Friday, November 06, 2009

Rihanna On Good Morning America

Rihanna was back on Good Morning America this morning and will be on 20/20 tonight. Today's installment is much more interesting than yesterday's installment. Today Rihanna says she still loves Chris Brown. She doesn't actually talk about taking him back which is what she supposedly talks about tonight. She does describe what happened in the car that night back in February though and it is worth the five minutes of your time.

33 comments:

Alice D Millionaire said...

Obviously what happened to her was horrific and I am not blaming her for the incident at all but I think either this site or another one mentioned that he has an album coming out and that bothers me. I guess she deserves to capitalize on it if she wants to but it still doesn’t sit right. I don’t listen to Rihanna so I could be wrong about the album coming out.

RocketQueen said...

Whether or not she has an album out, I'm just glad she's talking about it. Too many people were able to make excuses for Chris until now, no excuses are left. I found her to be extraordinarily honest, and let's not forget it was inappropriate for her to speak for a long time right after the incident due to the court case.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

I find it interesting how she says she had no way home other than to walk. Um, aren't you a celebrity? Can't you call one of your "people", or failing that, a taxi? Flag someone down...there's options. I don't want to assume anything, or make false claims, but do you figure that if it hadn't of been for the cops getting involved, they'd still be together and they wouldn't have told anyone what happened?

Harriet Hellfire said...

I agree...she may have an album coming out but that doesn't take away from the fact that she is talking about it. So many women need to hear her talk about it.

Quintessential Southerner said...

i'll be watching 20/20 tonight for sure.

Alice D Millionaire said...

Sue Ellen I agree. I think the only reason she isn't with him is because her handlers are preventing it because it is bad for her image and because of the restraining order. It is sad. Abuse victims have such a hard time walking away. It is hard for me to understand but (fortunately) I have never been in an abusive relationship.

Caroline said...

I hope she never goes back to him.

notachance said...

Sorry, but she could've talked when there was no album hitting. This was done by design. Yes, it's good for her to raise awareness, but please do it when it can't be tied to a monetary benefit to you or your people. You shame it even more IMO.

feraltart said...

Sue Ellen,
I think Rihanna was in shock after being belted. You don't always think straight when something like this happens. Also, it has taken her a long time to speak out, and I believe she may have dreaded being humiliated by anyone else knowing what had happened.
I am concerned that comments are blaming the victim. The sad truth is that the abuse starts with psychological tearing down of a person, so by the time the physical assaults start the victim is a shadow of themselves. My first marriage was mentally, emotionally and verbally abusive, and I look back and can't believe I stayed with the jerk for any length of time. Luckily I was never physically abused, but then again if he'd ever hit me I would have charged him. The psychological stuff is so damaging, and even after I kicked him to the curb he put my address down as his when he enrolled to vote, and I had to sort it out. A few things like that even 3-4 years after we had split. Haven't had anything happen for awhile now and have been with my second, wonderful husband for over 10 years. I wish Rihanna all the best.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

Alice:

We're on the same page. I figure there is massive psychological damage done to victims of abuse before the fists start flying. I mean, you must have to break someone down quite a bit to get them to a point where they can't walk away from someone who hits them.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

feral:

I'm not blaming her one iota. All I am saying is that there are options, and in certain situations innate human instincts kick in called fight or flight. Either you you hit back, or you get the hell out of dodge, or both. Also, based on the frequency in which abused people say in relationships, I am making an educated guess that they would still be together had it been kept quiet. I never blamed her for it, I just gave a possible senario.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

*scenario. forgot the c

Cheryl said...

I don't think people are blaming the victim here (they are on some other sites) but Rhianna, and Chris Brown esp. have gotten a lot of publicity out of this and they have management who obviously want all of this to work in their favor.

Abuse is real and serious, but Rhianna had more resources available to her than the average battered wife or girlfriend. It just looks bad talking and giving interviews when they have upcoming projects.

kimmypie1 said...

I am glad she is talking about it now (even though her album most likely influenced it).

But...I wonder if her finally deciding to leave him for good had anything to do with the court order to stay away from him or go to jail.

Even if we words are not genuine, some young girl in her situation will hopefully say to herself "well Rhianna left him, so can I" and it just may save her life.

kimmypie1 said...

even if *the* words, not we

BigMama said...

I am glad she is speaking out. Too bad other victims do not have managers, record execs and other handlers ensuring that they don't walk right back into the same situation. I wish her well, but I also hope she addresses the fact that her celebrity has garnered her alot of protection and support that most young women (or older women for that matter)don't get. I would hate to have the world watching while I went through something like that, however, it also seems to have forced her to make some very hard decisions.

Syd said...

She is really hard to understand.

Caroline said...

Rihanna obviously has opportunistic PR people who either had her wait until now to discuss this, or are making her talk about it now, all to promote an album. I feel sorry for this girl for many reasons -- but why hasn't she done anything but talk this week? Are there any plans to support anti-domestic violence groups, raise money for awareness and shelters, etc.?

Drcocks said...

She doesn't owe it to anyone to say or do anything. So whatever she does now that might help another abuse victim is great, but, not a requirement. We live in such a self entitled society that we believe she should act, speak, etc. in a certain amount of time or manner that we approve of. And forget the fact that you may have no fucking idea what she has been through or feeling. I too suffered at the hands of someone else and almost 3 years after leaving him I still have people telling me what I should have done, when and how and why. All I can say is, "walk a mile in her mocassins," then spout your words of wisdom. Just because she is a celebrity does not mean she owes you anything, including an explanation for her actions. Unless you have been in that same situation you have no idea how muddled your thought process is. It took me almost 2 years to begin to think clearly again. The important thing is she is out.

mygeorgie said...

Sue Ellen "in certain situations innate human instincts kick in called fight or flight. Either you you hit back, or you get the hell out of dodge."

There is actually a third recourse: Freeze. They discovered this after studying 911 trama worldwide. Freeze & do nothing in times of stress & panic. I know this is my behavior pattern and likely Rihanna's after being beaten, what 8 times prior?

I don't care about the timing. At least the girl is talking & the little douche can't bowtie jetski outta this one.

BigMama said...

*big Hugs@ Drcrocs* Your right, alot of us don't know and are extremely lucky.

sunnyside1213 said...

DRcocks...I have walked that mile and it took a miscarriage brought on by a beating to wake me up. The last time he tried to beat me up, I put a steak knife through his hand and went to the airport.

Drcocks said...

sunnyside1213 said.
I am so sorry for your miscarriage but thank god you are out. I will send love and happiness your way.

Mooshki said...

Sue Ellen, didn't he break her phone? And would you really want to flag down a stranger? I wouldn't. :(

Anonymous said...

Sue Ellen--I hope you never have to live through a domestic violence situation, really I do. But until you have been there there is no way you can tell someone what they should have done. Men who are abusive usually start slowly isolating you from anyone who matters in your life, and then make sure you are completely dependant upon them before they start beating the shit out of you. Most of the time you are in shock that you got hit, and then are too busy trying to dodge the punches to think of much else. Who are you going to run to? Who do you turn to when all those sources have been cut off by Mr Wonderful? And then the next day while you are still addle brained from the abuse, along he comes all smooth and loving promising heaven and earth that it won't happen again. Yes women get caught up in this kind of situation no matter how careful and cautious they are, and yes most women are stupid to believe their abuser won't do it again, but usually they truly don't nave the power within themselves to walk away.

Anonymous said...

I just saw the 20/20 interview and am not sure she's totally through with him. In regards to the restraining order for them to stay at least 20ft. from each other she says she thought that was ridiculous and it was "like a spectacle". I have no idea what she was talking about.

Second when Diane Sawyer asked if she felt they would ever get back together she said, "I don't know. Never say never".

I worked with DV victims and I did not hear recovery in her conversation. What I actually heard was that she was convinced (by her employers) that going back to Chris would be bad for her career and that she would be at fault if some other girl followed her example, went back to their boyfriends and was killed.

I did not hear Rihanna say that she was concerned for her own safety if she went back to Chris.

I'm sad for her because she's still in denial about the PHYSICAL danger she'd put HERSELF in if she goes back to Chris.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

You can all spare me the lectures, ok. I gave a bloody scenario and asked a question. Sorry I don't take things at face value and ask questions about things.

Firecat said...

mygeorgie you're so right, freezing is the reaction for me. Alas, it did little to protect me from M. Nice Husband turned M. Violent.

mygeorgie said...

Firecat: I'm a freezer too. Learned to at a young age from having the shit beat outta me on a monthly basis. It is still my coping mechanism. It's very delibitating.

dbfreak said...

I actually understand both sides: those who question her intentions and those who know what it's like to be in that kind of situation.

I know I've posted on here multiple times about the verbal, mental, emotional and sexual abuse that my ex-husband put me through and so I understand that it can take a while to talk about it, especially publicly. It's humiliating once you get out of the brainwashing fog to realize how long you put up with something so bad : ( I remember when I was just starting to realize what was going on that some of the first people who I told were you guys, under the cover of my screen name. Having the support of the CDAN community helped me to get out. I thought I was going crazy because my ex never admitted he was abusing me until I left and we went into counseling (which didn't work, but I tried). He would say that I'm imagining things, I'm just a bad wife, you made me have sex with you while you were asleep (!?!).

I always had considered myself a very strong person, and that didn't jibe with what I was allowing to happen to me.

Before I had this experience, I couldn't understand why people didn't just leave either - but as someone else said, before the physical abuse, there is a campaign of psychological breaking down that SERIOUSLY muddles your thoughts. It's hard to explain (I've tried my best here but I don't think I'm communicating it very well) and almost impossible to understand until you've been in a similar situation.

I was lucky - I got out when I felt that things were going to start escalating to physical abuse. Right before that, I could almost feel that it was going to happen and I fled my house in the middle of the day when he was at work.

One more thing - I know the timing of Rhianna's talking about this seems EXTREMELY suspect due to her album coming out, but I agree with others who have stated that she couldn't have gone on the publicity trail without being asked about what happened to her. She probably still isn't ready to talk about it in a public forum, but due to her having to do press for her album, she really doesn't have a choice : (

Firecat said...

mygeorgie, so nice of you to comment back. I was not hit as a child, but my father was incestuous - without violence. I was a child and I saw no evil in it, until I understood at about 12-13. And I was not frozen with fear back then, since I stood up to him and told him he was not allowed to touch me ever again. Of course, then he abandoned me by letter to my mother's side of the family. And she divorced.

dbfreak, how did you know it was escalating into physical abuse ?

M. Violent never hit me but the social services told me recently he had gone through all the stages of psychological abuse and that physical abuse was next.

As for sexual abuse, I don't know if it qualifies : I had to initiate sex every 1-2 day "or else he would divorce". And he knew I was desperate to keep the marriage, since baby #3 was not yet 1.

Once I felt it was so wrong that I thought about packing my things and my children and leaving - but it cooled down. Eventually he left by himself (I guess now he had a woman in town - and he had a letter from me he thought he could use to commit me to an asylum), and I've never let him come back. Though he's still trying through the kids. That's why I'm never alone when he brings them back from WEs.

It seems we're on the same path (to recovery, I hope). But I'm still not quite certain inside it was abuse, he always made me feel I was a worthless human, already rotten by my abusive father.

I'm pretty new to technology, so is there a way we could get in touch through blogger ?

canadachick said...

still think this would never have even made the news if a random bystander hadn't called 911 - I don't think she wouldve ever have had him charged on her own and i think they'd still be together

dbfreak said...

Hi Firecat, just caught up with my email and read your post.

I'm not sure how to get in touch via blogger but if anyone else can tell me, I would be more than happy to lend whatever support I can.

I went to a local women's shelter when I was trying to figure out if I was being abused or not (the brainwashing is just SO powerful) and when they did the intake survey on me so that I could go to the support groups, they also did a lethality assessment on my ex based on what I told them - they told me I had a better than 50% chance that he would kill me if I stayed : ( Some of the reasons they gave was that the verbal and mental abuse was escalating, he had started to "play" at doing physical things, like poking me and kicking me in butt (not hard), he "jokingly" threatened to kill me and kill the cats I brought into the marriage and he had a gun.

Along with that, I could just feel it in my gut. The screaming, putting me down, etc. was getting so bad that I felt like hitting me was the next "logical" step.

One suggestion I would give you is to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (don't have the number offhand, but you can get the number by googling it). They can refer you to a place similar to where I went that is local to you.

If all else fails and you can't find that number, please respond back to this post and I'll find the number for the National Domestic Violence hotline and post it here for you.

From what you've said, it does sound like physical abuse is next and I urge you to get out as soon as you can. I feel like I got out just in time to avoid being hit.