Friday, February 13, 2009

Four For Friday

#1 & #2 - This A list country singer who is not known for her pleasant, charming personality despite at one time being America's favorite gets a little mean when she drinks. OK, more than a little. In fact, she got so drunk at one birthday party that she began yelling and screaming at her guests and the guests of her then boyfriend who is a celebrity in his own right. Most of the guests decided to leave but she did keep the presents.

#3 - This female singer is always in the spotlight no matter what she chooses to try and sing. If we went by singing talent alone she would probably be a B at best but I wouldn't argue if you called her a C. Sings a few different styles of music. Anyway, she has had the same boyfriend for awhile now, but everytime she visits him she still cannot get into the elevator by herself and remember what floor he lives on or how to coordinate the key card needed for the elevator with the the pressing of the button for the floor. If she has a drink or two, forget it. It could be 15 minutes. Now, when security sees her coming they just walk her to the elevator and do it themselves.

#4 - This actress is B list. Movies all the way. Never done television. Academy Award nominated/winner. Makes a big production about being a vegetarian and animal rights but at the same time sends her assistant out for Burger King at least twice a week to bring her back a Double Whopper. I know. A double? She must puke it all back up right?

Gwyneth Is Full Of Gwyneth


Besides the joy I get from reading Kim Kardashian's blog, I would have to say that Gwyneth Paltrow's website is fast moving into the lead from the sheer amount of self righteous unbelievable crap she spews forth on an almost constant basis. What did she do this time you may be asking?

Well, Gwyneth has decided to share with the world her secret for the perfect Valentine's Day dinner. Now, you and I both know that the odds of Gwyneth eating any of this stuff she say she prepared and ate is a bunch of crap. Everything on the menu are things she says she either doesn't eat or has specifically stated she hates.

Now, in order to get your partner in the mood, Gwyneth suggest starting with oysters because of their known aphrodisiac qualities. OK, now I don't know if she has ever said yay or nay to seafood in the past, but I do know that if she were trying to get me to have sex with her, she is going to need something a whole lot stronger than oysters and I am going to need to see some cash.

For her main course, Gwyneth says that she loves Cornish hens and artichoke hearts. Uh huh. I would actually believe the artichoke part but if she is eating them she must not have prepared them herself. There is no way she spent the time in the kitchen necessary to cook artichokes. What she did was probably hire someone to do it and every few minutes she would come in and ask how come they were not finished. Cornish game hen? Right. You let me know when Gwyneth sits down and eats some chicken

But the very best part. What does Gwyneth suggest for dessert? And remember she says that she prepared and ate everything on the menu. She suggests molten chocolate cakes. Umm. Gwyneth. You are on record as saying you hate chocolate so forgive me if this doesn't sound as bad as you getting to come back for Iron Man 2.

Random Photos Part One

Well, this was an accident. Oh, I love Amanda Bynes but this outfit is just atrocious. I'm not sure your belt should ever reach all the way to the ground like that either.
This was supposed to be the top spot. This is Ror's dog who obviously enjoyed the Westminster Kennel Club telecast.
The very lovely Brittany Snow.
The even more lovely Cicely Tyson.
Can I go for three lovely's in a row? Daisy Fuentes looks lovely as well.
Dakota Fanning is turning into a 20 year old right before our eyes. Later when you see Taylor Momsen's photo, why don't you compare and contrast.
Everyone looks great. I must be excited for the three day weekend possibilities that can only come when I know I have booze, bacon and cupcakes waiting for me at home. This is Eliza Dushku.
Even Hilary Duff looks great.
Jane Kaczmarek and Tim Gunn.
Joel Madden, Nicole Richie and apparently their trash.
Wow. Hold off on the Jessica Simpson curvy jokes. Let's talk about the latest attempt at the Val Kilmer look a like contest. Kevin Federline shows what can happen to you when you can spend your whole day eating and not having to work.
Matt Damon and Kerry Washington
Long time no see, Kristy Yamaguchi.
Lily Allen shows us her third nipple.
Kelly Clarkson does not.
I love Lynda Carter, but not so much here.
"OK, this might sting just a bit."
The gorgeous Mary J. Blige.
It is like Ed Grimley decided to go blonde.
I wouldn't have figured Mickey Rourke as a dog dresser.
Is that cord Nick Lachey or are you just happy to see me?
I'm guessing you are going to tell me this dress is supposed to look like it needs four hours of ironing on purpose.
Ryan Seacrest and Paul Abdul showing their love to Simon.
15 huh?
Wow, I must be in a good mood. Tori Spelling looks pretty.
I can't believe it, but this was the first ever UK roller coaster wedding.
Valerie Bertinelli and Katie Couric.
VV Brown - London

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which disturbed loser is more of a cad than we thought? He’s spilling the beans about his former flame’s kinky sex habits to anyone who’ll listen.

Your Turn

I know I usually have Your Turn a little later in the day, but I wanted everyone to have the chance to really participate today and share some great stories. So, with that in mind and with Valentine's Day coming up tomorrow, I thought that what would be best today is: The most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you, or that you have done for someone. I want details people. I know everyone else wants details. It doesn't have to have occurred on Valentine's Day. Whatever it was, we all want to hear about it. All of mine involve some kind of food or booze or combination thereof. Tends to get messy later.

Crazier Than Octuplet Mom



If you thought the octuplet mom story was something you haven't seen a damn thing yet. I saw this story last night but forgot about it in my nightly drunken haze. Luckily Ror, who seems to control his liquor better e-mailed it to me and reminded me about it. So, thanks to Ror for that. What you see in the photo above is not a brother and sister admiring their younger sister. Noooooo. Why on earth would I show that? Well, I would I guess if it was important, but, I'm losing focus. No, this is way crazier than that.

Those two people holding the baby are the parents of that little girl. Yes!! I know. The boy is 13 and he looks, what, about 7? His girlfriend and the mother of his child is 15. This is absolutely nuts to me. And lest you think this couple is from some third world country or something, they aren't. They live in the UK. They had sex when the boy Alfie was just 12. It was just a one night thing and when they found out Chantelle was pregnant they decided to have the baby. Alfie of course was worried his parents would be a bit upset. Apparently they are taking it quite well. Alfie of course has no f**king idea how much babies cost or the price of a diaper or formula or anything else. He did say that his dad sometimes gives him as much as $15 a week and he hopes that will be enough to take care of the baby.

For now, the baby and Chantelle live at Chantelle's house. She has five brothers and her only parent is her dad who currently doesn't have a job. Alfie is allowed to spend the night at the house and even has his school uniform there so he can go straight to school in the mornings. Umm, my math sucks but is there any chance that dad and daughter could ever end up in school at the same time. If he went to a private school with K-12 and he is in 7th grade say. Then when he is a senior than potentially he could go to the same school as his daughter. Wow. That just blows my mind.

To read the entire article and for more photos and video, the Sun has an exclusive.

Tori Worries That Dean Will Cheat


Sometimes you read something and you just say to yourself, "wow, so and so really is an idiot." In this particular case it is Tori Spelling who will take the idiot honor for today. In a little blurb the NY Daily News ran today, Tori confessed that her greatest fear is that Dean will find someone on a set he works on and cheat on her because that's how they met. Dean in fact, tells everyone that Tori thinks that just to show how manly and virile he is and to see if they do want to sleep with him.

Tori. Seriously. You really think Dean would cheat on you? The only reason he cheated on his wife and got you to cheat on your husband was that he saw a meal ticket. Now, I won't say that he would never cheat on you but it is going to be someone that is a much better meal ticket and more famous than you. Plus, in order for him to be able to cheat on you while working he would actually be having to work. As in get a job. As in don't follow you around everywhere you go and have a company that signs him a check and not one that you wrote him. Now, I grant you that he is in pre-production on Santa Baby 2 which should pay him a fortune as an actor and I guess he could live off what they pay him for that. I mean that must be a check in the millions right? I'm guessing they are paying him in the hopes that Tori will make a cameo in the movie and maybe they can get more than one person to watch it.

If Dean ever cheats on you Tori it would be about the dumbest move he could make. Not that you are that hot or anything, but please, he is not going to throw away that meal ticket for anything. If you dumped him he would probably turn into the Michael Lohan of the next generation.

Ashlee Simpson Has Scheduling Issues?


I don't know if you saw the reports yesterday that Manhattan Junglebook may have broken his arm. If you didn't, the way the story goes is that according to E!, Ashlee Simpson missed an appearance at a Las Vegas party and that immediately led to the conclusion that the baby had broken his arm. I know, I know. Apparently, someone thought they saw Ashlee at the hospital with the baby as well and so one thing led to another. It's crazy huh? Well, according to Simpson's rep (read Joe), everything is fine and everyone is healthy and Ashlee missed the appearance simply because of scheduling issues.

Ummm. Wait. You had me believing everything until the whole scheduling issue thing. When is the last time you saw Ashlee Simpson do anything anywhere? It isn't exactly like she is all over the airwaves or doing press or singing or performing or doing anything at all. So, I find it really hard to believe that all of a sudden her schedule was so jam packed that she couldn't find the time to pick up some fast cash in Vegas. Now, of course her husband does make a decent living and perhaps she felt that she didn't want to go host a party in Vegas because that would invariably mean Dad would be tagging along and hounding her to get phone numbers of women he could help with their career. So, instead she and her dad probably had a fight and she says she wasn't going and the next thing you know Manhattan has a broken arm and Ashlee has scheduling issues. See how that works. I do hope the baby is ok.

Ted C Blind Item

Schlong Sleaze-Wad has been in the news on and off, and as with most of the tabloid targets—it ain't good. Schlong's a somewhat happily taken hetero (too hetero) dude who just can't keep it in his trousers. Lotsa folks in Tinseltown know it, including Schlong's wife.

And even though notorious Schlongy appears to be residing back on Domesticity Lane, something he's been trying so-so hard to get everybody to believe, we ain't buying it. See, aside from luring at costars or any female with ta-tas on the set, we know S2's past (and present). He likes 'em young. Almost the kind of young that'll legally get ya in trouble, which surely very nearly happened when...

Mr. Sleaze-Wad struck yet again.

Clearly, Schlongy thinks that just because he's famous, endowed and not butt ugly, this means every woman within spitting distance of his constantly semierect package should break down, bow and submit to his every nasty desire.

Like when he just tricked a barely legal babe who works in entertainment, offering to go out to lunch with him so he could further "mentor" her career. Before she knew it, they were sneaking around on the job, making out in every dark corner they could find. But once the quasi-brain-dead babe came to her senses, she realized the man in her arms was (a) married, (b) probably diseased in some sort or another and (c) not at all interested in discussing Rob Pattinson's next career move or Britney's way better extensions.

So she ended the somewhat heated fling, which had, thus far, only included heavy French smooching, serious groping and no mentoring whatsoever, quelle surprise.

Gosh, Professor Prick, how could you let one of your students down so?

And it ain't: Kevin Dillon, Peter Facinelli, Chris Brown

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Today's Blind Items

This really could be something that is not a blind item, but the person who gave it to me really wants it as a blind rather than with a big screaming EXCLUSIVE all over it. I don't have the why yet, but it is supposed to be very interesting. You have a B- list television actress from one of the best television ensemble comedies of all time and she is getting divorced from her well connected industry husband who has had a sporadic career despite his connections. Even though they have a very, very, very young child the marriage has no chance of making it.

Random Photos Part One

On top today is the Victoria Bushfire Appeal. Because I am not a news site, I have not really talked about the terrible devastation and loss of life that has occurred in Australia over the past two weeks. When I speak to my friends over there they are all just in shock. One friend there who actually lives in Melbourne described it as what she imagined the Apocalypse would be like. Gale force winds 120 degree heat and fire and people didn't stand a chance. The fact that most of the fires were deliberately set is just unspeakable. To all my friends and readers in Australia, I do hope you know that all of us are thinking of you and all stand to help if you need anything.
The Royal Opera House has announced plans to stage an opera of the life of Anna Nicole Smith. They claim it will be classy. I just want to know who is going to play Anna's cousin.
Ayelet Zurer and Tom Hanks doing press for Angels And Demons in Switzerland.
Speaking of demons. The clothes demons have been playing with Gwyneth Paltrow again.
Hilary Duff was also at the same event but seemed to have escaped whatever possessed Gwyneth.
Java is the new leopard cub at Mirage in Las Vegas.
The funny thing is the wax statutes are actually better singers than the real Jonas Brothers.
Joan Osbourne - New York City
This was after Joaquin's Letterman appearance.
The look of someone who didn't get a single nomination for the ACM's even though Jessica was there to help announce them. Do you think she expected a nomination?
Justin Timberlake sure does look happy. He must have just told a fan to f**k off.
In the staged candid photo of the day, we find Kristin Kreuk all dressed up right in the streets of Tokyo.
Umm. Yeah. Eva. You got a little something right there. Nope, on the tooth. No, other side. It's big and brown, or is that black?
Kellie Pickler, Julianne Hough and Leann Rimes at the same nomination ceremony Jessica was at. Notice how happy this group looks.
Kyra Sedgewick looks really nice here.
Kate Winslet just doesn't take a bad picture.
Lily Allen has taken to her blog in an attempt to get you to buy her album. She is actually begging people to buy it because she wants to be #1. You have to admire her for at least saying what is on her mind and that she wants to be the best.
Their role model.
Must have been one hell of a premiere party.
Robin Thicke - New York
Renee being very nice to her fans. I decided to be nice to Renee today because Kenny Chesney really annoyed me yesterday.
So when exactly can Shia LaBeouf take off that cast?
Tinsley Mortimer has aged about 20 years in the past year. Wow she got old fast.
Speaking of old. I am going to jump on the bandwagon that says Taylor Momsen has got to be older than 15. Way older. If she is 15, she is going to look like Courtney Love at 20.
"Of course we are going to build Nadya a house." You know they are thinking about it.
Tara tries to resurrect her career. She ticked off People and so had to go over to In Touch.
One of the best actors ever. Willem Dafoe. Does not get enough credit for his acting.