Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Crystal Harris Is An Excellent Liar

I don't think I would ever be willing to play poker against Crystal Harris. The recently engaged Playmate gave an interview to Entertainment Tonight and says she does not even notice the age difference between Hugh Hefner and herself. She threw out the whole age is nothing but a number line and then went home and pushed Hef around in his wheelchair while changing his Depends. Yes, an exaggeration, but come on. The guy is 84 years old. You are 24. If you don't notice the age gap then you are insane. She gave some stupid story about how she cannot even keep up with Hef. That is because he is getting up at 3am. That is when she is probably ready for bed. Crystal probably wakes up about 2pm, just when Hef is finishing his dinner and getting ready for bed, and the assembly line. She probably opens her eyes slowly to see if Hef is taking one of those little blue pills and then pretends to go back to sleep when she sees that little toothless grin.

25 comments:

Cecilia00 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cecilia00 said...

Meh. She's telling the truth. She doesn't see age - she sees money and status.
She's just closing her eyes and thinking of the Playboy Empire. Not that she'll see a whole lot of it.

valerie said...

I just want to know what she did to get the ring, when there have been plenty of other playmates who have tried. Then again, maybe I don't really want to know.

Anna Nicole Smith, anyone?

HannahPalindrome said...

The wrinkled balls didn't give away his age?!

Playboy HOOKER!

shakey said...

Does she get to stay on for 2 minutes since they're engaged?

nancer said...

this is anna nicole all over again except ANS found an old geezer with one foot in the grave. i hope hef lives to be 100.
i was married to a man 20 years older than me and believe me, there's NO WAY you don't notice. it's impossible.

Terri said...

she's smart. Hef dies, he's marrying one of the sons, who's really getting all the money.

BigMama said...

now I have a whole slew of icky mental images in my head that now require copious amounts of alcohol to erase...and I'm still at work damn it!

Robert said...

I think Anna Nicole popped into everyone's heads immediately; her claims that she would have married J. Howard Marshall even if he had no money (!) are as patently ludicrious as this gold-digger's absurb "age blindness."

Middle-aged Diva said...

By the time you're 84, you're no longer a "playboy," just an old perv. The revelations from "the girlfriends" show just how misogynistic he is. Ugh

RocketQueen said...

Cecilia00 beat me to EXACTLY what I was going to say. Money and status shine brighter than age when you're a professional gold digger.
Does this mean Hef is giving up having all his bunnies bounce on his dick for just one woman? Good luck with that curfew and allowance, Crystal. I, too, hope he lives for another 20 years.

califblondy said...

I'm with Valerie, what did this one do to make him pop the question? Pick up all the dog poo? I thought his plan was to stay legally married to Kimberly so he wouldn't do anything stupid.

Poor Hollie.

nancer said...

maybe she picks up HIS poo.

MISCH said...

Does anyone remember the "Sex In The City" episode when Samantha tried to have sex with an older man.....?
That's the first thing that came to my mind when I read this...
And does Hef really have any money ?

Cheryl said...

This shit ain't right one bit!

jax said...

MISCH- the saggy AZZ!!!!!


i think it's just super fucking weird for ET guy to be all cozy in this picture???

Sylvia said...

LOL

timebob said...

The whole thing is just creepy.

MISCH said...

jax........yes,yes,yes,yes OMG yes

Mango said...

It's one thing to say you like older men. It's another for a 24 year old to try to convince the world that she loves an OCTOGENARIAN.

Love how she got in that she didn't want kids. Wait awhile and OOPS! She'll be pregnant with a lifetime meal ticket.

Melody the First said...

There is, in the film "Space Cowboys," a scene with all the "cowboy" actors naked. It is shot from behind. One actor was 54, the others were over seventy. Trust me, you can tell the one.

*girl said...

I slept with a much, much older man once. And all I can say is that I was horrified by his saggy balls.

They were grotesque.

eyeonu2 said...

Ick nast squared!
The E reporter is happy to be close to the bride to be.
I'd love to see her grandparents interviewed bec i'm guessing he is older than they are!

audieh_1 said...

I don't think Hef knows he's engaged. Dementia or Alzheimer's have definitely come into play.

MCH said...

LOL @ jax

Looks like some weird Christmas card pose.

The interview was very awkward.

Is this the same girlfriend he's been with post Holly? Why her and why now?

That story about there being dog poo everywhere is disgusting.