Weekly Thanks & A Camp Ticket Winner

Last week I took the time to thank many of the readers who had decided to advertise on the site. Well that set off an entire new wave of readers who wanted to be a part of it. I am humbled that you would do that and so I want to thank them. On the upper left are Ticket Liquidators who are resellers. I am hoping they are going to stock up on Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman and their fall love fest, I mean play. Right beneath them is the site A To D list which is with your help attempting to compile the definitive guide to A-D list. Hey just like it sounds. On the upper right is the program Panic Away which helps people who are prone to panic attacks. Right beneath them is Travelatime which is a site to purchase all of your travel requirements. And finally, last but not least this week is Dragon Search Marketing who will help your blog or site get noticed by everyone in the entire world.

The winner of the tickets to see A Camp is Alex from Vancouver, and apparently I have learned the venue where A Camp is playing is affectionately known as Dicks On Dicks which sounds like a party. Congratulations Alex.

Four For Friday

I had not planned on doing this, and in some recess of my mind had forgotten I had even written this, but someone asked me this week about Cannes and the long blind item I had written about Cannes. I wrote it almost two years ago which made me realize how long I have been writing this blog. The time has just flown by. Anyway, with Cannes just finishing, I thought this would be the perfect time to revisit this wild item. I have included the link in case you want to see what the original guesses were.

CR Goes AWOL

August 14, 2007

As you can probably tell from some of the other long blind items, much of my early legal career consisted of being a highly paid gofer or fix it person. It's not like I was the only one, there were several of us who when we were not wading through thousands upon thousands of discovery documents were assigned to make sure so and so got to court or to his deposition or went to homes to pick up legal documents and made sure they were signed. And when I mean signed, I mean signed by the actual party that was supposed to sign them and not someone's housekeeper because the actual party had been on a 72 hour coke binge and couldn't even hold a pen. This is the weirdest one of the getting someone sober incidents I have been involved in, but they happen everyday. Everyday. There is no difference between regular folks and celebrity folks except that when celebrity folks get trashed out of their minds they are often responsible for hundreds of jobs and there are millions of dollars involved.

Big film festivals were part of the daily grunt work. At a film festival, especially an international one, deals are done for new films and international distribution agreements are also hammered out. Usually these deals are done in a more intricate game of swapping then the guy who traded up from a paperclip to a house.

Whenever there are deals to be done there are attorneys, managers, agents, and the people to make sure all the copies are done. I suppose it would be less expensive for a minimum wage college kid to do it, but if I did it, then you could charge somebody $400 an hour. Remember film accounting.

So a few years ago, I along with my fellow brethren were sitting in Cannes. Ahh, movie stars, photo calls and big hotels. Well when you think of me at Cannes you have to imagine two guys, and sometimes three in a room designed for one very small individual. Added to the fact that I'm 400 pounds and sweat profusely when there is no a/c and you can see why my peers weren't too thrilled to be sharing a room with me. Did I mention I have IBS? OK, I don't, but that would have added to their fun no doubt.

So anyway, there is going to be huge movie debuting at Cannes with lots of stars and one hugely popular director. Not as popular in the States, but you know those French. They love this guy. The director has been away scouting locations in Poland for an upcoming film but was due into Cannes three days previously. No one knows exactly where in Poland he is, and the powers that be are getting anxious. Very anxious. As in anxious that millions of dollars could be pissed away because the whacked out hack of a director can't be found. (Earlier in the week he was the creative visionary who was eccentric)

One star of the film who has worked with CR before has been summoned to try and find the director but either she (former A list actress and hottie) doesn't know or isn't saying. At this point someone remembers that said star and I have known each other for awhile and that maybe she will tell me what she won't reveal to anyone else. Yes, I know her, but one forced six hour plane ride years previously is not the same as coming over for some 400 pound loving. She doesn't know.




Then one night, the director's long time assistant calls and says that the director is holed up in Krakow and has fallen in love. He doesn't want to leave and has decided to stay there. So, because of my two degree of separation which doesn't even exist I am sent to Krakow to meet up with the assistant and get the director to Cannes.

Well getting from Cannes isn't that easy. Of course I don't get a private jet. What I get is a 3 connection flight from Nice that gets me into Krakow at 3am. What was nice early summer weather in Cannes is actually some freezing late spring weather in Krakow and the assistant doesn't meet me at the dinky (sorry Krakow) airport and so I'm forced to find a place to crash.

When I call the assistant the next morning he apologizes for not coming to pick me up, but had been thrown in jail the night before for getting into a fight at a bar. When he picks me up in the early afternoon the swollen lip and missing tooth are a nice touch.

So, as we make our way to the new home of CR, the assistant filled me in on what happened. It seems that the director went to a bar in Krakow which was designed basically to remove as much money from a patron's pocket as possible while getting the patron drunk. Topless bartenders and waitresses sit down with the patron and get them to buy $25 drinks which allows the patron to spend time with the topless worker. Our director doesn't speak any Polish and his worker didn't speak any English, but somehow the director was convinced they were in love. The fact that that the director dropped several thousand dollars in one night probably didn't hurt in his quest for her love either. It certainly isn't his ravishing good looks.

Well, we get to the tiny apartment and the first thing that assaults me is the smell of sweat and stale urine. I also see the new girlfriend tapping a vein in her arm in preparation for her visit to H land. Turns out she had used some of the CR windfall to go on a major H bender. I want to make it clear that I didn't see CR using H or have any reason to suspect he did or does. I will say that he was a mess though. He was always a frenetic, frantic person but was at this point in some type of lets say drunken haze.

I told him basically that people were worried about him and then in my legalese told him that he had certain obligations and responsibilities which he needed to fulfill in order to avoid any possible consequences in the future..blah blah blah. It was a bunch of crap, but thought I would give it a shot. He started blathering and I do mean blathering which was babbling and drooling and spitting as he spoke about his new vision for a Polish cinema and how he was inspired and a whole bunch of other crap which made no sense. He mentioned that his H shooting friend and he were going to get married and become a great team. His future wife didn't look like she was going to make it through the week, let alone be a part of this great film making team.

He said that no one he had spoken to was familiar with his work and that he wanted to start a film festival there to show his works and those of other similar directors. I don't know where he got all this from because sitting in that very tiny apartment was a medium size television with a DVD player and about 30 DVD's at least one of which was a film by him. This guy was in seriously bad shape and because I didn't know him and didn't know if this was normal behavior when he got wasted I didn't know if he was going to die on me or be perfectly sober in a few hours. His assistant said he hadn't seen CR like this before but thought it was because they had been drinking homemade vodka and not store bought. Whatever. I could already see that there were no drugs involved, and that it was going to be some bad vodka he ingested while scouting for his latest film. Well that's what the story would be if something got out.

The problem I faced was how to get him out. He wasn't going to go if I said we needed to go to Cannes and there was no way I could carry him and I still didn't know if he was too sick to travel or what. What I suggested was that we go out for food and let his girlfriend have some time for herself as I looked at her sitting in a chair with these absolutely vacant eyes.

CR looked at the girl and I guess decided he was hungry and so we helped him up and out of the apartment with all of us ignoring the lovely urine stain on CR's pants. When we got outside, I swear there has never been a breath I have enjoyed taking more. I can still remember it vividly.

CR was basically compliant and we walked down the street for a good ways until we came to the central square and found a place with some heat lamps and ate outside. At first CR wouldn't eat anything but as we stayed there for several hours, CR began to eat and to regain some of his regular traits. Basically the three of us sat there people watching for the entire time although the assistant and I would make comments about some of the people and eventually even CR joined in. He still blathered, but it was more babbling, then blather and I knew that if I could keep him away from his "girlfriend's" place that I could get him to Cannes.

We started talking about his film that was going to be at Cannes at I got him to talk about it and try and remember what he loved about it and how people loved him in France and just became a bigger kiss ass than Larry King could ever dream to be.

At some point, I went to find a phone. (Yes, no cell) I made a call to Cannes and it turns out they already had a jet ready and waiting for CR at Krakow airport to bring him to Cannes. I explained the situation and they said they would handle it once I got him on the plane. When I got back to the pair, I suggested a taxi ride to see the city and CR agreed and the next thing you know, we are at the dinky airport and he basically just let his assistant guide him to the plane. I actually freaked out at one point about CR's passport, but the assistant had it in the backpack he had been carrying and had never let go of even when he had been arrested the night before. He said the police never bothered to search it or take it from him.

So the two got on the plane, and I got to go back to LA with not even a thank you and not even in Business Class, the cheap bastards. The film went on to be one of the highest grossing films of the year.

Random Photos Part One

At the top of the photos today is the one and only Carole Bayer Sager. I love her. Yes, I love her even though she seems to be channeling some type of combination of Joan Collins and Elizabeth Taylor.
Blake Lively just because I think it has become some kind of obligation to show as many pictures as possible of people from Gossip Girl. Hey, I'm a sheep.
Chickenfoot - New York (aka everyone Eddie Van Halen has pissed off)
Carla Gugino looking amazing as usual.
"So, then I saw this unicorn and I tried to talk to it and I said to myself what if there was a movie about a magical forest with a princess and a unicorn and I of course would star in it and write it and direct it and produce it and make a million trillion dollars."
I love Emmanuelle Chriqui but it doesn't seem like she ever does anything except the odd episode of Entourage. Is that going to be her career?
Yeah, tell me how thrilled you would look if you had to keep scrawling out the name Gandolfini 100 times an hour.
One of the very few Friends episodes I would actually take the time to watch again was the one with Jill Goodacre. Harry Connick Jr and Jill have been together like 1,000 years in Hollywood time.
Justin Long cleans up pretty nicely when he wants to.
In Lisa Rinna's new book entitled Rinnavation I'm guessing that her entire theory of Rinnavation goes something like this. "Lip injections. Wait for the swelling to reduce. Repeat."
Marisa Tomei looks normal here. The bar must not have opened yet.
What I think Chad Kroger is saying is something like, "Yeah, I'm a big ass tool, but you keep buying my records and making me rich so suck it."
I'm going to go on record as saying Orlando Bloom is not a bad looking guy at all. A bit too Justin Timberlake-ish with the hair, but otherwise very nice.
Today must be Friday because even Rose McGowan looks good. Sure, there was that tragic accident where she cut off both her feet, but she looks good.
Robert Pattinson prepares for his post acting career as a Chippendales dancer.
Wow. Seriously, Sheila E looks incredible.
Scarlett J behind the scenes at an ad shoot.
And in the end, Garth got the chick. Party on Garth.

Your Turn

It is almost June and to me June means summer time and those absolutely perfect days. I remember getting out of school on that last day and thinking to myself how much free time lay ahead. It seemed like years. Now of course the bastards at the stores torture kids by putting back to school stuff on display right at the end of June. I mean come on, I know you need to make room for your Christmas stuff, but give everyone a little time to enjoy doing nothing. So, that brings me to today's topic. Perfect day. What would it be? What was it? You can describe what your perfect day would be like or you can do a Groundhog Day moment and tell everyone what was the day you would do again and again.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which former newscaster was so drunk at a recent fete that she could barely remember her own name, never mind what day it was?

Shanna Moakler & Michael Lohan Tied For Fame Whore Award

In one of the closest contests in years, Michael Lohan and Shanna Moakler are vying to see who can contribute the most worthless information to tabloids and yet still earn a living doing it. Earlier this week it looked as if Michael was going to run away with the competition. With Shanna no longer involved with the Miss California USA pageant and having nothing relevant to say about any topic she was desperate. So, she did what she has done so many times before. Much like when Michael pulls a Lindsay quote out of his hat, Shanna decided that she and Travis Barker are back together and told Star all about it for a little pocket money.

That's right. Just two weeks ago they were done. This was after Travis caught Shanna having sex with another guy. No matter though, now the couple is back together and according to Shanna they are stronger than ever before. I guess that is fancy speak for my boyfriend is out of town shooting a movie and so I might as well be with Travis.

"[We are] 100 per cent together. We are absolutely talking about one day renewing our vows. We love passionately, we fight passionately. That's just who we are."

Yeah, that's fine. I really don't care what you do at home and if the two of you are cheating on one another. What I do care about is that you are revealing your relationship day by day to the tabloids because no matter what you try and do you can never stay in the spotlight enough to make you happy. You had your reality show shot at fame and it sucked. No one wants to see you. You married and divorced well and that is pretty much your claim to fame. Yeah, yeah she was Miss USA or something, but no one knows the name of any Miss USA five minutes after they win unless they get involved in some kind of scandal. You could throw a parade of the past 50 years of them in front of me and I might recognize three names.

Some of Shanna's kids are old enough to read now I think. Umm, what do you think they would say if they read mommy and daddy are divorcing and now we are back together. I am confused as hell and I just read about it. I don't even want to guess how many times one or the other has probably left the house for a day or a week and nothing ever gets said. Probably because Shanna didn't need the money that week.

Katie Price Back Together With Her Sex Tape Star

In what I am sure Katie Price's spokespeople will call the coincidence of all coincidences, her ex-boyfriend Dane Bowers split with his wife of 18 months approximately two days before Peter Andre decided to call it quits with Katie. If you will recall, when Katie and Peter split, Peter said there was another man. Well, Katie's people then said there was a guy, but the gentleman in question was gay and that Peter was looking for a reason to leave. Uh huh. Well then perhaps Katie can explain what her ex boyfriend's car was doing smashed to pieces outside her home. Although Dane wasn't at the scene, he was arrested for DUI shortly thereafter. He now says his car was stolen and he doesn't know how it ended up outside Katie's house.

But because Katie and Dane didn't bother getting their stories straight first, Katie's people said the two were just having a lovely chat and had not spoken to each other for years except for that night. Uh huh. I think what we have here is Katie and Dane doing the dance between the sheets and were discovered. Don't think so? Here is a quote from Dane's soon to be ex-wife.

‘He is no longer in the marital home. I don’t have anything to say about Kate and Dane, except each to their own.’

Sounds to me like she is actually taking the high road in this to a point. I am good at reading between the lines and I think she knows exactly what is going on between the two. If she didn't she would have said so. Instead she said she didn't have anything to say about them. I wonder how many times she caught him watching the sex tape he made with Katie Price.

Archie Proposes To Veronica

Yes, comic books have never really been the subject of a post here unless you count Christina Aguilera's makeup. However, I think this one time something needs to be said about the fact that in the latest comic book, Archie has decided to propose to Veronica. What on earth is Archie thinking? There is no way this is going to work out well. This is going to be like every season of the Bachelor. Oh sure it starts out all nice and heart warming but the next thing you know they realize that Archie doesn't have enough money to afford the lifestyle of which Veronica is accustomed and she grows bitter and resentful and ends up sleeping with Reggie for money. Hey, that almost sounds like Kim Kardashian. Wow, comic books are like real life. No, I am sure Kim loves Reggie for Reggie.

Anyway, at some point Veronica will leave Archie and he will then see the true love of his life, Betty for all she is worth. But, by then Betty will be married and have kids and Archie will be forced to move in with Jughead and the two will decided to make ends meet by doing a very off Broadway version of The Odd Couple.

I don't know what the writers were thinking here. I mean it seems to me that Archie might be thinking of this through parts of his anatomy which are best left unsaid. This is a family comic book after all.

Gisele Bundchen Isn't Having A Baby?

I will be honest, I don't really pay very close attention to most of the pregnancy stories or engagement stories because most of them don't interest me and most of the time they are not true or the engagement ends after a day and so it all seems kind of like a waste of time. That being said, I am not a complete idiot and do read or at least skim most of the stories and I could have sworn, that Gisele or someone from her camp said she was pregnant. I know there were rumors but then I thought Kneepads or someone confirmed the whole thing.

Well, if she is pregnant it is news to her husband and most likely baby daddy Tom Brady. I mean she isn't cheating right? She didn't go to the Clay Aiken School of Impregnation Arts did she? After practice yesterday Tom was asked if Gisele was pregnant and he said, "No." Clear enough for you?

The thing is, he added another line shortly thereafter which is really kind of strange. He said, "One is enough." Have you ever read an interview with Gisele? She wants to give Octo-Mom a run for her money. Gisele wants a houseful of kids and Tom must know this and so him saying one is enough is either going to get him some serious couch time or he is just kidding around with everyone about the whole thing. If your wife is running around saying she wants ten kids he must have known this when he married her. So, unless he married her for her hotness. Oh. Oh. Yep. Couch time for Tom.

P.S. Tom Brady plays for the New England Patriots. Why on earth would he be wearing a Yankees cap? Even if he doesn't like the Red Sox, that seems like a big slap in the face.

Courtney Love Says She Is A Victim

You know all those ads you see everywhere for services that protect you against identity theft and watch your credit score and things in general just to make sure you are not the victim of a crime? Well, as much time as Courtney Love spends on the internet you would have thought she would have seen them. Apparently not, because Courtney is once again saying that people have been ripping her off for years and stealing all of her money and she didn't even know it.

In response to the suit American Express filed against her for $350,000 in unpaid charges, Courtney's lawyer says that none of the charges were from Courtney. Not the Spelling For Dummies book or the Xanax prescriptions. None of it. Instead it was the work of organized crime who managed to take out 104 AMEX cards all in Courtney's name or the name of one of her companies. Apparently this has been going on for years. Umm, then why didn't she say something to American Express years ago? Don't you think that when the first bills started coming in for cars and what not that you would look out your front door and say, "You know, I do a lot of drugs, but I really don't remember buying a Smart Car."

The thing is, Courtney said the same thing about six months ago and said that people had been stealing millions of dollars from her using her name and Kurt Cobain's name and so she was going to try and get it all back. Is she doing her own accounting? I'm pretty sure that unless her accountant is also her drug dealer, that they probably can identify a bunch of false charges.

On the other hand I wouldn't put it past Courtney to have 104 personalities and taken out a card in each name. I think she just doesn't want to admit she bought crap like what she is wearing in the picture.

This Is What Happened To Emily Longstreth

Last month I wrote a post entitled "Whatever Happened To Emily Longstreth. Well, you may have missed the fact that last week, someone responded in the comments who actually sounds like they know. Take it for what it is worth but it sounds fairly believable to me. Here is what she had to say. I edited certain portions of it, but you can always go to the post and read it verbatim. Oh, and I didn't correct the spelling.

I am the ex sister in law to Emily Lene Longstreth. I have a daughter with her only brother Eric Longstreth who lives in Las Vegas, with their mother. Emily lives in NYC in an apartment with some room mates. She has lived in homeless shelters for over 10 yrs. Her mother's name is Lene Wangmo ( she had her named changed when she converted to buddhism) Her born name is Helen Lenee Corn. She has two children Eric and Emily, Emily's father is John Longstreth He lives in Lake Forest, Ca. I just saw Her in October when Eric flew Her out for the month. She has changed a lot from Her twenties. Anyone who is that interested in Her, I know a lot about Her life and why she isn't able to act anymore. She was diagnosed w/ Bipolar and Paranoid Schephrenia at age 24 or 25. It's a tragedy. Ive only met her a few times because we live in Vegas. I can't stand my ex Eric.

Tori Spelling Killed Her Father

I had really thought that Candy and Tori Spelling had started to get things straight between the two of them. Obviously I was wrong. In an escalation of their feud to biblical proportions, Candy Spelling now says that Tori was the reason Aaron Spelling died. In an interview with Massachusetts radio station WMAS 94.7, Candy said, "My daughter one day decided that she wasn't speaking to my husband, myself and my son, and that's how it's continued for the last, oh gosh, four or five years. And it was sad, that's what killed my husband, actually. He just didn't want to live after that. He [had] just done everything he could possibly do for his daughter, and she wanted no part of him once he couldn't do anything for her."

So if I read this right Candy is saying that the only reason Tori even cared about her dad was when he could do things for her, pay her bills and get her roles. When he couldn't get her roles anymore because she can't act and he had used up all his favors, she stopped talking to him. Nice. You really don't find this level of family hatred outside of holiday gatherings. It just gives you a real warm and fuzzy feeling. I can't wait to see what happens when Tori takes her turn driving the bus.

Ted C Blind Item

No kinky homo lovin' in this week's Blind, either, folks, just some straight-up hetero debauchery! Does that make you happy or sad? Relieved, regardless, I'm sure. Anyways, guess all the gays were too busy protesting this week (or hiding indoors lest they come across as too sympathetic to the cause—we know we didn't see Toothy out and about holding a sign in WeHo!). So, that leaves us with Dominique (Dommy) Do-Rightly, rising star.

See, Dom's a ton more popular on the small screen than on the big one—tho for some silly reason she keeps desperately trying to make the film thing work. But Dommy's still managed to rack up a ridiculous amount of fans, all who think she's just so über-cute and cuddly, like a posh stuffed teddy bear.

But would they still fawn over her so much if they knew their darling 'n' wholesome girl's one freaky wild party animal? We know we'd like her a whole lot more if she just fessed up to it!

Ms. Do-Rightly likes the public to think she's all about goin' organic, living healthy, saving the world and being an all-around sweetie-pie. Make me puke right now. Ugh.

I never bought that faux persona on this stink-eyed star, but I'm used to celebs totally lying about who they are! Those who know Dommy personally can't stand how stuck-up the bitchy babe is. She often refuses to promote her latest flicks as much as she's told, leaving all the legwork to her second billed, bitter costars.

No one can friggin' put up with the diva's demands anymore—that is, of course, except other divas! DDR is spending more and more time with skanky H'wood regulars—privately, at house parties, since public outings together would be oh so disastrous to Dom's clean-cut image.

At one such recent drug-infested fete, DDR boozed-and-bashed till all hours of the morning, blasting party energy up her nose and wrapping her legs, tongues, what have ya around dudes left and right, using the hostess's totally expensive living room couch to show off her moves (not like that sofa hasn't been tarnished enough with party germs already). And this was milliseconds after splitting with her last famous man! Guess that explains who did the dumping in that doomed relaysh.

Hey, got an idea! Maybe Dommy oughta bring her slutty ways out of hiding—look how much press Paris gets! And she gets whole damn perfume lines, too! What does Dommy have? A few politically correct endorsements here and there—and we sure know that ain't enough headline attention for a naughty nose-candy princess like DDR!

And It Ain't: Amber Tamblyn(damn right it ain't Amber), Blake Lively, Miley Cyrus

Today's Blind Items - 80's & 90's Vintage

So, for today I thought we would shoot back in time just a little. Not going to go back to Old Hollywood. We are just going back to those carefree days of the late 80's and early 90's. This A list female entertainer has had an amazing life. She has done just about everything possible in the entertainment world and is one of the most influential entertainers ever. Back in the day, our A lister had just gone through a very messy divorce. But, our actress had needs and loved, loved trolling the Lower East Side of Manhattan for Hispanic guys in her chauffeured driven limo. On one of her forays she found a 17 year old Hispanic guy and took him back to her place where she kept him for a few days until she grew tired of him. Well, it turns out that she gave this teenage boy the gift that keeps on giving. The Herp. Yep. Well, a few months later, our A lister was trolling the same neighborhood and people from the teenager's family recognized the car and before anyone could do anything all of his family pelted her car with trash from their garbage cans. Seems appropriate.

A Camp Visits Canada And Wants You To Attend

A Camp is going to be in three different cities in Canada over the next ten days and they want two CDAN readers to be there. If you have never heard of this group, you need to. The singer is Nina from The Cardigans and is just as catchy and just as intriguing. The song below called "I Can Buy You," is one of my favorites from the group and it is worth three minutes of your time.

Anyway, this is going to be a very quick contest. You have to let me know by midnight tonight Pacific time if you are interested in going to one of the shows.

May 31st Montreal Club Lambi
June 1 Toronto - Mod Club
June. 10 Richard's on Richards - Vancouver

Send an e-mail to ent.lawyer@yahoo.com and tell me the city in which you are interested in seeing them perform. The great thing is you find out tomorrow if you won. No waiting!!

Random Photos Part One

Remember, beginning on Monday I will be posting your photos that you e-mail me in the Random Photos so I hope you will keep e-mailing me and also read the post to see who is reading the site. That makes sense right?


This was a very close call as to who deserved to be on top today. In the end though I went with one of the funniest men of all time who was married to one of the funniest women of all time. Gene Wilder gets the top spot today promoting his latest book.
Coming in a very close second were Paul Simon and Willie Nelson. Their downfall was that I didn't really enjoy their contest between tie and pony tail as to which was longer. Apparently Paul may have a problem with shaking and so this hides the evidence if you know what I mean.
I really don't have the time to devote to the wonder that is this great story. However, Gawker and New Jersey Online have done a tremendous job of investigating Danielle Staub from Real Housewives of New Jersey and her criminal past. I also think that Bravo knows exactly what when on in her past because they were prepared for the questions and their spokesperson even said, "Watch what happens." For those of you not in the US, that is Bravo's slogan. I'm sure someone can provide links in the comments. It is incredible.
The first time Bebe Neuwirth has been in the photos since she got married. Congratulations Bebe!
This whole engagement thing must really be a good thing for Claire Danes because I would say she smiles most of the time now. It is going to cease being a topic of discussion.
Cris Judd, Peter Andre and a bunch of half naked men who appear to work out frequently.
This is some love. The Hoffmans are one of my favorite couples.
This is Fergie getting off a plane. I think she looks fine and this is how she should act and dress. She actually looks good and normal and not trying to be someone she isn't anymore.
A first time appearance for Jane Pauley.
Adam Lambert and Kris Allen at The Today Show.
Kate Walsh doesn't seem to be letting her divorce get in the way of umm, her smile? I just really don't like her. I think he soon to be ex is a tool also, but Kate should just be true to herself.
The very lovely Mary J Blige. I always feel the site has a bit more class when Mary J is present.
While most celebrities went and saw the Lakers game in person, Nick Lachey and Vannesa Lemon Jello decided to go with the less costly version. They watched it at a sports bar and used coupons.
I think Robin McGraw is the wife of the year every year. I wonder if he just talks and talks and talks and talks when they are at home.
The Queen with a new hair style.
Oh God. Ron White with a new hair style. I think he needs to get his money back on that wig.
Reese Witherspoon has been training for this softball movie for two months. At this point I think she will be the best player out there. She is certainly determined.
And at the end of the date, SpongeBob decides to go for third base with Zoe Salmon.
Sheryl Crow by herself is incredible.
Sheryl Crow with Grover is even better. Oh and the other Sesame Street characters also, but really, Grover is the best.
Want to know how Twiggy Ramirez doesn't look scary? He stands next to Marilyn Manson.
Is that really a Members Only jacket on Zac Efron? Seriously? Are the 80's really back? Didn't they burn them all?

Prescription Meds Are Pricey - Courtney Love Sued

Apparently prescription medicines are more expensive than I thought. Either that or Courtney Love has some truly awful insurance. American Express is suing Courtney because Courtney refuses to pay them for the more than $350,000 in charges she has racked up. They have revoked her gold card. Uh oh? She didn't have a Black Card? Well, I guess we know why. I mean if she can't even pay off a lousy $350K then there is no way she should have a Black Card.

How in the hell does Courtney spend $350K? She dresses like crap. She stays in all the time rambling on her various blogs and sites and when she does travel somewhere it is usually on the dime of someone else. That only leaves meds. I know, I know there is probably more to it than that, but $350K is a lot of shopping. I wonder how long they let it go before they stopped her from using the card. If one of us were a day or two late they would cut us off, but I bet someone somewhere at AMEX didn't want to be the subject of one of her rants and therefore let it go as long as possible. I wonder where she finally got declined. I'm guessing at 7-11 when she tried to buy a carton of cigarettes.

I don't know where she spends all her money. She sold a huge portion of Nirvana's catalog and got a ton of money from that, but failed to pay the $1M to the firm who negotiated the sale. She says that people have been stealing from her, but I think she has a bunch of different names she calls herself and they have been stealing.

Ben Widdicombe Blind Item

Which skinny NYC model busted on a night out with a bag of white powder in her purse, who claimed it was baking soda, was actually telling the truth? The bulimic girls believe that rinsing with it after vomiting neutralizes the effects of the stomach acid on their teeth.

Chris Brown Case Will Settle By June 22nd

I am guessing that sometime between now and June 22, Chris Brown and the district attorney's office will come to some kind of deal. The reason? Rihanna's attorney said that Rihanna has been subpoenaed to show up and testify at the preliminary hearing of Chris Brown scheduled for that day.

That means Rihanna will get on the stand and start spreading the news. It is one thing to hear rumors and to see the picture of Rihanna, but when she starts talking, things are going to go really bad for Chris Brown really, really quickly. It will be a news media frenzy and there is no way it will ever turn into a positive for Chris Brown. It won't even matter what happens at a trial or if there is a trial because people will remember what Rihanna says at that hearing.

All the hearing is supposed to do is to see if there is enough evidence to take the case to trial. It is a very low burden for the prosecutor and having Rihanna testify about what happens will see that it goes to trial. Chris Brown and company do not want that June 22nd date to go forward. At this point he would probably even plead to jail time because at least them her testimony will not ever occur and no one will ever know exactly what happened. We will have a great idea, but we won't ever know for sure.

Nicollette Sheridan's Boyfriend Convicted Of Receiving Stolen Property

Apparently Michael Bolton didn't have enough of an edge about him for Nicollette Sheridan. OK, lets face it. Any human being alive probably has more edge to them than Michael Bolton, but still, this is definitely going to the opposite extreme. It seems that Nicollette's new boyfriend plead no contest to buying stolen horses back in 2000. Four horses were stolen from a ranch in California and her boyfriend Steven Pate bought the horses knowing they were stolen.

When a reward was offered by the rightful owners of the horses, Steven came forward and said he had information about the horses but wanted the $10,000 reward. Instead he got arrested and charged with five felonies including Grand Theft Animal. Uh oh. That plan didn't work out did it.

Steven plead no contest and was sentenced to jail. After completing his jail term and probation, the felonies were reduced to misdemeanors. Nicollette of course has to spin this the best way she can. I'm surprised she didn't dump the guy, but maybe she is waiting until they buy a house together or something and then try and keep it. Anyway, her spokesperson said, "Steven didn't know the horses were stolen when he received them, and was the person who brought the information to attention of the authorities."

Uh huh. Then why did he plead no contest and go to jail?

Even For Sharon Stone This Is Priceless

Sharon Stone is not exactly known for being suave. In my opinion she is basically a hack who got lucky with Basic Instinct and managed to turn it into a career. This week at a hotel that was opening in Turkey, Sharon along with other guest were paid $1.5M just to show up and either sing(Mariah Carey) or talk(Sharon Stone). In other cases stars were just paid to be there. All of them got the same amount, but if I am an investor in this hotel I am wondering who in the hell invited Sharon Stone and why I paid that amount. Not too long ago she insulted everyone in China and now she has insulted the country of Azerbaijan.

Azerbaijan and Turkey are very close. They are often called one nation and the relationship between the two countries is very strong. Apparently though Sharon didn't know or didn't care and so decided to insult them during her speech. Maybe she thought it was a roast and not the grand opening of a hotel. In her speech she said, "Azerbaijan? What is that? I can't pronounce this! Chaka Khan! Chaka Khan!"

Seriously? For $1.5M this is what the owners of the hotel got? They got some ridiculous American who is only famous for spreading her legs in a movie to insult their closest ally and potential guests of their new hotel. I don't know how Sharon is ever going to spin this and I think she should just go away from all our lives forever.

More Words From Danny Boyle

I cannot believe I am about to type these words but I agree with Rafiq Quereshi. That is the man who tried to sell his daughter Rubina Ali to reporters posing as parents. Anyway, Danny Boyle gave some kind of news conference yesterday where he blathered on and on about all of the wonderful things the trust is doing for the kids and that $100,000 will be spent on housing the kids and that Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail who lost his house also was about to move into a house that had been secured for him. I just don't understand. Danny Boyle didn't have any obligation to these kids. He didn't. BUT, as soon as he opened his mouth about what they were going to do for the kids and their futures and their housing he then did become responsible and he is going to be called to task for screwing around. Azharuddin has been homeless since his shanty was torn down several weeks ago. His family was living beneath pieces of plastic. For two weeks? Why the f**k didn't Danny Boyle put the family in a hotel until he secured a house for them? Why? Because he doesn't care and probably wishes he had never made these promises in the first place. Right now they are empty promises.

He said they secured housing for Azharuddin but he hasn't moved in and is still homeless. As for Rubina's plight? They are still looking for suitable housing. Excuse me? You made many many millions upon millions of dollars and I find it very hard to believe you can't find a house. Are you being cheap about this? At this point I would think Danny would want all of this to go away and just pay whatever it takes. Instead it is just talk. Rubina's dad said, "It has been five to six months," he said. "Everything is available in Mumbai if you have the money. If you really want to get us a house, you can get us a house in two days." Like I said, I can't believe it, but I am agreeing with a man who tried to sell his daughter.

Oh, and you want the kicker? Danny wants to shoot two more movies in Mumbai. Hopefully he won't exploit more kids.

Dave Gahan Had Cancer Surgery

Do you remember a few weeks ago when Dave Gahan was supposed to perform a concert with Depeche Mode and was rushed to a hospital in Georgia? At the time everyone said it was just stomach problems and nothing serious. Why would we think otherwise, and so no one really followed up on it or why he was there or if he ever checked himself out. I mean this is Depeche Mode. No offense, but paps would have staked out hospitals and bribed people for lesser known worthy groups or singers. This is Dave Gahan.

Anyway, no word at all, and then the band released a statement on their website just announcing why they had to reschedule concerts and cancel others. It turns out that while Dave was in the hospital for stomach problems they discovered a malignant tumor in his bladder. What?

"While in hospital, further medical tests revealed a low-grade malignant tumour in Dave's bladder, which has since been successfully removed. At doctors' orders, Dave Gahan must take a break until June 8 to ensure that he makes a full recovery.

"Dave Gahan sincerely thanks his fans for their support, understanding and patience. Depeche Mode deeply regret any problems or inconveniences the cancellations and postponements may have caused."

Umm, he is taking off just until June 8th? Take all the time you want Dave. Can you imagine if this was someone more pap famous rather than just a talented guy part of a group that has sold millions upon millions of records? First of all we would have had hourly reports and there would have been crawlers on the bottom of the 24 hour news channels. There would be a People Magazine cover story about how he cheated death and his plans for the future. And, they would have canceled the entire tour. You have to love a guy who is going through what must have been a scary past few weeks and he is worried about his fans and apologizing to them for missing shows because he had cancer surgery. Absolutely amazing.

Tom Sizemore Busted Again

When we last saw Tom Sizemore he was being investigated for robbing a Verizon wireless store back in March. Besides allegedly stealing multiple cell phones he also decided to really go for the bucks and steal a highlighter and some pens also. Well, you know they do have big resale value on the street.

Anyway, last night around midnight, police were called to investigate a domestic violence matter. Well, you know Tom and domestic violence. This time though it appears he was not involved in beating anyone and just "happened" to be near the action. So near in fact that the cops ran his name through the computer and discovered that Tom had an outstanding warrant for his arrest due to a drug arrest in Bakersfield. Apparently Tom didn't show up for a court date or follow his program or just doesn't care. Tom was with a friend who was also arrested for drug possession.

You remember when Tom Sizemore had a career? He was going places. Now the only place he is going is an early death or some very long stretches of prison time.

Freddie Prinze Has A Job - Gets To Leave The House

Freddie Prinze has found himself a job, and not just any job. He is going to be on 24 next season as a character that runs CTU Field Ops and wants to be just like Jack Bauer. You know what this means? Yeah, I know Freddie gets to leave the house and can help provide for his new baby and not have to listen to Sarah Michelle Gellar say she does everything and why doesn't Freddie do something besides Scooby Doo movies. To this day I'm still shocked they managed to have sex and a baby. She was probably yelling at him the whole time.

Anyway, I am wondering if this might not be a way of slowly getting rid of Kiefer Sutherland. You have Freddie who will be on for the entire season next year and wants to be like Jack and the next thing you know Jack gets killed because Kiefer spends a year in jail. You have to be prepared and I think this is what they are doing. The audience will know Freddie and maybe this can be a series like Law & Order where they can keep shuttling in actors to play the lead roles.

Anyway, I heard that SMG was so excited for Freddie getting a job that she let him go to the store yesterday all by himself.

Susan Boyle Cracks Under The Pressure

Have you ever wondered what it would be like for you to go from nothing to super stardom in a matter of hours? Well, you probably have wondered about it, but it rarely happens that way. Usually fame takes some time to build, but not with Susan Boyle. From within a few hours of her appearance on Britain's Got Talent she was all over the world and everyone knew her story. Interviews, newspapers, television and Oprah followed. But in between she got to back to her home in Scotland. Not now. With the finals of the show being this weekend, Susan along with the other finalists have been in a hotel in London and surrounded by tourists and media and people just waiting to see her slip.

Well, they got their chance. Apparently during the airing of the show over the weekend, Susan was sitting in the hotel bar and watched one of the judges compliment a singer by calling them the best they had seen so far. Boyle got a little pissed and "was overheard yelling f**k off before making an obscene gesture at the screen and storming off."

Then yesterday when some journalists tried to ask her some questions she lost control again and said, "How f**king dare you! You can't f**king talk to me like that." When police intervened and asked if there was a problem she said, "Of course, there's a f**king problem."

Yeah, it wasn't like she was alone either. She had her family and people from the television show with her both times. It makes you think how you would react if put in the same situation under similar circumstances. It does sound as if she wins the show and attempts some sort of singing career that she will really need to work on her people skills and also I wonder if she might be turning into just a bit of a diva. I don't blame her. I mean the world has been kissing her ass for a month, and I'm sure most of us would act like divas as well if that were the case.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which Great White Way star tries to rock girls he's crushing on by sending them X-rated photos of himself?

Today's Blind Items

I was going to call this a jackass post, but in reality it is just typical celebrity behavior and so although jackass-ish, probably not full on qualifying for it. You decide. This movie actress is B list for sure. All of you know who she is. Mainstream popcorn movie leads and art house leads as well. I would say our married mother has A list name recognition. Anyway, our actress bought a hat. Not some cheap Avril Lavigne looking trucker hat, but a hat which actually costs money. Serious money. I think we should all be shocked that she actually paid for the hat in the first place. Well, for three months straight she wore that hat everywhere she went. Then after three months she went to the store and told them she didn't like it and wanted a full refund of her money. This was even though it had makeup on it, had her hair plastered in it and was obviously well worn. Even though the designer of the hats would have loved her endorsement he told her to take a hike. Nice.

Random Photos Part One

Yesterday I started asking everyone to e-mail me their photos for reader photos and I have received lots and lots. I will start posting them on Monday in the order in which I received them. Then, on July 4, they will all be posted into one big halftime post during reveal day. So, keep sending them.


This is Stefanie Zaner. Why is she on the top of the photos? Because Stefanie didn't miss one second of school between Kindergarten and her high school graduation. Once you reach a certain age it just takes a certain dedication to pull it off, but when you are in elementary school how do you go six years without ever catching a cold or getting injured or having your parents take you somewhere on a three day weekend? It is amazing, and definitely worth the top spot.
So, work with me on this one. This is Cameron Diaz but do you think if I had said Ashley Olsen in 15 years I would be wrong?
See, when you are Danish Princes firefighters will do cool things for you like set stuff on fire and let you put it out. You don't need to play with fire trucks and pretend when you can go out and do the same thing for real. Am I jealous? Hell yeah I'm jealous. When I was 7 I would have loved that. I'm sure the other kids at school are real happy they were invited. Oh, they weren't? Ass kicking time.
Do you remember about 10 years ago, you couldn't turn on the television without seeing Dionne Warwick and her damn psychic hotline. She looks good here.
I know I am about to show my ignorance, but what does Hilary Duff have around her neck? Is it a blanket for her cat? It can't be a scarf can it? The thing looks like it weighs 10 pounds. It's like a snuggie scarf or something.
Hugh Jackman finally made the Mexico City premiere. It was great of him to keep his promise.
Jennifer Lopez on the set of her new movie. Aww, seriously? Who gave her money to act? Come on people. I have never ever heard someone say, "Oh, I can't wait to go see the new Jennifer Lopez movie." Not once. Oh, except for Anaconda but they thought they might get lucky and see her get killed.
Doesn't exactly invoke Daniel Craig coming out of the water in his blue trunks does it? Oh, and so you know this was in Arizona in a very warm lake, so shrinkage should have been to a minimum.
Joan Rivers looks in a mirror.
Somehow Lady Gaga got a Rolling Stone cover.
And Melissa Joan Hart lost 42 pounds. How much of that was baby weight though? I'm shocked she managed to push Mel Gibson off the cover. I know Melissa said she had a deal with People, but I'm really surprised she didn't get pushed back a week.
Mandy Moore - Los Angeles (in probably the greatest record store that exists on the planet)
Nicolas Cage on the set of his movie. See the caption for Jennifer Lopez's photo but substitute Leaving Las Vegas for Anaconda.
Nelly Furtado is back.
Nicole Richie at Larry King right before she was bumped to tonight from last night.
Say what you will about Peaches Geldof. She seems to be growing up a little. Plus, this company Ultimo is paying her a ton of money to promote their products and she showed up, looks good and if I am the company I am happy.
The Bangles - New York
I don't know who Victor Gonzalez is but Uncle Jesse called and wants his jacket back. No? How about Crockett or Tubbs?

Ben Widdicombe Blind Item

Which notorious British druggie model who failed to attend an international photo shoot earlier this month cited "fear of swine flu" as her reason for not getting on the plane? In fact she was bundled off for a few days of emergency detox.

Another Reason To Not Like Katy Perry

I know you probably didn't need any additional reasons to not like Katy Perry, but I found you one in case you were on the fence about her or something. I mean, I know lots of you are humming her songs when they come on the radio, but it doesn't mean that you actually like her her. Well now, you can close your eyes and imagine Katy Perry and John Mayer having sex. Oh they haven't yet, but as soon as he hears about an interview she gave on Australian radio I am sure he will be giving her a call and saying, "how you doing?"

A station in Australia plays a game called "Shoot, Shag Or Marry." A celebrity is given a name and then you have to decide whether you would, yeah, I think you got it. If this were Perez I would have to go slower and explain it all word for word including what shag means, but I have a much more intelligent crowd.

Anyway, one of the people Katy was quizzed about was John Mayer.

"I couldn't marry John Mayer, it'd be so intense. I'd definitely shag the sh*t out of him though. I'll go on record saying that."

Why would it be intense to be married to him? I think any arguments they would have would be who looks better in the mirror that day and who could wear or say the most outrageous thing to get attention.

Expect the John and Katy rumors to start soon. Oh, and the whole thing about her getting back together with Travis from Gym Class Heroes. She will dump him again just like last time.

Stay Classy San Diego - Anchorman 2 Is On The Way

Someone in Australia was smart enough to corner Will Ferrell at the premiere of his new movie Land Of The Lost and ask him about the possibility of an Anchorman 2. Well, for those of you who enjoyed that movie, Will says there will indeed be an Anchorman 2.

"Yeah we're trying to figure out when and how we should do that. In fact, I think next week we're going to meet with all the guys and see if we can actually pull this off."

Will ideally would like all of the original cast back in the sequel including Steve Carrell and Paul Rudd. "Because especially with Steve and Paul, they're in different places with their careers it's a lot harder to get us all together." That said, he thinks he can pull it off and the thought of them all getting together next week to talk about it sure starts getting me excited. Yes, I know Hollywood needs to come up with original ideas, but I am perfectly fine with franchises like this. Are you going to turn down another James Bond movie with Daniel Craig or the Wolverine sequel with Hugh Jackman just because it is not a brand new idea? Hell no. So, let me have my Anchorman 2.

Winona Ryder Knows How To Give An Interview

I have always been on the fence with Winona Ryder. If it is the right role she can absolutely be an incredible actress, but at the same time I think she phones in a lot of roles as well and then she will do or say something and I will be off her bandwagon. Right now I am back on her bandwagon and may even watch Heathers tonight. She gave an interview to Elle this month, and for once I really can't find anything bad to say about any of her quotes that I have read. She seems to have her act together. I also didn't realize she was 37, and so maybe that has something to do with having her act together. Although, in Hollywood, age doesn't always equal maturity. Hello Pamela Anderson.

She talks about her breakup with Johnny Depp when she was 19.

"I had just done Dracula and Edward Scissorhands. I had just had my first real break-up, the first heartbreak. And I think it was really ironic because, like, everybody else just thought I had everything in the world, you know, I had no reason to be depressed, everything was sort of at its peak, but inside I was completely lost. I remember feeling, 'I can't complain about anything, because I'm so lucky, I'm so lucky.' After that I realized I needed to take time off more [regularly]."

She was 19 and thought she was going to be with someone forever and was at the top of the world, and then wham. I mean she was 19 and I know this interview is looking at things in retrospect, but it seems very open and honest. I like how Elle got the director of her new movie to do the interview. I think because she had that trust with the director, she gave a better interview than she would have with a reporter.

She also says very nice things about Kate Winslet so that gains some serious points in my book.

"During the Oscars, I was thinking about how she totally has that thing, she has her family and children and life and she seems really together and solid – and yet she can completely devastate you on the screen."

I'm not even going to complain about Elle putting an actress on the cover instead of a model. Wow, I must be drunk.

Chris Brown Ain't A Monster And You Can Believe That

Chris Brown took some time out from bowling and practicing his swing to let the world know that he has a new album coming out soon and a new single this summer and that if we hate him then we can hate him but to his true fans he loves them. Uh huh. Then he tells the world he ain't a monster and his friend chimes in and agrees. That pretty much covers the entire 37 seconds of the video. I had heard about the video and thought it was going to change my life, but no so much.

I am interested to see how his new album does and if people just won't care or if they will boycott it. For some reason I think it is going to do very well. I think people have already moved on to other things. I won't ever buy anything of his ever again, but I realize I am just one person with one mind and everyone has their own views about what they will or what not do. That is one thing about boycotts. I think people should be able to make up their own minds about things and boycotts sometimes make me feel guilty if I don't do something. Do what you want to do and don't let anyone talk you into doing something for which you don't feel comfortable. If you want to buy the Chris Brown record or you like his new single, I am not going to judge you. I have my opinion and you have yours. It would be a pretty damn boring place if everyone just agreed on every little thing.

That being said, I would have to say that Chris Brown is a monster and he must have not look at the pictures of what he did to Rihanna. I really would like to hear how he would describe himself.

Someone Will Get Fired For This

To all executives who have heard Joe Simpson come in an pitch the new reality series for his daughter Jessica Simpson. It is not to late to save your jobs. Once you pick up the series, then unfortunately you will soon be looking for a new job and you will always be known around town as the person who gave the green light to a show where Jessica Simpson would be hosting and starring in a show. Don't worry. In-N-Out pays well for fast food and they promote from within.

Apparently Jessica Simpson's people (read daddy with the wandering eye), have been going around to networks pitching them a show which actually sounds like a good idea. Congratulations Joe. You thought of a good idea, but you need to bite the bullet and realize you will screw it up if you pitch your daughter to host it.

The show is called Price Of Beauty and would be about what women do all over the world to stay beautiful and how beauty is treated in different countries. The host would find some outrageous damn beauty treatment in that country and do it. Jessica Simpson is not the right person for this. She has no hosting skills and would seek out the tamest possible beauty treatment she could find. Dirty Jobs would not work if Mike Rowe was sweeping up grass clippings in front yards. It works because people want to see him try the most disgusting jobs there are. Plus he has years and years of hosting experience.

Jessica Simpson would ruin a potentially great idea. Our own Adrianna Costa would be very good at it. Brooke Burke might be still good for it. Jessica Simpson would not be good. Give her a bone Joe and let her sing the title song.

Kanye West Hates Books - Wants You To Buy His

Do you remember this quote from Kanye West? "Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book's autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books."

So, even though his mother was a university English professor, Kanye hates books. OK. He can even pretend to use really bad grammar above even though I assure you his mom would have beat the living crap out of him if he spoken like that in front of her. Some people don't like books. I understand. Generally however, those people don't make public statements that are read by millions of kids and then have that same person come and try and sell us a f**king book.

If you hate books so damn much then when in the efff are you selling books to people? If you are not a fan of books why did you write a book? If you are a proud non-reader of books, did you in face ever read this book you are selling?

In case you have not figured it out from my rant yet, Kanye has a new book out entitled, "Thank You And You're Welcome." Just 52 pages long but retailing at probably $45, Kanye is just trying to find new ways to separate the public from their wallets and to give all their money to Kanye.

According to Reuters the book "has 52 pages -- some blank, others with just a few words -- and offers his optimistic philosophy on life. One two-page section reads, "Life is 5% what happens and 95% how you react!" Another page reads "I hate the word hate!"

Really sounds like people are going to get their money's worth. Thanks Kanye, And You're Welcome. I guess there won't be any book readings by Kanye of his new work? Oh, in case you were wondering. The guy above in the picture with Kanye? That is the co-author of the book. 52 pages most blank, and he needed help.

Daniel Craig & Hugh Jackman Together LIve

How do you get scores of people to pay big bucks and show up to a theatre on Broadway and not even care what the plot of the show is about or if it makes any sense? You have that play star Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig. According to the NY Post, the two will team up this fall as Chicago cops who blah, blah, blah. You aren't even paying attention at this point. You are just waiting for me to name the play so you can start planning your fall vacation to New York now. I know, I know. I wonder if the people who prefer Daniel over Hugh and vice versa will all be able to get along. Can the two sides come together in some kind of harmonic convergence and celebrate the hunky manliness of both men? It will be the fall and close to the holidays. I think if Team Daniel and Team Hugh came together for the holidays and wore shirts with one on the back and one on the front that would set an example for leaders all over the world to work on world peace.

The name of the play is, "A Steady Rain." No, not "Chubby Rain." That is something entirely different. This will be James Bond and Wolverine wearing police uniforms. Oh, I lost you again. OK, go make your plans.

Diane Lane Gets Played By Josh Brolin

It's hard to believe one of the Goonies could do this, but according to In Touch, Josh Brolin has been spending time at night with a woman. They wouldn't come right out and say he was cheating on Diane, because, hey, no one knows for sure what went on up in Josh's hotel room from 11pm to 7am or why she did the walk of shame out of the hotel the next morning. It could have been something as simple as she had too much to drink and Josh let her use one of his beds. It's possible right? I know, I know. It's New Orleans. He is away from his wife and he had such good luck in New Orleans last time he was in the city that he decided to go ahead and have sex with a stranger. Last time he got busted in that bar fight and this time he got busted by a pap. New Orleans is not going to be on the top of Josh's favorite cities in the future.

The woman with whom Josh spent the night is named Melissa Green. We don't know much about her now, but give the tabloids about 48 hours and we will know everything. Meanwhile, I think we all know that Diane is way too good for Josh. This is not the first time or the second time or even the third time something like this has happened. I just don't think anything will happen between them divorce wise or anything. I think they have been through too much together and so she won't quit. Just a guess. I have been wrong before.

Michael Lohan Is A Deadbeat Dead And So Much More

You really only find this kind of craziness in the Lohan family. It doesn't seem to matter if it is mom or dad or the kids, they are chock full of something and it isn't like the rest of us. Somehow Michael Lohan managed to get himself arrested last month and no one knew about it. Mr. Publicity who always has an opinion about Lindsay or Dina or Ali so he can see himself in the news, but when he gets arrested, it's shhh, don't wake the neighbors. Well, someone finally figured it out and Michael went to a court hearing yesterday and found the NY Post waiting. Why was Michael in court? Because he had allegedly threatened to kill his girlfriend and himself if she left him. She called the cops and he was arrested.

They did show up arm in arm to the hearing yesterday, but when they saw the reporters, Michael's attorney shouted, "Run Michael Run." Eventually the braces fell off and Michael and his idiot girlfriend made it to his car and hid. I call her an idiot, because honestly, can you think of a better term for someone who knowingly wants to marry Michael Lohan and still wants to marry him after he allegedly threatened to kill her. If you think of a better word, let me know.

Oh, and Michael is due back in court today. It seems despite his fame and fortune he owes $12,000 in back child support. The judge would like him to explain why it hasn't been paid. I think it is because his Right Said Fred tribute band has not quite taken off the way he thought it would.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which actor enters plus and minus signs into his cell phone's address book to keep track of the ladies who merit being part of his entourage - and those who don't?

Today's Blind Items

B- list movie and television actor. HUGE summer movie, and a very popular network drama. He hasn't really come out publicly, but he doesn't exactly hide it either. This isn't a post about his sexuality so much as it is about his sexual habits. It seems that our actor is very insecure about his manhood. So much so that during the entire time he is having sex he keeps asking his partner,"what do you think of my d**k?" "Tell me you like it." The guy will not shut up about it. Needless to say, despite his resume and money he doesn't get many repeat partners. Have some confidence. You are a movie star and television star and get pretty much your pick of partners. All you are doing by asking is making whatever you don't have, worse.

Random Photos Part One

It is that time of the year again. We are just about five weeks away from reveal day and as has been the custom the past couple of times, I would invite you to send in your photos so I can include them in the random photos over the next month. In addition of course they all get included in one massive picture post right in the middle of reveals day. So if you have never sent in a photo, then now is your chance. If you have changed over the past six months or a year, then everyone would like to see you again also. Now, on with today's photos.

And that concludes Angelina Jolie's eating for the day. On Saturdays, she splurges and actually puts the fork in her mouth.
I have decided Avril Lavigne continues to dress like this because absolutely no one would recognize her if she didn't.
Camilla Parker Bowles shooting the long lost pilot episode of Survivorman. She really wanted that role.
A first time appearance for Christoph Waltz who won best actor at Cannes for his performance in Inglorious Basterds. He must have been really, really good because the movie sucks.
And Guy Ritchie does a breath check with a willing friend.
So, Halle Berry was supposed to shave off all her hair for a movie role. This is certainly much shorter than it was, but not all. I'm wondering if maybe they are shooting a scene where it has grown back and then she will shave it all off. Good looking family.
You know it just kills Holly Madison inside that Kendra Wilkinson got engaged before she did.


Recognize the look on Kate Winslet's face? It is the look of a mother who is running late and has not had anything go right all day. I have no idea why this is coming out all underlined but it doesn't link to anywhere, so don't bother clicking.
This is actress Maribel Verda. She won Olay's Woman Of The Year. It was awarded to her in Spain. My question is this. Olay didn't say it was only for Spain, and they didn't say she was one of the Women of The Year. They said she was the Woman Of The Year. So, when Olay tries to give away these awards to other women in the rest of the world we will all know it is just a big scam to get publicity.
Congratulations Meg White!! You married Jackson Smith which sounds like the name of a brokerage firm.
Robert Pattinson in Italy. I could go for some pasta right now. Some pizza on the side.
I don't want to be rude. I'm not trying to be. It just is that everytime I see Shawn Johnson it makes me think of Joe Dirt when he was a little kid. I don't know if it is the wig she is wearing or the fact she got the mullet version. Oh, wait, it's not a wig? Ohhhh. Well, now I feel bad.
Shia LaBeouf has gone from valet driver to serial killer. When they release those still pictures from bank robberies this is exactly what the robber looks like.
Also in Italy and hopefully not in New Moon is Eva Longoria.
Who knew Tori Spelling was such a Saturday Night Fever fan.
And Will Ferrell got the dinosaur to fall asleep.

Cheat On Your Spouse; Abandon Your Kids; Get Record Ratings

It appears that scandal is good for the show Jon & Kate plus everyone else with whom they are having sex. It will probably come as no surprise to you, but every single house in America and Canada watched the premiere episode of their show last night. Entire cities were empty. Those without televisions went to the houses of neighbors who did. Homeless people combined tips so they could enjoy 25 cent chicken wings and pitchers of beer at Hooters while they showed off their Demi Moore teeth.

Yeah, it wasn't quite like that, but TLC did get almost 10 million people to sit in front of their television sets to watch the episode. Want some perspective? How many of you watched the season finale of Lost? You know the one on a regular network which everyone has for free? Show of hands. Umm, it wasn't enough. Jon & Kate beat the season finale of Lost, by about 500K people. Shows you what we love to see on television doesn't it?

I'm sure Kate is figuring out now how to best exploit this. Jon meanwhile is just searching for a way to be free, but to hang on to all that money.

Larry King Needs Some Harry Carey Glasses

Yes, I know the headline might be confusing to some of you, but for those of you who knew who Harry Carey was, you will remember that he had glasses as thick as a coke bottle. Seriously. The lenses on his glasses were about 3 inches thick. I don't think you could even see his eyes they were so thick. Anyway, Larry King might be needing some of those or at least a producer who travels with him constantly. The reason?

According to The Globe, Larry was enjoying some deli last week when in walked Gwen Stefani to the same place. Larry, who is hip and cool in his own mind, sauntered his Mr. Burns like self over to Gwen and proceeded to drool while saying how big of a fan his kids are of her and would she sign an autograph, and while she was at it, maybe movie his wheelchair back into place. Gwen, being the lovely person she is, signed the autograph and even promised to send a picture as well.

Larry couldn't have been happier and then looked down at the signature and said, "Oh, I'm sorry I thought you were Christina Aguilera. Oh Larry. I'm guessing Larry doesn't know who Gwen even is or he would have shut his mouth and not inserted his foot. Smooth move for a guy who has been on radio since it was invented. He probably thought Gwen was just some actress or something and not the prize he was seeking. If he had known who she was, I am guessing he would have kept his mouth shut and not made himself look like an idiot or Gwen look bad.

I don't watch Larry, but hasn't he had Christina on the show? Maybe it was when Seacrest was hosting or something, but I could have sworn I saw two ton makeup lady on there one night.

Evangeline Lilly Confuses Me

One thing I never understand about celebrities is their ability to say one thing out of their mouth while their actions are the complete opposite. Take Evangeline Lilly for example. Always quiet and press shy. She is rarely seen at events. See how that works Lindsay? If they ruin your life you avoid them. It is pretty simple. Anyway, I know that Evangeline has always been a bit touchy about relationships and being photographed. I am actually shocked she was never arrested for beating a pap while she and Dominic were dating. I really thought one day she would snap.

Anyway, this month she is in Women's Health. Oh, and on the cover. Being on the cover of course attracts attention. Giving a cover interview provides you even more. So, when she has a quote in the magazine that bemoans the fact that she hates being photographed in public or being approached by fans asking if she is still dating Dominic it all seems, well, kind of fake. I mean no disrespect t the fine people who produce Women's Health, but it isn't exactly the cover of Vogue or W or Elle she is gracing here. Someone from her camp thought it was a great idea she do some publicity. If she is so anti celebrity then why do the cover? Why do the interview? Being in Women's Health says I want to be noticed. Please over here. I'm the woman in Hawaii filming the television show who hates acting but supported myself doing ads for phone dating.

Please. Evangeline wants the publicity as much as anyone. I think she just hates being stuck in Hawaii because no one ever gets to notice her and give her the attention she wants. She even goes so far as to say that she has turned down roles that would make her a huge star because acting is not her first love. Uh huh. Well, if she hates it so much she should have told the producers of Lost. It isn't like they are shy about killing off people. If you don't want to be there, I am sure they would oblige.

Kiefer Sutherland Is A Great Role Model For His Daughter

The NY Post says that Kiefer Sutherland was spotted in a bar Thursday night. Thursday? Today is Tuesday. Seriously. And this is from today's edition of the Post. Hell, their sources must use smoke signals or something. Damn. Anyway, it was a long weekend, and I guess they finally got around to checking their voicemails.

Kiefer, who has been to rehab and to jail because of his drinking and head butted a guy due to being drunk, just doesn't seem to care. He was spotted at a bar with his 21 year old daughter just drinking Dewars on the rocks. The article didn't say what Kiefer's daughter was drinking, but I am guessing it wasn't booze or they would have jumped all over it. I think she will either end up drinking as much as her dad or she will see what it has done to him and never touch the stuff.

What I hate is that he is setting a horrible example for his own child. How can he ever give her advice about anything because obviously his decision making skills suck. Kiefer is the guy you see who repeat offends until he kills someone. Even that doesn't always stop people from drinking, or drinking and driving. Hello Gary Collins.

You would just think that he could at least make an effort around his daughter.

Demi Moore Should Brush Her Teeth

Normally I don't post stories simply based on a photo. There are exceptions of course. Like yesterday when trying to figure out whether Hayden P was getting blood drawn and why. And then there is this photo today of Demi Moore looking rather Amy Winehouseish if I do say so myself. Of course you kind of expect Amy to be missing teeth. When drug abuse is your reason for living, brushing and flossing your teeth are not always at the top of your to-to list.

I mean, the saying is that you should brush after every meal. When you are smoking crack 24/7 there really are not that many meals, and so your teeth suffer.

Demi Moore took this picture of herself at her dentist's office and then Twittered it to the world. So, does it ruin her image? I for one know I will be using his picture long after today. I want to know why she had to get it replaced. I'm sure it is from something from a long time ago. Either she got fake teeth put in or maybe she got in a fight a long time ago, but it must suck to have to deal with that for the rest of your life. Plus, it wouldn't be much fun to be at The Golden Globes or something and bite into something and realize, "whoops, there goes a tooth." The next thing you know she is whistling everytime she speaks and everyone realizes Ashton is married to a woman with no teeth.

NBC Doesn't Want More Farrah Fawcett

Apparently Ryan O' Neal spoke a little too soon about selling more of Farrah Fawcett's misery to NBC. He had said after the success of the first show that there was enough material for a second, and I have no doubt he would have done everything he could to make it happen. Unfortunately for him, he probably asked for too much money for the second part and NBC took a pass. That is about the only reason I can think of why Ryan O'Neal's rep would tell the NY Post there are no plans for a second part.

Ryan went everywhere to tell the world there was going to be a second part. He probably assumed NBC would be salivating at the possibility of another night of great ratings. Maybe they want another night of death watch and maybe they don't. I guarantee you though that the price was probably lots higher than before which may have made them take a pass. Don't worry. If you really want to see more footage someone somewhere will buy it even if Ryan has to sell it piecemeal to different countries around the world. He knows this is his best shot to get a big paycheck.

Jennifer Love Hewitt Has Moved On To Bracelets

I love Jennifer Love Hewitt. No, not the kind of love where I would ever want to be with her. I mean come on. Would you want to be with someone who has been with Jamie Kennedy and probably has sex with him and then goes and sleeps in her mom's bed? No, I mean the kind of love that I have for all celebrities who constantly try and stay the center of attention and therefore always are saying things which sound utterly ridiculous when viewed from outside their own little mirror facing world.

As you may or may not recall, J Love had a habit where she would get together with her guy of the week, fall madly in love and buy the guy a ring from Cartier and treating it like a promise ring. Then they would go home, he would wrap himself in four or five condoms and they would have some, umm bedroom time and then watch old reruns of Jennifer on Party Of Five while she told whatever guy she was with how wonderful she was and how the rest of the cast sucked which is why she left before the show ended.

Well, now that the ring story has received such heavy play, Jennifer has come up with a new trick. According to The Chicago Sun Times,which has a great gossip column by the way, but maybe is not wise to the ways of J Love, the happy couple of Jennifer and Jamie bought themselves love bracelets. Awwww. Jennifer finally got a gift for herself. I hope they are the most atrocious looking things ever and that Jamie Kennedy looks like a tool wearing his. God I would love if they were hot pink or something with little flowers. Priceless.

Anyway, the story also said they were shopping for engagement ring for Jennifer which considering her collection might not be a bad idea. I mean if you are going to keep getting rings you might as well try and go for the whole ten fingers. Let me know when someone actually gets her down the aisle.

Mike Tyson's Daughter On Life Support

Whatever you think of Mike Tyson, and believe me you are not wrong to loathe him, his daughter is an entirely different matter. Mike's four year old daughter was found by her 7 year old brother with a treadmill cord around her neck. The boy went and got their mother who revived her daughter and then called 911.

The Phoenix police said, “Somehow she was playing on this treadmill, and there’s a cord that hangs under the console – it’s kind of a loop. Either she slipped or put her head in the loop, but it acted like a noose, and she was obviously unable to get herself off of it.”

It's a tragedy. I know the only reason anyone is seeing this is because it is the daughter of Mike Tyson, but it can happen in any house and is a tragedy for any parent. I hate when things like this happen because most of the time they are completely avoidable. I'm not blaming the mom, but exercise equipment is dangerous. The girl probably didn't know how anything worked and if it was not this then it could have been she turned it on and injured herself in a different way.

Mike was in Las Vegas when he heard the news and immediately rushed to the bedside of his daughter. She was listed in extremely critical condition. I can only hope that she pulls through and that I know we are all thinking of them.

Mel Gibson Spins And Then Tries To Be Funny On Jay Leno

When you are as big of a star as Mel Gibson you don't need to just rely on your paid spin doctor, you can also call up Jay Leno and offer to come on his show and announce a pregnancy. What? Jay Leno is supposed to say no to what would probably be some great ratings and a bunch of posts like this the next day? Mel first called Kneepads Magazine, because lets face it, they want Mel however they can get him even if it means taking exactly what he says as gospel. I'm guessing the spokesperson must have been speaking in Aramaic because People didn't bother to ask any questions.

The statement released said that yes, Oksana Grigorieva is pregnant. In fact, she is in her second trimester. I can understand waiting until after the first trimester to announce it publicly, but this quote by Mel's spinmeister is just that. Spin. "This has nothing to do with the divorce. Mel didn't even know Oksana was pregnant when they filed."

Uh huh. Well, Mel's wife filed for divorce six weeks ago and somehow I'm guessing she knew Mel's girlfriend was pregnant. You don't just stay separated for three years and then file for divorce and then, wow, what an effing coincidence, Mel's girlfriend just happened to be pregnant at the time.

After his less than stellar press release, Mel went on Jay Leno last night and as Kneepads reported, Mel looked relaxed and clean shaven. Seriously that is how the started the damn article. You cannot be serious. How in the hell is that reporting? I'm surprised they didn't throw in something about how before Mel came out he was in his dressing room meeting with abused kids and leading them in prayers.

Mel took responsibility for the collapse of his marriage. Uh huh. Well I think the world pretty much knew that. He also said he is still friends with his wife. Would she be willing to come on and verify that?

As for the impending birth of his eighth child? "I guess I'm Octo-Mel." Yeah, and the two of you deserve each other.

NY Daily News Blind Item

What seemingly sweet small-screen starlet is actually so nasty that she won't speak to anyone on set until she "has her face on?"

Today's Blind Items

This C list television/sometime film actress had one big hit on television and a nice steady paycheck from it for at least four or five years. Since then it has been hit or miss with television and movies with a more misses than hits. Anyway, this actress has a great story that she will share with anyone who will listen. It seems that on this hit show she had a female co-star who was not so much into guys if you know what I mean. However, it was more secret at that time then it is now. Anyway the co-star sat our C list actress down and without any kind of introduction or preamble or chit chat said, "You know I f**k bi**ches right?" Our C list actress who couldn't believe they were having this conversation, said "Oh yeah. Sure I knew," even though she really wasn't 100% sure at that time either. Our co-star then said, "Good. Just checking." She then got up and walked away and presumably to tell another person.

Random Photos Part One

I can't tell if this is an attempt by Kate Gosselin to smile or if Paul Teutel perhaps forgot to shower.
The one time a year where Ashley Judd gets to be the center of attention and bring her special brand of misery to the rest of the world
Hello Anna Paquin.
Christie Brinkley and her daughter Alexa Ray Joel who looks remarkably like her stepmother Katie Lee Joel.
Dave at Indy. Enough said.
Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz doing press for Bones.
Hedi Klum on her GNTM show. The G is for Germany in case you were wondering.
Wow, I didn't know tuxedo shirts were making a comeback. It looks like a senior class picture from a tiny town where they are dressed up for the big city.
I didn't even recognize Josh Duhamel.
Who doesn't love James Lipton?
Apparently Katie Holmes didn't get the whole 80's memo and has decided to jump both feet into the 70's. Next thing you know she will be doing a Rhoda remake.
Katharine McPhee in Washington DC.
This is Lindsay Price, but I think the important thing to not here is when in the hell did Godiva start making milkshakes and how come no one told me?
Megan Fox and her ever lengthening hair extensions. I wonder if she ever dresses as a blond and lets BAG call her Donna.
Speaking of bags. Mario Lopez in Indy.
And after the interview Shia LaBeouf took his turn parking cars. Or I would have accepted being the greeter at the door to Olive Garden.
This is Toni Braxton. Didn't recognize her. Maybe it is the booze.
Tim Roth makes a first appearance in the photos.

Cannes Photos Of The Day

Kerry Washington
Asia Argento
Willem Dafoe & Giada Colagrande
Laetitia Casta & Stefano Accorsi
Salome Stevinin
Peaches Geldof
Kylie Minogue
Jesse Metcalfe
Eva Herzigova
Olivia Palermo

Carli Goes To A BBQ - Adam Carolla, Bob Saget, Jay Leno, Jeffrey Ross & Patton Oswalt

Well hello again darling CDAN readers! While Enty spent the weekend in a liquor induced stupor, traveling no farther from the futon than the 5 feet to the BBQ, I found myself, once again, rubbing elbows with the rich and famous. The work of a fabulous ex wife on the hunt for a richer, older husband is just never done.

I was fortunate enough to be invited to the Shakespeare Festival of LA's fundraiser "kegger" at comedian Adam Carolla's Malibu estate. Now, being the woman of class that I am, I haven't attended anything with the word "keg" in the title since I was 19. (oops, sorry mom and dad, I mean 21!) But, given that this event's ticket prices ran from $150 to $2500, it sounded like my type of crowd: old and rich.

It was a beautiful sunny California day that was perfect for beer and hot dogs. I walked into the event and was greeted by the fabulous view, seen below. Who knew talking about herpes and juggies paid so well?
The event started about an hour before the actual stand up performances began. Mr. Carolla has quite a bit of land so before checking out the BBQ I headed down to grab myself a chair so I'd be front and center for the actual comedy. As you can see, before the comedians started they had a band performing by the name of Taxi Wisdom. The only wisdom I can impart to the band is: don't quit your day jobs.

To prevent my ear drums from splitting I headed back upstairs to check out the food and, one of my favorite things, the real estate. (no, that's not a metaphor for the men in attendance, surprisingly.) Apparently Adam Carolla makes a heck of a lot more money than I would've ever guessed because his house is gorgeous.The lovely Lynette Carolla may be my new inspiration. She's gorgeous, gracious, stylish, and, married to a very rich man. Though, let's be honest, Adam would not be the great success that he is without the help of a great woman such as Lynette. See what I mean? And yes, that IS Jay Leno standing behind her. More on him in a minute.

While attempting to find something that I would actually eat (ahem, Carli does NOT eat processed pig parts and ground meat, even if they ARE free!) I ran into Patton Oswalt in the VIP guest house. He, unsuccessfully, tried to talk to me into eating a burger, doing his best Vanna White impression to try to seduce my tastebuds. When that didn't work he appealed to my vain side by telling me that maybe I would get salmonella, which is the best diet anyone could ask for. Oooh that man knows how to talk dirty. Fortunately, I had just spied the mountain of cupcakes and dove into those instead.While stuffing my face with frosting I spied Adam Carolla wandering amongst the crowd.This was my reason for coming. I adored him on Loveline, abhorred the Man Show, and fell in love with him again when I discovered his radio show. (I wonder if CBS Radio is sick of my daily strongly worded letters they have been receiving since February when they made the stupid decision to change the format of their LA station and take Adam off the air.)

I patiently waited while two women accosted Adam and asked him where Dr. Drew was. Not there. I swooped in to rescue him because I had a burning question for him. (and no, not a Paris Hilton when she goes to the bathroom kind of burning) On his radio show Adam had a segment called "What Can't Adam Complain About?" I was never able to get through but I was convinced that I had the answer to that question: an orgasm. I presented my theory to him but of course, Mr. Carolla had an answer ready for me: "it's messy." Curses, foiled again!! No wonder he's the one making the big bucks and I'm hatching theories in my condo.

Finally it was time for the comedy to start. On my way down to my seat I ran into Bob Saget, whom I still refuse to believe is a different person from the "Lean, Mean Cleaning Machine" Danny Tanner that he played on Full House. He quickly shattered that illusion by leaning closer than necessary to get a nice glimpse of my cleavage. Before I realized what he was doing I was able to get a nice shot of him
I love a rich man, but I can't shake the mental image of him immediately jumping out of bed post coitus in order to Lysol the premises so even I was not going to go there. Oh Danny Tanner, your fictional persona has ruined a possible lucrative future for me.

The show began with a brief introduction from Adam where he thanked the sponsors.The crowd was told that Waste Management was one of the companies helping to support the event. Oh the myriad of jokes that could be made here.

First up was Jeffrey Ross, wearing a pair of pants I've seen in a J. Crew catalog but never believed anyone actually bought them.
He joked about his stint on Dancing With the Stars, insulted a few of the members of the crowd, sang a love song to his cat, and thanked Waste Management for making his career possible.

Next up was Bob Saget. I'd never seen him perform but I'd heard he had a filthy mouth. Seems he decided to keep it R rated for the charity event, which I'm sure the Shakespeare Festival was grateful for. He started to tell a story about his daughters but the punch line was about "DJ, Stephanie, and little Michelle." I'm a sucker for a good Full House joke so I found this hilarious. He then sang a song about something peppered with sexual innuendo and then he was off.Next up was a guy I'd never heard of, Jim Norton.
Although he looks like an angry little man, the guy flew himself in from NYC to perform at the event, for which he wasn't paid, which I was impressed by. He also flew in his trashy girlfriend, whom I was not impressed by. In his act he did a bit about her lack of dirty talking skills which was funny. Given her appearance I would've guessed that she currently made a living talking dirty but hey, what do I know?

Up next was Patton Oswalt.He apparently just had a baby a few weeks ago and made some jokes about correcting the doctor's Wolverine reference while in the delivery room. Lovable dorky humor, I like it.

Jay Leno was scheduled to take the stage after Patton but he was running late. Apparently one of his many cars is not the Batmobile and he was stuck in traffic on the PCH like us mere mortals had been in on our way to the event. Adam filled the time with a bit about how he and Queen Latifah were on The Tonight Show together once. He talked about some construction tool with the word "dike" in it and she apparently thought he was referring to her. Hilarity ensues.
Finally the man of the hour arrived, Mr. Jay Leno himself! He did a few jokes but mostly was there to conduct the charity auction. First up? An invitation to sit in studio while Adam recorded one of his podcasts. Jay nailed it when he said, "ooh. Sitting in a dark basement with Adam Carolla. I'll start the bidding at $2!" There were various other items auctioned off including a tour of Adam's garage. Apparently he is a car aficionado. This of course prompted someone in the crowd to yell "Hey Jay, how about a tour of YOUR garage?" which is legendary. He agreed to that on the spot. There was quite the bidding war for that one, with the top bid being $4500. I frantically looked around for the gentleman who could afford to blow that much money on an afternoon and to my dismay, it was a woman!! I mean, more power to her and someday I hope to be able to bid like that, just doesn't help my cause of marrying rich. Anyway, Jay proved to be the definition of charity by accepting her bid, PLUS inviting 2 other people with bids of $3000 and $2500 on the tour in order to raise more money for the Shakespeare Festival. He is a rare class act in Hollywood.

Not quite the class act was the aforementioned girlfriend of Jim Norton.
While waiting to try to get my picture taken with Jay (read: seduce him) I was listening to her conversation with some fans of his. Apparently they met at a show and she is from Jersey City. Wait....I know I have it here somewhere where.....oh there it is: my shocked face. Now my mother's side of the family is from Jersey and I do adore it, but this girl embodied all the awful stereotypes of the place. Her dress was so tight you could see her uterus. (which, much to her dismay, I'm sure, was empty. A fact I'd bet my Louboutins she is furiously working on before Jim meets another groupie)

Jeffrey Ross has done much better in the women department. His girlfriend was cute and classy-ish. (though showing a bit too much cleavage, or lack thereof, for my taste) Much like Jersey City, she clung to him whenever he was around and wouldn't let him out of her sight. Good girl. Looks like someone is on the Carli-husband-getting fast track. I approve.

Performances done, cupcakes eaten, and Bob Saget starting to get a little tipsy and grabby made it a good time for me to call it a day. Thanks again to the Shakespeare Festival for the invite, Adam and Lynette Carolla for opening their home, and the cupcake lady for her addictive frosting. The event truly was the highlight of my weekend, even if all the men in attendance seemed to have been bought the pricey tickets by their parents. Oh well, my search continues! Happy Memorial Day to all!

Hayden Panettiere Gets A Blood Test

Every year when I am on vacation there is nothing I like to do more than take a blood test. Apparently Hayden Panettiere feels the same way as she is sporting the universal symbol of someone just took some damn blood from my arm and now you are going to wrap my arm really damn tight with this tape look.

Now, why on earth would Hayden need to get a blood test while on vacation? Some kind of movie insurance? Maybe, but why couldn't she do it when she got back to LA? Random drug test? Maybe, but it isn't like she is an Olympic athlete or something so there would have to be a reason why she would be flagged for random drug tests.

Maybe she wasn't feeling well and went to the doctor? Maybe, but she played all day the day before this photo, the day of the photo and the day after.

Maybe she gave blood? Maybe. Hayden does seem like the sort who would go out of her way to help the people of France by donating her blood. Please. If they paid her maybe.

Thanks to Talley for the picture.

Twitter Has Jumped The Shark

It isn't too often a company jumps the shark before it even goes public so the founders can get paid. You know scratch that. There will be some rich dude who only hears about Twitter in the next few months who will still pay a fortune so the founders of Twitter will get paid, but it's relevance and shelf life is expiring quickly.

Apparently Twitter is going to be the focus of a new reality series involving people chasing celebrities and then Twittering about it. The whole idea is really vague. See if you understand what in the hell this quote means. "The show would harness Twitter to put players on the trail of celebrities in an interactive, competitive format."

Yeah, it sounds dumb. And how are they going to Twitter if it is taped? Will everyone know the results before it airs? Anyway, the show actually has some real producers behind it. Real as in they didn't just print up some business cards, walk into a club and tell some woman they are a producer and have the perfect role for her.

These producers actually are involved in The Office and The Sopranos and The Biggest Loser. They know what they are doing, but what I think this is going to do is make Twitter something akin to the pet rock. It was fun while it lasted but now lets pretend it never happened until VH1 does the best of the '00's.

"Oh do you remember Twitter?"
"It was the biggest thing ever. That was when Ashton Kutcher raced CNN to a million followers."
"Whatever happened to Ashton anyway? Is he still doing cruise ship gigs?"

The original jumping the shark, for your Memorial Day viewing.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which celebs have been banned from the Hotel du Cap in Cannes for their after-hours antics that disgusted the maids?

Potty Training Solved

I know today, while you were setting up the grill, swimming by the pool, getting stopped by the marathon for an hour on the way home from the liquor store you were sitting there asking yourself whatever happened to that whole Kelly Rutherford potty training thing? Well, I'm glad you asked. It turns out that the entire world thinks they are both crazy, and so the judge just said, have him wear a pull up diaper and he will use the bathroom when he wants. Sure, that is common sense to all of us reading this, but I want you to realize that Kelly and her soon to be ex spent about $35,000 in legal fees just on that one issue. That is when you know parents hate each other.

Oh, and parents who think their kids don't notice the hate? You are kidding yourselves. When asked by US Magazine if she could ever get along with her soon to be ex she said, "I don't see it."

Good to know. Kelly, is 8 and half months pregnant with her newest child is going to have an interesting issue come up when the baby is delivered. Kelly's son, who starts pre-school in a couple of months still breast feeds many times each day. What US didn't ask Kelly was whether the brother and sister would share now or if Hermes is going to have to find a new way to amuse himself.

I Smell Bonnie & Clyde

Jessica Biel doesn't really care about her movie career. I think we discovered that last week when she said those statements about her beauty hurting her for roles. Well, another part of her problem is that besides being an absolutely awful actress she also picks bad roles. You can be a horrific actress as long as you find roles that suit you being awful. Jessica Alba has made quite the living with that whole comic book character thing. Lots of money and no acting skills required.

Well, now Jessica really wants to put the stamp of mediocrity on her career. In an interview with Parade Magazine, Jessica says that she would love to star in a movie with Justin Timberlake. Oh wow. That would be awful. I swear the first thing I thought of when I read it was that what this world really needs is another Bonnie & Clyde movie. Until Gigli came along, it seemed like everytime a famous couple wants to shoot a movie together they always find some new version of Bonnie & Clyde. It is always awful and the careers are never the same again. The only reason Alec Baldwin came back out alive from his foray into that world was that it was 20 years ago and he burned every copy.

Why Don't You Just Burn The Money?

In the my parents gave me a bunch of money to start a business and now I am going to lose it item of the day, someone is giving Amy Winehouse money. No, it isn't for her to buy them drugs. Instead a British designer named PPQ is about to throw Amy Winehouse millions of dollars for her to produce her own line of clothes for the company. This is no lie. This is no exaggeration. If I were an investor in the company I would immediately withdraw all my money.

What the hell is Amy Winehouse going to design? She always wears the same damn thing. Either jeans and ballet shoes or a dress with a ton of cleavage. And do you really think Amy can sketch? Do you think she will turn anything in on time? Hell no. All she is going to do is waste a whole bunch of money and turn out a bunch of product with lots of hidden compartments for drugs.

"The range will be all about high-end statement pieces, inspired by Amy's style. For example, maybe a dress or an amazing piece of jewelery like a bracelet."

There is nothing high end about Amy. I think they have the wrong person.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which top action star is mortified every time he has to ask his assistant to pick up his Valtrex prescription?