Wednesday, March 30, 2011

You Have Got To Be &%$#*&^%(*! Kidding Me


Some idiot over at The Hearst Corporation has decided that what they need more than anything in the world is for The Goopster to have her very own magazine. Yep. You read that right. Get ready for The Goopster to be staring out at you every single month when you buy your groceries. The magazine will be a food magazine which I find really entertaining considering that The Goopster spent the vast majority of her life complaining about food, not eating food, making fun of food, and judging by her weight, probably not eating much of it when she did. Yes, what the world needs right now is her spouting off about food she is probably not making, will not make, will not eat, and convincing the masses she does. If it is as accessible as her newsletter, every item will probably cost a fortune, not be available in North America and only be available by some woman who lives in some corner of the world, grows the food in some window box and sells them for $500 a pound.

27 comments:

Terri said...

Print media seems like an odd fit. A show on WealthTV, Style Network or the likes would be a better fit. Although her celeb chef friends may have contracts with other networks.

yogoodgurl said...

i'm still laughing at the picture...see that little clump on her fork?

Diane said...

Fuck, I am so over her ... next

Laura said...

Why is she called GOOP-ster?

MISCH said...

Overkill..........

RocketQueen said...

Oh no. A new, pretentious Martha Stewart without any of the background or talent.

Katja said...

She has the best PR person in the Universe!

kris said...

Honestly, I do not see the appeal of this woman!

RocketQueen said...

And anyone who reads GOOP knows she just gets her friends to provide the content for her newsletter anyway! Argh! This annoys me so much.

Olivia said...

She was on a PBS show with Mark Bitman and Mario Batale where they drove around Spain sampling food. It was fun to watch but I never understood why she was included except that she spoke Spanish.

Sherry said...

I find it funny because I always though her to be a vegetarian then she chowed down on things obviously not veggie on that trip to Spain..And Laura she's called Goopster because of her website Goop. Although someone else has dubbed her Fishsticks Paltrow which I much prefer.

lapin said...

This is perhaps off topic but...over on Lainey they're laying into Jennifer Garner...who I buy actully being into cooking and eating. Sheesh.

Comparing these two blurbs, they're both painted as frigid bitches and the other blurb wonders if anyone could ever find JG sexy. I know quite a few men who wouldn't have minded being well worked over by Sidney Bristow. Otoh, I've yet to meet a man who's got the GOOP in his fantasy playlist.

Either way, is it outdated to think the way to a man's heart is still through his stomach? Especially if bacon is involved? :)

timebob said...

I'm sure her magazine will do as well as Country Strong did and last as long. I give it one month before Hearst figures out they got gooped errr I mean duped.

Treesap-Covered Lady, the Humanist said...

In the latest issue of Food & Wine, there was an article about her cookbook coming out with a few recipes, and I jot down some because they looked yummy. I may not ever want to hang out with her (because I couldn’t afford to be her friend), but she does know food.

I won’t buy the cookbook, though I’ll page through it at the bookstore.

sunnyside1213 said...

Just in case someone doesn't know, Michael K at dlisted calls her Fish Sticks. It's from a line in Running with Scissors. She offers Fish Stick for dinner.

Tempestuous Grape said...

I can see it as a supplement to Food & Wine or something, but not a full-on magazine.

chopchop said...

If I'm not mistaken, her middle name begins with an O and her initials are GOP and that's where GOOP comes from?

chopchop said...

Never mind, I just googled it and her middle name is Kate. I must've made up the O part. Sorry.

Sylvia said...

Like always I can't stand the FishStick hehehe

crila16 said...

Why is she so desperate? She used to have this air of mystery about her. Even when she said stupid things. I'd just laugh. Now she's just everywhere and every time she opens her mouth I get embarassment for her.

The Nightmare Child said...

The title of this made me LOL.


I give it three months before it crashes & burns.

califblondy said...

I thought Goopy was her childhood nickname?

linnea said...

I never, ever bought her liking food. So this makes very little sense.

Katja, you are right - best publicist in the WORLD

MCH said...

I read that "Goop" is a family nickname, along w/ her initials being a G and a P.

I agree about her maybe doing a supplement or guest writing for a magazine but not a WHOLE magazine. But hell, I thought Terri was joking about a channel called WealthTV so maybe there is a market out there for her stuff?

I can only assume they offered her the deal based on the number of hits/subscribers of GOOP. Although how many of those numbers are people like us that only subscribe so we can read/giggle/make fun of her elitist behavior? ;0

Mango said...

I loathe her.

And for someone who doesn't eat, she is unnaturally obsessed with food.

Ms Luey said...

@Mango: people who don't eat are often unnaturally obsessed with food. When you're constantly starving yourself, food is all you can think about.

Gabby said...

@Mango - a classic sign of some kind of eating disorder is obsession with food. The main reason for anorexia and bulimia is control, and they feel like they can control what they put/don't put into their bodies. I have a friend with an eating disorder who had a picture of a chocolate chip cookie as the background of her phone, and the title above it said "don't eat this, fatty"