Friday, September 25, 2009

Bad Flirt Hits The Torrid Fashion Show - Maximum Snark

It seems like only a few months ago when the band from Montreal came to stay at my place for a week. Well, thanks to the invitation of my mom, they are back. This time though I told them they would have to earn their keep and sent them out last night to the Torrid Fashion Show which was at The Fashion Institute Of Design & Merchandising or FIDM. The entire event was used to showcase not only the work of FIDM students but also to raise money for breast cancer research and honor plus sized women and designers who make a difference. It is a great event.

Here is their report. They didn't take any pictures but I am going to try and find some from the event and post them later.

The FIDM breast cancer research fundraiser was a strangely put together affair that brought the likes of Carnie Wilson, David Hasselhoff, Brooke Hogan, Lisa Ann Walter and ANTM cycle 10 winner Whitney. So yes, it was a Michael K wet dream. It was put together by Torrid clothing, which you may know as basically a Wet Seal for plus sized girls. The night was a celebration of overcoming breast cancer and girls embracing their curves.

Brooke Hogan kicked off the event performing 4 terribly written, horrendously performed "songs" backed up by some greasy looking b-boys and some super awkward back up dancers with bad posture. Brooke breathlessly spoke to the audience about the importance of breast cancer research, but was mostly concerned with where her bottle of water had gone and that the LA air was 'messing with her voice' Brooke Hogan is a lot like the Staypuff Marshmallow man from Ghostbusters if the Staypuff Marshmallow man was an obnoxious airhead who couldn’t even lip sync for 6 minutes or remember where she put her water. Her nervous rambling in between songs was so dreadful it became hilarious. Her performance was not very current due to her channeling Britney circa 1998 with ridiculous costumes and dancing. C’mon Brooke!

David Hasselhoff was in tow to present a humanitarian award to his smarmy, dimwitted but well intentioned daughter. He seemed pretty drunk, but spoke audibly and wore a very slick grey suit and a super ugly hat that some stylist got for him. His daughter, who is currently the face of Torrid, has apparently become a role model to plus sized girls across the country because of her modeling and charity work.

The absolute highlight of the night was Lisa Ann Walter who also received a Humanitarian award. Walter is the producer and creator of the wonderful and inspiring "Dance Your Ass Off". She spoke about her weight battles with honesty and humour and dropped the only F bombs of the night. She also started crying at one point and they were genuine tears. An amazing woman.

Finally, some soon-to-be-shelved Fefe Dobson type took the stage to sing her terrible single “Dollhouse”. We didn’t hang around to watch that train wreck, opting instead to grab some of the free food and booze that was in constant supply all night and our swag bag which had a cool shirt but was completely offset by the fact there was an Ed Hardy sample sized perfume. Really? At a fashion show? Ed Hardy?

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Havent got a google account and just wanted to say (considering aanyone can post for the next few days) I love your blog!!

Keep up the good work and the Blind Items!!

AJ

Mooshki said...

LOL! I love it! Enty, tell your mom to keep up the invites.

mygeorgie said...

Enty Mom's the best, no wonder you haven't moved out ;)

I'm lost though, who is the Canadian band?

Syko said...

I love this band without ever hearing a note of their music!

Jennifer said...

Hahahahaha - ditto to what Syko said. Love this band!!!

BigMama said...

made my day considerably better with just a few paragraphs. Thanks!

Unfortunate Couture said...

These guys sound great. Awesome review. And I admire their taste - Ed Hardy, indeed. I refer to it as "Douchewear", and its only redeeming quality is that it saves me the time of having to actually speak to someone to determine whether or not they're douchebags.

nunaurbiz said...

Thanks, Enty! We plus-sized women love reading about events like this. Love Torrid! Love Enty even more!!

MWAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

H said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

i assumed the band was bad flirt (from the title of the post).

Mooshki said...

Yep, the band is Bad Flirt. Search for them on YouTube if you want to check them out.

AnonMom said...

"So yes, it was a Michael K wet dream"

lol ... awesome

Mooshki said...

I loved that too, AnonMom. They are obviously our kind of people. :)

lilbitsolo said...

I love Lisa Ann Walter, she is hilarious....

shakey said...

This is good snark. Well written, my friends. Well written.