Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Burlesque Makes Its case For A Razzy


I think I have read four reviews for Burlesque. In at least three of those reviews someone has cracked the line that it is Showgirls without the nudity. Considering that was the only reason to watch Showgirls this does not bode well for Burlesque. My favorite review so far has been Marshall Fine's review in which he said, "There’s nary a surprise to be had, except for Aguilera’s apparent misconception that she has acting talent."

Another review said something like Christina has actually become a worse actress than she was on The Mickey Mouse Club. Wow, that is harsh and probably deserved. I have yet to find a good review for this movie. I have been waiting to see the reviews to see if it could somehow resurrect Christina's career but it looks like this will just firmly set up her place as the headliner with Jessica Simpson on a tour featuring Debbie Gibson and Tiffany as the opening acts. I think they will call it the, "I Used To Be Kind Of A Big Deal" tour.

As for Cher and her acting, Fine says, "Cher, who looks like her face last had working musculature circa 1990, plays the one-time star and club owner."

Has anyone seen a good review yet?

33 comments:

shakey said...

I predicted this as being the Showgirls of this century.

Saw Xtina last night on Conan. Was she wearing a wig? Her hair looked awfully dry, and fake.

rebellious, contrary and nice said...

Cher should know better. She is rich and should not feel that she needs the attention that badly. Cher may not be able to get plum roles, but a damn cameo in a sure hit would have been better.

I'll see it on cable like I saw Showgirls.

Mark said...

Ronni Chasen said she'd rather die than do PR for "Burlesque."





-----------------------------
Okay, okay, I'm sorry! But it's the movie business. It's Hollywood. It's the comment section of a web site...

Patty said...

Too bad for Christina as she can acutally sing. Just stop the gimmicks already, and the cartoonish appearance.

amoteafloat said...

Yeah. This looks dreadful. I love you Cher, but no. I don't think so.

You know what kinda blows, though? Xtina might have a sagging career right now, and from what I've seen, she can't really emote onscreen at ALL -- but she's still got one of the best female voices in American Pop music right now. Christina, Kelly Clarkson, Pink, and Beyonce are the only ones I can think of whose voices are naturally strong. Most of those Top 40 harlots are ridiculously autotuned and overproduced to hell -- or they just really can't sing at all (*cough, cough*, *sideeye*-->Katy Perry) -- but Xtina really DOES have tremendous vocal range, and at least she doesn't do that fluttery, Mariah Careyish melismatic bullshit.

I guess I just don't think she deserves to disappear into pop culture oblivion is all. If people still shit themselves over Streisand, Xtina will prolly get some love twenty years from now, too.

Plus, "Dirrrrrrty" (Or is it "Diiiiiirty"? WTF?) was awesome.

iheartjacksparrow said...

Rotten Tomatoes is your friend:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/burlesque/

Currently at 47% so someone likes it.

Jasmine said...

Common, this is going to be SOOOO much better (and by better I mean deliciously horrendous) than Showgirls.
That movie didnt have two massive diva egos, loads of overthetop singing, and a storyline that sounded tired and done to death. This will be the shiz ala From Justin to Kelly only better! I cant wait!!!

ms snarky said...

I read a review that said this is a career-ender for Cher, which if it turns out to be, is sad.

Mango said...

Xtina doesn't realize that they campy, eyelash fluttering stuff she does in videos does not translate to the big screen. Her ego is so big that it never occurred to her that she can't act.

And Cher will always have a home in Vegas, where she goes to perform for a few months whenever her bank account needs a top up.

kathrynnova said...
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kathrynnova said...

no, haven't seen any reviews, nor have i seen it (and likely will not). LOVE LOVE LOVE cher always, but christina i just can't stomach.

plus, why are people ragging on cher for her plastic surgery (which is super old news anyway) and not on christina's which is far worse?? she's NASTY!

just curious.

FS said...

Christina can save herself by taking off the pushup bras and tacky clothes, getting rid of the over done platinum hair color, toning down the makeup and releasing an acoustic album and video. She still has some of the meanest pipes in the business and they are the only thing that can save her. However, I doubt she would ever listen to anyone who offered her that advice.

BigMama said...

My daughter and I will probably watch this on DVD. Much like we enjoyed the master piece of J-Lo and everyone's favorite blind guess (Ben Affleck) Gigli, or as we fondly refer to it Jiggly. Some movies are just to deliciously awful not to be enjoyed. :) I can't wait for Family Guy to take a shot at it.

amoteafloat said...

HA! Ain't nuthin' gonna end Cher's career. She's already lived enough of ONE career to swallow up the piddling accomplishments of several current starlets, thankyouverymuch.

RocketQueen said...

Agree with Patty. And the same goes for Timberlake.

timebob said...

Before this movie even came out it was tracking pretty badly.

The Director is Steve Antin brother of Pussycat Doll creator Robin Antin. All fluff and no substance runs in the family I guess.

Maja. With a J. said...

It looks like it will be awful, but I probably will watch it when it comes out on DVD (which, by all accounts, seems like it will be sooner rather than later) - I cannot resist a movie that has Cher in it.

But since when do burlesque performers sing? The ones I have seen just wobble around aimlessly on stage until the "finale" happens where they have tassels on their tits and spin them around like propellers.

Theresa said...

When I saw Christina on Letterman (I think), I thought I was looking at Snookie in a blond wig. She is oranger than usual and very round of face.

MS said...

Slate gives the movie a good review..

http://www.slate.com/id/2275851/?from=rss

Susan said...

Oh puhlease - Career ender for Cher? Give me a break. Cher will always be a goddess. Every star has a flop or a mistake in their repertoire.

As for Christina. She needs to take a year or two off and make a major comeback a la Mimi post-Glitter. Granted, I think Mariah Carrey garnered more respect in her hey-day than Christina. Christina always comes off as trying too hard, but she is seriously under rated. Maybe this film will be a humbling experience for her?

Too bad, because I was hoping it would be decent. I'm surprised Stanley Tucci would be a part of something that has hot mess written all over it.

nancer said...

i wouldn't ever see this, but did anyone expect it to be good?? i do love cher. when the world ends, she'll go on, i'm convinced.

Bish said...

Agreed that Cher and Stanley Tucci won't be impacted by terrible reviews/poor ticket sales. Tucci was Oscar-nominated for "The Lovely Bones" last year, and his most prominent roles have him with Meryl Streep. And Cher is Cher!

I wonder about Christina. I don't think she'll be humbled if the movie fails, since she has such a massive chip on her shoulder that it blocks any ability to look at her own contributions to her problems. She's haunted not by a lack of raw talent, or even by putting out a bad product (though she does more often than not) -- she has issues because people besides me simply can't stand her.

rebellious, contrary and nice said...
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rebellious, contrary and nice said...

Cher is 64 and I don't care how much one likes her. The studio will take her age and this movie into consideration in regards to future roles and movie deals. Cher may not have much of a movie career left.

Ashton said...

The majority of the reviews I've read have said Burlesque is a tired, cliche story but the musical performances make you forget about the thin plot.

I like Christina a lot. I want her to be wildly successful because she's talented. This year has just been a stumbling block because her album didn't do well, now the divorce. She kind of needs Burlesque to be a hit.

I plan on seeing the movie because I love musicals and I'm not taking this movie seriously. I want the song and dance and make-up and costumes. I never pay attention to reviews anyway.

K said...

I don't care how bad it's gonna be, I am gonna be there on Dollar Night. I am gonna get my tipsy on, grab the biggest bag of popcorn, and ENJOY!!!!

B626 said...

The way the PR machine has been pushing this movie soo hard over the top I figured something was wrong.
Basic cable, two years max.

PollyPureBred said...

So "Showgirls" sucked. How many times have you seen it? You know the plot, the stars, and admit it - you watch it every time it is on cable. I don't think anyone signed up for this "Burlesque" to win an Oscar.

Henriette said...

What I really want to know is if Xtina is preggers, 'cause she looks like she is.

Of course the movie is a bomb, just look at the trailer.

bitterella said...

The SF Chronicle loved it:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/11/24/MV8E1GFJU8.DTL

MCH said...

I thought it looked pretty good. :)

Agree with others on Christina's voice.

hailes said...

AVClub gave it a good review.. at least saying it is good if you know what you are expecting..
http://www.avclub.com/articles/burlesque,48190/

Karmen said...

OK, not a review but my friend just watched it and she said she loved it. No sarcasm either. It might just have something to do with the fact that she's been a fan of Christina's ever since she was in middle school though. I'm sure it's still crap.