Friday, March 25, 2011

Lindsay Lohan Wants To Be Known As &%^%


From this time forward, Lindsay Lohan wants you to know that she is one of the biggest stars in the world. So, she is dropping the Lohan from her last name and going with Lindsay. Just Lindsay. Oh where do I begin? How about the pretentiousness to think she is as big of a star as Cher or Madonna or Beyonce? Last time I checked Meryl Streep and Glenn Close have a million Academy Awards between them but last I checked they still used two names. Now, if I had the parents Lindsay had, then I would seriously consider dropping my last name too. I mean, who really wants to be associated with Michael or Dina? The faster I could get away from that last name the better. I would think she has other options though. She could go by one of her prisoner numbers. That would certainly make her unique, although deciding between them all would probably prove to be a challenge. She could find a different last name. I like Lindsay Klepto. It has a nice ring to it and would give her an ethnicity factor she does not have right now. Plus, it rhymes with more stuff besides Blohan and it is not a bad stage name for when she starts stripping in a few years. She could go with the symbol thing like Prince did. The problem with that is Prince was always called the artist formerly known as Prince because no one could pronounce his symbol so he really kept his name anyway. Plus, if you did something like that with Lindsay it would have to be something like, The actress who once was in Mean Girls and has been living off that forever. A bit too lengthy for an intro or magazine cover.

27 comments:

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

Meh. She could call herself Lindsay Ramalamadingdong and I still wouldn't give a shit about her. Try again.

RocketQueen said...

I urge you all to read the Superficial take on this today. Not only because it's hilarious and dead-on, but you would not BELIEVE what Lindsay has done to her face in the accompanying photo. She must be fucking with it daily because she's almost unrecognizable.

So over this trick.

bluebonnetmom said...

I would dump Lohan, too. But, I think that the damage is done and it is too late. It will look great with just "Lindsay" on the sign when she makes her cross country stripping debut.

linnea said...

Actually, Sue Ellen, if she called herself that I would probably talk abour her a lot more. I love saying Ramalamadingdong. No idea why.

Robert said...

Anybody remember Rosie O'Donnell (back when she was supposed to be nice) referring to Prince as "TAFKAP?"
Pretty funny.
Also, Dina is changing her and Ali's last names to Sullivan, her maiden name (although it's difficult to picture Dina as a "maiden.")
And didn't they already try changing Ali's name to Aliana or something at one point? That didn't take, either.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

Me too, linnea. I just wanted an excuse to write it.

timebob said...

do we get another lindsay whore i meant court apperance today to formally reject the deal to the judge. Or is that a done deal now and it is straight to trial?

Jeannies Bottle said...

Let's just call her by her already existing nickname, "Fuck-wit".

Pookie said...

i have this thing that i just can't give up on her...i really want to see her get over herself and get it together. there was talent there once, i refuse to believe it isn't in there somewhere. as for this name drop...i get it, but it's a BAD, BAD move...whomever is advising her isn't getting it that this will seriously backfire....or maybe they do, and are doing it for that purpose...which is even sadder still.

looserdude said...

She should change her name to Lindsay Not-Guilty and then she could introduce herself to the court and enter her plea all at the same time. Most efficient.

shakey said...

Maybe she's dropping it because she thinks if that isn't her name anymore then the charges won't stick. "Oh, that was Lindsay Lohan who did all those things, not me."

I'd love to hear the intro to her strip act. "And now, Lindsay from Cell Block D!" (And Dina would be in the front row applauding and yelling, "Show your blue waffle baby! Make Mommy proud!")

alp102000 said...

Chiming in because it's a travesty to mention Lindsay in the same sentence as Prince. Yes, he's eccentric, and yes that glyph thing was kinda over the top. But a musical genius like Prince can get away with that!

MISCH said...

What a waste of space......

Mooshki said...

RQ, I just checked out that picture on Superficial. What the fuck? If you had asked me to identify who it was, I would never have guessed Lindsay.

shiny_special_one said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
shiny_special_one said...

I have a feeling that this has something to do with litigation aspirations. She probably thinks it will enable her to sue more people for defamation, etc. By her crackhead narcissist logic, I wouldn't be surprised if she tries to copyright the name too.

And that picture of her is scary.

parissucksliterally said...

RQ, I saw it earlier- it looks like she got work done to look exactly like Macaulay Culkin!


I love how Dina includes Ali changing her name.....like Ali will EVER have a Hollywood career! *snorts*

iheartjacksparrow said...

Lindsay has a slight problem in just going by her first name: There are other actresses with the first name of 'Lindsay,' and it's a very common name. All the other one-name people have (or had) unique names that weren't identified with a sizable number of the population. I'd love it if she would start introducing herself as 'Lindsay,' and people would respond with something like, "You look a lot different than you did on 'Bionic Woman.'"

Luvtheblinds said...

Lindsay who??? Hahahahahahahaha...she is so full of herself...

TinselSass said...

She is so deluded... deluded doesn't even begin to capture her level of delusion.

RE: Glenn Close... Enty, she has been nominated five times but has never won an Academy Award.

rose said...

This makes me think of The Soup voice-over with a woman who sounds like she's smoked 3 packs a day since birth going "it's Lindsay".

Laura said...

Yeah, I like "Lindsay Who?"

sunnyside1213 said...

Just when you think she couldn't get any crazier.

Me said...

the moms face! horrible!

i think she should drop lindsay too, and just go by asshat.

Jenny S said...

Sadly, Glenn Close has not one an Oscar. She has been nominated several times but no wins. Meryl has been nominated more than any other female but she has only two wins (first for Kramer vs. Kramer then Sophie's Choice.) I think the main difference between Lindsay as opposed to Meryl and Glenn is that they are dignified women who have dedicated themselves to their craft over the years. To the best of my knowledge, neither of them smoke crack, been arrested multiple times, flashed their beav's, gotten in drunken fights, been given a nudge by the judge to go into rehab nor have they blamed any of their problems on the rest of the world.

Jenny S said...

I can't believe I typed one instead of won. Sad.

MCH said...

@RocketQ - That was hilarious and SO true.

@Robert - I remember TAFKAP! :) I LOVED Rosie's show.

I love how Dina compares it to how Oprah and Beyonce have a single moniker, as if suddenly deciding to distance themselves from Lohan is going to make everything better.