Four For Friday - Bad Drug Behavior

Every so often I like to have a theme on the Four For Friday and one of my favorites is always drug use. Sure, there are the times where nothing beats a great bestiality story like the time that, no, you don't want to hear about that do you? I didn't think so. I will tell you about that another day. What? OK, well it does have drug use in it so that's ok. We are going to have to go back a little in the way back machine.

Not too far. You certainly know both of the actors involved in this. The two actors at this point were both C list. They had already descended from their highest levels (B+ with A list name recognition) and were now staring at their own mediocrity and failed careers. On this movie though they were stars and filming outside the US and in the middle of nowhere. Well, with nothing to do at night, the two were doing non-stop drugs day and night. Well, one night they woke up the animal wrangler for the movie and paid him a significant amount of money to bring them a sheep. I don't need to go into details, but it is fair to say they both took a turn.

#3 - There was a party at this celebutard's house about six months ago. At the time he was kind of on a tryout with his wealthy parents who had decided to give him another chance. All of you know this celebutard. You don't want to know him and would never want to meet him, but you know who he is. Anyway, jacked up on enough coke and speed to kill a rhino our celebutard decided to do his own feats of strength. How so? He took a sledgehammer and totaled the brand new car of one of his guests. The guest was not amused and absolutely beat the living crap out of the celebutard.

#4 - This Academy Award Winning actor was filming a movie about two years ago. He gave a great performance but it was not the performance the director had in mind. What was supposed to be an uptight character turned into a sleeping, slow witted, type of character which caused the movie to go over budget and shoot for twice as long. The reason was our actor was shooing up heroin almost constantly and could barely even function and could only remember a line at the most for each shot.

Rachel Bilson Goes Off On The Paps

I think one of the things that paps are going to regret is the introduction of video into their world. The reason is that by now we have seen what kind of inane questions they ask, and the way they try and provoke celebrities into a reaction that will sell better.

In this instance, there was none of that but I am completely on the side of Rachel Bilson. She and her little sister were out shopping yesterday at Toys-R-Us and were being hounded by a group of paps who were calling out her name to get her to look up and kept racing from aisle to aisle to try and get a better shot and were basically just being annoying.

Earlier in the day Rachel had been really nice to them and let them take shots of her alone and even one or two of her sister. However, by the time they got to the store things had got way out of hand and none of the employees of the store had any experience in dealing with paps and no one was willing to kick them out and so it really got crazy.

As you can see here, Rachel finally had had enough and let them have it. They have definitely made an enemy of her and Toys-R-Us didn't do any favors for themselves either by not kicking out the paps when they had the chance.

Random Photos Part One

I just really love this photo, and Kate Winslet on top is definitely not a bad choice. Wow, I didn't even expand on the double entendre there.
A first time appearance for Alison Brie in the photos. Have I told you how much I like cheese? I wonder how many cheese jokes she has heard in her life.
Andie MacDowell looks really different than normal.
I almost didn't even recognize Boyz II Men without their matching clothes.
I don't know if it is the angle or what, but if it wasn't for the entire tube of lipstick on her lips, I am not sure I would have immediately recognized Christina Aguilera who is standing next to jewelry designer Stephen Webster.
Cut Off Your Hands - Perth
Apparently Jennifer Aniston has a mock up of the Friends set in her house. No, it is the original set, but still, that would be kind of creepy if she did.
Yeah, I really need to think about stalking Isla Fisher.
The looks like oral sex photo of the day.
Any guesses? How about Katarina Witt. Have not seen her in forever.
Apparently Lara Croft can also kill you with cell phones.
Melora Hardin turns on the lights at The Empire State Building and
out pop a couple of guys. I think the clapper would probably be more convenient than going to the Empire State Building, but whatever works for her. She looks damn good here.
Love Nikka Costa. Don't love what she is wearing. She should give it to Carrot Top after she is done with it.
N-Dubz - London
No, that isn't your 70 year old grandmother it is Renee Zellweger.
Slash - Los Angeles
Tame Impala - Perth

Your Turn

When I was watching Groundhog Day this week and watched Bill Murray try to kill himself in a variety of different ways, I was reminded of some scary moments of my own. There was the time I stumbled into a macrobiotic restaurant. When I realized what it was, my eyes glazed, my heart started beating faster and I kept hearing Gwyneth's voice in my head saying, "I hate chocolate." I never thought I would find the front door in time to escape.

Now, what I want from you today is the scariest thing you have ever done or the scariest thing you want to do. I will take either. If you have done something scary though, I want details. I don't want to just read, "I went sky diving." I want to know if you had to be pushed out of the plane or if you jumped on your own. Tell me scary.

Quick Hits Part Two

Free Food For Everyone - Val Kilmer is thinking of running for Governor of New Mexico in 2010. Apparently the message he thinks will get him elected is free fast food for everyone. In order to demonstrate his willingness to do what he promises, Val will make it a point to eat at every fast food place in the state at least twice a year.

No One Likes A Loser - In an interview with ABC News, Kate Winslet has said she doesn't want to be the Susan Lucci of the Oscars. Although she loves the fact she has been nominated for so many Academy Awards she would like to win one of them at least once. She doesn't want her headstone to read the most nominated loser in the the history of the Awards. Well, sure no one wants that, but think about how many people don't get nominated or make more than $10K a year acting or the starving children of the world or the fact that Nicolas Cage wears hairplugs and you can see there are more pressing issues than actually winning one of those statutes. That being said, I hope she wins also.

No Beads For Carlos Mencia - Apparently all those really bad jokes Carlos makes about Hurricane Katrina victims finally made their way to the city of New Orleans and as a result, Carlos was yanked as a celebrity rider in the Orpheus parade during Mardi Gras. Mencia had also been scheduled to perform after the parade, but is probably not going to do that either. An Orpheus spokesperson said that Carlos was not sensitive to the needs of the community and is not someone they want to have associated with the parade. Joan Rivers is his replacement. Nice. Just please don't let her flash for beads.

Gwen Stefani Gets Recalled

Well, at least it isn't news that Gwen Stefani was having 8 year old kids make all of her Harajuku clothes. That would be bad, and embarrassing. No, instead it is just a normal, wear it and it might kill you kind of recall. It seems as if the RSL Hoodie and Lovers Leopard hoodies sold for toddlers "have a drawstring through the hood which can pose a strangulation hazard to children."

Now, no one has died and as far as I know, no one has been injured as a result of the jackets, but I'm guessing that someone must have been or else why would there have been an investigation? Do you think someone saw it in the store and knew right away something was wrong with it? I would think no one would really notice unless it happened to their child and then they sent one in to the US Consumer Product Safety Commission.

If you bought one of the jackets you spent $75 but you can get a full refund where you bought it. Oh, and a free best of CD from Gwen. No, not really.

Brazilian Botox?

While Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes continue enjoying the sights and sounds of Brazil and mangling the language, they did also find time to visit the private island of Brazil's best plastic surgeon. According to the NY Post, Tom and Katie and Suri went and visited Dr. Ivo Pitanguy who is known not only for his abilities as a plastic surgeon but also has his own Island of Dr. Moreau thing going with a bunch of exotic animals. Hey, when you are Tom Cruise you don't take your kid to the zoo you fly to her an island with exotic animals and let her loose. While she runs around screaming and crying, the family looks on as if to say, "hey, we really are giving her some new experiences." Of course the cynics of this world might think that Tom paid a visit to the doctor for some plastic surgery for himself, or maybe Katie? I mean I doubt he would go the whole Sharon Stone route and think that Suri needed botox injections in her feet.

It could also be that Tom was trying to help the world economy. I read that the company that manufactures Botox is laying off 500 people because in a recession, people just are not injecting themselves with botulism as much as they do in a thriving economy. The final possibility is that the doctor had been skipping out on his Scientology bill and Tom was there to collect.

Katrina Darrell Doesn't Want To Stunt Her Career

I don't think I have laughed this hard since I don't know when. I have not watched American Idol this year but I do know all about Katrina Darrell and her bikini audition and the videos of her that have surfaced of her doing pole dances at car conventions. I even know she was kicked off the show and of course she is now trying to exploit her 15 minutes of fame. Instead of being realistic about her 15 minutes though, she has decided that somehow she is going to have a huge career in the entertainment business that does not involve her photo being plastered on the cards people hand you on the streets of Las Vegas.

Because of ratings, Access Hollywood of course had her on their show. Priceless. Seriously, it does not get any more delusional than this.

When asked what kind of offers she had been receiving, this is what she said, “[I’ve had] a lot of different offers like Vegas promotion offers. Of course Playboy has called. I wouldn’t say no, but at the same time I don’t want to stunt my career by jumping into that too soon and be labeled once again, as ‘just a body.’ But I don’t knock it."

Oh, Katrina. What kind of career do you think you are going to have? What is there to stunt? All of those Vegas calls. Those are going to be your bread and butter for the next year or so. At that point people will forget about you and you will discover you really didn't have a career at all. Oh, sure you will have posters and be forever known as the bikini girl from American Idol. No one will know your name though and pretty soon you will be autographing photos of you in a bikini for $10 at the local grocery store opening while telling everyone you are working on an album that is going to come out as soon as you can work some things out with a record label and your manager and agent and a million other excuses.

Take the Playboy and run, run, run to the bank and deposit the money they give you. Don't think there will be lots more after that because there won't be.

Quick Hits

Apparently Kellogg's Has Never Heard Of The Munchies - Michael Phelps has lost his first sponsor because of the photo released earlier this week showing him enjoying a bong. Apparently Kellogg's has chosen not to take advantage of this opportunity by selling itself as a snack for people stoned out of their minds and craving cereal, and instead will focus on the elementary school crowd instead with wholesome, nutritious cereals that are good for you like Kellogg's Honey Smacks which is about 50% sugar and one serving has more sugar than a glazed donut. They are missing out here. I'm telling you.

The CW Wants Some Vampires - Everyone wants vampires and to try and find a way to make some money off of them. The latest to try will be the CW which has picked up the pilot for a television show called Vampire Diaries. I was hoping it was like Red Shoe Diaries but it seems to be instead based on a series of books about two vampire brothers who are fighting over the soul of a girl in the town where they live. Oh, and they want the souls of everyone else in town as well. Not a lot of sleeping at night in that town I'm thinking.

Yoko? - It is unanimous. All the members of The Kills except for Jamie Hince have said they don't want Kate Moss on tour with them and sure as hell don't want her on the stage singing any vocals. Apparently Jamie Hince has told Kate she could go on tour with the band and sing and of course Kate wants that because hey, she is a major talent and her kid can look after herself at home. I mean she must be all of 8 by now. Apparently the rest of the band said they didn't want to even see Kate for the next six months while on tour. She really knows how to win people over doesn't she.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which young magazine editor dispenses bags of blow to Hollywood starlets so they can be “extra up” for the photo shoots he arranges?

The Engagement Is Not The Issue

Yesterday afternoon Star reported that Fast And The Furious and not much else actor Paul Walker was engaged to his teenage girlfriend Jasmine Pilchard-Gosnell. Well, US Weekly immediately got on the offensive which basically meant they fielded a call from Paul's people who said the couple was not engaged and US Magazine was indignant that Star was wrong and US was right.

Hey, kids, stop arguing. What the hell does it matter if 35 year old Paul Walker is engaged to his 19 year old girlfriend or are still dating? Who cares. The story is the fact that they have been dating 3 years. Yes, the pair got together when Paul was 32, she was 16 and Paul's daughter was 6. Creepy isn't it? I wonder if that is how they met? I wonder if Paul is looking for someone else now that she has reached the age of consent or if he is ok with her until she starts drinking. I'm not sure exactly what a 32 year old sometime movie star sees in a 16 year old girl, but, perhaps he thinks she will be a great step mom to his daughter or they can have sleepovers and invite their friends over and do each other's hair and talk about boys. Or middle aged men.

Do you think Paul lived in fear everyday that her parents would turn him in? If you were her parent would you let your 16 year old daughter go out with a 32 year old man who had a 6 year old daughter at the time? It's creepy isn't it? Now, I do remember Paul being Mormon so maybe it is an arranged thing or something like that. Wait until they start doing the promotional stuff for the new Fast & Furious movie. Wow, he is going to get some uncomfortable questions. Between his teenage girlfriend and the legal troubles of Michelle Rodriguez, it is going to be a lot of work for the publicists.

Brangelina Baby Bonzana - Adoption Time?

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are in Thailand this week touring refugee camps. It makes a nice change from the flashy premieres and glitz and glamor, and of course all the kids. Angelina was doing her UN thing which, unlike other former celebrities in her position, she actually seems to care about and work hard at bringing attention to the plight of refugees.

It isn't unusual of course for Angelina to go on these things. What is really unusual is for Brad to tag along as well. Now, maybe he just tagged along because he wanted to see the plight of Rohinyga boat people that he had been reading so much about in, well, lets face it, he probably had not heard of them until Angelina spelled out the word for him and showed him on a map where Thailand is.

So, they could be there for what one government minister described as private time but which I like to call the two minute drill. Yeah, that is why I don't get to practice my two minute drill very often. I'm just wondering if it is time for another child. It would be the perfect time and have escape so far the glaring eye of the paps while they make this move. What do you think? Will they come home with another kid? Do we even care? Even with as much money as Brangelina has, is there a cutoff point to where they should stop adding to their family? Can you imagine if Brad and Angelina ever split up what the juggle will be like to make sure all the kids get to see both parents? That will be one crowded McDonald's parking lot when they make the switch. Of course Billy Bob will be honking the whole time, calling everyone sport because he can't remember the kid's names, making cat calls at Brad, while chewing gum and drinking booze and asking Angelina when they were going to do it again. Good times.

Octuplet Mom Nadya Suleman Speaks

NBC interviewed the octuplet mom and the interview is going to be aired in its entirety on Monday during sweeps and will go head to head against the US Airways crew over on CBS which is devoting their entire morning to that story. Hmmm, airline crew saving 150 lives or mom who has created 14 lives. It will be interesting to see which show gets higher ratings.

The octuplet mom says a bunch of crazy things in her interview about how she felt powerless as a child. Ummm, most children feel powerless. I don't think that is a new feeling and doesn't usually make them want to go off and have 14 kids. The thing that gets me about this is that she says that she tried for seven or 8 years to have a baby before she finally had one. OK, lets do the math, shall we. She is 33. Her oldest child is 7 so that means she was 26 when she had her oldest child. 7 or 8 years of actively trying to have a child would put her at 18 or 19 when she started trying. Interesting.

Anyway, below is the excerpt from her interview.

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I Feel Sorry For Jennifer Aniston

I actually never thought I would ever write the words in the headline unless of course you know someone died or something that she knew. Oh, and if she got a grey hair or there was a pot shortage and she didn't have any that she was growing. I don't know if she is growing any, but would it really shock you if she was? No, the reason I feel sorry for her is because Bret Michaels is in love with her. Apparently he isn't going to stop professing his love for her until he gets her attention.

Earlier this week he tried to get people to pay attention to his proclamation of love for her but no one really paid him any mind. But, to prove he was serious he has been talking about it every chance he has had since then. Seriously, it is like high school. Earlier in the week he had a friend call and e-mail some media outlets saying that Bret liked Jen and when that didn't work, Bret started calling them himself. Now, Bret, I don't know what to tell you man, but I think you are probably going to strike out on this one. Hell, I know you are.

Have you seen the women on your show? Yeah, and still you slept with all of them. It isn't like you have a very discerning palate when it comes to this and now you want to add Jennifer to the feast? I don't think so. No, your best chance was before you became a balding, yet long haired Gallagher looking caricature of your former self. That was your only chance to get Jen. You needed to get her when she and Courteney kept alternating Adam Duritz like he was choice beef.

I know what it is like to have those unrequited crushes Bret. I have had and have lots and lots of them. My best advice to you is on your next show, have the casting agents find you a bunch of Jennifer Aniston look-a-likes, but strippers and porn stars of course. And if that doesn't work go find C.C. Deville, put a wig on him and call him Jennifer.

Ted C Blind Item

This baby's sure to break a lotta hearts out there. Now, it's certainly not news that Nevis Divine is undeniably sexy. He's got a steady following from fans and paparazzi to a bevy of nearly naked gals, all vying for a piece of luscious Nev's sorta hairy frame.

But as so often is the case with the hugely slobbered set, Nevis doesn't always look to the chicks to ignite his fire. In fact, we very nearly could have a potential Toothy Tile on our hands, 'cause just like old beloved Tooth, boy Divine was once as carefree with his attraction to guys as he now is with the fairer sex:

Nevis has been famous for a while now, but his white-hot infamy's only recently been building. And we just learned that only a couple of years ago, N.D. showed up to a very prominent Industry function, and as his date, brought along another man. Love this dude's nerve! As N.D. introduced his non-famous plus one, Nevis-babe was sure to label his companion a boyfriend, while the two were nonchalantly "couply" all evening, say those who hang with Mr. D now as they did then.

And no, we're most decidedly not saying this was a boy-date who was simply a friend, but a friend with nooky benefits, for sure. Pals close to our semicloseted heartthrob claim that N.D. would "fool around" with guys sometimes, but that he considered it "no big deal."

Which is ironic because, really, it isn't. At least, not until one of those fooler-arounders heads to the nearest checkbook-dispensing tabloid office.

And it ain't: Robert Buckley, Corbin Bleu, Penn Badgley

Today's Blind Items

Been awhile since I did a rock star one. This now married B+ rock star and father with A+ name recognition had a very weird crab obsession. No, not the eating kind. Seems that whenever he went on the road and decided to have some groupie sex, the women he decided to be with had to be completely shaved because he was paranoid about crabs. If she wasn't, she had to right then. Seems he had been the recipient of the infestation not once, but twice and had to do some explaining when he got home from the road.

Random Photos Part One

Lux Interior - RIP
Everyone always seems to like when I put Aaron Eckhart in the photos so here he is with designer Anya Hindmarch.
This was not Amy Smart on a red carpet, so don't jump all over even though the guys might like to. She was actually filming a music video.
Have I told you how much I love Celina Carvajal? And, no it has nothing to do with the fact she is a Facebook friend and reads the blog. OK, maybe it does a little.
One of the few times I have been scared of Cindy Crawford.
Is that? I think it is. Clive Owen is wearing velvet. Who wants to touch?
Cheryl Tiegs was in the same music video as Amy Smart. Cheryl still looks great.
David Bromberg - New York
This relationship between David Katzenberg and Nicky Hilton must be over a year by now right?
I love Helena Christensen, but something seems wrong with this photo of her.
Nothing really seems wrong with this photo of Hilary Duff though. Believe me, I'm looking.
That is a lot of coffee even for Hugh Jackman.
This is priceless. Not just the look on Henry Rollins face, but that he and Verdine White posed together.
I will say it. Fergie looks good here. Josh always looks good.
Is it just me but does it seem like Jane Seymour is always wearing red?
Lindsay Price standing at attention.
I will just say it is Mary Hart and leave the rest to all of you.
The title of the movie kind of seems to fit with Michael Kors doesn't it?
This man will try any form of exercise anyone has ever thought of to get out of the house and be seen.
The too good looking to be real photo of the day goes to Olivia Palermo and Johannes Huebl.
I want all of you to try and look away from Paula's face and check out the mirror behind her. What on earth is that yellow thing she is wearing?
I don't think Rihanna is shopping for more rings. Looks like she has got them all covered.
I know, the ban, but I had to. "WTF is that $1 bill doing in there?" Thanks to Becki for the photo.
The puffy shirt finds its way on to Salma Hayek.
Salman Rushdie just so the blog seems more intelligent.
Taylor Momsen just so the blog can appeal to the lowest common denominator.
Good lord, my grandma gave Tilda Swinton her wardrobe.
Twice.

Quick Hits

Death Set To Join Depp In New Movie - Death, aka Amber Heard is going to play opposite Johnny Depp in the movie Rum Diary. This is a movie I have been looking forward to for a long time. Put Johnny Depp in a Hunter Thompson project and you know he is going to give it his all. Amber on the other hand seems to be getting these bigger roles thanks in large part to her lucky break in Pineapple Express. I say lucky because she only got the role because Olivia "I'm too good for CDAN" Thirlby got fired from the movie. Johnny is also in talks to be in a Three Stooges movie which would be priceless.

Meu hovercraft está cheio de enguias - Whoever briefed Tom Cruise on the do's and don'ts of Brazil obviously forgot to tell him what the language of Brazil is. According to the NY Post, Tom went to a press conference in Brazil and started speaking to the reporters present in Spanish and not in Portuguese. When Tom found out I'm sure someone got punished somewhere or had to donate their entire paycheck to Scientology or something.

If Only He Had A Transporter - The picture above is grainy, but yes, it is a man robbing a convenience store in Denver with a Klingon sword. When police arrested him they found the man logged on to Priceline while wearing Spock ears and doing obscene things to a picture of Lt. Ohura.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which celeb disgraced herself so much after an all day bender that her furious mates left her in the gutter to sober up?

An Open Letter To Portia de Rossi

Dear Portia,

I just saw your interview in Ladies Home Journal and it scared me. Sure, I know that you are scared that I even know what Ladies Home Journal is, let alone read it. I do though. When you live with your parents, you read things like LHJ. I also reading Redbook and Good Housekeeping too. Anyway, that is beside the point.

I read in your interview that you were thinking of giving up acting to spend more time at home with Ellen. Hey, I think that's great and I think you make a great couple. Much better than that person you used to date, and we won't even talk about Ellen and Anne. She's a bit of a nut isn't she? We will just keep it between us. Nod if she is. That's what I thought.

Part of what makes the two of you such a great couple is that you both work and love what you are doing. You both have interests outside of your relationship which is good. I know that the two of you have more money right now than just about anyone in the world and so you don't really need to work, but this whole farming thing doesn't sound like the best idea.

"I don't need to be on camera. I'm not a workaholic. I love to spend time with my wife, my family, my animals.We're looking for the right place to have a farm. Someplace like Massachusetts or Nantucket, with seasons. We could get an 1800s farmhouse with land and rescue animals. Then I'm done."

OK, great. Look. I am all for that and I will even chip in and get you some chickens or goats or whatever you want. You can make your own goat cheese or whatever you want, but you have to do me one favor before you retire from acting.

I don't think I have ever asked you for a favor. Sure, in my mind I have wanted you to do more nude scenes in your movies, but I have kept that to myself. Hey, you should feel flattered. If you weren't with Ellen, I think she would have the very same thoughts as me so don't think it is just a guy thing and try and make me feel guilty.

One favor I would really like to ask is this. Do NOT retire before you make the damn Arrested Development movie. It is bad enough that all of us have to live with Michael Cera and his petty demands and bad mouthing the show and doing everything he can to sabotage the movie, but we really don't need him. They could just have a cardboard cut out of him and move it from scene to scene. But, you, dear, dear Portia, the movie cannot be made without you. I don't want you pretending you are going to retire or being wishy washy about it. We know you don't need the money, but we, the world, need you in that movie and that movie only. Oh, and maybe a few sequels. Two or three tops. So, what do you say? You do the movie and I will being you the goat.

EL

M.I.A. To Perform On Her Due Date

So, in case you didn't know, the Grammy Awards are this weekend. Sunday to be exact. Lots of performers at the show. Some I like, some like Justin Timberlake I could take a pass. Actually I will probably just take a pass on the whole show and watch the highlights on the internet. It's sad isn't it? Back in the day before TiVo and YouTube we actually had to sit through all of the awards shows to see the good parts which were few and far between. The only time you didn't have to sit in front of the television and watch was during the Video Music Awards because MTV played them 18 times a day for the next six months. Oh, and your other option was to videotape the show and then try and watch it in quick time and hopefully you would stop it in time to hear the good parts and also that you got around to watching it before you decided to record something else over it.

Well, performing this weekend at the awards will be M.I.A. The funny thing is that her due date is also the day of the show. I'm guessing she won't be doing a lot of dancing up on the stage. I do know that she seems to realize that the life of an artist is small and you may never be invited to perform at the Grammy Awards again so she is taking advantage of it. I don't think anything will happen to her unborn child and if she gave birth right there at the show, people would remember her forever.

Carrie Ann Inaba Wants You To Know She's Single

You know what I love most in the world of celebrity? It isn't the drug use or the bad behavior like you would think. It isn't really even the "do you know who I am speech," although those are really fun. No, what I love the most is a celebrity who thinks they are all that or famous or has a sense of importance about themselves and their world and realizes at some point that no one really cares about them. There is nothing I like more than when a celebrity has to call a magazine or tabloid to report they are married, going to have a baby, or in the latest case, broke up with someone 3 months ago.

Carrie Ann Inaba who is a judge on DWTS and will earn a free dinner of her choice everytime Denise Richards scores a zero apparently broke up with her boyfriend back in November. Because no one noticed and no one cared, Carrie Ann finally just had to tell someone so she told People. I think even People was kind of unimpressed with the story. They were their usual discreet self though and didn't ask any questions about why, or if the 15 year age gap played a part, and just took her word for it that the whole thing was fine and great and that no one shed a tear. It is always amicable. They could have been throwing dishes at each other every night for six months but it is amicable. Not saying they did, I'm just making a point. I wonder if they ever had dance offs.

Oh, and I think Denise is dancing with that guy who danced with Susan Lucci last season. I hope he sucks. I have nothing against him personally and he can win every year in the future, but would like him to suck pretty good this year. Throw up some zeroes Carrie Ann and I will suck up to you as well, if not better than People the next time anything happens in your life to generate news. And I will make people care. Zeroes. Lots of them.

Miley Cyrus Tries To Apologize - Tries Being The Operative Word

Miley Cyrus, much like Holly Madison also blogs or types or has someone who does it for her. I actually think Holly Madison does her blog on her own. I don't think she can afford to hire anyone to do it for her. Oh, she wants to be able to hire someone to do it for her, but for right now she is playing it cool until she gets that ring. I don't know why I dislike Holly so much today. It is carrying over into all the posts. I do like Bridget a lot though and Kendra is harmless and trying to make a buck and actually seems sincere. Holly just seems calculating and cold and completely fake.

Anyway, back to Miley. She decided she had to write something about the photo of she and her friends making slant eyes for the camera. Miley says, "In NO way was I making fun of any ethnicity! I was simply making a goofy face. When did that become newsworthy? It seems someone is trying to make something out of nothing to me. If that would of [sic] been anyone else, it would of[sic] been overlooked! I definitely feel like the press is trying to make me out as the new 'BAD GIRL'!"

I think you want to be the new bad girl Miley. I think your dad figures that is the only way you will have a chance to make it past this year. The only time she says she is sorry for the photos is when she says that she is sorry if people took them wrong and out of context. Umm, what context? There are a group of you all making slant eyes standing behind an Asian guy who isn't. I can't believe someone just let her send this out without reading it first. I mean I guess Billy Ray probably tried but you know he has trouble with words longer than four or five letters and so instead of just saying, "I'm sorry," and moving on, now Miley will have to come back again in the next week and say she is sorry again.

Maybe she is ignorant and didn't know she was making a derogatory gesture. Maybe she thought it was a goofy face. But there is no way that all her 20 year old friends in the photos felt that way also. They knew. If you want to read more of what she says and how she thinks Britney is at the top of her game again, (I know, I know.) then click here. Warning. It is her site so be prepared for lots of cheese. Lots and lots of cheese and you may get ill.

Taylor Momsen Decided Alcohol And Percocet Don't Mix

Taylor Momsen wants to grow up a little too fast. Whether it is her partying or the way she dresses, it just seems like she is not very happy being 15 and really wants to be in her late 20's already. She, more than anyone seems to me to be the most like Dina Lohan's eldest daughter that is around today. She is the right age, has screwed up the right number of times and if she doesn't get straightened out fast is going to be in much worse shape than even Dina's daughter.

The NY Daily News did a little blurb on Taylor this morning where she said she was at a costume party and that the second youngest person there was probably around 30. She kept telling everyone at the party that she wasn't drinking because she was on Percocet because she had her wisdom teeth pulled. The article pretty much stopped there. But that is where I wanted it to keep going.

Why is a 15 year old girl having to explain to adults why she isn't drinking booze? Why is there any other answer other than the fact that I am not 21 or 20 or some age close to the drinking age where we can pretend I am old enough. Where are her parents? Did they let a 15 year old girl go to a costume party, jacked up on Percocet with a bunch of 30 year olds and their daughter making excuses as to why she can't get hammered with the adults? How does this not turn out really, really bad at some point?

I understand that when your daughter makes more in a week than you do in a year that you sometimes defer to them. I understand that you want some of that money and so are afraid to say no. But they are 15 years old and have already ended up in the hospital nearly dead once. Maybe at that point it is like, "oh, you know what? I'm her parent, maybe I should do something and act like a parent instead of a groupie begging for money and associated fame."

F**k me. And we wonder why all these kids get messed up. Go look at Emma Watson's parents for a good example. She did something wrong and got in trouble by her parents because they are her parents, not sycophants sucking up to her.

Holly Is Annoying

Holly Madison took to her blog yesterday to respond to all the sites that mentioned she had quit her Playboy job. I was trying to recall what that job was and then I remembered she had that fake job that she got for the show looking at photos and saying which one she liked. Oh, in her blog she says that it was a real job and she worked more than full-time at it. Uh huh. Whatever you say Holly. She said she didn't care about the money from the job because she got all of her money from the television show.

Well, if she got all her money from the television show, then someone needs to tell Kendra because she acts like the only money she got was her handout from Hef each month and appearance fees. You can tell by reading her entry that Holly is a very bitter person. I don't know if it was her experience there or the fact she couldn't get Hef to marry her, or whatever, but she seems really bitter.

I'm just wondering how Holly possibly had time to work more than a full-time job, do promotional appearances, go everywhere with Hef and still have time to do the show. She didn't. I love her description of her job. "I spent way more than full time directing shoots, editing, making mock layouts and approving retouching." yeah, to me that sounds like she didn't do anything. I'm sorry. I think it was a fake job and nothing is ever going to change my mind about the issue. If you want to read her blog, click here.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which starlet did more than get wet with an uber-famous athlete in a pool? On top of that, a gridiron god walked in and got a gander at the action - and the twosome's pile of cocaine.

Today's Blind Items

I guess this actress is C list now Still B+ name recognition. Wow, she has dropped a long way very quickly. She used to be B+ and headed to A before all the drug problems. Apparently they are not getting any better. Our actress who always does film was headed into a club this past week with her husband. As she was trying to get in, someone must have bumped her or pushed her, but whatever it was, it caused the meth pipe of our actress to fall to the ground and shatter. At that point, our actress began screaming and crying at the same time before grabbing her husband by the arm and dragging him back to the car. I guess clubbing is no fun without the pipe.

Quick Hits Part Three

She's Back - Shannen Doherty has signed on for one more episode of 90210. Apparently the idea is to have one last scene of Donna, Kelly and Brenda together before the show gets canceled. Oh, you don't think it will be canceled? You are probably right. I mean what else are they going to put in instead. Plus, it would be all putting all those young actors out of work because you know that none of them are going to get work for a very long time after this show goes off the air.

Talk About Shrinkage - Apparently David Beckham must have sat in a pool of ice before shooting his latest Armani underwear ads. Noticeably absent from this shoot is about 80% of the size that was found in the previous shots. I don't think people will really mind though. I mean it is David Beckham pretty much naked laying on a bed.

Moe Is Having A Baby - Hank Azaria and his girlfriend Katie Wright are expecting their first child. The couple who have been dating for two years expect the baby to arrive in about six months. Katie used to be an actress but now wants to be a family therapist. Wow. I feel sorry for that kid. He is actually going to have to talk about his problems and there probably won't be television while eating at the dinner table. Damn what is this world coming to.

Random Photos Part One

I had not really intended for Andy Garcia to be at the top of the photos, but hey, it isn't as if he doesn't deserve it.
My intention had been to put Aishwarya Rai Bachchan on the top, because, umm, well, lets face it, she is a fairly attractive woman.
A not so attractive woman and a mystery to me why she is even invited to things is Brittany Flickinger.
Just in case you wanted to see a close up shot of her. God she is a mess. But, she is Paris Hilton's BFF so what do you expect?
Do you think Ben Kingsley puts a Sir on his autographs or is that frowned upon?
Speaking of frowning, it is Charlotte Ronson and Cory Kennedy.
First time appearances for both Emily Mortimer and for Allessandro Nivola.
Note to Christina Aguilera. Take a look at how good Gwen Stefani looks with very little makeup. It's ok to go out side not made up like a clown.
Josh Duhamel taking his dog home from surgery. Let, the awwwws begin.
Jamie Foxx on the set of his new movie.
Which also stars Colm Meaney. If you have never seen The Commitments you need to do so immediately.
Yes, that is Jude Law
And unfortunately for the rest of the world this is exactly how Juliette Lewis looks. Remind me again why she and Brad Pitt were together.
Mark Ruffalo on the set of his new movie.
John Schneider looks like he hasn't aged in years. I really need to look into this whole plastic surgery thing.
Jason Wahler does his Guy Fieri hair impression.
The kid obviously wants an autograph. He probably has no idea who Lorraine Braco is and was sent down to get it by his parents. I think she is debating if she is going to charge him money for the privilege.
Come on. For a second. Just a brief instant you thought Liza Minelli looked like Eddie Izzard in drag.
Milo Ventigmilia has obviously moved on from Hayden P and is now into sci-fi love.
NKOTB - Amsterdam
Prince Charles appears to have two hands next to his face. It can mean only one thing. The ghost hand has made a comeback.
Rachel McAdams on the set of Sherlock Holmes.
Reese Witherspoon loading up on coffee and chocolate. Those are my two favorite food groups after bacon and booze.
Someone who has probably not even tasted bacon or any food in about a year probably is Selma Blair.
Two consecutive days of Steve Martin. Oh well. At least I like him.
Where do suppose Steven Van Zandt gets all of his clothes?
I'm guessing wherever Debra Winger gets hers.
Yeah, ok. Tom Cruise looks pretty damn good here.
The Fray - New York
Just our six month check in on Whitney Houston to make sure she is alive. Hard to tell from this photo, but I think she is. Yep, I am going to go ahead and make a judgment call on this. Whitney Houston is alive and loves lollipops.

Quick Hits Part Two

Straight To DVD - Do you remember how excited Audrina Patridge was earlier this year that she was going to be the star of her very own movie? She was probably envisioning red carpets and her very own premiere, awards, a huge hit and big paychecks to follow. I along with about every other person with half a brain said Into The Blue 2 would probably go straight to DVD and it is. No premiere, no fancy parties. Just a car ride over to Blockbuster to see it sitting on the shelves. Oh, it will be on the shelves. Meanwhile in other horrific acting news, the people who produced Major Movie Star and gave Jessica Simpson a job decided to change the name of the movie to Private Valentine:Blonde And Dangerous thinking that perhaps people strolling through the movie store would have a memory lapse as to the bomb it was and possibly rent or buy the movie and push up its current gross. Oh, you don't know what the current gross is. Well, let me tell you. $1,300. Yep. Good luck in that movie career Jessica.

Clay Aiken Will Judge You - Well, he is not actually going to judge you unless of course you happen to be a contestant on ANTM. If you are, then Clay has decided he is one to judge what looks good in fashion. Umm, seriously? Who the hell thought this was a good idea? Has anyone associated with the show seen how Clay dresses? Has anyone ever seen Clay in a dress? Me either, but it kind of sounded cool to write it like that. Really? I can't believe someone is not joking with this. I never watch the show so do they have some judge every week who is clueless and the rest of the judges laugh and point and don't let him play in any reindeer games because otherwise I don't see the point.

Ty Loses - That's a shocker. Ty decided to change the names of the dolls they say were not named after the President's daughters. Instead of Sweet Sasha and Marvelous Malia, the dolls will now be known as Marvelous Mariah and Sweet Sydney. Apparently the fact that the White House didn't like the names of the dolls and the fact that the federal government would have probably made the company's life miserable over the next four years probably had something to do with the decision.

Quick Hits Part One

Has Anyone Seen An Oscar? - Angelina Jolie can't seem to find the Oscar she won back in 1999 for Girl Interrupted. No, it didn't get lost in any of the million moves she has done since then and there is no reason to believe that Billy Bob is using it as a bong or anything. Actually, I guess if anyone were using it is a bong it would probably be Jennifer Aniston. I mean that would kind of be the ultimate payback wouldn't it? No one knows exactly where the missing statue is. Angelina gave her to her mother shortly after she won it. When her mom passed away last year, everyone looked for it, but no one has found it as of yet. I would look on eBay.

Business Purposes? - Nick Hogan has been given permission by a judge to resume driving. His license is suspended until 2011 but his lawyers secured him permission to begin driving for work purposes only. Umm, is he out driving around Florida looking for a job at McDonald's? What kind of business purposes? The guy has no job. With no job you can always be driving around and saying you were looking for work or help wanted signs or just thought you being kind when you decided to pick up your girlfriend and help her look for jobs to. Did the judge even ask what the business purposes are, or if Nick was getting a paycheck?

No Love For Stephenie Meyer - Stephen King has no love for Twilight author Stephenie Meyer. Oh, sure he might like her personally but has no respect for her as a writer. In this weekend's USA Today Magazine, King was asked to compare and contrast Meyer and JK Rowling who wrote the Harry Potter books. "Both Rowling and Meyer, they're speaking directly to young people... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good." Guess he won't be getting an autographed party anytime soon.

**EXCLUSIVE** Denise Richards confirmed for Dancing With the Stars!

Well, it's official. Hell must've frozen over. Seems some studio suit was stupid enough to actually give the person I love to hate the most a job on a NETWORK television show. Yes, that's right, Denise Richards is the latest "celebrity" to join the cast of Dancing With the Stars for Season 7. The show that brought Kim Kardashian (legally) into the homes of millions has further soiled itself with Denise Richards. ABC, congratulations.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which pop starlet with a longterm boyfriend has a secret penchant for the fairer sex?

She drunkenly goes home with girls but tells her poor fella she's tucked up in bed - alone?

Welcome To The Real World

Apparently Ekaterina Ivanova is realizing that being the girlfriend of Ronnie Wood is not all about shopping and trips to the south of France. No doubt she thought that if she managed to snag a guy like Ronnie Wood it would be all parties and events and fashion shows and meeting famous people she could sleep with while pretending to enjoy sleeping with her great grandfather aged lover.

Well, instead she is getting an introduction into life in the real world and an indication to the rest of us that this relationship may not last very long. OK, I don't think any of us thought it would last that long anyway. I predicted that it would last as long as it took for her either to get pregnant or to wait out Ronnie's divorce and then marry the guy. Now I'm not sure it will even make it that far.

In an interview she gave to Grazia Magazine she says,"I am always exhausted. We always have to go somewhere, or meet someone. There are Ronnie's Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, and then when you get home the phone rings, then you have to walk the dog.

"There is something really tiring about it. We don't get as much time together as I thought we would. There is always someone else there."

Umm yeah. It is called a guy who is in his 60's who has some issues and works for a living to some extent and has lived a great deal in the past 40 years. It is also what a real relationship is about. The day to day mundane things. It can't all be room service and shopping. I think she is learning that lesson really quickly. You can just tell by that quote that she is not really enjoying this as much as she probably thought she would. But wait, it gets better.

She doesn't seem to understand why everyone thinks so poorly of her for getting into the relationship with Ronnie. Now, I understand that Ronnie is equally to blame in all of this, but what she said kind of shocked me.

"I'm scared to do anything. Everyone talks about me as if I don't have feelings. I'm sick of feeling like a victim."

I don't think anyone thinks of you as a victim. I think everyone has completely different thoughts about you. The victims here are his wife and his kids who are also old enough to be your parents. I don't know why or how you got it inside your head you are a victim, but that is the wrong impression to get.

Sex News We Really Didn't Need To Know

I can promise you right from the start here that there will be no mention or photos of Verne Troyer having sex today. At least in this post. I can't promise for the whole day. I mean if something comes out or someone sends me something, I would have to post it. I wouldn't relish posting it, but it would be my duty to do so.

No, instead it is all about Mel B. Apparently the reason Mel B finds Stephen Belafonte so darn wonderful is the fact that he is the first man who can ever keep up with her in bed. She told Glamour UK that, "They (her past boyfriends)start off on a par and then they can't keep up but with him it's perfect. Actually I have never met anybody with a higher sex drive than me ever in my entire life!"

Well, I think part of the issue is that after the first night the guys wake up next to her and probably scream. The second issue is that most of the guys don't need the money and attention as much as Stephen does and so he is more likely to do whatever it is she wants when she wants it. Sometimes you just don't need to picture two people having sex. This is one of those times.

Was Diddy Carrying A Gun?

The NY Post asks a very good question this morning. They wanted to know why Sean Combs refused to allow he and his bodyguards be the only ones not searched by the NY Police Department at a party that Combs was co-hosting with Kobe Bryant.

On Monday night, Combs and Kobe were supposed to host a birthday party for DJ Clue. Since the party was going to be filled with NBA players, the venue had arranged for NYPD officers to search every person who came in the door for guns. They wanted everyone to be safe. These were not security guys, they were actual police.

Well, Diddy rolls up at almost 2am with six of his bodyguards and sees what's happening and freaks out. First he sent one of the guards back to the car to stay there and not leave, and then tried to talk his way past the search. When told everyone had to be searched, he then tried to avoid it by wondering if he could use the back entrance. Nope. So, despite the fact that he was co-hosting the party, Diddy just left.

Now, explain to me exactly why Diddy and his people could not be searched. He said he felt disrespected. What? So everyone else who came to the party could be searched, but because you are Sean Combs you are above it all? Diddy has been and always will be a jerk. He has always acted as if the law doesn't apply to him and he apparently feels the same way still. What the hell did he have on him that he was willing to disrespect his other co-host and all the guests by turning his back on a search?

Did Kobe Bryant get searched? Yes. And as much as I dislike him he just accepted it because he knew it was for his own safety. Did all the other NBA stars get searched? Yes. So, why in the hell does Diddy think he is more important than them? I am thisclose to a Diddy ban.

Did Angie Everhart Get Pregnant For Television?

You might be saying to yourself right now, "oh dear God, did Angie Everhart get pregnant by Joe Pesci?" The answer to that question appears to be no. Angie told Marc Malkin over at E! that she is 14 weeks pregnant but that she isn't telling who the daddy is. She did say that the dad was really excited; wasn't anyone we would know which means that it probably isn't Joe Pesci, and that she and the father are not a couple and really were never a couple.

OK. So far this seems just a pregnancy until you start getting into some other things that Angie has said about this pregnancy. She is already trying to sell a reality show called Angie Baby which she is selling with the help of the same company that is responsible for bringing us Tori & Dean and other reality messes. She is 14 weeks pregnant. When did she start looking for production companies to do this deal? They are not always the quickest of companies to make a decision. My guess is she must have started looking for a company about two months go which means she must have started looking almost as soon as she found out she was pregnant.

Yeah, which is why she isn't saying who the dad is, so that could be revealed on the show. Plus, they are probably not a couple because this seems to be pregnancy that was specifically designed for television. The timing and the circumstances just seem a little off to me.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which A-list action star is trying to fool fans with his new face-lift?

Today's Blind Items

At some point, someone gets far enough down the ladder where you almost don't care what the hell is going on in their life. However, this D list actress who used to be C list and has one of the best names ever is probably someone we all care enough about to at least speculate as to why her husband walked out on her right after she gave birth. Is it because of the 20 year old production assistant he is in lust with or because he found out she once hooked up with his best friend while they were married.

Random Photos Part One

The day the music died. 50th anniversary.

America Ferrera and Jay Z introducing themselves in the expensive seats.
Ed Westwick and Jessica Szhor in the my show has only been on a short time seats.
And Cheech And Chong in the BYOB (bring your own bong) section.
I admit that Anne Hathaway looks kind of nice here.
Angelina Jolie as an infant. Umm, she kind of looks like Shiloh huh?
Amy Adams looks great here. Really great. So great in fact that I will refrain from making any speculation as to why she is not wearing her engagement ring.
"One stripper at a time is all I ever use. Just one."
Not really a comment to make here, just Bradley Cooper standing on the red carpet.
Bill Paxton is much thinner than I thought he was.
Real or faking for the cameras? Knowing Drew it is probably 100% real.
Dakota Fanning who looks more grown up everyday.
Emmanuelle Chriqui still has not accepted my basement invitation. Not that I am expecting her to accept, but just thought I would keep everyone informed on the progress of my attempts.
I would have never expected to see Liv Tyler and Eva Mendes out shopping together. Ever.
Fus van Sandt and Sean Penn at the Oscar nominee luncheon.
The rumors are NOT true. Jennifer Aniston is not as skinny as a pole. Wow. I am glad we could lay that one to rest.
I don't think you need any introductions here.
I would be shocked if Jennifer Connelly weighs more than about 90 pounds.
Jenna Fischer on the other hand looks just about perfect.
Now, I know why Justin Long never gets his picture taken from this angle. He looks like Zac Efron.
Joe Torre just because, well, I didn't have any athletes in here today.
Kevin Connelly doing some kind of monster impression perhaps?
The one and only Kris Kristofferson.
Kate Winslet standing at attention.
Lady GaGa - Belfast
Another shot of Mickey Rourke with his hands down his pants.
So, Penelope Cruz decided to also put her hand in her pants. It would be more interesting if they switched things up a little.
Robert Downey Jr. matching his tie to the statue.
Scarlett J and her new hair color and look. Signing at least a couple of autographs. I must say they appear to have come from a handler though rather than her working the crowd.
Steve Martin was hilarious last night on Letterman.
The lovely Taraji P. Henson.

Quick Hits Part Two

At Least The Can Do A Divorce Show Next - CBS ordered a new series which is basically going to be four blind date marriages. Yes, real marriages. Four single people who have no luck finding a mate have their friends and family find them a wife. The couple gets married and the show follows them through their marriage. Yeah, this won't cheapen the whole marriage thing will it? Seriously? I mean I am not saying I won't watch the show but what kinds of odds do you give the marriages for success? I think it is a great idea to get people to watch television but a bad idea in every other sense of the word.

Baby News - You know when I only have to write a sentence or two about baby news it isn't that bad. It is when I try and come up with several paragraphs about celebrities having kids that I start to not care. I don't know how that celebrity baby blog does it. I would go insane. Anyway, the very lovely. Did I say she was lovely, Sarah Shahi of The L Word and Life is pregnant. According to E! this is going to cause lots of changes on Life. Yeah, it will also cause big changes in Sarah's life too I would imagine, but sure, lets focus on the show. Bobby Brown is having another kid. I thought I just did a Bobby Brown having a baby story a few months ago. Anyway, this is his 5th. I think it is probably fair to say he may have more than that. Hell, I thought he had more than that he had publicly acknowledged.

Love it!!!! - One of the Jonas Brothers is rumored to be getting laid off. According to Advertising Age magazine, Disney has decided that since the Jonas Brothers are not great singers anyway that why not save costs and reduce the number who sing down to 2 from the current 3. Since they can't sing anyway, Disney is thinking of getting rid of the non-cute one. I don't even know their names, but apparently Disney thinks Kevin is the one who should be removed from the group. Practice these words Kevin. "Do you want fries with that?"

Quick Hits

Michael Lohan Is Done Trashing His Kids - Apparently Michael Lohan has had enough abuse heaped on to him over the month he has been doing his blog. Of course since his blog deals primarily in whining and complaining about Samantha Ronson and Dina's eldest daughter it really isn't a blog about Michael Lohan. Therefore, Michael has called it quits. I think that I have read it two or three times and I have yet to see a positive comment which must suck for a guy who has a bigger ego than Mariah, but without the talent or the money. If you would like to read it, click here. I must warn you in advance that he specifically mentions by name, Dina's eldest daughter and has a picture on there too. The sad thing is he had to get it from her fan website. Guess he doesn't have any of his own. It would be funny if they sued him for copyright infringement.

Quote Of The Day - "We are like a three-headed dragon with hot molten metal spewing forth from every head. Ready yourselves. Stand fast. Saturn's second moon is on the rise. We approach you now from the northeast at the speed of lightning. There will be no respite from our wrath." Yeah, I think they just made it all up to, but it is from Beastie Boys announcing they will be playing at Bonnaroo this summer. Also announced was Bruce Springsteen who hopefully will manage to not run out of breath after his first song as well as Al Green, Snoop Dogg, Nine Inch Nails, David Byrne and Elvis Costello. Paul Oakenfold, Erykah Badu, The Mars Volta, TV On The Radio, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and MGMT are also on the bill.

Khloe Kardashian Gives Dating Advice - Khloe would like all of you to know that when you date a professional athlete that you need to stick with football players and not basketball players. Apparently she dislikes the fact that NBA players have 82 games and so she broke up with her NBA playing boyfriend and instead is on the lookout for a 16 game playing NFL player. What she failed to mention is that NBA players have 41 road games and Khloe was not invited on any of the road trips which may have caused her some concern. Oh, and she should also take a very good look at the average earnings for a football player compared to an NBA player. She may change her tune. She blogged about her breakup because she said her fans were angry she did not address the break up rumors. Ummm. She has fans?

NY Post Blind Item

WHICH son of a big real estate investor became so aggressively deranged at Dorrian's on Second Avenue, he fought with the bouncer who threw him out, and then kicked in the bar's plate-glass windows? His business partner quickly offered to pay for repairs to prevent cops from arresting him .

WHICH two Hollywood buddies should go home to their wives instead of partying together in New York clubs with bags of cocaine?

WHICH sitcom actor avoids socializing with industry professionals? Though his flamboyance is obvious, he stays in the closet with his close-knit - and tight-lipped - circle of gay friends.

Sex Offender Joe Francis Goes To Jail

You ever have one of those days which starts off with some really good news? You know, something that gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling? That is the kind of feeling I had when I saw that Joe Francis had been sent to jail without passing GO by a federal judge. I love federal judges. Sure, some of you may think they try to legislate, but the fact is they are appointed for life and they can pretty much do whatever the hell they want to do with no repercussions. So, when Joe decided that he had better things to do than show up for a hearing at the federal courthouse in LA yesterday, the judge was not pleased. When Joe finally walked into the hearing passing out GGW t-shirts and videos the judge sent him to jail.

Now, Joe wasn't actually passing out t-shirts and videos. Hell, as far as I know there weren't even camera crews outside looking for people to show their breasts for a keychain, but I do know that the judge didn't buy Joe's story that he had the flu.

The reason Joe was in court yesterday was that he is accused of claiming more than $20 million in bogus business expenses on his corporate tax returns, including $3.8 million for a home in Mexico and $10.4 million in phony consulting services. He has pleaded not guilty to two counts of federal tax evasion.

Now, I am no tax expert, but cheating the federal government out of $20M in taxes would get him a few years in jail if he is convicted. See, the way things work is that if he had cheated you or me out of $20M or even the American tax payer indirectly he would get nothing done to him. But screw the government out of money they are owed and you go to jail for a very long time. Then of course there will be opportunities inside jail for Joe to break even more laws. I only wish we could figure out a way to deport him or have him share a cell with Darnell. Could you imagine the smiles all across the world of parents everywhere if Darnell got to share a cell with Joe. Darnell of course is the guy who decided to sexually assault Joe in his home and make him do all kinds of things for a video camera. I'm also sad that Darnell didn't have the money of a Joe Francis so he could have got a better sentence.

Don't you just love when people think they are better than everyone else and then actually get called on it? Joe probably thought he was a big hot shot and nothing would happen to him. He guessed wrong.

$5M In Offers On The Table For Octuplet Mom

In addition to the $880 per month that octuplet mom Nadya Suleman is going to get from the state of California for each of her 14 children, which in case you were wondering works out to about $150K a year plus free medical care and food stamps, she has also is asking for $2M to appear on either Oprah or with Diane Sawyer for an exclusive interview. Also, the first photos of the 8 are expected to fetch about $1.5M from a weekly magazine. This is of course in addition to the other 200 offers she has received to be paid for everything from diapers to some Japanese company who wants her to promote their products. Wow. Don't you just love a society that rewards someone like this. It is kind of like Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian having a career. Different reasons for disliking it, but still rewarding someone for bad behavior seems to be the thing lately.

Ms. Suleman is still in the hospital, but while there has managed to hire a PR company, an agent and a manager and is ultimately looking for an opportunity to host her own television show about childcare because she considers herself to be an expert. Well, if she isn't an expert now, she will be as a single mom handling 14 kids all by herself. I say that she will be by herself because her mom has promised to leave after her daughter comes home and her father is going back to Iraq to help out the family. Well, I think when they start seeing some of those big checks come rolling in that her mom and dad will probably change their tune.

I have no doubts that this woman will probably rake in many millions of dollars this year for her decision to have all 8 kids. As it is right now, the kids are the longest living octuplets in US history. Even after mom is done collecting her money, you know that advertisers are going to jump at the chance to do any spots or ads they can featuring 8 kids. These kids will probably never have to worry about finding money for school or clothes or any of the other necessities of life. The first six kids will be relegated to taking care of the other 8 and may get a bit part in whatever reality show is surely coming.

Elizabeth Edwards Spills

According to the publicist of Elizabeth Edwards, Elizabeth is going to tell all in her new book. Tell all in this case being about the affair of her jerk husband John Edwards and how Elizabeth reacted to the news which apparently she discovered at the same time as the rest of the world. It is one thing to catch your husband actually in bed with another woman and to have it be a fairly close circle of people who know about it and quite another to read about it on the front page of the National Enquirer when you are waiting to see your oncologist. OK, it probably didn't happen quite like that but she did find out from the news rather than from her husband, so that sucks.

The book is a followup to her very successful first memoir. This one is much more brief and only addresses issues that have happened since the last book. Obviously a good deal of that is probably her reaction to the affair.

There is an embargo on the contents of the book which means no one is going to be seeing any excerpts from it until after it comes out on May 12th. I don't know if that is because there is so much good stuff that they want to spring it all at once or if she really doesn't spill a bunch and so there are no juicy excerpts to publish in advance.

The very interesting thing is if she decides to go on a tour to promote sales of the book. I mean this is going to be the first two questions at every interview.

Interviewer - "Mrs. Edwards how are you feeling and what is the state of your health?"
Elizabeth - stock answer

Interviewer -"Is the love child of Rielle Hunter's actually your husband's baby?"

If you haven't been keeping up with Rielle and who really has actually? I mean with Britney going on tour and everything how can we possibly keep up with Rielle? Well, she still has not revealed who the father is and the birth certificate is still blank. John Edwards still sees her twice a month which is probably fun for Elizabeth. Oh, and Rielle is staying with different friends and family members for now. She has not sold her story yet. The operative word being yet.

The thing is that Elizabeth can't probably answer the question of whether the child is her husband's. I'm sure she knows, but if she says yes, than Edwards is really going to look like more of a prick then before because he hasn't acknowledged the child is his and also hasn't been supporting the kid. Not that being a deadbeat dad is really going to make him look much worse than cheating on his cancer suffering wife while running for President.

You Decide - Is Miley Cyrus Drunk, Stoned, Or Neither?

When I saw this photo of Miley Cyrus and her "friends" I was disappointed like all of the Asian groups that have gone after her for being insensitive. While I admit it is very insensitive and wrong, I also understand that sometimes a 16 year old doesn't think about the people she may be offending or the stereotypes she may be perpetuating. The 16 year old down the street does it at his house and no one ever knows and isn't faced with apologizing to a quarter of the world's population.

My thing about the photo is that by perception or whatever, every person in the photo appears drunk or stoned or both. Sure, it could be a flash that blinded them all at the same time and made them look like they are all half asleep and saying, "dude" a lot. Yes, I know they are trying to do the squint look without actually touching their hands to their face but I doubt the one guy on the right is drinking coke out of that wine glass. The most trashed appears to be Justin Gaston who seems to be trying to channel Colin Farrel's Sonny Crockett or something Miami Vice'ish. Now, Justin is 20 so it means he is not old enough to partake of booze and Miley at 16 is certainly not old enough. And if they were doing some other substance, well that is potentially a problem as well.

Again though, going back to 16. I can forgive her for that too. I certainly was no saint at 16 and she shouldn't have to be either. We already know she has practically zero parent supervision anyway because they all rely on her to make a living. It is really hard to say no to the breadwinner of the family. I just think that it is interesting that the entire world is giving her hell for the Asian insult but no one seems to care that the entire group looks stoned or drunk off their ass. Apparently partying illegally is ok, but insulting another culture is not. I want to see the outraged parent's groups get in the act. Make this the all too rare double apology. The kind where she has to apologize to two separate and distinct groups, plus her fans of course. Have that new movie coming out.

Gwyneth Paltrow Needs To Shut It

You know the really sad thing about all of this Gwyneth Paltrow talk lately? She doesn't even have a movie she is promoting or anything. That means she just decided she wanted to get in all of our faces and tell us the world according to Gwyneth. No, not Garp. Although, I think John Lithgow dressed as a man is an improvement over Gwyneth sometimes. He wasn't Garp though was he? That movie was really good. I wonder how come the movie channels don't repeat the hell out of that movie. "I mean, I had mine surgically removed, but..."

Anyway, Gwyneth is interviewed in the new issue of Elle UK because, well she pretends she is from the UK and so they like her. Hell, I don't know why they did. They did get some great quotes from her though because one thing, she knows how to do well is say the wrong thing.

Let's take a look shall we? (Mr. Rogers hand waving you in)

'I just got out of sweatpants, out of mummy mode. I love fashion , but when you're breastfeeding and you're a stone-and-a-half overweight, it's demoralising to try to wear good clothes.'

I know that since this is a UK magazine they might have put in the stone and a half part instead of Gwyneth so I am not going to say anything about that, or even the mummy thing. I am going to give her a break to show I am kind and fair. What I am ticked off about is the fact that she says that she was 21 pounds overweight. (A stone equals 14 pounds) I don't think Gwyneth gained 21 pounds her entire pregnancy and by whatever time she went out you know she had lost most of it. In this quote she is referring to that black dress she wore to a premiere where she looked like she was walking the streets. Yeah, that one. So, I don't get her quote. What is she trying to say? That she lies about how overweight she was? That even if she weighed 21 pounds more than she does right now that she would still be in desperate need of a double-double from In-N-Out? I just always feel like she is trying to relate to the "everyday person" when she really has no clue about average anything and lives in her own world.

Except for one thing. This actually almost made me like her for the 5 seconds it took me to read the sentence. "Man, I wish smoking didn't kill you. I'd be smoking right now. I miss it." You know what? That is probably the most honest thing she has ever said in an interview at anytime.

She also says that when she is 70 she is going to start again and is counting down the days until that event. Hey, at least she has a retirement goal.

Now, the statement that confuses me the most is that she says that she and Chris Martin will NEVER walk a red carpet together because HE doesn't want them to be a public couple. Of course, this weekend they are going to walk the Grammy Red Carpet together so there goes that whole line of questions.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which rock star’s young wife hates to perform “oral duties” on her hubby? She says she endures it only so that, after the deed is done, he leaves her alone.

Today's Blind Items

This D list male singer with A list name recognition always says how much he loves his celebutante girlfriend in public. I bet he does considering how she lets him sleep with as many other women as he wants. She considers it the price for staying in the public eye as much as she can.

Random Photos Part One

Please. It is February 2. It is Groundhog Day. The greatest day ever. The day I sit in front of the tv, watch the movie of the same name, and drink a shot whenever anyone says Phil or Groundhog Day. Add it up. I have never made it through 45 minutes.
Bruce Springsteen - Tampa
You know what? Claire Danes actually looks really good here. It is amazing what a smile can do. Plus, she was smiling in most of the photos so, this was not like some guy in a cross walk got run over by a car or something. This was a genuine smile.
Have not had Clive Owen in the photos in a very long time. I know you missed him.
Actors at celebrity golf tournaments. Let's take a look at how they dress. Don Cheadle goes for the look I would expect most people to have.
Mark Wahlberg needs a haircut and better acting skills but looks good enough to golf.
Oliver Hudson is overcompensating.
Can't say anything bad about Patrick Warburton.
And Gabriel Aubry seems to be saying, "do you really think I am going to play golf for the next 4 hours when I can go right back home and have Halle Berry naked instead."
If only the Ford Pinto looked as good as Freida Pinto. OK, it still wouldn't be around because it was a piece of crap, but damn she looks good.
My favorite photo of the day. Gavin Rossdale and his son.
The Verne of the day.
If only I could substitute myself in place of Jay Roach, my life would be complete. This Susanna Hoffs crush just will not go away.
Apparently the Kardashians got the Super Bowl confused with an equestrian event, or Kim said she was going to be riding Reggie later and they got confused.
Congratulations Lisa Loeb on your marriage. It is about damn time you two got married.
When Madonna covers half her face with her hair and wears sunglasses and four layers of clothes she really doesn't look that bad.
This could be a first time appearance for Michelle Monaghan.
Michelle Williams looks a little cold.
Nicole Kidman on the set of her next box office bomb.
Now if only Naomi Watts could convince Nicole that you don't need botox to look beautiful.
Orlando Bloom on the set of his new movie.
The princess is really excited. I would too. She is attending a bacon exhibit. Oh, Francis Bacon. Never mind.
Yeah, this whole Animal House toga wearing thing didn't really work for Rachel Griffiths.
Ron Jeremy and his guest, Phoebe Dollar. Well now we know what street she grew up on and the name of her dog.
Ahhh, the loving family.
Tim McGraw at the Super Bowl.
And The Submarines winner was Jordana. E-mail me back or I will give away the tickets to someone else. You have 9 minutes and 42 seconds. I always hate when radio stations do that. But, it did make One Crazy Summer a good movie.
Not really feeling this whole Virginia Madsen look.

Quick Hits

That's A Shocker - At the Annie Awards on Friday night which are not awards for the best singing red headed orphan, but rather awards for the best animated films, Wall-E was completely shut out. It had been nominated for 8 awards but got its butt kicked by Kung Fu Panda which took home 11 awards including the best animated film. To me that is a huge shocker. I don't know how Wall-E can compete solely against animated films from this past year and not get one award out of 8. It seems inconceivable. Must be judges from MTV or something.

"I ate a piece of lettuce today." - Lawyers in an insurance case want the diary of Renee Zellweger from from the time when she was filming Cinderella Man. The insurance company wants to know how Renee spent the seven weeks filming was shut down when Russell Crowe dislocated his shoulder. I really can't imagine anything I would like to read less. "Today, I looked in the mirror. All day. I smelled some food. I got full."

Eddie Can See The Kid - Eddie Murphy and Mel B have finally reached an agreement about their one year old daughter. Eddie is required to pay a bunch of money because, hey, he denied the kid was his so he should have to pay a lot of money. Eddie does get to see his daughter when he wants, which so far has probably been never. The bright side is that Eddie as part of the agreement has promised to never sing again and all copies of Party All The Time have been destroyed.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which TV presenter has stolen his best mate's girlfriend?

The bloke in question is shameless and says he should date the stunning brunette because he is more famous...

Jennifer Hudson And The National Anthem

Every website I go to today all are talking about how Jennifer Hudson was amazing and how this National Anthem was as good as Whitney Houston's rendition and on and on. Hey, I was thrilled that Jennifer Hudson was back again and performing in public and I will be anxious to see her perform on the Grammy Awards and wish her nothing but the best. I think for her to come out in front of worldwide coverage like that after the tragedy in her family was really hard.

Now, with all of that being said, let me point out that the Anthem was lip - synced. She sang it the week before in a recording studio. The guy who runs the pre-game show for the NFL is also the music director for American Idol. Hello. Why do you think Jordin Sparks got to lip-sync it last year. Anyway, he said that Jennifer recorded it last week and that was the track that was played.

It is not Jennifer's fault and I have no doubts she could have pulled it off. The NFL requires the singer to provide a recording a week before the game just in case of some unforeseen event.

So, when people say it was the most amazing thing ever and blah, blah, blah, just remember that Whitney sang live and absolutely killed it. Jennifer was great, but it was from a recording studio.

MTV Shows

Gary Collins Needs A Lot Of Jail Time

With all the Michael Phelps stuff going on and the Super Bowl you might not have noticed that Gary Collins got arrested for suspicion of DUI again over the weekend. Gary, as you may recall once had his own talk show, co-hosted one and was the host of Miss America for awhile as well. Last year he served four days in jail after an October 2007 arrest for DUI. That was a big one because the driver of the other car was killed in the accident.

The DA never charged Gary with manslaughter in that case because the other driver made an illegal left turn. But let's not kid ourselves, the chances are that person would probably be alive if Gary Collins had not been drinking and driving that night. I'm sorry, but if someone is killed in an accident where I had been drinking, I would be miserable for the rest of my life and sure know I would never drink another drop of alcohol and sure as hell would never drink and drive.

Now, of course, Gary is innocent until proven guilty and those blood test results come back. But if he is convicted of DUI again, I think he needs to spend a very long time in jail, and I am not talking about over in Glendale where he served last time. I want him out of the county and in a real prison with guys who will remind Gary why he doesn't want to be back there again and why he should never drink again. Ever.

Alyssa Milano Thinks She Is Better Than Us

Most of the time when I wrote the better than us headlines it is someone I don't really like and so it is very easy to do. I never thought I would have to write one of these about Alyssa Milano. I mean she is practically marrying an everyday person. OK, well not really, but at least he is not an actor or producer, plus it looks like he has back hair, so that makes him normal. Lots of Super Bowl parties over the weekend. Alyssa was at several of them.

Well, Alyssa was traveling with her two assistants because, well, hell, I don't know. I have not the first clue as to why Alyssa would need to travel anywhere with any assistants, let alone two of them. Plus a future husband? To keep Alyssa he would probably do the work of six assistants and find the time to do a Nick Cannon on her feet every night. Probably not necessary with Alyssa. She doesn't look like she is a corn or foot growth type person.

Anyway, picture a very packed bar Friday night. Packed, packed packed. There were people five or six deep at the bar all the way around waiting to be served. Most of them were "everyday people." Well all of a sudden through the crowd comes the two assistants cutting their way to the front of the crowd and making their way to the bar. As they are plowing through the crowd to get to the front of the bar they keep saying they are sorry (which is good) but they work for Alyssa Milano and she really needed a drink. They then got to the front of the bar and ordered before everyone else waiting.

Well of course she needs a drink. She is probably tired of telling two assistants and a future husband what to do all day while she relaxes doing nothing. I mean it is hard work sitting around letting those residual checks come in. Forget the fact that all the people who were being shoved aside have real jobs. The kind where they work and probably their significant other works to have barely enough money to scrape by and afford a few hours out once a month when they can convince a babysitter or afford a babysitter. They couldn't afford tickets to the game but they thought they could go to the bar Friday night after work. They don't need a drink though before Alyssa. Nope. Alyssa and her needs come first. Alyssa needs to come back to reality.

Britney Spears Tour Will Be Canceled If Kevin Can't Be Bribed

That Jamie Spears guy is a pretty sneaky guy. First he reads all of Britney Spears' text messages and sees who she is calling and figures out that Britney is still calling Adnan and helping him make a living by telling him in advance where she is going to be. That way Adnan makes some money by informing the paps. Of course Jamie didn't like that because he probably didn't think of it first and so he got a restraining order against Adnan and for good measure Sam Lufti, because, well, why not. It's Sam.

Anyway, according to TMZ, Jamie it turns out also went behind the backs of Kevin's lawyers and basically bribed him with $4000 a week and a place to stay if he would let Britney take the kids on tour with her. Yeah, that's a good idea right? The way it would work is there would be a house in LA, New Orleans and New Jersey. The kids would be there and Britney would fly to them depending on where she is on tour. Kevin would get a house in each one of those places as well so he could be with the kids too, but he doesn't have to go, he just gets the house in case he wants to. Uh huh. Well, Kevin liked the idea but his lawyers didn't like Jamie going behind their backs. The reason? They didn't get paid. This is $30K in fees they would be giving up in this kind of fight.

Britney has said she will cancel the entire tour unless Kevin meets her demands. Well, I think Kevin needs to stop eating whatever it is that is making him turn into Val Kilmer and realize this is about the worst idea ever. Basically Britney wants to shuttle the kids around the country to one of these three houses in different parts of the country for the next year. One week here, one week there and she will fly to go see them. Uh huh. And when the tour goes to Europe will she shuttle them between cities there? Notice here they are being shuttled around the country not by Britney or Kevin but by presumably employees or grandparents. I just don't think it is a good idea for the kids or Britney. I only give her a 40% chance of finishing this tour and flying all over to these bases all the time is just asking for trouble. The only one who loves this deal is Kevin because it is almost $20K a month and two new houses all for just getting Britney pregnant.

You Saw Michael Phelps' Photo But Did You Read The Article?

By now, you probably have seen the photo above that The News Of The World acquired of Michael Phelps smoking some pot. is it a big deal? Probably not in the scheme of life but to his sponsors and future endeavors it is probably a crusher. The picture is not why I am posting though. I mean the damn thing has been all over the internet and television and so it really isn't news. Even the fact that his "people" made the worst bribe offer in the history of bribes is hardly newsworthy. I mean why would the newspaper want Michael Phelps writing a column for them? Have you heard the guy talk? Oh, and he will try and get his sponsors to advertise with the paper. Try being the operative word there.

No, the thing that absolutely kills me about this whole situation is that it happened last November. Last November 6th, Michael Phelps went to the University of South Carolina to see his girlfriend. His girlfriend. Jordan Matthews. Apparently they had been seeing each other fir awhile and it was fairly serious because he made the effort to go to South Carolina to see her and spend the weekend with her.

OK, that was November 6th. Not even three weeks later, Michael brought home his girlfriend to Thanksgiving dinner with his family and parents. The thing is it was that stripper and not Jordan Matthews, although perhaps Jordan is a stripper as well. No one even questions the fact that he was either two timing one of the two or fell in love with the stripper in a hurry and decided to bring her home to mama.

So, do you think that perhaps Jordan might have been a little ticked off about that situation and perhaps arranged for these photos to be sold to the highest bidder? And do you think it is possible there might be more of these somewhere of an even more indiscriminate nature that would further tarnish the golden boy image?

Top Super Bowl Commercials - It's Scientific And Everything

USA Today does this survey every year. Apparently they find some people who really don't like to watch the Super Bowl but are content to sit in some conference room in the middle of nowhere during the game for the chance to rate the commercials. So, with that being said, I'm not sure how much we want to go with their rankings. Also, if there is booze available at these things then you know that the rankings must get skewed as the game goes on. The funeral home commercial is depressing in the 1st quarter. In the 4th quarter it is the funniest f**king thing ever. USA Today suggested just linking to each commercial individually. Umm, I wanted you to see them all. The descriptions of each commercial is missing because I wanted to make sure it would fit, but at least you see the order and the brand. Their #1 was not my #1. I liked #7 best.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which heartthrob actor keeps turning up drunk to the set of his TV medical drama?