Thursday, February 05, 2009

An Open Letter To Portia de Rossi


Dear Portia,

I just saw your interview in Ladies Home Journal and it scared me. Sure, I know that you are scared that I even know what Ladies Home Journal is, let alone read it. I do though. When you live with your parents, you read things like LHJ. I also reading Redbook and Good Housekeeping too. Anyway, that is beside the point.

I read in your interview that you were thinking of giving up acting to spend more time at home with Ellen. Hey, I think that's great and I think you make a great couple. Much better than that person you used to date, and we won't even talk about Ellen and Anne. She's a bit of a nut isn't she? We will just keep it between us. Nod if she is. That's what I thought.

Part of what makes the two of you such a great couple is that you both work and love what you are doing. You both have interests outside of your relationship which is good. I know that the two of you have more money right now than just about anyone in the world and so you don't really need to work, but this whole farming thing doesn't sound like the best idea.

"I don't need to be on camera. I'm not a workaholic. I love to spend time with my wife, my family, my animals.We're looking for the right place to have a farm. Someplace like Massachusetts or Nantucket, with seasons. We could get an 1800s farmhouse with land and rescue animals. Then I'm done."

OK, great. Look. I am all for that and I will even chip in and get you some chickens or goats or whatever you want. You can make your own goat cheese or whatever you want, but you have to do me one favor before you retire from acting.

I don't think I have ever asked you for a favor. Sure, in my mind I have wanted you to do more nude scenes in your movies, but I have kept that to myself. Hey, you should feel flattered. If you weren't with Ellen, I think she would have the very same thoughts as me so don't think it is just a guy thing and try and make me feel guilty.

One favor I would really like to ask is this. Do NOT retire before you make the damn Arrested Development movie. It is bad enough that all of us have to live with Michael Cera and his petty demands and bad mouthing the show and doing everything he can to sabotage the movie, but we really don't need him. They could just have a cardboard cut out of him and move it from scene to scene. But, you, dear, dear Portia, the movie cannot be made without you. I don't want you pretending you are going to retire or being wishy washy about it. We know you don't need the money, but we, the world, need you in that movie and that movie only. Oh, and maybe a few sequels. Two or three tops. So, what do you say? You do the movie and I will being you the goat.

EL

15 comments:

KellyLynn said...

Amen to that.

DNfromMN said...

I don't care how little she actually wants to work. Everyone on that cast loved working together (maybe not Cera, but everyone else). There's no way she wouldn't do it.

Anyway, she's not retiring just yet. She's on that new Better off Ted series with that hottie Jay Harrington. rawr. eye candy for those who like boys, AND those who like girls.

Bad Fish said...

I am so happy for them. I do hope she decides to do the movie.

whole_lotto _luv said...

The previews for Better off Ted look good, like it's something I might actually watch. I hope Portia isn't already getting word that it's not gonna make it.

Hotseat said...

How about also the fact that the article comes off a little stepford-wifey and that is not a good thing for a modern woman. the idea that "i'm pretty. i don't have to work. i have a partner for that" is outdated and wrong and not something a cool, evolved lesbian couple should be putting out there.

BinkyM said...

Er, why is this letter to *Portia* when everyone is reporting that it's *Ellen* who did this interview?

Casual Observer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
amster said...

I thought her and Ellen were talking babies at some point. We can assume Ellen won't be the pregnant one.

Dianne P said...

Agreed, Enty. I need to see Lindsay wearing that "Slut" tshirt or dress or whatever it is once more. Not to leer at her, but for the laughs.

msvictoriasara said...

A double Amen, KellyLynn! AD: the movie must be made. In this miserable economy, we all could use something to look forward to.

califblondy said...

I thought Ellen gave the interview?

If a person can afford not to work, I say good for you.

From what I've read they couldn't decide on kids because of a disagreement as to which one would carry the baby.

amazonblue said...

Who's Portia's former girlfriend that Enty is referring to?

Ellen is 50 or 51, can you see her on her talkshow 8 months pregnant? She's too old and she's already experienced one career backlash from the mini-van majority. She won't risk another.

AnonMom said...

Ringo Starr's stepdaughter was her exgf, Francesca Gregorini.

yes, I retain a ridiculous amount of celebrity trivia. I have issues.

Marisa said...

AMEN ENT

Heather Matthews said...

nothing wrong with enjoying life if you can...Ellen is lucky to have someone like Portia...she's so gorgeous and bright...