The National Health Service of Britain is in a little bit of hot water. They have a new campaign out for school children that just cracks me up. It tells all school children that they should have five portions of fruits and vegetables every day. That is five more than I have, but I can see why they would encourage that. I mean I don't exactly lead a healthy lifestyle. They also suggest that you exercise three times a week for 30 minutes. Again, not something I am prepared to do, but I will watch an infomercial of someone exercising. I do find that amusing.
Now, most people would think the 30 minutes of physical activity would be jogging or some yoga. Maybe some kind of sport. I mean the idea for those of you who do enjoy exercise is to get some type of cardiovascular benefit from it so it make sense that the activity is something that makes your heart pump. Well, sports and jogging were not the first suggestions from the government. Nope. Their suggestion? "What about sex or masturbation twice a week? An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away."
When I was growing up I thought the slogan was an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Apparently now all I have to do is watch porn a few times a week and I get the same exact benefit. I wish I had that excuse when I was growing up. It would have avoided those uncomfortable, awkward knocks on the bathroom door. "What are you doing in there for so long?" "I'm exercising."