Wednesday, May 05, 2010

US Weekly Cracks Me Up


I understand the need for each tabloid or practically any magazine this time of year to do a bikini body issue. It has to be done. Every year, you the reader, will learn what you can do to lose weight so you look good in a bikini. Never mind that it is the same five or ten things they told you last year, they still publish it because they know someone is buying it. Fine. I get it. I think everyone looks great all the time, but, that is easy for a 400 pound man to say. Everyone looks better than me.

What I don't understand is this. At least twice and maybe three times now in the past few months, US Weekly has said that Kristin Cavallari is a huge cokehead. Coke coke coke. According to them it seems like that is all she does. Oh, and steal golf carts with her ex Jason Statham. While on coke. Not Jason. Do you think?

So, who does US Weekly use for their bikini body article? You got it. Kristin.

5 Steps to Get Kristin Cavallari's Bikini Bod

Want to look like Kristin Cavallari in a bikini this summer? While the Hills star, 23, admits she attends Burn 60 classes (she was there over the weekend with Audrina Patridge) "kicks [her] a*s" -- she also allows herself to cheat by eating "whatever you want" one day a week.

They then give five more tips to lose weight. What they don't say is that she probably got that body by not eating and doing coke all the time. That is the best weight loss product going for you. If a magazine knows someone is doing drugs and have reported on it frequently, then why would you use that same person to say how you, the reader, can achieve her bikini body? You can't get it unless you are doing coke. They have already said she uses it.

Pick someone else.

25 comments:

TR said...

Now you're making too much sense :-)

sinkabella said...

I thought the SAME exact thing! As I was reading it I said out loud to myslef when I read only the part "5 Steps to Get Kristin Cavallari's Bikini Bod" -- do coke, coke, coke, coke, coke..such hypocrites

chihuahuense said...

wtf is she wearing and where is she wearing it?

RocketQueen said...

Mind boggling.

califblondy said...

Chihuahuense, she's at Aria (a new hotel/casino in Vegas). I was there last weekend and a young lady walked thru the casino in a bikini and gold stilettos. I guess that's the usual attire?

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

It's the three c's diet. Coke, caffine and cigarettes.

Vanessa said...

hasn't she always been naturally thin....so why would they ask her for advice.

chihuahuense said...

huh, califblondy. That is effin hilarious. I was just talking about women walking around like hookers, yet when I try my damndest to be discrete and nurse my child there are always gawkers and people that stare like I am offering up my boob to anyone passing by. Maybe I should move to Vegas so I can get some peace.

Or maybe I should just wean my damn 80 lb 11 month old.

Sorry! End boob rant.

jess said...

Everyone can lose weight if one's an addict and prefers to do coke than eating a burger.

It's obvious they (celebs) have a very different life style, if someone has a personal trainer, a chef, a maid and all of the money to buy products to lose weight or stay young, then I don't see the trick...they don't work/study from 8-6 p.m. they can work out all morning if neccesary and have a healthy meal right there waiting at the table.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

@chihuahuense

Once I saw this womans full nip and boob, just hanging out there in a shoe store. The kicker? She was wearing a hijab. It almost blew my mind completely. I don't think I ever fully recovered.

chihuahuense said...

that's just the thing!! I am too prudish to ever show nip!!! they just know what I am doing so they are all up in my kool-aid. Believe me I saw nip once in Wal-Mart and the kid wasn't even nursing and I was shocked. It doesn't bother me, but it does make you say "whoa! WTF!" real quick.

Beca said...

this is horrible. although, maybe "cokehead"is actually the ideal hollywood believes we should strive for. personally, i'd rather be disciplined with my diet and exercise (even though i hate it) than shove poison up my nose.
but maybe that's just me.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

It didn't really bother me, seeing a boob, it was just the fact this lady was so nonchalant about it. I mean, someone who can't even show their hair can have a boob swinging around a store? Really?

Unknown said...

Omg, @Sue Ellen Mishkey and @chihuahuenese, you girls are cracking me UP!!

a1r1ka said...

Isn't this in reference to the blind a week or so ago about a girl who owes her whole career to a magazine writing bad things about her? She admitted she has a deal in place that allows them to write horrible things, but in exchange her name brand has exploded and they pay her big bucks.

Lots of guesses were for Kim K, but seems like maybe it's this tramp.

Daveb said...

I recall a blind in the last week or two about a celeb agreeing to be made famous by a magazine in return for giving them a carte balanche on what they could write. Kristin would make sense because otherwise I don't understand why she wouldn't be suing this magazine for calling her a cokehead. Even if the magazine could prove she was it wouldn't explain why, of all the cokeheads in Hollywood, they choose to "out" her alone.

bflogurl said...

Her head is *really* large compared to her body.

Linnea said...

hahaha, i understand why that would surprise you!
i feel the same way about women who wear the hijab and then a lot of make up at the same time. The way I was taught was that the hijab was supposed to shield you from mens attention and lust, and wearing make-up is kind of like trying to do the opposite in my opinion! :)

Pookie said...

ooooh....Daveb...good point!

taco said...

jason "statham"??? does he mean jason wahler? i can't see statham even acknowledging her.

taco said...

jason "statham"??? does he mean jason wahler? i can't see statham even acknowledging her.

NotOprah said...

What taco said! Jason Statham? Really?

ChasingHeaven said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!! Good call Enty!

taco said...

color me wrong. i just read about kc and js stealing the golf cart. lost all respect for statham.

jaariel said...

Thank You! I think about these rags' double & triple standards all the time! "So-&-so is riddled with STD's! Oh, but check out her bangin'bod!" It's insanity! But, Lord help me, I love the gossip...

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