Monday, May 18, 2009

Someone Who Hates Paris Hilton More Than Me


I didn't think it was possible to find someone in this world who hate Paris Hilton more than me. I didn't think it was possible that some other person would find the lowest form of life on earth even lower than I, but it turns out there is such a person, and he is rich. Apparently filthy stinking rich. The fact that Paris hasn't tried to seduce him with her wonky eyed Valtrex shuffle is baffling.

Anyway, the hero to which I am referring lives on the same street as Paris, but not for long if he has his way. It seems that Paris and her fame whore boyfriend Doug Reinhardt decided to move in together. They left the dogs back at Paris' old place or wherever she dropped them along the way. They currently pay $22,000 a month for their place. I'm guessing Dougie boy contributes about $500 plus some gas money now and then for his share. Anyway, our hero offered Paris and Doug's landlord an extra $5,000 a month above the rent if the landlord would kick them out. Yep. Our hero was willing to spend $27,000 a month just to not live on the same street as Paris. People don't make that it in a year and this guy was willing to pay it every month just to not have a neighbor. If I am the landlord I am jumping all over that. Rent money with no tenants to complain and you know that when the landlord gets the house back it is going to need a thorough cleaning. You know like the kind you would give if Pete Doherty came and spent the weekend at your house. Like Haz-Mat cleaning.

No word on whether our hero was successful, but with that kind of money I am sure he will make Paris' life torture. I'm wondering if he needs volunteer helpers or a son.

Oh, and to show you that Doug is only in this for the fame. And when I say in this I mean sacrificing his peen for the entire rest of his life for these 15 minutes. Anyway, Doug was confronted by the neighbor, and according to TMZ, Doug told the neighbor to get used to it because Doug and Paris were public figures and that's what you need to expect. Ummm, yeah.

24 comments:

AnonMom said...

$22,000 a month for their place?

Shit.

Mooshki said...

I love this man, whoever he may be.

MontanaMarriott said...

Uhm she RENTS?!?! Dumb ass!

Mooshki said...

Oh, and yes, $22,000 is almost exactly my take-home pay for a year. Fuck you, Paris.

warmislandsun said...

Why does anyone pay this trick for anything? who actually buys any of her shit? I can see the sex tape - people were curious, but the rest of the shit she peddles should be shut down. Stop the insanity and stop feeding money to it.

stiffkittens said...

LOL @ tags...


How is she rich, when she is so financially stupid?!

stiffkittens said...

warmislandsun - that's what the world wants to know..

McDooks said...

Enty that was spot-on, your take on Wonky's STD recipient also known as Dough whats-'is-nuts.
I hope the homeowner takes that neighbor up on his offer, if only so the whole world can laugh at her skank ass.

Damned Fallacy said...

I can't imagine renting to her. You'd have to have the whole place fumigated after she left. And Bob Dylan's neighbors thought they had to put up with foul odors from the Portapotty...

Suzanne said...

Bravo! If I also lived in that neighborhood, I would be so grateful to him for doing this.

califblondy said...

If she lived in my 'hood, we'd run her ass out in five seconds.

Christine said...

"wonky eyed Valtrex shuffle." It's like all the stars aligned and I was gifted with that phrase. It's perfect. Absolutely sublime.

lutefisk said...

Rich Guy is my new hero.

merrick said...

You gotta love a guy who puts his money where his mouth is, rather than Paris putting her mouth where the money is!

GladysKravitz said...

And apparently the cops were called about the noise, and Doug told them it was because Wonky was upset because that dog (is its name London?) escaped. Supposedly that's why there was screaming and yelling. Personally, I think it was because she found out that her pot was grown by an African American and her racist stupid ass was afraid she'd turn black as a result.

jax said...

thank god Lauren Conrad got to him first...these two are ick,nast personified.

Majik said...

More pictures of her crying, please...I find it strangely satisfying.

LauraM said...

WOW...Like lutefisk, I have a new hero...lol

nancer said...

i read this over the weekend and cheered out loud. this guy is seriously fed the fuck UP. (and obviously very rich.)

he could do this as a favor to humanity everywhere they rent---as a sort of public service. he'd be the albert schweitzer of hollywood!

Judi said...

The landlord is stuck for at least a year but I'm thinking that unless things change, they'll be moving at the end of this first lease.
This kind of public service shows that rich people can sometimes rock. Money give a person options.

shakey said...

Love Gladys's comment!

Too bad crotch-rot Hilton can't just fade away.

ardleigh said...

This man rocks! I would love that kind of power because I'd sooo pay someone to keep Parisite away from me.

I say we make a statue in this mans honor for trying to slay the Valtrex Skank.

nancer said...

shit, i'd break that lease if i was the landlord, citing 2 visits by the police and the vandalism to the cars after their 'party.' he'd get enough money from this benefactor dude to pay the court costs and i doubt a judge would punish him much. fuck paris and doug---i hope his dick drops off.

Chubby Mummy said...

Shouldn't that go under "Kindness"...seriously? I don't think I have ever read something on a gossip website that has made me smile such a genuine, happy, kick my heels up smile. What a wonderful man that Rich Guy is. What goes around comes around and that dude is going to get a life of happiness, sunshine and rainbows after that!