Thursday, February 10, 2011

What Do You Think?


Dr. Phil has been known to say some crazy things in the past, and I think this latest thing is right up there. On his website he answers questions from readers and viewers. One woman said she has a son with two older sisters. The mom says that the boy likes to play with Barbie dolls and even wears girl clothes and she does not think it is normal. Dr. Phil's advice?

"Direct your son in an unconfusing way. Don't buy him Barbie dolls or girl's clothes. You don't want to do things that seem to support the confusion at this stage of the game ... Take the girl things away, and buy him boy toys."

Shouldn't you just let the kid be a kid? How is this different from Shiloh wearing boy clothes? Would Dr. Phil tell Brangelina to stop letting her wear boy clothes and to force her to wear dresses and other feminine things? Would he advise that she should only be bought girl toys and to take away any GI Joe toys she has?

What do you think?

49 comments:

rebellious, contrary and nice said...

Bad advice.

Jackie said...

Very bad advice. Hate "Dr." Phil.

__-__=__ said...

He's on his way to being a couture designer and Dr. Phil wants to bring the kid down to everyone else's level! Sheez!! Let the kid play. But, how old is the "boy"? I think he obviously idolizes his sisters.

MommaSaid said...

I can't believe he advised that. Let the child be!

RocketQueen said...

lol - how did I know this was heading in the direction of a Brangelina discussion?

Yes, bad advice.

Jennifer said...

I think Dr. Phil's a jerk.

looserdude said...

How old is the boy? If he's five or under it probably means nothing and the parents should ignore it. If the child is six or older it might mean something but so what? If the implication is that playing with dolls will make the boy gay, then that's bullshit.

jpovis said...

You have to realize, this bald boob is not a real doctor, just because Oprah invented him. He attended some 4th tier school in Texas. 4th tier is below a community college.

MISCH said...

Bad...Bad advice...

timebob said...

I don't know who I hate more Dr. Phil or Dr. Laura.

shakey said...

I'm sure the mother isn't buying anything for the boy - he's playing with his sisters's dolls and wearing their clothes. And I'm sure he has toys for boys. What a tool thing to say, Dr. Phil.

Let it run its course. My son liked to play with beads when he was little. He stopped. No biggie.

BigMama said...

Phil is a douche....

kelly said...

I don't believe it matters what you let your child play with in terms of boys and girls, I believe you are born with your sexuality and there is nothing you can do to change it (kind of like left and right handed people and how even up until the 70's teachers were trying to change me to be a righty but now realize it's not a choice).

Miranda said...

Ugh, disgusting heteronormativity rears its ugly head again. Who cares if the boy plays with dolls? Maybe he looks up to his sisters, that's not the worst thing in the world, now is it?

Go eat a bag of hell, Dr. Phil

von said...

Honestly, who turns to a hack like Dr. Phil for advice? He's a dumbass and that "advice" only cemented that fact. Toys are toys, they do not have a gender. Just like colours, no gender.

Maja. With a J. said...

Extremely bad advice from someone who claims to be a professional. I feel sorry for the kid.

Sylvia said...

Why do people even want his advice. Hasn't he had bad publicity because of that.

Jamie's Girl said...

He is addressing the mother's concern about ambiguity or gender confusion. It's one thing for the child to play with Barbies, it's another thing to not understand that he's a boy.

Mango said...

Agree with Looserdude that it would be good to know the age of the kid.

Dr. Phil's a pompous windbag who should be kissing Oprah's ample ass for inventing him. He might have a psychology degree but he's not even licensed to practice. He (apparently) has a Ph.D. but likes to give the impression that he's a medical doctor.

Sorry, Phil, I'd sooner take advice from Dear Abby.

Ice Angel said...

I am confused by his answer. I think it is important for the mother to continue to offer up both types of toys (boy and girl) to her child and ultimately allow him to entertain himself as he sees fit.

But one must also understand (I have no idea of the child's age) but there is certainly a social stigma against allowing a child to wear opposite sex clothing. I think it would be blatantly foolish to allow a young child to go to school or out to play with his friends dressed in a skirt or girl's clothes. Are you kidding me? Do you know how mean kids can be?

There are more appropriate ways to help your child understand and accept their sexuality while still adhering to societal norms as they are today, which still include boys dressing as boys and girls dressing as girls. (Although girls have much less of a stigma when they wish to wear boyish clothes than vice versa.)

All of you can honestly say they would allow their school aged boys wear a dress to school if they wanted to???

Mina said...

I used to play with so-called boy toys all the time, because I was the only girl in the family for quite some time. I wasn't interested in Barbie dolls or dolls in general. I didn't like dresses and loved my jeans and sneakers so that I could climb up trees and play soccer.
Am I a lesbian? No. Am I intersex? No. I just wanted to play with the toys the boys around me played with.

That being said, I'm wondering when people will be able to stop wanting to distinguish between what's male and what's female? It pisses me off so much, I don't even know where to begin.
Boys' clothes. Girls' clothes. Female characteristics. Male characteristics.
When do people learn that gender is an illusion fabricated by our fucked-up society?

SolitaryAngel said...

I grew up with 2 older and 2 younger brothers and they would always break my toys. I played GI Joes with them, baseball, football, guns, etc. I grew up fine, a feminine hetero woman.

Dr. Phil is a quack who slept with patients and got his cereal-box "medical license" revoked in 1987. If somebody is dumb enough to want his advice on ANYTHING, they're too dumb to procreate.

iheartjacksparrow said...

If you click on the link it says the boy is five years old. He probably wants to play with his sisters, and they're playing with Barbie. Bad advice.

fade2black said...

Jpovis, he didn't just go to some 4th tier school in Texas, he also attended the U of Tulsa in OK, which is actually a pretty ok (pun intended) school. He was there the same time I was, a fact I only admit when I can use a pseudonym. So, so embarrassed.

GorgeousGirl said...

well shes concerned for a reason, she should take the barbies away have him involved in more sports.
i mean comon son!its not that she shouldnt allow him to do wut he wants but if he is exposed to more girly things because of his two sisters then it may be hard for him to know anything else then wut he is seeing and wut he is around.
take him out the environment and have him do different activities

Tea Lady said...

I think Dr. Phil must be a huge homophobe to give archaic advice like that.

chihuahuense said...

agree that he is a dumbass and mom is even bigger dumbass for asking his dumbass opinion. My boys do fun girly things with me when they want to, young children like to try out different roles, it is what it is.

sunnyside1213 said...

My oldest son used to play with a barbie doll. Then he quit. Leave the kid alone.

Megley said...

I have five sisters, and much preferred to play with Army men and Tonka trucks with the boys in my neighborhood. My mom just, perhaps rightly so, chalked it up to curiosity.
I turned out hetero and perfectly normal (tongue planted firmly in cheek).
In the words of comedy god Louis C.K.: Go suck a bag of dicks.

ardleigh said...

He is a hack and I put the blame on Oprah's head for having his pestilence infect the airwaves. BAD OPRAH.

Ellebee said...

I work at a preschool and one of our male students like to wear the girl dress up clothes-puffy skirts and pretty shoes. He would dance around the pla area. Only the parents of the students commented on it. The kids could not have cared less.

Dr. Phil needs to get his lazy ass out of a chair and observe children playing. Kids usually don't make a big deal about something until their parents do. Kids are awesome and deserve more credit than is given by people like that mom and Dr. Blowsunshineupmyownass.

Robert said...

"...Gender is an illusion febricated by our fucked-up society?"
Vagina. Penis. Uterus. Testicles. Estrogen. Testosterone. Not illusions, and not fabricated by society.
More exactly, gender ROLES are an illusion created by our fucked up society.
"Let us abandon the pretence of sameness and admit the terrible duality of gender." (Camille Paglia)

Miranda said...

"All of you can honestly say they would allow their school aged boys wear a dress to school if they wanted to???"

Well, my mom let me dress like a boy all through school and I didn't turn out any worse for wear (and, OMG, it didn't turn me into a lesbian? WHAAAAA?). I would be a hypocrite not to let my hypothetical son wear a dress whenever the heck he felt like it.

Of course, I'd just never send kids to public school but that's just me :)

Jaiden_S said...

I played with matchbox cars and GI Joes when I was a little girl. I even built forts, climbed trees and jumped my bike off of ramps. That never caused me to be attracted to girls. What you like to do for fun does not decide your sexuality. Let the kid do what he wants to do and unclench.

pdxbellarocks said...

Let the boy play with dolls! Believe me, I have a six year old with an older HS sister who he adores. And whose dolls he stays 100% away from. Why? Because he wants to blow things up. He's a little boy who knows his mind. I am pretty sure that little boy who LIKES the doll knows his mind too...Give kids credit Dr. Phil..they are who they are. Shocker: Some boys like dolls. Deal with it. They may be one of the best up and coming designers the worlds ever seen..Who knows? But that kid won't find out with out his dolls so lady if you read this...encourage your kid to be who they are!! And support them in every way!

lanasyogamama said...

Poor kid.

pdxbellarocks said...

Ok so I am just now reading the comments..obviously designer was a obvious stand out! Good to read!

Char said...

Would he tell a parent of a little girl to not let her play with trucks? I doubt it.

I have a psychology degree too DR Phil, so I guess that makes me just as qualified as you...

and I think his advice is horrible. Just atrocious. He's going to give that kid hang ups about "girl" stuff and "boy" stuff for the rest of his life. Such a bad call.

Mindy said...

I loathe this charlatan. My aunt used to rave about him, and finally sent me his book. I read a few pages and knew he was full of crap. Why is he still on the air?

Lisa said...

I hate this man with the passion of a thousand firey suns. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. People should do the exact opposite of everything this hack says. He's an idiot.

lucretius said...

Hey now! I went to that 4th tier school that Dr. Phil went to as well psychology as well different program. And I think Dr. Phil is a crackhead. Blame the man not the program. My area of research is multicultural issues and I teach seminars on indivdidual cultural diversity and in no way support his views. Please my school is good school an APA accredited program with great psychologists coming out of it and working there. I was going to school when Dr. Phil made it big and NO ONE in the department wanted to acknowledge he came from there. There are few bad apples in every bunch!

lucretius said...

forgive the typos in the previous remark. agitation and typing don't go together.

I will also add that as crazy as Dr. Phil is to me, I know someone who appeared on his program in its very first year and she loves the man for how he helped her family. So even though he is painfully oblivious to the complexities of gender, sexual orientation, race and -okay all issues related to individual and cultural diversity, he has helped some folks. That's my rant, I will not step away from the keyboard!

Ells said...

Well I played with my brother's GI Joe dolls when I was little. I didn't have a Ken doll, so GI Joe married Barbie in my make-believe games.
My little brother put on my costume dresses for fun. It wasn't odd, we all just were having fun. He wasn't bullied by other kids because of it. And he is a well-adjusted heterosexual man today.

shakey said...

He's 5? Isn't it a known fact that children from ages 0 - 5 don't identify with a gender yet?

Ice Angel, I wouldn't let him go to school in a dress because I wouldn't want him to be made fun of, but at home he could rock out with his cock out. I grew up feeling uncomfortable about everything, so I've made sure my son is comfortable in his own skin.

GladysKravitz said...

I'm with Shakey on this one. LOL at rocking with his cock out!

Seriously, though, I also love the comment that it's hard to figure out who to hate more: Dr. Phil or Dr. Laura. The one good thing I can say about Dr. Phil, though, is that he doesn't seem to hate EVERYONE. He's just a pompous idiot that gives bad advice. Dr. Laura is a pompous idiot that gives bad advice and who also says vile, evil things about entire classes of people. No one would even ASK Dr. Laura about their cross dressing son; she'd tell the parent to go scrub down the boy's genitals and tell him that he's a sissy girl if he even looks at girls' clothing again.

That said, Dr. Phil is still a pompous idiot that gives bad advice.

Amanda said...

Yup. I grew up in a fundie Christian household and we weren't allowed to do anything the boys where allowed to (ie anything FUN).

My son is nearly 3 and he can play with whatever he wants- he rocks the heels, he plays with dolls, he has his own set of beads, whatever. And his penis hasn't shriveled up or fallen off or anything!

It sucks being a little kid and being made to feel there is something wrong with you because you want to play with a toy. Pathetic.

Ms Luey said...

Robert: Gender IS an illusion. SEX differences are not (though they are far less cut and dry than most believe - intersex conditions are more common that people believe).

And now that I have that pedantism out of my system, I have to say that I LOVE the readers of this blog. I love all the support for this little boy.

MCH said...

I loathe this man. I can't believe people actually watch his show?

blankprincess said...

I know I'm late to the party, but there is a wonderful book out there right now called "My Princess Boy" that deals with this topic.

http://www.myprincessboy.com/index.asp (or look it up on Facebook, or Amazon, or whatever).

I love this because I once knew a little boy like this--who wanted to have a boyfriend and wear nail polish and dresses--and his mom just let him BE despite the vitriol being spewed all around him. He is a loving soul and I hope he stays that way forever. <3

p.s. Kudos to Shakey for letting your boy "rock out with his cock out!" Acceptance comes in many forms, and tolerance is in too short a supply these days.