Full Frontal Friday

Happy Halloween!

Random Photos

Madonna - Vancouver.

Anne Curry but kind of looks like Sandra Oh.

Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb. How come Kathie didn't wear a costume? Yeah, yeah, like you wouldn't have said the same thing.


How many times do you think Matt Lauer tripped in that thing?

Meredith Viera got the short end of the costume stick.

Alan Jackson-CMT "Giants" Honoring...Alan Jackson

Wow that dress is tight on Beyonce. I mean your whole body must just feel squeezed.

The Dandy Warhols- Sydney

Well it is Halloween so I went for scary.

Brittny Gastineau shows her true self. No, actually she has been very nice to me lately as you will see in a few weeks.

Kris Jenner actually looks good here. I know. Must be that Halloween punch they served at lunch.

Kim Kardashian looks decent, not great, but decent as Wonder Woman. What gets me is she has the wrong color of tights on. It looks like she borrowed them from Reggie Bush's uniform.

Everyone gets happy with a boa around their neck. The Prince actually looks like he may have had a few to smoke.

Richie Rich, Joe Korniewicz, Lydia Hearst - I want to hear your captions for this one.

Snoop Dogg-Sydney

Mariah Carey and her assistant.

Your Turn

Hey, it's Halloween. The one time of the year that my parents actually look normal. This is one of my dad's favorite days of the year. He gets no greater pleasure than in scaring the hell out of elementary school kids who are finally going to front doors by themselves. But, he does make up for it by always giving good candy. You know the brand name stuff. There is none of that dollar store candy at our house. None of that go to the grocery store, spend $10 and get 20 pounds of candy stuff. We go for your Snickers, Milky Way, Reese's. You know, the big boys. I hated going to houses when I was little and having some mom give me a popcorn ball or an apple. Dammit, I wanted candy.

So, today in Your Turn, we have two things for you to respond to. I need to know your favorite Halloween candy, and your most memorable costume. And when I say costume, I am talking about one you wore for Halloween, and not one you wore on your anniversary that says Open Here.

Kate Hudson Finds Another Victim

In the revolving door that is Kate Hudson's love life she must have found something she liked in athletes because she has chosen another one. This time she is dating Baron Davis. Baron, who I think is in business with Cash Warren has been apparently been getting busy with Kate over the past few weeks. According to Star they have been hanging all over each other everytime they go out and always end up back at Baron's place at the end of the night.

Baron currently plays for the LA Clippers and is a childhood friend of Kate. Those are always the best aren't they? You find someone you haven't seen in awhile and the next thing you know the person you were playing doctor with at five is screaming out your name and singing Black Crowes tunes while you do it.

Now that they have been going out for two weeks, Kate will probably introduce Baron to the family and announce their engagement sometime in the next week. If she was so desperate to get married again, I don't know why she didn't stay with Chris Robinson. Oh, that's right, he couldn't stand her.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

AT THE QUANTUM OF SOLACE AFTER PARTY

Which actor had to be tricked into drinking water to sober him up?

Its Thisclose

Two years ago it almost happened, and now next April it really looks like it will happen. I know most of you don't care, but I do. The Smiths are about to play one show and one show only at Coachella. Two years ago they were offered about $6M for one show, and they turned it down. This time though the offer is up to $10M. I don't know where the organizers are going to get that kind of money unless for the rest of the show it is just going to be one big Karaoke fest. That would be cool but the waiting list would be lengthy.

The sticking point in this whole reunion thing has always been Steven Patrick Morrissey but apparently he wouldn't mind one more big taste of the fame. It is not really about the money as in needing the money. It is about the money as in they want a whole bunch for an ego thing. Whatever. I don't really care. I do know that if they play, you can bet my big, fat, butt will be right there. You can come join me if you like, but I must warn you that desert heat and I really don't get along well, so make sure you bring plenty to hydrate me, and I'm not talking about water unless it is an ingredient in whatever else you are giving me.

He Must Be Making A Buck Off It

Larry Birkhead must have figured out a new scheme to make money. He told Life & Style that he was selling Anna Nicole Smith's house and moving to a place over next to Denise Richards and Kim Kardashian. First of all, I'm not sure I could handle living in Anna's house just because it would freak me the hell out. Not that Anna once lived there but that Bobby Trendy decorated the place. I would wake up screaming and seeing feather boas everywhere.

Larry says he is moving because there is no backyard. I think he is moving because he figures he can sell photos of the new house to some magazine. See. Larry gets money for taking care of the baby, but he doesn't get as much for himself as he would probably like. This is why of course he is always exploiting his kid for money and selling photos of themselves to the tabloids. This will be no different. You watch. In a couple of months when they are all settled in and he has convinced the court he needs all this new furniture for the house, some magazine will run a cover story featuring them and the new house and he will pocket enough to live off for the next few months and his next money maker.

90 Days?

In one of the most shocking verdicts I have ever seen, Wynona Judd's ex husband was sentenced to 90 days in jail after he plead guilty to two felony counts of attempted sexual battery against a minor. The minor in question was 13 years old and Dan Roach was 51. All he got was 90 damn days? That's it? And this was in Tennessee. I thought Tennessee would be a state that would frown on that kind of behavior but I guess not.

Yes, he got ten years of probation and if he violates it he will do the whole ten years, but 90 days? People spend more time in jail for bouncing a couple of checks. So, for all the 13 year old girl went through. All the dreams she is going to have for the rest of the life, she can be comforted by the fact that this sex pervert ass got 90 days in jail for ruining her life.

How in the hell does this happen? I'm also pissed at Wynona. She says that she was shocked that her husband would ever do such a thing. I hope she would be, but I don't know where the hell her outrage is. It wasn't evident last year when she was interviewed and said she still wears her wedding ring and was having a tough time letting go. To me that says that she is an idiot and that she has some sever problems she needs to address. What if they had kids? Would she still be having trouble letting go if he had done the same thing to their daughter.

There are very few people I dislike more than Ashley Judd but I bet she had no problems calling this ass exactly what he is. 90 days? If judges are elected in Tennessee, someone needs to vote this judge off the bench.

I'm Sure It Will Still Be A Big Hit

So last week Jermaine Jackson got up and said that the Jackson 5 were reuniting. He said Janet Jackson would be the opening act and that Michael was fully on board. Well, Jermaine must have told Michael Jackson that it was going to be an 18+ crowd because Michael threw Jermaine under a bus yesterday.

"My brothers and sisters have my full love and support, and we've certainly shared many great experiences, but, at this time, I have no plans to record or tour with them. I am now in the studio developing new and exciting projects that I look forward to sharing with my fans in concert soon."

Of course those plans could change if Jermaine could line up some performances at elementary schools or something. Here is a suggestion Michael. As much as you might be excited about all the recording and wonderful projects you have going on, do you really think you will sell more than ten copies of anything you do? I really don't understand what he has against his brothers. It isn't like he is the biggest star on the planet. He is the strangest star on the planet and the only one I know who doesn't need his own Halloween costume, but would it kill him to go out there and help his brothers make a few bucks? Everyone is getting old now. Hell, I think some of them must be getting close to 60. If he goes on tour with them for three months he will never have to worry about them calling him or asking him for anything. You know the only reason they call now is to make sure they are on his Christmas list.

I'll Buy It Baby

I know it happens everyday between actors and their girlfriends, so I guess that makes me a hypocrite in a way, but it is so funny to see Cameron Diaz rushing around to buy a house so she and Paul Sculfor can have a place of their own. I mean what has this guy done really? He doesn't do anything but try and latch onto women who can take care of him. He tried and struck out with Jennifer Aniston who is as stingy with money as anyone I have ever heard about. Apparently Paul either wasn't getting enough gifts or was asking for too many because it ended.

So, with nothing better to do he wanders from party to party until he finds Cameron Diaz. A few false promises and fake I love you's later, she is out looking for houses for them. According to the Daily Express in the UK, Cameron looked at a bunch of places and then brought Paul along to look at two. I mean what does it even matter what he thinks. She is the one buying the place and she is the one who will be selling it when she finally wises up.

Do I wish them the best? Hell yes, I wish them the best. I am a romantic at heart. I think you have to have a sense of optimism when you are living with your parents well past middle age. I mean if you were a negative sort in my position you would probably mope around the basement all night drinking and eating and making a mess of yourself. Umm. Forget that last part and just stick with the romantic.

Can you imagine the conversation they had when looking at it? "I don't know Cameron. I mean my $200 a month is not going to go very far in this place."

Bye Bye Pushing Daisies

I know how many of you enjoy this show, but I'm sad to tell you that after the 13 episodes ordered for this year have been aired, the show will be saying so long. I guess if there was some kind of huge ratings swing then somehow it might be saved, but it is not going to be saved by a letter writing campaign. ABC loves the show but hates the ratings.

Ted C Blind Item

Okay, babes, we're back to you skanky hets this week! I swear, straight folks are getting as kinky as us gays, are we teaching you that well? Apparently so.

Shafterella Shoshstein sure seems to be taking lessons successfully, and has been for some time, who the hell knew? When she busted up with her man not that long ago, everybody was sympathizing with poor S2. How could such a sweet, darling little babe have deserved such treatment from her male-slut partner for all those years? She's too talented, too charming, too damn dazzling to have to have endured such wretchedness, America cried!

Turns out we were all weeping for the wrong partner, perhaps. S.S.'s ex is just now starting to put the truth out there, via a few tanked encounters with his fave bartender. Damn, sure hope this good-lookin' lad doesn't have to become full-blown alcoholic before we find out the full truth of the matter, but jeez, keep on drinkin' there, buddy-boy!

Oh, and Shafty, shame on you, girlfriend. Cannot believe you penis-partied galore all that time, while letting your less-designing other half take the tabloid fall. Actually, I can. They don't pay ya the big bucks for nothin'.

Today's Blind Items

I guess this actor is B list, because he was the lead in a popcorn flick. It did not do as well as expected. He really is more of a name than a great actor. When asked about his most recent girlfriend and how they met, our actor came up with about five different stories leading most to speculate he purchased her for the evening. Not so. The reason he is shy about where she came from is she spent six months stalking him. One day he was lonely and invited her in, and now they are inseparable. This won't end well.

Random Photos Part One

Estelle Reiner - RIP
I don't think AnnaLynne McCord is all that or anything, but I do hope the fine people at Blackberry or Verizon will take it upon their kind souls to go ahead and send me a new Storm free of charge. Yeah, yeah, I'm whoring myself out, but I want that phone. I don't ask for a lot and I really don't shamelessly plug things except for friends, but I want that phone and I'm not going to apologize for it.

Beyonce in Japan waving to an imaginary crowd. She thinks they should be there so they are. It works on the same principle as she thinks we should care about her career. But, we don't so there is a flaw in her theory.

Holy crap Batman, Bai Ling is wearing clothes.

When I saw this photo I was reminded of the line from Sixteen Candles where the grandmother says something like, "Oh, look. Samantha got her boobies." And then she gave them a squeeze.

Corey Feldman looks like he is already preparing for that Jackson 5 reunion tour for next year with Janet opening. It is going to be named "We Need Money Your 2009"

It's Catherine Tate and Zachary Quinto. Dr. Who won some award, but honestly was too lazy to check to see what it was.

DJ AM back at work. I'm glad.

Is it sacrilege for me to say that to me Danni Minogue is my choice in the family for who I would rather date? I just think she would be more fun.

Wow. Fergie is going to star in the new FOX show, "When Chemical Peels Go Bad."

Only Grace Jones would wear Hammer pants. Oh, you thought I would make fun of the fur or the veil?

My favorite photo of the day by far. Gwen Stefani and the baby look gorgeous. And she didn't sell them. Nice.

I owe so many good nights to this man right here. Some really awful mornings, but some really good nights. This is John Paul DeJoria. He is the owner of Patron Spirits and my hero. I may cry here. Hang on.

Probably the best photo of Kristen Stewart I have seen.

Yeah, it's Kate Walsh. Next. OK, I do like the dress. Compliment made. Next please.

Notice the subtlety of the middle finger Lily Allen displays.

Leona Lewis - London

Macy Gray doesn't have a boyfriend does she? Wow, I would not want to get into an argument with her.

I know. They made the Michael Jackson wax figurine a tranny.

I am going to leave it up to you to decide if Nicollete Sheridan looks good here. I am on the fence about it.

Someone who always looks good is Olga Kureyenko.

"Ahh. I wish we still were allowed to punish people by hanging them. Unfortunately we have laws now, so..."

How many times a day do you think Dr. Phil's wife tells him to stfu?

That must have been an interesting conversation. And yes, that is the mother of the baby.

"So, I told Clay it could be a hornet and a tick that are doing it. It don't matter unless the sun comes out."

So, if I were to pick two people to go get drunk with, I've decided that it would be Prince William and Harry.

Robert Pattinson looks much better than yesterday.

But if you want that Twilight scare you out of your mind look, here you do.

Simon Cowell and Andrew Lloyd Webber. Nice combination.

So, what do you think the purpose of this party was? Any guesses? To sell eye wear. Yep. Makes sense.

Umm. A bodyguard who can't catch his breath after two steps is not really going to do you much good.

Slipknot - Perth

Yeah, that is Whitney Port and this is on the set of The City. Yes, I said set. Oh? It's reality I forgot.

It's The Stig. I love Top Gear.

Russell Brand A Disappointment In Bed

I don't know if you have been keeping up with the whole Russell Brand quitting his BBC show or Jonathon Ross getting suspended from the BBC but it has been a fairly amusing couple of days. I don't want to get into all the details but basically Russell and Jonathon called up Georgina Baillie's grandfather who is the actor Andrew Sachs and kept telling him that Russell had slept with Georgina.

Well in the first day after this all came out Georgina was distraught and said it sucked and she felt sorry for her grandfather. Good. Then she should have stopped talking about it. But nooooo. Instead, each day she gives two or three other interviews to tabloids and goes into greater details and has more of her fetish photographs released which must make Andrew a really proud grandfather.

Her interviews for the tabloids today though were the best. She said she thinks she slept with Russell three times including the first date. But, she also said that "I'm not going to go into detail about what happened there although I'm obviously no shrinking violet. I will only say he's a disappointment in the bedroom considering he has had so much practice."

So, Russell you had to quit your job and you are being called a disappointment in bed. That sucks. I have been called a disappointment in bed lots of times, but never publicly. Oh sure there was the time when ex-wife number three made the announcement at Thanksgiving dinner in front of the family, but hey, I have been a disappointment to them in everything else, so finding out I lasted 5 seconds was not going to be high up on their list of my failings.

My question is that if he was so bad in bed, why did she sleep with him twice more at least and want to keep seeing him?

Jennifer Aniston Is Really Stipud

I don't actually think Jennifer Aniston is stupid. I think she is annoying as all hell, but I don't think she is stupid. I wouldn't want to hang out with her, but I don't think she's stupid. I don't think she is all that great looking, but I don't think she's stupid. I think she needs to shower more often, but I don't think she's stupid. But what I think is beside the point. John Mayer thinks Jennifer Aniston is as dumb as a box of rocks at least according to Pink. Apparently Pink and John Mayer got into some kind of fight. Pink likes real guys and the douche bagginess of John Mayer did not rub her the right way.

John told her that he only sleeps with really stupid women. According to The Sun, Pink said something along the lines of they would have to be really stupid to want to. Now, can we all assume that John and Jen have slept together? Can we assume that John and Jessica Simpson slept together? So, if you can walk and talk at the same time, John Mayer is not interested in you at all. But, if you like to sit around and talk about nothing all day, then here comes John.

That's Why Yahoo Is Losing Market Share

Do you remember a few months ago when I posted about Courtenay Semel getting in a little trouble at a Vegas nightclub? Well apparently the security guard who had to deal with Courtenay has decided to sue. Hell, I would sue to. I mean this is the daughter of Yahoo's founder. The security guard didn't specify any damages but I'm guessing $50,000 would probably make him go away. Hell, Terry Semel probably spends that much on breakfast. You don't think so? You don't think Terry has tried one of those caviar breakfast things they are always showing on the news? I bet he has.

Anyway, Courtenay was drunk off her ass. I would be too if I had to go home and pretend to like having sex with Tila Tequila. Apparently Courtenay getting drunk equals fist to the face of the security guard. The guard says he has been humiliated. Hell yes he was. You let some woman who weighs 100 pounds kick your ass. You are a bouncer at a nightclub in Vegas, and you let some tiny thing kick your butt. You should be humiliated. He is also anxious about receiving harassing comments from his friends. He should be. Again, you are a bouncer at a huge Vegas club and you got your clock cleaned by a 100 pound drunk girl.

Oh, and what did Courtenay say to the security guard? Do you even know who I am, f**king idiot?...Google me, you dumb f**k."

See, when the daughter of a Yahoo founder is hawking Google it is no wonder that no one uses the Yahoo search engine anymore. If anyone on the planet should be telling people to use the Yahoo search engine it should be the woman who stands to inherit lots more money if it does well.

They Skipped?

I have been avoiding posting anything about Carrie Underwood and the guy she claims she is dating now. He was on The Bachelor. I know, I know but he hosts The Doctors too. Yeah, that guy, Travis Stork. What is he like 50? I know, he is in his 30's. Whatever. It really doesn't matter. It isn't like there is this long line of people waiting patiently to date Carrie Underwood. Hell, even the stalkers leave her alone. The stalkers like to be the mean ones in the relationship.

So, apparently Carrie and Travis hereinafter referred to as Understork which is not to be confused with Underdog, because that is someone you actually cared about. Anyway, the couple was eating dinner in Philadelphia and were joined by another couple who couldn't gracefully exit when they saw who they were to be dining with. You know, I'm trashing Carrie here, but do I still owe her one for trashing Jessica Simpson? No, no, I think I said something nice about Carrie a few months ago in a photo or something, so we can continue. Where was I?

Oh yes, so the four had dinner and Carrie referred to Travis as her boyfriend all night. Umm, who was she saying this to?

Waiter: Can I clear that for you?

Carrie: Yes, and would you clear my boyfriend's plate as well.

You see? Kind of awkward. And to put the capper on this ridiculous story. When Carrie and Travis departed the restaurant, the couple skipped down the sidewalk. They skipped? First of all I don't see some 36 year old doctor skipping unless Carrie offered him something if you know what I mean. And Carrie Underwood skipping? That would presume she was a happy go-lucky person, and I don't see that. But you know what? I think the story came from Kneepads and in their mind every couple skips after holding hands at dinner and then they go back to the hotel and push twin beds together to make one.

It's The Call Of The Chicken Wings

John Daly was taken to jail over the weekend and I don't think anyone noticed. I don't know how many of you know who John Daly is, but he is a world class drunk and a world class golfer who basically let the drinking win out. Oh, and the gambling. Yeah, he is such a gambler that he won $700,000 in a tournament once and within 8 hours had flown to Vegas and blown it all plus another few hundred thousand. He has been married four times, with one of those wives spending time in federal prison with her dad for some kind of fraud thing. Anyway, I thought it was kind of sad that he was picked up by the cops in North Carolina and I didn't even see anything on ESPN.

John wasn't actually arrested. He was just escorted to the drunk tank to sleep it off. Apparently John was on his tour bus and he, and everyone else on board decided that stopping at Hooters would be a great idea. Well after eating 100 chicken wings and drinking six pitchers of beer all by himself, people did not want John back on the bus. Not sure why since it was his bus. Possibly a gas problem? Who knows. So, he did what anyone would do after eating and drinking that much. He fell asleep in the parking lot. For some reason this is against the law in North Carolina. I guess he was blocking parking spaces or something. Maybe snoring too loud? Anyway, the cops took him to jail. One of John's friends who sounds like a real winner decided to call the police a few choice words and so he actually was arrested. Real winner in all of this? Hooters. All the free publicity plus they are a sponsor of John Daly. They must be proud.

Thank Goodness The Sheep Were Locked Up

I'm so tired of meth arrests and DUI's and the normal Hollywood stuff, so thank goodness for Jack Pullman. Jack, who is the fine looking redneck in the photo above is the son of Bill Pullman. As you can tell from the photo above, Jack was arrested. What pray tell was Jack arrested for? How about underage drinking and possession of moonshine? I know, I know. I love it. I think the only reason they got hauled off to jail is apparently Jack was not too keen on the officer who confronted him about drinking and it is alleged that Jack resisted the officer and assaulted him.

Now, Jack doesn't look like he was doing much of the assaulting looking at the photo, but I wouldn't be surprised if he took a swing or two. Moonshine does that to you. Moonshine is some fabulous stuff. If you have never tried any, you can try and make your own, but it won't taste the same. You have to get it from the mountains of Appalachia. And the bonus is that if you don't like the taste it makes for one hell of a charcoal starter.

Apparently Bill Pullman could not be reached for comment. No doubt he was glued to the television because Independence Day was on. You need to move past it Bill. You will have another hit.

John Edwards Wants You To Know He Is Still An Ass

It is tough to comprehends the level of assitudeness that John Edwards is reaching. I don't think there has ever been anything quite approaching it. Sure, Balthazar Getty came close, but his wife wasn't dying of cancer. True, he chose Sienna Miller, which makes it close, but I think John Edwards is the clear winner of the a-hole of the year award. I know there are still a couple of months in the year remaining for someone to do something spectacular, but I just don't see someone catching him.

The Washington Post was covering a speech that Elizabeth Edwards gave Monday night and she was not wearing her wedding ring for the first time ever that anyone could remember. You would think John would have been the best husband in the whole world after all the recent revelations. Nope. Guess again. Instead of spending time with the woman he has been with forever he has instead been spending a great deal of time with Rielle Hunter and her child. His child? I don't know. Guess if he grows up with a twang and a penchant for cheating we will know it is his.

So, not only do you abandon your terminally ill wife, but you go back to the woman that caused all the trouble in the first place? You would rather hang out with Rielle than your dying wife? Does John Edwards even have anyone who wants to be with him? I mean friends? Would you be his friend? I think he is disgusting and to turn your back on your family to be with someone as awful as Rielle Hunter automatically earns you the a-hole of the year.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Who has shaken and stirred more girls than Bond, to the annoyance of his missus?

Today's Blind Items

What network drama is in danger of shutting down production because its lead has come down with the "flu"? The flu is actually a really bad drug habit that needs attention now. Producers and writers have been scrambling for the past week to figure out a way to write the character out of the next few episodes so the actor/actress can get help.

Random Photos Part One

Quantum of Solace has its premiere and you get the top spot. I should say its Royal Premiere. There will be more photos tomorrow of the premiere. These are from tonight in London and so they are still coming in. Hopefully there will be ones of Daniel Craig and Satsuki Mitchell where they don't look like they are made of wax.
This one is much better even if it is from the side. OK, had your Daniel Craig fix?

AC/DC - Philadelphia

This is Anne Hathaway from this month's edition of Vogue. Can't decide if she is trying to look sexy or like a man or a 30's movie star. I do like it though. It has attitude.

Two things. First, there are about 20 photos where David Beckham is staring. I'm glad he stares. Shows he's human. Second, the Lakers cheerleaders have gone way downhill.

It must be hard to coordinate that windswept look but Emile Hirsch and Diego Luna managed to do so.

So, I read today that to stay beautiful Eva Mendes hangs upside down for hours on end. I'm not really sure how that makes you more beautiful, but I guess if you have time to kill, you could give it a shot. This is Eva last night at the same event Jessica Simpson was complaining about.

Gavin Newsom, the San Francisco mayor and his wife Jennifer. I think it is Jennifer. I had her in the photos a couple of weeks ago and got it right, so if I got it wrong this time, I'm sorry.

The lovely Dame Judi Dench.

James Franco looks much better than yesterday. At least here he has his eyes open. Must be excited about watching himself kiss Sean Penn.

This is the best I have seen Jordin Sparks look in a long time. Yes, I said she looked nice so all of you American Idol people who love e-mailing me and calling me nasty names when I say something bad about your Idol hero can back off. Jordin is now calling herself a singer/actress. Does she even have a record label anymore? She won the show right? Now you can e-mail.

So, Jack White uses makeup. I get that. But, I think that is Karen's actual color and it is more pale than Jack. What is the over under on the last time Karen Elson saw the sun?

Keane - Rotterdam

Yeah, I know. I don't think there is a product that Katie Price won't sell. She literally could have her own shopping channel at this point. I think she is selling sex toys here. No? Geranimals for adults? Actually I think it is electric hair care products that can be converted to sex toys. Just make sure they are turned off first. Curling irons can leave a nasty burn, or a fake hickey if you are trying to impress your friends by making them think you have a girlfriend. Not that I would know anything about that.

I know Katy Perry is trying to be cool by doing the Freddie Mercury costume, but she really just looks like a Beastie Boys video.

So, Melrose Place is coming back. No doubt we will only get the good people for a few minutes each week. So, do you prefer cast photo 1?

Or cast photo 2?

"Camilla. That Jamaican s**t is still working. I think I see a deer walking behind me."

I think Pink looks really good here.

Don't even want to look at each other. I feel for her. He doesn't give a crap but I feel for her. Can't wait until the kids are older, she finally moves out and then writes a tell-all.

Salon Du Chocolat. So, tell me what parts are actually chocolate. Balloons? The little leaf things? I know there is chocolate.

This almost made the top spot. When Samuel L Jackson changes his hat style after ten years and changes his glasses so he can look more like Randy Jackson, then that is top spot worthy.

"So girlfriend, stop using your credit cards to buy food. I never use my credit cards to buy food."

"But Suze you are a millionaire."

"Girlfriend that is no excuse."

Shiva Rose. Still my favorite name. Seriously, if I ever have a child I am going to lobby for that name. I will be sneaky about it though saying my first choice is this or this and when she is in labor and screaming and yelling at me for getting her pregnant, I would say, "what do you think about Shiva Rose?" See, I think that would work.

The entire Dempsey clan. Well minus the kids. And the wife is not really a Dempsey by blood so, forget the whole family thing.

Tom Hanks & Billy Crystal - San Francisco

Casey Affleck & Sean Penn - San Francisco

Jack Nicholson was at the same Paul Newman charity event, but I don't know whether he was performing or not. He looks good though.

TR Knight and Mark Cornelsen. Mark seems happy to be there doesn't he?

"Amy's Fine"

Apparently Amy Winehouse's spokespeople live in a world of fantasy. Not the good kind of fantasy like where FW decides to go for it and get it on with me on the futon in the basement, but a fantasy where they seem to think that Amy Winehouse is in top form and in prime physical health. Amy is not fine and seems to be on the edge of death. Instead of focusing on her health they like to spin some kind of nonsensical thing about how Amy is doing great and her record is still selling and that she is going to be out of bed and feeling 100% by tomorrow and ready to take on the world.

If she is so fine how come we never see her hanging out anymore at the store she always goes to. If she is so fine how come we haven't seen her stumbling down the street drugged out of her mind? She isn't fine and I think they should be focusing more on concerns over her well being rather than analyzing record sales and trying to convince the world she is just suffering from a cold or something. It honestly isn't any of our business what is wrong with her, and I would have much preferred a statement that says something to that effect rather than spinning something to keep themselves employed.

When her spokesperson was asked about Amy's health, this was the statement The Daily Star got in return. "The last album's still selling. She's in and out of the studio working but the record company hasn't seen the final result yet. Amy's fine."

Uh huh.

He Has To Be Joking

Guess who wants be Kanye West's mentor when it comes to public perception? How about 50 Cent. Yep. 50 Cent says that Kanye should look to 50 as a mentor and that 50 Cent can show him how to deal with the public and intrusive press. And take a look at this dig at Kanye from the NY Daily News.

"You'll see artists like Kanye West, he recently had a little incident in the airport. After he's been successful for a longer period, he'll let that frustration go without incident. I've had enough time to get used to the fact that people might want to take my picture when I don't want it taken, but I accept it."

Did I miss something here? So, is 50 Cent saying he is a bigger star than Kanye? I think 50 Cent is more used to having cameras shoved in his face because of the way he handles his personal life. I mean if he is passing out advice I'm sure we would all love to know how to deal with ex-wives and kids and houses burning down and evicting your kid and making him homeless. I mean these are all good things to know and I'm sure Kanye will be grateful for the lessons that 50 can pass on.

The thing about is, 50 Cent was being serious. He didn't say this while he was laughing. He is dead serious that he thinks he is a much bigger star than Kanye and that Kanye should look to him for advice. Wow. He needs someone to tell him no in his life sometime.

Hewlett Packard Supports Child Molesters

You really wouldn't think that a computer company would be in a gossip website. Well you would also think that a computer company would have more brains than to use a Gary Glitter song as the basis for an entire ad campaign. While Gary Glitter sits at home in the UK dodging death threats, Hewlett Packard has paid him almost $200,000 to use his song Do You Want To Touch Me as the basis of their ad campaign.

Sure, they were sneaky about it by using Joan Jett's cover version from the 80's, but Joan really doesn't get much money from it and I'm sure she's pissed to be associated with this whole thing going on. The money goes to the writer, who is Gary Glitter.

Have you ever read the lyrics of the song?

'Every girl an boy. Needs a little joy. All you do is sit an stare.
'Beggin on my knees. Baby, wont you please. Run your fingers through my hair.'

Yeah, I bet he was humming that when he was molesting all of those kids over in Asia. Meanwhile the commercial shows a bunch of kids using the computer.

Why in the hell would HP choose a song which improves the life of a child molester? There are hundreds of thousands of songs in the world they could have chosen and they choose one that is going to put $200,000 in a molester's pocket.

It is sick and disgusting and HP should apologize, take down the ads, give a whole bunch of money to several organizations dealing with abused children and then have to watch a screening of Major Movie Star in Russian.

No One Cares About Her Perfume

Do you remember about six months ago there was a big hullabaloo about Jennifer Lopez having a reality show on TLC? She was all excited about it and the press were frothing at the mouth to say what a wonderful amazing thing it would be and all the birds started singing and people randomly hugged in the streets. It was joy. It was also a bunch of crap. When you read what the show was going to be about, it basically was going to be about the launch of some perfume Jennifer was trying to sell and it was going to follow her around. Then the next day it was going to be about the process but Jennifer was going to narrate and then the next day it was going to be a shot of Jennifer. Anyway what the announced plan was and what it was a few days later were not the same thing. Now, it doesn't even exist.

Apparently TLC thought one thing, Jennifer thought another and so now no series. It still might be a special, but don't count on it. So, it was a real shock today when I read that NBC actually gave money to Jennifer for a development deal. She has had these before and they have all just been money down the drain. If you are an executive at a network you are better off just picking four random words out of the dictionary and making a show out of that then you are giving money to her. If you want to see it sucked down a bottomless pit of superficialness and greed though she is the one you want to deal with.

Good luck with that NBC. Let me know when she gets something on the air.

Give Us Your Money And Go

Have you ever bought an autograph of a celebrity off eBay? You know they might not be real buy you take your chances. One good thing though is you are almost always guaranteed a thank you from the seller because they don't want you to say anything bad about them because then no one else will buy anything from them, and then they won't have a business and they will be out on the streets and begging for food.

So, apparently though the Olsen twins have not quite learned that lesson yet. In addition, they seem to have forgotten one thing. The only reason they are where they are is because of fans, some good writers on Full House, a lucky time slot, and smart parents. Notice that fans is first. Without fans they would have much less money. Think about all those stupid detective books and films they had and their kids clothing lines and without fans they have nothing.

Well yesterday when they were signing books in New York, here was a list of rules that the NY Post acquired.

1. No speaking to the Olsens (how about making snide comments to yourself)

2. The Olsens will not speak to you (not missing much)

3. The Olsens will not be reading (I think only one can)

4. They will not answer questions. (tough when you are not speaking)

5. Not sign anything other than their book (common but still jerkish. I mean you have been selling people crap for 20 years.)

6. One book per person (like anyone is going to want two of the f**kers. But please, like they wouldn't sell their souls for another $32.

7. No photography allowed (because that would encourage fans to think the Olsens cared about them)

So, if you were going to devise a way to piss off your fans as completely and thoroughly as possible, this would be a great way to start. All this is saying is give us your damn money and get the hell out. Do you get any other kind of reaction when you see those rules? It was probably just people shuffling in line quietly, handing a book to the Olsens and having them sign it. Since you couldn't talk I guess it was just a signature. I'm surprised the Olsens just didn't have a rubber stamp with their signature that says, "you met us. now leave."

Was Ken Paves Going To Watch?

Here is the thing I don't get about Jessica Simpson. I mean she is an international box office superstar, well at least in one country, and she wants us to think she is intelligent and a great business person and a singer and a great girlfriend but then when you actually read what she is saying, you realize it makes no sense.

Kneepads really opened wide last night and talked about how Jessica was late getting to some birthday celebration in New York because of some really bad storms when she left Nashville. I think the operative word there is Nashville. She was in Nashville with Ken Paves and got delayed in her flight to New York. Fine. It happens. I just want to make sure we knew where she was scheduled to be months in advance, who she was with and what city she was flying from.

Now, when she got to New York, she told the crowd she wished she was God so she could control the weather. If she was God, this world would be one crazy place. Anyway, the point of the post is that she told Kneepads that Tony Romo was really hoping she wouldn't be able to fly from Nashville because he had a very romantic date planned for them.

"Tony was just praying [that I wouldn't make it out]," Simpson admitted. "He had planned a really romantic date in case I didn't make it [to New York] tonight."

And while a date night was tempting, "I decided to come," she continued. "I'm like, 'Honey, I have to go.' "

Well considering that Tony was in Dallas all day yesterday and Jessica was in Nashville I'm guessing this date involved a couple of webcams and a trip to the Hustler store. I guess that is romantic in a sense, but it seems kind of awkward to me to have some kind of sex like that knowing that Ken Paves is doing Jessica's hair at the same time and making a running commentary of how Tony is performing. Plus, didn't he hurt his pinky? Isn't he out of football for a few more weeks? Should he be risking re injury by proving he can get excited by Jessica Simpson.

Joaquin Phoenix Is So Full Of Crap

Everyone today is buzzing about Joaquin Phoenix and how he is giving up acting and never going to be in another movie. On his message boards people are crying. Please. You don't really believe him do you? Oh, I'm sure he is going to be like one of the other million actors out there who think they can make a living as a signer and thus want that rock star lifestyle and think they are going to be huge as singers. Ummm. Yeah. In about a year when Joaquin realizes that no one is buying his music except for the people on his message boards and people who are so drunk they think it is the Walk The Line soundtrack.

Actors like anyone else get used to having someone fawn over them and give them lots of attention. After a year away from that attention and playing some dive bar in front of 200 people who are trying to focus on the televisions instead of the band, Joaquin will say f**k it, and give us some crap excuse why he came back to acting. I imagine it will be something like he had this really close friend who showed him this script and he had to come back and do it for the friend. Eventually he will fade away from the music and only go back in middle age when he is trying to recapture his youth and his hair.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which British female singer has such a bad BO problem, her poor entourage are forced to restrict their breathing to avoid inhaling her sweaty fumes?

Today's Blind Items

This female tweener star may want to head on over to her doctor. Why do you ask? Well her tweener boyfriend picked up the gift that Paris made popular. And here we thought they were monogamous.

Random Photos Part One

Ryan Gosling. Top spot? Who is going to say no? Looks good here except for the bandage. Any volunteers to change it?

Wow. That is a first. Both twins looking normal. This should have been the top spot. No? Going with Gosling still? Ok.

I know many of you like Ben Barnes, but I just don't get the attraction. Of course I wasn't a fan of fat Elvis either so what do I know?

Benicio del Toro wants that Saturday Night Fever remake to happen I guess.

Bonnie Hunt. I love you and am worried your show is going to an early death and I hate for that to happen.

Another almost top spot. Really, really thought about putting Bonnie Raitt on top. Probably my second choice today.

Julia Roberts doesn't look like she ages and now Bruce Willis looks old enough to be her dad.

Been a long time since Christian Bale was in the photos.

Wow. Colin Farrell does Alexis Arquette in Wedding Singer.

DB Sweeney. He was kind of like the Monkees to Charlie Sheen's Beatles back in the 80's. Yeah, that was a bad analogy. Don't think we should ever use Beatles and Charlie Sheen in the same sentence. Beetles maybe, but not Beatles.

"You don't date much do you?"

One of my favorite photos of the day.

The Dandy Warhols - Sydney

Too much Josh Brolin lately but don't remember seeing Diane Lane in glasses before so posted it.

It isn't like Jessica Biel looks bad, she just doesn't look comfortable ever.

James Franco always looks comfortable. I think he just gets the pot injected directly into his bloodstream at this point.

Yeah, like Ross McCall had anything better to do. If it were not for Jennifer Love Hewitt he would have been home watching Paris and her BFF show.

Easy Rider remake? Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck. I well let you speculate on whether Joaquin is even close to sober here.

Or Robert Pattinson. He is one scary guy.

"So, after I saved the world, I decided to have a film festival and make all the decisions because I am the best actor ever. Sure, I haven't had a hit in 30 years, but the 70 year old ladies still love me."

Suzanne Shaw joins the list of celebrities who should have just said no. I know the money sounds good, but have some pride.

Or do what Thom Filicia did and have some cotton candy. You just feel your teeth rotting when you bite that stuff.

Tom Hanks apparently was going to for a bike ride after?

Taylor Swift & Joe Elliott - Nashville

The boys from Take That. Although I guess they would be men now and not boys.

Would you like some Viggo? Gosling on one end and Viggo on the other.

Is There Nudity In The Foreign Version?

Remember that Jessica Simpson movie flop? No, not that one. No, not that one either. Umm, yeah. Not that one either. Yes, that one. Major Movie Star. The one that had the one night showing in Texas for Jessica and the people she paid to be there. Anyway, that film opened in Russia last weekend at #1. When it opened at #1 it dropped I Know Who Killed Me down to #2 thus ending the 65 week reign of that film in the top spot.

The movie next opens in Bulgaria where it is expected to dethrone Glitter from its five year hold on the top spot.

Thanks Mooshki.

Lindsay Doesn't Like Working Hard

Why the hell not? I can always take another shot at Lindsay Lohan. It is not just her but any actor or actress that I hear talk about their 13 hour days on set and how it is exhausting. Umm, yeah, why don;t you have that same conversation with the guy who has been cleaning out your trailers for the past 13 hours for $8 an hour while you make approximately $8 a second for repeating some lines.

Kneepads interviewed Dina Lohan while she was at some beauty convention where she was stocking up on supplies. OK, you got me. It was a pet show, but she might have still found something she could use. I mean have you seen her hair? I think a dog brush might work wonders. Oh, and she probably got some of that horse shampoo that Jennifer Aniston convinced the world she used so now they sell it at Target while she gets a piece.

So, Dina said she didn't know where all the Lindsay stories about Ugly Betty came from and that Lindsay and America get along great and that Lindsay is an angel and blah, blah, blah. What is she going to say? That everyone hated Lindsay? Please. This is her meal ticket we are talking about. What she did say was this when referring to the show. "It was long hours and when you're on a movie set it's a lot different. She's not used to television, but it was fun."

Umm, so let me get this straight. First it seems like she is taking a dig at television stars. Last I checked, Lindsay was in no position to be taking a dig at anyone, especially someone with a J-O-B. Second of all, yes, wow, Lindsay was expected to work for her $50,000 a week. Forgive me if I don't start crying and worrying about her. Apparently Lindsay is used to movie sets where she has to work five minutes a day and can spend the rest of the day pretending to the world she is a lesbian and figuring out a schedule to keep guys shuttling in one after the other without anyone knowing. So, Lindsay hated it all, but it was fun. She threw that in there so Lindsay wouldn't look completely self absorbed. Looks like there won't be any television in Lindsay's future. Or films. Hmm. Fluffer girl?

I Hate When I Miss Something

I read and I read, but apparently my job is keeping me from reading enough. Where the hell have I been that I missed Katie Jane Evans committing suicide this month. Katie was married to Danny Huston who is the daughter of Angelica and used to be married to Virginia Madsen. Katie jumped off her roof during the divorce proceedings leaving behind her five year old child.

According to the NY Daily News today this house was not a place where I would want any child to grow up. Katie was allegedly bi-polar but hid it from her husband the entire time they were married. She spent much of the recent period before the divorce in Dr. Drew's rehab clinic. Why you ask? Well she took 48 Tylenol PM's while staying out at Angelica's ranch.

Oh, and lest you think Danny is the innocent here, he has always been a real piece of work, but allegedly enjoyed taking pills himself. Now, most parents if they were going to pop pills or have some kind of pill thing would leave them in their prescription bottle or in a medicine cabinet. I mean they do have a five year old child. Well, according to testimony at the divorce trial, a producer testified, "I found a small, hand-painted ceramic-covered dish containing pills. This dish was sitting on the edge of the desk, easily within reach of a child ... I flushed [the pills] down the toilet."

Umm. By the way, the dish was made by the five year old son. I know, I know. "Look what daddy did with my present. Oh, he put candy in there. I will just have six or seven."

I'm sure that kid will turn out fine. Might as well just have Redmond O'Neal come over now and start babysitting him.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which couple are hiding a rather unorthodox sex secret? Both prefer the same sex and use their "showmance" purely to rake in lucrative advertising deals...

Matt Lauer Roast - Update

So, on Friday I talked about how at the roast of Today Show host Matt Lauer, Tom Cruise basically sucked it and that Matt Lauer actually got off the best line. Well on Monday, NBC posted some clips from the roast. At the beginning and towards the end you can see some of the worst acting you have ever seen in your life courtesy of Tom Cruise. Someone must have written the jokes for him because he is reading and reacting at the same time. It is horrible. Also, NBC really wussed out because they didn't show the Matt Lauer line. I mean judging from these highlights there was not much to laugh about at the roast. I'm not sure that doing a roast at lunch is the best time to do one.

So, if you have 3:38 of your life you never want back, take a look.

"It's Completely Foreign"

Man oh man, it is like Christmas when Jessica Biel opens her mouth. OK, well maybe not Christmas. I was actually hoping this would be the best Christmas ever. Instead I think I'm just going o spend it with the boys Jack and Jose. You have never had egg nog until you mix some Jack and Jose in it. Talk about festive. Those two boys sure can party.

Anyway, Jessica gave an interview to Marie Claire. Not here in the US though. Nope she gave it to the UK version. She thinks they are more intelligent. Yeah, that should be a Jessica Biel criteria. Jessica was asked about marriage and babies and all of that stuff.

"I tell you, I have so many friends having babies and getting married, and they just want to put me where they are so we can go to nursery together and stuff. I'm like, 'Noooooo!' I'm resisting. I kind of go back and forth about marriage and kids. I feel like, if it's an organic way for me and the right time in my life, then, yeah. If it's right, it'll be right -- but, at this moment, that seems completely foreign."

Well sure it sounds foreign because it involves a peen. What the f**k does an organic way? Like if they somehow figure out a way for another woman to be able to conceive with another woman with sperm or something? How is marriage organic? And this is when she was sober. I think. Can you imagine getting her stoned? I don't think she would have one coherent sentence. Not that this really comes close. I mean is she holding out for some type of imagined career? Why is she resisting? Oh yeah, because it would be a marriage to Justin Timberlake.

Mindy McCready's Soulmate

Wow. I never thought I would say it but I think I found the perfect man for Mindy McCready. You all know Mindy don't you? The oft pregnant, oft arrested drug abuser and felon who used be a popular country singer and who can only make money now by selling stories to the Enquirer. Yeah her. Anyway, I can just see and Lyfe Jennings, another singer doing one of those e-harmony commercials in the near future. By the way, I have no interest in e-harmony and if I did I would tell them to stop airing those commercials. Damn they are annoying. There was one recently where the guy said that the first few times he did the service this woman didn't come up. Apparently though he wasn't getting laid enough with the information he provided so changed a few things up and the next thing you know he found his match. Uh huh. They are married now and presumably she fulfills whatever fetish the others were not.

So, Lyfe got into a little tiff with the ex. Her name is Joy Bounds. I know, I know, but I promise she isn't a porn star. They have two kids together and to show them what a great dad he is, he decided to go ahead and burn all her clothes and shoes and had her electricity shut off. Clothes sure, but I think the shoes is bit much.

He has allegedly also threatened her by phone, text and had some guy drag a banner behind an airplane and fly it past her house. No, not really, but to me that is a stalking A list move right there. That way the whole county can know what an ass you are. Why limit it to your immediate neighbors who are probably sick of red and blue flashing lights in their windows every night at 2am when he comes home drunk and they start arguing.

Apparently the judge agreed he should stay away from the wife and kids. Not that this wasn't good enough, but the shootout he got into with the cops last week probably had a little something to do with it as well. Damn I smell some rehab and a People magazine cover story.

I Know How She Feels

Over the course of my six marriages I have dealt with a variety of in-laws. They have ranged from the "he's just perfect," to "Why would you do this? We didn't beat you," style. So, in a recent interview Lisa Kudrow complained about her in-laws, I knew exactly what she meant.

"I feel like they tolerate me," she explained. "Like when you're burdened with something unpleasant and you cope with it."

Nice. That must make for some great holiday times. Add to this the fact her in-laws are French and don't speak much English and you probably have lots of family dinners that discuss things like weather. Actually weather would probably be too big of a challenge for non-speakers of a language, but I sure bet she knows how to ask for a bottle of wine. Or two or enough to get her into that kind of sleep that is the sleep of I don't want to deal with family. Now, in my house that goes on every night and we are actually related. Well, not my parents, I mean I don't think they are related although it would explain a whole lot if they were.

Well if I were her in-laws I would be super nice to her. I mean this is a woman who would probably buy them some great presents. It is not like thy have to kiss ass a lot. How often do they see each other? As it stands right now, for every holiday they are probably given a box set of Friends on DVD.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which teenage drama queen has been so demanding that her dreamy boyfriend has unofficially jumped ship? He’s now secretly smooching one of her gal pals.

Tough Day Today

It is tough to do snark sometimes. Today is one of those days. I know all of you are thinking about Jennifer Hudson's nephew and family as am I. Plus, there are some other things going on that just make snark a little tough. Tomorrow, I will be back and ready to go with more, but for today, I need a break.

Michael Lohan Must Need Some Cash

I'm always willing to post a Michael Lohan story, especially since it gives me an excuse to post the photo of him in his Right Said Fred wardrobe. Apparently despite his best efforts, Lindsay Lohan is still not talking to her father. Because of that, he has no way to call her and ask for a couple of bucks. I mean he is getting married soon and his new bride doesn't seem thrilled that he is deciding between cubic zirconia diamonds down at Wal-Mart.

So, Michael found some weekly publication willing to give him $20 to say anything about Lindsay. New York magazine was the lucky recipient of a few minutes of Michael's time and he had this to say.

"I definitely regret all the things I said about Samantha. I'm a Christian. I should not pass judgement on anyone. In the past, I felt that the best way to get to her was to speak out publicly and it was the wrong choice. Family matters should be kept private. I've learned that now."

Umm. This declaration that family matters should stay private will last about as long as there is no news or money to be made by him to release other family matters. Do you really think we will never hear another word from Michael Lohan about his family? Seriously? Does he expect us to buy that? Please. The only reason he is saying it now is either because he needs money, it's the Christmas season and he wants a gift, or his new bride wants Sam to DJ at the wedding. If he didn't talk about family, what would he talk about? Knowing him almost anything. But, no one is interested in anything he has to say unless it is about family. So, the bright side is that if he keeps his word we will never have to do another Michael Lohan post.

Say It Isn't So

There are not many magazines or websites that I think combine humor, snark and reporting and do it really well, but RADAR Magazine was one of them. I loved them. I read every issue and was always looking at their online stuff. I would then stay as far away from them as possible for the most part because they did everything so much better than me. Unfortunately though I guess the rest of the world didn't agree and RADAR is saying bye bye to the publishing world. They are shutting down and laying off their entire staff.

When RADAR came back on the scene about 18 months ago after a two year absence, their main investor said he would keep the issues pumping until at least the year 2011. Well, by my watch it is just 2008. So much for promises. I'll miss you guys.

Here's My Music Rule

Although I make a great deal of fun of various singers and musicians, it does not necessarily mean I don't listen to their music. Music is music just like movies are movies. If we stopped seeing movies because someone is a jerk there would not be any movies left to see. So, I am not going to lie and say I don't like Kanye West's music. I do like a lot of it. Can't stand him, but I can separate the music from the man.

But, there are limits to how far I can go down that ladder. I mean it would take a hell of a lot for me to go see a Tom Cruise film. So, when Kanye decides that he is going to take a turn with Aubrey O'Day that kind of really puts him on a path to never being redeemed. Besides enjoying the favors of anyone she actually makes eye contact with, she is a talentless hack who will end up on celebrity rehab sometime in the next five years. Not saying she is doing drugs or even contemplating doing drugs. Just saying that she will end up on the show. That will be the extent of her career. Oh sure there will be a sex tape or two as well.

As much of a jerk as Kanye is, you would think he would have some kind of button that says, I just can't mess around with her because it would be just like kissing every man in the world after they have been there. So, when I read the report in the NY Post about them sucking face at a club, I almost lost it. The next thing you are going to tell me is that Kanye has some kind of ego problem and that Donnie Wahlberg left his wife because of Aubrey.

God I Love Mischa Barton

Mischa Barton is a blogger's dream. Not so much that she is out drinking and drugging, but the fact that she is so damn high and mighty about it. Especially the high part. Tell me again what she got that DUI for? Was it for smoking pot or was it just drinking? I really can't remember, but I do know she said she gave up drinking and we know that to now be a lie. She also said she is reformed and would never do drugs. Well according to the people who took that photo, that is Mischa smoking a joint a store opening. A store opening by the way A. Reader that you should have been at. Just a little note because I know she's reading. Hey, she got sick, but she is better now. It happens.

How desperate do you have to be for a joint that you scrounge up some seeds from the bottom of your purse or from your belly button just to have 30 seconds of fun? Come on Mischa. At least if you are going to get your smoke on, do it right. Make people proud of you. Stop by Snoop's house and ask him to roll you one. All you are doing by smoking that little roach is to show people you are either so poor you will take what someone else throws on the ground or you can't go five minutes without any. Oh, and if you blames the vodka you might want to cut back on all those shots you drank. I'm surprised you had the dexterity to roll anything. But hey, at least she didn't drive. I think.

Lainey Blind Item

A bonus blind riddle for this week. Short and smutty.

They’re best friends and they say best friends only…

But they sleep in the same bed when they’re on holiday.

Duana and I have been sharing a king bed during our European travels but that’s because we’re poor. If we could afford it?

Please.

We’d both be in junior suites yelling at each other from across our balconies.

These two however don’t have to rough it. And when they do rough it, it’s because the cameras are rolling.

A junior suite for them is like a homeless shelter. So when they can book out an entire floor, why would they choose instead to share one bed?