Monday, March 21, 2011

Tiger Woods Has A New Girlfriend


Reports are that Tiger Woods has a new girlfriend. Like all of his other girlfriends, this one is blond and young and loves to Party. Perfect for Tiger. Of course now that is pretty much a description for Charlie Sheen hookups too. Well, he does have Tiger blood in him. Oh, do you think he meant tigers as in animals or Tiger as in Tiger Woods? Anyway, Tiger's new girlfriend is 22 years old, has already had one DUI arrest and surprise surprise is not really all that interested in shacking up with a guy almost 40, but is more interested in having a good time with him. Huh. Definitely sounds more and more like someone who would also date Charlie Sheen. You know, if this whole Tiger thing does not work out, I am sure Charlie is always interviewing people for goddess positions. By the way, I know it is a mug shot, but she looks pretty rough there for 22. I am guessing those were not the first drinks she ever had in her life.

47 comments:

RocketQueen said...

Oh Jesus. Look at those eyes. He never wants full parental rights, does he?

MISCH said...

This is not an improvement, she's nasty.

Patty said...

Attractive and classy. You don't normally find that in a ho. LOL

FS said...

but... but... but... he said he was CURED! He's a CHANGED MAN! He's LEARNED FROM HIS MISTAKES!

So we have a string of Elin types of ever diminishing ages to look forward to until Tiger grows the hell up? I feel sorry for his kids. Would love to see Elin remarry a stable, non-famous type to give them a chance at a normal future, they will not get it from their father.

caralw said...

She looks 40. Maybe she cleans up well...

bluebonnetmom said...

We in Texas have a saying for her and all of the other "women" other than Elin in Tiger's life: "Road hard and put up wet". It is not a compliment, it means haggard, old before your time, used up, whore/professional.

TMNT said...

Oh my. I hope he buys her some Proactiv, and possibly some Valtrex.

kathrynnova said...

yeah it also looks like meth. look at her forehead - i don't think that will get solved with proactive.

New Life and Attitude said...

She looks like she also uses meth along with her alcohol. And I have to agree with BlueBonnetMom - she's definitely been rode hard and put away wet a few times.

rose said...

Bluebonnet, we have that saying everywhere. ;)

Mango said...

As rough around the edges as she looks I still want to tell her, "You in danger, girl!"

amazonblue said...

He couldn't have found a more perfect match. I wonder how much she charges.

Simone said...

Oh, yea. She's a keeper. Just what Tiger deserves.

Elin is in her big new mansion laughing her ass off right now.

GladysKravitz said...

As someone who is not a natural blonde, I'd like to point out that this mess has brown roots and is not true to type. Elin was clearly blonde all the way; this woman is not. Neither was Rachel Uchitel. I'd say that Tiger's type is actually pretty easy to spot--it's the woman with her hand outstretched and a big hole where her self-love is supposed to be. He's a predator--just like all tigers--and he grabs the pretty, vulnerable ones who believe they are unloveable and are hell-bent on proving it.

Suhyphen said...

Bluebonnet where I live in Texas we have another saying:
"Some things just need to be taken out back and shot" :)
Does this woman look like she has bruises around her eyes? It's either that or she went to the Wet'n'Wild school of how to apply makeup

Sylvia said...

OMG!!! What is wrong with her eyes. What is that around her mouth. If Tiger is dating this thing he better wear double or triple protection or else he will get something he will never get rid of.

Danielle said...

Gladys, as someone who is a natural blonde, I'd just want to put out you're right about the girl in the mug shot (def not a blonde) but niether was Elin. You could tell by her eyebrows and no one her age has white blonde hair I'm pretty sure that's a good bleach job. She does do well with not having roots too often tho.

looserdude said...

Tiger's taste in women is as bad as his golf game.

bluebonnetmom said...

@ Suhyphen - Love it!!!! lol : )
@ Rose - Good to know, probably universal like " two bagger" or you would chew your arm off the next morning not to wake them up so you can run out the door in your walk of shame. Priceless.

Suhyphen said...

hahaha Blue, I've heard the same thing (chew arm off) only when I heard it the term was 'coyote arm', since coyotes are known to chew off their limbs in order to get out of a trap.
<3 nice to see a fellow Texan

linnea said...

Yeah, Elin is not a natural blonde either. Looks pretty amazing even with roots though... :)

caralw said...

Elin might have been a natural blonde at some point, but her current color is not natural.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

What a minute, THAT woman is 22? The one pictured? Really? Jesus! Ridden hard, put away wet much? This trick makes the Lohan sisters look their age!

sunnyside1213 said...

Scary.

bluebonnetmom said...

@ Suhyphen - now I know why I kept thinking Coyote Ugly when I was writing that. You are correct.
It is Monday and I am a little tired. : )

Patty said...

Looks like we're done with the posts today. Did Enty change the format and not tell us?

awesome balla. said...

heard on the radio that she's lived next door to tiger for like ever and her stepdad was responsible for getting tiger his $20mil nike contract when he was 20. he's apparently a big shot agent dude.

Lynette said...

You guys are freaking hysterical with the comments.... keep 'em coming. This seems to be the only site where people are articulate and exceptionally bitchy at the same time. Love it!

Momster said...

PLZ, plz tell me we are not done for the day--I keep refreshing the page just to see her ugly mug. When Enty disappears, he should at least leave us with a pleasant face on the last post! ;-)

Cheryl said...

Yeah he did that with Charlie's meth face pic and it was not pretty !

Jamie's Girl said...

Honestly, the only reason he got Elin is because of his money. That's was it. Other than that, Tiger is a loser, and we all know this now.

FS said...

The plot thickens, according to E Online, she's an aspiring golfer, bio dad is a baseball player, stepdad is a board member at IMG, she grew up in the Windermere gated community. So, except for that horrible booking photo, she might not be a wreck after all, but she is too young for him. Good thing she is apparently just using him for a good time too.

ms snarky said...

the girl was drunk in this photo. publishing her DUI photo is a pretty cheap shot. are you saying that being drunk is something none of us have ever done?
She grew up rich, is still rich in her own right (daddy's money, but still rich) and was introduced by her step-father, who is a very successful agent and neighbor of Tigger's. She's not a ho, she's a young, entitled girl who likes a party and is actually a college grad (or at least attendee). If you're going to report something, at least get the basic facts straight.
Give the girl a break, she's young.

RocketQueen said...

I've been drunk, ms snarky, but I've never been arrested for a DUI.

Suhyphen said...

Respectfully disagree with you. Young or not she became open season when she decided to get behind the wheel drunk off her ass.
Somehow I doubt anyone she possibly could have hit cares about a spoiled bad complexioned brat's age. I certainly wouldn't.
Though it's a shame no one went to town on HER car with a golf club.

Because that would just be funny.

jbdean_79 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sue said...

Serious methface. That tells us what HE'S into these days.

Melissa said...

Indeed, Sue. Tiger's not looking good with this choice. Either she's been groomed for him by her father or he's just grabbing what's within reach (next door neighbor...?! gross...) like a doctor who sleeps with the nurses...

ms snarky said...

I'm not condoning giant drinking and definitely not drunk driving. But to imply that she's a Charlie Sheen-caliber skank is pretty unfair.

Basil said...

Just to play devil's advocate, Elin may look much better than this girl, but it IS a mugshot after all. Besides, Elin has enough money to make sure she always looks fabulous before leaving the house. And I am not entirely sure Elin is the angel she is pretending to be. She did allegedly assault her husband. She doesn't get a pass from me for domestic violence simply because she is a woman.

The Black Cat said...

She must have an outstanding personality.

Christine said...

She needs some #tigerblood. Duh.

Miranda said...

Can we get any blinds or random photos today, Enty?

Texshan said...

Geez, I am going to be 42 in a few months and I look fresher than her! That's super bad, even for a mug shot.
Snarky, sorry, but all bets are off when you get arrested for a DUI.
Also, Basil, if I found out that my husband, and the father of my kids, was whoring around with random sluts and possibly bringing home all manner of cooties to me, I'd go after him with a golf club, too. Totally justifiable.
Holla to the fellow Texans!

caydian said...

To paraphrase Tom Selleck in "Quigley Down Under," she looks like the north end of a south-bound cow.

This Texas girl is out of colloquialisms, but I like whoever said, 'Been rode hard and put up wet.'

ardleigh said...

Looks like ...'forty miles of bad road'.

She actually looks like she got the crap kicked out of her.

MCH said...

@bluebonnetmom - My southern dad would have said she "looks like death riding on a soda cracker." ;)

Did anyone see the first few minutes of his interview with Jimmy Fallon? It was really uncomfortable & I couldn't believe he was ok with Jimmy going on and on thanking him for all the material he had given comedians over the last year and a half.

No one he's hooked up with have been half as pretty as Elin.