Friday, February 25, 2011

Ted C Blind Item

We are really starting to feel sorry for Lucretia Johnson.

Last time we checked in on the quasi bloated, not preggers blond babe, she was seriously turning to alcohol to cope with her seemingly downward spiral. She's just not what (and where) she used to be, career-wise, ya know?

Adding to Lucretia's woes, her newest beau (with whom things have gotten quite serious since we last checked in) is making matters worse. Much.

See, it appears as if L.J. and her dude are on the marriage track.

Unfortunately for Ms. Johnson, what she doesn't know is that despite tabloid appearances, her man has "no intention" of ever walking down the aisle with her, claims an insider.

In fact, he is so grossed out by her, impeccable sources tell us, that he's still sleeping with his ex!

At a cheap nail salon in L.A., the ex was bitching to her manicurist about her ex's new high-profile romance:

"He has been f--king me practically during their whole relationship."

If that wasn't bad enough, apparently Lucretia's dude (who's blah in every way, hint, hint) was also talking about how "disgusted" he was with Johnson, admitting he was only using her for her money and fame.

Thing is, Ms. Johnson plays into this, totally. She's completely his sugar mama and is cutting out friends who try to tell her that she's just being used.

Apparently, the ex lady admitted they stopped doing the nasty behind Lucretia's back because the dude needed to keep up appearances in the press that he and Johnson are totally in love.

Could this get any grosser?

Wake up and smell the future, Lucretia! It's only going to get stinkier if you keep hanging with guys like this.

And It Ain't: Kim Kardashian, Selena Gomez, Britney Spears

57 comments:

Jessica said...

Jessica Simpson?

MISCH said...

I was thinking the same thing...Jessica

Danielle said...

Xtina?

Dianne said...

It's definitely Christina A.

Note the "blah blah" hit. Google and you will see Christina's video for Blah Blah.

Raininmyst said...

Xtina

BigMama said...

poor jessica - though my husband would probably object to her being anything less than super doable........so maybe Xtina instead?

bluebonnetmom said...

I totally think this is Christina. I worry about who is watching Max while she and this scumbag are getting wasted and having sex in a bathroom at a family event as other sites are reporting. Is she really this stupid?

Lady J said...

Sounds like Christina.

sunnyside1213 said...

xtina...

soju addict said...

Oh Christina...I thought someone who sang songs like "Fighter" and "Can't Hold Us Down" would be less desperate than that...
Does anyone know if that blind about a popstar and her team staging a meltdown a la Britney style to do a big comeback is about Christina?

parissucksliterally said...

Christina or Chestica. Either one fits.

Simone said...

Wasn't Jessica into poop play with John Mayer? (Sorry, hope you are not eating lunch.) Maybe that is what Ted means by, "It's only going to get stinkier..."

She has been stumbling drunk out of restaurants on what's-his-name's arm and he supposedly gets a monthly allowance which would make it a lot harder to extricate himself from the situation even if he was miserable.

I'll go with Jessica.

hotticket said...

To me, this sounds like Leanne Rimes.

Simone said...

Oh, and Lucretia Johnson and Jessica Simpson have the same number of syllables. Right? *counts on fingers AGAIN*

Isn't that a Ted thing?

Squeezebox said...

Gotta be Jessica. Remember how she actually revealed in an interview how she loves to give Dutch ovens? Well, there's your "wake up and smell the future" clue right there.

Maria said...

vivica foxx

Snowstorms said...

soju, i have been thinking the same thing - following in the footsteps of britney was christina...just too coincidental...but is ted EVER - THIS OBVIOUS?! it sounds wayyyy too easy.

Mooshki said...

Jessica is engaged, so "it appears as if L.J. and her dude are on the marriage track" wouldn't make sense if it's her. I say Christina.

JenX said...

Sadly this is probably true of both Christina and Jessica.

RocketQueen said...

Jessica. I believe in the previous blind about this person she was childless and having trouble conceiving because of damage to her lady parts due to too much backdoor to frontdoor play.
I think the "stinkier" reference is about her rel'ship with Mayer aka SuperDooperCooper who's into scat.

Ice Angel said...

Leanne

Cheryl said...

was going to say Jessica but then remembered John Mayer referred to her as sexual napalm...going with Christina plus the bloated comment points to her too...

RenoBlondee said...

Can't be Jessica because she was confirmed as a BV Star WAY before this blind came out.
I say Xtina.

Nate F. said...

Jennifer Love Hewitt - Her current boyfriend is named Alex Bleh.

mindyj9 said...

I think Jessica, but love the Leanne guess!

amoteafloat said...

Eh. I don't get the feeling that Xtina's out looking for another Batboy or anything. She's troubled and has poor taste in men, yes, but I think she just wants to get laid.

I vote for Jessica. She's desperate for anything resembling a marriage, and that dude she's with is SKETCHY.

BigMama said...

@squeezebox - dutch oven? I hate to appear even more dense, but is this a code?

timebob said...

at this point Xtina and Jessica are interchangble with these blind items.

timebob said...

@bigMama a Dutch Oven is when you fart under the covers and then pull the blanket up so your bedmate gets a big whiff of your smelly farts.

ms snarky said...

first thought was Leanne Rimes, but she's only sort of blonde.

Could be either Xtina or Jessica from the description, but I'm leaning toward Jessica since I don't think Xtina is so desperate to have the world believe she's in a big romance with the new guy. Jessica, on the other hand, desperately wanted to be engaged since Nick announced he was. I can easily see that this guy might never marry her, or will hold out for a lot of cash. Jess's apparel empire is apparently a huge cash generator.

All in all, I think I'm going with Jess on this one.

Lioness70 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lioness70 said...

Here's the link to the first LJ BV:

E! Online

Sure sounds like Jessica to me. She keeps picking guys who take advantage of her not being too bright, poor thing.

chihuahuense said...

lol@time bob and big mama!!! Come on big mama, big papa has NEVER done that to you?

Janet296 said...

I initially thought Jessica but I'm thinking Xtina now. Jessica may be a lil bit heavier but she still looks good. Xtina looks terrible now. She looks bloated and drunk all the time. Hell she has stumbled at her performances probably from drinking.

Cindy said...

Dutch ovens are probably in the top 5 reasons I will never ever ever in the history of ever live with a man. Eww to the nth power.

Jeudi said...

the 'hint' gives it away. "you are 'blah', in every single way".

xtina

Jamie's Girl said...

Definitely not Jessican Simpson. Her shoe/purse line is sealing her status for her.

kathrynnova said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
crila16 said...

Who is Xtina dating? I thought this sounded like Jessica Simpson, cause everyone knows the guy is using her for $ and fame...though I don't see how she could gross anyone out.

crila16 said...

This is from Ted's last Lucretia BV. "That said, there's a celeb in town by the name of Lucretia Johnson, whose talent is, uh, questionable, at best."

OK...Xtina is amazingly talented. She has one of the best voices in the business. Jessica...her talent is questionable, at best. This is definitely Jessica, NOT Xtina.

Nosey Parker said...

I don't think Xtina is in a rush to get married again. This sounds like Jessica.

Janet296 said...

I just read the first BV and he left the clue of "cheerleader at Happiest Place on Earth High" That says disney and maybe high school musical to me. Jessica was never a part of disney. I don't know who this is now.

Whitney said...

You know, I thought that it might be Jessica- but the Disney hint does through it out. Even then, Jessica's boytoy is decent looking. Christina's new guy is pretty much blah in every way.

So far as her talent goes, she isn't really singing as much as she used to- she certainly isn't the same singer she was circa Lady Marmalade and before.

(And I am pretty sure that Ted has a BV for Jess already)

Whitney said...

Oh- and when I was googling for pictures of the new boyfriend, I know I found some story that mentioned he'd bought her a ring.

amoteafloat said...

@Crila -- I agree. Xtina is a hot mess, but she's still a great singer.

RocketQueen said...

Isn't Jessica's fiance's last name Johnson? Come on. So her.

Liz G. said...

Definitely Christina-- I think Ted is referring to her "acting" as questionable to lead us off.

J-Mo said...

Janet296: "Jessica still looks good?" eeew, not in the photos I've seen of her. She looks dirty and drunk and I have nothing against a full figure proportioned as well as hers, but she just looks like a slob lately.

katiekat said...

I think it's Leann Rimes. What gave it away for me is the ex getting her nails done at a cheap salon. Eddie's ex has no money and is trying to make a name for herself in biz and dishing about Leann and Eddie seems like something up her alley. Plus it's vindication for her since he cheated on her with Leann.

Nina said...

Leann is not looking bloated... She looks svelte these days. Stuns is looking bloated & drunk.

Caitlin said...

Jess was a cheerleader in HS. They had a thing on famous cheerleaders on msn a while back.

cricket said...

Heads Xtina tails Jessica?

Doc Cowboy said...

My two cents. Much as
I don't care for her, this is not Jessica S. Why? 1.) She has been "quasi-Bloated for some time. This is not a new event. 2.) Ditto the boozing. 3.)As much as her talent is truly questionable, she has grossed some insane amount of money in her "fashion" biz. Maybe she is not in the public eye in terms of what we initially perceived her to be, but regardless of that, her success is anything but failing.

Christy said...

I think this is Christina, Jessica's fashion line is on fire and she made a ton of money on it last year. Christina looks very bloated and the Blah..Blah hint kind of seals it. I feel sorry for her kid.

Char said...

I think it's Christina. I can't remember the original blind but I remember reading something (besides the bit about Disney) that made me rule Jessica out.

Gary T. Burnaska said...

Best bet is Jessica Simpson, Christina Aguleria. Someone mentioned Jennifer Love Hewitt, That could also be possible as reports from past BF's all say she is FREAKING NUTS she basically has wedding rabies and guys get competely turned off by it, and rightfully so.

hunter said...

Either Jessica or Christina...

So sad. But you know, when you're drinking as much as these girls obviously are it's not just "to cope." (that's why both of them are so bloated, despite the frequent workouts, honeys. You can't drop weight and drink that much booze, no matter how much you're working out or how little you're eating.) It's because you're most likely an alcoholic at this point. Hope they get some help - sadly, like with Charlie Sheen, their enablers and vast pool of money may keep them in the downward spiral all the way to the bottom. Sometimes, success is an addict's worst enemy.