Friday, July 17, 2009

Who Carries A Fan To A Bar?


The Sun has a quick little blurb about Kylie Minogue and her boyfriend Andres Velencoso getting into an argument in New York. Since Kylie is not that big here and no one knows who the hell Andres is I was just skimming through it. Then I noticed that Kylie hit Andres which always makes the story more interesting. Then I saw the fact that she didn't use her hand or fist or anything like that. Nope. Kylie used a fan.

Apparently the couple were at B Bar in New York when they got separated. Big crowds, dark, it happens. Like most men Andres figured the best place to wait would be the bar. We do that because bars have alcohol, televisions playing sports and we don't have to walk around and around in circles looking like an idiot. We are firmly rooted to one position which makes it easier to be found. All walking around does if the other person is walking around is make two people angry. If one person is sitting and drinking and watching television they are probably not getting angry. Further, even when the separated party finds him and maybe starts yelling at him he won't really care because he is drunk and watching television.

Anyway, Andres was working this plan to perfection. Unfortunately for him, Kylie is a person who apparently has different rules for separation. She thought he would immediately rush outside and wait for her. So, when he didn't show up outside she went inside looking for him. She found him. See? I told you. Sitting in one place works. She was pissed that he was at the bar and had a drink and so walked up to him and slapped him across the face with her fan. Seriously? Was this like a paper one she made with napkins while she was waiting for him or some expensive one which probably hurts when slapped across a face?

I'm guessing Andres got up and walked out with her to the car. Head hung down in shame. He should have dated Danni. She is a drinker. She would know where to look.

17 comments:

Pookie said...

who takes a fan to a bar?

oh kylie. you look like cheese.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

Who brings a fan to a club? Who wears a tiara in the tub? Celebs do.

I don't know if that's a rhyme or a song, or what.

TCD said...

Her fan was named Robert and weighed 140 lbs.

kris said...

wow...her boyfriend is really cute...he can wait for me at the bar anytime...

empyrios said...

lol @ TCD

nice visual!

jax said...

i guess after Olivier she's keeping her men on a short lease.

she's not the perfect pixie princess people think she is.

warmislandsun said...

I don't get the thrill with her. I don't care for her music or looks, so I guess I just don't get it. Perhaps she should buy him a leash to feel more secure.

littlemanwhatnow said...

there are no tvs a b bar. and if it was a tuesday night, well that's beige which is gay. and gay men love her, so maybe she was scared he was getting with a dude. look at him! i would be!

Nutty_Flavor said...

Kylie seems to be kind of the Jennifer Aniston of the British Commonwealth. It looks like this relationship is not going to work out for her, either.

She needs to date her plastic surgeon, who would appear to be the gentleman she spends most time with, anyway.

shakey said...

lol, Nutty_Flavor - if being hit across the face with a fan doesn't make you want to run, then either a) you're pussy whipped, b) in it for the money, or c) you liiiike it.

Gayla said...

Am I the only one who was literally thinking a fan, like the kind you plug into a wall? I just imagined Kylie yanking the cord out of the wall, picking up that metal base, and really socking it to him, lol.

Or maybe it was one of those battery operated mini-fans that you can clip to a car window or carry in your purse, the ones that are supposed to help cool you off in hot situations although really all they do is move the hot air around in circles and blow your hair in your eyes in the process...like someone blowing hot breath in your face, just without the smell.

I think I gave this too much though.

Lisa (original) said...

I think perhaps she's menopausal and is having hot flashes and a hand fan is pretty, and a handy thing to have! It's a two-fer.

Way to keep treat your boy-toy Kylie. :-(

nunaurbiz said...

I used to have one of those mini-fans clipped to my purse (but then I live in the desert). Back when they allowed smoking in bars, I would reverse the flow so if someone sat next to me and lit up, it would blow their smoke back into their face and not mine :-)

ardleigh said...

Maybe she's taking a page out of Karl Lagerfelds book. He never went anywhere w/o his handfan.

It actually sounds like a bad joke.
A man walks into a bar with a duck under his arm...

A woman walks into a bar carrying a fan...

Bad Fish said...

OK you guys are going to think I'm a total cheeseball, but I did take a fan to a bar a few weeks ago.

But in my defense, it was a Derek Mays show, during a heat wave, and I knew the bar isn't air conditioned and I tend to throw up when I get too overheated. I basically huddled in an upstairs corner with my drink and once in awhile snuck a few fannings in. It hid well in my bag and I don't think anyone noticed. lol.

RocketQueen said...

Huh. This whole story smells fishy to me. Smells like spin and half-stories..?

That being said, I'm surprised. She didn't seem the type?

Diane said...

I'm with RocketQueen, this doesn't sound like something Kylie would do. Neither Minogue sister look like they'd be mean enough to do something like that. Perhaps it IS "spin and half-stories". Or perhaps it's wishful thinking on my "overprotective of Kylie" part.