#1 - Don't be fooled by the rumors. They are a distraction. You may have heard this former A list singer has been dating a hockey player. Nope, not the one in the stories. A married one. She doesn't need the bad press and so the other name was floated out there.
#2 - C+ list actress co-star on a Top 20 network show. You would know her face if you watch the show, but doubtful you would know the name. But not for the reasons you think. Anyway, you would think since her boyfriend can't get a job he would at least find time to help raise the baby while our actress is at work. I mean it is his kid I think. But, no, he makes the actress get a nanny so he can go hang out at strip clubs all day with her money.
#3 - Foreign born B lister who is the lead in his Top 20 network show. Umm, if you are going to do some work on our actor's house, you may want to consider insurance or a lawyer. A group of people were repairing our actor's roof. One of them slipped on the roof and fell to the ground. Hurt badly. Our actor would not let the man into his home, and said that because the hurt worker was an illegal immigrant, no one would care about him one way or the other and to just get him off the actor's property.
#4 - Want to know the new lover of our fake bride? Not going to back and rehash. Someone help everyone else out. OK, our actress is probably C+ list, because everyone on these ensemble shows makes some dough and they are on television every week, but they are not household names. Well, our actress has been on several hits, but this is her biggest and she is a co-star on it. She is a little older than our fake bride but they have been inseparable for the past two months.
To all my readers and friends in Canada, enjoy your Thanksgiving weekend. I hope that all of you get to spend time with your family, your friends, and those close to you. I'm actually getting impatient for Thanksgiving here because it is my favorite holiday. I actually thought about flying to Canada this weekend and just crashing a house of a stranger for some turkey. But, with my luck it would be probably be some student or something who couldn't go home because they had too much studying to do and they would be going out to dinner for some Chinese food and I could have that just as easily here. Well, in any event, make sure that whatever you don't finish on Sunday, go ahead and send it to me. Don't know if I can wait six more weeks for Turkey.
Ummm. They must be playing hockey in hell because Ben Affleck is holding his daughter and is out in public with her. I would have also accepted, "Look, up in the sky. It's a bird, it's a plane. No, it's a pig."
For those of you who have not seen Beck in awhile or didn't catch him on Letterman.
Calle 13 - New York
Corbin Bernsen is looking pretty damn good.
Is it me, or does Josh Brolin look a little different?
It's actually sad that Giselle can make it tough to decide which one is plastic and which one is real.
Duffy - London
Yeah. Despite the idiocy that is Dania Ramirez and Jay Hernandez I really want to see their new film Quarantine.
Too much Charlize Theron lately, but she is playing golf. Never seen it before so I had to include it.
Kevin Connelly is directing the music video in which Gisele is starring in. Somehow the two got separated from each other in the photos. Not on the set though. On the set they were like glue. And not Elmer's or all the paste you ate as a kid, but super glue. Like construction helmet to the beam super glue. Like be careful playing with it and then your beans or the emergency room is going to laugh. Oh yeah. They didn't know I could hear them but I could.
You can't actually buy Dep anymore can you? I mean where is Jason Wahler getting his tribute to the 80's hair gel from anyway?
Jonathon Schaech. Don't like the guy, but he looks decent here. He has a girlfriend who clings to him like Kim Kardashian to a rich guy, but he looks decent.
OK. Listen. I understand Joey King is in the film. But she is like what? 8. I don't think she should be seeing the film.
Is Joe Jonas wearing makeup? Is that why he is so upset at getting caught? The happy go lucky face isn't there when he isn't expecting it.
Been too long since we have seen Maggie. Of course the pose looks like she just got arrested and is being booked, but it is great to see her.
Mel C. - Manchester
Apparently Katie Price actually does ride horses and is not doing a Civil War reenactment.
Kinky - New York
At what point do you suppose Katie Chonacas decided that she just couldn't find the right pair of jeans and said f**k it, just wearing the shirt.
Probably my favorite photo of the day. Sting and Elle Macpherson.
You know. This doesn't even look like a good idea in the photo. Perhaps the baby should be on the boat side arm instead of hanging over the railing above the sea. Just a tip.
This is some French television dude named Stephane Bern. Apparently he has no friends.
Like it? It is by Picasso.
Has anyone ever seen Marin Hinkle at any event ever? I don't even think she does press for Two and A Half Men. And she picks Quarantine to be her first? Interesting.
I have to say that last week everyone gave me lots of great ideas for future Your Turns. We have talked a lot about films and music in the Your Turn segment, but never your all-time favorite television show. You know the one, where if you did not have a way to record it or watch it online. No matter what you would be in front of that television watching that show.
Which rowdy celeb is hounding his ex with text messages and is still under the illusion they are dating? She has definitely moved on.
Yes, I admit it. I laughed when I saw the clip of Oprah from the new season of 30 Rock. Whether it is because Tina Fey set her up beautifully, or whether Oprah does actually have some comedic timing, I don't know, but their sneak peek scene from the November 6th episode is funny. Really funny. I also want to send a special thanks to the people at NBC for only including Jennifer Aniston for about one second of the 30 seconds from the preview. It is one second I won't get back of my life, but I do appreciate it.
Sunday, is the 10th anniversary of the death of Matthew Shepard. Don't let his death be in vain. Fight bigotry and hate with both words and actions wherever you go, and in everything you do. To read a report from Matthew's mom and to see a video of her on CBS discussing what progress has been made over the past ten years in the fight against hate, click here.
First, gotta say how much I’m lovin’ these cranky-ass comments everybody’s leaving. You all make sinister voice-mailing Alec Baldwin seem like some sort of friggin’ pansy, by comparison. Particularly intrigued by all the Queen Latifah remarks that claim I’m the one who’s ultimately being antigay by writing Blind Vices about closeted celebs, making it seem like their actions are sinister and bad, therefore I’m the one promoting self-hating activities by gay people, and therefore I’m part of the problem. Screw that crap. Just the messenger here, babes. I mean, by that warped thinking, half the White House press team is responsible for the war in Iraq, just by virtue of reporting it, what a crock of BS.
And just to prove my point, here we go again—and babes, is it ever an evil delish one! Dimpled Drew is a most successful performer. He’s got it all, good wife at home, a family who adores him, looks, bucks, nice bod, cute face, what could possibly be missing? Uh, well, for starters, certain activities that involve the type of person Eddie Murphy’s infamous for transporting in the middle of the night: trannies. Transvestites, to be exact, i.e., men who dress in women’s clothing, often for the purpose of sexual pleasure and to perform lustful exercises for seemingly straight men.
You know the type these pretty hons hook up with: Dudes who pretend they’re all happy and het in their other life, all the while they’re getting down with male-male sex on the sly, and convincing themselves it’s OK, ‘cause the dude’s wear lipstick and a wig. You straight men just crack me up, particularly when they’re as stupid as Dimpled Drew.
See, D2, always deftly used an anonymous email account to set up his rendezvous with his fave tranny, let’s call her Maxi Knee-Pad. So, Maxi was always given strict instructions: leave the front door to her apartment open, lights out, candles only, then Dimpled would creep on in at the appointed hour and get serviced (a lot, and all the hell over, babes, pretty horny dude here we’re talkin’ about, hardly just a homo-curious lad, he’s an all-out slut!) and then slip away into the night, D.D.’s true identity undetected.
And it worked. Until one day, the handsome dumbass made a date with Maxi from his regular email account, which had his real name on it. Hmmm. Wonder how the fan base you’re, like, totally effing with by lying to them, would feel about this, Mr. Drew? Shall we find out?
Last week, this A list director of some very huge films was shooting his new movie. After work, our director went to a local restaurant (as was his routine) where he picked up two local floozies. After buying them a few drinks and impressing them with his big-shot “I’m a Big Hollywood Director” come-on, our director took the two tramps back to his hotel for a night of debauchery. Little did our director know what he was getting himself into!
Turns out that this pair of hometown hotties weren’t as dumb as our director thought. In fact, there were certified pros, if you get my meaning. (Word has it ugly pros, too – but hey, whattaya want.)
Anyway, flash forward a few hours
Our director wakes up the next morning feeling all kinds of groggy. He discovers his wallet missing, and worst of all – his laptop stolen. On the purloined laptop was reportedly the script to his new movie and several highly secret, ultra-confidential, For-His-Eyes-Only visual FX sequences for the new movie that could be leaked any day now. Not surprisingly, the studio is furious with our director and his utter lack of discretion.
Well, I think that if you are brave enough to pose on the cover of a national magazine while breast feeding you should get the top spot, so here is Angelina Jolie doing just that.
George Clooney. Definitely not breast feeding. Well, at least not in this photo.
First time appearance for Charlie Hunnam and Ron Perlman, but definitely not so for Katey Sagal.
Yeah Carmen. That's the way we felt when we saw Disaster Movie. So, when are you going to announce your pregnancy, or did she? I can't keep up.
Beverley Knight - London
Buckethead - Asbury Park, NJ
Just because it has been awhile since I had Lindsay Lohan alone in the photos.
You might not like her music, but I always love the way Katy Perry dresses.
Like the world needs a 60 foot high billboard of Jennifer Lopez. Lucky for us it is only in Tokyo.
Some art of John Lennon on display in New York.
I don't think I have ever had Jennifer Garner and Liv Tyler in the same photo. Throw in Summer Phoenix and you have a winner.
Apparently when Sarah Jessica Parker doesn't want to do her hair, the whole damn family doesn't get to do their hair.
Xenu Cereal coming to a store near you. Yes, I know it is pudding, but the cereal thing works better.
I love these posed photos in the park.
Michael Chiklis. Totally unappreciated in my opinion.
If you are in Los Angeles or can be in Los Angeles next Friday night October 17th, I would love to have you attend the official wrap party for LA Fashion Week and of course write about it as well. Oh, and photos. Need photos. So, a camera other than your cell phone would be good. I think it is a party and a fashion show and I'm sure there will be booze. It is probably bring your own coke, but if you forget, you can probably find some there. Send me an e-mail if you are interested.
Which celeb is only allowed out to award shows if he's chaperoned because his wife doesn't trust him? The young stallion said he doesn't even trust himself after a glass of champers...
So, I have had this story for about a year. I got it at the same time as what turned out to be Timmy/Shimmy. I can tell you that the person who gave me all my great classic Hollywood stories passed away within the last year, but he did manage to pass along a few more before he passed. A great man who will be missed a bunch, but his stories live on.
For this one, we need to start way back. Even really before classic Hollywood. Hell when this started there really wasn't a Hollywood yet. This is about an A list actress for almost all of her career. Acting was what she was most famous for, but she was probably better at other things. Academy Award winner? Nope. She was in a nominated film or two though.
When our actress was still a very young teenager, she got pregnant by a man. Some say that the father of the baby was a man she later married, while others think she may have got pregnant by a relative. In any event, the fact is that the person who impregnated her was unable or unwilling to marry her at that time. She gave birth to a boy and gave the boy up for adoption.
The years pass and our actress grows into a fine woman, and starts to make a name for herself. Finally she ends up in Hollywood. It isn't where she was planning on going necessarily, but when she finally made it there, she made it really, really big.
Now, although there wasn't really open adoption back when she gave up her child, there was what was called family adoption. In this case, our actress who had a cousin who was of suitable age to have children, already had one or two of her own with her husband so took the infant in, and raised it as their own. This was not a particularly close cousin. Maybe a 2nd or so, but even 2nd cousins want their share of fame by being close to a famous relative and so the whole family always wanted a piece of our actress. At some point, the son of our actress came out to Hollywood. He didn't know he was her son. All he knew was that he had a cousin or an aunt or someone who he saw in the movie theatre each week and thought maybe she could give him a job.
Well he was a good looking guy and our actress said she could probably help him out when he showed up out of the blue one day and landed on her doorstep. At the time he showed up, she was in between marriages. Kind of. When he explained who he was, she knew it was her son. The thing is, she decided not to inform him of this face and apparently the three or four people who also knew, chose to not inform him either.
Our actress always had men with her. Always helping her out or running errands. She was never without some kind of company for flirtation. Well one day, apparently things got a little carried away in the flirtation department and our actress and her son ended up rolling around in the sack. It was the first time, but not the last. It went on for about six months. Not everyday, but a few times a week.
She never told him how she was related to him. What she did though was at some point get a conscience or got guilt and she set him up with some extra from some film she was working and she was one hell of a matchmaker because the couple fell in love and moved back to where our actress was from. It is somewhere in that time frame, that her son either told someone in his family, OR, he told the extra he married and she passed it along to someone in the family. Apparently only one person in the family found out. That person confronted the actress who admitted it, but begged that it be kept quiet. No one would have printed anything anyway, but she still wanted it kept quiet. On the home front it was kept quiet. But, over the years, as our actress aged, she would be telling stories of men she had been with and every once in awhile would let it slip out that she had a very illicit affair. There are probably a handful of people she told the story to, and one of them was the man who told it to me.
I think this is the first time that Jon Stewart has been in the photos. He just never goes anywhere. So, to make up for all this lost time, he gets the top spot.
Amos Lee - New York
Anika Moa - Auckland, NZ
Umm, Gina Gershon has looked like she has been on a week long bender everytime I have seen her photo lately.
Wow, Eva Longoria must have gone to Wigs -R - Us to find a wig of such quality. It's like she called my grandmother and borrowed one.
I know this is probably not a G rated question, but do you think that Ben Stiller ever asks Christine Taylor to pretend she is Marcia and Ben plays Jan? I don't know who Ben would play.
First time appearance for Bart Johnson.
Not the first time for Benicio del Toro obviously, but be glad there was not a closeup, because Benicio looked as if he had not had any sleep for a few weeks and done nothing but smoke cigarettes during that time.
Love the randomness and love that smirk on Kimmel.
Bet you didn't recognize Jules Asner. She leaves E! and the next thing you know she is filling out that AARP card. Goodness what happened to her.
Want something to like about Hayden? She brings pastries when she visits. I've got liquor. What I don't have is people who bring over pastries.
Hugh Laurie on his favorite mode of transportation. I know his wife finally decided to move to LA, but I don't know if she has or not. Sidecar time perhaps.
Remember Al Gore and the way he looked in 2000?
Lewis Hamilton looks so much better when he doesn't have Nicole Scherzinger hanging all over him.
Jerry Stiller looks great. If you have never seen Hot Pursuit, you need to. Jerry, Ben, Richard Crenna and of course John Cusack.
You have to admit that Jeremy Piven knows how to dress.
Apparently the whole scissor finger has different looks around the world. This is Italy.
And New Zealand.
And France.
First time appearance for Oscar Isaacs.
Sarah Silverman - New York
Sofia Milos is the reason I watched Caroline In The City. OK, Lea too.
Stephen Dorff is aging well. Botox?
And my mom said I would only get hair on my palms.
WHICH wife of a rock superstar has been punishing him for going to strip clubs without her? The spouse has spent about $30 million on a house they don't really need to get back at him for not including her in his adventures . . .
WHICH boy-band member is going to shock his female fans when he comes out of the closet?
Which hunk is furious after a glamour girl set him up for a raunchy photoshoot? The hotty wants to be taken seriously as a TV personality but was fuming after he was pounced on by the busty blonde.
Think Jessica Simpson and Kim Kardashian are the only ones with NFL boyfriends? Well, I think you are forgetting about one very important C+ actor on a hit network drama who leaves his wife and kids every weekend to go cheer on his boyfriend who is on an NFL west coast team.
Yesterday the Muppets, today, Charlie Brown.
And Snoopy. Need to have Snoopy.
Hey, if you look good, I will put you in here whether I like you or not, and I think Anne Hathaway looks good here. Actually almost everyone does today.
I'm sorry Berlin but Anna Faris and her crap film are in town.
Amber Tamblyn was going to be on top, but she was there last week and she would understand why Charlie Brown needed to be there.
Adrien Brody says he is ready to get married. Yeah, and I'm thinking Elsa Pataky is that reason.
Eva Mendes as always looks lovely.
I love Cheryl Hines. To me she is one of the funniest people around.
You know what, as it says in the headline, everyone looks great today.
Love this photo of Isla Fisher.
Random first timer of the day is a Spanish actor named Guillermo Toledo.
So, seeing George Clooney looking like this, would you still do him over John Stamos.
The couple of the day belongs to Gabriel and Halle.
My favorite actor on Gossip Girl. I think he was the best cast person on the show.
Yes, one with her Scientology pal Leah.
And this one is kind of cool even though Leah and Jen are in it. I think this is the first time for Chelsea Handler in the photos.
Can we have two great couples in one day? Jennie and Peter always look great.
Jane and Sigourney go for two out of three in thumb wrestling.
Lilly Allen before the booze. Can't wait for the after photos.
Katharine McPhee looks nice. Not amazing though. Pretty good.
Tina Fey and Peter Dinklage on the set of 30 Rock.
Sheryl Crow looks great.
Nikki Reed has some interesting gossip about to come out.
You have to read the Elle Magazine interview with Nicole, where she calls Tom extraordinary and would marry him all over again.
It’s easy but it’s not hard
Caution right off the top – if you’re the prudey type, some details here are not for you. Click away or hold your peace. Don’t be emailing me with a lewd complaint since you were given ample warning.
Celebrities are surrounded all the time by beautiful women. Especially him. He boasts an impressive track record, minus one infection, and so you would think, for a regular, non famous girl, even a really, really beautiful non famous girl, it would be an insurmountable obstacle to catch his eye…right?
Not so.
But just because it’s easy to attract him doesn’t mean it’s easy to … pleasure him. Turns out his libido doesn’t quite match up to the legend. And his prowess isn’t exactly the smoothest either. SO disappointing.
She and her girlfriends found him at a club in Vegas recently. Danced in front of his booth and eventually caught his eye. He sent over the bodyguard, they were invited to join, and soon everyone ended up in his suite, even though he’s supposed to have a sexy steady. On this night however he was playing single.
First he asked his evening’s target to give him a massage. She obliged. Eventually they ended up alone in his room. Making out turned to sex. He used a condom and went through the conventional motions. Highly unimaginative and even a little… gross?
Apparently our superstar superstud releases the most unpleasant sound effects. Grunts and groans and straight up no rhythm pounding, making it clear that without a cinematographer and a world class director, he isn’t exactly the undercover loverboy we all believed he was.
Like, no moves whatsoever.
Needless to say, his lame technique wasn’t getting him anywhere, so in relief he asked her to fondle his boys instead. By boys I mean balls. A gorgeous, willing girl in his bed, game for anything… and in the end he could only finish in his own hand in front of her.
Too much champagne, I guess. But still… dude… if this is how you stray, you might need to work on your alcohol to erection ratio. This kind of thing is an embarrassment.
Which star was an unusual hit with the ladies? The fella in question was taking phone numbers left, right and centre...
I actually counted the receipt and there were 24 boxes of crackers. Of the 24, there were four of these. Gone within the first two hours. If Nabisco would like to discuss some kind of arrangement where they can feed me these intravenously, then I would be happy to rename the blog to Crazy Days And Nights Brought To You By Chicken In A Biskit.
I figure if I actually write it down, then it will force me to finish writing it. Therefore, on Wednesday there will be a long blind item from classic Hollywood which should blow your mind. Not literally blow it, because that would be messy for your fellow co-workers and think of the cleaning crew. Although they would probably get some overtime and that really isn't a bad thing right now is it? Of course, since your office probably hired a cleaning company who sub-contracted it out to another firm, they are probably using undocumented workers who don't get overtime and if they file any actions, they will be deported, so maybe blowing your mind is not a good thing. Anyway, here is the item for today.
First time ever in the blind items for this intellectual B list actor. I say intellectual because he seems like he has a brain, and he has made a career of films in which a person actually has to think. Kind of like the Parker Posey for actors, but younger. Well, our actor had to take about a six month mandatory break from filming because he could not get insured. Though he has managed to stay out of the headlines, his problems are very Lindsay Lohanish minus the family drama. During his last film, he did so much coke that he had to get his nose repaired. Because of this, before any insurance company would back him, they wanted him to go to rehab which he did for three months. He also has to submit to weekly drug screening as a condition to being insured.
I think it is probably sacrilegious or something like that to not put the Muppets first, especially when they are getting out the vote. We will set aside the fact that the demographic for The Muppets will probably not be able to cast a vote until the 2024 Presidential election, but hey, way to get them started young.
What the hell is Brad Pitt wearing?
"So, I saw her and I said Clint, because I call myself Clint when I'm talking to myself. I said Clint, I could take her from that pansy Brad Pitt."
She looks whacked out of her mind doesn't she? It is like Jennifer Lopez times 10. I love Angelina. I really do, but in these photos and the ones she had in a press conference today, she doesn't look 100%.
I have yet to receive a complaint from anyone regarding the number of times Christopher Meloni has appeared in the photos.
I think he just pretends to like the dog.
Yes, it's Aubrey O'Day. Photo agencies typically package an event by putting the biggest star in the cover photo so that way you know if it is worth your time. For the premiere of Body Of Lies they put Aubrey O'Day first.
Ahead of Leo and Russell
and RFK Jr. and the President of Warner Brothers. Now, I don't know who she slept with to get the top spot, but Aubrey O'Day is thisclose to being gone from our collective consciousness very soon.
Enrique Iglesias - East Rutherford, NJ
Deborah Gibson has finally given up on a music career and is going to marry some Amish dude she met online. I know, I know. When they find out he used a computer and all he could get was Debbie Gibson he will be shunned for sure.
David Alan Grier is now, not only an actor, but a curator. That is pretty high living for a guy who was in a Pauly Shore movie.
Candy Spelling, because hey I show her daughter enough. She looks pretty good huh?
Would someone like to take the time to explain what fashion statement Coldplay is actually shooting for? Some kind of Michael Jackson 80's/Boyz II Men hybrid?
Well I hope they got closer than this on their wedding night.
The looks like twins married couple of the day award goes to Gabriel Macht and Jacinda Barrett.
I believe this is Grace Jones.
Flower Travellin' Band - Tokyo
I must admit that I love Travis, and Fran Healy.
Hello Kelly Lynch.
Hello Laura Dern. Not as much as Kelly, but still. Hello.
So, who would you rather do? John Stamos or George Clooney?
I love Jane Krakowski, but the teeth are becoming larger and larger each time I see her.
Rob Estes should be the one to kill all the kids off on 90210.
If Neil Patrick Harris is somewhere, he will be here the next day.
Molly Sims earning a buck. Come on Molly. Holding a flag?
Meatloaf. Hope he is feeling better after his weekend vertigo attack.
Mr and Mrs. Spock. Yeah, yeah, like they haven't been called that before.
We Are Scientists - Sydney
The Bangles - Perth
Susan Sarandon looks great here. No more dresses or evening gowns for her. Just jeans and a t-shirt.
Jimmy, Sarah, Adam and Adam;s wife who I can never remember. Sorry.
Holy crap it's Adam Ant.
Which TV star is having an affair behind his girlfriend's back? The high-profile man in question is constantly bombarding his new love with raunchy texts...
I had a very long discussion on Sunday about the opening of SNL from Saturday. This was the first week I didn't YouTube it because I wanted to see it in the same frame of reference as everyone else. I thought it was funny, but I didn't think it was outrageously so. Maybe because I had high expectations, or maybe because I knew Queen Latifah was going to be on in advance so the surprise was gone. I don't know. Yes, I thought it was funny, but it wasn't like I can't go out tonight I have to stay at home and watch this show funny. Or, I usually go to bed at 10pm, but I will force myself to stay up until 1130pm funny.
But, it was still way better than the rest of the show, and the line about teenage weddings was hilarious. On October 18th though is a chance for redemption. That is the date when they come back to live episodes, and there is a rumor floating around that Sarah Palin is actually going to be on the show making fun of Tina Fey making fun of her.
That would be worth watching. Maybe even don't go out funny. It isn't like I am running around on a Saturday night anyway. With the exception of last week in Vegas I can usually be found on the futon down in the basement. Without my waterbed, the futon has become my home. This weekend I spent time rediscovering the joys of crackers and all of their lovely flavors. Went down the whole aisle last week just to see what I had not had in awhile or new ones and I ended up with like 25 boxes and bags. Needless to say it was a carbohydrate filled weekend.
Which lady restaurateur has had to flee the country to get away from a stalkerazzi ex-boyfriend? No word on when she's planning to return.
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