Friday, April 23, 2010

The Definition Of Twitterbating


Hello CDAN fans! Jax here. Enty is on a flight and asked me to post a little something to get you through the rest of Friday until quitting time. Buckle up!


So last night I'm checking out some of the latest tweets and I come across what can only be described as inane ramblings from Lindsay Lohan. Wow. I know there is New Jersey bound flatbed of dysfunction in that family, but damn girl, keep it to yourself! What purpose does it serve to tweet for hours about how your dad is a dirtbag and that the paparazzi are lying scumbags? Tell us something we don't know, Lilo. Actually don't. Don't tell us anything more. Keep it zipped. Close your twitter account. Stop Twitterbating. It's self indulgent, self serving and unhealthy. And it might make your palms hairy.

Can you imagine if Daddy Spears had allowed Britney a cellphone and free access to her twitter account? Or a bra? We would have had these gems to look forward to:

"Hey ya'll! @Adnan sux ballz!" or "@JamieLynn is knocked up at 16, you owe me $10, Mom! #babydaddy" or the gas station classic "@velveeta mmm it goes well with @cheetos and @fanta #chestercheetorocks"

I mean really. I love the celeb follow list like everyone else. And if I'm being honest, I only signed up in the first place to see Courtney Love attempt a 3rd grade writing level, but this is getting a little out of hand. At what point does it go from being entertaining and networking to watching a train wreck in under 140 characters? And better yet, who's bringing the popcorn?

"Happy Friday, y'all!!"

-jax

33 comments:

Mooshki said...

LOL, Jax!

BTW, I think you need to adjust the time stamp on this post. :)

KellyLynn said...

Much better. I was all confused seeing this post way back there. Of course, now the obvious question would be:

Are we going to get photos and a Four For Friday today? (I hope!)

jax said...

oops...my bad.i also fucked up the Ted C BI for Enty. that's what happens when you don't read Ted! all fixed.

see people, i am not as savvy at these things to be Enty as well as my accident prone self.

TGIF!

No pics today, sorry from Enty.

Borg Queen said...

Well said Jax. But that is the difference btwn Lohan and SPears family. WHile both maybe trailer trash, Spears family at least cares what goes on in their cash cow's lives and put a stop to the insanity. In Lohan's family, the parents and the kdis are perperating the insanity. I mean who lets a 16 yr old live with their cokehead daughter. While Jamie Lynn was prolly just as wild as Britney, she seems to have settled into a quiet life raising her daughter.

Syd said...

God, wouldn't it have been great?

Cheryl said...

I don't really get the whole Twitter thing. I love hearing about celebrities but I don't really need to know every thought that crosses their often empty minds.

I don't get Facebook either. Maybe its because I'm 43 though I have friends my age who use it.

As far as the Lohan's, they have scary personal issues that are being played out publicly, much to the detriment of all involved. If and when they decide (individually or collectively) to get better, they will need to leave the public eye and focus on rehab and healing.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

So, Ent hasn't been posting at all today?

Harriet Hellfire said...

I am on Facebook way too much but I don't get Twitter. I have it. I twat maybe once or twice a month, when I remember.

jax said...

besides this and Ted C, it's all Enty. i always sign my stuff.

califblondy said...

OMG, I'm so damn addicted to Cafe World on Facebook, yet I barely cook in real life.

I signed up for Twitter and then forgot about it. I sometimes read the celeb Tweets on Eonline, but it's usually promotional crap.

When the Lohan train finally wrecks and we know it will, can Tweets be used in a lawsuit? Get back to me on that, willya Ent?

Syko said...

Love me some Facebook - and Cheryl, I have kids older than you, so it's not an age thing. I still don't really get Twitter but I'll confess to signing up for it, because there's a blogger I love to follow (SundryMorning) who's hysterically funny and I love her tweets - and then I also decided to follow Lilo - but she had posted some pics and looking at them gave my computer a virus (computer STD?) so I don't go there any more.

Mooshki said...

Sue Ellen, when Enty is busy he writes the posts in advance and puts a time stamp on them so they'll post to the blog at a certain time.

Enty really does write all the posts except for the ones with someone else's name on them. I don't mind if you don't believe me, though. I love a good conspiracy theory! ;)

califblondy said...

Syko, check out Moms Who Drink and Swear on Facebook. Hilarious.

Syko said...

@califblondy - I think I'm a fan of that one already. Haha!

I'm also a MouseHunt fiend and Bejeweled Blitz is fantastic for a quick time filler.

jax said...

as someone resisting smart phones etc. i just discovered you can set up twitter and facebook for texting. HOLY SHITBALLS! now i am addicted. ok facebook has always been a prob,but now that you don't have to be at your computer to interact on both...wow.

no more waiting in long lines bored out of your tree!

Robert said...

Love that phrase, "Twitterbating!" Why does every random thought, conversation, occurence, idea, fart or belch have to be relayed to untold numbers of followers moment by moment? Maybe I just don't get it. And one critique for Jax: in the Britney tweets, your grammar and spelling are far too good!

KellyLynn said...

@jax - We appreciate you pinch-hitting for Enty, just the same.

I'm on Facebook a few times a day, even if I can't stay there long. I was doing some of the Zynga apps, but our connection out here is so flaky, it's hard to even get it to load. Even when I play the games, I do my best not to let anything post to my wall. I'm too self-conscious about people thinking I have too much free time on my hands, or getting annoyed by crap that's useless to them.

I was doing twitter regularly, but I've slacked off on that, too (again, flaky connection. Living in podunk sucks.)

Syko said...

KellyLynn, I understand your not wanting things to go to your wall. What I really hate is the chatting thing, I hate chatting, and besides my Facebook is always open, but mostly minimized, because you can sound the horn in MouseHunt every 15 minutes, so I go do other things and just stop back by from time to time to sound my horn. People are always trying to chat with me. I usually just ignore them. Heh.

Funny thing, though, I work for a law firm, and one of the partners' wives used to be our receptionist (that's how they met back when he was an associate). She's sort of socially inept and when she worked here I used to take pity on her and go to lunch with her from time to time. She's very important now, and one day I was home sick and was on Facebook and she started chatting with me and said "What are you doing on Facebook at 10:00 on a workday?" I could have said the same to her, she works as a social worker, but it was so obvious that she thought she'd busted me. I unfriended her after that, but she caught on and requested again.

My ex-husband is on FB, but has me blocked. Hahahaha! We've only been divorced since 1979, he holds a grudge for awhile. But seriously, I keep up with my grown kids through it - even though they all call home, it's fun to see their day to day activities, and I've run into quite a few old friends. I love it.

jax said...

wow,first time i've complimented on my grammar...as you all can see. ;o)

jax said...

you can turn chat off on facebook. i have since day one. and i block if i'm online or not. facebook on my terms,thankyou!

best thing about twitter is the ability to tell dumb celebs what's what. they barely if ever read it,but it might brighten your day! start with dumbshit mcgee
@evilc-unt (spelled without space)
i mean why the hell not? it ain't friday until you've told a nazi to suck it.

jax said...

oops i guess the - was redundant! sorry bout that.lol.

califblondy said...

I didn't know I could turn off FB chat. Thanks for the info.

Jax, I think the c-nazi has sucked it... lots. ;)

Merlin D. Bear said...

I still say the Lohan clan's use of Twitter verges on genius.
You don't have to pay a publicist and you're garnering more attention on a far more regular basis than you would using the services of said publicist.
After all, the only true "rule" of publicity is this one..."it doesn't matter what they say about you, as long as they spell your name right".

lutefisk said...

I found out if you put certain people in a group on facebook, you can put that group on & off line, without losing the chatting of people you really want to chat with.
People who annoy me too much are in that group. Now I can chat with the ones I really want to chat with!

jax said...

merlin, normally i'd agree but i think in Lilo's case it's just solidifying people's opinions of her.
shit, i don't make movies and even i wouldn't work with her!

Merlin D. Bear said...

@Jax - In my defense, I did say bordered on genius... there's no way you can call anything that drug-addled ninny does "genius"... of course, there's a fine line between genius and insanity.
Not that she hasn't crossed it...but just sayin'.

Bella said...

Hear, hear, Jax!! My blog is way more interesting than Lilo's tweets =)

MCH said...

@Jax - I thought this post was going to be about people "taking care of business" whilst reading Twitter. See where my mind is tonight...

Imagine Britney? I can't imagine ME having a Facebook/Twitter while back in HS or College. Let's just say, I would have gotten myself into a lot of trouble. Def. agree people need to tone down on the social networking about personal stuff.

I consider FB a place to keep up with family, high school and college peeps. I use Twitter to follow celebs, TV, bands, etc., but I also follow a lot of local news that way too. I live in quite the twittering town. It came in handy to find out about the 7 person shooting while I was in NOLA a few weeks ago....that sorta real-time stuff.

Entyisaliar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
shakey said...

I'm both, but I mostly read the twitter updates. Spencer Pratt was on fire today - he took pot shots at Kate Gosselin, the Lohans, Hayden Panettière, JLo ... people aspire to the level of snark he was at. Of course it's all hypocritical for him to comment. Maybe that's what makes it more amusing.

I've become addicted to blip.fm. I found it through twitter. I like discovering new-to-me songs. It's basically a social network with music.

I've fanned the moms who drink and swear page, but lamebook and regretsy make me cry with laughter.

If you're not into facebook, try lamebook.com and see some truly funny stuff from facebook.

Bad Fish said...

lol that's funny that you just figured out the texting bit, Jax. Remember that time I smelled hot dogs all over down town Seattle? Was text-Tweeting that the whole time.

jax said...

i know, i'm a dork. i thought it was everyone and their smart phones using the app. *shrug*

Big Sur Expedition 2008! said...

Mmmmm Seattle dogs are the best!!

Just so you all know, because I never know until I moved here - they're hot dogs with cream cheese and grilled onions. I can't even tell you how delish they are after a pub crawl. *slurp*