Did you know that John Mayer prefers masturbating to having sex? Well you do now thanks to his Playboy interview you do. Oh, and if you do have sex with him, he won't be thinking about you.
PLAYBOY: Masturbation for you is as good as sex?
MAYER: Absolutely, because during sex, I’m just going to run a filmstrip. I’m still masturbating. That’s what you do when you’re 30, 31, 32. This is my problem now: Rather than meet somebody new, I would rather go home and replay the amazing experiences I’ve already had.
PLAYBOY: You’d rather jerk off to an ex-girlfriend than meet someone new?
MAYER: Yeah. What that explains is that I’m more comfortable in my imagination than I am in actual human discovery. The best days of my life are when I’ve dreamed about a sexual encounter with someone I’ve already been with. When that happens, I cannot lay off myself.
Now that he has all that out of the way he has lots and lots to say about Jennifer Aniston. The thing that fascinated me the most was that he thinks she wishes it was still 1998.
PLAYBOY: Did you send Aniston a copy of the CD after it was done?
PLAYBOY: Maybe she’ll download it from BitTorrent.
MAYER: If Jennifer Aniston knows how to use BitTorrent I’ll eat my fucking shoe. One of the most significant differences between us was that I was tweeting. There was a rumor that I had been dumped because I was tweeting too much. That wasn’t it, but that was a big difference. The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter. I think she’s still hoping it goes back to 1998. She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction. And I always said, “These are the new rules.”
In what will surely be the most controversial thing John Mayer says is that he apparently won't ever have sex with a black woman. He will make music with black people and rappers but he has this to say about actually dating a woman of color.
PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?
MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock.
Wow. Umm, I am sure the KKK can't wait to put you on one of their compilation albums. Seriously? I can't believe he said that. I guarantee you he will apologize for it. He has too. It's outrageous.
He also talks a great deal about Jessica Simpson. He says he was addicted to her sexually. Really? I always get the impression that she is pretty tame. Maybe that is what John Mayer likes about her.
MAYER: It wasn’t as direct as me saying “I now make the choice to bring the paparazzi into my life.” I really said, “I now make the choice to sleep with Jessica Simpson.” That was stronger than my desire to stay out of the paparazzi’s eye. That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me.
PLAYBOY: You were addicted to Jessica Simpson?
MAYER: Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm.
For the entire interview including more than you will ever want to know about his relationship with Jennifer Aniston, his feelings for her and everything else, click here.