Each week I read GOOP religiously but the blurbs from Gwyneth Paltrow have been just that - blurbs. Then today it happened. Gwyneth decided she needed to tell us about her cleanse for this year. Apparently all of the cleanses she has tried in the past were not good enough because she has something brand new.
This year we are all invited to join her on a juice fast. I know, I know, I looked to see if it included tequila or rum or something, but alas it doesn't.
For all of us resolution detoxers who want to start the year anew, I have asked Doug Evans and Denise Mari, co-founders of New York City’s fantastic Organic Avenue to contribute his knowledge. I discovered Organic Avenue a few years ago through a girlfriend who was about to do one of their fasts, and I joined her on the 5 day program. The result was pretty amazing and the juices and smoothies (esp. the coconut mylk and the cacao smoothie) were so delicious that I imbibe them whenever I’m in NYC. They make a cleanse easy with different degrees of gnarlyness and home delivery if you are in manhattan. If you aren’t, like me, Denise Mari, the juice guru has given us some recipes for a DIY fast.
Don't you just love how she loves us? It turns out though that LOVE is actually just an acronym for live organic vegan experience. That isn't what I would call love. It sounds like something that will make me grab for a Twinkie really quickly. In her note she mentions mylk. Now, I don't know if this is some special kind of milk, or Gwyneth just types as fast as me. I'm guessing her editors didn't know either and were too scared to ask her despite her love so they left it in. I wouldn't be surprised if it isn't some kind of fake milk, but you just never know.
You can click here for the plan. The first thing I noticed is that unlike her Master Cleanse from last year this one is really, really pricey. When Gwyneth sheds weight she goes for the high end.
In order to do her cleanse you need to buy pHour salts ($40), aloe vera juice ($30), chlorophyll - $16 (or just suck on some plant roots I always say), Doc Broc's Green Powder ($94), and juices which cost about $400 for the five day program. There are a couple of other things mentioned also, so if you have $600 for 5 days you too can look like Gwyneth.
I recommend buying some V-8 ($20) and mixing it with tequila ($20), and your five days will be more fun. Sure, you might not lose weight, but hey, it's only January. You still have plenty of time to lose weight.