Friday, May 08, 2009

Ted C Blind Item

Enough with the retardalicious closeted gay movies stars. They're so two movie-weekend openings ago! Now, it's back to the straights being as predictably sleazy as only het (men, mainly) can be! 'Cause, let's just be honest here, the real creepsters are you opposite-sex folk out there.

And not the single ones, either: The ultimately dangerous dudes to watch are the one's who have wedding rings on their left hands. You'd think that piece of jewelry would remind Sock-It-to-You Sleazewad to not go and grope female private parts that don't belong to his wife.

Yep, the incredibly sexy Sock-It isn't just an incredible actor on screen, but off, as well. He makes you believe that all things are perf in that marriage of his—particularly when chatting to an equally talented and beautiful honey (how sorta Sean Penn of him).

But as usual in Hollywood, life is not as it's portrayed:

Sock-It isn't only sticking it to his wife (painfully so), but other babes in town, as well. And he likes 'em young, too. Legal of course, but youthful, vibrant and frisky. Maybe that's because that way, these conquests of Sock-It's are too naïve to know that a married alcoholic with a coke fetish and a penchant for slapping up his women isn't exactly a winner.

As for Sleaze's wife? Oh she knows what's going on. But this babe has such history with her man she's not going anywhere. Besides, she's caught in that hideous trap. The one Rihanna had hopes of climbing out of. Maybe she still does?

All women run when you see Sock-It lurching your way...to the police if you have to!

And it Ain't: Sean Penn, David Duchovny, Ben Affleck

35 comments:

Hilary said...

Josh Brolin

david said...

totally Brolin.
or possibly RDJ?

serious jerk. whoever he is. hope he gets his.

AnonMom said...

I hope its not Brolin, but all signs point to yes.

121007 said...

russell crowe perhaps ?

Goodgrief said...

Christian Bale

DNfromMN said...

it's a shame if it's brolin.

Oh, regarding the closeted gay stars 2 movie weekends ago: we had release of Fighting w/ Channing Tatum, Soloist w/ RDJ and Jamie Foxx, Informers w/ Billy Bob and Mickey Rourke.

vitazza said...

Think it's J. Brolin :(

Courtney said...

I'm more focused on the fact that this was hands down the most sense Ted's ever made.

Dan said...

DN - Jamie Foxx was the big guess for one of the gay blinds

Dan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mooshki said...

I'm just glad he "notted" our boy Affleck! :)

nancer said...

i'd say brolin. only because i wouldn't describe crowe as 'incredibly sexy.' he's kind of a schlub.

BinkyM said...

Just curious: What does Josh Brolin have to do with the "And It Ain't"s? (I can never see how people tie those things in until they do it, and then I'm VERY impressed!) Obviously, I can see the Sean Penn link, but the other two ...?

califblondy said...

Ya, what happened to Crowe? He used to be so cute. Even though I usually like guys who are a little thick (hear that Enty?), Russell looks like hell.

palealebrew10 said...

Brolin was the first to come to mind, too. Interesting. Not sure about the AIA connections though.

Kristen S. said...

I would describe Crowe as incredibly sexy. I saw him on one of the late-night talk shows recently and he's still got It.

But as dark & angry as he is, I doubt he's a closet wife beater.

shelley502 said...

I say Josh Brolin too. What an ass.

Pookie said...

*jumps aboard brolin train*

farmgirl said...

the AIA connections could be:

Sean Penn - obvious
David Duchovny - married to an actress - split up and now back together (didn't Josh & Diane do that?)
Ben Affleck - married to an actress

IDK - just musing

JS said...

I think was was commented on before was not that the AIA list all are possible answers to the blind item, but rather that you can use that list as a clue to find the actual answer. For example, an actor who was in movies with all three of those guys, or is good friends with those guys, etc.

JS said...

So, what other married couples have about equal talent...and are attarctive. I can only think of William H Macy and Felicity Huffman and I don't think they fit the bill for the last part

Josh and Diane
David and Tea
Sean and Robyn(Robin?)
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner
Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward :)

Katie said...

the rumors about brolin being a wifebeater have been around for awhile. he was arrested in 2002 for domestic battery but she didnt press charges. i think the blind item is someone else

Rocket Queen said...

Does Brolin have a reputation for being hung? ("painfully so") I like Brolin for this, too, but who honestly thinks their marriage is portrayed as perfect? They've had domestic disturbance issues in the past.

kanonymous said...

I think this is about a living actor. So that would rule out Paul Newman.

laura381 said...

He used "incredible" twice. It pains me to even suggest this, but...Eric Bana? Ugh. I hope not.

iheartstarlight said...

It is Josh Brolin. Back in 2004, he took a couple of slaps at his wifey Diane Lane. Here is the link: http://www.upi.com/Entertainment_News/2004/12/20/Actor-Josh-Brolin-arrested-on-abuse-charge/UPI-33901103569438/

And Not only does he hit his wife around, he also hits on an array of women even Sean Penn's soon to Ex- Wifey. Here is the link to that drama fo yo momma: http://www.celebitchy.com/13227/diane_lane_upset_over_husband_josh_brolins_arrest_issues_an_ultimatum_to_stop_drinking/

iheartstarlight said...

TED C, THIS WAS WAY TOO EASY! I guess Ted C got the hint that everyone is starting to get bored with his closeted gay movie star blind items.

Leah said...

HA! I thought it was Randy Gerber. ;)

nunaurbiz said...

Sean Connery. Famous for his line that women need to be slapped around every now and then to be kept in line.

sunnyside1213 said...

JS...that is a very good observation. They are all power couples.

Lauren said...

@Katie, why would the fact that these stories have been around for a while about Josh B & Diane eliminate him? Rather, I think it makes an even stronger case.

Anonymous said...

I know for a fact at 110% fact that Jamie Fox is not gay. He's a total man whore who will fuck anyone pretty much.

ardleigh said...

Wow Ted was really articulate and had his claws out with this one. He must REALLY hate Brolin.
I wonder what he heard to make him so upset? Josh hitting his wife and cheating on her isn't exactly new news. Something new must have happened.

Katja said...

someone who will f* "anyone" but is not gay. ok I'll buy into that but if you do f* same sex what are you then, exactly? ??

Katja said...

old blind=bruce willis??