Never heard of Elvis Crespo? Latin Grammy Award winner. He sings merengue. No, not the pie, the music. Merengue. He is a very big star in the Latin singing world. His biggest hit is Suavemente. No, not Rico Suave. This is totally different. Anyway, about two weeks ago, the 37 year old married his manager. I'm guessing things are not going well for Elvis at home with his new bride. Basically she is his boss at home and at work, and so he probably wasn't feeling very masculine. So, he did what any guy would do in his situation. He took an airplane ride and decided to go ahead and just whip out his frank and beans right there in the airplane. Not only did he whip them out, but apparently he was, umm, really working them. Yeah, just like you are imagining.
In his defense, it is a long flight from Houston to Miami. It must be, what two hours? That is a very long time to go without showing the world your baby maker or making yourself happy.
The woman sitting next to him said he barely waited 15 minutes before grabbing a blanket and then doing what he needed to do. She reported him to the flight attendant who reported him to the captain who reported him to the Miami police who reported him to the FBI who finally got around to interviewing the guy when the plane landed. He wasn't arrested. I'm guessing he is probably well endowed and they bought his explanation that it needed to breathe.
As for what the singer had to say in his defense, he replied, "I don't recall doing that." Uh huh. I think that most people would be able to answer that question with a yes or no. I'm just saying if you pull out your winky at 35,000 feet, chances are that is going to stick in your mind.