Friday, January 16, 2009

Four For Friday

This is going to be very hard for you to solve, but thought I would share it since you shared stories on Your Turn. This is not my best day, but it was a memorable day for sure. This happened awhile ago. It didn't happen as long ago as that Las Vegas hotel room blind though. Yeah, if you want to look that one up you will need to find it.

Anyway, at the time this happened a few years ago, all of the people involved were on a (#1) very funny network show that was not quite a big hit. It tried, and had an audience but it only lasted a few years. Not quite enough episodes for syndication.

(#2) Well one of the leads in the show had a party at his house. He is a C list actor, although at the time he was probably B because of a relationship he was in. He has really made his name based on two television shows and a relationship. I don't think he has ever done a movie.

So, the lead had a party at his house and I got dragged there by a friend of mine. One of the things that I noticed right away was that while most of the parties I had been to involved drinking games, this group of people had coke games. Instead of quarters they played games like fastest to do three lines of coke. Yeah, good times. To be fair, sometimes they would mix things up and include doing a shot and then three lines of coke. If you were last, you had to get up from the table and the free coke and had to let someone else sit there.

(#3)Anyway, the absolute clear winner in all of this was a woman who is, honestly a D list actress now and was probably a C list actress then, despite being one of the leads on the show. She just could not be beat. If there were a table of six she would beat them all every time, and would keep beating them repeatedly. Plus she showed no signs of it affecting her. It also seemed like she had no friends there and this was her one way of connecting with the group. She is actually on a series now as a regular, but it is her first regular job since the other show went off the air.

(#4)The clear loser almost everytime was probably the best known actor of the bunch. He will probably be a permanent B lister based on a few key roles (both television and film) in his career. He was older than the rest of the cast, but they loved him. Mainly because he always lost so they got to keep playing, but also from what I understand he paid for the entire amount of coke. It was a ton of coke.

There were about 30 people at this party, but to the six or seven people sitting at the table all they could think of was to keep playing that game. They didn't notice anyone or anything beyond that game. The rest of the attendees at the house were laughing and drinking or not drinking and having a great time. The people at the table just seemed to only care about the next round of the game.

When Verne Drinks




Aaaah, the good old days. When Verne Troyer got drunk on The Surreal Life and decided to use a corner of the living room as his private urinal I never thought it would get any funnier. Actually it hasn't. That is one of the best moments on television ever. Well, Verne didn't do that this time, but Verne did get hammered on champagne and then proceeded to crash his scooter into a wall and fall off. If anyone can find the video of this or him getting drunk, please send it to me.

Thanks Chloe

Random Photos Part One

Andrew Wyeth - RIP (the painting is entitled "Christina's World")
Ashton Kutcher doing whatever he can to get a free flight to Sundance. You would think he could spring for his own private jet.
This is a show called Absinthe which is playing in Melbourne. I actually think it would be more fun to watch while actually drinking Absinthe. The guy is strong, but is the woman behind him holding him up in the air?
A first time appearance for Andy Serkis in the photos.
Black Tide - London
This press tour just keeps getting better. Do you think they actually even speak to each other? I mean at this point, if you are a producer of this film, are you getting a little ticked that two actresses can't act like they get along. When you are in a film that is quite likely the worst film of the year and you hate your co-star, it sucks, but you still got paid, and so you need to suck it up.
Hoobastank - Park City, UT
Isla Fisher in Allure.
James Tupper and the future ex Mrs Tupper also known as Anne Heche.
I love Lady GaGa, but the Minnie Mouse thing might be a little too much. I can handle the all black latex outfit, because, hey, who among us hasn't dressed up from head to toe in latex, but the Minnie hair is kind of crossing the line from good taste.
Hey, Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway, look. It's two co-stars who seem to enjoy company of one another or at least can pretend. Take notes.
I can't believe Nick Cannon was let out of the house alone. He must have done all his chores so Mariah let him out to play.
I guess he is enjoying the freedom and, it doesn't look like he is wearing any kind of tracking device.
Happy late birthday to Orlando Bloom who is still with Miranda Kerr. Of course.
Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly.
Can you tell that Prince Philippe of Belgium has probably not driven a car in quite some time. "What, what's this round thing here?" "It's called a speedometer sir."
So which came first in the mind of artist Rosson Crow? The hat or the painting?
Speaking of hats, I have no idea what that is on Robert Redford's head, but I hope that isn't a beret.
I will let all of you decide what is on Spike Lee's head. I think it is a fur lined Yankees hat, but why?
I bet all of those DVD's were on ebay about an hour later with a copy of the photo of Tom Cruise signing them.
Taylor Momsen would like the world to know she does not party. "I'm 15. I don't go out. I stay home every night and just play my guitar." Umm, yeah.

Your Turn

So, for today, I thought we would move slightly away from the trivial and instead do something that requires a touch more writing than shower or bath. What I want today is your best day. Sure, you can give me some kind of stock answer like the day you were married or the day your child was born. Sure, those are great days. But what about the day you skipped school and went to the beach and the day never seemed like it would end. Or about that time you snuck on to Van Halen's tour bus and you partied with them through 3 states and 4 bottles of Jack. I will accept the stock answer, I just want you to think about it before you automatically just put it down.

Next week we will get back to the trivial.

Quick Hits Part Two


When Stunt Casting Jumps The Shark - Everyone always talks about then shows jump the shark. That point in time where it is just one steady downhill run to the end. Jumping the shark often happens as a result of stunt casting. But what happens when stunt casting itself jumps the shark. EW is reporting that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are going to be in CSI:NY as a Bonnie and Clyde type couple. There is some point where the drive for ratings totally destroys any credibility a television show has, and I think this is that moment.

I've Heard That One Before - Johnny Knoxville was detained, but not sent to jail or accused of being a terrorist when he tried to bring an inert grenade onto a plane at LAX. His excuse was the same one I have heard almost every time this happens. "I forgot it was in my bag." OK, presumably this bag is one that you travel with all of the time. So, did you forget to take it out after the last time you traveled? Same goes with the guns, knives and every other item that celebrities seem to carry in their bags and forget about. I understand this grenade was a prop. It was not going to off, but it was still a real grenade, and an unloaded gun is still a gun. I sometimes forget a pair of socks in my luggage, but I am pretty sure I am going to remember where I left my grenade last time I finished playing with it.

Baby News - Bear Grylls' wife Shera gave birth to their third child. Proving that Bear is a celebrity they named their kid Huckleberry Edward Jocelyne Grylls. His best friend growing up will be Deputy Dawg. Oh, and good luck ever fitting that name into a standardized form. "There aren't enough bubbles teacher." In other baby news, Kimora Simmons is going to reproduce again. At least the kid will have a chance because the dad is Djimon Hounsou who is a good looking guy.

Disappointment News Of The Day - In what has to be one of the most disappointing pieces of news in quite sometime, Jenna Fischer has betrayed me. She has allowed her publicists to turn her into something she isn't and made her just another shill trying to move up the ladder in Hollywood. She did this thing for Self Magazine where she let them photoshop her to a point where her own family wouldn't recognize her, and then made her follow some regimen which had her using a crock pot and how it improved her sex life because she and her boyfriend could come home and eat right away and still have time left over for sex after. I hate these kind of articles and am utterly dismayed and shocked that Jenna let herself be talked into one. She will never live down this quote.

"Since we didn't have to cook [at night], it left time for hanky-panky!" she says, adding that it's "the best invention since the microwave for busy women who want a home-cooked meal."

Seriously? All of this sentence makes me cringe, but the hanky-panky and, oh, never mind. Jenna, Jenna, Jenna. How could you do this?

Quick Hits Part One


That Was A Costly Escort - Boy George was sentenced to 15 months in prison today for chaining an escort to his bed and then attempting to beat the escort with a chain as he fled George's house. The judge said such behavior deserved immediate imprisonment. It's funny. 15 months seems about right for what happened, but you get so used to celebrities getting away with everything that it almost comes as a shock when one gets found guilty, let alone sentenced to actual prison time.

At Least She Didn't Lose Her Valtrex - At some point during her brief sojourn to Australia, Paris Hilton lost her cell phone at a hotel in Sydney. That was later found and returned to her. She also lost her camera which she really would like to have back because it has a bunch of personal photos on it. Considering that we have seen Paris naked, having sex, doing drugs, and anything else that could cause backlash, the photos are probably really unexciting. If they involve her and Brandon Davis, that would even be more unexciting. The Bongo Virus staff are the ones who sent out the press release asking for help finding the camera so I guess it is legit. Of course the stolen jewels seemed legit too.

He Brought Gwyneth? - Craig Rudin is a guy who is running for the mayor of LA. He is also a huge supporter of pot and runs a store that sells supplies. He told Globe Magazine about how Brad Pitt used to be his best customer. That isn't a shock so I don't really care about that. What I found interesting was that one time while they were dating Brad brought Gwyneth into the store with him. Rudin said that Gwyneth looked as if she could not wait to get out of there. I'm guessing that since Gwyneth hates chocolates and kind of munchies food that she is not a huge pot smoker.

NY Daily News Blind Item

What funnyman’s wife caught him in bed with another man? Sister straight-up dumped her dude after catching that class act.

Richard Talks To Razorlight


I love the way Richard writes and delivers the snark, and so when an opportunity came up for an interview with the band Razorlight, I knew it would be something that would be entertaining for everyone. What started out with such great promise though, turned out to be a media nightmare, as apparently the guys in Razorlight are popular. Who would have thunk it. A one on one interview with the entire band morphed into a phone interview with the band's drummer.

I am not trying to drive readers away from the blog but I need you go over to the Razorlight website http://www.razorlight.co.uk/ click on ‘video’ and listen to ‘Can’t stop this feeling I’ve got.’ Since all of you are loyal readers I know you’ll come back – whether it is for the return of Full Frontal Fridays or my snark, I know you’ll be back (if you read that in an Arnold accent you just lost a couple of points).

Those of you who have read my comments in the past probably think I am just an old curmudgeon who complains about everything (if you saw the presents my parents gave me as a child you’d understand, but I digress). Actually, I am an eternal optimist and that is why I put on my hip boots and wade through all of the crap that is out there. Considering some of the things I have covered you know that it got pretty deep sometimes but what keeps me slogging through the sh*t is coming across a band like Razorlight. If you didn’t follow my directive in the first paragraph because you have control issues and don’t like being told what to do, get over it and go listen now. You will thank me later (adding sir is optional).

Though Razorlight’s self-titled second album debuted at #1 on the UK albums chart when it was released in 2006, the band has been, for the most part, flying under the radar in the US . Apparently their song ‘Golden Touch,’ off their album Up All Night, was used for a Pontiac commercial – though since I haven’t owned a TV for the past five years I can’t verify that fact. Golden Touch is a great song but given the state of the US auto industry, you have to wonder who decided on that as a strategy to get the group into the living rooms of America . Maybe that explains why they haven’t received the recognition they rightly deserve.

In any case, hopefully that is about to change as Razorlight embarks on a tour to promote their new album, Slipway Fires. Musically, Razorlight is an intelligent band that has grown stronger with each CD. I had a chance to talk with Andy, the drummer for Razorlight, and I mentioned that one of the things that has drawn me to their music is that it evoke memories of the best that came out of CBGB in its heyday. Andy laughed and said that maybe that’s what their mums were listening to when they were in their bellies.

Now it is time for you to go back to their website and listen to ‘North London Trash’ and ‘Wire to Wire’ off their new CD Slipway Fires. Isn’t it kinda nice to have someone tell you what to do every once in a while? You didn’t realize I could be so direct with giving orders, did you? See, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me. No worries. I’ll steer you in the right direction. Which brings me to my final point, Razorlight will be playing in West Hollywood on February 3rd and in NYC on February 10th. I’ll be at the show at the Fillmore on the 10th so come up and say ‘Hi.’ How will you recognize me? That’s easy, I’ll be the curmudgeon who has a smile on his face.

I'm A Little Confused


OK, I realize that I get confused a lot. My mother blames it on my third ex-wife Carli. Carli and my mother did not get along at all. Because of that, everything that is wrong in my life is blamed on Carli. If, I stub my toe on some furniture or am confused, it is because of my mom's least favorite ex. See, a little name reveal. Of course you have to figure out what Carli and if it is a nickname, but you have a start.

Anyway, wasn't it just like a month ago, maybe two that Joaquin Phoenix said he was retiring. Never going to act again. Never going to be in front of the cameras. Just going to focus on music, and be the best musician ever? Yeah, that's what I thought.

So, when I read this morning that Casey Affleck is directing a documentary feature on Joaquin and his musical exploits I decided I can't wait to hear the explanations for this one. I mean, yes, it is a documentary, but to me, Joaquin will still be acting. He is still performing in front of a camera. How the hell is that retirement from acting and not being in front of a camera anymore? I think what happened is he realized that if he just does this music thing which he is not very good at, that no one will remember him and that he won't get the attention and adoration he got before. He already missed it. He and his Grizzly Adams beard are not getting much action I'm guessing.

Tonight by the way is Joaquin's rap debut in Las Vegas and the first night of filming for Casey and the crew. Yeah, if anyone in Las Vegas happens to see Joaquin's show, if you can stop laughing long enough, send me an e-mail and let me know how it goes. A cell phone video would even be better.

Earth To Lance


Everytime I see or read an interview with Lance Bass the thing he always mentions is how there will be an N'Sync reunion any day now. He sounds like one of the Jackson brothers who keep repeating the same line repeatedly in hopes that one day when the reporter interrupts Michael watching home videos of kids that Michael, will say "yes, I want to go on tour."

Lance is like the same expectant puppy. He keeps sitting waiting patiently at Justin Timberlake's feet. The ball is sitting there waiting to be tossed. Lance wants to play, but Justin doesn't.

JC Chasez is doing a round of press for America's Best Dance Crew and so of course he is always asked about a reunion and how Lance wants one. JC said, "I really don't know where Lance gets these things from. No one has heard anything. Only Lance."

It is interesting the way JC put the quote. Not the part where he makes fun of Lance, but the part where JC says he has not heard anything. Apparently it isn't his decision. I'm wondering what would happen if N'Sync did something similar to what Take That did in the UK without Robbie Williams. Robbie's career has gone nowhere and Take That is more popular than ever. If you are a fan of N'Synce aren't you going to go see them whether Justin is there or not? The question I have, and don't know the answer to is who owns the N'Sync name. The JC, Joey and Lance tour doesn't sound as fun.

Ted C Blind Item

It was so delicious. Better than Angie getting her gal-flirt on at the Globes. Far better than whatever Mickey Rourke did with all those easy chicks at the after-parties. Call it showdown of the down-low dudes!

(You do know what down-low means, right? Uh, it's when superficially macho guys, often in the black and Latino cultures, but not always, like to screw with guys on the side while they've got the babes out in front.)

So here we go: Like the good little showman he is, Toothy Tile went to the Golden Globes this past weekend. And where was a camera when you needed one 'cause boyfriend ran into Lloyd Boy-Toyed, one of our other closeted Hollywood actors, just not as famous.

Jeez, wanna hear what happened?

They met. For the first time, I do not know, but I'm pretty sure it was. And even though both stars live to get their boy-flirt on, big-time, these guys are nearly a generation apart, so I highly doubt they mingle at the same gay gatherings.

But what's really interesting is how very sad Lloyd acted with Toothy, almost as if he saw before him the chance he'll never have: the possibility to come out of the closet and still have a career. Boy-Toyed never will out himself (although others sure as hell keep trying), not just because of his age, but because of his family, trust me on that one. But Toothy? Everybody knows he could still have it both ways; he's sure young enough. So what did Lloyd and Tooth discuss?

"The awards, the show, politics—it was a total come-on," insists my Toothy/Lloyd interloper. Am I quoting myself here, I wonder, and being very sneaky? Hmm. "It's how Lloyd operates. It's all in the eyes." Yes, that much is true. Very true. I know firsthand.

But let's get the point, already: Did Lloyd and Toothy hook up? Not there, they didn't, although I do believe digital info was exchanged, a dynamic that never would have gone down had T.T.'s standard chick date been around, which she wasn't, at least not then. Where could she have been? Stitching up Kate Beckinsale's dress in the ladies room?

Oh, and Lloyd. You might as well throw that number away. Toothy so is not calling. Sorry. (He's taken, a few times over.)

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Today's Blind Items

This up and coming known for his very good looks C list actor with B list name recognition who is right on the verge of becoming huge, has a major medical issue he is facing. Apparently he needs to have some oral surgery to remove a growth on his tongue. It could impair his ability to speak properly and permanently derail his career. For now he is keeping the upcoming surgery quiet, so as to not jeopardize any further opportunities from coming his way while at the same time hoping it doesn't cost any lasting damage.

Random Photos Part One

Congratulations to Metallica for being inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame. Very well deserved.

Bill Paxton doesn't look quite as thrilled as Amanda Seyfried, but I do see the faint hint of a smile on his lips.
I think this is a first time appearance for Billie Piper in the photos.
I think that a Bobby Trendy nipple slip has now eclipsed Verne Troyer's photo as the one most likely to cause nightmares.
It looks like Chloe Sevigny just grabbed a bathroom towel from a hotel and threw it around herself and called it a dress.
One of the favorite couples of the site, Diane Lane and Josh Brolin.
Donal Logue needs to get some more publicity. The guy is a great actor.
Edie Falco with a brand new haircut.
Ginnifer Goodwin and Tom Hanks. I just post the photos people. You can draw your own conclusions. I mean it's Tom Hanks though, so I'm sure it is all completely innocent.
Thanks to everyone who entered the Griffin House contest. The lucky winner was Charisse. If she doesn't respond to my e-mail though, I will let you know.
Gigi Rice alongside another one of my favorite actors, Ted McGinley.
They very lovely Hayley Atwell and Gemma Arterton.
I don't think I could stand like Heather Graham is doing in this photo if I practiced for days.
If you would like to see some really red eyes, just click on Jonathan Rhys Meyers' photo and enlarge it.
Have not seen Joss Stone in a very long time in the photos.
I don't remember Katie Holmes ever looking like this. Is this some Xenu magic trick?
Katharine McPhee in some photo session at The House Of Blues in Chicago. Hey, however you can make a buck.
Three of my favorite people. Leisha Hailey, Katherine Moennig, and Jennifer Beals.
I am just really glad to see Pam Grier. She needs to get some more credit for what she has done in her career.
They just don't move, do they?
Phillip Seymour Hoffman shaved the beard. What do you think it took? Like an hour?
Ricky Schroeder and his wife Andrea.
Has anyone ever seen a photo of Shane West smiling?
Another first timer is Veronica Webb.
And who the heck doesn't love Willie Garson? I feel like I was nice to everyone today. OK, that has to change soon. I kind of feel like Larry King right now. OK, well not exactly feeling like him. I mean that would be wrong on so many levels.