Four For Friday

#1 - Technically I guess this film actor is a B lister but he is definitely A list when it comes to name recognition. Our actor got in some well publicized trouble awhile back. What wasn't made public is the real reason the cops were called. Seems he called a clerk the N word.

#2 - Now, I know there are some bad dates out there, but you would think that if you are in your 20's you wouldn't have to have your teenage girlfriend pay for all your dates and your clothes and if you get cash from the parents it is the same thing because she is earning all the money anyway.

#3 & 4- This NHL player has himself a really nice celebrity girlfriend who he claims to love. Hasn't stopped him from having strippers called up to his room on every road trip. I'm sure the girlfriend would be pleased.

Not So Fast Dakota - New Moon Casting News

So, yesterday the internet was all abuzz about Dakota Fanning playing the part of Jane in the upcoming sequel to Twilight, New Moon. Although I wasn't convinced she would be good for the part, after reading all of your comments I decided she wouldn't be half bad. However, it might be all too much too soon anyway. Now this could be a ploy by the producers to get Dakota to make a decision, but my source says that as of two days ago, actresses were still auditioning for the role of Jane in the movie. If Dakota had been cast, they wouldn't be doing that. If it is a negotiating ploy, they might be.

The part is definitely going to go to someone who is 15 or 16 years old, so that would seem to give Dakota a shot and not the 28 year old actress that a big name agency is trying to shove down the producers' throats.

Random Photos Part One

Neil Young - Sydney
Albert Brooks and his wife. Albert seems to be holding up pretty well and his wife is lovely.
I know Bill Nighy has been in twice this week, but how can you not put his photo in again when he stands right next to one of the coolest posters ever.
I'm guessing that maybe Chris Ashworth had a beverage or two on the way to the red carpet.
Courteney Cox looks like she just smelled the perfume she is hawking for Avon, and doesn't look too pleased at what she smelled.
Calista Flockhart makes an appearance.
She was out supporting Harrison Ford who got some kind of Senior Olympics medal or maybe it was an aviation award. I like the idea of him competing in the Senior Olympics better though. Oh, and in his Indy hat. Shorts, t-shirt, running shoes and Indy hat.
Eva Longoria on the set of Desperate Housewives.
"Fletch, 6'5", 6'9" with the afro."
George Clooney on the set of ER.
I think the US owes an apology to the UK. Apparently the entire sideways baseball cap looking like an idiot thing has made its way over to the UK, and on behalf of all of us, we're sorry.
Oh, from this angle you can't see Jeff Bridges' ponytail. Too bad. It looks ridiculous. Seems to be my favorite word of the day which kind of sucks because it is hard to always type.
Jon Lovitz - Los Angeles
Shape with their monthly tribute to the world of photoshopping and airbrushing. This month it is Jaime Pressly.
I am going to go ahead and say some Indian guy made a few bucks taking a cell phone picture of Julia Roberts.
Lorenzo Lamas needs to eat some food. The guy is fading to nothing.
Liv Tyler right after she got out of the dentist's office. The good thing about having dentures is that I don't have to go often.
Len Wiseman without his significant other. Interesting.
The one and only Morgan Freeman. I forgot to look to see if there were any photos of him with his new girlfriend.
I can't believe it, but I think this is the first time I have ever had Mercedes Ruehl on the site anywhere.
A truly random photo. Hugh Jackman and Martha Stewart.
Michael Sheen and Rhona Mitra who appears to be wearing about a million bucks worth of jewels.
This is who Michael came with to the premiere.
From l to r, Michelle Trachtenberg (work), Sophia Bush (no work), Olivia Palermo (maybe. That nose doesn't look right)
Always have room for Neil Patrick Harris.
I give the Princess a lot of grief, but I really do like her, and she seems totally into these children.
Phylicia Rashad is your new Jenny Craig spokesperson. At this point I can't remember who is working for which weight loss programs.
Rodrigo Santoro is a good looking guy.
Sneaky Sound System - Sydney
The Grates - Sydney
I have to say that for the past few days Victoria Beckham has been looking rough. The dead animal doesn't look so good either.

Jennifer Lopez Getting Divorced

Yeah, yeah, we have heard it all before, but I finally, finally, finally have someone who has actually spent time with Jennifer Lopez on at least a weekly basis, and sometimes more often. No, it isn't a maid or a nanny or any kind of help. According to the source, Jennifer never wears her ring at home and refuses to discuss Marc Anthony ever. Jennifer is spending more and more time here in LA alone and is working on projects for herself with no input or help from Marc.

My source asked how come Marc wasn't working on these things with her as was usually the case, and Jennifer replied it was because they are getting a divorce.

Quick Hits Part Two

Darnell Wrote A Book - All of you are probably saying who in the heck is Darnell? Darnell is our hero. Darnell is the guy who went to jail for robbing, extorting, and violating Joe Francis in ways that Joe had not experienced previously until he went to prison. Yeah, that Darnell. I wrote about him previously. It is a shame he is in prison for doing to Joe what probably every father of every girl from GGW would have liked to have done. Anyway, Darnell and a ghostwriter got together and put together a great book on Paris Hilton and all the other people who hang out in her world. It doesn't pull any punches and Gawker has gone ahead and scanned a few choice sections. Read them here. It's fun I promise.

Sarah Jessica Parker - I was going to say she is happy. She told People Magazine that she and Matthew love being married and the best part of marriage is being married. I know, but she said it. Maybe she was smoking weed beforehand, I don't know. She did also say that she thinks SATC2 is going to be made but she is not the best source for that. Umm. And who would be better? If you say it is a go, the studios will run around screaming and the cameras will be rolling faster than Samantha can take off her clothes.

I Love Morrissey - I have always loved Morrissey. Not in the I'm going to hop up on stage and give him a lily or anything love, but I love his music. Plus, he let Girl In A Coma open for him this past year and I love them. Oh, and of course there was the whole Smiths thing and now he is pro reunion and it is Marr that is holding it up. Therefore I know that deep down Morrissey is willing to play for money if it is astronomical. I like that. But, what I really love is his interview with Maxim Canada this month. Some choice quotes are:

"It will be worth being dead just to get away from Victoria Beckham."

When asked he would most like to kick in the eye, he replied,

"Jamie Oliver. That meat-fed horror Jamie 'Orrible' Oliver. If he's a master chef, then I'm Miss Brazil 1970."

Your Turn

Worst Date Or First Date? Take your pick, or talk about them both.

Last week brought up so many good memories of the past and good times, that I thought I would go back to the past for this one as well. I am sure it was probably not as exciting as Farmer Ted's, but tell us all about your first date. No, dancing with someone in the gym doesn't count. I want an actual picked up and went somewhere kind of date. I vividly remember asking my first date out. Where it was, what I was thinking and what I said. I remember my first date also of course, but the memory that has stayed brighter was the actual asking out.

As for my worst date ever, I wanted it to be over five seconds after it started, and it wasn't even a blind date. She was just that different or I was sober. I don't know which to this day.

Quick Hits Part One

Kelly Goes To Rehab - Sharon Osbourne confirmed to Radar Online that Kelly Osbourne checked into a rehab facility and will be there for the next 30 days. I blame Amy Winehouse. Didn't Kelly try and spend some time with Amy and get her clean? Yeah, I think that was probably a really bad idea in retrospect. Then she was saying how she had conquered her demons that she could help Amy conquer hers. Sharon didn't say why Kelly was going to rehab and some people of someone said it was for personal issues. I think it will also look good in front of the judge when Kelly has to go to court for that assault charge which she probably would have done drunk or sober, but it will still look good. Get better Kelly. Don't like your mom, but you seem pretty cool.

Engagement News - I hate engagement news, but since there were two stories I figured I could combine them into one and make it look really wordy and important. Apparently Kneepads got it wrong when they said Gisele and Tom are engaged. A direct quote from Gisele to some Brazil media says that she isn't engaged, and doesn't know when or if she will get engaged. But if she does she wants a small wedding in Brazil. In actual engagement news with an actual ring being put on an actual finger, Fred Armisen of SNL got engaged to Elisabeth Moss of Mad Men. Considering that their relationship didn't even really go public until a week ago, I would say that's fast. At this rate, they will probably get married next week, have a kid by the end of February and be divorced in time for St. Patrick's Day.

That's A Shocker - Sienna Miller is going to make her Broadway debut, and guess what? Yeah, she has to play someone who is sexy. Considering I don;t think she is very attractive or sexy I don;t see how she keeps getting these kinds of roles. I mean I know she will take off her clothes for any movie she is in but that doesn't make her sexy or attractive, it just means she is comfortable being naked and enjoys getting the extra money that comes with that. In the play I don't really understand her role except that she is supposed to be some rich guy's daughter who has lots of sex with the hired help.

Alleged Paris Hilton Burglar Arrested

A man by the name of Troy Thomas has been arrested and charged with two burglaries, one of which is Paris Hilton's house. Thomas, who is 45 years old is alleged to have committed almost 150 home burglaries in the past three years and is known for specializing in celebrities. In April of 2007 it is alleged that Thomas broke into the house of Duran Duran guitarist John Taylor and a safe removed.

The police are not saying right now if Thomas had any assistance either inside or otherwise in the alleged burglary of Paris Hilton's house which happened last month. Paris says that over $2M worth of jewels were taken. Yeah. That's what she told her insurance company, but how many of us really believe Paris had $2M worth of jewels. Show of hands? Yeah, no one. She might value them at $2M but they were probably worth a couple of hundred bucks.

Thomas is not known for working alone, targets the homes of celebrities so I just think they need to look for the common denominator and I bet that Paris knows them really well.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which d-bag actor beats his beautiful action-star girlfriend?

I Will Show You Ridiculous

I read some statement today that Rolling Stone guitarist Ronnie Wood released through his people. In the statement, Ronnie who is 61 says that reports his 20 year old girlfriend is pregnant are ridiculous. "These are all ridiculous rumours and we would like to make it clear that Ekaterina is not pregnant."

Well, I had not even heard the rumors, but I don't know why they would be anymore ridiculous than him leaving his wife of 23 years after meeting a waitress at a restaurant and hanging out with her a couple of times. Why is the thought that she might be pregnant ridiculous? Did he get the snip snip done or is she sterile because otherwise I don;t think any rumors like that are ridiculous.

I think what he did to his wife is pretty ridiculous, not to mention his kids. Hey, if you are not happy in your relationship that is one thing, but to go about it in the way he did was just wrong. It was like Balthazar Getty wrong. Of course maybe he thinks it's ridiculous because they haven't had sex. I mean maybe they just hang out all day and play Guitar Hero. That way he can introduce her to all the Rolling Stones songs since she probably had never heard of them before she met him. In fact I think they had one of their farewell tours about the time she was born.

On the plus side at least she isn't a teenager anymore. Those headlines were ridiculous. A 61 year old guy sleeping with a teenager. No, nothing ridiculous about that. Creepy as hell, but not ridiculous.

Everyone Loves A Tell All Book

To me there is not much more joy in the world of gossip than a tell-all book. They are usually very short, easy reads with just enough juice to keep you going through the next 30 pages of monotony. I actually have a theory that you could combine the juice of every tell-all book ever written and still probably be under 1,000 pages for the whole thing. In fact, I think some editor should just do that. Stop wasting time compiling short stories or the best of whatever for a particular year, just edit all the tell-all books and biographies for their essence. That would be a great book.

Anyway, the subject of this tell-all book is Angelina Jolie, and specifically her relationship with Brad Pitt. The book is being shopped by one of Angelina's former bodyguards who was never asked to sign a confidentiality agreement.

Uh oh. That spells trouble.

In Touch says that Angelina is currently trying to block the publication of the book. The bodyguard was not just a guy they hired off the streets for a couple of weeks, but was the head of her entire security detail. He worked for Angelina for several years until he was fired by Brad Pitt last year.

Apparently this guy was around when Brad and Angelina met so we will get another version of that story and may be why Brad went to such great pains a few months ago to establish a timeline of the relationship. The book also promises lots of details about the sex life of Brad and Angelina. I really don't think I want to know how the guy learned all about that. Maybe that is why he got fired.

Congratulations US Weekly

I don't know who kicked over US Weekly's sand castle, but they have joined the world of real reporters and not butt kissing sycophants for at least a week anyway. They actually trashed a celebrity on their cover this week. A celebrity with a publicist who presumably has more clients. To say I am shocked would be an understatement. I doubt it will last, but for one week US Weekly did throw out their version of snark.

As you can see by the photo, their wrath was directed at Jennifer Love Hewitt. Using a source from the set of the show Ghost Whisperer, US, actually gets some juice not first processed and extracted by Jennifer's people. Oh, and the great thing about this source? It is actually named. There is someone actually credited with the quotes. They won't ever get a job on another television show and US doesn't pay for stories but they did get to see their name in print. Hope that gets you through the recession.

The story is about how Jennifer is to blame for the demise of the relationship she had with Ross McCall. Well, yeah, I think I said that before. She has never been in a relationship that has lasted because she is immature and people get tired of the fact that she needs her mom every five seconds or live with her or be her pseudo mom when mom isn't there.

The source, who is the former costume designer for the show called Jennifer immature and needy. Check, we got that already.

She also said,

"Jennifer would call McCall up and go, 'Can you come and sit with me? I'm cold,'" she said. "She would drag him on the set and then pout and they'd fight. Mainly, it was her needing something from him: 'Can you say you love me?'"

Apparently the fact that Jennifer had a full-time job was also part of the problem. "It was clear they were not on the same level. It was hard for him."

Jennifer was so insecure about her body that, "She would try on clothes over clothes. She would not have lights on or mirrors in the dressing room. It's sad because she had a beautiful body."

Well, I'm guessing living with her was a thrill a minute, and the sex, well, it is a wonder they ever had it because she probably wanted to keep her clothes on the entire time. Now, of course, to be fair, we have not heard from Ross, and he might have loved every second of the relationship. According to US, Ross, said they are working it out and both wearing their rings. I didn't know guys wore engagement rings, but maybe in Jennifer's world you do. Good luck, and congratulations to US for doing some real reporting and getting off your knees.

Lick Her? I Don't Even Know Her

First Australia let Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis exit their country and return to the United States without any kind of mystery disappearance and now the want their citizens to lick Nicole Kidman. I know, I know. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. It turns out that the Australian Government has decided to honor Nicole Kidman and three other Australian actors by giving them their very own stamps. Yes, beginning August 26th anyone who wants to lick Nicole Kidman can pay 55 Australian cents and lick her likeness and put it on an envelope.

When Nicole was informed of the honor she told the Sydney Morning Herald, “I have a vested interest in Australia. I want my children to live here at certain times of their life and see how wonderful it is. It would be lovely for them to lick a stamp, put it on an envelope and say ‘that’s my mum’.”

It will also be interesting to see which celebrity sells the best and which are just thrown in the trash where the little children can find it and say, "that's my mum."

The other actors being honored are Cate Blanchett (dibs on those), Russell Crowe and Geoffrey Rush. What would make this really interesting is if the Australian Post Office scented each stamp with how each of the actor's actually taste. No? OK. Do people even lick stamps anymore. I thought they all had that stuff that just made them stick without getting that nasty stamp taste in your mouth. It is hard to believe that the glue I find so nasty now was my favorite dessert when I was 3.

And They Said It Without Laughing

Do you remember Beanie Babies? I remember them. I have nightmares about them. Back in the day, my mother thought they were the cutest things ever and started collecting them. And then she decided she liked them a little bit more so collected some more. Started buying and selling them online. She started making my dad go on McDonald's runs across the city to get all the special edition ones. Most people mow the lawn and do other errands on the weekend. Not my dad. Nope. 10 hours a day of McDonald's duty. That was of course after he had spent three hours driving from swap meet to flea market to garage sales. Our house was a Beanie Baby. It was one big, fat, Beanie Baby.

At that time I was not forced to live in the basement, and actually had my own place. I'm glad, because at the time there was no room in the basement to walk or to move. Each baby was wrapped in some kind of indestructible plastic and had those little plastic tags over the Ty heart. Those dolls were given more love and attention and care than my mom gave me. I think that's why I drink. Anyway, one day I came by and they were gone. None in sight. Turns out they could see the bottom coming and cashed out. They bought a new minivan because the old one had been driven so much during the Beanie Baby patrols they had worn it out.

So, I bring all of this up because I thought the company was gone, but it turns out they are still very much alive and have decided to produce "Sweet Sasha" and "Marvelous Malia" dolls. Although the dolls share the names of the first daughters and bear a strong resemblance to the pair, the company says it is all just a big coincidence. Seriously, that is their story and they are sticking to it. They claim they came up with the names just because "they are beautiful names." Uh huh.

"There's nothing on the dolls that refers to the Obama girls. It would not be fair to say they are exact replications of these girls. They are not."

Uh huh.

If you like the dolls you better snap them up quickly because they will not be on the market long. Despite what Ty says, there is no way any court is going to buy the argument that Ty is not trying to make money off the image of the two girls. You can't do that. It would be the same thing if McDonald's started using photos of Taylor Momsen and said, "don't turn into this girl. Eat a burger." They would be making money off her image without paying her.

So, go snap them up wherever you can find them because they will certainly be changing the names and likenesses soon and so the originals will probably be worth some money. Just don't tell my mom. Please.

Don't You Just Love The Term No Contest?

When I saw that Hayden Pannetteire's father pleaded no contest to misdemeanor battery, I thought to myself well that is a nice slippery mess to this whole thing. You will recall that shortly after he was arrested, Hayden's dad Alan said that the whole thing was a misunderstanding and that nothing happened and the police just wanted 15 minutes of fame.

Uh huh. Now with this plea he can always say he was never found guilty of battery and if anyone calls him guilty of it they would be wrong. It's a lovely little plea, this no contest thing. He gets the same sentence as if he had been found guilty, but will force everyone who writes or talks about the case to use extra words and phrases other than the word guilty.

He will say something along the lines of he just wanted to put the whole mess behind him and that he didn't want to put his family through the pain of a trial just to prove his innocence. That he knows he was in the right and that is why he didn't plead guilty.

Whatever. Call it what you will, but everyone knows the truth. Now I am not going to say that I have never advised someone to do the same thing, because I have, but you always feel a little queasy doing it. OK, more than a little queasy. It isn't a victory or vindication, it is just about saving face and trying to muster some kind of plausible denial. Even though he made the statements he did after he was arrested I would have had far more respect for him if he had just pleaded guilty instead of trying to hide behind a technicality. No matter what though, his wife and family know what happened.

Alan was sentenced to two years probation, 52 weeks of domestic violence counseling and pay $400 in fines.

Ted C Blind Item

Prius Crotch-Catch is so famous, so gorgeous, so down with everything cool in T-town: from always dating the hippest dude, to starring in the latest hit. She’s also politically aware! And she’s so full of enviable girl power, so pure! Surely she doesn’t snort evil drugs or sleep around! Everyone loves and wants to be Prius! Oh, and even though PC-C’s fallen in love from time to time, lately, she’s been on her own—but now appears to be settling sweetly down again. Everyone’s breathing a sigh of belated relief. So fab that Prius has met her latest BF, a fine and steady dude who knows nothing of his girl’s immediate and shocking past, which includes:

Many, many cocaine-powered nights of hot, endless and very loud sex that white chick Prius just stopped having with Wally Wallup, an African-American dude who’s as studly as he is rich and infamous. No one knew Prius and Wally were dating—and they liked it that way, too, as they were wholly hooking up just for the wild nooky. Jeez, thought it was just the gays who went for the meaningless, sweaty hot sex, but what the ef do I know? Just that the hipster hotel where Wallup and Crotch-Catch always did it became even more infamous than it already is when the gorgeous twosome’s screams, snorts and clandestine meetings became so...well, vocal. Indeed, Mr. Wallup had to start posting his bodyguards outside their suite doors just to keep folks from breaking in and calling 911, or joining in, take your pick.

Doesn’t matter anymore, as Prius C-C only has eyes for her just-snagged, far-less-athletic nooky partner. Won’t last. Uh-uh, no friggin’ wild-sex-starved way. Mark my snoopy (and wise) words.

And It Aint: Rachel McAdams, Scarlett Johansson, Hayden Panettiere

Today's Blind Items

I think this this newly engaged NFL player would be surprised to learn that his future wife has been spending a great deal of time talking and texting her old boyfriend every chance she gets and even making plans to meet while she is alone and out of town. Of course it probably serves our NFL player right.

Random Photos Part One

Ani Difranco - Perth
Not really random since they are in a movie together, but still an interesting combination of Anthony Edwards, Uma Thurman and Minnie Driver.
Angie Everhart at a charity golf tournament in the Bahamas.
Just because it has been awhile and it is always good to see America Ferrera.
This isn't the photo I had meant to post of Michael Jordan and Chris Tucker. I had meant to show a photo of Chris Tucker wearing some ridiculous looking jeans.
Fobia - Mexico City
I can see why Halle Berry made it almost the top of the most desirable list. She looks incredible.
The one and only Hugh Laurie celebrating the 100th episode of House.
Considering that Miley Cyrus is underage I guess we know why Justin Gaston has one arm really in shape.
I think Jesse Spencer has been in the photos before but at this point I can't remember.
I know it has been a long time since Keira Knightley has been in them,.
Kevin Spacey and Saffron Burrows.
Lily Allen in a photo shoot for Interview Magazine.
This is LaToya Jackson after being evicted from the Celebrity Big Brother House.
Meanwhile, inside, people find alternatives to kissing Verne Troyer.
I love Meryl Streep, but let's hope she didn't actually break into song. Congratulations on her 3,546 Oscar nomination.
Omar Epps makes a first time appearance in the photos.
Olivia Wilde is a fixture in the photos and it has nothing to do with the fact that I want her to come to the basement sometime. OK, well maybe a little.
I must be in a good mood because even Patrick Dempsey looks good here.
I believe the name of the movie is The Big Stan. Sounds much cooler though as El Gran Stan.
Sandra OH was given some kind of acting award from the Canadian government. Pamela Anderson was a disappointing 2nd.
Why the hell not. It seems like the site has had nothing but Twilight posts today anyway, so here is Taylor Lautner.
The Waifs - Perth

Quick Hits Part Two

Is Dakota Fanning The Scariest Vampire Alive - I regret that I read all the Twilight books because it forces me to have an opinion, even if not shared on the site about who would be best cast in certain roles. Now, granted it has been a few months since I finished the last book, but I do remember that the character Jane was supposed to be the vampire that was more feared of any in the world. When I think of that, I have a hard time thinking of Dakota Fanning in that role. Yes, in the book, Jane was described as having the face of a child, and so a soon to be 15 year old would have that qualification. But, I just can't imagine Dakota being all that scary and intimidating.

Tom And Jerry Movie - I have always been a big fan of Tom and Jerry. I loved that there were no words needed and that a few short minutes was all that was needed to really make something fun and entertaining. It feels smart even when I watch it as an adult. So, it is kind of with a mixed reaction that I saw that Variety is reporting that a Tom and Jerry full length movie is in the works. It will be similar to the Scooby Doo films in that it will combine CGI with live action actors. The brilliance of Tom and Jerry is that they were short and quick and to the point. I think that 90 minutes is just going to be way too much of a good thing and that the shorts will never be as much fun again.

Sally Hawkins Who? - If you don't have this week's issue of Newsweek, you should go stand in the checkout line and read their 13th round table interview with Brad Pitt, Robert Downey Jr. Anne Hathaway, Frank Langella, and Sally Hawkins. If you don't want to go anywhere though you can click here and read it. Read how Anne Hathaway comes across as just the biggest pain in the world and seems so spoiled. Robert Downey Jr is hilarious, Brad Pitt pretentious, Frank Langella curious and Sally Hawkins as someone who says like five words in an hour long interview. Definitely worth your time.

Quick Hits Part One

No, No, No, Well, OK - How many times over the past year have we all been subjected to the outright denials that George Clooney would ever return to ER? Despite all the rumors he would, George's people said he only does movies now and would never do television again. Despite all the cast members saying that felt George would be back, his people kept insisting no. Well, I guess his people really don't know anything because George is doing ER and may already be filming his episode(s) as we speak. I have never really watched ER, and honestly have maybe seen a total of about 30-40 minutes of the entire run of episodes, but I do know that if I was a fan of the show I would be excited that my favorite character was coming back, even if it were just for a few minutes of an episode. Plus, I think for him to not return would be turning his back on what made him a star. If not for ER he would probably be fighting for a spot on Dancing With The Stars as the guy who used to be on Facts Of Life.

Zsa Zsa Gabor Loses It All - According to RADAR, Zsa Zsa Gabor lost her entire fortune to Bernie Madoff. Understandably all the plastic surgeons in Hollywood were also distraught. No, actually I think she gave that up awhile ago. But, her husband, Prince Frederic did say that he and Zsa Zsa would probably have to sell off their home, cars and artwork because they need cash in which to live. Well considering they live in Bel Air and have some really great art and jewelry, I'm guessing they are not going to end up living in a 3rd floor walk up somewhere.

Never Drink And Lift - Any good drinker will tell you that it is best to not try and form of strenuous exercise after consuming a significant amount of alcohol. Feats of strength are best left to the sober celebration of Festivus and not while at a nightclub doing shots. Audrina Partridge learned this the hard way. How so? Well she and some guy were drinking and sucking face and he decided he would go all he-man on her. He lifted her up off the ground in an attempt to put her over his shoulder. At that point, the drunkenness kicked in and he dropped her right to the floor. See, now that should have been caught on film.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which high-profile celeb couple, who insist they are madly in love, actually sleep in separate rooms? They check into separate suits in hotels...

WD - Groupidity Part Four - New Moon Audition For The Role Of Emily

I talk a lot of crap about Twilight and New Moon and will be doing so later today actually about the whole Dakota Fanning thing. However, I don't think I could be more excited that America got an audition for the role of Emily and I hope she gets it. I hope that all of you who have read her posts over the past year also wish her good luck because it is a role that can change your entire life. For all you Twilight fans who will come to this post and read about the audition, I do want to say that America is part Native American and would be excellent as Emily.


Hi!

So more adventures in Hollywood. So my agent calls me on Tues and says you have an audition tomorrow but it's stunts so make sure you can do all of them. I read the audition. Fall backward in chair (no problem do it all the time, by accident), break through glass (no problem just did it for the Chris Cornell video) AND be set on fire. Whoa. Hold up. Nope. Most certainly have NOT done that.

Told my agent. She said no worries. If you are open to do it, go. After speaking to my favorite stunt guy, John Dixon, I felt confident. Sort of.

The powers that be on the commercial are anxious that I haven't done a burn before. Can't blame 'em. So today, they brought me in for a fire test. Passing this test means 1. I have nerves of steel. 2. That I have the job for sure 3. I don't get 3rd degree burns on most of my body.

You ever have those days where you stop in the middle of what you are doing and think to yourself, "wow. This is my job. This is my life. This is not what I expected." I was never a daredevil as a kid. Quite the opposite. And here I find myself covered in flame retardant gel with a very cool stunt guy, Terry James, asking me "Are you ready to be lit on fire?" And I said, cool as a cucumber, "Sure."

It was weird. It was even more weird to see the footage. As soon as I get it, I'll post it for you all to see. So as long as I try to forget that my entire back is on fire, I do have nerves of steel. I did get the job for sure. We shoot on Saturday. To be continued!

Oh!!! And I got to audition for New Moon today! For the role of Emily. The casting director, you fans of the book will be glad to know, has read the books and loves them. And you can tell. His direction was spot on for the character. I loved the books. I would so love to be in the movie!!!

Groupidity Episode 4 - "Sleeping your way to the bottom"

This is the last episode with the writer, last episode with one of the main actors and last episode without a DP. The actor got some great gigs and we had to replace that person. Which is exciting! Who do you think it is? I think you'll think the way to worked that into the story is funny. But you'll have to wait to ep 5 to see that...




Groupidity Ep-4 from Groupidity on Vimeo.

That Has To Hurt The Ego

I thought about just including this in the Quick Hits, but in the end decided that a blow to the ego this massive needs its very own post. I don't know if you remember last year at this time? No? Me either. But apparently askmen.com does this Top 99 most desirable women in the world and they do it at this time of the year. This most desirable woman is not to be confused with Esquire's sexiest or People's sexiest or whatever Maxim and the other magazines call their list. No, this is an entirely separate list and is allegedly entirely fan driven with no publicist input.

Well last year, Katherine Heigl was voted the most desirable woman on the list. When she heard about it she probably did the Mendes Starbucks Strut. It's amazing though what happens when your show starts doing poorly, don't have a hit movie that is watched by a bunch of horny guys, and can't count on your publicist to help. You drop in the list. You drop really far down the list. You drop so far down that only a last minute online campaign by your assistants and husband and TR Knight saves you from completely dropping off the list. When you go from #1 to #81 in one year you know that you had a really bad year.

I don't care who you are or how big your head and ego are, that is a massive blow. To go from being at the top of the world to competing with fictional cartoon characters for a spot in the most desirable has to hurt. Has to.

When You Need A Laugh You Can Count On Kim's Fans

After reading about Caylee Anthony I needed something light and funny. I thought about going to Mischa Barton's site but I just knew it would be filled with her whining and moaning and I would be forced to stare at unsmiling photos of her that she somehow thinks are sexy and warm. I didn't want to go to the spawn of Dina Lohan's site because, well, she is banned and I think the site is much fresher and cleaner for it.

So, I went somewhere where I can always get a laugh. Kim Kardashian's site. Not so much for what Kim writes, but from what her fans write. Kim had some breaking news on her site. Apparently she was thrilled to be nominated for a Razzie in the supporting actress category. I think she actually is thrilled to be noticed for doing any kind of acting although her performance was just as bad in Disaster Movie as it was in her porn tape. You know what the sad thing is? If she was acting in her porn tape. That would be horrible. If she was, that means in reality she would be, oh wait, has anyone seen her with Reggie Bush in awhile?

So, after Kim wrote her post which, you can read here, of course her fans had to stick up for her. Apparently the word has got out, and there are actually some commentors or drunk lawyers who take potshots at Kim under a bunch of fake names late at night when they are bored. Read how many of her fans loved the movie and how they know she did it all in good fun.


January 21, 2009 6:50 PM
Rylie says: | Reply

Don't listen to the Razzie people Kim! I thought you were really funny in Disaster Movie!



January 21, 2009 4:05 PM
KimberlyG says: | Reply

Kim,

I love your sense of humor! I thought Disaster Movie was funny...that's how "spoof movies" are supposed to be! An extreme exaggeration of things. You should be proud! You go girl! Love ya!

♥
Kimberly :)


January 21, 2009 2:09 PM
Christine16 says: | Reply

CONGRATSSSS KIMMMM!!! I LEGIT JUSTTT WATCHED DISASTER MOVIE 10 MINUTES AGO, HALARIOUSS!!!!! I HOPE YOU WIN, THOSE GIRLS HAVE NOTHING ON YOU!! =)
UR FAVVVV ARMENIAN FAN
CHRISTINE K


But unlike other times when I have read comments on her site, there are a lot of people who have not had their shot of Kool-Aid.

anuary 22, 2009 7:16 AM
twigsix says: | Reply

kim,
u cant possibly b laughing knowing the truth behind that razzie award. that movie was horrible and u cant act. i left during the first 15 minutes along with the other 5 people that came to see it. i was really dissapointed. i thought u were going to

anuary 22, 2009 7:34 AM
NtotheB says: | Reply

KIM, AS MUCH AS I ADORE YOU, SOMETIMES I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. I KNOW YOU'RE TAKING IT WITH HUMOR, BUT GETTING A RAZZIE ISNT A GOOD THING.

LAUGHING IT OFF IS A FINE WAY TO HANDLE IT, BUT HUN, PEOPLE ALREADY THINK YOU'RE DUMB.


Yes, nothing like the Kardashian fans to make your day just a little brighter and to be grateful your own kids can read and write.

That's Messed Up

I know that for most of you, if you are interested in reading or hearing about Caylee Anthony and her case that you probably just watch Nancy Grace get riled up about it and then you get riled up and that's just fine. I don't really pay attention to the case other than reading some article if it pops up in front of me or something. Such was the case this morning when I was reading about the details of some court documents that were released yesterday.

According to the documents, Caylee was found in a laundry bag. She had a Winnie The Pooh Blanket, several iron on letters, and a toy horse with her. If that is not enough to break your heart right there, it seems that the duct tape which was used to bind Caylee had a heart shaped sticker placed on it. This whole thing is sick, but the heart on the duct tape thing is just beyond disturbing.

As I said before I don't watch coverage of this story because I just can't watch it and then not go into some terrible depression. But, because I don't watch the coverage and I am ignorant about it, I would like to know from those who do, whether they have ruled out the guy who kept calling the police to report something suspicious. I have just been really suspicious of that guy from day one. He is kind of like the arsonist who calls it in to the fire department and then watches the fireman put out the fire he started.

Now, that's not to say that Caylee's mom is not the worst mother in the world, because she is. And I think Caylee's grandparents are pretty much the worst grandparents in the world and should probably be locked up for something. So, was it Caylee's mom alone? Was it Caylee and this guy who saw something suspicious? Just him? I don't understand the need for duct tape if it was Caylee's mom. The hear thing is going to give me nightmares because that is the sickest damn thing ever.

Were Cameras Rolling?

It feels almost sacrilegious to post about the Academy Award nominations in one post and in the very next one talk about how Spencer Pratt allegedly beat up someone. And the shocking thing is that it is another guy. According to Star, Spencer was in a club when he saw Cameron Huston. Cameron is the ex-boyfriend of Spencer's sister.

After making sure cameras were following him Spencer walked over to Cameron and began yelling at him. After about ten minutes of yelling, Spencer allegedly hit Cameron in the face. According to witnesses, there was blood, and screaming and Cameron had to go to the hospital to get treated.

OK, this happened over the weekend. Cameron's mom was interviewed by Star and of course took her son's side to the story. I just want to know why there is no police report. Where is the video from TMZ? Are we going to have to watch the fight on The Hills next season? Does anyone honestly believe that Spencer would take a punch at another guy that he was not sleeping with?

Does anyone believe that I have any self respect left after discussing Spencer Pratt for the past ten minutes? Oh, and where was Heidi during all of this? Are they only together when there are cameras around? Interesting.

Academy Award Nominations

Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences
- NOMINATIONS BY CATEGORY - 81ST AWARDS -

Performance by an actor in a leading role

* Richard Jenkins in "The Visitor" (Overture Films)
* Frank Langella in "Frost/Nixon" (Universal)
* Sean Penn in "Milk" (Focus Features)
* Brad Pitt in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" (Paramount and Warner Bros.)
* Mickey Rourke in "The Wrestler" (Fox Searchlight)

Performance by an actor in a supporting role

* Josh Brolin in "Milk" (Focus Features)
* Robert Downey Jr. in "Tropic Thunder" (DreamWorks, Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount)
* Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Doubt" (Miramax)
* Heath Ledger in "The Dark Knight" (Warner Bros.)
* Michael Shannon in "Revolutionary Road" (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount Vantage)

Performance by an actress in a leading role

* Anne Hathaway in "Rachel Getting Married" (Sony Pictures Classics)
* Angelina Jolie in "Changeling" (Universal)
* Melissa Leo in "Frozen River" (Sony Pictures Classics)
* Meryl Streep in "Doubt" (Miramax)
* Kate Winslet in "The Reader" (The Weinstein Company)

Performance by an actress in a supporting role

* Amy Adams in "Doubt" (Miramax)
* Penélope Cruz in "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" (The Weinstein Company)
* Viola Davis in "Doubt" (Miramax)
* Taraji P. Henson in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" (Paramount and Warner Bros.)
* Marisa Tomei in "The Wrestler" (Fox Searchlight)

Best animated feature film of the year

"Bolt" (Walt Disney) Chris Williams and Byron Howard
"Kung Fu Panda" (DreamWorks Animation, Distributed by Paramount) John Stevenson and Mark Osborne
"WALL-E" (Walt Disney) Andrew Stanton


Achievement in directing

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" (Paramount and Warner Bros.) David Fincher
"Frost/Nixon" (Universal) Ron Howard
"Milk" (Focus Features) Gus Van Sant
"The Reader" (The Weinstein Company) Stephen Daldry
"Slumdog Millionaire" (Fox Searchlight) Danny Boyle

Best documentary feature

"The Betrayal (Nerakhoon)" (Cinema Guild)
A Pandinlao Films Production Ellen Kuras and Thavisouk Phrasavath
*
"Encounters at the End of the World" (THINKFilm and Image Entertainment)
A Creative Differences Production Werner Herzog and Henry Kaiser
*
"The Garden"
A Black Valley Films Production Scott Hamilton Kennedy
*
"Man on Wire" (Magnolia Pictures)
A Wall to Wall Production James Marsh and Simon Chinn
*
"Trouble the Water" (Zeitgeist Films)
An Elsewhere Films Production Tia Lessin and Carl Deal


Best foreign language film of the year

* "The Baader Meinhof Complex" A Constantin Film Production - Germany
* "The Class" (Sony Pictures Classics) A Haut et Court Production - France
* "Departures" (Regent Releasing) A Departures Film Partners Production - Japan
* "Revanche" (Janus Films) A Prisma Film/Fernseh Production - Austria
* "Waltz with Bashir" (Sony Pictures Classics) A Bridgit Folman Film Gang Production - Israel

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" (Paramount and Warner Bros.) Alexandre Desplat
"Defiance" (Paramount Vantage) James Newton Howard
"Milk" (Focus Features) Danny Elfman
"Slumdog Millionaire" (Fox Searchlight) A.R. Rahman
"WALL-E" (Walt Disney) Thomas Newman

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)

"Down to Earth" from "WALL-E" (Walt Disney) Music by Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman
Lyric by Peter Gabriel
*
"Jai Ho" from "Slumdog Millionaire" (Fox Searchlight) Music by A.R. Rahman
Lyric by Gulzar
*
"O Saya" from "Slumdog Millionaire" (Fox Searchlight) Music and Lyric by A.R. Rahman and Maya Arulpragasam

Best motion picture of the year

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" (Paramount and Warner Bros.)
A Kennedy/Marshall Production Kathleen Kennedy, Frank Marshall and Ceán Chaffin, Producers
*
"Frost/Nixon" (Universal)
A Universal Pictures, Imagine Entertainment and Working Title Production Brian Grazer, Ron Howard and Eric Fellner, Producers
*
"Milk" (Focus Features)
A Groundswell and Jinks/Cohen Company Production Dan Jinks and Bruce Cohen, Producers
*
"The Reader" (The Weinstein Company)
A Mirage Enterprises and Neunte Babelsberg Film GmbH Production Nominees to be determined
*
"Slumdog Millionaire" (Fox Searchlight)
A Celador Films Production Christian Colson, Producer

Best animated short film

"La Maison en Petits Cubes"
A Robot Communications Production Kunio Kato
*
"Lavatory - Lovestory"
A Melnitsa Animation Studio and CTB Film Company Production Konstantin Bronzit
*
"Oktapodi" (Talantis Films)
A Gobelins, L'école de l'image Production Emud Mokhberi and Thierry Marchand
*
"Presto" (Walt Disney)
A Pixar Animation Studios Production Doug Sweetland
*
"This Way Up"
A Nexus Production Alan Smith and Adam Foulkes


Adapted screenplay

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" (Paramount and Warner Bros.) Screenplay by Eric Roth
Screen story by Eric Roth and Robin Swicord
*
"Doubt" (Miramax) Written by John Patrick Shanley
*
"Frost/Nixon" (Universal) Screenplay by Peter Morgan
*
"The Reader" (The Weinstein Company) Screenplay by David Hare
*
"Slumdog Millionaire" (Fox Searchlight) Screenplay by Simon Beaufoy

Original screenplay

"Frozen River" (Sony Pictures Classics) Written by Courtney Hunt
*
"Happy-Go-Lucky" (Miramax) Written by Mike Leigh
*
"In Bruges" (Focus Features) Written by Martin McDonagh
*
"Milk" (Focus Features) Written by Dustin Lance Black
*
"WALL-E" (Walt Disney) Screenplay by Andrew Stanton, Jim Reardon
Original story by Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which small-screen actress is just as naughty as her TV character? The hottie was seen kissing quite a few fellas at Sundance despite having a serious boyfriend.

Today's Blind Items

Well, well, well. Let the rumors begin anew. This B list film actress with A list name recognition was spotted last night getting her shoulders rubbed and her hand held by this B list television actress from a network drama.

Random Photos Part One

Billy Bob Thornton looks good here. I wish that he would make some more outrageous quotes about Angelina Jolie. I love when he does that.
Alyson Hannigan and her husband strolling the streets. It must have taken her about 20 minutes to get into those pants.
The actress we all love to dislike, Ashley Judd.
We do however like Ed Harris and Amy Madigan.
No doubt Jessica Alba was explaining to Ben Affleck why the dollar will continue to move higher against foreign currencies for the next several months.
Ben then said, "uh huh" and went and f**ked Sarah Silverman.
Billy Gibbons and his wife Gilligan. I'm guessing her parents had a sense of humor. I do wonder if they named any of their children Professor.
The one and only Dionne Warwick.
Two guys who look thrilled to be on the red carpet. Eddie Izzard and Bill Nighy.
Two very lovely women. Elizabeth Shue and Amy Brenneman.
I think this is the first time I have seen a photo of Jennifer Garner out in public since her daughter was born. I'm sure she will be thrilled to see that she is home taking care of the kids while Ben waxes poetic on a couch with Jessica Alba.
When I first saw this photo of Jalen Rose I really thought it was one of those t-shirt tuxedos.
I guess Katie Holmes has given up on the duck walk and now Tom just simply buys larger heels.
I'm not sure what Kate Walsh was thinking here.
The scary photo of the day goes to Lynn Whitfield. I think I am going to change the name of this award to The Verne of the day.
Mariah Carey - Washington DC
I know there is a joke somewhere in this photo. I mean it is a 10 foot tall statue of Bob Big Boy. There has to be some kind of Billy Ray Cyrus/Justin Gaston joke I could get from this.
A first time appearance for Tony Goldwyn, but Tim Daly has been here before.
The lovely Maura Tierney.
Tea Leoni out at Sundance.
She looks stoned to me. Or drunk.
Vanessa Hudgens slowly is turning into the love child of Axl Rose and Slash.

Quick Hits Part Two - Lost Spoiler

Who Cares? - John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston have allegedly broke up for the 4,023rd time and this time it is really done. OK, well it's done until it's not done anymore or until someone needs a shot of publicity. Then of course the romance will be back on and they will be getting married and she will be getting pregnant and Pete Wentz will be there to film it all. I know that last part sounds ridiculous, but this whole relationship has been ridiculous and everything about Jennifer Aniston is ridiculous.

I Wonder What She Wore - The NY Post is reporting that someone actually went out on a date with Renee Zellweger and they were not even blind. OK, that is kind of mean. Even blind people would run away screaming. So, who is the guy who scored this wonderful date? MSNBC anchor Dan Abrams. The two were spotted doing one of those tabloid "they look like they are in love" kind of dinners. Do you think she really ate anything?

Lost Spoiler - I know lots of you are excited about the new season of Lost. I myself have been trying to play a massive game of beat the clock and trying to watch the first four seasons of the show in order to be ready for the premiere tonight. I don't think I will make it, but I should be ready in time for episode number two this year. I'm sure lots of you have been reading about the time shifting and all of the other gimmicks the show is incorporating this year, but I know how this season ends. Yes, it turns out that in the very last episode, all the cast members are sitting around a fire when Jeff Probst emerges from the jungle and tells them they have all been participating in a very special edition of Survivor. He then points out the various hidden cameras and all the people who died on the show come back and say hi.

Quick Hits Part One

Thanks For Sharing Donnie - Apparently Donnie Wahlberg enjoys being single and isn't afraid to let the world know who he is after and how far he has got with them. Like a high schooler who has seen a bra for the first time, Donnie says that he is after Lady GaGa. He told The Mirror, "Lady GaGa is delicious - we got quite close. We co-wrote a song, she's very talented. I didn't have sex with her but I wouldn't say no." I would have never imagined Donnie using the word delicious to talk about someone, but there you go. So, when I read between the lines here it sounds like Donnie was all over her and she turned him down. Wonder if it was when he was still living with his wife.

I Wouldn't Pay 15 Cents - Britney Spears has been reportedly offered about $15M to write her biography. Scratch that. She actually would have to write between 3 and 5 biographies over the next ten years. Wow, a new biography every two years or so? I know she has a lot of things she goes through, but is there anything she can really ad that is not captured about her life on a daily basis? I admit that it will be a good mother/children bonding moment as the three of them learn to read and write together. Maybe at some point, mommy can read sentences to the kids about her life and run screaming to their dad? Are we as a society that desperate for information about Britney Spears that we will gobble up enough of her books over the next ten years to justify that kind of money? I sure hope not.

Tom Will Sign Anything - The great people over at Defamer were the first to discover this little gem making the rounds on the internet. It is a video from the Berlin premiere of Valkyrie. As you watch Tom work his way up the red carpet signing autographs, you will notice that one of his security people hands him a mask from one of the members of Anonymous. Tom autographs it and passes it back to the person.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which celebrity used to enjoy secret gay romps? The popular fella in question is now keeping it from his wife...

Extortion Attempt Against The Travolta Family

The Bahama Tribune is reporting that an attempt has been made to extort money from the family of John Travolta following the death of his son Jett. The paper says that no formal complaint has been filed with the police by Travolta or his attorneys, but that the Bahamian government is aware of the attempt.

A friend of the Travolta family and former Tourism Minister had this to say. "There was an incident that was brought to my attention that I subsequently alerted the Travolta's lawyers to (because) it is reprehensible that someone would think to benefit from a gentleman who's grieving," he said yesterday. "So I spoke with (Travolta's) lawyers (who) have subsequently spoken to individuals in Grand Bahama and that's as far as I know - I think the matter is being handled by respective lawyers."

In fact Travolta's lawyers did release a statement to a Jacksonville newspaper saying, "Regrettably in a time of such terrible grief there are often a few individuals who attempt to make false claims in hopes of making millions of dollars. We will never let that happen".

Now, what is barely mentioned in the Bahamian newspaper and not at all in the Jacksonville paper is what that extortion attempt is about. The only clue is this sentence in the Bahamas news account.

"The reported extortion attempt is said to involve an individual - reportedly a health care worker - trying to sell sensitive information or photos to international media agencies. Earlier in the week, it was reported that two individuals - one allegedly a politician - were involved in an extortion attempt of the Travolta family. "

Honestly, unless there is some complete lie that everyone in the world has been fed about Jett's death, I really don't want to see or hear more about it. I definitely don't want to see any cell phone photos that were taken, and I really don't care if he had Kawasaki Syndrome or not. At this point, I just want this all to go away and let a family grieve over their child.

Strip For Your Stepfather Girls - He'll Give You A T-Shirt

So, if I asked all of you who your ideal boyfriend would be, I'm doubting that any of you would choose Joe Francis. Yes, he has some money, but he is a convicted sex offender so the money thing is kind of not going to be enough. Plus, he probably has had sex with Paris Hilton. You know, Paris has said recently that she only has had sex with two people in her life. While she may define sex in a slightly different way than the rest of the earth's population, all of us have seen her have sex once and she wasn't a virgin at the time. So, does she wants us to believe that all of the other guys she has gone out with don't need to fear for the lives of their peen forever?

Anyway, back to Joe. Now, we have already established that he is not going to be high on your list of wishful dates. If you had two young daughters do you think you would be more or less likely to date him? Yeah, that's what I thought. Well apparently the star of The Real Housewives Of Atlanta, Kim Zolciak doesn't share the same opinions of Joe that the rest of the world does. Despite his reputation and the fact she has two young daughters hasn't stopped Kim from being Joe's new girlfriend. This isn't one of those saw them at a restaurant thing making out or something. Nope. They have been shacking up together through the entire Sundance festival.

Well at least if he marries her I guess he thinks he will have some homegrown talent for his new special, "My Girls Gone Wild."

RAZZIE Nominations

I must admit that when the RAZZIES were announced I thought there would be more Jessica Simpson to be found. In fact, I thought they might just start a whole new award called the Jessica Simpson Award and have it be for the movie most likely to open #1 in Siberia or something. If you want to look at the complete list of nominations, click here. I will warn you in advance that they have a really annoying ad everytime you click from one category to the next.

STATS on RAZZIE® WORST PICTURE NOMINEES for 2008
Disaster Movie
6 Nominations: Worst Picture, Supporting Actress (2x) Rip-Off, Director(s) and Screenplay
Released	Aug. 29, 2008 by Lionsgate
Rotten Tomatoes Rating	98% Negative
Box Office	$14,190,901
Budget	$20 million (estimated)
(Recently Ranked #2 on IMDb’s Bottom 100 Worst Movies of All Time)
The Happening
4 Nominations: Worst Picture, Actor, Director and Screenplay
Released	June 13, 2008 by 20th Century-Fox
Rotten Tomatoes Rating	81% Negative
Box Office	$64,506,874
Budget	$48 million
The Hottie And The Nottie
5 Nominations: Worst Picture, Actress, Screen Couple, Director and Screenplay
Released	Feb. 8, 2008 by Regency Releasing
Rotten Tomatoes Rating	95% Negative
Box Office	$27,696
Budget	$2 million (estimated)
(Recently Ranked #17 on IMDb’s Bottom 100 Worst Movies of All Time)
In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
5 Nominations: Worst Picture, Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress, Director and Screenplay
Released	Jan. 11, 2008 by Boll KG
Rotten Tomatoes Rating	96% Negative
Box Office	$4,775,656
Budget	$60 million (estimated)
The Love Guru
5 Nominations: Worst Picture, Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor (2x) Director and Screenplay
Released	June 20, 2008 by Paramount
Rotten Tomatoes Rating	86% Negative
Box Office	$32,200,122
Budget	$62 million
Meet The Spartans
5 Nominations: Worst Picture, Supporting Actress, Rip-Off, Director(s) and Screenplay
Released	Jan. 25, 2008 by 20th Century-Fox
Rotten Tomatoes Rating	98% Negative
Box Office	$38,233,676
Budget	$20 million (estimated)

Showering With David Beckham

If you think you are alone in wondering whether David Beckham had any, umm assistance in his Armani underwear ads from last year, I have good new for you. You are not alone. In fact, even his new teammates at AC Milan are curious about what exactly David Beckham is packing in tighty whiteys.

His new teammate Marco Borriello has admitted in an interview that he is curious to see what David Beckham looks like naked. Not the whole body mind you. Nope. Marco just wants to know if the Armani photos were accurate or enhanced.

"I must admit I have a dressing room curiosity over Beckham. I want to see if he is equipped as he is in the Armani underwear adverts."

Well maybe he should just take a photo or two and that way everyone in the world can have their question answered as well. It would be kind of funny to see a showerful of soccer players stop taking a shower when Beckham walked in and dropped the towel just to see if it was real or like Victoria's breasts.

Michael Cera Is On Double Secret Probation

Apparently Michael Cera is living in his own world which has its own voices and people talking to him and doesn't hear anything else. I think he is single handedly trying to destroy the Arrested Development movie. I know I have discussed this before, but I also know this is important to many of us. Every single article and interview I have read or watched has all said the same thing. The movie is ready to go, and that Michael Cera is the only holdout.

Well, at Sundance, Michael Cera was promoting his new movie "Paper Heart" where he plays a goofy, but lovable slacker teenager who always has a wide eyed look of amazement. Oh, wait a second. That is every damn role he has ever done. Yes, Michael you are a one role actor so I hope you are saving all the money you are making now because the acting roles are going to dry up unless you can figure out how to actually act and not be yourself.

Anyway, in this interview Cera says that an Arrested Development movie is way down the road and is "more hypothetical than people think." OK, then how come every actor and actress from the show have already said it is ready to go and only the goofy one thinks it is more of a maybe. I can just see the interview with Cera in a year saying the same thing while the movie is premiering.

Another American Dream

Two mornings in a row I have had to start off by talking about people doing porn who should really rather not. Yesterday it was the former Miss USA and today it is Amy Fisher. You remember Amy don't you? She was a teenager at the time when she shot her boyfriend's wife in the face. Yeah, that Amy Fisher. You know that was 17 years ago now? Yeah, it happened in 1992. Since then Amy, and the guy she shot Joey Buttafuoco have kind of been on the fringes of being famous, but nothing that would make them much money.

Then, Amy discovered the world of porn. Well actually her loser husband did. About 18 months ago, Amy's husband secretly taped Amy naked and also having sex and sold it to a porn distributor without his wife knowing. She found out when she saw some teaser for it on an internet site. "Hey, look, it's me naked." She sued the company, but settled for the money they offered.

It must have been enough that now she is having her own pay-per-view special. If you have $20 you can sit at home in the privacy of your own living room and watch what is being billed as extremely explicit XXX "Amy Fisher: Totally Nude & Exposed."

See, another American success story. Date a married 35 year old guy while you are 17. Shoot his wife in the face, almost killing her and permanently scarring her. Have Drew Barrymore star in a movie about you. Wander around aimlessly making bucks off what you did and now at 34 become a porn star and rich.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which supermodel had to have an uber-rocker’s teeth marks photoshopped off her bared bottom after her magazine photo shoot?

Today's Blind Items

This award winning B list always film actor had been booked to make a paid appearance at a pre-inaugural event. He missed the event. How come? Well turns out that he just couldn't be bothered to leave his hotel room and his meth. Six months ago this actor never did any drugs and now he spends almost every waking moment doing meth.

Random Photos Part One

That is a whole lot of people. If you can get a million people all in one place and take their photo I will put it at the top also.

They were all there to see this.
You know it is cold when even celebrities don't care about anything but staying warm.
Anne Hathaway and her father.
Anthony Kiedis apparently loves popcorn.
The new Bratt Pack - Peter Bratt, Talisa Soto Bratt and Benjamin Bratt.
David Arquette with a little gray in the beard and a bow tie. Who would have thunk it?
Diane Von Furstenberg aka the woman who gave Whitney Port her pretend job.
Ewan McGregor and Alan Cumming.
The only one I could find of Gerard Butler, but I figured most of you would be happy with half, than none.
I still can't quite place which cast member of "Dallas" Jessica Alba reminds me of most. Definitely Victoria Principal hair though.
Kristen Stewart promoting something other than Twilight.
Larry David apparently brings his own refreshments to dinner parties.
Hammer time.
This is Maria Valverde posing in front of a poster for what appears to be "The Anarchist's Wife." My question is that I thought anarchists in general don't believe in government so marriage is government, so why would they bother.
Rachel Leigh Cook
Yes it is Shakira on consecutive days but yesterday she had to be in a photo with Jennifer Lopez and Paulina Rubio. She deserves her own spotlight.
Spike Lee. Is he wearing that Yankees hat under his coat because I don't know where that white fur is coming from.
I don't know what Sharon Lawrence was thinking when she got dressed in this.
Sting and Trudie Styler.
This photo of Teri Hatcher just seems all out of proportion. I mean it looks like her head is about twice as big as the rest of her.
Val Kilmer from a distance.
And up close and personal.

Quick Hits Part Two

Balfour Pleads Not Guilty - Jennifer Hudson's brother-in-law pleaded not guilty to first degree murder and home invasion in a Chicago courtroom today. Balfour is accused of killing their mother, brother and Julia Hudson's 7-year-old son. He is being held without bail and is next scheduled to appear in court Jan. 27. Jennifer is due to sing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl on February 1st.

Shia Can't Drive 55 - I know, but when is the last time you saw a Sammy Hagar reference in a blog post. Shia LaBeouf had his drivers license suspended because of his July car crash. The suspension took effect on Saturday and is a result of Shia "refusing all chemical tests." The suspension will last at least a year. Even though Shia was ruled to not be at fault in the accident, you still lose your license if you don't blow the cops. Ooops. I meant blow for the cops.

Kelly Rutherford Fires Back - In new court documents, Kelly says she had to call the cops on her husband twice in the past few months. Once in New York and once in Los Angeles because he was yelling and screaming at her. Because he is a boxer and a kick boxer she was scared. Both times the police asked her husband to leave, but no one was ever arrested. Kelly is four months pregnant with their second child.

Quick Hits Part One

The Cycle Continues - Katie Holmes was cast in a film. Yep. Someone is going to pay her fee to have the film go nowhere and bomb. Meanwhile every other member of the cast of "The Extra Man" will be ignored throughout the entire process and all anyone will know is that Katie Holmes is in a movie and when will Tom visit the set and what gifts will they bring the crew and will Tom show up at the red carpet and take away the spotlight from everyone else. Oh well, at least when it does bomb she will get all the blame as well.

Dakota Culkin Was Maybe Drunk - I am no better than everyone else by repeating this here, but the Coroner in LA says that Dakota Culkin was likely impaired when she tried to cross a street and was killed by a car. The coroner said there was alcohol in her blood but doesn't know how much. So, if you don't know how much then why do you say she was likely impaired? Her family did say she had been getting treatment for alcohol related issues. I say if you don't know, you don't know and leave it at that. Don't let the world think she was drunk if she wasn't.

The Laugh Of The Day - Amy Winehouse called her dad and asked why Blake wanted to divorce her. Her dad replied, "You know I don't like him, but I have to admit that your behavior with another man is not what marriage is all about." I don't think anything in their marriage is what marriage is all about. It cracks me up that he gets on her for having sex with a guy while on vacation and how that looks bad on the marriage. What about the other 10,000 things that have gone on during the marriage?

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which aging actress is having to turn down parts because she is so afraid of high definition TV? She's terrified her wrinkles and liver spots will be magnified on HD.

Uma Is Better Than Us - Maybe

Next time you go on a flight I want you to try this. I want you to walk up and down the aisles doing stretching and yoga routines. You need to go back and forth several times. Then after you have finished doing that I want you to go to the front of the plane. Yep, go to the front of the plane where the flight attendants have their area. Go right up to there and start doing plies right there. If the flight attendants are there it doesn't matter. Just take over their station and start practicing your ballet. When they order you back to your seat, or depending on your ethnicity thrown you in some handcuffs, just tell them that Uma Thurman could do it so why couldn't you?

According to the NY Post, Uma did just that on a flight that was about four hours long. Now, I think on any flight that is over a certain amount of time you are going to get up, and stretch. I just think that if you tried to do what Uma did you would be beat down. Can you imagine if the entire plane had said, "wow, I think I'm going to do the same thing" that they would have got away with it? I don't think so.

If Uma had been smoking in the bathroom she would have got in trouble. I don;t doubt that. I just think that when it comes to certain behaviors that celebrities get treated much differently than "everyday people." I'm not sure if anyone other than a celebrity or someone very used to getting their own way would have basically taken over the flight attendant's area for 20 minutes and made it their very own personal workout space.

Are we meek? Do we just accept being herded and kept in our places? Maybe we should be more like Uma and do as we please. Did Uma do it because she is Uma or did Uma do it because she knew no one would stop her?

Need Some Money Renee?

You know if Renee Zellweger needs a couple of bucks, I'm happy to lend it to her. I mean I think all of us would if it would save us from having to look at her wearing an outfit like she wore to the Golden Globes. I can only think she must need money because of her recent statements about Hanes underwear. Victoria goes for the Armani bucks and Renee goes for Hanes. Whatever works for you.

It seems that while filming a movie in Winnipeg, Renee experienced cold. Winnipeg cold. Winter Winnipeg cold. For someone who doesn't have any fat stored anywhere on her body I could see how this posed a problem.

"It was a whole different kind of experience. I had to develop new survival skills. It was a whole new language for the biological things that happen. Who knew that pantyhose could be so very important - three or four pairs at a time."

"I never imagined that I would rejoice at the pantyhose laid out on the bed by wardrobe every morning. They were essential. I would not be here today were it not for the Hanes."

It is like the company wrote it for her. Wow, that is some serious sucking up. I guess she sees how much they have paid Michael Jordan for his commercials and thinks she can get some of that action. Umm, Renee, I don't think you are going to get Michael Jordan money. You might get a couple of bucks and maybe a card good for free underwear for life, but I don't think this is going to be the money making scheme you think it will be.

I don't really have a problem with someone sucking up to a company for money. I just think she could have chosen a company which would have probably paid more or had a product she would enjoy more. Hi Blackberry!!

The part about this that gets me is this. Look at what she says happened every morning. The wardrobe people laid out her pantyhose for her every morning. Sure, the people in wardrobe who are either working for free or practically nothing have to get out of bed at 430am and lay out her pantyhose so the rich one doesn't freeze. God forbid that Renee could put on some damn pantyhose without their assistance in the morning. And she would rejoice? Who the hell says that in their day to day conversation. Even when I see a 3x3 at In-N-Out I don't rejoice. I drool, I growl, but I don't rejoice. She just comes across as the most insincere person ever. I'm surprised she didn't have the wardrobe people warm the pantyhose every morning so she wouldn't catch a chill.

Hope They Used Protection Or MySpace Might Have A Virus

I have had my dreams crushed today. Seriously. I always thought that if I became a billionaire that I could have any woman I wanted. I would be able to finally have my shot at Eva Mendes. But, apparently that is not the case. Apparently despite how much money you have, you are still forced to mess around with the likes of Paris Hilton. I swear to you that if I had a billion dollars, I would never, ever even touch Paris Hilton, so I don't know why the CEO of MySpace is jumping all over her bones.

Oh yes he did. Chris DeWolfe, who is not a horrible looking guy and Paris hooked up at a club while they were both at Sundance together. When I say hooked up I don't mean they shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. I mean they groped and fondled each other and made out both vertically in a corner and then horizontally on a table in full view of everyone. After the the table incident I guess they decided to go wherever two people go in that situation. I doubt it was to Denny's. All I hope is that billions of dollars can buy you the very best in protection if you know what I mean.

The sad part is that when news outlets began picking up on this story, and calling MySpace for a comment, even the spokesperson there couldn't really hide their disgust.

“This is what happens when altitude affects your brain. ... They’re just having fun.”

Lets hope it is not the kind of fun that lasts a lifetime.

I'm A Little Confused

I know this would never happen, but if the Armani people came up to me and said, "Enty we want you to replace David Beckham as our model, because, well, we know you don't need a cup to fill out the tighty whiteys," I would be honored. Sure, my body isn't as firm or fit as David's and you probably wouldn't actually be able to see me in the underwear. Just a flash of white amongst the rolls of fat, but I would try. I think that I would know that except for the underwear I wouldn't be wearing anything and that the idea is to sell that underwear.

So, when I read that Victoria Beckham is getting paid a gazillion dollars by Armani to be their lingerie model, I assumed she knew she would have to show some skin. I mean look at the photos above. She did show some skin, but even getting those shots was a huge pain for the photographer. According to the Daily Express, Victoria told the photographers that no photos of her butt were allowed at any time. In addition, as much as possible, no photos of her stomach unless there was extensive makeup and darkened lighting. And, after the photo, extensive airbrushing of her stomach to hide any lines or marks or the scars from her C-Sections.

I know that everyone wants to look their best when they are going to be flashed all over the world in photos where you are barely wearing anything, but it also seems to me that she is trying to sell something that she isn't. She is trying to sell perfection and that anyone can have three kids and look as good as her and that if you don't, then you are doing something wrong.

It's obvious that she doesn't like certain parts of her body. That is human. All of us are like that. She should come out and say that to the world and not pretend otherwise. I think people would like her much better if she was honest about it and said the only way she could look this good was she was rich, has had a bunch of surgery and always gets air brushed. To pretend otherwise is just perpetuating this unrealistic expectation that people put on themselves. So, next time Victoria, just take the photos as you are. Be proud of who you are. I think people would actually look up to you for not hiding and also make people feel better about themselves and their expectations.

Proud To Be An American

I bet you thought this was going to be some kind of inauguration post when you read the title didn't you? No, nothing like that. Instead I'm just so proud that a country like mine which has brought joy to so many in the form of Coors Light, Miller Lite and the Bartles & Jaymes guys can also turn a former Miss USA winner into a porn star.

Kelli McCarty won the Miss USA title in 1991. Since then she has made her fame doing soaps and I think was even the subject of a soap blind item. I need to go back and check. Anyway, she has decided that if she is going to get paid for her minimal acting talent she would rather do it naked and get paid more. So, she is now officially a porn star. I don't recall that being a part of her talent at the Miss USA competition but maybe she gave a preview to some of the judges. Kelli says she has always wanted to be a porn star and that it combines her two favorite things. Acting and sex. Well hopefully she is better at the sex than she is at the acting. I have seen her on the soap Passions and I guess you could call it acting in the sense that she was playing a character other than herself.

Her parents must be so proud. I mean to see their little girl spend all those years doing the beauty pageants and culminating in a Miss USA title and almost a Miss Universe title to now spending her life faking orgasms for money on film. It truly is the American dream.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which eccentric actor got his start in the biz by letting directors in where the sun don’t shine?

Today's Blind Items

This former celebrity girlfriend of an A lister has made it perfectly clear this week that she wants a return to the limelight. How so? Well she has propositioned a number of actors with movies coming out that she will be more than happy to be their girlfriend as long as they take her to any event getting press for their movie.

Random Photos Part One

Martin Luther King Jr.
Adele - Washington DC
Bai Ling in a dress and no band aids. Wow.
Anyone want to take a guess on how much those earrings on Angelina Jolie cost?
Oh, it's a Got Milk Ad. For a second I thought Christie Brinkley's ex was showing us the porn he used to watch.
Courtney Ford Ballou and Brandon Routh
David Beckham at the Armani fashion show.
Daniel Craig in Rome. That is a very interesting look.
Is it my imagination or does Demi Moore look younger than Ashton Kutcher?
Denise Richards and her bug eye look.
Eric Bana and his wife.
I think Emma Roberts is still a little young to be be posing like this.
It's been awhile since I had Gwen Stefani in the photos.
Ione Skye and Ben Lee back from their honeymoon or spiritual retreat or whatever it was.
John Densmore has always scared me. This is not going to help things in that regard.
The one and only Jeff Daniels.
Our staged candid photo of the day goes to Kelly Brook and Danny Cirpiani.
I was going to go with "If the glove does not fit, you must acquit." I think that Kim Kardashian is one person who should really think hard about the whole one glove look.
Shaggy!
Apparently Mandy Moore was headed to an audition when this photo was taken. I'm guessing it was a sequel to March Of The Penguins.
O.A.R. - Seattle
Olivia Thirlby returns to the site. I just wanted to make sure she knew that I had not forgot about how she treated Richard at that press conference. You don't treat CDAN writers like that.
Look. Prince Albert finally got out of the can and he ended up at the South Pole.
Apparently this Swiss company has invented a paper house. Each house costs $5,000 and can support a family of 8. Yes, 8. It even has plumbing. They are designed for refugee camps.
Paulina Rubio, Shakira, and Jennifer Lopez who just happens to be showing off her ring.
"I fake love you more than you fake love me."
Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott still promoting their latest movie.
It's a Culkin. This time Rory.
Sheryl Crow & will.i.am - Washington DC
Scarlett J in her new ad campaign.
Tobey Maguire at an inauguration event.
U2 before the played the show at the Lincoln Memorial yesterday.
And during the show.

Quick Hits Part Two

Katy Perry Smacked Down - Katy was not smacked down like we would all probably hope for, but she was given an award and then had to give it back when the French NRJ organization realized it had failed to carry the 1 when adding the votes by hand and gave Katy Perry an award which should have gone to Rihanna instead. Katy, clutching the award in her hand was last seen sprinting for the exits saying it was all hers and that she liked it.

Kevin James Promotes And Wins - To all actors who think your work stops when the filming does. Take note. Kevin James did everything possible to promote his movie, Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Guess what? It worked. It will have made $40M by the end of the three day weekend and it has a lot to do with how hard he worked to promote it. Now, because he did that he will get an even bigger paycheck for the next film. See, that's how it works. No sense of entitlement, just a guy making a movie and then working his butt off to make sure it does well.

1. "Paul Blart: Mall Cop," $33.8 million.
2. "Gran Torino," $22.2 million.
3. "My Bloody Valentine 3-D," $21.9 million.
4. "Notorious," $21.5 million.
5. "Hotel for Dogs," $17.7 million.
6. "Bride Wars," $11.75 million.
7. "The Unborn," $9.8 million.
8. "Defiance," $9.2 million.
9. "Marley & Me," $6.3 million.
10. "Slumdog Millionaire," $5.9 million.

James McAvoy Talks Smack - Ever wonder why you only see James out and about when he is promoting a film? Seems that he feels actors should only be seen at that time or else people will grow tired of them and never want to see any movie they appear in.

"There comes a point where, you just can’t watch an actor without… I just know so much about them. So how can I accept them in a role? There are just some people, they’re not actors to me. They’re chip paper. Just glossy paper. “If I’m in a film, or a telly, or a play, then why should people come and see it? Because you know, they can just pick up some f***ing rubbish magazine, and see me in that.”

He makes a good point. In the past, the only way you could see your favorite performers was in something they had done, but now, their job is just kind of a sideshow to their real job which appears to be staying famous and using fame to get more money rather than using your talent.

The Submarines - Canada Ticket Contest

So, I finally organized a contest just for the Canadian readers. Well, I take that back. I mean anyone can enter, but I am only giving away tickets to one of the Canadian shows for The Submarines. It seems like I hear that song of theirs You, Me, and the Bourgeoisie every five seconds on iPhone commercials, and lucky for us they actually have some Canada dates on their tour and have graciously allowed me to give away two tickets to one of their Canadian shows. The entire tour is below. But, if you are interested in seeing them in either Montreal, Toronto or Vancouver, send an e-mail to me by Friday at midnight to ent.lawyer@yahoo.com and tell me in which Canadian city you want to see them.

The Submarines:
Jan 29 2009 - The Loft at UCSD - La Jolla, California
Jan 30 2009 - Detroit Bar - Costa Mesa, California
Feb 1 2009 - Club Congress - Tucson, Arizona
Feb 3 2009 - Stubb’s BBQ - Austin, Texas
Feb 4 2009 - The Pontiac Garage - Dallas, Texas
Feb 7 2009 - Local 506 -Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Feb 8 2009 - Black Cat Backstage D.C., Washington DC
Feb 9 2009 - Johnny Brenda’s Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Feb 10 2009 - Mercury Lounge New York, New York
Feb 11 2009 - The Bell House Brooklyn, New York
Feb 13 2009 - Middle East Boston, Massachusetts
Feb 14 2009 - Il Motore Montreal, Quebec
Feb 15 2009 - The Drake Hotel Toronto, Ontario
Feb 17 2009 - Schuba’s Tavern Chicago, Illinois
Feb 18 2009 - Triple Rock Social Club Minneapolis, Minnesota
Feb 20 2009 - Hi-Dive Denver, Colorado
Feb 21 2009 - Kilby Court Salt Lake City, Utah
Feb 23 2009 - The Biltmore Cabaret Vancouver, British Columbia
Feb 24 2009 - Chop Suey Seattle, Washington
Feb 25 2009 - Doug Fir Lounge Portland, Oregon
Feb 27 2009 - SLIM’S (Noise Pop 2009) / San Francisco, California
Feb 28 2009 - Troubadour Los Angeles, California


Now, speaking of Canada, I found this great Montreal band that I think is amazing. Plus they have a great name. Bad Flirt. As an added bonus they are readers of the site so you really know they must be great. I am posting the video from the first release off their latest CD, but seriously, their second single is called Mad, Mad, Madeleine World and it is amazing. You can click here to listen for free. I swear to you that you will be humming this thing all damn week.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which rising Brit actor is already falling out with Hollywood A-Listers? Who does he think he is?

Quick Hits Part One

Amy's Fling - Apparently Amy Winehouse has decided that since Blaaaake is in jail, any guy or girl she decides to have sex with is just all for fun. Therefore she will fight to keep her man. She told The Sun that she won't ever let Blaaaaaaake divorce her because they are perfect for each other. He is the male version of Amy she says. Uh huh.

Kelly Arrested - Kelly Osbourne was arrested for slapping a female reporter after the reporter implied that Kelly's boyfriend/future husband was an idiot because he didn't know what an earthquake is. Kelly took exception to it and slapped the woman. Kelly was later arrested for assault. I don't condone violence, but what did the reporter expect? Did she think Kelly would just laugh and they would go off and share a drink together? I think the reporter did it so she would get some kind of reaction from Kelly and another story.

Courtney Love Is A Matchmaker - No, she doesn't sit around her house chopping up little sticks and dipping them in match juice. OK, so it's probably sulphur or some other kind of chemical, but I think match juice sounds better. Anyway, Courtney thinks Frances should only date British guys and so has been trying to set up The Bean with Robert Pattinson. Yeah, it is always good to set up your 16 year old kid with a 22 year old.

Lots Of Screaming At That Party

I'm sure that Christina Aguilera and her husband have thrown lots of parties where the screaming and crying got out of hand. Of course most of those probably involved Christina and her friends and were more of an adult nature.

Over the weekend Christina and Jordan had a birthday party for their son Max who turned one last week. Wow, time really does fly by. Anyway, this is not a dig at Christina or Jordan as parents in any way, shape, or form. It is just an observation. With six ex-wives comes a lot of in-laws and with those in-laws comes children. I have probably been to about 20 birthday parties for one year olds. 95% of the time the parents make a huge elaborate production over the party and do whatever they can to make it memorable for their child. The problem is their kid doesn't even know what the heck is going on and sure won't remember it except from the thousands of photos and hundreds of hours of home movies used to document the event.

Christina and Jordan threw Max a party using the theme Where The Wild Things Are. Great theme. Great idea. If the kid was like 4. Apparently Christina invited a bunch of other parents all with their one and two year old kids including Joel and Nicole and their daughter Harlow. That is all well and good, and if you want to spend the money to make yourself feel like you are good parents, then do so.

The thing that killed me about the party though is that also attending the party were people dressed up as all the characters from the book who went around talking to the kids. Umm, imagine people dressed as scary monsters interacting with a bunch of one and two year old kids. Do you think there was a lot of laughter and high fiving?

No. I think there was a bunch of screaming and crying and kids scared out of their mind and a group of actors sent home really early.

Gwyneth Talks About Gamma Rays Or The Force Or Something Jedi

Whoever is monitoring Gwyneth Paltrow's website GOOP, which I discussed last month does not appear to be doing a good job of keeping out the naysayers. As, you know a celebrity with a vanity project does not like to be contradicted and so it is the job of those webmasters to keep out anything negative. I will say that Gwyneth has been reading the message boards on her site, but has nothing but scorn for the people who write negative things.

See, in Gwyneth's world, the only thing that is right is Gwyneth. I mean she really believes that. Can you imagine being married to her? Seriously, it's no wonder that Coldplay seems like they have been on a non-stop six year tour.

In a recent interview Gwyneth started babbling about how she was going to take over the world and mold it in her image and start a worldwide chain of gyms with her trainer so people could like her and feel like her. I say no thanks. Death is not that far off as it is so I don't need to look like it or feel like it until my time is here.

She says that anyone who criticizes GOOP just doesn't understand that she, Gwyneth has valuable advice to offer.

"People get a hit of energy when they are negative and it is very detrimental for them. They do not understand why they do not have a happy life. That kind of stuff is just noise to me. I feel sorry for them.

"I have this incredible, lucky, unique life where I've gotten to travel all over the place and so I started to acquire all of this information. I thought this would be a fun, creative way to share it. I thought if I could affect one woman's life positively, it was worth it."

Yeah, so let me get this straight. By her calculations, I should have been hit with about 20 bolts of energy since I started writing this post because of all the negative things I said about her. This in turn is causing me to have an unhappy life. The kind of life where I eat what I want, drink what I want and go to the bathroom a normal amount of times.

Apparently she thinks because she has traveled all over the world, and most "everyday people" have not, that she is in some unique position to share everything she has discovered with the world. Did she seriously wake up one morning, climb out of her coffin and say, "People should want to be me. I am going to give my gift of knowledge to the world so they can be like me. Get your ass out of bed Chris. I know real people don't sleep 20 hours a day. I think you are avoiding me."

Please Stop Having Sex In The Grocery Store

I know you are expecting to read some post about people who are always having sex in the grocery store. Do people do that? Do you ever wonder whether, after the store closes, maybe some workers are doing some things they probably shouldn't while laying on the display of apples?

Apparently Bruce Springsteen has not been grocery shopping in quite some time. From the quotes in an recent interview with The Observer, I'm saying it has been, many, many years.

"They opened up this big, beautiful supermarket near where we lived. I remember walking through the aisles and I thought 'This place is spectacular. This place is a fantasy land!'"

Umm, Bruce. It's a place to get food and booze and where people wonder if they have enough money to buy enough to feed their family. It probably seems like a fantasy land only to people who don't go grocery shopping or to people who don't have grocery stores in their countries.

"And then I started to get into it. I started looking around and hmm - the subtext in here is so heavy. It's like, do people really want to shop in this store or do they just want to screw on the floor?"

Has anyone ever said to themselves, "You know what? Screw the shopping, I am just going to find someone and throw them up against the Captain Crunch and have my way with them." As you may have guess, I am fairly perverted, but I can honestly say that I have never thought about laying down on the floors of any grocery store. Never even crossed my mind. Do I want to roll around in the bakery displays? Well sure, but who doesn't want the chance to do that? But sex on the floor? I don't think so.

"Maybe it's about buying groceries but maybe there's this other thing going on. In the States supermarkets are sort of shameless, the bounty in them is overflowing. So the sexual subtext, well, maybe it's just twisted me, but wow, it's my new favorite place."

I'm glad he enjoys going, so maybe now it will give him some perspective. Bruce has always been the guy for the middle class and the guy who cares for the downtrodden. He is still a big giver and donates a huge amount of his time, but either he was smoking a LOT right before and during the interview or he has really lost touch. I honestly think you would only get this feeling about a grocery store if you were stoned out of your mind or if you had not been in a really long time. I just don't think any of his fans have those kinds of thoughts about the grocery store. I don't think the average person thinks of it as a fantasy land. I could go into a big spiel about how a grocery store will give you a cross section of life like almost no other place, but I don't think any of them are thinking about sex.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which odd couple better hope their mutual spouses don’t discover that they shared a recent night of passion in Las Vegas?