Four For Friday - Bad Drug Behavior

#1 - This A list director passed out during a premiere of his latest movie. When people tried to help him out of the theatre they noticed he had wet himself and his seat. Nice.

#2 - This very good looking C+ list movie actor who doesn't work as much as you would think was in a convenience store. There were two people in line in front of him and after waiting patiently for about two seconds pushed them out of the way and said he needed to go first. When the clerk told him he would have to wait his turn, our actor screamed and yelled and then walked out. He opened the door so hard that it broke off its hinges.

#3 - This isn't so much of an example as bad drug behavior but it is drug related. This A list country music singer with a sterling reputation is also a huge meth dealer. Well actually it is his road manager that does the dealing. Our singer just gets the majority of the profits.

#4 - This B+ reality star and sometime actress has her very own diet plan. She is so pleased with it she wanted to try and market it. She actually approached her agent and said, "I have a great diet plan and I want to sell it." "What is it?" the agent asked. "It's this pill called Adderall. I take it and then I am not hungry for days."

Random Photos Part One

Allen Shellenberger - RIP
By far my favorite picture of the day. If you don't know the story, the couple posing in the picture were at Banff and set the timer on their camera. Right when the picture was being taken this squirrel popped up.
Alyson Hannigan walking her baby. Well, presumably her baby is in there. She might just be doing it for some type of stroller pushing competition or to carry her groceries.
Anne Hathaway on the set of her new movie.
It also stars Jessica Alba.
Ashley Tisdale and her acid washed jeans. Really? Are they back, because I have a pair in size 54 that I could be rocking instead of my Zubazz this weekend.
For three very famous comics there aren't a lot of smiles here. Double chins yes. Smiles, no.
Bonnie Raitt & Taj Mahal - New York
So is this a new pap game? Lower the air pressure in tires? Yesterday was Christina Ricci and today it is Danni Minogue.
Ellen Pompeo must be due pretty soon.
Presumably not due is George Clooney's girlfriend. George is suing some Italian magazines for publishing photos of a 13 year old girl naked and changing her clothes in one of his bedrooms.
When the husband wins the name my baby game, you get names like Gunner Wright.
Joan Collins is 76 and is working it.
Just think. Women are quitting their jobs so they can have sex with this guy.
John Stamos in New York. He and Gina Gershon have been having dinner together frequently.
Has anyone ever seen Justin Timberlake on a motorcycle before?
Katie Holmes in Australia.
Kellan Lutz getting ready for a remake of Quicksilver. All he needs now is a bike.
Katie Price's new boyfriend playing with her kids.
And exploiting them.
Katy Perry - Melbourne
I actually like this picture of Megan Fox.
With all of the attention and hype that Inglourious Basterds gets, Melanie Laurent doesn't get any love. Here you go Melanie.
Matthew Morrison getting ready for the new season of Glee.
Michael Phelps got into a car accident. No one was hurt, and no alcohol was involved and it wasn't even his fault, yet at last count about 30 newspapers, tabloids and gossip sites were reporting it.
Some randomness. Martin Sheen, Nancy Sinatra and Elliott Gould.
Paula Abdul at The Ivy. I know I have bad mouthed their food in the past but I had some ginger curry mussels a few weeks ago that were amazing.
Renee doesn't seem too happy does she? This was for an Elle photoshoot.

Your Turn

Last night for dinner my mom was out of the house and so my dad and I decided to make the same thing we always make when she is gone. Two pounds of pasta with a steak on the side. Oh, and lots of bread. Yes, I know, I know, it's fattening. I think we have gone way past the warning stage with me by now though. But, as I suffered through my heartburn last night I said to myself I need some new ideas for food and who better for that, than my readers. So, today, I would love for you to share your favorite recipe and rest assured that my father and I will go through each of them over the next few months. Vegan, vegetarian, meat-a-tarian, whatever you have. Desserts, salads, dips, or anything else are all appreciated.

John Hughes, Jean Louisa Kelly, Uncle Buck & GOOP Nightmares

Last week after John Hughes passed away, it affected me more than I thought it would. I mean this was the man who had written movies that changed the way I thought and lived. He had characters with whom I could identify. Plus, the soundtracks of some of those movies I still listen to and know all the words to and instantly take me back to that movie or time in my life.
The great thing about him though was that he also appealed to the masses. There is not really any teen angst in Planes, Trains and Automobiles or Home Alone, but they were movies that became more about the plot and character development than CGI or special effects. It showed me that popcorn movies could still have great writing and characters and it is something missing from many mainstream movies today. There are great movies today with great characters but, they are for the most part confined to limited releases and have to search them out.
So, after his death, I decided to have a marathon of sorts and the first movie I chose was Uncle Buck. To me it combines the best of John Hughes movies. It has his classic humor, but also showed his ability to understand what teenagers are thinking and teaches life lessons without being preachy or judgmental.

Well of course as soon as I started watching it, and saw the first scene with the character Tia played by Jean Louisa Kelly I had to pick up the phone and give her a call. I loved Jean in that movie. She was perfect for the part. She was a high school junior who, immediately before she was cast had moved to a new city and a new school and so it wasn’t hard for her to identify with the emotions and issues Tia was facing in her life.
When we finally connected on the phone, Jean was with her family out in Delaware and had been in Maryland which of course led to a discussion of Maryland blue crabs and the best beaches and whether a man my size should really be seen in public in just a bathing suit. She had just gone on vacation after finishing a Hallmark Channel movie which comes out at Christmas. The movie is called The Christmas Gift. A Hallmark Christmas movie? Better bring the tissues. I forgot to ask her what it’s like filming a Christmas movie in the middle of 100 degree days in July. I also forgot to ask her if her mom would let me use her beach house for a few days. I just want to be prepared because I know Gwyneth Paltrow is going to come back from vacation and she is going to write in GOOP about some cleanse I need to do which involves salt water, sand and chocolate and is sure to make me feel like a S’more. I can feel it.
Jean has been in so many movies and television shows since Uncle Buck and was probably more famous as a teenager for singing in Mr. Holland’s Opus than for her role in Uncle Buck. Most people know her now from her role as Kim Warner on Yes Dear, but, it all started for her back with John Hughes and Uncle Buck.

I wanted to know everything I had not heard before but started by asking Jean about her experience with John. You have to know that this was Jean’s first movie. She didn’t know what a movie experience was supposed to be like. She told me when she first read the script for Uncle Buck her first response was that it was honest. I had never thought about it like that before, but that summarizes his writing style. It was honest. She remembers him being very patient and very willing to take the time to get things correct without ever getting angry. In one of the most memorable scenes of the movie, Macaulay Culkin asks John Candy’s character a series of questions. Macaulay just couldn’t get the rhythm correct but Hughes never got frustrated. The problem was finally solved when Jean turned the questions into a song with the right kind of rhythm.
Another thing she remembered was the close relationship John Hughes had with John Candy. Hughes would let the cameras roll after each John Candy scene and let him come up with four or five different lines or improv another way to do the scene. Hughes trusted Candy, and Jean said it was obvious Hughes trusted all his actors and had faith they would deliver. I would say that over the years his trust was well rewarded.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which recently single celeb wasn’t so faithful to her last boyfriend? She’d been sleeping with a big-name hip-hop artist for the last four months of her relationship.

Michael Vick Got A Job - Pink Isn't Happy

For the past few weeks I would watch the news wires everyday and pray that my favorite football team wouldn't sign Michael Vick. I didn't want my team to be known as the one who did sign him. No reporter all year will ask any question without asking about Michael Vick. No story about the team will be without a reference to Michael Vick. So, it was with great relief yesterday that I saw he signed with the Eagles. Except of course for the fans of Philadelphia. All year when you tell people that you are a fan of the Eagles, they will invariably say, "Oh, you are the team that gave that dog killer a job."

It won't matter how well the team does, all the conversation will be about Michael Vick. As an owner it shows that you really don't care about your fans. I have not read the Philadelphia papers this morning, but I can't imagine there are too many positive articles. Pink, who is from Philadelphia had this to say on her Twitter.

"wow. michael vick in MY hometown, Philly. of all the places. I hope the fans tear him to pieces like his beloved dogs."

It's a possibility.

Jesus. Oops. Sorry Omarosa

Donald Trump's few remaining hairs must have stood straight up at hearing this news. Omarosa is headed to the seminary and going to become a minister. This must be back to school week for celebrities. First there was Jerry O'Connell and now this. Beginning this week, Omarosa is going to spend the next two years getting her doctor of ministry degree. So, now not only will you have to call her Dr. Omarosa but she could also be your minister. She would be the first minister I have known who has fake breasts. Oh, except for that porn star who became a minister. Oh wait she wasn't a porn star, she was a hooker. That's right. Hooker's For Jesus. My bad. Maybe she and Omarosa can go on tour together. I know Omarosa wasn't a hooker, but it would still be an interesting show.

A spokesperson for the school Omarosa is attending said, "She has expressed a calling in her life and it is our opportunity to provide leadership and guidance as she makes a transformation. We're excited about her coming to school at UTS."

I actually thought Omarosa had a new show that was airing this fall on some network, but maybe that fell through. It doesn't sound like she will have time for both. At first I thought this might be some type of publicity stunt for her new show, but than I thought you are really testing fate if you exploit the ministry for publicity. Hello televangelists.

It turns out she is doing this because she did some work for the poor and homeless in Haiti and wanted to do more.

Did Kangaroo Jack Help Him On His LSAT?

The biggest topic around the office yesterday was not whether I would be drunk again by the end of the day but rather Jerry O'Connell enrolling in law school. Beginning this week Jerry started attending classes at Southwestern Law School. He will be attending part-time and at night.

The big question everyone asked here was why? Jerry is 35, which is probably close to the average age for night students at the school, but no one could figure out why he would subject himself to the torture of law school when he could make much more money doing a sequel of Kangaroo Jack than he could in several years of practicing law. Normally law school takes three years to complete but that is for a full-time student. A student going part time is probably going to finish in about 4 to 4.5 years. Also, just because you are going at night doesn't mean the classes are going to change or that you get to study less. He has brand new twins and although he doesn't currently have a day job this just seems like a really odd choice.

I know his last television series bombed but it isn't like he hasn't had success in the past. He could be attending because down the road he wants to help people with his degree and do good things and that would certainly be noble. He could be attending because acting is boring to him now and he wants more education. Again, that is very noble but I am not sure he quite understands just how hard law school is and how many hours he will have to study. There were some stories earlier in the week that said he was going to be staying at home with the kids while Rebecca Romijn went back to work. Umm, if he is going to try and study and take care of twins at the same time it won't be long before they have a nanny or two.

I wish him well, I just don't understand it.

Ukraine's Got Talent Winner Kseniya Simonova

So last night I stumbled across this video of Kseniya Simonova who was the winner of Ukraine's Got Talent. It is over 8 minutes long and I figured I would get bored after a minute or two. Not even close. While the rest of the world generally goes for something less dramatic with their Got Talent winners, the Ukraine decided this woman had the most talent and I agree. She is a sand artist and using a light box and music she draws images of how World War 2 affected the people in the Ukraine. It's pretty damn incredible. I realize many of you don't have 8 minutes right now to watch, but I encourage you to watch it when you have time. It's amazing and that is an understatement.

Want Ratings? Call The Cops

So, last night in front of TLC camera crews, Kate Gosselin paid a surprise visit to her house. Allegedly she came over because she had concerns over one of the babysitters Jon Gosselin was using. Well if it makes her feel any better, I am pretty sure the babysitter in question was the one Jon was having sex with last week so I doubt she was actually watching the children. Unless of course we want to count Jon as a child. Judges? Yes, he is a child.

Instead of going into the house to have an argument they apparently chose to argue in public over a fence. The reports say Kate was locked out of her house. I say the TLC producers were telling her to go around back to the fence so neighbors would be curious and call the cops. The cops came but no ones know who called them.

The ratings have been down and this is a way for TLC to jack them up again. Don't believe me? OK, well ask yourself these questions. It was Jon's time with the children. Kate knows the producers are there so even if she doesn't like one particular sitter why does she drive all the way from Maryland to confront Jon? Phones don't work obviously. Look how she is dressed in the above photo. Great for cameras. Not so great for middle of the night visits to check on the safety of your children. Obviously too distraught to go back home to Maryland she decides to check into the Days Inn. Notice how whatever pap photos you see of the checking in process are taken from the outside. Not one pap took one from inside? Paps know not to try and take photos inside a store in LA because they will get thrown out and not get calls from employees the next time a celebrity comes into a store. What would stop them from going into a Days Inn lobby? What do they care if a night manager there gets upset at them for a few seconds? I'm guessing producers stopped them from getting inside.

In other Gosselin end of the world news, Jon has found a way to make a living. The MGM Grand is paying Jon a fee to host a pool party and bikini contest the weekend of August 29th at Wet Republic. Other notable "celebrities" to get paid for being there are Audrina Patridge, Mario Lopez and Lindsay Lohan. Better get your tickets early.

Ted C Blind Item

Handsome enough, Fruzzy Tuna-Stench has never really had much of a problem with the ladies—that's because they usually don't tip each other off! Take a recent conquest of Fruzzy's, a babe who was so delighted to have found herself in Mr. Tuna-Stench's Hollywood Hills home, she wanted to squeal! Oh, my! And they'd only been dating for a bit, she thought, and he's already taken her into his private and storied man-quarters, such an achievement!

So there they are, the gorgeous brown-locked luscious one and her very, very famous bed partner, writhing away on the famous actor's oversize mattress. Tops off? Check. Jewelry off? Check. Then off fly the undies, too, so hot!

And there before our lucky gal lies the utterly nude, quasi-sculpted bod of Mr. Fruzzy...

Whose endowment our darling sex-horned babe cannot wait to devour and jump on—and dine away she does, impressive, horny girl! Only problem is…Mr. Fruzzy's private parts aren't exactly responding in kind. Something's wrong. Our sexed-out source wonders, Is it me? As she's a knockout above all knockouts, highly unlikely.

Disappointed with the fun foreplay stuff, Fruzzy's bed partner decides to just jump ahead to the main course, and go ahead and let daddy have his entrée right away, maybe he's just not a nooky appetizer kinda guy? Just strictly a meat and potatoes dude maybe? So they assume the position. And, well, nothin's happenin' in that department, either.

Alas, Fruzzy just can't get it up, and the amorous evening of promising love bites is a bust. Utterly depressed, our disappointed babe watches as Fruzzy, still naked, gets up and walk into his den, where he stays for some time. So she decides to follow him, wondering what's up.

And guess who's sitting at a computer Googling himself without a stitch on? Best part of all? Finally something had arisen—and it wasn't just the poor girl's irritation.

And It Ain't: Bradley Cooper, Stephen Moyer, John Mayer

Today's Blind Items

Although it pains me to admit it I guess this aging television actress is B list. It is more because of her show than any real acting talent on her part. I mean it is a hit television show. Anyway, our actress has child/ren and because of that our actress found herself at a recent concert by this tweener star. Of course they went backstage. The actress and the tweener started flirting and the next thing you know they were having sex together in her hotel room. Luckily the next morning when the child/ren came into the room, the couple wasn't actually having sex, but still, very awkward. The tweener can't stop telling everyone about that night. And no it wasn't any of the Jonas Brothers. They are all pure. Haha (Nelson from The Simpson's voice)

Random Photos Part One

Les Paul - RIP
Big Brother & The Holding Company - New York
Brooks & Dunn - Nashville
Basically if you don't buy Carol Alt's book she is going to kick your ass.
Whenever I mention Countess Luann my first thought is that I am at some transvestite show and that Joan Rivers and Cher are going to come out and a medley.
Although I admire Christina Ricci for doing her own car repairs, would it be rude of me to say that the half pulled back hair style might not be the best look for her.
Dane Cook - Still not funny.
Will Ferrell - Still funny, but really, really needs a comeback.
David Beckham shows you what he has. Oh, and he can touch his feet too.
Mena Suvari really needs to find better people to pose next to.
I think Denise went for the setting on the tanning spray that says: WARNING people may not see you crossing the street at night if you are this dark.
Apparently that woman with George Hamilton last week who wasn't inclined to wear a bra is, in fact his wife. Oh, and he has a kid too. Hope he doesn't grow up and marry Shannen Doherty also.
Since Holly Madison probably won't get to Cannes, she figured a casino floor would work to show off what she would wear.
At this point, I think if you have a garage party and promise to show an episode of Mad Men on the door, Jon Hamm would show up for it. He is pretty much relentless when it comes to promoting the show.
More Jack. Can I just say how much I have loved these pictures the past few weeks and how all of them have been with his kids and their friends. I'm not saying he probably hasn't hit on the friends, but he has really enjoyed himself and it shows. Good for him.
With as a-holey as Piven is, you really want him to look not so good, and more Kid Rock-ish.
Lighten up Jay-Z, it's an engagement party.
I guess Kanye and Amber are still together.
LL Cool J on the set of NCIS Los Angeles. Yeah, because what television needs is another initial show in yet another city.
You know what? I have seen Mischa Barton look a whole lot worse when she is wearing makeup. She looks good for a 40 year old.
Speaking of 40, just how old is Morley Safer. Has he hit 100 yet?
No Doubt has released some photos from their tour. This is backstage at Atlantic City a few months ago.
The New York Times ran a story today about how pot belly's are cool again and abs of steel are out. Let me know when obese is the new hot and I will pose for it.
Speaking of hot. Hello, Rachel McAdams.
Brad Pitt even took a photo of her.
While Eric Bana posed with his wife.
Ron Livingston just didn't care.
And just in case you have any Eric Bana/Brad Pitt fantasies, here you go.
It has been forever since Paige Davis was in the photos.
Shia got his cast off.
Stewie was outed.
The Little Death - New York
How skinny can one person get and still stand?

Jamie Oliver Does The Village People

Jamie Oliver didn't actually do the Village People, although I really should call Randy Jones and verify just to be sure. This is actually a promo for Jamie's show in the UK. Very funny.

Shoot Me Now Because I'm Writing About The Kardashian's Again

I can usually go weeks without writing about any of the Kardashian's. Yes, I will post their photos, because they are pretty and don't annoy me nearly as much as most reality stars, but you would think I wouldn't have to write about them twice in one day. Actually by the time this post is finished I will have written about all three of the older sisters.

First up is that Carmen Ortega was on some radio show yesterday and gave a very eloquent interview to Hot 97 where she said she has a sex tape of herself and Reggie Bush. Well, maybe not actual sex, but something that she obviously thinks she can sell.

"Me and Reggie were friends that became more... during Kim... (but now) me and Reggie do not communicate... I don't want to."
Asked if sex tape rumors are true, Ortega said, "Possibly... There's stuff that I have. I have no idea what I'm gonna do with it, to be honest."

Umm, if you were honest you could say that you are shopping it around and finding out whether there is a market for a Reggie Bush sex tape and if it is going to blow your chances for being in Playboy or getting your own reality show. Wow, sounds just like Kim's career. Anyway, let's move on to Khloe.

In an interview with Life&Style, Khloe says that an episode where she is found with a vial of cocaine in her purse isn't what it seems to be. "My employee was picking up a pile of clothes that customers had tried on, and it (vial) fell out. She called me into the dressing room, and it was in a little glass vial. I was leaving the dressing room, and a lot of customers walked in. I didn’t know what to do, so I threw it in my purse. I was like, 'I’ll dispose of this in a second,' and I went to help them. Then I forgot about it.

Nothing registered until after the fact. Now, talking about it, I’m like, 'OK, that would be really bad if I got (charged) with drug possession.' But I don’t do drugs. I don’t have drugs in my purse. I’m not someone who needs to do drugs... I’m too energetic and crazy as it is. I wouldn’t want to see me on drugs."

Apparently she was confronted by her sisters when they went digging through her purse and found it. I am a little sketchy on this one. Khloe was the one who had the DUI and then got in trouble for blowing everything off. Does anyone know whether the episode shows the sisters talking to the employee and verifying all of this? It is a great excuse, but here is where I think the story falls apart. She walks into the dressing room and gets the coke. She then leaves the dressing room and customers come in and so she goes to wherever she keeps her purse and puts it in there? Did she not pass a trash can on the way to her purse? That all seems a little odd to me. I like Khloe and so I hope she is telling the truth, but this kind of sets off the BS detector.

Jenny McCarthy Sets The Record Straight - Talks To Cookie Magazine

No matter what Jenny McCarthy says or does or claims I always find hard to stay angry at her for long. I like her a lot. She is fun and smart and sexy and refreshingly candid when most celebrities try and obfuscate while they decide what that word actually means. This month Jenny gave a very long interview to Cookie Magazine. No, I don't actually read Cookie Magazine on a regular basis, but I do keep up with them. They are the magazine that interviewed Amanda Peet last year when she mad all the vaccine comments. The first thing Jenny said in this interview was that she thinks vaccines are safe, just not for everyone.

One of the reasons I always end up liking Jenny even when she signs on with Oprah is that she is passionate about her son. She loves that kid like all parents should love their kid and you can't help but pull for someone who has done so much for a cause she believes in and became involved in because of her child.

I will let you read the whole article, but this is an example of why I like her. She talks about a time when her son was put on some anti-seizure medicine after he had suffered through a seven hour seizure. I can't imagine what it must be like to see your child go through a 7 hour seizure and be helpless while you watched. Anyway, the hospital gave him some medicine.

"When he got home from the hospital, Evan was put on a heavy dose of anti seizure medication, which kept him awake for four days and induced hallucinations that made him not recognize his mom and bang his head against the wall until he bled. 'I ran out of my house and into my driveway and screamed at the top of my lungs to God to just take him away, because I loved him so much and he was in so much pain,' McCarthy says of the period she describes as her "second rock-bottom" (the first being the moment Evan's heart stopped momentarily)."

With other celebrities you would think a statement like that would just be hyperbole if they could figure out what that word meant. With Jenny though you sense that it really happened and that she really had those emotions and then she is sharing all of that grief and pain and realization with the world. She never seems like she is doing it just for her own benefit or to make herself better known. I don't always agree with Jenny, but I admire her and respect her and that is a lot more than I can say for 99% of the celebrities out there.

New York Daily News Blind Item

Which scorned reality star is in talks with a major R&B singer to have a faux relationship — just to improve her image?

Good Morning America Puts On Their Larry King Mask

Good Morning America is like a whole gaggle of Ann Curry's and Larry King's combined. The last time any of them asked a serious question was about whether they should order the chicken or egg salad for lunch. This morning they had Oksana Grigorieva on their program. Have you heard of her before? Yes, you are right it is Mel Gibson's girlfriend.

Would you have ever heard of her if she wasn't Mel Gibson's girlfriend? You know because of her singing and her new album. Of course you haven't, so it is effing ridiculous that Good Morning America told the world today that the only reason she was on the show this morning was because of her singing and her new album. Please, it is only because she is pregnant with Mel's kid and Barbara Walters wants an exclusive with Mel at some point down the road. How much do you want to bet that Mel turns up on her list of Most Fascinating people of 2009? A little payback from Mel.

So, GMA had Oksana on their show and so you would assume they would ask about Mel or the baby or the divorce or the church or if she speaks Aramaic. Anything at all. Nope. Crickets. I don't understand why GMA even pretends they are part of a news organization because all they are is just a younger version of Larry King. Without the eye patch of course. I love the pirate look on Larry. I'm hoping they will cast him to play Keith Richards' dad in the next Pirates of The Caribbean movie.

John Edwards Is The Baby Daddy

Say what you will about The National Enquirer but they do seem to be locked in on the whole John Edwards baby daddy drama. In their latest issue they are reporting that a secret DNA test was done and that it shows that John Edwards is the father of Frances who is the 18 month old daughter of Rielle Hunter. She is the woman Edwards has had an ongoing affair with while his wife deals with cancer.

Being the stand up guy he is John Edwards has always denied being the dad of the baby and Elizabeth Edwards has said she didn't know who the father of the baby is. I always found that hard to believe. I mean if you are going to take your husband back aren't you going to at least want to know if he fathered a child with his mistress? Are you going to close your eyes to everything and just pretend it never happened. The Enquirer kind of makes it seem like they are the ones who performed the secret DNA test. Well, they are The Enquirer after all, but it looks like the only secret is that it wasn't released to the public. The test was actually part of a child support process because Rielle wants some money to help pay for the care of the child. Also, is there anyone out there who really didn't think he was the father? This story would have gone away 18 months ago if he had just admitted it. The thing is a politician's instinct is to deny, deny, deny until they are left no way out of the corner and then admit they were wrong. Kind of.

Katie Holmes Is The Bad Guy?

When I think of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes which is almost every second of every day, I tend to think that Tom is the evil manipulative one and Katie is the brainwashed desperate to escape one in the relationship. Granted, my vision is probably correct, but yesterday in Australia things changed. Now was it yesterday in Australia or was it today which would really be tomorrow? You know what? It happened at some point in the last 48 hours in Australia. Tom, who hasn't been spending much time with Katie lately was on the set of her new movie called, "I'm Going To Bomb At The Box Office." While on the set which was a public location fans of course wanted to talk to him. Please, you know you would as well. It might not be pleasant but you know you would go see how tall he was or say something. So, Tom, being Tom did the photographs and autographs and did what he does best. Schmooze.

When he finally finished, Radar Online says he went back to being with Katie who was just a wee bit ticked at not getting all of Tom's attention. Some words were exchanged and Tom "stormed away." Oh, incidentally, I think Kate Major went to work for Radar. Read this quote and tell me how this contributes to the story. "Tom, clad in a cute black sweater and tight jeans..." Well, if it was her who wrote it, the good news is Tom only has three kids compared to 8 for Jon Gosselin. Wow, I managed to work them into a Tom Cruise story. I have to get out more. (The photo above is from a few months ago. No tight jeans or cute black sweater for Tom in this one.)

Isn't That Convenient?

I almost felt like The Church Lady when I wrote that headline. Dana Carvey just channeled right through my body and came out the other end looking like Garth. Last night I noticed that Kourtney Kardashian had got pregnant. Interesting? Sure. Earth shattering? Nope. You would have thought the world had stopped spinning because so many blogs and tabloids wrote about it. She was on The Today Show this morning for goodness sake. She is the sister of someone who got famous for having sex with someone who was the brother of someone famous. Anyway, I wasn't going to bother writing about it. Then I saw when she was due.

Yes, when I saw that she was due in December I started using my fingers and toes and came to the conclusion that she is a little over five months pregnant. Interesting side note before I get to my main point of contention. She broke up with the baby's father in February. Umm, it must have been during the breakup sex that she got pregnant. But of course now that she is pregnant they couldn't be happier. Well, they could. I mean if she had her own reality show and didn't have to share it with her sisters. Any of them.

So, if she is due in December that means she is about five months pregnant or maybe six? Are we agreed on that? Do we also agree that most people tell their friends and family after three months? Four? Five? See where I am going here? Everyone knew except for the general public.

Now, I want you to take the time today to read all the tabloid reports of her pregnancy. Not the blogs, but the People and Us and OK! Magazines of the world. I bet they all have a quote that looks very similar to this one from US. "Kourtney's new reality show, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, premieres Sunday."

Wow, isn't that the most convenient thing in the world. How much do you want to bet that if they didn't have a show premiering on Sunday that they would have announced this several months ago? How much would you like to wager that she and the baby daddy break up for good by the time the baby is a year old or they get 40 episodes of a reality show under their belt? Isn't it good to know that people are not just exploiting their kids after they are born but now are willing to do it even before they are born? I can't wait until some reality star is willing to get pregnant as we watch their show. Go ahead and exploit them right from the moment of conception.

Ben Widdicombe Blind Item

Which it girl with a prominent lineage, famous for her friendship with a gay designer, is infamous for sitting down with that designer and three friends and being offered first dibs on five lines of cocaine? After sucking up all five lines, she threw back her head and announced: "Momma's here!"

Today's Blind Items

This foreign born, married B-/C+ movie and television actor just missed out on what would have been his big break. A lead on a great television show that was canceled. He has always been thisclose to moving up a notch on the list. Well, his actress wife is also a B-/C+ but she is on the downswing of her career and older than her husband. Anyway, the husband has got the role of a lifetime he is about to begin shooting and his wife saw a role in the movie as a chance to try and resurrect her once promising career. In public the husband was all for it, but in private he worked behind the scenes to make sure her part went to another actress because he wants the focus to be all about him and not about a husband and wife on the same movie. His wife still doesn't understand how she went from having the part one day to it being offered to another actress the next.

Random Photos Part One

Liam Neeson at his first solo red carpet appearance since his wife died.
Anne Hathaway is not exactly being safe driving the scooter one handed and holding a purse. She is wearing a helmet though.
So, Brittany Flickinger has apparently run out of money for clothes. She is wearing a bra and has stolen the apron from some makeup woman at the mall and called it an outfit. Meanwhile her BFF is in the South Pacific and contaminating the wildlife there for generations to come.
Speaking of wildlife, I never thought I would find someone or something as tall as Brooke Shields, but there you go.
Brenda Song at a bar. Is she 21? Oh, and she swears up and down that no matter how many times she is photographed with a Jonas brother she isn't actually dating them or hooking up or canoodling.
The only thing that was missing from Britney Spears yesterday was her pink wig and some bare feet in a bathroom. She wore three different outfits in a couple of hours of shopping.


Somehow I missed posting Dylan McDermott yesterday.
Fergie just gets more scary with each passing day. Stay off drugs kids.
IAMX - Budapest
A first time appearance for Isabel Keating and the first time Jennifer Westfeldt has been in the photos without Jon Hamm.
Also first time appearances for Jessica Collins and Matt Czuchry.
It has been awhile since Jason Lewis was in the photos.
Stamps from old television shows. This is June Lockhart from Lassie.
Barbara Hale from Perry Mason.
And one of the best scenes ever from I Love Lucy.
Jack Nicholson and his son who is about the same age as Jack's girlfriends.
A very happy Lou Diamond Phillips.
Blanket and Prince.
Ne-Yo gets the best dressed award of the day.
Pearl Jam - London
Richard Belzer and his dog.
Reese Witherspoon and her black eye.
Ska-P - Budapest
A very odd red carpet photo. Zach, Heather Graham, and Bradley Cooper.
Even Justin Bartha found it amusing.

I Hate Alana Stewart

For some reason yesterday The Huffington Post decided to give some column space to Alana Stewart. I guess maybe they felt she had something to say about her life with Farrah Fawcett or how she had sex with Ryan O'Neal while Farrah was in the other room. Whatever her reason, I am sure they expected more from her than what they got. What did they get? Basically they got the f**king introduction to Alana Stewart's new book about Farrah.

It is a very short piece she wrote and has three links in it. Three links. Guess where each one of the links sends you? To the Harper Collins website where you can purchase the book for $23.99. All she did was write an ad for her book. I wouldn't even be shocked if The Huffington Post paid her for posting something on their site so she could sell her book.

Is she that desperate for money and to sell her books that she has to link 3 separate times for people to buy it. Why can't you write a tribute to the friend you were betraying without also trying to get everyone to buy your book? I think The Huffington Post should call her piece for what it is. An advertisement. That is what her friend has come down to. A buck.

Shocker!! Christina Aguilera Is A Diva

Back in 2007, the UK photographer Rankin worked with Christina Aguilera on a photoshoot. I know this will probably shock everyone who reads this but Rankin says Christina is a diva. I know, I know, I was shocked at the news myself. Rankin actually told Closer Magazine that Christina was "the diva from hell," and will never work with her again. I always think it is interesting what happens when two divas meet. I have always heard Rankin is a diva. So, if the photographer and the subject are both divas and no one is willing to break, than what happens? This.

"Christina was a diva from hell and pure torture to be around. She's so self-obsessed.
She insisted that her chauffeur drive her indoors into the studio so she wasn't papped - even though there was nobody outside. Then, she crashed my after party and her bodyguard stood outside the bathroom shouting, 'Nobody but Christina uses this toilet.' She's a joke."

An after party for a photoshoot? I really need to start tagging along on these things. To me that just sounds like an excuse to party everyday. I mean how long does a photoshoot take that you need to have an afterparty.

Happy Birthday Dominique Swain

Today is Dominique Swain's birthday. Normally I don't make a big deal out of birthdays of friends, but Dominique was such an integral part of the site in the first few months it existed that I feel like to not wish her a happy birthday would be wrong. Dominique or ZX as she was known sucked it up a few times a week and wrote about her life and what she was doing and provided some of the most controversial posts ever. Looking back at them now makes you wonder what all the fuss was about, but there certainly was fuss. In honor of her birthday I am reposting two of the more controversial ones. The first is from April 18, 2007 and was just a recap of a photo shoot. The comments however turned into a debate about the angle of the sun and whether you could see the sun reflected in the pool.

The second post was from April 23, 2007 and was also a huge deal because Dominique made one mistake and I didn't catch it. She spelled Louboutin incorrectly. I know, I know and the world went insane. So, enjoy the posts and you can click on the dates above each one to go back and read the comments.

April 18, 2007

ZX--Two Combined Posts, Three Photos


**Originally, ZX wrote the name of the photographer and the make-up artist, but I deleted them because it would make it too easy to guess ZX. If you recognize them, then please send me an e-mail before you post ZX's identity in the comments section much like the woman did from ABC. ZX and I are trying to keep her identity a secret at least through May. I will say that one specific guess made ZX really hysterical. It seems that one person guessed Miss No-Pants. **

If only I had not been crazed and on my way to a photo shoot, I would have been more specific about the fact that Frankie said to a birthday party WITH Ryan Gosling, not Ryan Gosling's birthday party, but it doesn't matter because we confused Parc with Mood and never ended up at the party anyway. I was wondering why Frankie and crew never showed up... Found all this out later when my best friend was telling someone this story and he claimed to be Ryan G's close friend. Anyway, to all you doubters, you should know by now that I have trouble being organized with almost every element of my life. I just thought this particular snafu was so funny I wanted to share it.

Photo shoot was lots of fun although I think the engineering of Mulholland Drive is a conspiracy. Why did they make it so difficult to simply stay on the same street. One minute you're merrily on Mulholland talking on the phone and cursing zen drivers and the next you're rudely dumped in Hollywood or the Valley. I have to read two scripts tonight but I'll use my handy dandy fact checker next time I want to relate a night on the town.

Here are the photos from the shoot. The first is of the view on the Hollywood side of Mulholland. The second is the sumptuous clothes I wore. The third is the photographer and the makeup artist.

April 23, 2007

ZX's Weekend--No One Gets More Out Of A Weekend Than ZX

Friday, I went to do the interview at Izzy's Deli, yes, for the size 10 cheap shoes/ kmart clothes/provoking pool shoot. Izzy's was totally packed and when we asked the Angelyne-ish hostess if we could move to a quieter booth, she first ignored me like she was far too busy, then Just Said No, and finally upon further inquiry, took five minutes while the place was lining up out the door to lecture both of us on how we could have been seated immediately if we'd waited for the table we wanted in the first place.

Don't mean to be an erudite jackass but she's been hostessing at a deli for 50 years too long and didn't appreciate our gig. Next thing I know, my interviewer is admitting to sending shoot photos to a persnickety actor. When he gave her more trouble, she sent him an email, "How about these? You look beee-eautiful!" And replaced the pictures with photos of her bulldog. So we spent the lunch not working and laughing our asses off and had to reschedule for Saturday.

Went home and tore into some Screen Actor's Guild Envelopes which mean but one thing: Cha-ching! Opened one: "Yes!" Opened the second, "YEEESSSSS!"Opened the third. "Wait. No. Bill." In an identical envelope, the hooligans.

So Saturday, had the real interview. Fell further in love with this girl, but lost my car for two hours and had to pass by a homeless artist who said he loved my feet. I thought he wanted to look at them or draw them but he bent down and caressed my arch. "Aaaaah," he said. "Lower back trouble. And you love organizing things." He was right about the lumbar but I had to pass him two more times in search for said lost vehicle and that pretty much eliminated his second theory.

Stalked my guy and he actually picked up his phone and invited me to an art show, but it was another A-frame disaster and he pretty much hates me now which somehow makes him more mysterious and alluring.

a view of a side room at the art show through a hole

a neato poquito exhibit where sensors detect your movements and make a lighted wall of buds bloom as you move

The dinner with the financiers was awesome. The hostess had a slumber party of little girls who kept peering in from the kitchen clutching my dvd cover,and then disappearing when I looked up. Which was probably why the most outrageously gorgeous Australian meat mogul to ever come up over was paying so much attention to me. He even offered to drag me outside and kiss me, cheeky I know, I would have told him to piss off but he was ADORABLE. When I asked him how old he was, he said, "You were still in your dad's bags when I was in Baghdad." Had a good conversation with the financier about the film we want to make and the director told me as we left, "No shtupping Dad's Bags until we figure out everyone's dynamic." They may have all been swingers, who knows.

Went sheep herding on Sunday which was amazing. I didn't bring my dog, but I'm definitely going back. My best friend crocheted me a hat with sheep ears which I wore, OF COURSE, and one of the dogs thought I was some overgrown human sheep hybrid and couldn't focus. The owner got frustrated so I took off the hat and she looked over and said, "That's scarier."

Went to a Chumash festival with my dad and wanted to buy a bracelet but didn't have time for them to run my credit card over the phone. So I took my friend back the next day in the rain to see a Native American who could hula hoop with 24 hula hoops, and there was my dad coming out of the cloudburst to surprise me with the bracelet!

Later, went shopping at Elyse Walker, which is this chi chi boutique in the Palisades. A woman working there looked down and took in the shoes I wore to Burning man, coffee stained sweater, and back up to the sheep hat and kind of turned away. I bought some adorable Christian Laboutin shoes and wanted to box her ears with them and say "Big mistake, HUGE!" like Pretty Woman, but they were from her store, so I think it would've lacked impact.

Oh. Got a call from a director who said he wrote a vigilante action movie FOR ME, but his financiers wanted some TV girl who fits my identical description for the lead, but would I do this other part? I pouted for a couple days, but it's actually a terrific script with a great cast and the read- through's Monday. All signs point to Hooray.

I Think The Nickname Possibilities Are More Exciting Than The Relationship

Apparently it is true that Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger are a couple. They have been spotted in Spain grabbing each other's asses and then eating food so you know it must be serious. One of the great things about this is that we can all stop with the Bradley Cooper/Jennifer Aniston stories now and concentrate on what it is that Renee has that men seem to like. I must not posses that gene because I would find it very disturbing to date her and do not find her sexy at all. In fact I find the whole idea of this couple kind of boring. Who really cares? Most women I know hate Bradley Cooper because they think he is the character he played in He's Just Not That Into You and also don't understand why he and Jennifer Esposito got divorced so suddenly. Bradley wants to stay famous and maybe Renee was his ticket to pap photos.

Anyway, one thing this couple has got going for them is the possibility of great nicknames. One photo agency came up with the name Cooger which I think is awful. I know we can do much better and I think because I am a guy and a kid at heart, Booger has to be first. Sure it combines more than a first and last name, but it is still fun to say. I also like Coozell. Bra-Ze is another option as is CoReZ. That last one is for all the texters out there who alternate between upper and lower case and drive me mad. Renee's middle name is Kathleen so you could do BradKat. The possibilities are endless unlike the relationship which I give about three months.

Billy Mays Died Because Of Drugs - Cause Of Death Changed

Remember last week how cocaine was listed as a contributing cause to Billy Mays' death but that heart disease was the real reason? Well, it seems the medical examiner might have just been trying to make the family happy with that decision. It turns out it wasn't the right decision or the right cause of death. According to a report on TMZ today, the actual cause of death should be Acute Drug Toxicity. Billy had a bunch of drugs in his system when he died. In addition to cocaine he also had Xanax and Vicodin in his system and it was the long term use of all of these drugs that caused him to die. Are there any doctors out there who actually prescribe what they should or are they all willing to write extra prescriptions for the right price?

Channing Tatum Does His Vanilla Ice Impression - But Naked

US Weekly found some old video of Channing Tatum from when he was a stripper. I don't think he has anything to be embarrassed about for being a stripper. I do think he should be embarrassed for doing his best to look like Vanilla Ice. The video is from 1999 when Channing was just 18 years old.

Why Paula Abdul Being On Dancing With The Stars Is A Bad Idea

There has been a lot of talk this week about what Paula Abdul is going to do next in her career. This of course makes a big change from before American Idol when most people would have said, "Oh, isn't she that woman who was in the music videos with Arsenio Hall and Keanu Reeves." Now of course because of the show she walked away from she has some great name recognition. She doesn't have a job but she has great name recognition. For about a year she will be able to guest star on television shows or make surprise appearances and still play off that American Idol fame but those won't last long. There will be some other person that will be more relevant in a year and Paula will be forced to examine other career options.

One thing that everyone has said is that she is going to be on Dancing With The Stars this season. Not as a judge, but as a contestant. Why? Why would she be on the show? I can't think of any good reasons. It is not going to expand her shelf life. She is used to being the center of attention and on DWTS she will be just one of 35 people. Yep. They are increasing the number of celebrities to 16 which means they will be diluted to the point of barely being celebrity. The dancers they are partnered with will be more famous in some cases. Then you have the judges and the host and Paula will be nothing more than a number. You might be saying, "But she is a dancer, she can win." Did you see her dancing on American Idol? That was not ballroom. I think what is likely to happen is that she will get hurt and have to drop off the show. The salary is only about $250K so I hope she isn't doing it for the money. Oh, $250K is about what Victoria Beckham got for her work in Denver for American Idol. A much easier way to earn $250K.

Also Paula and Carrie Ann Inaba dislike each other immensely. Hate would probably be a better word to describe their relationship so if Paula gets a low score from Carrie how does everyone handle that? Is it because Paula sucked or is it because Carrie hates her or a little of both? I think the best bet for Paula right now is to talk to the people over at American Idol and arrange for some kind of surprise return to the show. Do whatever it takes, but if she doesn't get on that show she will fade away.

Michael Jackson Is Not Buried Yet

It has been a few days since my last Michael Jackson story and while I would like to discuss whether or not the mother of Blanket is a Mexican nurse named Helena there isn't really much to discuss. You either believe her story or you don't and you move on. However, there is actually something we can discuss and that is the fact that Joe Jackson has said Michael isn't buried yet. Earlier this week there were reports that Michael was buried and Joe says that just isn't true. I could have told you it wasn't true. Do you really think it would be just some quiet thing where people were told after the fact? Joe couldn't sell t-shirts if no one knew it was going on. In an interview with E!, Joe also said that he supports the idea of moving Neverland to Las Vegas so all Michael's fans can visit him there.

Can I tell you what I think is going to happen? I have discussed with others and they think I am crazy but I think they will move Neverland or have some kind of exhibit in Las Vegas featuring Michael. That Sony movie that is going to be released soon will be available to watch there in a special theatre and they will sell DVD's of it. I think there will be a type of Graceland experience without maybe actually moving all of Neverland. Now, what is missing at Graceland? The tomb of Elvis is at Graceland and his mom and dad, but you don't get to see a body. How much extra would you pay to see Elvis's body? They charge you one price to get into Graceland and then you can add a whole bunch of extras. How much extra do you think Michael Jackson fans would pay to see his embalmed body? Yep. I think that is why they haven't buried it yet. There is not going to be another autopsy. There is no reason not to bury it, but they haven't. The reason? I think they are deciding how to make money off the body.

Oh, and don't think that just putting it in Berry Gordy's crypt is burying it because it isn't. I will give up on this idea when someone tells me he is buried in the ground. Other than that I think the Jackson family is perfectly content selling tickets to see Michael's body. For an extra $100 you can have your picture taken next to it and a souvenir key chain that plays ABC. A beating by Joe Jackson is optional.

Ben Widdicombe Blind Item

Which wealthy, drug-addled former singer still likes to shoplift from designers like her old friend who got into so much trouble with Marc Jacobs?

Today's Blind Items

It is not quite up to the same level as Coke Mom, but I definitely think this mom is headed in that direction. The reason I say it isn't as bad as Coke Mom is because this divorced C+/B- movie and television actress who has had some very meaty roles doesn't actually use coke in front of her child as far as I know. I mean she might but her child is a little older than Coke Mom's child so would probably remember it. Our actress has always had a very solid career. If you saw her you would know her instantly even if you didn't know her name. The problem is that her coke use has got so out of hand that she missed three straight auditions for what would have been her biggest role to date. She would have been the lead in a popcorn flick but instead it went to someone else and so now our actress is stuck in a movie no one is going to see, playing essentially the same character she always plays.

Oh, and since you read this far, if you see a picture of Coke Mom lately she has the crazy eyes. Those big huge how the hell do pupils get that big kind of look. Oh, and forget trying to talk to her. She can't stand in one place for longer than about 30 seconds.

Cameron Douglas's Girlfriend Is An Idiot

I would say that high on the list of people not to date would be drug dealers. I am not saying they are at the top of the list but they are fairly near the top. Reason number one is because you are very likely to be arrested at some point during your relationship. Reason number two is that you probably will start using drugs which will cause you to do stupid things. Of course this presumes you are not stupid in the first place for dating said dealer.

Well yesterday in federal court, Cameron Douglas' girlfriend Kelly Scott was arrested. Why was Kelly arrested? Because she passed Cameron an electric toothbrush. Oh, and inside the toothbrush were dime bags of heroin. Yes, inside a federal f**king courtroom she tried to pass someone drugs.

What an idiot.

Random Photos Part One

This is what happens when two current A listers are fans of one of the all time greatest actors on the planet. Sidney Poitier.
Yes, I realize that two pictures of Brad and Angelina might be too much.
So, three is just excessive.
Anna Paquin walking her dogs down an alley. I promise we do actually have grass in LA.
So, how come Carla Bruni makes her third appearance in a bikini on her vacation, but Princess Letizia still hasn't shown up in one at all?
I love Carla Gugino. I'm not sure about the hair style.
Chris Pine was one of many actors today sucking up to the Golden Globes voters.
Christina Ricci looks very nice here.
Diane Kruger is always one of the best dressed celebrities.
She even changed for the after party. Sarah Silverman wore the same thing she will probably wear when she gets married.
Evan Rachel Wood decided to leave Marilyn Manson at home.
Does anyone know if this new Gerard Butler/ Jennifer Aniston movie takes place all in one day? Jennifer has worn the same outfit for at least 95% of the filming.
The very lovely Jenna Fischer.
And if you are going to show Jenna, one must also show Mindy and BJ.

"So, then Ryan took me to a premiere and I saw Angelina looking at my man and I told her to step off."
Alex Rodriguez must see a stripper off in the distance.
And Kate Hudson looks pregnant. Just saying.
Keri Hilson - Tokyo.
These children look-a-likes are supposed to get people to slow down. All I know is that if I saw one of these kids staring at me in a foggy UK night, while I was driving, I would freak the hell out.
Not as much as I would freak out if I saw Koda driving a car though.
It's sad when wearing a sport coat makes you look even more homeless.
Mischa Barton up close.
Yeah, I think this is a much better angle.
Michael Fassbender doing his best to hide his cigarette.
Judging by the looks on Hilary and Penn Badgley's face they must be playing Taylor Momsen's music again on the set of Gossip Girl.
Rob Lowe just found out he is getting two new nannies.
I'm trying to figure out why Rose McGowan was invited to this event and if she had any words for Evan Rachel Wood about their mutual f**k buddy.
Testament - New York

Jaime Pressly Didn't Use A Sidewalk As A Toilet

Yesterday the internet was alive with pictures of Jaime Pressly outside The Abbey on a Sunday afternoon peeing happily away on the sidewalk. Turns out though that not only wasn't she too drunk to not find the bathroom she also wasn't actually taking care of her business on the sidewalk. According to Jaime's Twitter page she says,

Yes....that is me doing dare #8 at my bridal shower..Things are not always what they seem.. Notice my hand in the back..its pouring a bottl

And then of course because she couldn't count to 140 characters she continued it on her next Tweet.

pouring a bottle of water!!! C'mon guys! Do you think i would really pee in the entry way to the Abbey in broad DAYLIGHT!!!

Well, the thing is I wasn't really that shocked. It is hard to imagine getting that hammered on mimosas in the afternoon, but I choose to believe her because of the blogger that is horribly wrong if we choose to believe Jaime.

I would like to know what dares 1-7 were though. I am sure you can find the photo of Jaime if you look hard enough, but I don't want to link to it myself.

Reggie Miller Fights Back

I guess when the entire world thinks you are hitting on married women and you feel you are being wronged you do what any other person would do in that situation. You call TMZ. Reggie Miller did just that yesterday and explained his side of the story in regards to the Ali Kay flirting. His story isn't really any different from what I posted yesterday. The only significant difference is that Reggie says Ali texted him two photos in that first day of texting which are shown above. Reggie also said he was the noble guy in all of this and decided to end things with Ali. It was after he stopped contacting her that she made the next move and wanted to know why Reggie had stopped texting her. Alex von Furstenberg then went crazy and he and Reggie got lawyers.

This kind of thing happens every day in every city in the world. The only thing that makes this worth even writing about is the message being dragged through the air over the beaches. I do think that if and when Alex and Ali decide to finally get married that it probably won't last very long at all.

The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus

As long as I am showing one trailer I thought I might as well go ahead and show the trailer for Heath Ledger's last movie. As you may remember, Heath was about halfway finished with his role in The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus before he died. Stepping in to replace him were three other actors who are pretty good in their own right. Johnny Depp, Jude Law & Colin Farrell. All four actors are in the trailer that was released yesterday.

2 Minutes = $65 Million Dollars

There is a part of me that loves reading about jewelry store robberies. As long as no one gets hurt I think they are one of the most interesting crimes and generally have the largest rewards. In London last week the two men pictured above managed to get about $65 Million in jewels in two minutes flat. The two men took 43 items and then fled the store. The store, which is called Graff Diamonds actually was robbed a few years ago and had about $35M in jewels stolen. You would think they would have learned after the first time.

This is what I don't understand and maybe someone could explain. A person goes into a bank and robs it and they rarely get more than a few thousand dollars and get an exploding dye pack for their troubles and are almost always caught right away. Jewelry stores on the other hand just leave this stuff out and every few months in Paris or London some thief or group of thieves walks away with multi millions in jewels. At some point if you are the jewelers wouldn't you think about putting the cheap stuff out front or having copies or having a book with photos and only bringing out one piece at a time.

It isn't like someone just walks in the store and says yes to something that costs a few million dollars. How much revenue does Graff Diamonds generate? In three years they have had about $100M in jewels stolen. That is like losing $30M a year. Yes they have insurance, but do you think anyone is going to give them insurance anymore?

What Do You Think?

So, the New York Daily News is reporting that Britney Spears was getting some free stuff in a swag suit and had her two kids with her. The NY Daily News says her kids are 2 and 3 respectively. I believe them but doesn't it seem like they have been 2 and 3 forever? At this rate Jessica Alba's kid is going to catch up to them and pass them.

Anyway, while Britney was looking for free stuff because you know she can't afford to buy anything, the kids kept saying, "Oh s**t." Apparently they said it repeatedly. Now, I am not particularly offended that the kids heard it. I am fairly sure that Britney or Kevin's vocabulary consists primarily of four letter words and so it is natural they heard it and then are repeating it. Fine. But according to the story, Britney didn't even seem to notice and was more concerned with getting as much free stuff as possible. That is the part that bothers me. I understand kids are going to hear and repeat. But at some point I would think a parent would pick up on the fact that her kids are swearing in public. It isn't exactly proper for adults to be running around saying "oh s**t," all the time so don't know why kids get a pass because they are 2 and 3. If it happened to me I think I would be embarrassed and try and get my kids to stop swearing in front of everyone. Now that is just me. I'm wondering what you would do if you were in that situation.

The Lovely Bones Trailer

So, I have been waiting to see this movie for what seems like forever. This week the trailer finally was released and my biggest fears have been realized. Mark Wahlberg is going to ruin it. I don't know what made everyone think he could play the role of the father, but when I see him in the trailer he is the same character he always plays in every movie. That works fine for some movie about a football player or as one of a group of friends but it doesn't work here. At all. Susan Sarandon looks amazing and Stanley Tucci looks scary as hell, but Mark Wahlberg is going to destroy this movie.

Get Ready For Octomom

For the next two to three weeks I think it is going to be all Octomom all the time in the tabloids. FOX is going to air a two hour special on Octomom later this month and so I am sure the publicity machine will be in full force. They are promising some kind of never seen footage. What I think happened is someone finally bought the footage of her giving birth and all the other footage she was shooting in anticipation of becoming famous.

I am a little surprised at how calmly FOX is promoting this. I would have thought they would have combined it with one of their patented reality shows like When Animals Attack or Police Chases Or Freak Show Men And The Women Who Love Them.

Instead what we have is "an intimate look inside Nadya Suleman's life allowing viewers to witness the emotional struggles, physical complications and financial burdens of this single mother of 14".

Uh huh. I don't really have any sympathy for her at all. None. However, I will say that I am much more likely to watch her show than I am to ever watch another Jon & Kate episode. And when I say watch Octomom's show I mean DVR it because I guarantee you I will only be able to take it in ten minute doses. On a positive note I will say that except for wanting fame to such an extent that she had 8 kids she now regrets having, at least she appears to be home with them most of the time. I don't know if she is just ordering things online and surfing for porn on the internet, while nannies take care of the kids, but she is home and is not out all the time like some other reality parents.

The Best Excuse Ever

Leave it to a lawyer to come up with one of the top ten excuses of all time. This excuse is truly a work of art. Before I get to it let me give you some background. Did you ever watch Diddily Piddily's show Making The Band? I remember watching it the first year and saying, "What the hell happen to O-Town?" Then I watched it the second and third year and said, "Wait, isn't this the same damn people they had on the show last year? How many seasons does it take to make a damn band?"

Anyway, Sara Stokes was on one of those seasons. I want you to take a look at the mug shot on top of the post. It looks like Sara had the crap beaten out of her right? According to the police though, what happened was that Sara and her husband were arguing in front of their three kids. Sara decided she had enough and left the house. As she was leaving she actually tripped and fell down some stairs and did that to her face. Seriously. She then decided she would accuse her husband of it despite the fact he didn't do it. Oh, and for good measure while their kids watched she grabbed a knife and stabbed her husband in the arm.

When the cops came they arrested Sara and charged her with assault with a deadly weapon and domestic violence. The district attorney is deciding whether to press charges.

So, are you ready for the excuse of the year? This is how Sara's lawyer explains what happened. "Sara and Tony have a very passionate and loving relationship that on August 2, while having an evening of fun, she slipped and fell, hitting her head heavily on the ground and somehow in the process of helping her Tony got injured."

Yeah, I can see it now. Tony, while slicing some tomatoes looks through the front window and sees Sara fall to the ground. He rushes to her aid and is in such a hurry he doesn't set down the knife. As he pulls her up the knife falls from his hand. Sara grabs it and as Tony pulls her up Sara slips and as she attempts to regain her balance stabs Tony in the arm with the knife.

Yeah, I could see that.

How Much Fame Can You Get Out Of A Weekend?

Although I am fairly tired of the entire Jon & Kate media parade, one thing I am not tired of is Kate Major. Oh, I don't have much use for her as a celebrity, but she is one of the biggest topics of conversation simply because everyone is curious to how far someone can take a weekend with Jon Gosselin. Kate Major was the Star Magazine reporter who managed to turn an interview with Jon Gosselin into a photo opportunity for herself, some headlines and some kind of freaky sex weekend in the Hamptons with Michael Lohan, his girlfriend, Jon and one of the Real Housewives.

Last night she was on E! and gave a really long interview and despite her protestations to the contrary you could tell she was loving the attention. The question is whether last night was the peak of her fame? Can she take it any further? She is not stupid and having been a tabloid reporter she knows some tricks. I know she was counting on Jon being more into her than Hailey Glassman, but that didn't happen.

To me, Kate is the epitome of someone becoming famous for absolutely nothing. She went to dinner with him in New York and got her face plastered all over the internet and tabloids. Can you make 15 minutes out of that? Can you make more than 15 minutes out of it? She has been the topic of conversation because the game is what move should she play next to keep the fame clock ticking? Does she go the Playboy route? Does she keep doing interviews? Does she try and get Jon back? Doe she have sex in public with Michael Lohan? One thing that is interesting is that she says she has proof that she and Jon were romantic. I don't know if that means Michael filmed them together or if there are just a couple of love notes, but maybe the proof will buy her some more time.

At this point she may be in a box and out of options, but it is fun to watch her try and cling to the 15 minutes.

Emmy Rossum Pulls A Janet Jackson

What is one way for an actress to get some attention? Divorce a guy no one knew you were married to. Because of everything that goes on in the world it was probably very easy to miss the news item that Emmy Rossum and her long time boyfriend Justin Siegel had called it quits. I mean I wasn't even sure it was worth paying a publicist to release that kind of information. I mean when is the last time you sat down at night and said, "I wonder what Emmy Rossum is doing?" You don't. And so like most breakups you just kind of go, "meh."

But then Emmy pulled a trick out of her pocket. It turns out she was actually married to Justin. Because they asked for a confidential marriage license no one actually knows when they were married, but they will when someone files divorce papers. They couldn't have been married that long because they only started dating in 2007. I wonder what other kind of secrets Emmy has been keeping from the world? I still think Janet Jackson being secretly married was a bigger deal because people actually paid attention to what Janet was doing. Even if Emmy had not got a confidential marriage license, I am not sure anyone would have noticed if she got married. Well, at least none of us had to buy gifts.

Today's Blind Items

This was going to be the Four For Friday last week.

So, there is a very popular cable television show. One of the stars of that show is probably a B lister just based on longevity in the business, but in reality is probably a C lister. She was in a recent movie with this A list movie actress and they had a special relationship if you know what I mean. Special as in clothing optional special. Well, it was the first time for our C lister, but apparently not her last as she has now formed a special bond with one of her female B list co-stars on that cable television show. And when I say special bond, I mean a clothing optional kind of bond.

#1 - C list actress
#2 - A list actress
#3 - B list actress
#4 - Television show of C & B list actress.

Random Photos Part One

Ben Harper - Chicago
Chace Crawford and Ashley Greene swapping spit in a car at LAX. Maybe it is because he had just seen these completely NSFW pictures of her. I would post them on here, but I have had enough letters from lawyers in the past week.
Who do you think is better looking? I am going with Solange. There are just too many strikes against Beyonce.
Bat For Lashes - Chicago
I know there are always lots of pictures of Britney Spears, but I am trying to remember the last time I saw her on a red carpet.
Those shoes look way too large for Courteney.
The lovely Cheryl Hines.
David Cassidy promoting his show.
And David live in concert taken by lutefisk which I have been remiss in posting.
Emma Roberts was at the Teen Choice Awards. Meanwhile,
dad was over on the other side of town with Patrick Warburton. They are in a new movie called Rock Slyde. Think Puddy as a private detective. Very funny, but you have to really get into it.
Andy Dick is in it and is hilarious as the head of Bartology which is very similar to Scientology.
Drea de Matteo plugging away for Desperate Housewives and trying to avoid Lindsay Lohan.
Hmmm. You think they could be related?
My favorite picture of the day. Gwen and Zuma.
The John Mayer wants more attention picture of the day.
Kate and her bodyguard. Cue Whitney and Kevin.
Kim Kardashian and her new hair color.
You know when you see someone you hate them after awhile? Well then you kind of start to miss them and you start liking them again. That is where I am in the Katy Perry process.
Kristen Stewart because well Twilight won all the awards last night so I figured I should post her photo.
This is what happens when Avril Lavigne and Cher decide to have a baby and cover it in tattoos. I have no idea what in the hell Kat von D was thinking here.
Lykke Li - Chicago
I found someone more pale than Michelle Trachtenberg.
The family Brosnan.
Shaquille O'Neal was the life of this party. Seriously.
At this point it is just easier to post most of the Twilight actors in one photo. I wish they would at all times pose together. It makes things much easier.

How To Embarrass A Former NBA All-Star

This is quite possibly one of the best things I have seen in a long time. Ladies, I know you want to cut off your man's business or superglue it to his thigh when he strays, but all that is going to do is get you tossed in jail. This on the other hand is priceless and for a few bucks you can make your man feel like a big piece of crap and not want to show his face in public ever again.

Oh, and guys it works for you as well. Please don't hit your significant others if they cheat, just shame them with a banner flown in the sky.

At every beach in Southern California this weekend, a plane flew this message back and forth. People who had no idea who Reggie Miller was do now. People who had no idea he hit on married women do now. All weekend long he was the topic of discussion.

The reason for the sign is supposedly because Reggie has been making the moves on his neighbor Ali Kay. Now Ali isn't actually married, but she is engaged to Diane von Furstenberg's son Alex. (The couple is pictured below) I think the banner would lose some of its oomph if it said he needed to stay away from engaged women. Married sounds much more damaging.
So, Reggie met this woman at a grocery store. Somehow he got her phone number. Bad move on her part because Reggie then texted her and called her and almost had a restraining order filed against him. Then, when Ali's boyfriend confronted Reggie about it, Reggie threatened violence against Alex if Alex kept trying to stop him from making the moves on Ali. Umm it is his fiance' Reggie. Back the hell off.

I thought that was all taken care of but maybe not. Reggie apologized to Alex so maybe Reggie is hitting on other married women now. You would think he would learn his lesson.

If It's Summer It Must Be Time For A Patrick McDermott Sighting

I think at this point most people probably don't even remember who Patrick McDermott was and they probably care even less whether he is found or not. Unfortunately for us we don't make television and so once a year in the summer we have to have a Patrick McDermott sighting. Last year it was Dateline who generated a bunch of publicity so we would watch their show about him and this year it is probably some network somewhere in the world who is trying to get summer viewers to watch their program.

For those who don't remember, Patrick was the lover of Olivia Newton John when he disappeared on a fishing trip. He owed child support to his ex-wife and really that is about it. There really wasn't much reason for him to go missing unless he was tired of hearing Hopelessly Devoted To You being sung every day by Olivia.

Anyway, logically everyone thinks he was killed at sea back in 2005. The conspiracy theorists have him alive and well and living in Mexico where he has been spotted about 16 times since 2005. He works as a waiter at a fishing resort. Well, back in April investigators say they received a fax from Mexico from a person who was faxing it on behalf of Patrick. Sure, because everyone knows you need a 3rd party to fax something.

The fax basically says that Patrick wants to be left alone and to stop looking for him and that he just wants to live in peace. Well, he can't live in peace because then television shows can't make money and tabloids can't sell extra copies. It doesn't matter if none of this makes any sense because the only thing that matters is trying to keep us interested enough once a year to buy something or watch something. Next year I think they should have him involved in a shootout with a Mexican drug cartel. That would be cool. (Thanks Rebecca)

I Know Where Gwyneth Paltrow Is

Waiting these three weeks for GOOP to be back from vacation is killing me. However, my pain is nothing compared to the pain Coldplay is feeling right now. Last night they were forced to cancel their show in Tampa because of medical reasons. In other words, Gwyneth Paltrow was there and she cooked for the band. They hope to resume touring, oh, in about three weeks.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which pop star turned down a pretty fan wanting lewd antics on a long-haul flight? The fella was ticked off by management for his previous transatlantic love-ins.

Shocker!! 64 Year Old Man Marries 17 Year Old Woman And It Doesn't Last Forever

Most of the time when you hear about a 64 year year old man marrying a 17 year old girl you wonder what movie you are watching. Seriously has anyone ever heard of some 64 year old marrying a 17 year old where she wasn't like bride #13 of 16 in his harem or some kind of religious cult? Well, after five years of marriage, Brian Williams, now 69 is divorcing his 22 year old bride Stacey who he met when she came home with his 18 year old daughter.

I am honestly shocked the marriage lasted five years. If I had known about this five years ago I would have given it a year at the most. Apparently Brian wants the divorce because Stacey stays out until all hours of the night partying with her friends. Now, you and I would probably think all hours of the night would be 3 or 4 in the morning. For Brian though it could be anytime after say, like 10pm. Brian, who uses a cane to walk says that he doesn't hold any grudges against Stacey and that he told her long ago if she ever wanted to divorce to just let him know. I mean there are plenty of other 18 year old women who would probably love to have a go at him. Here is your Verne Troyer quote of the day and it comes from Stacey at the time the couple got married.

"When I look at Brian I don't see an old man, I notice what's in his heart. Making love to Brian made my first time so special. He's a great lover."

Miley Cyrus Wants The Attention Focused On Her Again

Apparently having the world focus on Vanessa Hudgens and her latest picture drama rubbed Miley Cyrus the wrong way. What better way to get back in the minds of perverts and to be a role model for young teen girls than to barely wear any clothes and writhe around on a stripper pole. It was bad enough that last week her like 6 or 7 year old sister was photographed holding on to a stripper pole but I guess Miley's parents have no idea how to market Miley except as a sex object. All of those things they said last year about how they didn't know Miley would be posing almost nude in Vanity Fair and wouldn't have allowed it if they knew just really come off hollow and empty.
I don't care if she is 16 and has a career as a stripper in front of her. Right now she has chosen to be on her Disney show for another season and with that whether she likes it or not is a responsibility to kids who watch her and idolize her and then see her on a stripper pole and think it is normal behavior. At what point did we decide that it was ok to put a 16 year old girl on a stripper pole and say that is normal behavior?

When Miley walked the red carpet she wore a mini skirt in which there was no real way she could sit down. She then changed into a dress that was worn on the runway in Paris earlier this year and was held in place by tape on the breasts. In between she did her stripper pole number. The stripper pole is on top of a box which says Miley's ice cream. Seriously?

The only thing that was missing was Billy Ray getting a lap dance while sitting next to Brooke Hogan riding her father. Maybe I am just old and cranky and not seeing the artistic merit or maybe this is what 16 year old girls aspire to now. Maybe this Christmas Toys R Us and Wal-Mart will be selling stripper poles with Barbie on them. Everything is included. Stripper pole, strobe light and a bunch of fake dollar bills for the male customers who come over and watch.

Which Actor Can Get Their Kid The Biggest Part?

Do you remember when parents would just compete to see who could give their child the best birthday party? You know it would come down to whether little Jimmy down the street had a clown or Amanda had a magician. Simple contests between parents. Now though those contests have got much more serious. Right now it looks like there are three sets of parents trying to make sure their child has the best Hollywood career. You have Bruce & Demi who are trying their hardest to make sure Rumer gets as many roles without having to do any work as possible. Then there are Will & Jada, who when not having sex seem to be trying to cast Jaden in as many roles as possible. They kind of have the advantage because they have been the producers or stars of the movies in which he is cast. The latest entry into the let me put my kid into a starring role in a feature film without any experience is Tom Cruise. Last year he got Will Smith to put Connor in Seven Pounds. This year Tom wants Connor to hit the big time so he got him into the remake of Red Dawn where he will play one of the lead roles. Yep. Not only are they going to destroy Red Dawn by remaking a classic they are casting it with people whose only acting experience is pretending they actually like seeing their mother when she shows up once a year or trying to fool an auditor.

I think Tom Cruise needs to go back in time to before he became whatever it is he became. He needs to go back to Taps and to Losin' It and All The Right Moves and he needs to think about what would have happened if some guy had wanted his kid for any of those roles even though he had no skills or qualifications or experiences. That someone took Tom's role away from him because the producer wanted to do a favor for a big shot. That is what Tom is doing. He is saying f**k all the other actors out there who were just like me. I am giving my kid the role. I am going to call in favors and throw a tantrum in my lifts if Connor doesn't get to be a star. So, at what point does Connor get to learn the life lessons that Tom learned? When does he get to know what it is like to eat ramen or get excited because he got one line on a crappy television show? All this is doing is passing along an entitlement from one generation to the next and making it harder for people who want to work and have actual proven talent.

Jillian Harris Wants Out Of The Spotlight

When you sign up for The Bachelor and Bachelorette I think whether you are going to be the one doing the picking or being one of the hopefully picked, you know what you are getting into. The producers of those shows don't just drive around streets in a van looking for single people to throw on a dating show. The people who finally get on know exactly what they are getting into and they sign up for it willingly. They don't do it for love or the chance for love. They do it for that 15 minutes of fame and the chance to make a few bucks on the side or if you are Ed Swiderski, a chance to use his appearance as a pick up line for the next ten years. Married or not.

Anyway, Jillian Harris gave some kind of interview to OK! Magazine. She said that tabloids have said the couple is about to split or close to splitting. Whether or not that is complete speculation I think that is a fairly good guess by the tabloids and who can judge whether they are close to splitting. Who knows exactly how many times Ed has cheated on Jillian? What is her breaking point on that? Will it take one more woman to come forward? Two?

Anyway, Jillian says they are more in love than ever and she is going to move to Chicago next month and live with Ed. She is even willing to bring over the beer and condoms. I still can't believe he said that to a woman. That is priceless.

Jillian said in her interview, "[It] claimed Ed and I broke up, when in fact we have not even come close… I really want out of the spotlight so bad. I hate it so much."

Umm you hate the spotlight so much? Seriously? Why did you sign up for the show then? Did you think it was going to be just you and the guys and no one else? You didn't seem to mind the spotlight before you found out your potential husband was a cheater. No one minds the spotlight when things are going their way. It is only when real life starts to creep in and you realize that in the 10 days you knew this guy before he asked you to marry him that maybe you should have known a little bit more about him first. It especially annoys me because wasn't she already on The Bachelor? She went back for more fame. She went back for a second helping so I have absolutely no sympathy for her at all.

Jeremy Piven Loves Mango (The Character, Not The Fruit. Well, Maybe The Fruit Also)

Proving once again that Jeremy Piven is a tool who loves Saturday Night Live, he and Chris Kattan got into a fight. No, not like a fight, fight involving fists and actual body contact. Instead it was a verbal joust that had Piven shooting spittle and Chris doing a whole lot of that awkward fake smiling of his.

According to the NY Daily News, Jeremy and Chris were backstage at Alexa Chung's talk show on MTV. Chris made a joke which went a little something like this. "So, what are you here to promote, your Broadway play?"

Piven then replied, "Well, what are you here to promote? Mango?"

At that point Chris should have known he had won. Piven loves Mango. Maybe he harbors some secret crush of Mango. What happened instead though was that Chris and Jeremy continued to go back and forth with Chris thinking it was all in good fun and Piven starting to sweat and spit and pull out his four remaining real hairs.

At some point Chris realized that Jeremy was actually upset and did the whole, "hey I thought we were joking thing," and Piven said, "I'm getting sued for that s--t! It's not funny!"

Umm, yeah it is actually funny because it is still quite possibly the worst excuse ever given by an adult for missing work. It is the equivalent of the dog eating my homework. However I will say that having seen what puppies do to furniture, walls and shoes it wouldn't surprise me if, over the course of history a dog did actually eat the homework of someone. I doubt however that anyone else in the history of mankind has ever called in sick for eating too much sushi.

When the Daily News called Piven's rep they played some kind of song and dance game and said it was all joking. When they called Kattan's rep they said Jeremy went ballistic.

Kate Gosselin Is Only 34?

I guess in all the stories I have written about Jon and Kate Gosselin I never really paid attention to their age. I have mentioned Jon's age once or twice and I assumed Kate must be upper 30's. Turns out she is only 34. I think I thought she must be older because it feels like they have been in my life for years and years.

Also when someone has 8 kids and they have had them for awhile you just don't expect them to only be 34. You tend to forget they had 6 of them at once and were not having them year after year after year.

I was hoping to go a week without Jon & Kate but TLC has them doing press from dawn to dusk. Oh you thought it was just because they wanted to get their side of the story out? No, no, no. It is nothing like that. Don't you remember when they announced their split and the show took a one month break? They said they wanted some alone time and to respect their privacy and they wouldn't be talking to the media. Of course they wouldn't because their show wasn't on for a month. Last week it started and so now comes the press. Kate was on the Today show, and Jon is doing all of the syndicated shows and E! and Spice.

Remember how Kate was wearing her wedding ring but a few weeks ago gave it up? This morning she was wearing it again and saying it was her "Mommy married to Daddy ring." Whatever. I think TLC told them that rating s need to improve if they want another season on the gravy train so I fully expect Jon to volunteer to do more interviews, offer up Hailey for Hustler and offer himself up to be a guest star in a porn film.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

NY Post Blind Items

WHICH elderly print journalist is deep in the closet and trolls Craigslist for younger men? When one asked him what he does for a living, he replied, "Write nonfiction books, news (can't I be a little discreet?)" .

WHICH unmarried Hollywood couple have an open relationship? He's been sleeping with a much less attractive actress, but she prefers women anyway .

WHICH reality-TV starlets swing both ways? The 20-something co-stars were kissing at a recent getaway and stayed together in a hotel room.