I read about the whole Cindy Crawford extortion thing last night and maybe I was already too drunk, but I am trying to understand this whole thing. Should we do this together? Maybe it will help if I talk it out.
1. Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber have a child.
2. Cindy Crawford & Rande Gerber hired a nanny for the child.
3. The child, who was 7 at the time gets photographed by the nanny bound to a chair and gagged.
4. Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber have no idea such a photograph exists.
5. Cindy Crawford & Rande Gerber forget they have a child.
6. When finally her parents thought to ask about her day several months after the fact, the child says they were playing cops and robbers.
7. The nanny is lonely at work and has a model come over and spend some adult time with her
8. The model at some point sees the photo and takes it.
9. He also takes a copy of a note the nanny wrote which is a “joke” kidnap note.
10. The nanny is fired for something unrelated.
11. The model meets with Rande Gerber and is paid $1000 for the photo and copy of the note.
12. At some point the model gets arrested and deported back to Germany.
13. From Germany he attempts to extort more money from Gerber and Crawford who notify the cops.
OK, so here are my questions. The guy was arrested for what? Extortion? I know he was deported on an immigration violation. Is Rande Gerber such an idiot that he thinks a photo made from a digital camera is the only one? And a copied note? Really? How is any of this extortion? Is the model going to sell the photos and say that Crawford and Gerber like to play bondage games with their kid? Really? There is waaaaaaaaay more to this than we are hearing right now.