Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Jon Gosselin Is Mr. Cheese


This could quite possibly be the biggest hunk of cheese you will see all year. "Whatever you do, don't fall in love with me, because it's going to be impossible for me not to fall in love with you."

That cheese apparently worked on Stephanie Santoro because shortly after Jon Gosselin said those words she had sex with him and spent the night. Of course since they were already naked in a hot tub when he said them he probably could have saved them for someone else. Like one of his other girlfriends or a soap opera.

Stephanie, who is one of the babysitters employed by Jon gave an exclusive interview to In Touch about their sex time. Meanwhile her mother gave an exclusive interview to RADAR where she said Stephanie said that Jon said he wanted to kill himself. That must have been right after he looked in the mirror and saw he was wearing Ed Hardy. I don't mean to make light of people talking about suicide. I'm just saying that if you see yourself in a mirror wearing Ed Hardy that thought is going to pass across your mind.

Oh, and just in case you decide you want some of the Gosselin love machine for yourself. Be prepared for the fact that as soon as he finishes he falls asleep. "We continued what was going on in the hot tub, and then he fell asleep afterward."

Yeah, well if he stayed awake he probably would just feed you some more cheese anyway and at least once he fell asleep you could sneak out and hope no one ever knew you did it. I sure wouldn't sell my story to a magazine and let the world know I had sex with him. Apparently $200 and an In Touch subscription was too much to pass up though for Stephanie. Oh, this is the one who wanted to be a model. Well, yeah, that explains the hunger for publicity then. I can't wait until the reality show where all the people Jon has had sex with get a show together. Oohh, it can be a dating show and the winner gets to marry Michael Lohan.

19 comments:

Quintessential Southerner said...

keep the jon gosselin sex stories coming! luv 'em.

Quintessential Southerner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
linnea said...

hahaha, a shot at jon... amazing entertainment. I almost want Kate to come in as a guest judge

Tara said...

God, this crap is making holier than thou Kate look much better than poor stupid Jon. He seems like such a douche.

Karmen said...

Ugh. Sad thing is that there are plenty of douches out there just like this who feed the same lines to unsuspecting women just to get in their pants. Manipulative jackasses like this piss me off so much.

Carissa said...

These women can see, right? I mean, they have no visual disturbances? Good lord, what are they seeing in him???

Patty said...

I still like him better than Kate, but boy he's making it difficult.

jlb said...

I really wonder if there is going to be a need for a new kind of psychology in the not too distant future - one for the kids who's lives have been forever affected by their parents & their lives in the media. I think there's going to be quite a few kids who will have some definite emotional trauma when they get old enough to start reading and searching the internet.

BigMama said...

Kate must cringe every time this stuff comes out. Can you imagine what his older girls endure at school. They are what? Nine now? Does he honestly think that kids at school aren't telling them about this stuff? If they aren't yet, they will soon.

Ms Cool said...

Don't waste real cheese on him. He's more like Velveeta.

evergrey said...

I second BigMama's comment. I was thinking the same thing. NOW the girls are going to know that he was having sex in the house with them there. Ewwwww!!

Sporky said...

*vomit*

Sylvia said...

She sure has a big smile on that cover. I guess she isn't embarrass.

RocketQueen said...

This just shows how many fame whores there are out there, because they can't POSSIBLY be attracted to this douche.

__-__=__ said...

I think those kids are already old enough to get on the internet. Sad.

figgy said...

I just can't wait till one of his famewhores reveals that he has a teeny weeny peeny.

Cuz you KNOW he does.

ardleigh said...

Why would you brag about that? It's more a duck your head in shame kinda thing.

ureallyannoyme said...

Interesting thought, Figgy. Not like they're trying to be discreet so why no intel on the Gosselin peen?

Shudder.

bionic bunny! said...

gawd, i had HIGH SCHOOL boyfriends spout that kind of crap. of course, i went to high school in the '70s, so i bought it hook, line and sinker!