Look, if you have spent the past several years in prison, have never seen a television or read a tabloid or if you are suffering from some type of disease which causes you to find women with very large hands attractive, then I would understand if you went out with Paris Hilton once. Once. Oh, and you would probably leave early and bathe in hand sanitizer after and that is just from an air kiss and being at the same table. I cannot begin to imagine the amount of toxic cleanup that would be required if you shared anything more intimate. So, explain to me how Paris Hilton keeps getting dates. The latest victim is Todd Phillips. Yes, the guy who directed the Hangover movies. He obviously has no shame because he was spotted actually swapping spit making out with Paris in public. As in front of people. They then spent the night together. I swear they have not invented a bio-hazard suit strong enough for me to ever contemplate that. If the two of us were the last people on earth, the world would die out. Just sayin'.