Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I Just Couldn't Help It


I told myself I would not write about Heidi Montag unless it was something just so over the top that it couldn't be ignored. For almost a year I have not written anything. Not even hinted at their presence in the world. Have you noticed that since other sites also instituted the ban that you never really have them in your face as much as they were? Speidi is slowly disappearing off the fame radar. This is a one time thing, but with Heidi going out and talking about such outrageous things I needed to vent. It is all built up inside.

OK, first she said she is addicted to plastic surgery and had ten procedures in one day. really? Why? For Spencer? For herself? People usually get addicted like that when they have low self-esteem. As much as she talks about herself and how much she likes herself I would say that is the least of Heidi's problems. The best news today though is she said she spent almost every penny of her money recording her new album. She is convinced that her 1M Twitter followers will all buy a copy the first week and she will make all her money back. Uh huh. With titles of songs like Eat My Panties Off Me aka What Spencer Tells His Dog this will be a winner. I also noticed that she said her money. I am pretty sure Spencer didn't spend any of his money on this and would kick Heidi to the curb when she has outlived her usefulness.

If you want to read the most delusional interview ever you have to read this one with Heidi. If you want to read about her addiction to plastic surgery, then click here. OK, I feel much better now.

48 comments:

jadetoo said...

Do Not Want. To Read.

Patty said...

Please reinstate the ban.

flwrgurl said...

I saw this and my jaw dropped. Heidi looked much prettier before the surgeries. BTW doesn't Heidi look like a blond Kim K?

littleoleme said...

Put her in the same box as Tila T.
Now.

RocketQueen said...

I'm with flwrgurl. Her eyebrow positioning and chin are totally different. She looks way older now.
I think I remember many months ago she said she wanted to get bigger breasts for Spencer. This girl is beyond reach.

The Missus said...

I read the interview and WOW delusional is right. I almost feel sorry for her.

Almost.

mikey said...

I didn't even notice she was missing for awhile until it was pointed out to me.

Sporky said...

What a shame. She was cuter before.

She's gonna wind up looking like that Jocelyn Wildentstein woman...

Ol Cranky said...

she looks older than I do and I was born in the 60s

Sporky said...

*Wildenstein

Lisa (original) said...

When I was driving home 2 nights ago, the random thought that I had NOT READ ANYTHING about them in months DID occur to me, and I thought "HOW WONDERFUL the world is again!"

Thanks a lot Ent, :-?

SFG said...

Thank you for posting, Enty. I know there's a ban but this was just too incredible to pass up. Cue the start of her porn career in 3...2...1...

Carrie L. said...

I was just thinking the other day how wonderful it was not to hear about Speidi any more. Drat. I don't know why she felt it necessary to age herself 15 years, but hopefully this desperate effort to remain in the public eye is the end to her 15 minutes. She just looks like an old porn star now.

Pookie said...

omg...why would she do this? she was so cute before. =O

is "Eat My Panties Off Me" an honest to god song title off the album? cuz that's going to drop w/ a resounding thud. ewww.

califblondy said...

I hate to admit, but I was wondering what happened to these two too...

I haven't heard a peep since she was on The View a while back saying she wanted kids and Spencer was in the audience talking about having a vasectomy.

Do we believe she really had that much work done in one day? Is that possible? Too bad she wasted her money on plastic surgery and an album.

DJ said...

wow, what a difference. she looks like someone in their 50s who had work done to look like someone in their 30s. it is creepy.

TinselSass said...

I don't want to read - definitely reinstate the ban - but can someone list the ten procedures? Not because I care that this soulless cretin did ten but because I'm curious about what ten procedures are even possible to perform in one day. That is sick fascinating to me.

Goodgrief said...

Enty, if you EVER feel like you can't help yourself again. Have a few glasses of Jack Daniels and just keep chugging until the feeling passes.reinstate the ban and keep it there where it belongs.

Vanessa said...

wow i feel really sad for her...she must have this really deep self-loathing for her to go to the extreme.

she looks so different...like wow.

I didn't even know that it is possible to shave one's chin down....that sounds so dangerous.

Cheryl said...

For a minute there I thought that Tori Spelling had gotten enough plastic surgery to look decent. Too bad it's Heidi. She must have gone to Rose McGowan's doctor.

sunnyside1213 said...

Her album is as good as Thriller? She is drinking the kool aid.

Kate said...

She is absolutely unrecognizable. That's a shame, she wasn't exactly gorgeous before, but she was cute. Now she looks like one of the "Real Housewives" or a blow up doll, maybe a bit of both.

jax said...

she looks like this chick now..she played grace on Y&R http://media.monstersandcritics.com/galleries/1233048/ALO-01701239385.jpg

bring on the soft core porn!

Harriet Hellfire said...

Soft porn FOR JESUS!

Bad Fish said...

She's lookin' so RuPaul-ish in the face now. And who the hell is proud to be addicted to plastic surgery? Sigh. The same type of person who'd marry Spencer Pratt.

Ms Cool said...

How much did she spend to age herself 25 years? Ridiculous. Look forward to the ban being back on.

Syko said...

When will they ever get it, that actual breasts are more pear- or teardrop-shaped, and those oranges sitting in the middle of your chest scream "IMPLANT!"

Taylor said...

jax- my thoughts exactly!

CANDACE said...

and those cheekbones...ugh.

Theresa said...

If she ever features at a local strip club I might just have to go check it out...

I might even buy a polaroid with her!

RocketQueen said...

@TinselSass:
"Here’s the 10 procedures Heidi underwent (and her husband Spencer Pratt allowed): nose job revision, chin reduction, mini brow lift, botox in forehead and frown area, fat injections in cheeks, nasolabial folds and lips, neck liposuction, ears pinned back, liposuction on waist, hips and inner and outer thighs, buttock augmentation and breast augmentation revision."

Caroline said...

I, too, realized recently that I haven't read anything about these two in a long time and it was wonderful.

Reese said...

Therapy would have been less expensive than surgery. It is actually painful to look at her. Spencer must have some pretty strange ideas about what women are supposed to look like.

Lauren said...

If she keeps it up, she will look like Tamra from the RHWOC.

MCH said...

Superficial....ironic album title.

She sure is optimistic.

Honestly, all that plastic surgery is SCARY. She doesn't even look like the same person. There was NOTHING wrong with what she looked like when she first started the Hills. She was gorgeous. I blame Spencer for her downfall. And the devil.

Painted said...

I cannot believe what she did to herself. I also cannot believe she is all of 23 years old.

Un. Be. Lievable.

mngddess said...

Enty, Enty - for shame!!!! next time you get the urge to talk about Speidi-Freak or The Gosselins or EVEN TILA, please go buy yourself a nice big box of Chikin' Biscuits and munch until the feeling passes.

ballyhoo. said...

she's only 23?! sad. that's a lot to go through for some attention. i'm beginning to think fame is a disease.

Lana's Blog said...

23. So sad, this can't end well.

shakey said...

The two of them are ridiculous. Once The Hills peters out (which it just might after this next season - I don't see how it could run much longer), they'll have nothing.

I can see 2 futures - 1. he dumps her once the show is done (because I think they got married for ratings, nothing more in his eyes) and they drift off into obscurity, or 2. he sells her for soft porn, then on to more hardcore because she's too stupid to leave him.

palealebrew10 said...

I attended college with Heidi's stepsister. Who is actually a pretty cool girl. She didn't like people knowing she was related to Heidi. But from what I understand, Heidi's got some major issues. I feel bad for her, and her relationship with Spencer IS for television(not that that's a huge secret). This girl sold her soul for fame. From what I understand, she was that girl whose self-esteem relied solely on the superficial in high school. And if you bring that sh*t to a place as superficial as Hollywood and get caught up with a show as superficial as The Hills...well, yes, this is what happens.

Barton Fink said...

I know people don't like Heidi and all, and I can see why. I think of her as someone who has ruthlessly exploited the vacuous celebrity industry for her own purposes and walked away with millions. Is this admirable? Not really, but it does make you wonder about the industry itself, from the magazines to the scripted "reality" shows. Heidi and that husband creature deliver content, and the providers pay her for content. It makes me wonder what the celebrity industry is all about.

I agree with the posts above, however, that CDAN should be one area that is Speidi-free. Bring back the ban!

Moriah said...

She is not going to look so hot later.. she'll have to constantly keep up with it and then she's be, you know, cat lady.. Joselyn something. Oh dear.

candid canary said...

My fear is the reason we haven't heard from Speidi is because of her need to disappear and recover from the surgeries. Please oh please let me be wrong!

parissucksliterally said...

someone has a serious case of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Spend the money of therapy Heidi, not more surgery.


Ban reinstated.

cricket said...

Is she trying to steal Nicole Kidman's crown as the most plastic looking woman in Hollywood?

stiffkittens said...

I would not be the least bit surprised if she had all those procedures in order to get back into the magazines/blogs again. Those two were being banned from so many sites/weren't being focused on much due to The Possum et al, and needed something shocking for people to talk about them. My money's on Spencer being the tool that thought it up.

The whole '10 surgeries in one day' thing sounds like attention whoring to me. It's very unusual for someone to have that many in one go, which seems exactly why she/they did it. Also she looks like a drag queen - though given that she's married to that closeted douche, im guessing it's intentional.

Sue said...

What is sad is that in her interviews she keeps saying she wants to be a pop star. Unfortunately, all the plastic surgery in the world won't create talent. She can't create voice that isn't there. (Although, there's a few pop stars out there relying on the studio magic, for sure)