Friday, July 15, 2011

Ted C Blind Item

Paulie Pecker certainly doesn't get as much attention as the other folks on his funny boob-tube series. Which is a skanky shame, ‘cause while they all land the big-time tabloid covers for their incredibly Vice-lite behavior, Paulie's out there committing some hilariously horny crap.

Take, for instance, P.P.'s latest escapade at a swanky Hollywood hotel, where he had taken a broad he was hoping to bed. Paulie wasn't just DTF tho, he was also...

Hammered drunk.

Which isn't too shocking, actually—we know Paulie and his pals can booze with the best of ‘em—but P2 seemed to be sporting extra-thick beer goggles on this par-tick night.

An onlooker described Pecker's cougarific "date" as mucho older and just as plastered as Paulie, with what little clothes she was wearing already coming off when the twosome popped into the lobby.

Unfortch, the hotel was all booked up. Paulie pulled the usual "do you know who I am?" B.S. and then tried slipping some cash to the staff, but he and his lady friend were still denied a room. The drunk duo finally gave up, but while they waited for a cab to come collect them, decided they just couldn't control themselves any longer.

Yep, they started going at it right there in the lobby.

The hotel workers and a few other guests checking in were not so pleasantly surprised to see Paulie's gal straddle him as the two started making out and pulling each other's clothes off. Body parts, lots of ‘em, were exposed.

He shoved his face in her boobs for some motorboat action and she shoved her hand down his pants and things were really heating up as the clothes came off. Which is when Paulie's hump buddy decided that they should slip away to the bathroom to finish the deed.

Cue the hotel staff, who kindly told Paulie and his pal they needed to hit the road. Which they did.

And It Ain't: John Krasinski, Ty Burrell, Rob Lowe

20 comments:

RocketQueen said...

I say either someone from Entourage or, more likely, someone from Cougartown ("cougarific").

Jessi said...

For some reason I get a Judas Friedlander (30 Rock) vibe...

AngusParvo said...

Thanks for that image, Jessi. Grossbuckets!

Fawn Neun said...

Rob Lowe cannot, technically, make out with a cougar.

mngddess said...

Oh LORD, Jessi! YUCK.

Maja. With a J. said...

Jessi, that wss the first name that popped into my head too! *L*

Angela said...

Nobody from 30 Rock (except maybe Alec) gets tabloid covers for behavior.

Glee, on the other hand...

So, Cory Monteith? Kevin McHale (Artie) ?

SkittleKitty said...

Angela, you're forgetting Tracy Morgan.

SkittleKitty said...

What about a cable comedy?

JasonBlueEyes said...

Angus T. Jones?

Lori said...

Dan Byrd or Ian Gomez from Couger Town? The other guys have been in the tabloids for dating Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston. If "cougariffc" is a clue.

Angela said...

"the other folks" "all land the big-time tabloid covers" for "30 Rock" or a cable comedy???? Seriously?

Besides, 30 Rock is produced in New York. Ted C is all about L.A.

Tabloid attention implies troubled production but also big ratings. The contenders for big ratings would be Glee, Modern Family, The Office, The Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Man, How I Met Your Mother.
I guess that MF, The Office and Parks and Recreation were dismissed due to the ain'ts.
Two... and How... have (or had) one big star while everything else is comparatively quiet (or not legal). When was the last time you heard some good gossip about Alyson Hannigan?

And now, when was the last time you heard "vice-lite" gossip about Lea Michelle being a diva in front of the fans, Naya Rivera and Mark Salling breaking up with her scratching the doors of his car, Dianna Agron breaking up with Alex Pettyfer because he found out she was pregnant or Matthew Morrison being both gay and having an affair with Gwyneth Paltrow (which is not as contradictory as it sounds)?

michael said...

HOW IS THIS NOT DJ PAULIE D FROM JERSEY SHORE?

Jessi said...

Yes I was totally joking. Ted C pretty much only includes "beautiful" people in his blinds. But I still think tabloids would include 30 Rock. Um wasn't there just a big to do with Tracy Morgan! But I appreciate the grossed out comments. Made me laugh.

Maja. With a J. said...

I didn't say Friedlander was my guess, it was just the first name that popped into my head after reading the first couple of sentences. Don't get yer britches in a bunch now you hear?

Caprica said...

For some reason I thought of Matthew Perry. But only Courtney and Jennifer really get tabloid attention...plus at his age 'cougar' would be in her 60s...like Angelyne...so I have a disturbing visual that I felt the need to burden others with.

Angela said...

Friedlander's character actually had an affair with his school teacher (played by Susan Sarandon) when he was an 8th grader. Both rekindle the romance when she's released from jail.

farmgirl said...

I like the Angus guess - I'm with Jason

Jen said...

Totally Paulie D could it be more obvious?

Anonymous said...

John Hamm. "Hammered". Plays "Don Draper", a double letter name. His costars are often in the tabloids, especially that blond chippy that plays his ex-wife on the show. "Boozing with the best of them" could refer to the constant drinking his character does on the show.

Only thing that doesn't match is that Mad Men really can't be called "funny".