Friday, August 20, 2010

Your Turn

We have all seen and heard parents yelling at their kids or losing their control around their kids, and maybe some of us have even seen parents hitting their kids. Well, this week a Southwest Airlines flight attendant took a toddler away from the mother when the mother slapped the toddler. No charges were filed against the mother for her actions and the mom and toddler went on their merry way after the flight. The flight attendant was congratulated for taking the child from the mother but it must have taken a lot of guts to do it. The easiest thing to do is to walk away or ignore it. My question to you today is what would you have done if you were the flight attendant and any stories you have of seeing parents behaving badly to their children in public places.

57 comments:

timebob said...

I am always perplexed by these questions. I don't have kids so it is so hard to say. I once saw a mother wailing on a toddler and I was frozen with not knowing what to do. But someone did step in and stop the mother it got ugly fast.

Who is to say the mother wouldn't turn around and say you are trying to harm her child or kidnap it. People are crazy and you never know what would happen.

Adventurous Kate said...

I want to say that I'd take the child away.

For beating the kid up, of course. But for just a slap? How hard of a slap?

...I don't know that I'd have the guts. But I bet this decision was made at the consensus of the flight attendants, so they had to be in agreement about how bad it was. Having the backup would make it easier.

sandman said...

i would have got in line to smack that little bastard.
it would have been like that scene in airplane
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqrllkAO1uA

Becki said...

I don't believe for a minute that this lady slapped her toddler into next week. I bet she just barley tapped the kids face to get its attention. If that was what happened,then the flight attendant had no right to take the kid from its mom. Now if the mom really did haul off and slap the kid thats different. I still think the mom just tapped the kid. We live in such a PC world that the whole ordeal probably got blown out of hand.

sandman said...

better yet
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOG2MHPQFqY&feature=related

deleted by authority of the Governor said...

I think sandman is joking but kate? really? you're asking how hard she slapped the infant? the kid is a baby. too young to understand the relationship between action and punishment. any slap is too much.

goddamn i hate people. and i especially hate people who prey on the weak.

Becki said...

Ha-ha Sandman! Great movie,a classic!

Maidstone said...

It reminds me of the Seinfeld episode when George confronts a woman yelling and pulling her son though a parking garage. George tells the Mother not to yell at her son and the kid says to George "You're Ugly".
I say - F the kid. Let him fight his own battles.

MCH said...

I am VERY VERY torn on this story. In one instance, I think the FA did the right thing...the other articles I read made it sound like it was more than just a pop, more than once AND the baby had a black eye, so maybe she just drew conclusions?

On the other hand, I'm trying to imagine someone TAKING MY BABY from me on a flight. I might flip out too. I don't know...the mom did say she popped the kid b/c the kid kicked her. I do believe in spanking on SOME occasions but I'm just not sure in this instance and age level it was appropriate.

parissucksliterally said...

At the market years ago, I saw a child ask his Mom what two numbers added together equaled. Her response was, "well, if you don't know that, you shouldn't be in the 2nd grade."

This other woman and I who were nearby, our jaws dropped.

Parents drive with little kids in the FRONT SEAT of the car all the time- THAT makes me crazy.

Just Another Girl said...

Hahaha...Must have been an Indian lady cause we kids got trashed when we were kids and we did badly in Math exams.

But on a more serious note, I've wanted to personally go slap children have made a lot of noise and caused a scene AND mothers who do nothing about it.

Maybe the child was out of control. I've personally had to pinch my cousin's kids cause they were causing too much ruckus - like spitting on my food, messing up my plate, pulling my hair...

I don't mean to sound like a tyrant - But spare the rod, spoil the child.

The airhostess cannot pull away a child from the mother because the kid is always going to think that he/she can get away with whatever he/she does from now on.

That's just my two cents

mom said...

i would definitely do something.

years ago, when we were camping, a little boy in the spot next to us came over to play with my son. he (the other boy) looked like he had cigarette burns on him. but i didn't do anything. i still think about that. i should have done something. i have a hard time with that. one of those regrets i'll carry forever.

i'd have to say/do something because i never want to have any more of those kinds of regrets following me around.

sunnyside1213 said...

If you are in public with a screaming kid and the mother swats said kid on the butt, 1/2 the people in the store are cheering the mother on and 1/2 are thinking what a awful mother.

I can't watch the videos. Where did she slap him?

angie said...

"behaving badly" ???? I think the flight attendant should be slapped for butting in.

angie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
angie said...

a toddler is anywhere up to 5 years old...don't assume this is an "infant"...in that case yeah, don't hit a baby, but my 3, almost 4 year old is well-aware of what she is doing and knows the difference between good and bad....it is our job as a parent to discipline and not let your child walk all over you.

Kara said...

I don't know without being there. The people who support the flight attend maximize the situation. The people in support of the mother minimize. The real truth is probably somewhere in between.

GENERALLY speaking - I think parents have every right to spank but I work on cases where the state has taken people's children away and would say don't ever do it in public.

TaraNator said...

It really depends on the severity of the slap. I do not condone slapping in the face and I do not do it to my children. But that doesn't mean that I haven't wanted to slap the smirk off of a mouthy teenage girl. *le sigh* But, I digress...

Again, it really depends on what exactly happened. Was the child slapped in the face? Slapped on the hand? Slapped on the rear, what? I haven't read about this anywhere else, so I don't know. Face slapping, I don't like it, but I may not have done anything if it was light & done to get the kids attention.Then again, I may have. I'm just really, really against being smacked in the face. My mother didn't do it to me, and her parents didn't do it to her. So...its a whole 'family tradition' thing. lol

Hand or rear slapping.....well toddlers can be little monsters who do things just to see how far they can go.

So...someone tell me...where was the kid slapped?

West End Girl said...

I'm putting a disclaimer up first : I was badly abused as a child so I have no patience for those that do it.

A child is incapable of the type of reasoning that an adult is and smacking an adult is considered assault so why is a child ok to hit?

As for whether or not I'd do something, I would like to believe I would but thankfully it's not occurred. I've seen people yell at kids but in London, someone usually steps in first.

mygeorgie said...

Slapping & spanking are the result of shitty parenting skills. There are other, more effective ways of controlling unruly behavior BEFORE they get so bad the entire crowd is pissed at you.

If the parent is willing to slap their kids in public, what are they doing when no-one is looking? I sure wish someone stepped in & scolded my mother when I was little. Still pisses me off that adults stood by & did nothing for fear of being uncomfortable or called 'nosey'.

Not helping a child getting abused (including 'slaps' & spankings) is like ignoring an old lady crying for help. Shmucks.

Tara said...

If it was as MCH wrote & the toddler had a black eye, I would have jumped that bitch like a flea on a dog. Anyone who abuses children or old people deserve to be beaten to death with their own arms.

Wow....that sounded bloodthirstier than I meant for it to. Excuse me. I may have anger issues today or something. ;-)

BTW...I'm the TaraNator up above. I was signed in with my other name & didn't realize it until I'd posted. Ugh.

Lady J said...

I can't say whether I would butt in or not. It all depends on the situation, if the kid had been acting cranky, unruly, not listening and was being an all around terror, yes I think the mother had every right to pop HER child. She didn't wail on this kid until she was black and blue, she popped her once because she wasn't listening to her.
In most cases people do not butt in because you never know how the parent is going to react. In this case the mother was relieved and willingly let the flight attendant take her child, but the situation could have gotten even worse if the mother objected.
I think most people don't butt in because they don't want to make an already awkward/bad situation worse.

MCH said...

@Tara - That is what several of the news articles on the story said (black eye) but the mom said it was from a dog bite. But I don't think that was found out until later when the airline/management did an investigation. They still let the couple onto the next flight, so I assume they deemed all this innocent...right? I dunno...

@mygeorgie - I do agree that there are more effective ways to discipline (SuperNanny is a big advocate of that) I don't think every parent that spanks = a bad, abusive parent. Some parents overuse spanking, making it ineffective.

Lady J said...

the black and blue bruise on the child was from an accident the child had had a few days before the flight. that had nothing to do with the hit the mother gave her.

Mango said...

I've wanted to slap many an annoying toddler on plane flights. And a few adults. Just sayin'.

Casey said...

If you can be arrested for doing it to someone else's kid, you should be arrested for doing it to yours.

FA's see a lot of shit every day, I doubt they would have taken the kid away for a slap on the butt or anything, it would had to have been something fairly substantial.

Ice Angel said...

OK...I've got a good one! I was at a friend's house for a family get together and her cousin was there with her 10/11 year old daughter and her 1 year old son. This mother got completely wasted and was insisting she could drive home. When her aunt said she would drive they all piled in the car only to change places 2 blocks away from the house. The child jumped out of the car and ran back to the house, fearing for her safety. Mom came back and, in a rage, grabbed the child off a chair onto the floor by her hair and started dragging her across the floor toward the door. I got in the middle, pulled her off her daughter and popped her in the nose. It all went down in front of all of the other young children in the house. I somehow managed to grab the keys and hid them and wouldn't say where until her husband came and picked up his family. I wasn't all that popular that evening, but still feel good about my decision.

sunnyside1213 said...

good for you ice angel.

Ice Angel said...

FYI...I do not know how old the child in this story was, but a toddler is ages 1-2. 3 & 4 years olds are referred to as preschoolers. Children under the age of 1 are typically called infants and chidlren under 3 months are generally considered newborns.

nancer said...

this child was 13 months old. you don't hit a baby and you sure don't smack it in the face. and my problem is if she hits her in public, what does she do at home?
and why didn't they investigate how the baby got a black eye?

Ice Angel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ice Angel said...

13 months old!! And the mother smacked her in the face??? That is insane!!! First of all, I can't imagine hitting any child in the face, let alone a helpless baby. When I first heard the story, for some reason I thought she slapped a toddler across the behind or on the back of the hand or something like that. Slapping a 13 month in the face should be grounds for arrest, in my opinion. That is abuse! Like many have said. If she would do that to her baby on a plane, can you imagine what she does at home???

Paisley said...

What nancer said. Plus, she didn't hit the kid to discipline it. She slapped the kid out of anger.

Harriet Hellfire said...

mygeorgie, I agree with you.

Pookie said...

ice angel, your intervention was awesome!

and eep...hitting a baby is wrong, wrong, wrong...but i gotta tell ya...as a frequent flyer, screeching children are the most irritating thing ever...no ipod or noise-canceling headphones have yet to drown out those extraordinary decibels and volume levels...*sigh*...oh, for there to be a sound-proof baby section aboard planes...*wishful thinking*...

SittingPat said...

I once reprimanded a young woman who was having her credit rejected because as she was waiting to talk to the manager she slapped her 1 year old baby because it started crying. I told her, "People like you don't deserve to be parents." She responded, "This is my kid and I'll do what ever I want." I was VERY upset. When I got home I called my friend who is a social worker and she said, "Don't ever confront some one like that in public. You have just publically humiliated them. They will probably go home and beat the hell out of their kid(s). It's a tough call, but if you can't call the police, shut up."

Ice Angel said...

Problem is, Pookie, is that kids are people too, ya know? They need to fly and take busses and coexist in the world we live in. As a parent of 3, I can tell you that they are unpredictable and the best you try to keep them in check they have that annoying thing called "free will." When you think of how difficult it is for us as adults to travel on a place and be cooped up for hours on end, just imagine what it is for a small child, being told to stay in their seats and be quiet all that time.

Krab said...

I once had a flight attendant reprimand me for smacking my horrible sulking teenage daughter on the hand. I forgot exactly what she was doing--shoving me when I was trying to buckle my seatbelt while loudly complaining about how fat I was, I believe--but believe me she was in the wrong. And of course the nosy flight attendant had to butt in.

Karmen said...

The mothers that come in the store are the complete opposite of this. They do nothing and let their kids run amuck. They're kids, I understand. But what I don't understand is why the parents can't control their kids. Tell them to behave, bribe them, remove them from the situation, anything but let them hurt themselves (or hurting them by slapping).

Sometimes I have to intervene and tell the kids not to bang their heads against the mirrors, or else they'll hurt themselves. Most the times the mothers aren't even paying attention. It's sad that I have to stop doing my job to do the mother's.

I've never had a parent treat their child poorly while I'm at the store. Honestly, I'd like to say that I'd step in, but I'd be too scared. I'd probably tell them to leave. If they're going to treat their kids like that in public, god only knows how they'd react to a stranger who's telling them how to raise their kids. People are crazy.

B626 said...

I saw two 20something parents pass their adorable but very fussy 1 year old daughter back and forth to eachother so that they could get in some quality PSP time.
Felt so sorry for the lttle girl.

jax said...

parents if you are going to smakc on your child inpublic then don't be surprised when you get the evil eye or told off.

anything you can't do to another human being legally should be same for kids. yours or anyone else.

lollydarling said...

"Maybe the child was out of control. I've personally had to pinch my cousin's kids cause they were causing too much ruckus - like spitting on my food, messing up my plate, pulling my hair...

I don't mean to sound like a tyrant - But spare the rod, spoil the child."

Nice. Ever try just picking the kid up and removing it from the situation? All of you advocating hitting, pinching or smacking small children are no better than kids yourselves, and sadly, you were, I'm sure, raised by violent adults. Try not to pass abuse down through the generations rather than promoting it, people. I totally agree with Jax on this (hey, a first!) Kids are not your property to abuse.

TONIc said...

I had four children, and there were occasional smacks to the rear end to get their attention. Once smacked my teenaged daughter in the face, but believe me, she deserved it. And, I remember when my two-year old ran away from me and headed for the road. That was the only public spank I ever gave. (Never yelled at them in public either--they were taken away if they had a melt down.) They are all adults, and none of them think they were physically abused in any way. As for the airplane situation, I just can't judge based on the details I've heard. I hope the police who let them off were confident that the mother was not an abuser.

redronnie said...

I work for a child protection agency - I have heard enough stories from troubled children to sail a boat on their tears..no one, no one gets away with hitting their child no matter the situation. I would have been in the woman's face and slapping a business card in her hand and walking away with the child as I contacted police services - I would rather act with the best interests of the child in mind then walk away and not sleep for a night or two.

mngddess said...

Hey Angie - if you're smacking your child inappropriately I'm taking it away from you. You raise your kids right this doesn't happen. Just because you have a womb and can spit out a kid does not make you a good parent. If anyone should be smacked it's the parent.

My kids have been on many flights (and been to restaurants and to the mall) and I thoroughly enjoyed taking them out. they never were a problem.

Thank goodness for the flight attendant.

fairylights said...

Ever try just picking the kid up and removing it from the situation?

On an airplane? Not sure how that would work.

Look, I've raised (or am raising) 3 kids, and while there was the occasional smack on the bottom for things like running in to the road as a 2-4 year old, I found a death glare to be much more efficient and effective. Especially as all three knew that retribution at home would be horrible. Not physical, but disgusting chores do make a point! Or sitting on your bed with no interaction. Anyway, my point is that a 13 month old is WAY too young to smack. If you're smart you pack a hole boat load of things to entertain and distract, obviously these people didn't think of that.

Oh, and a dog bit causing a black eye? Have trouble seeing that one.

Jasmine said...

EXACTLY what redronnie said

Jasmine said...

and for those of you advocating any violence, even spanking, for children, why dont you look into studies that have been done on kids raised with violence in households and see what kind of person they end up being. Its been shown many have difficulty with anger problems themselves and just in general lead harder lives.
We are raising kids to eventually be grown ups here. Lets try to send these kids into the real world as non -fucked up as possible, shall we?

reticulation said...

Having known friends who were abused children, I think I'd reluctantly hold my tongue. You never know what'll happen once they get home. The parent could be like, "see what you made me do?"

Sara said...

I have a 14 month old and I would NEVER smack her. First of all she is too young to know any better. I have been kicked, pinched, etc. she is not doing it on purpose, she is a baby, she is just moving around. Yes, sometimes it shocks me and it hurts, but she does not know what she is doing, nor is she doing it on purpose. You can't just react impulsively about it.
I try to always be attentive to others people feelings because I know how it is, kids used to drive me crazy! If we are at a restaurant I will take her out and let my husband finish and vice versa. On an airplane is a totally different story. We fly a lot so the baby has been on several flights already. Granted, she has been very well behaved, but there is nothing you can do on a plane. Some kids have terrible ear problems and parents just can not do anything about that. When they are older I have some different opinions but at 13/14 months etc. there is not much you can do. Sorry...

shakey said...

If someone had the guts to take a child away from the parent, even just to cool down, it must have been quite the slap.

Many years ago I saw a woman come out of a grocery store pulling her screaming child along (she had one bag of groceries). She pulled so hard the child swung up then she just dropped her to the pavement, so the poor kid landed on her tail bone. All I could see was a perfect O-shape on the mouth, then the scream of pain began. The mother yelled at her to shut up. I , who was some distance away, and a man closer to her both yelled at the mother. She found a taxi quick, piled in and took off. It really marked me.

Not so long ago, a frazzled mother was shopping and her son (almost toddler) was obviously pushing her buttons. Every time she tried to look at something on a shelf the baby would screech. I offered to just stand there while she did what she needed to do. She told me to fuck off.

After that, my husband said I should never help people again.

shakey said...

sorry - should read just stand there and entertain/distract the baby while she did what she needed to do.

sprinkles said...

Years ago, my father was in the hospital recovering from a heart attack and subsequent surgery. He asked for a specific magazine which wasn't carried in the hospital gift shop so we went to Target to look for it. I saw a woman there put her child down on the floor in the book section and walk away. This child was not even old enough to walk yet. The baby used the bookshelves to pull herself up, then grabbed several books and threw them down. I stood there open mouthed and just watched the baby. I couldn't believe the mother would leave the baby there and go down another aisle! I wish I would've said something to the woman but I didn't.

A few years ago, I was on the upper floor of the mall. A woman stepped on the escalator behind me. I didn't pay much attention to her until her daughter landed face first on the step just ahead of me. The mom quickly picked the baby up but did absolutely NOTHING to calm her daughter down. I asked if the baby was alright. The woman ignored me so I kept asking. Several minutes later, she finally told me the baby was fine. How she would know this without even paying attention to the screaming baby in her arms, I'll never know. It really shook me up. In the mean time, her five year old or so son is standing there behind her with a stroller. The baby had on the stroller going down the escalator before she fell out. Later on, I saw this same woman holding her baby who had by now calmed down. Her young son was behind her pushing the stroller and trying to keep up.

Both of those stories made me think those woman didn't deserve those children.

DarknessFalls said...

Well - I have a 1.5yo and they do know what they are doing to some extent.

He constantly smacks the cats HARD, and then yanks their hair until they are forced to pull their own hair out to get away from him, after several attempts to convince him to be gentle by petting him, I smacked him on top of the head. He did not like it, but now IS gentle to the cats.

This child kicked her, probably because the child wasn't getting its way. I don't condone smacking the kid in the face, but a simple smack on the top of the head may have interrupted the meltdown that was coming.

You don't know this kid, or this mother, and having a kid this age, I would have killed that flight attendant for taking my baby from me.

__-__=__ said...

13 months old?!?!?! WTH is a kid that age doing on a plane? With other people?? Do ya think the kid might get unruly during the flight? The kid is in a public place. If the kid can't act properly in a public place keep it at home!! Nobody wants to see that. I'm not paying to put up with any of that, just to fly on a plane to a destination. WTH are people even thinking?

On a flight, kid behind me behaving badly, possibly older than 9, younger than 14. Parents explaining that the kid has some mental type disease and doesn't like FLYING! WTH!!! Seriously, put that kid on a train or in a car or just anywhere away from me. Get that kid off the plane. Idiot parents!

This is truly the age of entitlement at the expense of everything and everyone.

Dawn said...

I agree with everyone above that it's hard to say.

With that said, I wanna smack the sh!t out of toddlers on airplanes everywhere.

That's why I don't have any. : )

Dawn said...

I do have a "nasty look" that can make children stop crying though.