Friday, August 13, 2010

Ted C Blind Item

It's the oldest story in Hollywood: sex for hire. But unlike some other Blind Vice candidates we've covered over the sleazy years, Bernadine Couch-Butt's Tinseltown rise didn't involve any sex that was contractually required. Bernie snagged her big, successful horny director man the old-fashioned way: wearing a nightie. Yep, a see-through job just happened to be what Bernadine was wearing when they first met, lucky for Bernie.

Because she's now well on her way to donning equally lusty outfits in...

A meaty role in Attack of the Mopey Mothballs, her lover's latest ├╝ber-gizmoed-out mega hit!

Funny, though, nobody'll ever really remember Bernie, once Mothballs V, VI and VII come out, a fact Bernadine's blithely dismissing from her pretty little head. But Bernie and big director man are still going at it—on the set, on call, on the funny stuff, whenever and wherever! Who needs to think about things like a future when you're getting laid and you're famous all at the same time, right?

Well, Bernie sure should.

Nobody's getting hurt in this adults-only game; neither lover has a steady partner. But what's totally rich in this typical Hollywood story is how totally fried Bernie's going to get once she's tossed aside, as she will be.

We're only going by experience here when we say this. You see, every one of Bernie's legions of predecessors have not only been ruthlessly discarded by their horny hiring dude, but they've been tarnished and black-listed, as a result.

Only one of these women has survived the taint and gone on to make a name for herself.

Not great odds for our poor, gorgeous Ms. Couch-Butt.

And It Ain't: Ashley Greene, Blake Lively, Vanessa Hudgens

40 comments:

iheartjacksparrow said...

James Cameron's wife?

jen said...

I want to say Megan Fox & Michael Bay but I'm not fully convinced it's them...

Missjenny619 said...

Before you all start on your weekly rant about Ted's language and how it makes your head hurt... save it. Please.

Some people actually want to read all of the guesses to his blinds and not have to read all of the annoying complaints from everyone else.

That being said, I think the director is Michael Bay.

xodettex said...

director: michael bay

actress: rosie huntington-whiteley

MISCH said...

Bay is a pig.....just the thought of it...gross.

jen said...

Nobody's getting hurt in this adults-only game; neither lover has a steady partner.

Ah, OK, def. not Megan Fox & Michael Bay then. Is Michael Bay single though? Because I would put $ on it being him.

selenakyle said...

Wow.

Well, some CDANers need to vent on Fridays, Missjenny, and we usually don't flame each other until someone steps truly, way out of line, since we're usually kinda tolerant, at least those of us who've been commenting for a few years.

We usually just skip comments we don't like...of course there are exceptions...

Jazz Hands said...

Michael Bay and the new VS model-turned-Transformers-actress seem to fit perfectly

ms_wonderland said...

Excellent guess xodettex! Film is Transformers 3.

Rosie is 23, similar age to the aints, and her previous 'experience' is as a Victorias Secret model - thats why she was wearing a nightie!
Also 'nightie' is an English expression, and Rosie is English.

heatherlynn said...

I wonder who he blacklisted and who made it?

Tallulah said...

But isn't Rosie huntington-whiteley still dating Jason Statham? If she is supposed to be unattached that leaves her out, for sure.

But it certainly seems to fit well otherwise!

FluffyElmo said...

My guess for the one who made it would be Scarlett Johannson from the Island. Though maybe she was big enough to get the part without having to deal with Bay.

Blacklisted would probably be Meagan Fox though she may be just well known enough to get other roles.

Kate Beckinsale from Pearl Harbour might be another option for the actress who made it.

The most disturbing thing is that he also produces a ton of awful horror movies like Friday the 13th with a bunch of generic d listers so it's probably gone on much more than you'd suspect.

Missjenny619 said...

SelenaKyle - I'm not 'flaming' anyone in particular. I'm just tired of reading the same complaints every single time Enty posts a TedC blind. It's like "Okay, I get it, you have a headache and you don't know 'TedSpeak' and you need a translator and blah, blah, blah".

Their comments are more annoying than Ted's bizarre language. It gets old. I've been reading this blog and posting comments for more than 2 years.

LKB13 said...

Ridley Scott. Only successful leading lady is Marion Cotillard from A Good Year. Is going to do 3 Alien prequels. Don't know the girl, though

FluffyElmo said...

It just _has_ to be Bay & Rose-whatever. He was directing a Victorias Secret commercial between TF2 and TF3. She was one of the models which explains the nightie when they met. Fox was dumped and she was hired out of nowhere.

Ridley Scott has an Oscar & generally doesn't do sequels so the description of the movies doesn't really match. Bay does nothing but big dumb action movies and bigger, dumber sequels.

The only real question is who the actress who made it is...the rest may as not even be blind.

GauchoGirl said...

This was the first Ted Casablanca that I easily understood and could guess right away. I think everyone is right on with the Michael Bay & Rosie Huntington-Whiteley guess.

On a side note, I read this column regularly and always check out the comments. I don't know any of you personally, but I just found out that a friend of mine who 38 and has been battling pancreatic cancer for the past 10 months just took a turn for the worse. I've been sitting at my desk in a daze for the past few hours and just wish you all a Happy Friday and safe weekend :)

Klondyke said...

so some dude likes to fuck women, then fuck them over once he is done? blacklist them so that they cannot earn future income for themselves.

wow. what type of complex does this fucktard have? he must have been sam hill ugly growing up!

Boriqua said...

GauchoGirl -- Sending positive thoughts your and your friend's way. Stay strong. :)

Mooshki said...

For some people, bitching about Ted is even more fun than trying to guess the blind. :)

bonnjill said...

I'm with Missjenny619 on this one. I've been thinking the same thing for several weeks now. We get it. He bugs you. If you know his writing makes your head hurt don't read the post.

generation veXed said...

I'm so sorry GauchoGirl, I sort of understand your pain, my mum's just being diagnosed with cancer in the gallbladder, liver and small intestine and it's just awful.

Re the blind, it can't be that Rosie chick as she's with Jason Statham isn't she?

sunnyside1213 said...

Isn't Jason supposed to be gay?

And Mooshki is right...bitching about Ted is a pastime on this site. Think I will go over there now and see what the guesses are for this blind.

sunnyside1213 said...

Most everyone is on the Bay train with VS model and ScarJo as the survivor. Or maybe Liv Tyler.

Hello it's me... said...

It's Michael Bay folks...

Case in point:

Armageddon: Liv Tyler (oh where have you gone career?)

Pearl Harbor: Jamie King (a "discovered" former model desperate to act)

The Island: Scarlett Johanson (the only one to break out on her own)

Transformers: Megan Fox (career is fading quick)

Now this Rosie girl...

Lissette said...

Agree with Michael Bay, I totally saw it for him and Rosie.
YAY!

Lissette said...

Agree with Michael Bay, I totally saw it for him and Rosie.
YAY!

Audrey said...

Thank you missjenny619. Those were my thoughts as I clicked into the comments.

MB said...

My very first thought when I saw this entry was "yay, everyone's going to comment about how they hate Ted-speak, etc" and then I see all the comments about just that, lol. Amen Jenny from SD!

Shmooey said...

This guy's writing style really is a mindfuck, and that is a defect as inherent as Dina Lohan's absurd denials, Paris Hilton's whoreness, etc. It WILL be commented upon because it is such a salient feature.
Having said that, this is one of the more intelligible ones.

Don't know who it is. Why would the women be blacklisted for sleeping with a non-attached film maker?

Much worse behaviour has been reported with no professional consequences.

MadLyb said...

I agree it's Bay and that new girl, but I'm confused. Is this blind insinuating that all the past actresses slept with him to get their parts? That would be disturbing.

And oddly enough, I can handle Ted's blinds, but this particular blind did hurt my head. Go figure, LOL.

selenakyle said...

*wink* to Shmooey.

Dude is gay and fancies himself allowed, for some reason, to out gays who don't want to be outed.

He is a dick and a has-been.

That said, I'm not one of the Ted bashers, just thought it was a bit harsh for Friday when we have had a HARD week over here...

No harm, no foul!

(and no guesses, heh heh *sheepish* but I don't give a fuck who is the young whore and who is the user asshole, frankly...)

Have a great weekend, everyone! mwah, mwah

Patra said...

I'm sorry GauchoGirl. Bon courage!

Shmooey said...

@selenakyle: "He is a dick and a has-been."

Is (or was) he famous? I only know him from this site, and assumed he was some blogger with supposedly inside showbiz info.

I'll give him credit for the creative nicknames he comes up with, but then he uses half a dozen variations of said nicknames in the same post, and such convoluted imagery to convey whatever meaning he is trying to express, it almost makes cracking his crazy code a cryptographic exercise.

Robin the Mad Photographer said...

Considering that Liv Tyler was in the Lord of the Rings movies, and has done reasonably well since, I doubt she's been blacklisted. Having said that, Michael Bay makes lots of sense, esp. in light of something Megan Fox said about him in Allure a few months back.

One of the things they always do for the big cover story interview is show the star a batch of photos taken over the course of their lives/careers, and ask for their comments on them. There was one of Megan w/Bay half-hiding behind her but w/his arm around her and hand on her stomach in an odd pose. She (jokingly?) referred to him as looking like "Creepy McCreeperson" in the shot, and methinks she just might be on to something.

As for Ted, well, at least it's not Yet Another Blind About A Closeted Star, eh?

Ellen said...

I was thinking Michael Bay, but is he too obvious? One of my favorite things about these blinds and the guesses is that I always end up learning interesting things about the popular guesses. For example, I had no idea that Michael Bay came up with the whole Got Milk? campaign or that he is a lover of animals. I feel a bit guilty now thinking he is the pervert!

As far as everyone's opinion about Ted goes...I always read his column. I can see MissJenny's point...some days it seems like every comment about his blind is about how much people hate his blinds, but I don't mind people complaining about it in the comments because the nicknames do get confusing.

GauchoGirl, I'm very sorry for your bad news. I don't know any of you on here either, but I feel like there is a great comraderie.

deleted by authority of the Governor said...

Ted's writing gives me a headache. I get halfway through and give up because I can't make heads-or-tails of it.

ThoughtElf said...

As Ben Affleck is the unofficial CDAN blind mascot, bitching about Ted is also tradition, in the same way you can count on Enty to slide bacon in on a post once a week.

You either get CDAN, or ya don't. I'm glad I'm in the cool kids who get it club. :)

sunnyside1213 said...

Speaking of bacon...
Take cinnamon rolls from the tubes, unroll them, lay a piece of bacon on each one (it fits like it was made to go there), re-roll them, and then bake the batch of them. You might have to turn the temp down a bit and bake longer, as the bacon grease can keep the rolls soft, but holy crap is it delish.

julia childs said...

rolls eyes; ted c isn't too much of a has been since, E keeps him on the payroll. at least he gets paid to dish the gossip; can't say that about too many out there.

lutefisk said...

I like the Ted-bashing comments. They are entertaining. Sorry.