Friday, May 06, 2011

Lindsay Lohan And Scientology


I am sure this story is made up, but it sure is fun to speculate. The Enquirer says that John Travolta has been talking to Lindsay Lohan about going to some Scientology courses in order to get her life and career back on track. Yeah, because it really has helped everyone who has gone. I am sure that if Scientology could work those miracles for Lindsay that she would jump on an auditing machine faster than she could steal a necklace. The fact is though Scientology costs money and Lindsay has very little to actually spend money on especially courses for Scientology. I think they just want to hook her up to an e-meter and get all those confessions out of her. That would take a team of auditors about a year working full-time.

41 comments:

mikey said...

Lindsay+Scientology=perfect together

MISCH said...

Perfecto, yes indeed....

Merlin D. Bear said...

Just like Goodyear doesn't make a rubber strong enough, there ain't an E-meter capable of handling her - she'll blow it up.
Then again, if that were to occur in the right place it could solve a *lot* of issues.
Just sayin' ...

__-__=__ said...

She could turn out like Juliette Lewis ..... or Kirstie Alley. Either way, it's entertainment for us!

Sorka8 said...

I doubt she has enough money to even interest the Scientologists.

Besides, even if they did "audit" her she would never admit to having any faults worth changing to their point of view!

She is a Lohan. They are victims of a cruel and jealous world.
Ha!

timebob said...

I think at this point lindsay would carve 666 into her arm if it would get her paying roles.

I 100% believe it is true. John did the same thing with Jeff Conaway sent him scientology books for his addiction. That worked out well.

ali said...

When I went to catch my train home the other day, there was a table set up with e-meters offering free "Stress Tests". If I wasn't going to be late picking up my son, I would loved to take the test. Hopefully they'll be there next time I'm at that station. I'm curious what they tell me. I'm 8 months pregnant, so obviously have a lot of stress, but also obviously don't have spare dough for their "classes"...not like that would stop them from trying, though.

looserdude said...

Cracky Ducklips needs Scientology like she needs to suck another dick for coke.

RocketQueen said...

What Sorka8 said.

looserdude said...

@ali - the tests would tell you that you are under serious life-threatening stress and only Scientology can help you escape and find your true potential (after you pay them enough money.)

Maja. With a J. said...

As shady as they are, I have heard good things about their drug rehabilitaion programs...

Smasherstein said...

I've also heard about them basically enslaving people. I remember when I used live near the Celebrity Center, there would always be kids trimming the hedges!! All dressed in khaki and black. I swore one of them gave me the "HELP ME!" eye... creepy.

parissucksliterally said...

Hey, it cured Kirstie Alley of her coke addiction. Maybe it would work for Lindsay.

I think Scientology is awful. but if it actually saves Lindsay's life, and makes her get her shit together, then go for it.

I just want to hear her take responsibility for her actions, and she never has.

JasonBlueEyes said...

This is what the recuiters have resorted to. Lindsay Fucking Low-ham.

Tommy failed at getting Nicole, Spielberg, Oprah, The Beckhams, Scarlett, Jessica Alba, Keri Russell, Brad Pitt to join. The verdict's still out on The Smiths.

So now they've set their sights lower and you can't get much lower then Lindsay.

Patty said...

Finger in ears
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

MCH said...

Can we have this be the default picture for every Lindsay Lohan post? Pretty please?

Give me a GOOD example of how Scientology resurrected anyone's careers and made them a better person. Then I'll be on board.

Lady Chatterly said...
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Lady Chatterly said...

Scientology hasn't sunken to a new low going after Lindsay. She will give them FREE publicity.

BigMama said...

it makes a weird sorta sense. they have taken some hits here lately and "cleaning up Lindsey" might be their way back to semi-respectability. they will probably give her a free pass if she agrees to go to classes for a year and follow a careful regime.

bluebonnetmom said...

@ JasonBlueEyes - you are becoming one of my new favs....LOL!!! : )

john said...

I'm not sure that even Scientology camn save the Lohan's. It's very clear that both parents and now Lindsay have classic Narcissistic Personality Disorder with addictions to boot. That is one messed up combo and it's unlikely that they will change.

JasonBlueEyes said...

Thank you Bluebonnet. :)

It wouldn't surprise me if even Scientology leaders go "Um...Lindsay Lohan? With us? Um...no thanks."

JasonBlueEyes said...
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Rickatoo said...

@ timebob - at least JT had a past friendship with Jeff Conaway. If I had a friend in that shape I'd send him whatever voodoo I was into, too.

Does Xenu pay them commission for converts?

JasonBlueEyes said...
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JasonBlueEyes said...

*ugh* Dina is spinning more bullshit to TMZ - turns out nobody at that Women's shelter where Lindsay showed up likes her as Lindsay acted all snotty and obviously made it clear she really didn't want to be there.

http://www.suntimes.com/entertainment/zwecker/5163059-452/lindsay-lohan-not-making-friends.html

She makes sure to call the paps everytime she's on her way there. She knows those photos will wind up on TMZ that day. She's figures it makes her look good.

And she was partying all night Monday at the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles. She was partying all night with 90210 actress Shenae Grimes.

RJ said...

I am not a fan of Scientology at all, but I actually think it would help Lindsay. Her parents never did any parenting. Scientology is very demanding and full of rules and discipline, which is something that has been completely absent in her life. It would kind of be how Britney Spears improved after her dad gained conservatorship. I'm not in favor of letting ANY religion run your life, but when your life is as pathetic as Lindsay's is, being a Scientology zombie is a step up from the gutter and the jail cell. And as far as what Scientology would get out of it - tons of free publicity, and if they actually helped her, good publicity for a change.

bitchproblems said...

Lindsey Lohan is a lost cause.

Basil said...

As much as I think COS is nothing more than a business it might give Lilo the discipline she needs to get her act together. As for whatever money she would have to pay for these courses, I am sure COS will waive them if they can make a success of Lindsey

john said...

From that picture, it looks more like she is praising Allah. Maybe she's trying to find some religion in her life? (shrugs)

Amy said...

Oh I think this one might be true -- it's Scientology's M.O. to go after a celebrity when they're in the depths of their despair. That's exactly how and when they hook them.

Robert said...

All this is well and good save for the fact that Lindsay doesn't need to get better because there's nothing wrong with her! She's not interested in changing her life, other than being handed the high-profile, well-paid roles she deserves because...she's Lindsay Lohan! She's been victimized by the LA DA's vendetta against her and has done nothing to deserve this persecution, so why would she possibly be interested in anything some obviously publicity-seeking has-been has to say about "helping" her?
She's fine, people!

MadLyb said...

At this point, I think it would be a step up. Then she can become Tom Cruise's wife when Katy's contract is up.

selenakyle said...

Yeah, let 'em HAVE her, for chrissakes!

Mooshki said...

Darn, Enty's Cinco de Mayo buzz must have finally worn off so he crashed before he could post FFF. :(

mygeorgie said...

Spoiled twat & her mamma need to do a 6 month stint at SeaOrg. Work her to the bone 16hrs/day & pay her $80/month. Ego deflater for sure.

pwner said...

why are we always left with one of the Lohans on days Enty can't finish posting???


aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggh!

at least it's not papa Blohan's armpit, i guess....

linnea said...

I think no matter how deep in sh** you are, COS will make it worse. They are taking one addiction and replacing it with another - that is not helpful.

Gary T. Burnaska said...

Demi Lovato is my current Celeb obessession because she is a rare beast in HW. A troubled celeb who is actually taking her recovery seriously and went to a proper treatment facility. No Scientology or some trendwhore place that gives out coffee enemas.