Rihanna Does The Naked Cell Phone Picture Thing

I generally ignore the naked cell phone picture type things unless it is someone big. I ignored all the Cassie pictures this week because, except for dating Diddy she hasn't done diddly. Cute huh? Plus, I'm pretty sure it was all for publicity anyway. But, Rihanna naked is an entirely different kind of story and I am wondering who decided to leak all of these. This should be a very interesting story. Click here to see the NSFW ones. The picture below is from the same session. It is allegedly Chris Brown. Notice the mirror in the background and then compare it to the mirror in the NSFW photos and you will see it is the same.

Full Frontal Friday

Nothing says Mother's Day like an edition of Full Frontal Friday. I want to thank the readers who keep finding and sending photos. I know you are doing all that looking for the sake of the site and don't get any personal enjoyment out of it. So, I thank you for making the effort. I hope you enjoy this week's edition.

Four For Friday - Mother's Day Edition

I posted this blind item last Memorial Day weekend, but it happened during a Mother's Day weekend and when I think of Mother's Day, it is one of my first memories. Sorry mom. Anyway, it is one of my favorite stories and I don't usually repost old blind items, but I thought I would make an exception this time. Plus, there may be new readers since last year who haven't read it. I didn't change anything so the Memorial Day references may seem odd. You can click on the title if you want to see the old guesses.

A Mother's Day To Remember

Obviously this would have been more relevant if I had posted it a few weeks ago, but hey, if you have learned anything over the past two years of reading this blog, it is that I'm a bit lazy, or busy or both. Can you be lazy and busy? Is it because you are lazy that you are busy? Anyway, at least it's still May so this is still kind of relevant. Plus, it's all you are getting today unless Mischa Barton decides to show herself. If you think only actresses skip out on Cannes and their obligations, then you obviously didn't read about my adventure tracking down a certain director who should have known better as well. If you haven't read it, shame on you, but just click the label, long blind item at the bottom of this, and you shouldn't have to scroll too far down. Give you something to do anyway if you are at work. Sorry if you are. I probably should be as well, but sometimes you just have to say f**k it. If you did read about the director, then you will enjoy this because it also takes place in Europe. People always e-mail and ask how come I don't write more of the longer items, and the answer is simple. I used to all the time. But, inevitably the longer items involve me, and honestly, too many people read the blog now, and it isn't like I haven't told the stories to other people before, so I try and keep them to a minimum. I know you like them, but there are other people to consider as well, and you have to remember, when I tell them at a party I usually name names. No, not in the big ones. The MV's of the world and some of the other deeply intimate ones, are locked up in the mind. The one you are about to read isn't known to very many people because, honestly, the four of us did some things that we are not necessarily proud of, and as a consequence we were not exactly running back home and sharing it to the rest of the world. That being said, enough time has gone by, that if you ask one of the others, or myself, we are not exactly hiding anything. I mean it is being written now isn't it?

Happened about ten years ago. Throw in a year or so on either side just to make you work, but it isn't the most difficult one in the world to figure out. Four people. #1 is me. Hell, it's my blog, I'll be #1 thank you very much. #2 is a singer and so from now on will refer to him as SR just to keep things easier. Great guy. One hit wonder, but it was a hell of a hit, and he has no problems with being a one hit wonder. If you do figure out him, and see who he worked with when he first started, it does open up a bunch of other clues about another person who has contributed to the blog. This singer was riding the high from this #1 song when this little adventure took place. I absolutely, positively guarantee you that each and every person who is reading this blog has heard this song, and hummed along or sung to it. #3 is an actor. Honestly, doesn't do much now. At the time though had a very nice run going on a very hit show. Although he wasn't with her at the time, he was the guy who introduced me to AP, so you have that whole thing going. He had a very recognizable face and still does if you watch reruns. We will call #3 AR for actor. Finally we have #4. #4 is someone none of you know or will know and is only in the story because he was there, and since he was there, it kind of makes sense for him to be mentioned, although he will not be heard from much, and you will soon discover why. We will call him NN for no name. Cute huh?

I had met SR when he was just starting out because he was friends with and working for one of my best friends at the time. Damn that is vague, but it is what it is. He and I had hung out and liked each other, but lived in different cities. If we happened to be in the same city at the same time we hung out and we kept in touch when not. AR and I had just kind of met by chance at some function or other and at the time he was seeing AP, so I might have wanted to meet her more than him, but it turns out that I ended up with two friends which is really nice. After that initial meeting though, we rarely talked or saw each other. Once or twice a year we would run into each other and do the whole we should hang out more often thing, and of course never did.

So fast forward a few years from when I first met AR, and into the present. The present at the time this happened, and not the present as in now, because, well that would be odd. Turns out AR and SR are working together on something and my name comes up. They are drunk and of course invite me, because, hey, I'm a lush and they know I'll bring booze. So, I go over to AR's house where they are drunk out of their minds, and the next thing you know SR is saying he has a five day window free, and AR just finished shooting his show for the year, and everyone knows I won't be missed where I was working at the time. Too true. The fourth came about because we wanted to go eat some chicken and waffles at 3am and so I called the one guy who had less of a life than me and NN came and picked us all up and he somehow got drafted to be the fourth.

SR had to be in London a week from then, and so we decided to hit Europe. For some reason we decided to go to Amsterdam, but it wasn't for the reasons you think. It was actually because the flights to Paris the next day were completely booked. That had been our first choice. Well, turns out all the flights to Amsterdam were booked as well, but we did find four seats to Brussels. One note. This was prior to the extensive use of internet booking. There may have well been seats available, but the yellow pages, 3am, and being drunk does not lead to much checking beyond one or two calls per city.

So, let's catch you up. As far as I go, I had awakened at probably 8am, worked all day, went home, was about to go to sleep when AR and SR called. Got drunk beyond belief with them, and got maybe two hours of sleep before we got on a plane to from Los Angeles to New York. There may have been a brief nap in between the Bloody's, but it wasn't long. Then got on a flight from New York to Brussels and this is where the real fun starts.

While all the other flights may have been booked, this flight was empty. As in ten people in Business Class and another ten in the back. More crew than passengers. Well, AR seeing the situation on one of the trips to the bathroom says this just won't do. Because the flight attendants were all in love with him, he convinced them to let all the passengers fly up in Business, and then proceeded to drink. We all drank. And drank, and drank. By the time the flight landed, all of the beverage carts were empty. Dry. Nothing. There was one family and the rest were men as I remember. Drinking, cards and swearing, oh and lots of smoking. This airline hadn't switched yet and it was like a thick fog of smoke. Amount of sleep? 0

Landed in Brussels and the first thing that is noticed is that at some point SR has managed to throw up all over himself. Wiped it off to some extent, but looking rough and he was being really surly. Going through customs and everyone is just holding up their passports and getting waved through. Then comes SR. Apparently he had taken offense to a kid from the family stepping on his foot and so was swearing loudly. So much for a smooth ride through customs. "Yes, we are with him. Sure, we'll be glad to wait." Somehow we were on our way really quickly. I just remember that what I thought was probably going to be an hour ended up being like five minutes.

Next. To the car rental counter where we waited and waited and waited. SR had brought a flask and was sipping liberally, and swapping it back and forth with NN. AR decides he is the only one who can drive. I got shotgun which would prove to be very fortunate.

At some point during the flight the four of us had agreed that since we were in Europe, and there to have fun, it hardly made any sense to just make the short drive from Brussels to Amsterdam without seeing a bit of the rest of Europe first. So, we decided to see five countries in one day. Belgium-France-Luxembourg-Germany-The Netherlands, and of course to drink in each country.

So we drank. Belgium was easy, because we had already been drinking so we figured we were good on that front. Got to France and found a place to drink and AR kept himself to one glass of wine while the rest of us each had about a bottle, and took two each for the road. Looking back at it now, perhaps bottles were not the best choice. At some point immediately after crossing the border into Luxembourg, NN and SR who were sitting in the back got into some type of disagreement about space, and who was actually responsible for the four cigarette burns in the rear upholstery of the car. Apparently SR said something to offend NN, which caused NN to take an empty wine bottle and strike SR firmly with it across the forehead. Ahh, nothing like blood streaming from a forehead wound to bring the trip to a rest area. In this case a bar parking lot, because we still had to drink. The bartender had some gauze or tape and there was plenty of liquor with which to clean the wound. So, tape applied and filled with liquor we continued. To Germany and beer. Lots of beer. But first a pit stop on the side of the road. Oh, I forgot to say that part of the deal was to avail ourselves of the outdoors for at least one bathroom break per country. Due to the amount of liquids we were consuming, this in fact took on several stops per country. During a break in Germany doing out business, a motorcyclist came down the highway at about 150 mph. We all remarked at how fast he was going. A short time later as we were going at a much reduced rate down the highway, several police cars and an ambulance made their way past us. Where were they going? Well from the wreckage on the side of the road it appears that perhaps the motorcyclist should have slowed down. Honestly don't know what happened to him, but it didn't look good. On that note we headed to a cafe and got some beers for there and for the road and made our way to Amsterdam.

It was fairly late when we got into Amsterdam, but not quite dark because it was May. Good thing too, because Amsterdam isn't the easiest place to navigate. Imagine an inebriated person with barely any sleep in 48 hours looking at a map and telling the driver to turn left at arnghivstaal street and you can see the dilemma. To this day I don't know he we managed to find our hotel.

Check in, go to our rooms and 30 minutes later we are on our way out. First stop, and it turns out the only stop of the night was a club which featured topless female bartenders and an array of other women whose only goal was to have the customers buy really expensive drinks. It's funny, but AR couldn't go anywhere in LA or for that matter anywhere in the US without being recognized, but, except for the flight over had not been recognized once. He was loving the experience. So when we walked in to the bar and noticed an episode of his show from the first season playing on the television we almost bolted. Funny thing was though even though the entire episode was about him, and he was sitting there in the bar, not a soul recognized him. There was jukebox in the place and we had wanted to create a surreal experience by playing a SR song while AR was on the screen, but SR's song wasn't in the jukebox. Neither myself, SR or AR were really interested in the women. Not so much NN who struck up a conversation with one of the women, left about an hour later with her and didn't show up again until we were about to leave Amsterdam. He's still married to the woman. Yes, awww, and all that. What AR and Sr decided would be fun would be to pay for the drinks of two kids from the UK who were pretending to be about 25 and were more than likely about 17. They were mesmerized by the women, but had run out of funds until SR and AR came along. Wanting the kids to feel like hotshots, SR and AR kept giving the kids money in which to buy drinks and soon had six or seven women all over them. They loved it and SR and AR got a kick out of it. For the most part though this was a party that just wasn't going to get started because the three of us had nothing left to give. At about 4am we walked back to the hotel and called it a night, but not before finding an unlocked bar and no workers. Ahhh free booze. It was like we owned the bar. Trusting lot there at the hotel.

Woke up around 2pm and decided that what was in order was a swim in the North Sea. Sounded really good at the time. Two cases of beer and a few hours later we found ourselves jumping in naked into the North Sea. Funny thing about that sea. It was May and the outside temperature was warm. The water? Not so much. It was about a week before I saw my balls because they had disappeared inside my body not to be seen for sometime.

Another case of beer on the way home and it was time to go out. First stop was a coffeehouse, but honestly we didn't buy any pot. It just didn't seem fun right that second. Next stop, was a biker bar. Didn't know it was a biker bar. Didn't know that the bartender was an American and that he would spend the next hour telling us in great detail why the US was so f**ked up, but he did. We were the only people in the bar and figured his people skills might have had something to do with it. We did stay an hour because we honestly couldn't believe what we were hearing.

We decided to forgo the live sex shows, and instead went to another club which was also completely empty. This was a Saturday night at around 11 or 12 and we literally were the only people in there. Didn't matter though. The bartender who was female and Portuguese was married to the owner who was Dutch. In some half assed Spanish and French we taught them how to make a margarita and a kamikaze and were having a great time and getting very drunk. People started streaming in around 1am or so, and pretty soon I felt a hand on my back and then on my neck, and was thinking to myself, "ok!" Turned around and it was a guy. The whole place was filled with guys. Yep. It was a gay bar. Well this particular gay bar was about to have a Karaoke contest and we decided after seeing SR's song on the play list to enter him right into the contest. First prize was like 1,000 Guilders (yes, before the Euro), and we figured SR would be a shoo in. The guy can sing. No backing tracks or anything like that for him. Ummm. He came in 3rd. To be fair, the guy who won was pretty good, but the guy who came in second did so only because he decided to drop trou and seems that was a real crowd pleaser. No one recognized SR although everyone did sing along which he enjoyed.

Next stop was some college type bar where everyone was singing soccer songs and Abba songs. Honestly, I don't think they played anything else. It was packed and hot, and sweaty and AR got recognized by some American tourists who started screaming. This was not part of the plan, and was not what AR wanted since he and SR were in deep discussions with a dealer who said that he could score some coke. Unfortunately AR just couldn't say, "glad you love the show. You know, could you come back in a little while. My buddy and I are trying to get some coke, and you are kind of ruining it for us."

So, outside we went. As we were walking and discussing a deal, we all found ourselves in the red light district. Funny how that happens huh? Well, the friendly drug dealer told us to enjoy ourselves while he went off to get it and would be back before we finished. Well, all I can say is I he would still be waiting today for me because it just wasn't going to happen for Mr. Shy. Nope, 3 days of drinking and a dunking in the North Sea and the thought of wife #3 in the back of my mind kind of ruined it for me. SR and AR apparently had no such issues. Well, they are used to performing, and I'm not. My excuse anyway. Well the dealer showed up, and he did so with a few of his friends. Apparently he decided that since we had so much cash, perhaps we would be willing to give some to he and his friends. Ummm. Run? Well this wasn't the movies, and running wasn't in the cards so we passed along what money we had. Got to avoid a good ass kicking though. See, there's always a positive.

Stumbled back to the hotel, slept for a few hours, and then it was the drive. You know the one I mean. The one where the fun is done and at least for me all you have to look forward to is that damn desk and at the time, a job which was no fun at all. AR didn't have anything to complain about. He was going on vacation and then to film a movie. NN? Well he got himself a wife, and was sticking around for a few days to meet her family. So it was pretty good for him. SR? Well he flew to London for a show and some stitches and AR decided to go with him. Me? I flew back all by myself and probably moved four inches on each of the flights. Really the first and only time I have ever been able to sleep on a plane. Stopped in Chicago on the way home and called my mom from a pay phone to wish her a Happy Mother's Day. Decided to keep the whole hooker, coke, gay bar, four day bender out of the conversation though. Went home and kissed the wife. Decided not to mention the whole coke or hooker thing. Told her about the gay bar and she could smell the 4 day bender. Went to sleep, and the next morning was right back at that awful desk.

Random Photos Part One

Mickey Carroll was the town crier in the Wizard Of Oz and was one of the last surviving Munchkins. - RIP
I know lots of you love Adrien Brody, but unless he has those things in his hair for a role or some medical necessity they look ridiculous.
Arsenio Hall and Eddie Murphy reuniting for a charity.
Yes, I love Ali Larter, but it really does look like she is wearing a rose bush.
Baz Luhrman looks happy. Hopefully it is because Nicole Kidman won't be in his next movie.
I'm no expert, but Carmen Electra doesn't look pregnant.
Chelsea Girls - Los Angeles
In case you were wondering, Cheyenne Jackson is calling himself a pimp.
Eric Dane does his recreation of the famous Daniel Craig scene, but with a shirt, longer bathing suite and a life jacket.
I watched Seems Like Old Times the other day. Goldie was really, really good back in the day.
Hugh Jackman at a pool in Brazil.
Keri Russell helping Jessica Alba with the big words.
Kendra Wilkinson never stops hustling for bucks. This isn't an ad for Fig Newtons, but she isn't going to miss the opportunity to try and get Nabisco to give her a call.
New Kids On The Block has taken lip synching to a whole new level. I would have also accepted New Kids on The Block is the official band of Anonymous.
Norman Reedus and "guest." I'm guessing it must be tough for him to walk around like that.
"What do you say after this is over, I'll show you my royal throne?"
Rihanna in her never ending quest to bring back the 80's one lady bug outfit at a time.
Even Vanessa Carlton is getting into the 80's thing.
And two people who peaked in the 80's, Kenny Loggins and Sugar Ray Leonard.
I just know deep in my heart that Danny Devito has a matching shirt to the one Rhea Perlman is wearing.
Rachel Weisz looks really good here.
Shannen Doherty in her Chanel biker look.
Who knew Tom Hanks was a tight jeans guy?
Mr and Mrs Spelling coming out from Mr. Chow. It is kind of fitting since Tori looks like a chopstick. I also think the orange woman in the background is Rudolph Valentino's sister. Their tans match.

Your Turn

It is Mother's Day weekend and so this would be the perfect opportunity to talk about your mom. Being married as many times as I have has introduced me to lots and lots of mothers, and each has given me lots of stories to share. That is what I want from all of you today. It can be something great your mom did, or it can be how your mom has embarrassed you in the past or the present. Whatever story you want to tell about your mom, or if you just want to say hi to her, you can certainly do that as well. For all of you that are mothers, I think the world of you for what you do everyday. I wish that all of you got paid $1M a month because what you do 24/7 is infinitely more valuable to society than any movie or red carpet or product endorsement. Thanks.

Mel Gibson's Girlfriend Is Pregnant

I really thought Mel Gibson took this whole Catholic thing seriously. You know. No divorce, no pre-marital sex and certainly no out of wedlock children. Well according to the National Enquirer, Mel Gibson's girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva is three months pregnant. They also said that when Mel told his kids the news, they all wanted to make sure they were not going to lose any of their trust fund money. Nice. I like that. They don't care if Oksana is pregnant they just don't want any new kids sharing their money. Do you get the sense from that attitude that perhaps they are all on the side of their mother?

Mel reportedly told his kids that the pregnancy was unplanned. He did not claim it was an immaculate conception. The story came from someone close to the family. Uh huh. The picture above was taken at the Wolverine premiere about ten days ago. You be the judge whether she is pregnant or not and also if she wears more makeup per square inch than Christina Aguilera.

Reason #426 To Not Have Bathroom Sex

Who among us hasn't found someone attractive at work? I mean you probably spend more waking time with the people at work than with your significant other, so it stands to reason that you probably would not be opposed to having sex with a certain someone if the time were right.

Now, imagine if you worked at a clothing store somewhere. The store has closed and you are all alone with that special work someone. You have the entire store to yourself for your sexual tryst, but you say to yourselves, you know what. Lets have sex in the bathroom. Sure, strangers have been using it all day and there is all this room in the rest of the store or under the clothes, but what I really want to do is to lock ourselves in a stall and have at it.

Well, Salvatore Mazzi, 37, and Angelina Marcelo, 26, did just that. Both of the people involved in our little story are married, but of course not to each other. Salvatore is a security guard and Angelina is a cashier. Ahhh. True lust. At some point during the bathroom loving, Angelina got a cramp in some portion of her body. The article doesn't say what part, but she cramped to the extent that the pair became locked into position in the bathroom and could not escape or get untangled.

Apparently before beginning their liaison, they forgot to lock the front door to the store, and the person that discovered the couple was Angelina's husband. Nice. Well, despite his best efforts, he too was unable to get the couple unlocked and was forced to call the fire department who at long last managed to free the lovers. Salvatore lost his job because he was on the clock. He also lost his wife because he was married. Angelina kept her job because she was off the clock. The article doesn't say if she kept her husband.

Spock Reads The Top Ten On Letterman

Leonard Nimoy is great anyway you can get him. When you can have him read the Top Ten lines never said in a Star Trek film it is pretty much priceless. Hell, it is Friday. I think you can find 4 minutes of your day to watch this.

Natalie Portman & Sean Penn Rumors Will Not Die

A few weeks ago I posted about how Sean Penn and Natalie Portman may have hooked up at the Sunset Tower hotel and Star Magazine is reporting that the two of them are still together. In their latest issue, Star says Natalie is the reason Sean filed for divorce from Robin Wright Penn. I'm not sure what Natalie would see in Sean except a guy who is an a-hole of the highest caliber and will cheat on her as sure as the sun rises everyday. Of course he will see the sun rising with some Russian hookers lying next to him in bed.

I choose not to believe this story. It isn't that I am one of the seemingly endless number of guys who have some hidden Star Wars fantasy they want to play out with Natalie, but just because no guy she has ever been claimed to be dating is anything like Sean Penn. I also would hope that she has a little more self respect than to be seen with a douche like Sean Penn. She isn't a publicity hound and doesn't seem like the kind of person who would want to be treated like crap on a regular basis which is what she would get if she was in a relationship with him.

Ali Lohan's Education Is Adequite

Over the past week, both the NY Daily News and People Magazine have obviously jumped on the CDAN bandwagon and asked the question, when in the f**k does Ali Lohan go to school? Last week Dina told the NY Daily News that Ali is home schooled and wouldn't say anymore. This week she added a little bit to that. She says, "Ali is in a home-schooling program. She has never been pulled out of school. It's the same home-schooling program that Lindsay was in since the tenth grade. It's a wonderful program that many celebrities are enrolled in."

OK, first of all. Dina has previously stated she had to pull Ali out of school so there is a lie. Not that I expect anything less from Dina. Second of all, Lindsay is probably one of the dumbest people I have ever seen so I am not sure that I would be using her as the poster child for this kind of education. And finally, I HATE more than anything in the world when someone says a line like her last one about the fact it is a program in which celebrities are enrolled. What? So because it is filled with celebrities it is a great education? Do they have some kind of access to education of which the rest of us cannot access? Did she say this to make us jealous? Is it only for celebrities or can anyone who thinks really highly of themselves and is a pain in the ass enroll their kids there as well?

I'm seriously pissed. She is rubbing that crap in our faces and saying they are celebrities and we are not and so they need to go to things which are for celebrities and they can't be around any people who are not in their world.

Dina says she devotes her life to her four children. Uh huh. The ones who make her money. The rest of them can shove it. Where is Cody? Is he in the special program for celebrities? Hell no. She probably has him living in Long Island with his grandmother going to regular school and if I were him I would be pissed at reading these quotes too.

As for why Ali needs to be home schooled, Ali is "working, working hard. She's recording, and she's working on a fashion line. Ali has also been supporting her sister."

Is it possible to run yourself over in your own car, because I really feel like doing that at lunch. Oh, and lest you forget the other one. The older sister, "is working extremely hard. Her spray tan line sold more than 100,000 units at Sephora in one day."

I find that number extremely hard to believe. There are only 750 stores in the entire world which means each store would have had to sell well over 100 all on the same day. I understand they have online sales, but when is the last time you went into a store and they stocked more than 10 of something? And do you really see 100,000 people rushing to order it online? If it is true than there are 100,000 ignorant people who need to ask the question if this product is so good why does Lindsay always look so damn awful and splotchy?

Lance Armstrong Wants To Play The Field

Lance Armstrong has a new book coming out. In the book he talks about why he and Sheryl Crow broke up and he tries to make himself look noble and virtuous, but it basically comes off as him sounding like a prick. He says that the couple broke up because Sheryl wanted kids and marriage and he didn't. That's fine, but he offered this really lame excuse.

"She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn't want that, but I didn't want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I'd just had kids [Luke, 9, and twins Grace and Bella, 7]. Yet we're up against her biological clock -- that pressure is what cracked it."

Umm. They broke up in 2006. That was 3 years ago. So, Luke would have been 6 and the twins 4. How is that just having kids? Plus, the couple went out for a long time. Don't you think that he should have made this clearer to Sheryl sooner? I will tell you what it was. He didn't want a commitment with Sheryl. He just wanted fun. He liked being with a singer but he didn't like her enough to marry her and have kids with her. He should just say that. To make up some crap story about how it was too soon is b.s.

Now of course Lance is expecting a child with his latest girlfriend. I guess he is ready now. I know Lance has done a lot to raise money for the fight against cancer and we are all supposed to love him because of all the odds he has overcome and winning the Tour de France. Honestly though. I think he is a really selfish ass and I think he toyed with Sheryl Crow and ultimately broke her heart. I don't have a lot of respect for the guy. That might make me unpopular, but I think he tries way too hard to have this clean cut image and I think he is basically a man whore who rides bikes.

Sarah Jessica Parker & Matthew Broderick Surrogate Mom

I guess when I envisioned the type of woman that Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick would pick for their surrogate mother, I didn't expect it to be this woman. Yes, she is a professional surrogate so you know she is not going to want to keep the baby for herself, but I guess I didn't expect a woman who is the mother of a child she never sees who also lost a child to Guillain-Barre Syndrome.

According to Star Magazine, Michelle Ross is a professional surrogate who has children for lots of people but never sees her own son. In 2006 she and her husband divorced and she didn't want anything to do with her four year old son. Although she never sees her son, she is apparently on good terms with her ex who says she is a surrogate for the right reasons. It doesn't pay much, so I guess you have to like doing it. She is only getting paid about $30,000 to carry the babies. The firm that set it all up is getting paid $100,000. Why is the company that set it up getting paid three times the amount of money as the woman who is walking around carrying the twins? That doesn't exactly seem fair.

And for those of you who were wondering, Sarah Jessica Parker's eggs were used as well as some of Matthew Broderick's sperm so it will probably turn out to be twin girls who look exactly like Matthew. Well, the son looks like Sarah, so I figure this time it will be more of a Matthew thing. They will also sing show tunes and have an unnatural affection towards the songs of Wayne Newton.

Ted C Blind Item

Enough with the retardalicious closeted gay movies stars. They're so two movie-weekend openings ago! Now, it's back to the straights being as predictably sleazy as only het (men, mainly) can be! 'Cause, let's just be honest here, the real creepsters are you opposite-sex folk out there.

And not the single ones, either: The ultimately dangerous dudes to watch are the one's who have wedding rings on their left hands. You'd think that piece of jewelry would remind Sock-It-to-You Sleazewad to not go and grope female private parts that don't belong to his wife.

Yep, the incredibly sexy Sock-It isn't just an incredible actor on screen, but off, as well. He makes you believe that all things are perf in that marriage of his—particularly when chatting to an equally talented and beautiful honey (how sorta Sean Penn of him).

But as usual in Hollywood, life is not as it's portrayed:

Sock-It isn't only sticking it to his wife (painfully so), but other babes in town, as well. And he likes 'em young, too. Legal of course, but youthful, vibrant and frisky. Maybe that's because that way, these conquests of Sock-It's are too naïve to know that a married alcoholic with a coke fetish and a penchant for slapping up his women isn't exactly a winner.

As for Sleaze's wife? Oh she knows what's going on. But this babe has such history with her man she's not going anywhere. Besides, she's caught in that hideous trap. The one Rihanna had hopes of climbing out of. Maybe she still does?

All women run when you see Sock-It lurching your way...to the police if you have to!

And it Ain't: Sean Penn, David Duchovny, Ben Affleck

Today's Blind Items

Before the blind item, I just wanted to let you know there will be some FFF tomorrow.

This is one of the more bizarre things I have ever heard. This male reality star is on an A list reality show. A recurring reality show with the same cast, not some random dude on Survivor. Anyway, this star carries a bag with him wherever he goes. That is not unusual. What is unusual is that he always keeps $50,000 in the bag with him at all times. Never more and never less. He doesn't keep it a big secret. He just always says it is if he ever needs to get away quickly he has the means. The question is why would he need to get away quickly. People have asked him. He always says, "you never know." What the hell does that mean?

Random Photos Part One

A little change of pace for the top today. Ben Harper is a good looking guy, and I have to say that if I am Laura Dern, I'm thanking Billy Bob Thornton everyday for leaving me. If I tried to pull off this look, I would look like a marshmallow wrapped in a plaid jacket. Not pretty.
"So, I want to give this guy a ticket because he parked on the same street as me. Can you write him one for that?"
Yeah, yeah, it's Cameron Diaz and a basketball. Look at the woman behind her. She looks like she is freaking out trying to find something in her purse. She's at a game. What could cause that?
Yeah, yeah, Gisele Bundchen is gorgeous.
Hilary Duff really jammed herself into that dress. Mike Comrie seems pretty arrogant. Maybe it is just the angle.
Has anyone noticed that Hugh Jackman has been in every country on earth promoting his movie? Umm, actors take note. When you promote, your movies do better and you make more money later.
John Norris and what I truly hope is a wig so he can return it and get his money back.
And Kylie Minogue becomes the first woman ever to have sex with a fuse box.
What would have made this 100 times better? If it were Verne Troyer dressed like that.
Kiefer Sutherland on his way into a police station.
I read Leona Lewis left the US because some stalker was looking in her window and she was scared. Well, she wasn't gone long so I'm guessing the report wasn't true.
Normally I wouldn't do this or even put you through this because it isn't pretty. I can't wait to see the "after." Also, the glove is a nice touch in case she has any track marks.
Ludacris looks really good today. That is a nice suit. I love it.
Mischa Barton wearing normal clothes. That should almost make the top.
Judging by the look on Maria Shriver's face, I think this guy was pitching Arnold to do a porn cameo.
Mary Stuart Masterson is pregnant. Congratulations.
Neil Patrick Harris is not pregnant, but he is passing out free candy. Plus, in the news of the day, Kal Penn is still going to act and they are going to make a Harold & Kumar Christmas movie. I wonder if it will be called The 12 Bongs Of Christmas.
The great thing about this gig for Robert is that he really doesn't need to go shopping for Halloween.
Ron Howard and Brian Grazer together. Let us hope they spent the entire flight to Japan talking about Arrested Development.
"Haha, haha, Ich trinke mehr Alkohol als irgendjemand in der Welt."
And in the Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog this year, apparently you can get your very own live lawn jockey.

Josh Duhamel & Fergie Fight About Babies

In this week's National Enquirer they rounded up some homeless people to be their sources and then began writing stories. No, that didn't happen. Probably. Anyway, this week The Enquirer says that Fergie and Josh Duhamel are fighting about kids. It seems that Josh wants her to get pregnant now and Fergie says no, she wants to keep working and doing movies but she is willing to adopt. OK, I am all for adoption or biological kids. Whatever you want. The thing is though Fergie doesn't want to take any time off which is why she is opposed to having a biological child.

So, is she saying she can't work at all while pregnant? I understand about movies or what not, because roles are roles, but I don't understand why she can't sing or tour. Women all over the world work while pregnant and singing seems to be a whole lot easier than what most people do for a living. So, she must be talking about the fact she doesn't have time to deal with a biological baby but she does for one she adopted? What, are they just going to stop by the adoption drive-thru, say hi to the baby and drop it off with a nanny?

Whether you have your own baby or adopt, shouldn't determine the amount of attention you give to the child. The only other possible explanation I can think of for all this is that Fergie really is a man.

Michael Jackson Sued For $44M

The publicist who worked for Michael Jackson during his child molestation trial is suing Michael for $44M because Michael hasn't paid her any money. Honestly, since everyone still thinks he is a child molester, I wouldn't pay her either. A publicist who charges as much as she appears to charge better make everything go away. For that kind of money she should have had Michael Jackson being honored by The Boy Scouts Of America as their hero.

On the other hand, she probably knows some really interesting things about Michael and so I can't believe he would want to go to trial with this. She even alluded to this in her lawsuit when she says that it would no doubt produce theories, accusations and rumors. Oh yeah. You have to love the rumors. With Michael scheduled to make a gajillion dollars this summer in London, you would hate to see something leak out about other things he may have done or people he may have done.

Paula Abdul Is Out Of Her Mind

Yes, I know. Two Paula Abdul stories today. It can't be helped. Remember that very detailed and lengthy interview she gave to Ladies Home Journal? Remember how she said in it she was addicted to pills and had been for 12 years and gave the reasons why she was addicted and which pills she took? Remember how she said she went to rehab at Thanksgiving? Well now she says none of that is true and it was all completely taken out of context. Uh huh.

This is Ladies Home Journal we are talking about here. They are not exactly a tabloid rag that needs to make stuff up or go scandalous to sell magazines. Plus, that article was extremely detailed and there were lengthy direct quotes, and so I'm guessing Paula doesn't remember giving the interview or she was on pain killers when she gave it. Maybe she is afraid that she will have to talk about it everyday now because she will be doing press for her new record. Oh, and I say record in the absolute possible loosest terms. I was in a hurry before when posting the video, but I hope that she had to pay for everything on her own. I hope the record label didn't deprive however many new artists their spot because Paula wanted to make a record.

It was awful. The performance was awful. She moved like a 50 year old who has been injured a lot in her life. That being said, why couldn't she just stand there and lip synch. Was she trying to distract us from how bad she was? Just stand in one place, turn off the backing track and sing. If she can't do that then I don't think she is qualified to judge other singers.

Simon probably can't sing, but he is judging on the basis of being a record executive. Randy can sing, but doesn't have to, because his role is to judge based on being a producer and having been in bands. Paula on the other hand is there because she was a singer. The thing is she can't sing herself so why should anyone listen to her?

The Oprah Riots

How is it that IHOP and Denny's can give away free food during the year and they never have any problems at all, but Oprah gives out a free coupon for KFC and the world goes nuts. Oprah announced on her website that the entire world is getting free chicken. There is a coupon that had to be printed out by yesterday and then you have until the 19th to use it.

Well, apparently KFC outlets didn't get the memo or they are so used to no one actually coming to their stores that when 200-300 people show up, they lose their minds.

According to Gawker, KFC outlets in New York have refused to honor the coupons or are only doing so for a few minutes. This is not going over well with people and they are angry. Angry enough where customers have got into fights and others who are staging protests and sit-ins. There have been racial slurs back and forth. And, PETA hasn't even got involved in all of this yet. I can't wait to see what they try to do to Oprah. Try being the operative word.

Octo Mom Will Have To Adopt If She Wants More Kids

Nadya Suleman is scheduled to have fibroid tumors removed from her uterus this weekend. The gist of that is that having babies in the future is practically impossible. Of course, she could try the adoption route, but thankfully even the biggest bribe in the world will probably not be enough to ever see that happen. While she is in the hospital her mom and nannies will be taking care of the kids. So, just like everyday actually.

Also, in an attempt to get more people to actually like her, she is thinking of changing one of the octupulets names to Nevaeh which is Heaven spelled backwards. Here is a thought. Instead of giving your kid a name they can't pronounce why not just change it to Heaven. I mean that is the point of naming her Nevaeh right? Or, are you just trying to be cute and then get a mirror tattoo so when you look at her name it shows up the correct way?

Anyway, it is surgery, so I hope she is ok. While she is in there I wonder if she is going to have any other work done. If she comes out with a set of DD's, then I guess we know she accepted that porn offer.

This Just Keeps Getting Better

So, I end up having to stay in court all morning and rush back to see what is happening in gossip land, and wouldn't you know the Jon & Kate story is one that just keeps on giving. It is kind of like dating Paris Hilton. Of course that kind of giving is a lifetime thing, and this one will probably run its course in a few months.

So, Deanna Hummel who has portrayed herself as Miss Innocent 3rd grade teacher over the past week and has never done anything unseemly has a sex tape. No, it isn't with Jon, although that would be a definitely Very Special Jon & Kate. No, it turns out that Deanna had been with some other guy and they said, what the hell, lets make a sex tape. Then Deanna probably said, "I need to get famous so it will be worth something." Next thing you know she and Jon are getting it on and her ex-boyfriend sets up a website to sell the sex tape.

From the site:

When I read the news about her alleged affair with Jon Gosselin from the show Jon & Kate Plus 8, I have to say I wasn't surprised.

The Deanna I knew wasn't above cheating, even with married men, hence our eventual breakup. During our time together we made a secret amateur sex tape. It wasn't a hidden cam or anything, she was totally aware of the fact that I was taping. This has never been available to the public before. And it still isn't...yet! But I am shopping this tape and am currently in negotiations with sites like porn.com about selling it.

If anyone is interested in making me an offer, please email me at sextape@deannahummel.com

So, they probably already have several offers. If she hasn't lost her teaching job yet, she will in the next few weeks. This just keeps getting better and better. If you want to see the screen caps from the tape, you can click here. It is semi-NSFW. I can't tell if the guy kept his socks on, which seems to be standard for sex tapes. She does have her shirt on.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which fading celeb with a rising ego was slagging off the Met Ball bash all day yesterday, insisting it was for try-hards... but only because organisers refused to get her an invite..

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which film director could give Robert Pattinson a run for his money in the odor department? The big-time movie man smelled so badly during a recent shoot that even his actors couldn't stand to be around him!

Paula Abdul Live!

I guess "Live" means lip syncing these days.

Today's Blind Items - Kindness

This is not something terribly dramatic, but I just felt like posting a kindness today. This C list actress/writer/producer on a very hit television comedy had noticed all of these photos of a missing cat on telephone poles and in windows. She didn't really think much about it, but a day or two after she first saw the pictures, she met a little girl who was standing with her mom on the corner and they were putting up more pictures. So, our actress to be kind asked about the cat, and found it that it had been the girl's cat and that she had literally had it from almost the day she was born and she was now 8. The mother and daughter recognized our actress and they took some photos with a cell phone camera and our actress signed an autograph on one of the cat posters. The cat had managed to get outside when the front door had been left open by the cable guy.

Anyway, about a week goes by and our actress called the family to see if they had found the cat and they had not and had given up hope. The next day, our actress stopped by their house along with two other members of the show and dropped off a brand new kitten to the little girl.

Random Photos Part One

Dolly & Liza. Oh, and about 30 inches of fake nails. Definitely top spot worthy.
One of my favorite actresses is Audrey Tautou. She is supposed to be incredible in this new Coco Chanel movie.
Two days in a row of many of the same people. Claire Danes is working on that Mary Kate pose with the head tilted like that, but she and Hugh Dancy look good.
I know you think Chris Meloni looks good.
I have had lots of photos of Chris Pine, but this is the first with no shirt.
In the caption for this photo, Diane Sawyer was listed as a journalist. They must not watch Good Morning America.
Fawlty Towers reunited.
Randomness of the day. Hayden Panettiere and Bristol Palin.
I really do want to like Hilary Swank. I just can't ever get excited about her. Maybe if we got drunk together or something.
Maybe she is trying out for Peter Pan? I'm guessing Jennifer Aniston also stood up the entire night.
Jeff Daniels is starting to look like Brian Baumgartner from The Office.
Jennifer Esposito brought an extra set of clothes. She is already wearing a jacket so it couldn't be a sweater.
Kelly Ripa ensures her kids will be embarrassed when they get back to school and their friends post this everywhere.
The lovely Liv Tyler.
Marc Cohn - New York
Another Cohn. This time it is Mindy Cohn. You know? From Facts Of Life.
M.I.A and Ben Brewer.
It's a Goonie. Martha Plimpton looks great.
Marcus Schenkenberg seems to be shrinking a little more each time we see him.
Seriously? Wow does she crave attention.
Rob Lowe searching for new nannies.
Stella McCartney looking 100 times better than yesterday. Oh, and to be nice, her outfit at the Costume Ball was awful, but in fairness she did design Kate Beckinsale's dress which was very nice.
Love love love love love love Steve Zahn.
Too much Knowles.
Do you know these guys? Try and keep it under 140 characters.
Every time Victoria needs a shot of publicity Armani just throws out one of these pictures.
I'm impressed. Seriously. These are some of the most powerful and influential women in the world and they took a photo. Whoopi, Oprah and Suze.
Smile all you want, just don't think about making a Hancock 2.
Wristbands and a peace sign? I feel like I'm in a really bad Ricky Martin video from ten years ago.

Courtney Love Wants To Punch Ryan Adams

Whether or not you think Courtney Love killed Kurt Cobain, you do at some point realize that Courtney was not born with, or had her self censoring mechanism turned off by drugs and that can make her entertaining. Sometimes.

In her latest MySpace rant she rails against the newlywed couple of Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams. She has long hated Ryan because she feels he owes her money from recording Rock N Roll. I don't know how she can remember what happened yesterday, let alone something that happened six or seven years ago, but her hate is our laughter.

"Christ ugh igh ugh Mandy Moore ick the thoufghg of her sticking her toungue downthat filthy hatch...i might as well go watch "Hostelle" ill feel better), ick, dirty sheets, ick no toothbrush, smelly ass, ick i LOATHE that guy."

I'm guessing that perhaps Courtney is a little jealous that Ryan is no longer sticking his tongue down her filthy hatch. Just a guess.

Remember, that Courtney is sober. OK, I couldn't keep a straight face with that one. You can click over to her blog if you want. I really want you to see what the rantings of someone who is completely wasted and has access to the internet looks like. Oh, and it looks like she wrote several thousand words so be prepared for a very long read.

Brooke Hogan Spends Her 21st Birthday Loving Her Dad

At least Brooke Hogan didn't throw herself around on a stripper pole for her dad last night. At least not in public. These are photos from last night's birthday party in Las Vegas. Notice how Hulk's girlfriend goes in for the air kiss. Maybe it's just me, but do daughters normally pose like this with their fathers? If you didn't know Hulk was her dad, you would think she and her twin were getting it on with the old guy because he has money.
They really do look alike don't they.
Disturbed yet?
How about now? I know I am.
Oh, and Nick Hogan was there. No pictures at all with his dad. He seems pretty happy. I wonder what John Graziano did last night?

Ben Widdicombe Blind Item

Which top British model (slash idiot) tells friends "my dogs are racist, they only bark at black people"?

Farrah Fawcett Doesn't Know Redmond Is In Jail

Next week on NBC, they are going to air a two hour special on the struggle Farrah Fawcett has gone through over the past two years fighting her cancer. It was filmed by Alana Stewart. Ryan O'Neal has been doing press for the film and he says that Farrah spends the whole day in bed and barely has the energy to talk. I'm not sure if I can handle watching two hours of that.

Ryan says that Farrah has no idea that Redmond is in jail. When Redmond came to visit her from jail, he was still in his prison jump suit and was wearing shackles around her feet, but that Farrah didn't even notice. Ryan also says that "Redmond is terrified for his mother. I told him she's rebounding. I lied to him. I lied to her. It's the best thing."Well, I'm guessing now he will know won't he? I understand protecting your child, but maybe it would be best if you told him rather than him reading about it on a website or seeing it in the movie next week.

Supposedly at one point in the documentary, Redmond is lying next to his mom while she is sleeping and he is shown crying. I just don't know how I can watch this.

Although it sounds from Ryan's quotes that Farrah is dying, he says they are going to try one last miracle cure attempt and that they have not given up fighting. I wish her well.

Paris Hilton Makes $1M A Month

In what world is possible for someone like Paris Hilton to make $1M a month? Apparently in our world. Are we really that shallow of a society that we are willing to buy the products that she endorses? We obviously are or she wouldn't make that much money. I can't even type. Why do any of us work? What is the point? Lets just go make asses of ourselves and be ignorant and stupid and companies will pour money down our throats.

In a deposition Paris had to give in a suit filed against her for failing to promote the movie Pledge This, it was revealed that for the years 2006 and 2007 Paris made $22M. That is almost $1M a month. I'm shocked. The good news is she is absolutely clueless about her finances so someone will probably steal it all from her and hopefully she won't be able to get it back.

Access Hollywood got their hands on some of the choicer quotes from Paris' deposition.

When asked who gets her bills, she said, “I don’t know. I’m assuming, like, whoever pays my bills. I never ask about that stuff.”

Hilton's attorney says Paris has not taken a day off from work in years and that "she's the single busiest person on the planet." The remarkable thing is he probably said it with a straight face. I have never felt more insulted as a human. Forget about the moms and the police and fire fighters. The teachers. The people who work three jobs as a single parent to support their kids. Forget about the leaders of countries. None of them have a thing on Paris Hilton. She works harder than all of them.

It turns out that Paris was one of the producers of the movie. When asked what a producer does she said, “I’m not sure what a producer does, but — I don’t know, help get cool people in the cast."

Oh, and she only does Letterman and not Leno because he “didn’t follow particular guidelines with regard to why we were there and promoting. We would never do Leno.” I'm not sure who the "we" is there, but I also bet Leno is not losing a lot of sleep over the fact that Paris won't be on his show.

I need a drink.

Paula Abdul Stays Focused On Her Craft

You laughed when you read the headline didn't you? Me too. The only problem is that the Los Angeles Times actually used it on their website and they were not trying to be funny. Seriously. Click the link if you don't believe me. I actually read the article which shows all of you how much I care. It was painful, and I never really figured out what her craft is, but I do know Paula needs to stay focused. I think we can all agree on that. If she stops focusing, the next thing you know it is trip over your dog time and sleeping on the floor.

I think the writer was referring to her singing. Is that her craft? She is going to sing tonight on American Idol. OK, let me take that back. She sang somewhere a few months ago. Someone recorded that and that is going to be on American Idol tonight. Oh, she will be moving her lips, but she doesn't even sound that great on a recording so there is no way she is ever going to make that morning show appearance and sing live.

You know she wants this record to do well because as she gets further and further from her "singing" career people will only remember her as the crazy judge from Idol who always looked drunk. Oh, and she was married to Charlie Sheen's brother. Yeah, the brother who fell off the face of the earth.

Kirstie Alley Gains Weight For Fame

I guess I should start out by saying I really don't like Kirstie Alley. OK, whew. Got that out of the way. Let's review her career, shall we? The 80's were her decade with Cheers and then she did that Veronica's Closet thing in the 90's and then nothing. Well she did do something. She ate and ate and ate. I don't blame her for eating. I have a huge weight problem and most of it is because I love food, but I have other issues as well. I don't mind that she gained weight. I don't mind that she only had a chance at a second career because she was a Jenny Craig spokesperson and then got a reality show. That's fine.

Here is my problem. She gained all the weight back, plus some that she lost while on Jenny Craig. That happens more often than not. But, what did she do? Did she try and lose the weight? Nope. What she did was call her publicist. The only time she has been famous in the past ten years is when she was losing weight. She got on Oprah. When is the last time you saw an actress who had not worked in ten years get on Oprah?

She wants that fame again. Instead of hiring a trainer and taking off the weight quietly, she called her publicist who called People who ran a breathless cover story about how she is going to lose it all again. A cover story? Seriously? So as her reward for gaining all this weight she gets a cover story and People is going to follow her as she loses it all again. She will probably get another show out of this and have some fame again. Then, when everyone realizes how annoying she is, it will all go away and the whole cycle begins again.

Kiefer Sutherland Saves The World - At Least In His Mind

I know Kiefer Sutherland says he is sober, but when you head-butt a guy while dressed in a tuxedo and you are not actually saving the world, it seems like maybe he had been drinking. By now, I'm sure you have seen the report that Monday night after the Costume Institute Gala, that Kiefer was stumbling down the street when he heard a noise. Jack Bauer, I mean Kiefer went and investigated and saw several terrorists surrounding what he thought was his long lost love Julia Roberts. It turns out it was Brooke Shields. When he approached the terrorists he noticed they had craftily departed leaving in their wake, only their leader. Women's clothes designer Jack McCollough. At some point Brooke was either pushed/fell/lost her balance/or ducked do to the flying bullets and ended up on the ground. Kiefer, wanting to defend her honor told Jack to apologize. Jack M, not Jack Bauer. I mean I guess he could have told himself to apologize but that would be kind of strange. Anyway, Jack M refused to apologize and pushed Kiefer. The trained operative came out in Kiefer and he head-butted Jack M who suffered a broken nose.

The aftermath to all of this has been the most interesting. I don't know if Brooke owes Jack M money or just wants free clothes, but her version of events appears to contradict everyone else's version of events. People are agreed that Brooke was shoved. Brooke says she wasn't. Kiefer said she ended up on the ground. Everyone also seems to agree Kiefer was drunk. But he saved the world.

Could Jon & Kate Ever Divorce?

US Weekly has a cover story out this week that says Jon Gosselin has been cheating on Kate with 3rd grade teacher Deanna Hummel. She was the woman in the car. Her obviously self educated brother and roommate gave an interview to US and said the pair has been together for three months.

I love how this guy just throws his sister under the bus. I'm not sure what sibling would do that to another if they really cared about the other person. Plus, they live together so it isn't like they are going to run into each other. His explanation for throwing her under the bus is, "She's a nice girl, not a homewrecker. He is a bad liar. This isn't healthy for her. But she is refusing to help herself, so here I am trying to help her myself. I hope this clears the air."

It clears the air that you are a self serving fame seeker, so thanks for that.

He also says the couple has a lot of sex and he is forced to listen to them because his room is next to hers and they have thin walls and it doesn't help that he also has little eye holes drilled in the wall so he can check to make sure she is ok.

"A lot of the time, it was pretty, um, gross listening to her, you know, um — how do I say this? The walls are thin. Let’s just say that. I mean, no one wants to hear his sister having sex, let alone with a married dude who's, like, almost twice her age and who has eight kids and a maybe-crazy wife. Ick. Nast."

For the record I believe he is 32 and she is 23, but I could see how math is not his strong suit. Either is the idea I guess of actually leaving the apartment while his sister is having sex if it makes him so uncomfortable. If it is as, how does he say it, "Ick. Nast." If something were Ick or Nast to me, I doubt I would stick around and listen to it. I would probably go to the library and learn how to add numbers together.

If Jon is indeed doing the "Nast" with the 3rd grade teacher, can he and Kate ever divorce? I don't think so. I think they have to suck it up and pretend they love each other because if they divorce, a show called "Kate Makes Nine" just doesn't have quite the ring to it. I guess it could be "Whoever Has Visitation This Week Whether It Be Jon Or Kate Makes 9 While They Are Waiting In The McDonald's Parking Lot To Exchange The Kids."

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which very taken Oscar winner has been sending lots of flowers to a pretty fashion publicist?

Today's Blind Items - Bad Drug Behavior

I love bad drug behavior days. They are some of my favorite items. Today's bad drug behavior involves a movie actress. Definitely C list. But, and this is a big but, she has an advantage that other C listers would love to have. Because of the films she is making or has made, she will never drop below C list. Anyway, in the movie she most recently completed, she was actually a lead. Small movie, but she was a lead. She loved being a lead and was the biggest diva ever. One day during filming her trailer door opened and she ran out screaming and yelling at the world asking "who the f**k stole my coke?" She did this for three or four minutes in front of the entire cast and crew. She then told the director she wasn't going to work anymore that day until he had someone bring her more coke. All of this at full volume in front of 40-50 people. 20 minutes later someone brought her some coke and a short time after that she emerged from her trailer ready to go to work.

Random Photos Part One

Dom DeLuise - RIP

Ben Affleck on the set of his new movie.
Next time Bill, you might want to give it an extra shake before putting it away.
A first time appearance for Dan Brown.
Yep. The Edwards' on Oprah. Apparently Elizabeth told Oprah that she has no idea who the baby belongs to. She says she saw one picture one time.
Edward Norton looks to be growing his hair out. He also looks pretty good here.
George Clooney on the set of his new movie. He is going to testify in the Rande Gerber sexual harassment trial.
I love Jake's duffel bag.
"And then the llama ran away because SD-6 was coming."
They make a cute couple. Strange, but cute.
I'm guessing Kelly Ripa works out.
I know I have had Karina and Maksim in the photos individually, but this might be the first time I have had them here as a couple.
Lin-Manuel Miranda and Cynthia Nixon who played Miranda get ready to announce the Tony Award nominations.
So, this is Lyss Stern. Her new book is called "If You Give A Mom A Martini." I love that title. She is getting in the photos simply based on the title. From my experience if you give a mom a martini it is easier to ask her for $50. It also makes dinner more fun and if you give her three, she starts telling the world what she would do to George Clooney.
"And this slide is when we went on holiday."
"Damn, I should have taken the other detour."
Parker Posey acts out scenes from Waiting For Guffman.
Two very popular people in the photos are Ryan Eggold and Kellan Lutz.
Rumer and Scout Willis. I will leave the comments to you on this one.
Holy crap. It's Steve Earle and he's wearing a tie. I never thought I would see that.

Shia LaBeouf Has Some Mommy Issues

My mom is great and wonderful and kind and annoying and is really good at making me feel guilty. I think all of these are typical thoughts to have about a parent. I have never thought of my mother as sexy. It just isn't a thought that ever pops in my head. Apparently though, it pops into Shia LaBeouf's head a lot, and in some really disturbing ways.

In an interview with Playboy this month, Shia says that his mother is the sexiest woman in the world. Even though that is kind of strange, I was willing to let it go, because maybe he meant it in a non sexual kind of way or he meant pretty and not sexy. But then, I read some more and realized, that no, he really did mean it in a sex kind of way.

It all started when he was a kid and his mom and her friends would be naked around the house. "It's literally a bunch of naked women tracing auras around one another's bodies with incense and then sitting together and humming for prolonged periods of time."

OK, so, his mom is a hippie so maybe you could let that go. Maybe. But it gets worse.

"Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother. She's an ethereal angel. Nobody looks like that woman. If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren't my mother, as sick as that sounds."

Yes, that does sound sick. I'm assuming he meant be with her as in be with her with her. Who has those thoughts about their mom? And lest you think he meant a person like his mother or someone similar, he also says that he now appreciates his mother's naked body. Ummm. Excuse me. Your mom is still getting naked in front of you? And you think she is the sexiest woman in the world? Am I wrong? Maybe others out there think of their mothers like that. It just seems so very, very wrong. Now, I understand there are nudists in the world and so children see their parents naked more often, but do they also think their mother is the sexiest person in the world? Is anyone creeped out by this or am I just taking this all wrong?

Someone Is Going To Need A Shot

In the I Threw Up A Little In My Mouth story of the day, Tila Tequila took to her MySpace page to tell the world who her boyfriend is. Although she wanted to keep it a secret, she just couldn't any longer because of all the rumors floating around about who she is dating. Uh huh. Oh, I know there are rumors, but I think the problem is the rumors have started to slow down and she wants that extra shot of publicity so figures she should take to her blog. So, who is Tila Tequila dating? Umm. Ray J. Yep. The guy who, courtesy of Kim Kardashian brought us the most boring porn of all time is probably making new porn with Tila.

"My real boyfriend is RAY J!!!!! Yes.....we've been dating for a while but didn't want the media to find out cuz it's nobody's business, but since all these other random rumors starting poppin up (sic) that I'm dating so-and-so, I finally felt that I needed to tell the world that rumors are NOT TRUE!!!! No man has made me feel so loved and so happy in such a long time. We really do love each other and I am so happy to have FINALLY met someone who treats me with respect and love."

I'm assuming that when she says with respect and love that means he lets her run the video camera sometimes. What I see happening here is another year of Shot Of Love, but this time they are both looking for a woman to bring home.

Costume Institute Gala Photos - Part Six

Rachel Bilson
Rosario Dawson
Rihanna
Ric Ocasek & Paulina Porizkova
Rachel Weisz
Renee Zellweger
Selma Blair
Stella McCartney
Tyra Banks
Thalia
Victoria Beckham
Vivi Nevo & Ziyi Zhang
Winona Ryder

What Brad Pitt Told Angelina Jolie About Jennifer Aniston

Angelina - Xin Chao
Brad - Hey babe, I just was talking to Courteney. I wanted you to know before you saw it in the tabloids.
Angelina - Was the shrew there?
Brad - No, she wasn't.
Angelina - What did you talk about?
Brad - This and that. My motorcycle. How good I looked. The usual.
Angelina - Well, while you were out having fun, I have been holding a conference call with world leaders about what to do about future pandemics that affect the world and how I can best put my expertise in all things to good use.
Brad - David has a new motorcycle. I was hoping he would let me ride it.
Angelina - I have also been teaching all of the kids how to read and write Vietnamese, training them in the proper use of guns and made Maddox give a lecture on how global warming will affect Africa.
Brad - They had the greatest craft service backstage. Oh, I have to go. He is playing Black Hole Sun. Bye.
Angelina - Tam biet.
(sound of line clicking over)
Angelina - Billy are you still there? I don't have anything on right now.

Costume Institute Gala Photos - Part Five

Lauren Bush
Leighton Meester
Liv Tyler
Marion Cotillard
Miranda Kerr
Mary Kate Olsen
Maggie Rizer
Molly Sims
Marisa Tomei

Paula Abdul Says She Has Been Drug Free For Six Months

In an interview with Ladies Home Journal, Paula Abdul talked about how she finally got over her addiction to pain killers. Apparently this addiction was the reason she was slurring her words and was difficult to understand. Paula still says she never filmed an episode of American Idol while under the influence of pain medication. So, what exactly was her cutoff time? Does she consider not taking one while on the air not being under the influence?

She says she was dependent on heavy doses of pain medication for 12 years, but last Thanksgiving went to La Costa Resort and Spa and decided she didn't need them anymore.

"I could have killed myself....Withdrawal -- it's the worst thing," she says. "I was freezing cold, then sweating hot, then chattering and in so much pain, it was excruciating. But at my very core, I did not like existing the way I had been."

According to Paula, the reason she sometimes seemed like she might have been out of it was this combination of drugs. "Paula wore a patch that delivered a pain medication about 80 times more potent than morphine and took a nerve medication to relieve her symptoms. Sometimes she took a muscle relaxer. But the pain was so bad it often left her sleepless and she would, as she says, "get weird."

80 times more powerful than morphine? Seriously? That would definitely cause a reaction. I haven't watched the show this year. Does she still slur? Is she making up the part about being clean?

Costume Institute Gala Photos - Part Four

Jessica Alba
Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel
Jessica Stam
Kate Beckinsale
Kate Bosworth (my vote for best dressed)
Kirsten Dunst
Kate Hudson
Kate Moss
Katy Perry
Kanye West & Amber Rose

What Courteney Cox Told Jennifer Aniston About Brad Pitt

According to the NY Post, this past Sunday night at the Chris Cornell concert here in LA, Courteney Cox and David Arquette were backstage when Brad Pitt showed up. Courteney and Brad spent the rest of the evening talking. When she got home, I'm sure Courteney called Jen.

Jen - (loud inhaling sound) Hello.
Courteney - You will never guess who I just talked to for 2 hours
Jen- Who?
Courteney - Brad
Jen - Brad? As in my Brad?
Courteney -Yep
Jen - Did he look good? Was the shrew there?
Courteney - He looked ok and no, she wasn't there.
Jen - Did he ask about me? You told him I was single right?
Courteney - Sure he asked about you
Jen - What did he say exactly? I want to know. Does he think of me and miss me? Does he call me and hang up like I do to him? Does he know I only slept with all these guys to make him jealous?
Courteney - He asked how you were doing and where you were tonight?
Jen - Did he sound like he meant it? How come you didn't call me? OMG, I could have come over. I don't know what I would have worn. I mean I could go with the jeans and a t-shirt thing, but, then after all this time it might have been better if he saw me in something else. Oh God, what would I have worn. I mean a dress can be casual, but he also might think I was trying too hard. I don't want to look desperate. Hang on I have to light this bong again. So, he asked about me? Did you tell him I looked good? I do look good don't I? Hello? Courteney? Are you still there? She must have hung up. Damn this bong. I need a new one.

Costume Institute Gala Photos - Part Three

Tom Brady & Gisele Bundchen
Helena Christensen
Heidi Klum
Iman
Jeff Gordon & Ingrid Vandebosch
January Jones
Jesse McCartney
Karen Elson & Jack White
Guy Oseary & Madonna

Walking Victoria Principal's Dog Is Dangerous

Apparently Victoria Principal has nothing to do all day except time how long it takes you to take her dog for a walk and to make sure it went to the bathroom. I would like to think she doesn't do the same to humans and stand outside the bathroom door talking about how your allotted minutes are up and you will just have to return another time, or pay extra for going over your plan's minutes.

Anyway, Victoria's ex-maid Maribel Banegas is suing Victoria for assault, emotional distress and false imprisonment. According to Maribel, she took Victoria's dog for a walk which was a part of her duties. When she returned, Victoria told her she had taken too long and so fired her. Maribel asked to be paid what she was owed. Victoria told her to hang on and left the room. When Victoria came back into the room she had a gun in her hand.

According to court documents, Victoria then pointed the gun at Maribel and threatened to kill her. Maribel decided her last paycheck could wait, and left. Ummm. Even if this story isn't true, at least these cases are getting more interesting. I actually believe Victoria pulled a gun, but I'm not sure if I believe the reason alleged.

Costume Institute Gala Photos - Part Two

Hugh Dancy & Claire Danes
Ciara
Claudia Schiffer
Diane Kruger & Joshua Jackson
Elizabeth Hurley
Eva Longoria & Tony Parker
Eva Mendes & Francisco Costa
Emmy Rossum
Emma Roberts

Jon Gosselin's Other Woman Makes No Sense

So, last week I posted about how Jon Gosselin was photographed with another woman who was driving his car and whom he called, "Babe." Well, the other woman has a name and it is Deanna Hummel. She is 23 years old and told People Magazine that everything was completely innocent. "We're just friends. It's absurd that anyone would think otherwise."

Well, I don't think it is absurd that people would think otherwise. I don't think we should assume otherwise, but I think it is perfectly plausible that if the photographer had not been there that something more innocent than driving his car may have occurred.

About that car thing?

"He just got this new car and I wanted to drive it. I'm into cars. We all have guy and girl friends. Because of who he is, it gets portrayed the wrong way, and it's unfair to him and his family."

Uh huh. She also says Jon never called her babe and that no one calls her babe.

OK. Well let us assume her story is entirely true. She has no reason to lie or anything. Oh, well sure, money. Oh, and if she thinks Jon would leave Kate for her. Anyway, Jon released a statement after this happened last week saying he had "shown poor judgment."

Why was it poor judgment? If the two of you are just friends than it really shouldn't matter if you were riding in a car together or that you gave a really weird reason for that car ride. Just because your married with children (Have you ever noticed the title sequence in Married With Children has a scene from Vacation?) doesn't mean you have to stop riding in cars with other people. That is why I think there is more to this than either person is saying.

Think about it. If everything were completely innocent would you tell the world I used poor judgment? What is your significant other going to say when you say something like that? Was he referring to going out? Why can't he go out? They have nannies.

Costume Institute Gala Photos - Part One

Agyness Deyn
Anne Hathaway
Ashley Olsen & Justin Bartha
Billy & Katie Lee Joel
Blake Lively
Bono & Ali Hewson
Bar Refaeli
Brooke Shields
Donatella Versace, Cindy Crawford, Allegra Versace
Bruce Willis & Emma Hemming

NY Daily News Blind Item

What superstar has a seriously annoying girlfriend? She bugs her dude with constant diva-like demands ... even during his golf games!

Today's Blind Items

This up an coming B- list television actor is on a very hit ensemble show. He hasn't really done much except for the show, but because of his high name recognition and the show's popularity I am giving him a B-. Anyway, he and this teenager starting dating and it was fairly public until he started dating his C+ co-star. She is C because her name recognition isn't as big. Anyway, our actor has continued to date the teenager and his co-star as well as others. When our actor was out of the country doing press, his co-star found out about the teenager and has vowed revenge. As an added twist, the teenager has been our actor's drug purchaser so that he is never caught actually buying his nose candy.

Random Photos Part One

Happy 90th birthday to Pete Seeger. If you make it that long and can eat that much cake, you have my vote for the top spot.
I'm trying to make out the tune that Arlo Guthrie and Emmylou Harris are singing. Wait, yes, it is "Wash that gray right out of my hair."
My oh my it's Annie Potts. I haven't seen her since Joan of Arcadia. She is 56 years old and looks great.
Jimmy Fallon and his ladies. From L to R are Jennifer Connelly, Jessica Alba, Ciara, and Jessica Biel.
So, let me get this straight. On the far left is the President of Chanel. On the far right is the President of Saks Fifth Avenue. The people in the middle are Vice Presidents or something. They gathered all of this firepower just to pose in front of big box of perfume. Seriously?
It almost looks like Dean Winters thinks he is holding something in his hands. It isn't a very natural pose.
Eva Longoria needs a jump.
Ed Westwick playing soccer.
Here is some randomness. L to R. Billy Bragg, "guest," Tom Morello, Tim Robbins and the always lovely Ani DiFranco.
Twice a year I post hats. This is one of those days. These are from the Kentucky Derby. First up is Brooke Shields.
And Aretha Franklin.
Kim Kardashian actually looks really good here. See, I can be nice.
Kid Rock and his hat.
And finally a very thin Bobby Flay standing next to Stephanie March.
Jon Bon Jovi looks really good here.
James Denton and his wife Erin O'Brien.
Long time, no see, k.d. lang.
Except for Bride Wars it has been forever since I have seen Kristen Johnston. And no, I didn't watch the movie, I just saw her in the trailer.
Kellan Lutz and Ashley Greene.
LeAnn Rimes goes for the Christina Aguilera lipstick applicator.
Mamie Gummer doing the pee pee dance next to Jeremy Irons and Marcia Gay Harden.
The ultimate randomness. Marc Jacobs and the legend that is Paul Krugman.
Ryan Gosling on the set of his new movie.
The sad thing is that Stephen Baldwin thinks Ed Hardy was cool to begin with, let alone now.
You really need to see Shannon Tweed and Gene Simmons in their show.
The Mellencamps.
Will Ferrell playing tennis against
Rainn Wilson.
Then Will shows the world what it is like to be Tom Cruise.

Matthew McConaughey Is A Super Hero

The in thing for celebrities right now must be to be a superhero. Two weeks ago we had Elisha Cuthbert and her miraculous feat of strength when she jumped over a cab that was about to run her down. Yes, that was a great story, but she was only saving herself. What we need is an actor who not only saves himself but saves his baby from evil. Or a ram.

Matthew McConaughey was on vacation at the Grand Canyon with his girlfriend and 10 month old son. They were just wandering around. Matthew of course was not wearing a shirt and was posing to no one in particular, but still kept finding shiny rocks to check himself out. Anyway, when he got distracted by an imperfect looking muscle, he let a ram sneak up behind him and his baby who he was carrying.

The ram started kicking up dust in their direction. What could Matthew do to save his son? "I'm holding eyes with this ram getting up real steady.... I need something to get behind in case he charges. I ended up snugging up behind this briar patch... I sat there for about a 15-second stand-off. Then he popped up over the other side of the cliff. Four lady rams were on the other side."

That was a close one. Stay tuned for our next actor hero adventure.

Pink Was Bisexual At 12?

Over the weekend The News Of The World ran an interview they did with Pink. In that interview, they have her quoted as saying,"I'm not embarrassed about being bisexual. This is who I am." Well, apparently either the reporter got the quote wrong, or Pink didn't mean what she said or something because the next thing you know, Pink's people are not Pretty In Pink and instead are pissed and said the quote was entirely fabricated. Pink then took to the internet to say, "I just read that I'm bisexual. So 1991. Good thing people write articles about me so I can get my facts str8 (straight). I mean straight. Read on people."

1991? Does that mean she was bisexual in 1991, because she was born in 1979 so that means she was getting pretty freaky at the age of 12. Oh, I guess it could be her trying to be cute saying that being bisexual was only cool in 1991. I really am at a loss as to what she is trying to say. Does anyone have a clue?

The Longest 1 Minute And 4 Seconds Of Your Life

For some reason only known to the management of the Chicago Cubs or their parent The Tribune Company, someone thought it would be a good idea to invite Denise Richards to sing Take Me Out To The Ballgame this past Friday. This of course shows the same good judgment and common sense which forced them into bankruptcy earlier this year. I understand that all celebrities do not make good singers and I think most people don't care as long as the celebrity is famous enough. If you get Hugh Jackman in there, the crowd won't care how he sings or probably what he sings.

Denise Richards on the other hand is an entirely different story. Besides being a completely awful singer and not knowing the words, she isn't that big of a celebrity. It hardly makes sense to fly her in, put her up in a hotel and pay a fee (kind of sounds like another job), to someone that most people don't really like.

Anyway, if you enjoy cats fighting at night or nails running down a chalkboard, then I have a treat for you.

Rande Gerber Accused Of Sexual Harassment - It Wasn't Cindy Crawford

It flew for two months under the radar, but finally someone noticed that Rande Gerber had been sued for sexual harassment back in March. According to court documents, the man who is married to Cindy Crawford apparently found she wasn't enough to satisfy his sexual urges. Two former employees who worked at his Moonstone Lounge in San Diego said they lost their jobs because they wouldn't have sex with the staff or with Rande. Uh oh.

But wait, it gets better. One of the women alleges that Gerber attempted to kiss her and reached under her dress.

I'm sure the past few months have been a lot of fun at the Gerber/Crawford house. This is also one of the rare times when it is appropriate for Cindy Crawford to say, "Don't you know who I am?" I mean if Cindy Crawford isn't enough for him, then what makes him think some random 20 year old would be.

As for his side of the story, Gerber's people said, "These allegations were previously investigated and shown to be baseless. This lawsuit has no merit." Well we will certainly find out, now won't we?

The Hoff Was Just Drunk And Not Poisoned

Hang on to your signed Baywatch posters just a little longer it turns out The Hoff is still alive. Reports this weekend suggested that The Hoff was rushed to the hospital by his ex-wife while his daughter slapped his face to keep him alive. The reason? A .39 blood alcohol level. That is an impressive number. Anytime you see a number that close to .40 you are really looking at death.

But, it turns out the reports may have been greatly exaggerated. Oh, The Hoff was drunk, and he definitely spent the night in the hospital. His tenth alcohol related emergency over the past few years. According to The Hoff's people, David's ex-wife Pamela Bach made up the part about the near death experience and the .39 blood alcohol level. Hmmm. You know what? I don't really trust Pamela Bach, but this is not The Hoff's first trip to the hospital and I'm guessing after all these years it takes a significant amount of alcohol to force him to the hospital.

So, I will go with Colonel Mustard, a .30 blood alcohol level, an ex-wife who called paramedics, and a daughter who stayed home.

How To Meet Britney Spears

I have probably been to a thousand concerts in my life. In those 1,000 concerts I have seen hundreds and hundreds of people climb on stage and usually do one of three things. Stage dive, run around like they just won the lottery or approach the singer at which point they are generally either escorted off the stage. This can be done while walking or while being launched, but this is the usual result. However, in all of my years and years of attending concerts I have never seen someone make the national news for crashing a stage. Kyle King of Orlando changed all that Saturday night when he jumped on the stage at a Britney Spears concert. I don't blame him. He probably just wanted to see if she was really singing. Answer? Nope. Britney screamed when she saw the guy and no sound came out of the microphone. None. Zip.

Before Kyle could actually touch Britney, challenge her to a dance off, or complain about the people smoking, security and dancers swarmed him. At least they didn't have tasers. All this publicity only cost Kyle a $250 ticket given to him by the police. Oh, and the ticket to get in. Oh, and a few beers. Oh, and don't forget a program. It is too bad he wasn't plugging something or selling something or had thought of it in advance. That company that pays you for your gold is pretty sketchy, they probably would have paid him some bucks to plaster their phone number on his back.

Jenny McCarthy Becomes One Of Oprah's Kids

Jenny McCarthy has landed the big one. From now on she will be rich and will be given some sort of honorary title. No, minion wouldn't be a good title. Jenny has become the latest person to be blessed by Oprah and will soon have her own television show, magazine and Dr. Phil's sweet affection. Following in the footsteps of Phil and Rachael Ray, Jenny was signed to a deal by Harpo which should make her a billionaire sometime in the next year, give Jim Carrey a sidekick job if he can't get work, and give her an hour everyday to talk about how vaccines are ruining the world.

I'm happy for her. I didn't realize she was mogul material, but she certainly works her butt off, is funny and has written some best selling books so she does fit into the mold of an Oprahinion. Kind of a mashup with Oprah and minion. No? I will work on it. How about just onion? The magazine Onion might get mad though.

Jenny's first assignment was a blog on Oprah's website. Next week she will have her own television show. Probably in two weeks her own magazine and sometime in the next month or so she will be given a country. A small one to start.

WTF Is Vanity Fair Thinking?

Vanity Fair is one of my favorite magazines. I think they do a great job of mixing fluff articles with great investigative reporting and have fantastic photos. With all of that being said, I'm shocked that Jessica Simpson is going to be their June 2009 cover. Ummm. Why? Yes, if you get past the fact that she doesn't close her mouth in any of the 8 photos below and seems to have the same vapid, vacant expression in all but one, the photos are ok to look at. Those are photos though. Does she really deserve a cover on one of the most famous magazines of all time? What has she done to deserve it? According to the article her clothing empire is a $400M a year business. Uh huh. I would love to see the books on that. Is that cover worthy? I don't think so. The article itself is ok, because the reporter is not afraid to take some shots at her and tells us, the readers the questions he has been told he cannot ask. Umm. Weight? You got it. Jessica also will not talk about Nick Lachey, although she did say she hasn't spoken to him in years. But is all of this cover worthy? Was there no other person in the world who would be a better cover? Read the article here.

TMZ Goes Racist

In an attempt to be more racist towards Asians than Miley Cyrus, TMZ ran the following headline over the weekend about a beauty pageant winner who is suing the event's organizers.

Miss Vietnam USA Claims Pageant No Pay Her

Yes, just like Miley believes all Asians can barely see out of their eyes, TMZ apparently believes that all Asians cannot speak a grammatically correct sentence. The shocking thing about this is that despite hundreds of comments pleading with TMZ to pull the headline, they have chosen to ignore, what is to me, extremely insulting and overtly racist. For the past two months, TMZ has been relentlessly bringing up the Miley Cyrus scandal and taking shots at her about it whenever they can bring it into an article. Obviously they thought they could do a better job of insulting Asians and so have taken it upon themselves to do so.

TMZ is a site read by millions of people each day, and now they have, by this headline and their refusal to remove it, said they are the arbiter of what is racist and what isn't in society. They judged Miley racist, but apparently in their own eyes this is perfectly acceptable. It isn't.

Sometimes I think we focus too much on being politically correct, but this is not one of those times. TMZ saw an Asian face and made the joke. They don't know the woman. Why is it they assume all Asians speak like that? Do your Asian friends speak like that? If they had made a similar remark about African Americans would there be more outrage? Would they have dared make a similar remark about African Americans? Of course not. So, why is it ok to be racist towards Asians?

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which D-list rapper got in a hemp, er, heap, of trouble with event sponsors when he lit up a joint at their bash? They couldn’t kick him out because he was the “big” celebrity name of the night, but they didn’t end up paying him.