Previously on The Lindsay Lohan tapes.
Lindsay: (crying) Mommy doesn't like me daddy so I punched her in the face. I had to do it because you left us and I couldn't handle it.
Michael: (cash register sounds in his head) You punched your mom? Tell daddy all about it.
Now, for a very special episode.
Dina: Guess what Michael? Your daughter is completely f**ked up for two reasons. You and she dated Heath Ledger.
Michael: (cash register sounds in his head) She dated Heath Ledger?
Dina: Yeah she was well, I don't know if you would call it dating but I would drop her off there and they were close, very, very close.
Michael: (slot machine sounds) Do you have any pictures? Video?
Dina: When he died it really f**ked up Lindsay. Do you know that when she is not sleeping with some random guy and is at home that she sleeps with me? She does that because of what you did to our family.
Michael: What? You mean be an a-hole and have a love child in the week we were separated?
In tomorrow's episode we find the couple hatching a plan to make more money off their daughter and trying to sell the youngest daughter to some sheik.