Your Turn
Today is going to be something a little different. I'm going to try an experiment and see how it works. On Friday's from Noon to Midnight Pacific time I am allowing anonymous comments. I really want Your Turn to allow everyone to participate even if they don't have a Google account or don't want to identify themselves. Plus, for the item today, you might all want your anonymity. You don't have to be, but for the next 12 hours you can.
Today's topic is the biggest lie you have told to someone or been told by someone.
Remember the anonymous comments feature only lasts until midnight and if it is abused it will not be making a return appearance.
355 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 355 of 355I don't fancy my husband at all. Every time I sleep with him I fantasize about other men I know (a colleague, an online friend).
I hate the thought that this is how my sex life is going to be for the rest of my life.
When I turned 19, I received about a total of $1000 in birthday money.
Approximately $900 of that was spent on cocaine, pot, and liquor.
I told my parents I had put all of it in my savings accounta nd spent the rest on some new clothes.
Ironically, I sold half my wardrobe to a used clothing store for more drug money.
A lie that was told about me came straight from my roommate my freshman year in college. She accused me of stealing some liquor she bought(it turned out it was a FRIEND of hERS that stole it) and then told everyone a complete bs lie that I had herpes. Nearly the entire dorm was led to believe this.
Obviously I was pissed, so I leaked information about her. Some true, some not. I knew she was screwing boyfriends of her friends, and completely blackmailed the sh-t out of her.
Everyone later found out about the lies she accused me of, and her reputation was shot.
I don't feel sorry about it all. In fact, I feel pretty damn proud. She ruined the entire first semester of my freshman year in college just because she was convinced I stole her liquor even when none of it added up(I had been at an entirely different dorm the night it happened). I also take comfort in knowing she's ballooned. Ha.
My mother, drunk from a bottle of white wine, told me to kill myself since I was so "miserable." Actually, she's told me this three times. I was bullied by my parents and brother the 18 years I lived there, and I hold nothing but contempt for them. The physical and emotional abuse I suffered was incomprehensible and unwarranted. Lied to the rest of my family about my alleged antics, always embellished or made up. Told me they didn't love me nearly every chance they got.
The lie here is that they always tried to come off as loving, doting parents and the fakeness of it all was downright nauseating. They took me to a psychiatrist and put me on meds at a very early age simply because they just couldn't deal with being parents. Years later, at a family gathering in a psychiatrists office, one of the greatest moments in my life happened. The Stanford-educated psychiatrist called them out. Big time. I felt vindicated.
Needless to say, I cut off contact with them a long time ago and have never once for a second regretted it. I've said my goodbyes and I won't ever look back. Blood isn't always thicker than water.
Can you tell I'm still bitter?
@ Anon 1:08
What I meant to say, was that I had abortions, but lied and said they were miscarriages. I was young, but still old enough to know better.
The problem with being anonymous: one can be bullied about guilt in what is supposed to be a guilt-free environment.
Signed,
Anonymous 12:58
I told my dad that my old car which really wasn't that old was always breaking down leaving me stranded so he would buy me one I wanted.
I was raised to never lie. Even if I knew that I was going to get hit, I had to tell the truth. I still almost always tell the truth, I am a horrible liar. Now the sweet irony...The biggest lie ever told to me was by my mother. She told me that my father had an accident and fell off the mountain whilst climbing it. Twenty plus years later she made me call his mother with whom I have never had a relationship with bc of my mother She told me that my mother had forbidden her to tell me that my father had actually killed himself. They think that she killed him. If I let myself think about it, I could absolutely agree with them. She is the vengeful. During the call my mother could see me getting upset and started panicking and made me hang up the phone. I knew I couldn't tell her that I knew so I had to spend the day with her pretend everything was ok and that I didn't know. His family then sent me the clothes that he was wearing the day that he killed himself. With the blood and the cuts from where they cut the clothes off his body and the white sneakers...devastating.
My mom physically and emotionally abused me my whole life. It wasn't until I was 21 that she finally stopped hitting me. I hate her. I have since I was 13. I know I will feel so much peace when she dies. She told me that she didn't love me until I was one bc I was so ugly (from the photos I was really cute I think), she told me that I ruined her life, that she never wanted me, that she only had me bc my father wanted a child. She avoided me growing up, was never home and I basically raised myself after my grandma died. She wants to be in my life now. I don't trust her. I don't respect her. I try to tell her that I love her in response to her I love you's but I can't say it, so I just say, me too. I am terrified to have children bc of how horrible she was to me. What if I resent the fuck of my theoretical child?
I have become a really good actress, I can fake being happy and noone knows how sad I really am. That is how I was raised. I hate being so utterly fake, I am training myself that it is ok to let people see me sad, that I am not a game show host.
This is by far my favorite "Your Turn". It's interesting how we all have dark secrets. How we're more connected than we think. My hearts go out to those inflicted with such abuse. Some people are just undeserving a-holes.
Exboyfriend: No I didn't cheat and yes your name is on the house. (no and $10,000.00 no later...)Never did get that money back.
I wish I had the willpower to be anorexic...again.
I was arrested for a fake ID and public intoxication when I was 20. It was the day before my parents moved me out of my sorority house. I never told them then because I was going to Italy for the summer, and I will never tell them now because I'm ashamed of being so stupid.
Biggest Lie in my life: My father who I thought loved me and visited me at college all of the time wasn't there to be a good dad and check on me. He wasn't there for business either. He was there to check on his girlfriend who was a stripper who he had bought an apartment for and was supporting her. This went on for five years until his blackberry accidentally called my mother while God only knows what was going on. I still can't believe my mother stayed with him.
As a older teen I hooked up with a "friend" who ran stolen credit cards, and did lots of blow...about 25 years ago....Also had an affair while married. I'm a baaaaad girl....
I worked at this place that was owned by a family. I was in a really bad place in my life - without much self-respect. I managed to sleep with the operations manager (not part of the family) (a woman), a cousin of the family, and the father - who was twice my age and he was married. The son and I are still friendly, but he has no clue, despite all of the rumors. Did I mention? I'm a man. It's been years since all of this happened and I feel horrible about it every time I see the son, which is luckily not all that often.
I'm only 16 so i don't really have many. I guess the most is with my current relationship.
'Size doesn't matter' yeah right!
My boyfriend does not know that he's never given me an orgasm. Honestly one time the sex was so bad i faked it just to get it over with, from then on he's bragged and thinks he's something. I can't bare to tell him so i keep faking it, and honestly am considering cheating on him to experience pleasurable sex.
I've also been madly in love with his best friend for the last 3 years, and we finally kissed once but havn't spoken since and now he hates me, presumably because im his best friends girlfriend lol.
I'm a compulsive liar, i tend to like about anything and everything, mostly small things.
Actually when i was about 7/8 everyone was talking about a peadophile that hung around out school. I hadn't seen him but i wanted to be like everyone else. I lied and said someone was taking pictures of me when i walked into school once. The police got involved, my lies got bigger and bigger, to this day nobody has ever found out it was all a lie and i pretty much sent the police on a wild goose chase.
When people ask me how i lost so much weight a year ago, i tell them i did pilates most days, ran and cycled. Nobody knows it was the product of regular bullemia, anorexia and frequent self harming sessions in my bedroom.
I just wish i had the willpower to do it all again.
Biggest Lie told to me: My mum telling me she loves me. When i was younger she almost killed me and frequently told me she didn't love me and i wasn't hers. She now insits they were 'flashes of anger' and were not really true. She finally admited the other day that if she had known my father was going to die of his cancer shortly after i was born she would have had an abortion. Honestly i have no idea if my 'father' was my 'father' he was supposed to be infertile from the chemotherapy. miracle child or not? I don't think i'll ever find out.
I don't have gallbladder problems and eat what I please including fried and fatty foods. I tell my MIL that I can't eat any oily/fried foods though because I don't like her and want to be spiteful and make her life more difficult because of things she has said and done to me in the past.
I often tell my husband I have migraines so I can get out of seeing his toxic family. Instead I eat potato chips and lie in bed and read or talk on the phone.
Biggest lie told to me--that I know of--was when a close friend of my husband's was pregnant with twins but told everyone (or let them think) it was just a singleton. For 7 years she and her husband never let on that she had had twins and given 1 up for adoption (she told her mother and her best friend only). It's a long story but her reasons for the adoption were weird and stupid. The only good thing is that the adoption was a fairly open one and she raised her daughter knowing about her twin--and seeing her from time to time.
It was a deception of such a magnitude that we are no longer friends with them.
My own lies? I'm very truthful, except about my marital feelings.
The following occurs at my "friend's" place of employment:
1. Her boss's wife is extremely rude to "her" because she's convinced that her husband and "her" have had/are having an affair. The wife thinks that the reason her husband is never home is so that he can spend more time with his secretary. In fact, he is gay. As gay as they come and he organizes "business" trips to see his myriad of boyfriends. No one, and I mean NO ONE, knows about this. Not his wife. Not his kids. Not his parents (one of whom sides with the wife and treats my "friend" like shit too). If the wife were kinder she might have been given clues, especially since they have kids so there's been unprotected sex. But she's a bitch so fuck her.
2. Another person at my "friend's" place of employment organizes orgies. And people from work attend. He is also a drug addict. When people talk about his strange behavior, my "friend" plays dumb, pretending not to understand words like "opium den" (true story) and "gangbang".
3. Another co-worker in his 40s forced his tongue down the throat of an 18 year old employee late one night at the office when everyone had gone home. She quit shortly thereafter she was so disgusted, creeped out and scared it would happen again. This has come up in conversation around the water cooler and again my friend pretends not to know anything about it even though the 18 year old in question told her (and anyone else who would listen) all of the gory details.
4. Rumour has it that another employee at the office travels to foreign countries to have sex with children.
5. Another employee stinks of liquor all day, every day. No one ever talks about it. Especially my "friend".
The reason my "friend" would never admit any of this is because all of the above people (except the dirty drunk - she smells like hot, wet, ass, by the way) are lawyers. Big time, old school, old money, brilliant lawyers. My "friend" is not.
Damn that felt good. Shit if I remember more things told to me by my "friend", I'll be back!
1. I snuck heroin and percs into jail for an inmate during a visit. I hid it beneath my arm band and was not caught. I didn't even know the inmate, but did i for a stupid controlling boyfriend.
2. While my boyfriend is at work I masturbate to lesbian porn, sometimes for hours. I can't tell him I'm bi-sexual because his first gf turned lez on him after a 6 year relationship and i don't want him to lose faith in me.
My dad is a minister. A pretty famous one.
My confession isn't about him, he's a pretty awesome guy. I know there's a lot of anti religion people on here, but in all fairness to my dad, he's a true example of what a Christian should be, and I'm pretty lucky he's the real McCoy because there are a zillion hypocrites out there and I can see how those rotten apples truly spoil the bunch.
That said, my dad isn't always the best judge of character. Unfortunately, he really does look for the good in everyone, and is sometimes blinded to the fact that some people are just not good, period.
20-some odd years ago he and my mom divorced. It was scandalous. That's another story for another day. But fast forward a few yrs, they both remarry.
Well, my father marries an evil, evil, evil woman who is the world's best actress. He refuses to see her true colors. I'm sure it's a denial thing. Another divorce would be even more scandalous considering he's far more famous now than he was before, so we all know it's a case of not wanting to face that truth.
To my father she makes herself out to be the perfect christian, to me she talks smack, and has spent the past 20 yrs assassinating my character and that of my other siblings and members of my family.
20 yrs.
I kid you not.
It started when I was a recent HS grad headed for college. My bf at the time decided to attend the same university, and so off we went. Her smear campaign began then, and I've endured years and years of accusations of being a slut, a druggie and God knows what.
I am now late in my 30s. I have never done drugs or been a slut. I haven't been perfect, and I've made my share of mistakes along the way, but I never turned into the rebel wild slut she has always portrayed me to be to anyone that would listen. I also never returned to their city after college graduation, I simply went off and have lived a pretty decent life. My parents have always been ok with this, and I've never had a bad relationship with them. I am happy to say that I have made them proud in the past 20 yrs.
Well, today, ladies and gentlemen, I have finally been vindicated. It is such a personal victory for me and I have been so affected all day long that I've literally burst into tears a time or two today.
Here's what happened.
In a normal conversation with my dad earlier today, he let it drop that he was in the car, en route to the hospital. When I asked him why, he tells me that his Adopted Daughter has been admitted.
Let me back up 20 yrs.
Dad and evil wife, after having been married a couple of yrs, were on the brink of divorce. This was brought about not bc of the stresses of being married to someone so high profile, but bc my siblings and I were at a point where we couldn't take all her character assassination. My father had finally paid attn to our complaints, pleadings and heartbreak. He also probably did some poking around on his own, and saw we were not lying nor deliberately trying to cause dissension. Evil wife begs and pleads for forgiveness, and vows to never slander and defame us again. Dad believes her lies. In a desperate attempt to save the marriage, (and to tie up my dad further), she suddenly grows a maternal bone and decides she wants to adopt. (She had previously miscarried multiple times).
They adopt a Central American baby girl. She uses this child to try and replace us kids, but fails to do so, so resorts back to her trusty MO of slandering my family from cost to coast. Many people buy it. Many think, to this day, thanks to her, the we really are horrible people.
Well guess what. That visit my father made to the hospital earlier today? It was because the adopted girl, now 17 and a HS senior, was in labor. Turns out that girl, sadly, turned out to be every single last thing Evil Wife accused me of being. Rebel, druggie, cutter, and slut. She'd always been a wild child, but we never imagined the magnitude of it bc my siblings and I have always separated ourselves from Evil Wife and the little girl. We've never had a relationship, and my father has always been wise enough not to push.
We didn't even know the young lady was pregnant. My father, out of shame I presume, hid the pregnancy from us. Even my siblings who live in the same city as him had no idea.
So while I feel bad for my father, and what he will surely have to face, I feel a sense of vindication, bc in 20 yrs the Evil Wife has not been able to pin anything on me--and yet the daughter she raised turned out to be all the lies she tried to lay on me. There will be a scandal now in their church and community, and I am truly saddened bc my dad honestly does not deserve that. But too bad. Many, many, many people tried repeatedly to warn him against marrying the evil wife, he didn't listen. I know he is paying for it now. It breaks my heart for him, but at the same time I am thrilled at my little gain in justice. It's a small thing, I realize that, but it's monumental for me, given what the past 20 years have been.
May God be with my dad, and may justice continue to come.
I am a heroin addict and I just started shooting it. I only smoked it before that. The thing is, I am married and my husband does not know. The reason why this all started is because my husband is a very mean, emotionally abusive person. He has worked very hard at breaking my spirit. I have been with him for a total of five years, but we just got married about six months ago. The reason why I started doing heroin was because he dumped me a week before my birthday by calling a sheriff and having me kicked out and only letting me take a box of stuff. I do admit that I would not leave, but it was because this was the second time I had moved in with him and had given up my apartment and my life for him, to only have him decide one month later that he didn't want me around. He dumped me just like that and never spoke to me again. It was the most painful thing I ever went through. Well, when I finally started to heal and date again about a year later, I ran into him at a bar. I was very kind to him and even bought him a shot, which he was very mean about refusing. He was very cruel to me that night, and I figure it was because he could not stand to see me moving on. A couple of nights later he emailed me, and of course I was not over him, so we started the romance again. I had told him of my troubles, the heartbreak he had caused me, and he was very sorry and promised he would never do that to me again. I was skeptical, but in order to put my mind at ease, he married me. Well, fast forward to now and he is pulling the same shit except now he threatens divorce every other day and it really sucks because I am dependent on him. So my way of escaping is heroin. It takes away all the pain he has caused me, and makes me feel like I have a secret double life too. Yes, he had been talking to women on the internet, and has spoken very badly about me to them and his family. Very badly. He tells them all my secrets and makes fun of me, and does not even refer to me by name. Heroin is all I have, but I have decided to quit killing myself over him. I am quitting all on my own, with no support from anyone, as no one knows. Kicking is not the scary part, as I got suboxone through his insurance so the kick will be bearable. The scary part is learning how to deal with all of my feelings that will no doubt drown me in 3,2,1....
When I was a teenager, I lied about being pregnant to "keep" my boyfriend. It didn't work, and I was stuck with the lie. I had to make up a big story about having an abortion to cover up the original lie, and then I ended up becoming best friends with someone who already "knew" about my abortion because she was friends with my ex-boyfriend. So I had to lie to HER, too. To this day, after more than fifteen years, she and I are still best friends and I have never told her the truth. It bothers me. I have dreams about it still.
i won't come in your mouth
The biggest lie told to me: by my former girlfriend. Said she loved me. I had doubts and one night I was lying in bed writhing in pain. Felt like I'd been stabbed in the back. Interesting foreshadowing. A few days later she dumped me... in a coffee shop and brought my belongings in a box.
One of the biggest lies I've told was to my campers. I was their counselor for several years, and one of them asked me if I was gay, and I denied it. Times were different then, didn't want to get fired.
I was told she was my aunt. She was my Mom's daughter not my Mom's sister. Born 13 years before me, to the day. I found out when I was 28. It was heartbreaking.
my job is boring so i smoke pot every day before i go in....
Biggest lie told to me- my aunt had a child while she was still in high school (70's) and gave the baby up for adoption. Her children have no clue and the oldest is 29.
biggest lie I've told-the number of men I've slept with or telling my fiance he has the biggest cock I've ever had.
Told to me: I love you
Told by me: No I'm not leaving you for another man
After reading these posts i don't think we should come down quite as hard on the 'closeted actors', for at least a week, 'kay?
I occasionally smoked pot while I was pregnant with my first son. The father encouraged me to spend our money on weed and abused me on a regular basis. I was so depressed, so i toked, but then I'd feel so guilty everytime. I started to hate myself. I'm such a great actress that no one other than the father and my best friend would even guess that I was such a stoner.
Anon 5:55 here....
There is still more I need to get off my chest!!! I just didn't want to write one really long comment. The biggest lies told to me have all been by my husband. He withholds sex from me often, to the point where we only have sex a few times every few months. I knew something was up as he claimed he just wasn't "that sexual of a person." whatever. So I installed a spy program on his computer and I got his email password and jeez, it really broke my heart. Like I said, he had been carrying on with women talking about very inappropriate, sexual things and also talking very badly about me. Turns out he is a very sexual person. He talks about women like they are just bodies for him to use, and not intelligent beings equal to men. He talks about raping women and then tossing them in dumpsters, he loves porn, he talks about sleeping with random women. He really had me fooled for years. I copied off all of the emails and pics, and I am going to use it when I take him to court and take him for everything he has. The thing is, is that he has fooled everyone into thinking that I am a crazy bitch and he is the victim in a horrible marriage, so I can't wait for all of this stuff to get out to our family and friends. This will be the greatest acting role of my life because right now I have to smile and tell him I love him until the time comes that I am able to do this. He truly does deserve this. He is the most evil, vile human being I have ever had the misfortune of knowing. He looks down on people less fortunate than him, uses racist terms, makes fun of overweight women, makes fun of tragedies such as Hurricane Katrina, I mean, the list goes on and on. He is only this way to me, though. To the rest of the world, he is a stand-up guy. Ugh. I hate him.
I am married with two kids who are VERY close in age. When I found out I was pregnant while my youngest was 7 months and my oldest was 2 I had an abortion. BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER! Bad karma since.
I hate telling people those unfortunate truths... to the point where I lie. The problem is, sometimes my lies hurt people.
I give people confidence boosters and say they can make it when they very obviously can't.
I tell my girl friends that the guys they are into are definately interested, even when I can tell they're not.
I don't tell people when they have food stuck in their teeth because I'm too embarassed for them.
Fucked up, I know.
some of these make me so sad, i just want to bring you home, give you a bunny to cuddle.... hug you close like your parents/friends/lovers never did.
it's no secret that i was molested by my uncle from an early age. it WAS a secret, to me, at least, that most of the women in my family were molested, raped, or controlled by said uncle. it's all a very long story (and i'm not getting to my lie/confession yet).
the asshole i got married to when i was 19 knew this, and not only left me alone in the room with this man against my repeated requests not to, he also treated me in much the same way. i have weirdnesses to this day, and i've been married to the wonderful mr. buns for 24 years.
what's worse, the asshole treated my son badly. even when i was still married to him. the day my son was born, he disappeared for about 12 hours, nobody knew where he was. later, when there was no money around, he would eat my son's food. he raped me twice, but i guess i knew it was going to happen the second time. i've told that story here before. until my son was old enough to say he wasn't going to visit any more, the asshole and his family told him that i was a horrible mother, that i had done bad things, blah, blah, blah, and my son thinks now that there may have been some other stuff that he doesn't fully remember. i had ex-neighbors call me up and tell me things, but who wouldn't come to court. in those days, nobody got involved.
so, here's my big secret: 4 years ago, the asshole died. the kid that cut the grass, where he'd been hiding from the DA (not paying child support) at his dead mother's house, found him dead on the floor.
i was glad. I. WAS. GLAD.
the uncle died a year or two ago. i never let him in my daughter's life.
i was glad he died.
*and i think you all will join me in a hallelujah that he got a ball shot off in WWII and was never able to father children, at least that's the story**
my son thinks he's forgiven him, but he's gotten involved with a church that scares me. if he truly has, then he's a better man than i.
i feel awful that i'm glad these two men are off the earth. i can't even speak the name of the man i once married.
who ever said this thread had turned into true confessions instead of biggest lies told, was right.
biggest lie told? at least 1/3 of the things that came out of the asshole's mouth. my parents saw this long before i did. oh, what i put them through!
I've told lots of lies, nothing special. I'm not compulsive, but the only 2 people I've spoken to in the last 24 hours, I lied to.
First was a woman offering me a job interview (I am currently unemployed). I told her I wasn't available. In reality, I sent a resume to her company 3 months ago for a substantially less important position than the one for which she is now interviewing. I don't know why I didn't just tell her I didn't think I was qualified.
Second was my brother. He sent me his tax stuff a couple days ago, called me this evening and asked what I was doing. I told him I was just starting his taxes. It guilted me out so that after the call, I got right on them and had them done and emailed to him in about an hour.
When I was in High Schhol I lied and told a boyfriend that I was pregnant with twins to get his attention. To cover it up I said that a tumor caused them to die. We are still very close friends and I have never told him the truth though this happened 10 years ago.
A few years ago, I told my employer I was having surgery and would be out for a week when I really just was on a cocaine & booze-fueled bender. I really felt like crap when the "get well soon" flowers started arriving....
Biggest Lie told to Me:
I was alternately told that a girl I had been dating was pregnant, after we stopped dating and she moved away. She even sent me baby shower cards as a reminder up to the time that she would have been due. When there was no birth, she (much) later admitted to me that she had done it to get back at me. I remember feeling very scared/conflicted etc. during the time of it going on, but I hold her no ill will to this day. We actually sort of became friends afterwards..
I was in love with a seminary student who later became a priest when I was in high school. He was six years older than me and I never told a soul.
I had an abortion then photo copied the bill. My next 5 boyfriends all paid for that abortion.
On going lie, I purposely mishandle money because my family constantly tells me I don't know how to manage it. I get mad so I spend at least 100 bucks a month on random stuff I don't need just to piss them off.
I had an abortion then photocopied the bill. My next 5 boyfriends each paid for my abortion.
I've told plenty of lies but the biggest ones have all been told to me.
My ex-husband told me 1) he has graduated from Louisiana State University (lie) 2) that he was divorced (lie and he finally told me in a panic a month before our wedding that it wasn't final) 2) that he wasn't cheating on me (this one was told three months after we had gotten married...he was cheating on me but this came out later).
My lie to him in return came after he confessed to the affair. He told me the truth when I confronted him on the morning he was flying out on business. He left and I immediately called the movers, packed everything in the house leaving nothing but his dog. When he called me in the middle of moving day telling me he needed to talk to me to explain things and asking me to be there when he got home, I told him I would be there. I lied. I took everything and never looked back. Just went and filed for divorce after 6 months of marriage and never saw him again.
7:30 I like the way you roll...
My niece was raised as my sister. My mother made me lie to everyone and say that she was my younger sister. Now my mother is dead my niece is resentful because she was conceived out of rape.
She hates everybody, and is very disrespectful especially to me. I hate her guts.
Everybody knows she's just the niece but they want stop calling her my sister.
I'm not a fan of lying in this one is sending me to an early grave.
I don't think my niece knows how to love people because her mother never learned how to due to the fact that she was raped and possibly psychotic anyway.
Long time lurker, first time poster. I love this option.
Two things:
I was raped by a co-worker and good friend several years ago and my guy friends who were in the apartment at the same time cheered him on for "breaking the ice queen." I kept the fact that I was forced hidden from everyone until I finally broke down to my male roommate who threatened his life. After this incident for awhile, I could only get into sex with guys of another race than he. I then was stupid enough to sleep with him a few years later in a drunken one-night stand and I justified doing it by saying "I am doing it to block out the other time" but in reality I was just very drunk, lonely and horny.
Second, I had breast surgery when I was 20. One of my breasts is an implant. The other is not. I am scared to death that someone is going to notice the scars and say something. I lied and told people I had cysts removed when I had the surgery.
I was a habitual liar from my teens until my forties. I realize now that most of it was to get attention, due to a lack of love from my mother when I was a child. I'm not proud of the lies I told, and the one or two people that may have been hurt by them. At least now I understand why I did the things I did, and hope that I am a better person now. I was always, however, a good mother, even though I had a shit of a husband who stole everything from me. Maybe that was my Karma, I don't know, but it's my turn now. I'm ready to fight for what's mine! It's been enlightening reading all the comments here, sort of a relief to know I wasn't the only one, as most of the lies I told, I can see that many others did the same. Hopefully the remaining years in my life, I will try to live as a good human being. I know that I really am a kind person, and my friend and my children know this too. Good luck to you all.
mine is a life long lie. my mother was an alcholic and use to slap me around as a kid. she finally died of alcoholism, not kidney failure like i tell people, a year and a half ago. and my dad is drinking himself to death even as i write this.
i'm all grown up now, so it's not like i'm a little kid with no resources. but when i talk to my dad on the phone, and he's drunk at 10:00 in the morning i wish he would die too, so i could stop feeling so shitty about my family and how they always seem to choose alcohol over an actual relationship with me.
When my husband asked me how many men I had been with before him, I low balled drastically and said some ridiculously low number like less than 10. In reality I have slept with close to 250 men, probably more. I lost track a long time ago.
Not really a lie, but more like a deep, dark secret actually. I was an escort for a while in my 20's in order to pay rent and buy food when I was really low on cash.
I didn't know I was a virgin until I went to the gynecologist. I wondered why sex was so painful so I stopped trying.
The doctor said even if you did have sex it wasn't done properly.
This was very embarrassing and in order to correct it I would have to see a specialist.
So now I have everyone beat.
I am a 40 something virgin.
I haven't gone back to the gynecologist because it is embarrassing and too painful.
One of my biggest fears is that I'll die a virgin.
first husband was an abusive asshole, both verbally and physically and i suspected him of cheating but was young/broke/had two small kids and was scared to leave.
my secret/lies involved my cheating on him with an ex-boyfriend once a week, for two years. after the novelty of that wore off i slept with a male stripper at a friend's bachelorette party in his car, and then later slept with the stripper's roommate. made out with my hot female friend at a party, while our husbands were downstairs and slept with her on multiple occasions. also had threesome with her and a bartender i was also seeing. lastly, i had a threesome with my neighbors, a married couple whose daughter played with my kids.
and then i couldn't take it anymore and got a divorce. years later, i am happily remarried and 100% faithful, live in the suburbs and am basically boring. i worry someday my past will come back to haunt me. And perhaps my biggest secret was the 8 mos i spent as an escort after my divorce...my husband and his wealthy/conservative family would just die if they knew my past...
OMG to 6:08:
I did that for almost a year! I would smoke pot on the way to work, in garages or in my car at lunch, and on the drive home. Now that i'm out of financial services i'm weed free!!
I love you guys. I love this site. I love Enty.
Hollywood has nothing on our lives!
My cousin's husband dumped her after 40 years of marriage. I felt sorry for her until she started acting smug and telling people that it's no big deal and he'll be back soon because nobody knows him like she does.
Oh really? She doesn't know how many times that husband of her's asked me to sleep with him and I've never told her about it.
No I didn't sleep with him. He was a real loser. I don't know what she ever saw in the scumbag.
Sometimes I tell people my father is dead. I have my reasons... here's a bit of an explanation:
When I was about 4 or 5, my alcoholic father got annoyed at some red-neck neighbors after they taunted him and called him N***** while he was walking our family dog. He came home and got a bit more wasted than he already was, then he got me and told me we were going for a walk.
I don't remember every detail but he got his machete out and carried it down the street behind his back while holding my hand.
I didn't really understand that the whole machete-thing was totally fucked up, so i just skipped along down the street, wondering where we were going.
We got to the home of the racist neighbors and my father knocked on the door. The man's wife answered and my dad revealed the machete to her. I remember what he told her and the look on her face like it happened yesterday. He told her that he was going to kill her husband, her, and their children (who were friends of mine). She grew very frightened and I did as well. I tried to tell him "come on daddy, let's go home" and he continued to rant in a drunken rage.
He told her she might as well call the cops cuz he was ready to kill them. He told her his name and address. Then we left.
When we got home, he hid the machete in the storm window (is that what it's called? the kinda ditch that's outside basement windows?) and covered it with leaves. He went inside and passed out drunk. I went upstairs and sat on my brothers' bunk beds and stared out the window. Minutes later, i noticed a female police officer creeping around our front yard bushes with her gun drawn. Suddenly more cops were surrounding our house. My mother was a nurse who worked nights and was asleep at the time. I woke her and she must have sent me and my brothers to a bedroom out of earshot. I don't remember the arrest.
Afterwards, the police were questioning my mother about where the machete was. When I realized what a machete was I cried out (like an excited school girl with the answer to a hard question)
"Oooh ooh I know!!" And ran to the backyard. I jumped into the window-ditch(?) and began frantically tearing out leaves. The cops and my mom intervened before I could accidentally cut myself on the blade (and mess with the evidence) and my father was locked away for maybe a month... i dont remember how long he was gone for. As I said, i was like 4 or 5.
I have other reasons for hating my dad, but this is probably the worst thing he ever did to me individually.
@bad fish: knew i loved u for a reason....camus much?
@2:18: don't judge me, monkey
-12:48 part une
I just have to say, this is the best Your Turn ever. I keep refreshing to read the newest comments.
And I keep trying to think of something to confess, but I don't really have anything to add.
I have to agree, this could be a book! So so interesting.
"if it is abused it will not be making a return appearance"
- is that a threat?
- do you get off on feeling some sense of control over a blog?
"I am allowing anonymous comments"
- again, quite condescending
danke, your royal highness
anon 8:23 - you must be new here and not remember the abuses when anonymous comments were the norm. It was troll heaven.
I kept a job by telling my employer I had a miscarriage which was why I couldn't come to work, actually I was on a drinking binge.
For the past year I've been secretly ruining my best friends life. She doesn't know how GOOD she has it so I've taken it upon myself to set her up for situations I know will only damage her self-esteem. I have an accomplice.
He said he was divorced. The email from his wife proved otherwise.
@8:23
It sounds like you've got a few issues up your sleeve you could possibly leave here.
If you don't like it, then don't participate.
...when I told my husband I had no idea how his brand new Dodge Challenger got scratched up.
To those who say it should be a book...it is. Six books, I think.
http://postsecret.blogspot.com
This site is super interesting as well.
www.foundmagazine.com
@ 8:23 - it's Enty's blog, he can do whatever he wants. Shithead.
I had two abortions in one year. Both pregnancies by the same guy. He refused to wear a condom so I refused to have his kids. I haven't slept with him or anybody since last October. And I love it.
I told my ex I was pregnant and had a miscarriage to try to keep him. Big mistake, it didn't work and I can look back on it now and be thankful!!
I've always had a strong desire to murder my brother. He's the most loathsome person on the planet. A true waste of space.
When I was six or so, my grandmother took me and my twin sis to the graveyard down the street from her home. We visited Grandpa's grave, then the grave of a little girl. Tombstone carved in shape of a little lamb.
Anyway, Grandma said that this little girl played in the street and got sucked up by the street cleaner. A big vehicle with round brushes scouring the pavement.
It was terrifying. It was years before I realized Grandma was lying. The front yard of her house was deeply sloped towards the road.
She lied to keep us away from the road because she couldn't keep up with us.
8:32 there is more to your story...
@8.32
I had a friend like you. It practically destroyed my soul upon learning that someone I loved so much and completely trusted would purposely set out to do me harm.
Life has a way randomly dishing out its own crap. She might have it good now, but it might not always be that way. Couple that with an impaired ability to trust people later on when she figures out what you're doing...she will figure it out, you know.
8:32 I need to hear specifics because I secretly wish we could ruin someone's life.
I faked the crying and wailing at my dad's funeral about 3 years ago on this Easter. I just cried because my mother and step-mother were crying. I guess it because I still hold some anger towards him for leaving my mother and I for a woman with 3 kids in another state. Helped her daughter get through undergrad and grad school. I am in college and he hasn't helped me any. He left us financially broken and my mother resorted to using drugs heavily. We were homeless for 2 years after he left and we moved from crack house to crack house.
Good news: my mother has been clean for 8 years now and has her own car,house and job and I am slowly but surely getting over the anger.
I've never felt like I am worth anything and it actually pisses me off to have people say otherwise.
Wow, this really is therapeutic.
8:47, I'm so happy your family is getting it together. That's such a horrible story. My father was an asshole, but he never left us. It was too much fun telling us what disappointments we were and how useless we were. I'm glad my father's dead.
8:32 why dont you admit you hate her? shes your enemy not your friend.
I guessed my nemesis' email password to her Yahoo account until she recently changed it. It was the name of her beloved dog, a big Chow. Four years of logging on and reading her mail. It was awesome. I knew she was cheating on her husband and also learned she'd cheated on her lover with a coworker. I copied all the emails and if she ever messes with me again in any way whatsoever, all of it goes to every member of her family, every business contact and her very few friends.
my brother's 13-year-old best friend molested me in my bedroom when i was eleven, within earshot of my (adoptive since infancy) parents. i never told my family because i wasn't sure if they would believe me, as i didn't know if was dreaming it or not. when i asked him why he had done it the next morning, the boy denied it: "what are you talking about?" i still hold a lot of hate towards my family over that.
at 20, the first boyfriend pulled these winners: a) told me he didn't have any STDs when he had just been treated for HPV, and of course passed it on to me; b) he replied to my brave first "i love you!" with "well, i love you when i'm inside of you..." (believe me, he didn't even love that!); and c) he date raped me one new year's eve while i screamed no (won't even get into the atrocities a doctor pulled on me over that one).
when we broke up after a year, i did use the "i'm pregnant, i need money" bit on him. hey, i was hurt & a minimum-wage earning student.
my next relationship of eight years was with a high earning compulsive liar, who cheated and lied yet tried to convince me i was the one who had problems and should be put away.
i think the biggest lie of all was that i went against my own instincts & kept telling myself, "well, this is what a relationship is all about," and kept putting up with this kind of dishonest, disrespectful crap. you'll all be glad to know i've been willfully unattached for the past ten years, cuz obviously i don't attract the right types.
can i blame it on my mother?
5:55 "I won't come in your mouth."
And for that, i am grateful :)
I had an ex boyfriend try to win me back by confessing that he "thinks of me every time he jacks off". At the time, I was repulsed and confused. He had a way with words that did not win me back.
However, flash forward 6 years, and I often think of that compliment when I want to feel sexy. I know it sounds sad, but with my current life of wife and mother,which I wouldn't trade for anything of course, sometimes I want to feel like a sex kitten, not a matronly woman.
I have slept with 56 men. No one knows the truth. The last man I married. I was incredibly lucky I practiced safe sex and did not get any diseases (and yes I have been tested) but it WAS the 1980s. Awful.
Anon 9:13, don't be so hard on yourself!! Seriously, you would be surprised by people's real numbers!! Look at as a learning experience, not an impure one!
When I have sex with my boyfriend, I often fake everything. Not because he is not good but because I am afraid of what the Lord is going to think when Judgment Day comes because its premartial sex. That is all I focus on when we are having sex.
I told all my friends back in the city I used to live in that I was transferring to UCLA. Well, I don't go there, never even applied there I just needed a great excuse to get away. And make me look more impressive. I don't miss ANY of them.
I stole my dad's pain medication(he is physically disabled) for months. I justified it by telling myself it's his own fault why he's disabled. He fought with my brother one night, and I had to stop them from killing each other. Literally. Four cop cars came, the whole bit. Neighbors scratching their heads..this white wonderbread family? Who would've thought? To be honest, sometimes I wish I hadn't broken up the calamity. They're both a couple of major sh$theads.
My parents have made us lie to our family about why my dad has a broken shoulder(from the fight he had with my brother). They are wealthy and conservative, so that kind of thing doesn't fly. I think about outing the truth everyday considering the dirt they've let slip about me. Which has been greatly greatly exaggerated. As for my brother? Pristine reputation-despite the fact that he would've DEFINITELY killed my father had I not interfered.
The entire situation angers me greatly, considering I actually did very noble things-I got into universities(well, before I was kicked out because of financial reasons). I did a ton of volunteer work-I had three jobs. My brother has never had one to speak of and only boasts a second-string position on his high school football team as a senior. I've definitely made my fair share of mistakes, but the way I've been portrayed in contrast to the rest of them disgusts me. They are awful, awful people. I said I would never tell the truth about it to any of the family members, but I'm plotting the blackmail. Beautifully. I can only take so much.
Props to all for their confessions/secrets. It feels great to know I'm not alone, and I'm sure many of you think the same.
I almost participated in a threeway, but not by choice. I was overseas and had been hanging out with a seemingly-cool tour guide and his girlfriend. I got drunk as hell with them one night, passed the fuck out, and woke up with a woman unbuttoning my pants and trying to get her fingers in my crotch, while her boyfriend rubbed my breasts and tried to get me to kiss him. When I realized what was happening, I puked all over their bed. And I am SO glad I did.
I know it's not as scandalous as actually going through with one, but it does stand as the single most grotesque sexual experience of my life. I've never felt such gratitude towards my own power to projectile vomit.
I was also sexually propositioned by a fifty-something friend of the family in a hotel room when I was fourteen or so. He had known my dad for years, and was this sweet, jolly-seemingly bumbling guy. When I was in elementary school, he'd pick me up on a random Tuesday afternoon (my dad worked all the time and I was a latchkey kid), take me to Toys R' Us and give me hundreds of dollars. Then, we'd stop by a pie shop and he'd buy some gourmet fruit thing for thirty bucks, and we'd take it home to my dad. What kid wouldn't love that? He just seemed sort of lonely and overly generous. He also had a dying wife at home, and he talked about her with fondness. So we didn't really think he was all that weird.
Anyway, he took me to Las Vegas when I was thirteen. We stayed in separate rooms and everything seemed totally cool; at that point, he was like a cross between a fat uncle and a slow grandpa. Anyway, during a shitty-ass dinner at the California Pizza Kitchen at Caesar's Palace, he offered me thousands of dollars to travel places with him and stay in fancy hotels and see shows, as long as he "got to fondle and kiss on me" every once in a while.
It was a really uncomfortable situation, but I still remember sort of considering it for an hour or so. Then I just felt sickened. I called my father when I got back to my hotel room and I flew back home the next day.
I asked my dad one time why he never talked to the dude about what happened, and he replied that he was honestly afraid that he'd end up in prison for murdering him.
9:28 - How did he convince your parents to let you go on a trip with him - especially to Vegas.
@9:28-that's crazy! What a sick bastard. But I'm wondering, too-how did your parents let you accompany him to vegas when you were 13?
I had exactly the same question for 9:28.
Did your dad continue the friendship? You just said you questioned why he never mentioned it to him, which makes me think he still talked to the man.
How traumatizing for you!!
Lie I was told-I love you by my mom. Growing up, everyone thought she was the perfect Mom-so nice and kind and always there for her children-she hated me because I was a late in life baby and would tell me on multiple occasions that she should have aborted me. Recently, she said that in front of my children. When my hubby found out, he told her that she did not have to pretend to love me because he, my children and his family love me more on a daily basis than she did for the past 38 years of my life.
Lie I told-I lied to the police and said that my rapist had a mask on and I could not see his face or identify him. But I would see him every Sunday I went to church. He was a "good family man, with a loving wife and beautiful children". I was not the only one who had a smile on her face when we found out that he was attacked, castrated and beaten. Everyone said it was a random crime-it was the brothers of another girl that he had attacked. They are all heroes in my book.
I used a game of drunken truth or dare to get my then-boyfriend and best mate to first fool around with each other and then have an all-out threeway with me. I felt bad later that night when the boyfriend woke me with tears in his eyes and told me he hated what had happened and felt so dirty for touching my friend. I didn't have the heart to tell him I didn't really care about him and so I lied and said that we would forever be closer because of what happened.
I wonder how he's doing now...... ;)
8:32 here. She has low self-esteem, we do what we can with it.
She has found out, we deny everything.
@8:49 PM I don't hate HER per say, I hate that she takes advantage of her family, friends and situations and gets away with it. Just desserts IMO.
Biggest lie I told someone: Well, I was a former actress so I used to ALWAYS lie about my age. I also have lied about being divorced simply because sometimes I get a complex about being in my 40s and single (though I've had many relationships and boyfriends). I do remember my mother telling my father (after I had just graduated from college and was at my parents' house one weekend) that I was laying in bed all day, sick with a stomach virus when in actuality she had taken me to a clinic early that morning for me to get an abortion.
Worst lie told me? Basically everything include "and," "of" and "the" that was said to me by a former "good friend" of mine who I realized (with great sadness because he had been a different person when I knew him in college but maybe his sociopathic, pathological lying ways were dormant then) was an unregenerate and remorseless con-artist, pathological liar and two-faced, backstabbing SOB.
9:50, you married a very good man. I think people that do what those brothers did should be given medals. Sometimes the law should be taken into your own hands. Church people can be so fucked up. Growing up the preacher at the church I went to had an outright contempt for me. When his kids would taunt me and say horrific things to me, he'd just smile and laugh. Kids will be kids. When his whore of a wife left him for another psychiatrist, I just smiled and laughed and said preachers will be preachers.
I had a hookup relationship with a closet celebrity back in the early 90's. When he wasnt famous. He is now very much a family man and very famous.
8:32 here AGAIN. I'm getting tired of doing it (there's better things to do), lately I haven't done anything but I have no one to tell and get it off my chest so if anyone's interested I will be setting up a special e-mail and post it soon here. Hate mail is invited.
8:32 here AGAIN. I'm getting tired of doing it (there's better things to do), lately I haven't done anything but I have no one to tell and get it off my chest so if anyone's interested I will be setting up a special e-mail and post it soon here. Hate mail is invited.
Oh, 9:57 you MUST reveal!!
When I was 22 I met my Prince Charming. Because he was clearly older than me, in his 30's, early on we had a discussion about how old was 'too old' for me... I said that 15 years older than me was a lot and about the most I could see myself with. Luckily he was right around that, and he was the most wonderful, romantic and attentive man. We got married and have a daughter, now 16. But shortly after our marriage I learned that he had lied about his age, taking 5 years off his actual age and he'd also lied about how many previous marriages (there were 4, I was told 2). Despite this, our marriage lasted 18 years and complicated as it is, we are still together, but it's not like the magical fairy tale it once was. It seems when you begin with deception that this can carry through, my husband has a gambling secret too and this leads to many many lies on his part (he doesn't see it that way). I struggle and wonder if he was Prince Charming, or a con man.
9:57 my guess is Brad Pitt!! Reveal!! It's anon!!!!!
i dont tell anyone that i still suck my thumb, and i am in my 20's
i say i love my mom or dad or friends but i dont think i have feelings like love or hate, i just dont feel anything at all.
i am a virgin and i have never kissed a guy before, i lie and say that i am too strong to be dependent on a man but the truth is that i dont want to date a man who is overweight like me and no one else is interested, so i just stay alone.
When I was 14, my bestfriends older borther (he was 27 at the time) tried to molest me, but didn't get very far. As soon as I figured out what was happening, I got this super human strength and shoved him to the floor, stomped on his stomach as hard as I could, and then ran. The three of us had been watching a movie, and she had left to answer the phone. Immediately after, within the hour he drove home. She didn't know why. I told a close friend, and didn't know what else to do. I wasn't sure if my bestfriend would believe me if I tried to tell her that her brother was a pedophile. A few days later, I was over at her house when he called. During their call, he asked to speak to me, and I took the phone. He told me how much he liked kissing me the other night. I handed her back the phone and left the room. After she hung up, she found me crying in her room. I told her what happened; wrote it down actually. I couldn't say it outloud. And she believed me. He had done it before with one of her older sister's friends. Eventually, she confronted him infront of their family. (sidenote: she was 17 at the time) Her family consists of 8 children, and she was the third youngest. When she confronted him, it was infront of her family. These people had known me since I was 5 years old, including him. My older sisters used to be friends with him. When she confronted him, he denied it. She really went after him, and then he finally admitted that something had happened- but changed the story so that I was the one coming onto him, and that I had tried to makeout with him, etc. A few people in her family believed her, saying that I was a little slut. I was not a little slut, and it hurt really bad that people who had known me from such a young age (I met said friend at church!) could believe that I was like that. After the confrontation, one of her sisters told mine, and my sister told my mom. They wanted to report it to the police, but it had taken a few months for them to find out. They couldn't understand why I didn't tell them. After a few months, no one remembered. It still hurts. I still feel ashamed. No one knows. Once when I was drinking with my bestfriend, I blacked out. She told me that I had spent the night crying over what happened. She doesn't like to talk about it because she feels guilty. She always says if she hadn't left the room, nothing would have happened. I don't blame her. My sister found out he is planning to get married, and was talking to me about him one day wehn she brought up what happened. She told me that he had always had a crush on her, and the reason he had probably done it was because we look alike. She doesn't know how much that conversation hurt. I do want to get over it. I just don't know how. It's been 5 years.
8:32- your deception will come back and bite you on the ass one day. Don't think it won't. You will also get your "just desserts".
You're obviously jealous. If you were so against her devious behaviour you would be weary about stooping so damn low.
@8:32 - awww, come on - post here. You've explained yourself a bit now. So HOW is she taking advantage of family, friends et al and getting away with it? And why is getting back at her by kicking her already low self esteem better than another method - i.e. calling her out on her bullshit?
@9:57 - don't reveal it. Unless he's being an overt hypocrite about it and going on every talk show milking his straightness.
One of my teachers thought I was depressed and told my parents that I should get counseling. I laughed it off, and told them that she wasn't Dr. Phil, and not qualified to diagnose me. I told them that I had never liked her, so she was used to my bad attitude. She was right. I haven't been happy for a long time. It makes me sad that a stranger could see through the act, but my parents couldn't.
I was born with something called Androgen Insensitivy Syndrome. It is a long story, but basically, I am an XY female. I look female, grew up female and truly am a female. But my body can't read male hormones, so instead of growing into a man, my body "defaulted" into the female shape. I have a short vagine and breasts, but appear like a pre-pubescent 40 year old woman-no body hair.
The big lie was that the doctors didn't tell me my true condition because it would be "too painful" and so rare it wouldn't matter. They tell that to all people like me and God knows what to other people with other conditions. I can't believe doctors can lie to you like that! Well, turns out I don't have a uterus or ovaries and instead had internal undeveloped, non functioning testicles. They had to be removed so they wouldn't become cancerous.
My husband and very close friends and family know, but casual aquaintances do not. I simply tell people that I had to have a hysterectomy when I was younger and that is why my kids are adopted.
I'm not ashamed of it any more or even embarassed. I think people are born as they are and should never be ashamed. But lying to people about their conditions or the truth about their parentage just perpetuates that there is something to be ashamed of.
I just find it more convenient to just lie about it to most people, because it really isn't any of their business, and quite frankly, find it rude that people would pry into the reasons why we can't have children. That is kind of wierd anyway!
By the way-no one I've ever told thought it was ever a big deal and has never treated me any differently. Actually, most people find it rather intriguing.
I spend a LOT of time surfing the Internet at work...I mean a LOT...I'm really surprised I haven't been fired yet, but people just think I'm in there working really hard. I feel so guilty about it.
But something tells me that I am not alone here....
(8:32) Obviously I'm jealous. Nice family, her life is pretty damn near perfect. Sure her family have a few tiffs here and there, we hear about it but compared to our lives she's well off. Her parents do everything they can for her and she still finds some bullshit excuse to argue with them and complain about it. I have called her out on her bullshit many times and she takes offense, naturally. I was nice about telling her and even tried to help her. She doesn't learn. She has lied to her parents about SO much, they honestly don't know the real her. If they did she wouldn't live there anymore and she knows it. I have been dragged down with her more than a few times, her parents used to speak to me as if I were a daughter. My parents divorced when I was young and my accomplice has a messed up family. So make of that what you will. @10:07 Like I said I'm pretty much finished with it. I have better things I should be doing with my time. I deserve what's coming to me, that I don't deny.
My Dad has a degenerative neurological condition. It's been 10 years and he still hasn't accepted it or sought help (He actually thinks he's getting better). My family had tired and tired to talk to his doctors, but he lies to them and tells them we are conspiring against him (he was once a very smart man so now he just seems average or a little slow, but very paranoid). I know it isn't entirely his fault, but he has spread horrible lies about me (any my family) to extended family and friends. I dread the days I have to see one of them and try to explain the truth. One day he will get in a car accident and kill someone or himself and it will be on the doctors heads. I'm silently waiting for the day he dies so it can be over and I don't have to pretend to care anymore.
10:09 here. Okay, now I get it. You were nailed and she got away with it - and her family doesn't hold you in the same high regard anymore. Wash your hands of this woman and move on. You said it youself - she's dragged you down with her more than a few times.
(8:32) You're right 10:09, I was just about to say. Her parents think that I'm a bad influence on her. I'm really not, aside from this one shitty thing I did but I'm done with all that now. I just needed to vent. Thank you to everyone who responded, even those of you who hate me.
I spend around $80-$100 on gas every week driving around and around to simply get away from my family and be alone. I always have a reason why I'm going out-visiting friends, going to the grocery, going to the gym, etc. I drive with the radio always on and a cigarette always in hand. I'm kind of a closet smoker and hide it somewhat well. I've smoked 6 packs in the past week and it scares me.
I'm also turning 21 this month, and I'm terrified that I'm going to go overboard. In fact, I'm pretty sure I will. I am horrible at controlling my alcohol-my tolerance is very low(I'm 5'3 and 105lbs. People have expressed concern over my inability to control my alcohol, but I always laugh it off-"I'm young! It's not a big deal! Everyone drinks!" But trust that when a bottle is in reach, I will drink it no matter who is around, if anyone, or where I am or my obligations. I am very worried for myself, though I'll swear up and down to everyone there's no reason to worry.
8:32 - I had an exbestfriend like yours. She used her parents every chance she got....and her siblings and me for a stupid amount of years. She "dumped" me in favour of her most recent boyfriend & gambling & coke - third time since we were 12 and it was definitely the charm. If she wouldn't have fucked herself up on her own I would have definitely felt like you. I'm pretty sure her ex would have helped me diss her.
@8:32
10:09 here: I've been there with regard to getting the blame when it wasn't my fault. It sucks. You're not going to win them back, unfortunately. However, take satisfaction knowing that they will one day catch on when they keep seeing the same stuff, but with different friends.
10:51 PM- Yeah she pretty much did the same, I just didn't want to go into specifics. I've known her for more than half of my life. I feel pity for her some how, I don't know why I'm still around to be honest.
To 10:09, I think I stick around BECAUSE she's seen so many of her friends go. I don't think she's realized they've left because she can be a bit much sometimes.
Stop analyzing why you're still around (anger & habit) and take active steps to remove yourself from her life. Take baby steps if you have to - don't call her and take longer and longer to return the calls until you just stop returning them. Be polite, yet distant when you see her. No need to give her ammunition run you down to her parents.
When everyone bails, she'll have to take a look at herself and ask why. She may not admit the truth to anyone else, but she will to herself. Only then will change happen. It's all part of growing up. Learning that there are consequences to our behavior. I was a slow learner, unfortunatly ;-)
I lie to my friends about the state of my relationship. Their Boyfriends are crappy. I've been with mine over 5 years and we're happier then ever. We started off rough, but you'd never guess if you met us now (we're the obnoxious couple always holding hands and kissing and saying I Love You). I try to fit in by saying we have problems because it makes them feel bad to see how wonderful he is, and how douchey theirs are.
Fascinating stories, everyone. Thank you for sharing and I hope there are more here tomorrow.
Nighty night.
8:32/10:56 - 10:51 here - you care - I still do too. She was like my sister for too damn long....my freaking daughter is named for her. To let go of her was like mourning someone. Her family snubs me now - her lies have caused her family to blame me for her breakup from her long term live with boy friend...mutual people we knew are now my friends instead of hers because of the shitty way she treated them.
I had a similar ex-best friend who had a similar situation. She had everything handed to her, and always found a reason to blame someone else for her own lack of judgment. It pissed me off, not to mention many other of her now ex-friends and ex-boyfriends. I stuck a round because we had been friends since elementary school and she lived right around the corner. She was a sister to me. I stuck by her for far too long, despite the f-ckery she did to my self-esteem for years, while glorifying herself in the process. Literally referred to herself as "God's gift." I watched her lose her life to coke, booze, and abusive guys. Flash forward 15 years later, and I finally had had enough. She had become an enemy in my eyes, and I thought about teaching her a cold lesson nearly everyday for the last year of our "friendship."
But you can't kick someone when they're down. Don't stick it to somebody like that-they're already clearly sticking it to themselves. Don't further pull yourself into it. Find the exit door. I know that's so much easier said than done-I mean, like I said, I had grown up with her, we were sisters. But I couldn't do it anymore, she was pulling me down while pulling herself down and it's NOT WORTH IT. Enjoy YOUR life. Let her find her own way.
10:06 -- it has been 5 years and it is still affecting you on a very deep level, which is understandable. It's not so much getting over it as learning to live with it. I think the real issue here is that you were not heard. You were dissed and your sister certainly didn't handle it very well. Contact the local sexual assault center in your area for advice on coping techniques and/or counselling.
10:47 -- you know there's a problem. That's the first step. Congrats.
Thanks for the words everyone.
I've been having an on again/off again affair for over 5 years. I love my husband and him, in very different ways.
I'm scared I'll never stop loving the other guy... I'm scared I'll never forget him
I'm 33. And a virgin. Not by choice. More by circumstance and, at this point, mostly fear. I've only kissed two men--the last one almost 8 years ago. Almost no one knows. I'm pretty, witty, educated, professional, independent, engaging ... and a dirty girl behind closed doors.
But I honestly have no idea how to fix this and often wonder if I ever will.
I find a strange comfort seeing here that there are other people in my same situation. In its own, weird way, it's shameful and embarrassing. And probably on par with the shame of those who have had excessive sexual partners.
(And Anon 7:52, I had a gynecologist tell me several years ago after taking one look: "Wow. It's going to REALLY HURT when you finally have sex." Way to inspire confidence, huh?)
That she loved me.
Something for commenters to consider...copied from a blog that also uses Site Meter:
3. Did you realize that when you visit our blog and others, that your IP address and other information are publicly available in our Site Meter logs?
4. Did you realize that when you make an anonymous comment on our blog, it is possible to link up your IP address with your comment via Site Meter stats?
5. Did you realize that when you make an anonymous comment on our blog, our blogging software records your IP address, which could be subpoenaed?
I lie for convenience on a regular basis. But everyone thinks that I've absolutely honest. This may be why I always take other people's stories with a grain of salt.
One time when I was sick and had an STD my parents asked me if I had one, and I said no. Other times my mom said she thought I was gay and asked if I had ever been with another girl and I said no, even though I had. I feel bad lying about those things now because most gay kids would love to have parents like that, who are open and wouldn't have minded the truth.
11:55 Do you know about rotating IPs and proxy servers?
11:55 Unless something is a capital offense like murder, I doubt Enty gives a crap.
1:16 PM - Brad Pitt, is that you? Lol...
I've been trying to think of one (so i can use the anon option), but i can't. I haven't ever experienced anything as sordid as most of these comments - i feel so boring lol...
to the person about the sociopathic mentor- i'm right there with you. only i ended up "dating" the guy for several years! words can't explain the damage he's caused:
i'm about bankrupt thanks to being ran out of business. my debt has increased 5-fold since i met him.
i have no friends left. i went from friends everywhere to being paranoid of everyone around me. i'm actually pretty socially innept at this point. real conversations? i have to fake my way through them now, it's so uncomfortable at this point!
i'm also in recovery now.
i haven't dated in YEARS cuz i thought this guy eventually wanted to be with me. i don't know what a normal relationship is like. i'm a bit afraid to now.
there's more but i wont get into it all. sociopaths are majorly destructive. i'm glad to be getting away, but i'm still a wreck and a little bit in denial.
the biggest thing about it is that if you saw me or knew me, i'm pretty much the last person you'd think this would happen to. i'm not particularly good looking or anything, i just don't carry myself like the girl who this could happen to. now i know i never stood a chance all a long.
A lot of people who knew me then think I had an abortion when I actually had a miscarriage. Broke my heart. Took me a year to get over it, and I'm not sure I was ever really the same.
Ah well, whattya gonna do?
I have had two boyfriends that lied to me constantly. One said he wanted to marry me and was extremely possessive and always accusing me of cheating on him. Turns out he was cheating on me the whole time. I felt really dumb.
My other guy just lied about everything and anything and made a habit out of "disappearing." His mother would call me looking for me because she would find out he was fired from a job or stopped going and lied about it. One time he disappeared and I never heard from him again. Wierd. He was so adorable though, but a total lush.
Here is a truth I told that at the time felt like I should have lied, but now looking back am glad I told the truth. I was dating the man of my dreams and was totally in love with him. I wanted to marry him and probably would have. Only problem was he didn't want kids and I did.
Anyway, I was very insecure and thought he was cheating on me (he wasn't) and went out with some friends to a bar and got totally drunk. One of my friend's loser boyfriend's friend's was totally hot and I ended up with him, kissing. He was going to take me home. We went out for more drinks and left the bar and somehow ended up at a cheap motel. When we got there, I realized what the heck I was doing and told him I was sorry, but please take me home.
He decided he paid for the room and was going to get what he paid for. He violently raped me continuously over the next 6 hours, would not let me leave and suffocated me with a pillow. I thought I would die, so ended up complying the entire time. I tried calling 911 but only got the hotel clerk who refused to put me through because we hadn't paid the deposit. I begged him and told him I was being raped and he didn't care and refused to call for help.
Anyway-long story short, I decided it was best to tell my boyfriend the truth because it was too big of a lie not to tell him. As bad as he felt about what happened to me, he just could not forgive me for cheating on him and ending up in that situation in the first place.
He broke up with me and it made the most painful experience of my life unbearable. Now it is about 20 years later and I have a wonderful family and 3 beautiful children. I look back now and realize that he did not love me enough and he didn't even want kids. For all I know he's married with a bunch of kids now.
That said-that was a truth story and not a lie story. The lie is that I still google him and try to find him and have never stopped thinking about him.
P.S. The rapist got off scott free because they couldn't prove anything and the motel clerk said nothing ever happened. The rapist went and told everyone I know that I was crazy and a freak in bed. The nice thing is that while he was spreading that around, everyone in the bar chased him out of the bar into his car and bashed the crap out of his car and tried turning it over. He has never been able to show his face again. My brother told some people at work (very blue collar guys) and I know that he was given his just desserts, but don't know the details.
@2:28
I'm so sorry to learn you fell into the clutches of a sociopath too. It took me a little over a year to catch on and she'd done a fair amount of damage by then - to my self-esteem and to my reputation. However, I was lucky. I went (unofficially) to my boss and another fellow whose judgment I trusted. In short, they drummed her out of the company. They also discovered a couple of other people she was effing with and let them know what was up. Once we began comparing stories...wow. Word quickly spread and everyone knew what she was. Only then was my rep (which I didn't know had been damaged) was restored because everyone finally knew not to believe a word that came out of her mouth.
Again, I'm so sorry that you suffered so badly. If you're interested, contact me at ms.chickiepoo@gmail.com and I'll email you a fantastic article on sociopaths from Psychology Today. The best part is the six tips on how to avoid being a victim (again). I've posted this before and if anyone else wants the PDF, feel free to contact me too.
ENT, are you leaving the anonymous thing up? For how long?
TO THOSE WORRIED ABOUT BEING TRACED:
Don't worry, be happy. No one wrote anything so shocking that it would need to be subpoenead for court!!
Wow. Some of these confessions are really, really brutal. That is, if they are real.
Ent, I really enjoyed reading these. Thanks for doing it.
Enty I love you baby! I hope you are enjoying reading, and rereading in your parents' basement cock-eyed drunk!
Thank you everyone who was brave enough to tell your secret. Those of you who have the same one I do have comforted me more than you will ever know. And thank you Enty, for doing this. It's true that confession is good for the soul.
I thought I posted on here a few hours ago, but my comment isn't here. I must have incorrectly entered my password and not noticed :(
Long story short, everyone is very brave for confessing their secrets. I hope that those struggling with personal and self-esteem problems can find it in themselves to seek help. Tell someone who loves you and remember that you deserve to live.
Everyone with family issues can know they are not alone. We all obviously have our issues!
Everyone has skeletons in their closet. While some stuck to the bigget lie, most of us confessed our deepest secrets. It was pretty fun.
So, Enty.... YOUR TURN!!!
Bad Fish - I've been to Washougal! I don't live that far away. That's hilarious!
HOT DAMN!
You muthafuckers are CRAZY!
This is why I <3 CDAN!
ha ha Kara, I was sure there'd be someone here that would know the area and have a good laugh with me about that lie!
I'm probably too honest. If I screw up, I'll be the first to admit it. I hate lies, but also believe that honesty can be overrated. Rather than lie, I'll just stay quiet or answer a question with a question.
I tell lots of little fibs like "No, I did not buy another pair of shoes" or "No, I didn't go to the casino", silly stuff.
When I was younger, I've been told lots of crazy BS from married men.
I have been with a woman for 3 years and in the last 6 months lost all desire for her. We live together and looking at her makes me think of dirty laundry and dishes left on the counter full of rotting food. Its not that I don't have any desire. I want to fuck. Just not her. I actually con my way out of sex with her. She is sad because she knows something is up. I faked an orgasm the other night and she called me on it. Feigned ignorance and she said she " ...knows when I come and when I don't." Like an asshole I replied, "Obviously not."
I have been with a woman for 3 years and in the last 6 months lost all desire for her. We live together and looking at her makes me think of dirty laundry and dishes left on the counter full of rotting food. Its not that I don't have any desire. I want to fuck. Just not her. I actually con my way out of sex with her. She is sad because she knows something is up. I faked an orgasm the other night and she called me on it. Feigned ignorance and she said she " ...knows when I come and when I don't." Like an asshole I replied, "Obviously not."
To the person who won the lottery and feels bad about not sharing it with his abusive, neglectful family: Don't. Don't feel guilty. You got on with your own life and karma came and bit them where it counts.
And don't be in contact with them. For your own mental health.
A lot of these are great. I'm signed in so not confessing anything. Just letting some of you know who are having affairs with the boss etc. and no one knows? I guarantee you, people know.
I'm not judging and I don't care, and most people probably don't. But I can tell you from years working in ten million different offices...people know.
Hum .. well.. first I missed this by a few days to be anonymous. But I am fairly open about things and will totally admit to being an idiot in my younger years and having NO concept about other peoples feelings.
So .. got a few hours?? Well .. my biggest lie was telling a young man I was deeply in love with that I had been pregnant and had had a miscarriage. I had neither been pregnant nor had a miscarriage. I had - however - just found out 2 months before that I was very ill and would end up dialysis and needing a transplant. He had just broken up with me after - not three days prior - breaking through this huge emotional barrier by telling me he loved me. I found out later that he was quite sincere and that what I did to him really fucked him up for a long time regarding trusting people .. especially women.
I was shattered .. scared to be alone 500 miles from Chicago at university in Minneapolis and I just did the most idiotic thing I could think of to try to get him to stay. If I would have played it cool.. maybe my life would have been different. But that is not how it played out.
He still left .. hated me and I began to loathe myself, as well. Got myself addicted to mixing Ativan and Jose Cuervo [sp?] Gold or Absolut. Bumped into some really freaky people who turned me onto cocaine and S&M play for pay gig - thereby launching myself into a "Lost Weekend" that went on for about 8 months before I pulled myself out of the flat spin I was in. I pity a lot of the men I had under my control in that time .. though the Dom thing only lasted for about 3 months before I just couldn't even stand to be in my own skin. I was extremely cruel and self-hating and displaying any sort of weakness around me just reflected back ten fold to how weak I was and .. ugh! It was horrifying. I am very lucky - especially in the Ativan, cocaine, booze haze I was in - I didn't go too far and kill some poor guy.
For the most part, the people who do know have given me a pass when I told them. But it really isn't about giving me a pass because I had just found out I was basically dying. It was about me being 19 and really fucking stupid and hurting someone I adored terribly.
All in all .. a total "coulda woulda shoulda/if I knew then was I know now" moment.
As for biggest lie told to me .. I am sure there have been some, but I can't think of any at this juncture. Give me a few days and maybe I will come back to this and have one?!?
awesome work
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