So last night I'm checking out some of the latest tweets and I come across what can only be described as inane ramblings from Lindsay Lohan. Wow. I know there is New Jersey bound flatbed of dysfunction in that family, but damn girl, keep it to yourself! What purpose does it serve to tweet for hours about how your dad is a dirtbag and that the paparazzi are lying scumbags? Tell us something we don't know, Lilo. Actually don't. Don't tell us anything more. Keep it zipped. Close your twitter account. Stop Twitterbating. It's self indulgent, self serving and unhealthy. And it might make your palms hairy.
Can you imagine if Daddy Spears had allowed Britney a cellphone and free access to her twitter account? Or a bra? We would have had these gems to look forward to:
“Hey ya'll! @Adnan sux ballz!” or “@JamieLynn is knocked up at 16, you owe me $10, Mom! #babydaddy” or the gas station classic “@velveeta mmm it goes well with @cheetos and @fanta #chestercheetorocks“
I mean really. I love the celeb follow list like everyone else. And if I'm being honest, I only signed up in the first place to see Courtney Love attempt a 3rd grade writing level, but this is getting a little out of hand. At what point does it go from being entertaining and networking to watching a train wreck in under 140 characters? And better yet, who's bringing the popcorn?
“Happy Friday, y'all!!”