Thursday, July 07, 2011

Most Boring Celebrity Book Ever


I should clarify the most boring celebrity book ever. The book Ian Halperin is writing about Lady GaGa will be the most boring celebrity book ever that was not written by a celebrity. If you are ever in a library, go to the biography section and pick up a book written by a celebrity and start reading it. Then read one about the same person written by someone else. It is like the celebrity was two different people.

Anyway, Ian did this interview with Star, and like most things Ian, it is a lot of hype and not much substance. The headline promises drugs and diets shockers and how Lady GaGa is a walking time bomb of destruction. What we really get is that Lady GaGa used drugs in the past, which she has admitted, that she regularly starves herself to fit into her costumes which is what many "everyday people" do when they are trying to fit in their clothes. Oh, and she stares in the mirror a lot looking at her imperfections. Wow, so far, this sounds like most people in the world. The only revelation is that Ian says her lupus is more serious than she lets on and uses all the makeup to hide the blotches on her face and body. Meh. I don't know. She goes out a lot without makeup and I have never seen any hideous blotches.

Who wants a book about Lady GaGa anyway? At least make it someone we want to read made up stuff about.

26 comments:

RocketQueen said...

Oh please. Isn't she only 24? Save it til she's a little older, Halperin. She struggles with her weight? Gasp! So do most 24 year olds. He's the writing equivalent of an ambulance chaser.
I always remind myself she's the same age as Lohan. Which one works her ass off and which one is a fucking mess?

jax said...

Iam Halperin is a hack. i read 2 of his books and both are just recylced crap from blogs and rag mags he likes to pretend are "sources."

His Brangelina book alone did not include any info you couldn't get from google.

B626 said...

So glad I had had Madonna to spice things up for me in the 80's.
what's Lady GagGag? Wild and crazy outfits and 3 good songs. That's it.

MISCH said...

Ditto RocketQueen...
Also I've seen what Lupus can do to a person, I don't think she could keep up with her schedule it her case is serious...
Let me be clear, this is a nasty disease and she deserves credit for bringing it to peoples attention. I wish her well.

0 said...

Holy crap, Lohan and Gaga are the same age? I don't know why, but that kind of weirds me out.

Momster said...

I didn't know she had lupus.:/ That's awful.

Ian's "gossip" blog is the worst ever. Haven't read his books, and I'll take Jax's opinion to heart and not bother.

Pookie said...

idk that this ian character isn't so far off...while i, knowing very little about him, agree that he isn't the most credible person around, i gotta say...the rumors of gaga being a seriously functioning addict do run rampant in my circles. i'm really sorry to hear that her lupus is so serious...but i do tend to believe that she is a literal walking wounded soul (in the emotional sense mostly), that she is an industry puppet, that there are a lot of expectations set upon her to deliver, and that she just might be on the hard stuff in order to function. i hate to say it b/c i do think she's genuinely talented, gimmicks aside, but i do believe she's on a self-destructive course.

Patty said...

Lupus is nothing to snark about.

IMO, I think she is more talented than most people give her credit.

Ida Blankenship said...

I found Halperin's Brangelina book at a yardsale for 50 cents, and it was so terrible I couldn't get through it. It's the worst prose I've encountered since Twilight -- and I only lasted a page when I started that one. And I'll tear through a V.C. Andrews book if someone gives it to me. I'm NOT that discerning, really.

For those of you who love celebrity gossip transcribed in an interesting way, I recommend anything written by Donald Spoto.

0 said...

Gaga is without a doubt talented, but her gimmicky attention-whore actions and words tend to get in the way of that and ruin it for me. I was down with her until the stupid meat dress. She's running the Marilyn Manson gamut IMO- try too hard to shock people, and you have the opposite effect and people get bored with you.

I have no doubt she works her ass off, but it's hard to miss someone who won't go away for a while. She's completely overexposed.

Mooshki said...

Pookie, there's no way she could maintain the schedule she does without a lot of "help."

canadachick said...

Oh Snap Enty is not holding anything back anymore and i'm LOVING it. I read at Ians blog just too see how crazy it can get LOL

JasonBlueEyes said...

Of the two Brangelina books I read last year - Ian's and Andrew Morton's I liked Andrew Morton's better. And that's saying something.

JasonBlueEyes said...

Ian's book was actually an Angelina Bio and the Brad part doesn't happen until near the end. What a waste of 18 bucks. Jerk.

anita_mark said...

I grew up in the 80s but if I had to pick, I'd pick Gaga over Madonna. I think Gaga has a lot more talent than Madonna but both have a serious work ethic that got them/will get them very far.

Everytime I get the urge for some chips or a chocolate bar, I watch the Born This Way video. Her body is fantastic in it.

Princess said...

Ian Halperin is an absolute LOON. Just check his website sometime. He is *OBSESSED* with Angelina Jolie, but will write about anyone to make $$ and who better to write about if you want money than this trash.

Anotheramy said...

I really dont think he should be mentioned even if it is critical. Blech.

ardleigh said...

I did not know Gaga had Lupus. I would love to ask her how she maintains the hard touring lifestyle while having Lupus and what meds she is on because my sister has it and just making dinner can wear her out. Hope Gaga is not on the new "wonder" drug for Lupus. It sounds sketchy as hell.

annab said...

Ian Halpern? Really? He's such a talentless hack. Lady Gaga is pretty up front, there's not many places she could hide something. Like her music or not, she's a very hard working singer who knows how to draw attention to herself and remains constant is her support of many causes (gay rights, etc). I personally respect her for that. Halpern's big tell-all books are alot of big hot air. Couple of years ago he was going to do a big tell-all on Jakey G. (my fav closeted star). Turns out his "information" was a rehash of everything commented on other blogs and he never came through with his big "proof" that he's gay.

Dulcinea said...

Ardleigh, what is the new "wonder drug" for lupus? My grandmother had it too and she had so much medication she had to take every day, and so many drs appts to make sure the meds she took weren't destroying her kidneys, and eyes...GaGa may have a very mild case right now and I hope it never gets more serious. But she is seriously energetic and able-bodied for someone with lupus, I agree.

FS said...

I like Gaga more than most here, it seems, but it is way too soon for a bio about her. She has already put so much info out there in past interviews anyway, I doubt a book would be that revealing in the big picture.

anita_mark said...

There's a bazillion Justin Bieber bios, plus Miley Cyrus and other nonsense. If someone can make a buck, they'll put out something.

The actual lines are escaping me right now but The Simpsons mocked that a little, I believe it was the "I didn't do it" episode and Lisa was thumbing through Bart's biography and it was full of blank pages and someone else's bio. Same deal applies here.

Barton Fink said...

An article about Gaga would probably plumb the depths sufficiently. I hate long drawn-out celeb bios in which an author tries to manufacture complexity in a subject that has none. Have you ever read a book about Madonna? She was a bad dancer who got a record contract and she struck it big. There are no details worth knowing about that. She had sex, she may have had abortions and done drugs with record execs, and so on and so forth -- but none of it really matters. The problem with music celeb biographies is that the biographers don't really have any unique appreciation for their artistic value. It would be better to read a book about Gaga's music written by a music critic and utilizing interviews with her about her work. Reading about her ketamine abuse or bisexuality would be the most boring thing in teh world. Hearing how she came up with "disco stick" would actually be interesting.

To summarize, you couldn't pay me to read Halperin's Gaga book.

Katja said...

@Pookie- her boyfriend is her poison. I understand she got him a record deal. Deal, dealer .. I can't remember.

Henriette said...

Lady GooGoo is boring. That's why she does all this stuff for attention, because on her own she would put you to sleep.

Maja. With a J. said...

That's what I used to think about her, Henriette, but I have realized that she is a great singer and a great musician and songwriter, and she has worked hard to get to where she is. Of course, those three things are not enough to be successful these days...enter the fashion and outrageous comments.

But yeah, I do think that she started out wanting fame, and I do agree with what Pookie said - Lady Gaga is a puppet. I think we might see and hear about her going a little extra nuts soon...it will just be more subtle in her case because she is kinda nuts already...*L*