just doesn't move forward because although you have a real job, you are still living under the roof of your parents, and so you kind of seem to be in some really weird parallel dimension.

So, for helping me come to that understanding and for not screaming at the mouse that scampered across the floor, FW gets initials. Now, I just need to find a new place to live and a company that still makes water beds.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which popular soap actor had a secret six-month fling with a big-name male pop pin-up?

The pair were scared of upsetting their army of female fans...

Naomi Campbell Gets Off Easy

I think we all know that community service means one thing in the US for "everyday people" and another for celebrities, but it also looks like it extends to the UK as well.

Naomi Campbell reported for her first day of community service for the airplane incident which would have got the rest of us thrown into jail. Anyway, she showed up in a limo ten minutes late, and spent her time helping with paperwork and signing autographs and taking photos. The rest of the people there for community service were assigned cleaning tasks, janitorial work, and other typical, grueling chores.

According to the Mirror, Naomi seemed ticked that she was being asked to do any kind of work. Apparently paper dries her skin out and she thought she was going to be able to sit around and just tell people why she was sorry and then show everyone how to apply makeup and seduce a guy who will spend $5M on you.

Why is it that people are afraid to treat a celebrity like a regular person? What the hell is Naomi Campbell going to do if you tell her she has to scrub the toilets? Is she going to say no? Fine. Let her say no and then send her ass to jail where she belongs. Are you afraid she is going to throw something at you? Come on. Stand up. Don't be a kiss ass. Make her do the same thing you make all of the other people do. Don't let her sit in a comfy office doing some filing just so maybe she will remember how nice you were to her and she will send you a Christmas Car or invite you to a party. She doesn't even know your name. She doesn't care about you longer than you can help her. Get it through your head. The rich Russian dude? If the government takes his money, Naomi is going to stop taking his calls.

I'm not asking you to have her do worse things than the average person, although for a day or two it wouldn't be bad. Just treat her like every other person. If you keep getting on your knees for her, then what is the lesson she learned? That she will have to spend 200 hours being fawned over by people like you. Make her scrub toilets for 200 hours and maybe she won't yell at cops on a plane anymore.

Subtle Ogling Is OK

Apparently James Franco is causing a few adjustment issues for the other students at Columbia University where he is currently enrolled in a Masters Writing class. While most students could easily avail themselves of the school cafe to study or to perhaps write something that would later earn him an Academy Award, James Franco apparently cannot. Recently as he was studying, he was swarmed by a group of freshmen girls who were classified by the Columbia newspaper as ridiculous and squealing. Well, they no doubt enjoyed Pineapple Express, and were hoping he might be able to assist them in procuring some party supplies for the weekend. Oh, ok, they probably wanted to jump his bones. I was trying not to be crass because Columbia is an Ivy League school, and they probably don't even ask for pot. They probably say cannabis and act like they are cool. Well, stoned out of their minds, everyone is the same and Duncan Hines Brownies are good enough for all.

While I am sure the 30 year old Franco enjoyed being hit on by a mob of 18 year olds, the school newspaper had this bit of advice for all future 18 year old girls who wish to molest James.

"Do a bit of subtle ogling, but don't stand around the entrance like a pack of starving vultures."

How does subtle ogling work? I have never really been good at being subtle. Little tough when you grunt and sweat with every step. I'm afarid that I'm not very good at taking a discreet look and then averting my gaze. I am more of a, "did you see that?" while pointing and talking really loudly.

Lance Bass Tries To Pee Without Justin - Fails

I don't understand the guys in N Sync. Sure Justin Timberlake was part of the group, but unless I'm mistaken didn't the rest of the guys sing as well? Everytime one of these guys is interviewed about a reunion they always say basically the same damn thing. "We would love to get together. Just need to catch up with Justin."

Well yesterday Lance Bass added a new twist to this. He said they were all "itching" to do some music, but that Justin was going to be tough to pin down. Excuse me, Excuse me. Can you make some music without him. Are you afraid to do anything without Justin's permission. If you are so wanting to do some music together, then go do some without the wuss. Go ahead. What is he going to do? Yeah, I know, Jessica could be the crap out of all of you, but if you make Fatone last, he might be able to take her.

Last I checked there were four members of the group other than Justin. So, go play some music, and quit whining. It's not like you are the rest of the Jackson 5 who realized they sucked without Michael. You haven't failed yet. So, try and see what happens. Sure, we will all laugh at you at first, but if it's good then it's good, and then maybe Justin can do a little ass kissing.

Speaking of which. Next time all of you go to a party and Justin is there, could you please, please, take some kind of towels or wipes because the amount of slobber you leave on Justin while you hang on to him and cry like 10 year olds at a Jonas Brothers concert is embarrassing to you and to the rest of the world. Yes, we realize you are all devoted to him like some kind of dog who wants dog food from a can instead of dry, but have some self respect people.

"Hey. I'm Guilty. Use My Name."

I have now read about ten different articles by the wire services and newspapers about the guilty plea of Raffaello Follieri. Each article starts off with Anne Hathaway's former boyfriend or some variation like that. Most of the articles use her photo as well.

I think it is a pretty interesting case even without her involvement, and honestly, I think we all are a little sick of Anne. She is starting to really grate on our nerves. If you want to read my comments on her interview with W, it isn't going to happen. I think she's fake and a phony and I think she turned her boyfriend in. Sure he was guilty. He admitted it and we all knew it, but she must have known it for years, but she never did anything. Are we supposed to believe she woke up one day and said, "how can you afford all this? How come you are not doing what you promised to your investors?" She then went and burst into fake tears, rushed out of the $37,000 a month apartment she was paying for and called the FBI. As the FBI was dragging him away she probably whispered goodbye from a doorway across the street and then went and did press for Get Smart and laughed and laughed knowing she had done good. Now she could go get drunk with Star Jones or get it on with a woman or whatever she wanted to do.

Well, Raffaello deserves some attention for this crime without having to drag her name through the article to make it more interesting. Raffaello plead guilty to fraud today and will serve up to four years in the federal prison system, courtesy of the US taxpayer. He will also have to make restitution to those he defrauded, but most of them have already been paid back. Because he is going to a minimum security federal prison, it is unlikely that he will be forced to don a wig for his cellmate and call himself Princess Mia.

Kirsten Dunst Explains Why She Seems Easy

Kirsten Dunst has taken one too many drugs or drinks, or slaps to the head. Either that or she is one wily fox. I would bet against wily though. Kirsten doesn't seem all that book smart if you get my drift. Oh sure, she will read a book if the cameras are near, but I think most of the time she just stares into space no doubt wondering why water beds are not popular anymore.

In the new Harpers Bazaar, Kirsten Dunst was asked about her relationship with Justin Long. Her response. "I don't know him from Adam." Well, I don't recall anyone asking her about Adam, but perhaps she names her lovers characters from the Bible. The first time she sleeps with them she calls them Adam, and just moves through the Bible until done. Then she dumps them and starts all over again. No matter if she is having sex with Adam or Moses, or Lot it really is still Justin Long.

"I met him once and he and his friend were kind enough to walk me home. I've never seen him since."

Ummm. Kirsten. The two of you have been photographed like on ten different days in the past two months. Now, I'm sure it could have been some game on Justin's part. You know? Follow Kirsten around and right when a pap takes a picture jump next to her so it looks like you are dating. Or, when she is talking to a friend, Justin rushes over, knocks the friend out of the way, takes the picture, stands the friend back up and continues on his way. I mean I guess that is plausible right?

Apparently Kirsten's dream is to be Noah's wife because she wants to get married, have lots of kids and animals and build boats. Whoops. Read that wrong. She just wants the husband, the kids, the animals, but to live on a lake. Hey, lakes need boats. It was an honest mistake.

NY Post Blind Items

WHICH elderly co-owner of a Hamptons hot spot has the locals buzzing because he's having an affair with the very tall, thin, blond wife of a famous songwriter? The melodious husband knows about it and isn't happy .

WHICH music mogul treats his superstar wife like she's a servant? But she doesn't mind. "She's Southern and thinks men should be the boss," laughs one friend .

WHICH veteran real estate broker flabbergasted old friends by claiming in an interview he graduated from a prestigious European prep school? "I've known him for 30 years," says one pal. "He's from The Bronx."

Today's Blind Items

Apparently working out is not the only way this former A lister has for losing weight. During a Fashion Week event in the past two days, our actress, on her own for the first time in awhile decided to prove that she can snort more coke than even Elton John. Whatever was placed in front of her, she hoovered right up. She is not much for sharing though. When someone tried to bend over for a little bit, she told them to find their own.

Random Photos Part One - Extra Snarky - Seriously

Have to start with this photo because it is the epitome of Random Photos. Where else are you going to see Star Jones and Anne Hathaway getting drunk? --I would have also accepted "That cup looks to small for beer, but I can't imagine Star carrying around her urine without a lid." -- I would have also accepted "Anne Hathaway with Tracey Morgan in a wig."
Apparently, excessive cocaine use leads to painful dry humping of models. For someone who really doesn't do jack squat, Alice Dellal seems to be in the photos often. Just remember that everytime she has been in the photos she has either been drunk, passed out on the ground drunk, or doing cocaine off the floor of an apartment. Look really closely at the DVD.
Well at least someone thinks Ashton Kutcher is funny.
"And therefore 2+2 = 4."
Its Culkins.

Its Culkins wasted on something.
Christina Ricci has gone from the little goth girl, to Ms. Holly Homemaker Stepford Wife in a very short amount of time. Winona obviously went to the Christina Aguilera school of lipstick application.
Wow. It is Cory Kennedy. She is alive, and if the rumors are true, wasn't she on 90210 last week as well?
Cowboy Junkies - New York
Yep. It's official, Ben Barnes is prettier than Jessica Biel.

And Colin Firth was on hand to announce the new champion.
I don't see Eric Roberts in Emma Roberts and for that I'm grateful.
Right before this, Ellen landed a back flip.

I have pretty much decided that whenever Jennifer Lopez walks into any room whether it be at Fashion Week, or her bathroom, this is how she poses. She comes in, gives the stoned look, and then walks in.

A first time appearance for Jason Isaacs.
The always lovely Jill Hennessy
and again with her daughter Jacqueline.
I think Jennifer Espositio took the whole Bed Head sponsorship thing a little too literally.
"And Daddy I am going to need another one of the dolls tomorrow because she can't play by herself. Oh, and there is a record store. Did you buy a copy of Uncle Donnie's album? Daddy, are you ever going to marry mommy? She says it is because you can't make a commitment. Is it true you are going to be in Lovely Bones because I just don't see you in that part at all. Oooh, ice cream. I want some. I want to be Little Princess for Halloween. Will I get candy? Can I keep it this year? What exactly is a Funky Bunch? Is it like the Brady Bunch? Bobby teases me at school so I told on him to the teacher, but then later he tried to kiss me. Then he hit me. Daddy, I want that. Can I buy that?"

Malin Akerman proved me wrong. I thought all these outfits were destroyed at the end of filming Boogie Nights.
First time appearance for Kevin Zegers as well.
It has been too long since Julia Stiles has been here. It wasn't that long ago that it seemed that no films were made without her, and then whooosh, bye bye.
You probably are thinking to yourself that Juliette Lewis is wearing the ugliest outfit you have ever seen. Not even close.
This is the ugliest outfit you have ever seen. It is like some mom decided to dress up her anorexic kid in an Olivia Newton John "Physical" time period outfit, realized they didn't have a skirt, so cut up a garbage bag for the skirt. Realized they had no headband and so quickly folded one up out of aluminum foil and sent the kid out trick or treating.

I'm guessing Martha Stewart has her bowling league later.
I don't know what the hell I was thinking putting two Winona Ryder photos in here. Sorry.
Nastia Liukin looks normal here.
Next to maria Sharapova, she looks like her daughter.
Ahhh, Travis barker. Still a boatful of laughs.

How is it possible that Scott Speedman has never been in the photos?
One of your favorites, but sadly not very many votes in the poll. The finalists will be announced Thursday.
It's Punky Brewster. Seriously. It is Soleil Moon Frye.
So, earlier I made the Lovely Bones comment about Mark Wahlberg. Well Rachel Weisz is in it as well. I have yet to read the book, but my best friend has, and assures me that casting Mark Wahlberg in it has ruined what is possibly the greatest book ever published. I don't think she has a problem with Rachel though.
Venus Williams then ate Renee Zelwegger for lunch.

I think Viggo made the finals.
I actually like the hair cut.
I don't know what Taylor Momsen is trying to do anymore.
Hey, it's Timothy Hutton. Remember him? Wow, Debra Winger yesterday and Timothy Hutton today.

What Do You Think?

So, I have not had a chance today to listen to Howard Stern's show, so I don't know what happened. I do know that today, there was supposed to be a woman from San Diego who was going to auction off her virginity. To get around that touch issue of illegality, the consummation is going to take place at The Bunny Ranch outside of Las Vegas, where it just so happens her sister works. The woman, who goes by the name Natalie Dylan to protect her privacy, because as you know, there is no one who will recognize her from her photo is doing so to pay for her college education. Uh huh.

According to the information provided by her to the NY Daily News, she already has one degree and is going to use the money from the auction to pay for her Master's Degree. She wants to be a family therapist. Well, that seems like an ideal profession doesn't it? She sure can talk a lot about family. She says she has been forced to do this because her dad allegedly took out student loans in her name and so she has no money. Her sister turns tricks for a living for the same reason. Mom is a 4th grade teacher who doesn't agree with the decision.

Natalie says, "I don't have a moral dilemma with it. We live in a capitalist society. Why shouldn't I be allowed to capitalize on my virginity?"

Well, I guess legally there is not an issue with it, but will she counsel her patient's children the same thing? This is a woman who wants to get a doctorate at some point and deal with kids and parents. Do you want to visit her? Would you trust her opinion? To prove she is a virgin she will undergo a medical exam and a lie detector test. Oh, and in case you are thinking that the biggest bidder wins. Not so fast. She is going to pick the bidder she likes. Uh huh. So a woman who is going to sell her virginity is going to have second thoughts if one guy bids $1M, and is ugly, but the 2nd place guy is hot and bids $50K. I think we know what she will do.

I think what disgusts me about this whole thing is the fact she is promoting it so heavily. It seems less about having some guy pay for her virginity and more about trying to get her 15 minutes and a reality show or some other way to make money besides being a therapist. I'm surprised she didn't offer to throw in her sister for a 3some if the offer was high enough.

The owner of the Bunny Ranch said, "I think it's a tremendous idea. Why lose it to some guy in the backseat of a Toyota when you can pay for your education?"

And of course why not encourage her to do it because you are getting publicity and a big cut of the proceeds. Maybe I'm wrong and all of you think it is a great idea. Let me know what you think.

One Pair Underwear - Used

How much would you pay for a pair of underwear? Well, if you are like me, you get them 3 for $5 over at Target, and throw those tighty whiteys out after a couple of months of hard use. I guess I would be willing to pay a little extra if the elastic band is extra stretchy.

I am not sure there are many of us who would be willing to buy underwear that was previously worn. Oh sure, there are women who make a couple of extra bucks on their porn sites doing it, but I'm pretty sure they just give them with their dog to play with, kiss them, and throw them in a fed ex box. But, beginning tomorrow, you will have the opportunity to buy a used pair of underwear that does not come from a porn star.

Tomorrow if you have $1M sitting around with nothing to do, you can bid on a pair of Michael Jackson's used underwear. That's right. For the price of a small home in LA, or a night with Naomi Campbell you can fondle Michael Jackson's size 28 Calvin Klein briefs. 28? I didn't even think there was any man that skinny. While you are fondling said briefs, you may want to be aware the he was probably doing some fondling while wearing them for they are the underwear that were seized as evidence in his child molestation trial. You would think that for $1M, they would throw in the blue light, but apparently you have to purchase that separately.

Who on earth would want those underwear, and who would want to pay $1M for them? Would you ever want to meet the person who did? What are they going to do with them? Frame them in the foyer of their house with a sign that says abandon hope all ye who enter here. It is definitely not a conversation starter at a party. "Oooh. Who's are those?" "Oh, those are the underwear Michael Jackson wore when he was messing around with some boy. You like?"

If that doesn't disgust you than also for sale are handwritten letters about his annulment from Lisa Marie Presley and a half tub of bleaching cream.

50 Cent And Some Ho's

50 Cent/ Curtis Jackson has one hell of a management team. They have made him a ton of money despite the fact he appears to be as dumb as a box of rocks when it comes to real life. The NY Post is reporting that after Curtis Jackson actually had something positive go his way in regards to his kid with Shaniqua Tompkins that he basically gave it all back and more not even two minutes later. The judge is probably kicking himself for giving 50, alternating weekends with his 12 year old son.

When 50 faced reporters after the hearing, he was asked what he was going to do before spending time with his son, 50 replied, "I'm going to hang out with some hos, make some movies, make some music, and continue to kick it."

Nice huh? Tompkins' lawyers said that this is the reason 50 should not get to spend any time with his son, because of the bad influence he will be. Shaniqua also said that her son didn't want to spend any time with 50. I find that hard to believe, because he is 12, and because I think any 12 year old kid would want to spend time with his dad if given the chance. No, not if he beats him or hasn't seen him in 12 years, but in most cases, a kid wants to spend time with his dad. Add to the fact that dad will probably get one of the ho's to throw in a lap dance or two for the kid and it is all good.

When 50 said those words, his lawyers and the judge must have cringed. Now the judge looks like an idiot, and you can be sure that he will correct that mistake the next time 50 comes in to his courtroom. Judges don't like to be embarrassed, and now everyone around the world knows this judge's name.

What would possess someone to even say that when they have just been fighting for their kid? Notice it was the first word out of his mouth, before music, or movies, or even kicking it. Ho's and lots of them please.

Josh Hartnett Did Not Have Sex In The Library With Miss Scarlett

The internet was abuzz last week as it often is when there is news of hotness and sex tapes. In fact one porn company offered $500,000 to anyone who could produce the sex tape. They don't usually do that unless there is a strong possibility the tape could be real. Josh Hartnett says it isn't and is suing the Daily Mirror.

For those of you who are dreaming of a Josh Hartnett sex tape, here is the story according to The Mirror. Josh and his lady friend decided to check out the library in the hotel Josh was staying at. Whether she was visiting, or just the head librarian, helping out with a library card, no one seems to know. But, the story goes the couple did it in the library, and the entire episode was recorded on CCTV. In addition, Josh was sternly reprimanded by hotel security. I don't know if he was reprimanded for having sex in the library, or for not using protection, but he was reprimanded and threatened with being tossed out of the hotel.

Well, today in London, Josh sued the paper. Why he would sue I have no idea since this makes him look pretty good. He would have a tough time proving he was damaged in a US courtroom because of the story. Studios would love it and he wouldn't seem like such a wuss.

Josh wants an apology from the paper. You know. If he was married or was gay and his lover got pissed, I could see wanting an apology, but who else is going to be upset? Did he really read the story and cry himself to sleep that night? All he is doing now is saying that he only does it missionary, with the lights off, and only after marriage. There will be showers before and after, and then they will push their beds back apart.

The Doctor Should Be Shot

You know how Naomi Campbell said she went to Brazil to have a procedure last year? Everyone thought it was plastic surgery or an abortion. Well, Naomi said it was the removal of a cyst. Now she says the operation took care of an infertility problem she had, and that now she can have babies and she is trying hard to get pregnant. Sounds like maybe she got her tubes untied. Should have left them tied, and someone should go smack that doctor around too. He obviously has not been on the receiving end of a Naomi Campbell cell phone toss.

Umm, in what country would anyone allow Naomi Campbell to have a baby? Does anyone here honestly think Naomi Campbell would be a good mother? I guess in the sense she could hire enough help to pass the baby off to hired help she would be a good mother, but in no other way would she. I think she just wants a little doll or is jealous that her other model friends have one, or the guy who gave her a $5M gift would probably give a lot more if she got knocked up.

Oh, let's stop here for a second and talk about that gift. So, Naomi is dating some Russian guy who obviously has more money than sense. $5M on a gift for Naomi Campbell. He bought her a house or condo or hair extensions. I can't remember. I do remember the cost though and said to myself that I need to find a rich Russian billionaire and fake it for awhile. This is a girlfriend, and not even a long term one and he just doles out a gift like that. For $5M, I am sure you get the entire Girls Next Door cast to come live with you and they would probably actually have sex with you and wouldn't try to throw crap at you after. God help you if you don't take care of Naomi first if you know what I mean.

See, Naomi and children would not be good. Naomi and pregnancy would not be good. Is she that self-delusional that she thinks she would make a good parent? She obviously has money, or does something in some way that brings some in, so what would be the reason? You can't tell me she has maternal instincts, and that kid would be beaten more than Mommie Dearest on meth.

I would be willing to wager that Naomi Campbell has probably never changed a dirty diaper. She would no doubt get mad at the kid for having the nerve to not find a toilet and wiping their butt.

All 4 Love Includes A Beating

Apparently when Color Me Badd singer Bryan Abrams told the woman he was with that he wanted to sex her up she took offense. Enough so, that despite being in a restaurant with her in the middle of the afternoon, Abrams allegedly punched her in the mouth. These kinds of things will happen when you are drunk off your ass at 4pm on a weekday.

Did that group make that much money where they can sit around and get drunk in the afternoon 20 years after their last hit? Damn. Of course they do live in Oklahoma City so the cost of living is really low. You know what I like about Oklahoma? I think the speed limit is 75 which is kind of cool. The signs all say that it is exactly 75 and there is no leeway. No one believes that of course and so you have people going 85 and saying this is the greatest state ever. Then of course, you pull over to eat at some place on the side of the road and there is a disgruntled 40 year old trying to pick up chicks in the bar by singing I Ador Mi Amor to them, while holding a beer and asking them if they want to go back to his place and see his new triple wide.

Apparently Abrams has not done much in the past few years except spend his money drinking. He was arrested for drunk driving in 2005 and 2006. Of course he probably would have also driven home yesterday. You think he has Color Me Badd posters on his walls at home and every piece of music is Color Me Badd. He has to be a pretty big celebrity in Oklahoma and judging by the rant he leveled at the woman, the ladies must love him.

“I’m a kill you! You and me! You and me!”

I don't know where the extra "a" came from, but the rest sounds like it might be a song lyric. He should write that s**t down. It's gold.

Was There Salmonella Involved?

Last time I checked Thailand was not a third world country. Sure, they have some issues. I mean for one thing they have a law that say more than five people cannot be gathered together which must make it tough for a bar or restaurant to operate. However, they have great beaches, love elephants and refused to accept Gary Glitter. These are all good things. However, when you dissolve a government because your Prime Minister guest hosted a cooking show and took a couple of bucks for it, then you have some serious issues.

I guess what in Thailand would be their Supreme Court said that the current Prime Minister violated the Constitution and will be shown the door along with the cabinet. They can stay in power until a new government is formed, but basically, it is the end for the man who had been Prime Minister since February.

From what I understand, the guy loves cooking and has hosted cooking shows for decades, and just wanted to do it sometimes. Seems pretty harmless to me. The government claims he could show bias. They are right of course. I mean just think about all the power he could give the other chefs on the network. The whole country could be run by chefs. The leaders of the country running around cussing like Gordon Ramsay, while stopping to make a lovely poached sole.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which randy celeb turfed his publicists out of his dressing room - as they were eating their lunch - so he could have sex with a girl he'd picked up?

Today's Blind Items

#1 This one is from the accountant. Turns out, this A list movie star is bad at something else besides fixing his hair. Last year, he managed to lose almost $7 million playing poker. No wonder he wants to make another installment of his franchise.

#2 This famous twin is doing whatever she can to start pregnancy speculation just to get some positive publicity. She's gone so far as to make sure that others know she can't drink or smoke, especially in public, and taking to wear even more hideous and baggy clothing than usual.

Random Photos Part One

Kids In The Hall Reunion? Top spot guaranteed. Man, I have some YouTubing to do this afternoon.

This almost made the top spot just because you have a legend in Alan Alda, a buddy in Lauren Graham, and one of my favorite actors, Greg Kinnear. Oh, and sure for the relatives of the director of Marc Abraham you have him as well.
And because it is my site I will force you to look at another photo of Lauren and Greg.
Apparently Bryan Brown travels with his bowling ensemble at all times. You know. Just in case.

Yes, yes, I know many of you voted for Adrien Brody in the poll. Is the jacket designed to look like that or was it recently crumpled into a ball?
Hard to believe someone paid someone for a picture of a guy stretching, but I'm sure money changed hands.

Was Colin Firth anyone's choice, because he is not a bad looking guy.
Brooke Shields swears it is the same pair from the commercial from so many years ago. Could be why she looks like she is going to explode.
I could have just posted individual photos of the three, but, I like it and them. I don't like how Brad and Tom Cruise have started dressing alike, but other than that everyone looks good.
Speaking of not looking good. Damn Bill Maher. Good thing you have money and fame.

Throw some pancake makeup on Evan Rachel Wood and you have Marilyn Manson.

Maybe Marilyn should just buy a mirror to look at when he is having sex.
It has been a long time since Evangeline Lilly has made the photos. She looks great.
Speaking of looking great, Debra Winger looks amazing. If I hadn't decided to ban all things John Travolta from my life I might have been tempted to watch Urban Cowboy tonight after Kids In The Hall.
Hell of an ad. The woman with the snake is Daisy Lowe, and then you have the newly married Peaches Geldof on the right. The woman in the middle? I have no idea, but her parents are probably proud.

Jack White was headed to a Willy Wonka convention after the press conference. I would have also accepted going to an Amish buffet.

I love Julianne Moore, but she looks too thin.
A Jason Mewes sneer. Love it.
I saw Gael Garcia Bernal's name in the poll a few times.
Elisabeth Shue and her husband Davis Guggenheim.
"That's it baby. Stick your chest out more."

Win an award in Venice and show the muscles. Click on the photo if you want to read what the tattoo says.
Do you think Antonio Banderas is allowed to use the bathroom by himself?
Lindsay Lohan got a timeout. Whether it was because she was bad, or because she was drinking a Stella, no one knows.
The fake laugh, by Kate Beckinsale. That could be a fragrance name. Fake Laugh for when you want to smell like a celebrity.
Got it. The book did well. Move on please.

Sandra Oh and Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys. The guy in the middle? Lucky.
Look at Robin's fist. Why did she take him back? She looks twenty years older and Sean Penn looks like he knows he can get away with anything.
RENT is closed.
Rosario Dawson ending up after the RENT photo was accidental, but hey, it works.

Kate Hudson Also Allergic To "Everyday People"

Who knew the virus that Kathy Hilton started, would spread to others? Well, it is catching faster than a raging case of herpes. According to the NY Post, Kate Hudson suffers from an extreme case of everyday people-itis. There is really no known cure except to have your career tumble into a downward spiral. Hey, with Kate, that really should not take too long. Apparently when Kate Hudson attended the Rachel Zoe party for her new television show, Kate Hudson had to get into an elevator with people who have regular jobs. The fact that she had to be in a confined space with so many people dependent on a paycheck threw Kate into a frenzy and she exclaimed, "I'm freaking out. It's too much." Now, it could be possible that this was not about Kate and the everyday people. I mean it could have been they were playing "Hard To Handle" in Muzak form and it just freaked her the hell out. Or, perhaps it could have been an elevator that had a television and she was forced to view a Lance Armstrong cancer PSA, or even worse a few minutes from one of her own films. "Dane Cook to the set please."

Upon arriving at her destination on the roof, Kate immediately began shoving people off so she could have the roof to herself. Claiming that the people would be better off dead anyway and they were a thorn on the side of society, she then made a beeline for a corner of the party where she demanded a body guard. Whether to protect herself from possible retribution from those she just thrust to her death, or because she simply was afraid of being talked to by someone who might confuse her with a nobody, no one really knows.

Kate did brighten up when Kevin Connolly came by and said, "hi." Thinking that he might be worth a few headlines she immediately offered to be his girlfriend and they could meet Goldie and Kurt the next week and see about getting married. Yeah, I don't know, but whatever she said, Kevin stayed approximately five seconds.

Ahhh, good times. Kate was then whisked out of the building and sanitized for her protection.

Russia Doesn't Like South Park

I an attempt to befriend Scientoligists or just because they have nothing better to do, the Russian government has decided to sue the people who show South Park in Russia. Apparently they find it offensive to not only Christians and Muslims but every other person as well. The fact that it is the highest rated program in Russia I guess just shows that people there don't know what is best for them and so the government is going to take matters into its own hands.

The particular episode that sent prosecutors into a frenzy and denouncing it extremist was the Christmas episode. Apparently the government did not find the collaboration of Santa Claus, Jesus, Satan and Adolf Hitler singing holiday favorites a glowing tribute to the holiday.

Yay Mickey

For those of you who thought I was going to hum a few bars of Tony Basil's song, I'm sorry to disappoint, but Hey, if you want I guess we could do a little bit. "Hey Mickey you're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey." Yeah, yeah, I know. Now you will be cussing me out all day because you have it in your head. Nothing wrong with that.

Actually though this is about taking the time to tell Mickey Rourke, who is by far one of my favorite celebrities to write about. Over the past year I have posted some photos of Mickey from his comeback film The Wrestler. Apparently Mickey is back and amazing and he kicks ass, because it won the award for Best Picture at the Venice Film Festival. Apparently he would have won the award for Best Actor, but they have some weird rule about more than one award going to the same film.

Mickey, as usual, dressed to impress at the awards, but I have nothing but love for him and for making a comeback. Now if someone could just talk to him about his clothes. Below is a clip from the film and an interview about it.

If It's Monday, It Must Be Verne Troyer Sex Tape Day

A website in China today started selling the Verne Troyer sex tape online. For only $9.95 you to can enjoy the fun filled goodness of Verne having sex with Ranae Shrider. Now, if you believe Ranae which I really don't, she was stopped outside the home she shares with the tongued one and offered $5,000 for the tape by a total stranger. She accepted. That is the biggest pile of crap in the world. She is definitely getting a piece of the action from the website. Yeah, sue me, I don't care. There is no way you are going to just run into a stranger on the street and he says I'll give you $5,000 for the tape and then you run inside and get it off the refrigerator where Verne can't reach it and bring it outside and say thanks.

What she did was probably give it to a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who set up this Chinese website so we can all watch Verne get down and dirty. So, I am going to give you the link, and if anyone buys it, you have to do a review of it. I want to know if you ever get aroused while watching it, or if it is more like that feeling when you are sitting in the dentist chair before anyone comes to start working on your mouth. You know that feeling right? The one you dread even just thinking about? The one that makes you shiver. Can you smell that lead apron they throw on you for the x-rays? I can. The feel of the film in your mouth. OK, so is that what the Verne Troyer sex tape feels like because I have a feeling it is.

Lainey Blind Item

It's not just Russell Crowe who has anger issues...only he was stupid enough to beat down a dude who didn't have to survive in the business.

This ferocious lady who in these circles has always been known to be a difficult bitch keeps her attacks, with a few exceptions (like if you make the mistake of not getting out of her way quickly enough at the airport), restricted to those who have to work around her. Like PAs and caterers, makeup artists. Whichever minion catches her in a bad mood and depending on the crime, it could result in an open hand slap to the face, throwing coffee all over someone's pants, and most recently, when craft services wasn't up to her exacting standards, stalking up to an unsuspecting staffer, ripping the phone out of his ear, and screeching to the person on the other line: "you've been talking to a retard who can't do his job."

Apparently her episodes have been getting more and more violent, so much so that the director and producer on her current project have had to call in reinforcements: her husband is now travelling with her to calm her now legendary temper but also to look after the little one, who has been exposed on more than a few occasions to her viotriolic outbursts. So far...it's working. Everyone is relieved but also extra, extra cautious. Calm before the storm.

Video Music Awards - Photos

Russell Brand

Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan

Tokyo Hotel

Rihanna


Ryan Sheckler


Clark Duke and Seth Green


DJ AM and Travis Barker


Linkin Park


Pussycat Dolls


Shia LaBeouf and Slash


Michael Phelps and Ciara


Lil' Wayne


Chris Brown


Katy Perry


Paramore


Britney Spears


Christina Aguilera


Jordin Sparks and John Legend


Demi Moore


Kanye West


Ciara


Ashley Tisdale


Bar Rafaeli


Ashlee Simpson


Corbin Bleu

A. Reader Reviews NKOTB

Due to personal and business reasons beknownst only to myself and some of my associates who have heard me screaming in my office in frustration, I was fully prepared to hate the new New Kids on the Block album. I was not always this bitter towards the guys who defined the term, boy band. Back in my youth I, along with every other girl in my 4th grade class, was an avid New Kids fan. I had all the tapes (this was before the days of every kid under ten having their own ipods), the trading cards, the lunchbox, the bed sheets, and, perhaps most embarrassingly, the stage complete with Jordan and Jonathan Knight dolls. (they fell out of popularity before grandma could get me the remaining band members for Christmas)

Upon announcement of their reunion my shrieks could be heard echoing through out the Hollywood Hills. Though, like many of both the lovers and the haters, in the back of my mind I wondered, could they do it again?

With the tour fast selling out and 20 additional dates added, plus plans for an international leg in 2009, all signs were pointing to yes. But, and I know I'm not the only one feeling this, the appearances on the Today show had me a bit worried. It was clear that, like their fans, the guys had grown up. And one had to wonder if that was a good thing, or signs of a midlife crisis. The dance moves weren't quite so energetic because, let's face it, one wrong move and these guys were likely to throw out their back. Could a group of five guys in their late thirties to early forties really reclaim their status as sex symbols? The group was originally manufactured by super producer Maurice Starr. What if they, like the Jonas Brothers, are simply the product of good PR and the public was distracted from their lack of talent by flashy dance moves and boyish good looks? Excited as I was, admittedly, I had to wonder, did my life experience at age nine qualify me to judge talent?

Due to some personal beefs with certain members, I took somewhat of a sick pleasure in the critics inevitable "Old Guys on the Block," jokes. But secretly, I hoped that yet another childhood memory would not be crushed with the release of their new album. The truth about Santa sent me to a shrink for the first time; could my delicately balanced sanity handle a blow like a flop of New Kids proportions?

Their first album of new material since the 1994 disappointment, Face the Music, (which yes, I had to wikipedia for the name since, like most New Kids fans, I don't remember anything past Step by Step) dropped this past week. And fans, breathe with me a collective sigh of relief because the album is HOT. The guys have, for lack of a better term, faced the music and the reality that they are fast approaching middle age. So instead of trying to recreate the sound of their youth, they have come up with a new, mature style that will keep the asses of their fans shaking. And hey, since everyone's grown up (and one New Kid is on the brink of divorce) they can enjoy the view! Something the Kids sneakily acknowledge in grown up lyrics like those of "Big Girl Now:" You know I like the way you move it/girl you're all grown up and now you're ready to let it go/wanna be a big girl got to prove it/with a body like that you've got a grown man ready to blow.

Oddly, I think the first single off the album, "Summertime", is by far the weakest track. And apparently the listeners agree since the song peaked at 36 on the Billboard chart. Why they didn't pick songs like "Big Girl Now" featuring dance club queen Lady Gaga, "Dirty Dancing", or "Full Service" paying homage to Starr's original boy band creation, New Edition, is beyond me. The songs have irresistible beats and a unique blend of hip hop and electronic dance that will surely earn them wide club play. While the lyrics are not life changing, the BEATS! Oh dear reader, the beats! Had I not been listening to the album for the first time in a crowded café in the Valley, I would've been up and dancing. As it was I was busted by a very handsome gentleman while I was bobbing my head and tapping my feet (and, sexy senor, if you know I'm speaking to you, call me!). The record is so catchy that I couldn't help myself. The guys' collaboration with hip hop heavyweights Timbaland, Ne-Yo, and Akon is brilliant; adding just enough cool factor while still retaining a style uniquely their own. And for those who are just looking for a little pop cheese to get stuck in their head during a boring board meeting, "Twisted" will be the highlight of the album for you.

My only complaint? That the euphoric pop experience ends so quickly! Only as long as a spin class, I was hoping for something that would make my mind numbing cardio experience on the treadmill stretch to an hour or so. But, admittedly, I'd rather the 45 minutes of pure joy the album delivers versus an hour plus of mediocrity. In the entertainment industry, where aging is a sin of epic proportions, the "Kids" have proven that growing up and becoming men is not necessarily a bad thing!

MTV Gets Out The Kneepads

Apparently MTV doesn't feel it can attract big names anymore unless it promises to give the artists awards for showing up. I'm not sure why MTV even calls the damn things Video Music Awards anyway because when is the last time you saw a full, uninterrupted video on MTV? Yeah, the entire damn thing without Beth from Indianapolis screaming about how her BFF is the greatest.

If you haven't figured out what the hell I am talking about it is the fact that MTV gave Britney Spears three awards last night. Three of them. For her video Pieces Of Me. Was the song ok? Yeah it was ok. Was it good enough to be the f**king video of the year? Hell no. If anyone out there thinks that her song was the best song of the year then you are brain dead. So you say, "Ent, this is about the videos." OK, fine. Did you see the video? If you haven't it is below. It is worse than the song. It looks like some high school kid shot a bunch of dance team tryouts and set it to music. In addition to the biggest award of the night, she won Best Pop Video and Best Female Video. If they could have figured out a way to call her a man, she would have won all those as well. What do you think that all of the other artists feel about the situation? You think Mariah is happy? Rihanna? Even Katy Perry has the right to be ticked off. Wouldn't you be ticked off that you didn't win because you couldn't deliver ratings like Britney? So for 22 words, she got three awards. I can just see her dad and Larry Rudolph negotiating with MTV. We want an award for every seven words. What is she God?

This was a charade to get Britney Spears to come to the show. She comes and opens the show she gets a few awards. Now, did Britney look good? Hell yes she looked good. Better than she has in years. But this is not a contest about looks. It is supposed to be an award show. That is how they bill it, but it isn't. What it is, is a bunch of suits over at Viacom who said lets nominate Britney for that Pieces Of S**t video and and then if she agrees to come to the show she wins. It will be the comeback story of the year, plus she is like the Susan Lucci of the VMA's. That is because the VMA's actually gasp, used to present awards to the actual best videos of the year. Later it became more of a song thing, but still, it had some respectability. It has none now.

None.

Oh, and making Russell Brand come out and apologize for saying crap about the Jonas Brothers. Who do you think did that? One of the Jonas Brothers cried, and MTV about had a heart attack and so told Russell to stop having sex in the bathroom backstage and come out and apologize to the meal tickets.

What MTV needs to do is just let the general public vote on every award. Sure, the Jonas Brothers would win every category they are nominated in, but hell, at least they did something this year. At least we know they are popular. Does anyone in the world think Britney Spears would have won any of the awards if the general public got to vote? No. Would she have won if only music critics got to vote? No. So why on earth is MTV trying to pass this off as legitimate? It isn't, and they should be ashamed of themselves. The only thing that would have been more disturbing is if somehow Heidi Montag won an award. I'm actually surprised they didn't throw her a bone and invent some category that she could win.

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Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which A-lister got so trashed prior to Fashion Rocks, she could barely walk in a straight line down the red carpet and had to be eased into her seat?

Organisers also located an emergency sick bag in case she vomited.