Thursday, August 04, 2011

Jennifer Lopez Wants To Teach Everyday People About Fashion


I did not think it was possible for Jennifer Lopez to be a bigger diva or more out of touch with the real world but she has found a way. I am speechless. With a little help from Kneepads and O Magazine which has taken ass kissing to a whole new level, I want you to know that we, as human beings, are lucky to have Jennifer Lopez in our life. The fact that she has stepped down to our level to help us be more like her is a gift and we should count our blessings. Seriously. Well, at least according to Kneepads and O which I guess is short for open up wide.

“O is often the go-to magazine for lines that want to do an exclusive first look,” Glassman tells PEOPLE. “It’s so great to have her teach women how to get a kind of everyday glamour like hers.”

Yes, I know all of us have wanted to learn how to do the eye squint. I cannot tell you how many hours I have stood in front of a mirror trying to perfect that look. Of course, now with Jennifer and her personal instruction, you too can look like you smoke 8 joints before you hit the red carpet. Want that lip pursed look? No fears. Jennifer will show you how she drinks a glass of lemon juice right before she hits the red carpet and keeps a vial in her purse for those random shots.

I feel so lucky that she is sharing with us. Oh thank you Jennifer.

33 comments:

Patty said...

You forgot to mention the third step...hire a good stylist.

Ida Blankenship said...

That bitch's "style" mostly consists of animal carcasses and tacky showgirl outfits that don't fit worth a shit.

No thanks.

parissucksliterally said...

I fucking hate her. Like she owns anything "everyday women" buy.

Voice O' Reason said...

Wow doesn't she have enough on her plate at the moment without trying to muscle in on the Goopsters schtick of showing us little people how much we do not know about the finer things in life LOL?

Cathy said...

While she is a total diva, I think this is another case of Enty blaming someone for something that isn't their fault. That snotty quote came from someone named Glassman (no mention of who they are), not Jennifer, so it's kind of ridiculous to imply that she said it.

SusanB said...

Did you read MichaelK's comments on Goopy today? I almost wet my pants.

RocketQueen said...

You beat me to it, Ida. She and that former animal carelessly flung over her shoulder can fuck right off when it comes to "fashion".

JoElla said...

Okay don't kick me out of the kool kids club but.............

I saw some photo shots on ET the other day and was shocked by how mellow the clothes were.

They were actually nice and something I wouldn't mind picking up a few things from.

These were not JLO type of clothing but things women would want to wear.

*hangs head in shame*

Oh well.. I could always just cut the tag out and nobody would know they are hers LOL!

Texshan said...

Gah, I loathe JHo, and she's got some nerve thinking I would ever, ever want to dress or look like her. She wears ridiculous clothes and dead animals and head scarves. No thanks. Also, she always makes that weird face that I assume she thinks looks sexy but in fact makes her look sleepy and constipated. Double no thanks.
In my opinion, the only celebrity that should be handing out style advice is Dita Von Teese. She always looks fabulous and put-together and unique. And even though she's a freakin' burlesque performer, you NEVER see her making sexyface.

MISCH said...

Dear Jenny From The Bronx,

STUFF IT

Sincerely,

Misch

Christine said...

What I'd like to see is a show with Goop and JLo giving advice to all of us. I wonder if they would find each other as insufferable as we find them.

MISCH said...

If Goopie can stand Jessica seinfeld she can stand Jlo

flwrgurl said...

jajaja loves it enty! " you too can look like you smoke 8 joints before you hit the red carpet. "

Feisty said...

I don't understand why GOOP and JLo think I need help spending my money.

It's not like the general public is unaware of $1200 shoes and would wear them if only they knew how awesome they were. I know how awesome $1200 shoes are, but I also like paying my mortgage and stuffing my savings account.

I would take advice on hair products from famous people, and maybe makeup. Anything beyond that is ridiculous.

nataliesinger said...

If those are indeed real furs she's wearing I agree with the "fuck offs" sentiment.

crila16 said...

I cant' stand J-Lo. She makes me sick to my stomach with all the murdering of helpless animals for fur for her clothing line. She also is very well aware of what they do at the farm that supplies her fur. They had a video up and you can watch from start to finish how they torture these poor creatures and leave them to die after skinning them. It's shocking, sickening and devastating. J-Lo couldn't care less, as long as she makes money and her ego is fed by the public.

weezy said...

This sounds like Benny Medina's idea. (her manager.) He's got to drum up some movie deals for her (the AI gig was a lucky break when she was down on her luck, but she's got to get back in the game.) She's 40 and the clock is ticking.

Phillip said...

I'm stunned she's on the cover of O. Only Ellen and Michelle Obama have ever been on the cover other than Oprah herself.

I must live in a vacuum. I don't know anyone who likes her or those ridiculous Kardashians. Who keeps them relevant?

shiny_special_one said...

Good gawd, I don't know who's worse, JLo or Gwyneth.

B626 said...

BARF!
But I do like her original perfume.

timebob said...

Jennifer will always be the chubby dancer from In Living Color to me.

Lissette said...

what happened with JLo and clothes? I'm confused. Sorry!

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

I'd probably take hair, make-up and skin tips from this one, but that's about it.

anita_mark said...

I guess I'm the only one that likes her. I would watch American Idol if she would be a total crazy diva who couldn't relate to anyone. That would be awesome. I think she's stunning and would do anything for her footwear. Yes, she's had work done but she's had good work done.

weezy said...

I remember her on "Living Color." Her eyebrows were too thick, Rosie Perez kept her in the back row in the dark, yet she kept trying to push her way to the front during the closing.

Me said...

YAY! i hope she includes that fabulous outfit from idol wher she was shaking her ass next to her fugly exhusband. the classy thong w/ the foot long fringe that hung down over her ass like hair. remember that bit of glam?

ClaireFrasier said...

Texshan, I totally love Dita Von Teese! I love her retro style, and the confidence she has to carry it.

Henriette said...

JBlow had to have all this planned, because she is on the cover of Vanity Fair next month, and that is fast turn around for her recent divorce announcement. I thought her clothing line "Pretty Face" or something went belly up? I think that will be the same for this one too. Is she actually on the cover with the Big O?

I definitely would not take fashion advice from her. Does anyone remember those horrid body suits she was wearing? She looked like an encased sausage.

surfer said...

@Henriette - I used to work for a (monthly) magazine, and they have something called a lead time - which means articles are written and photographed months before they are actually published. Call this unbelievable timing. Anyway, according to reports, she was planning to leave the marriage for quite a while, so maybe she timed her separation (to all these magazine covers). Honestly, who cares?

biggirl1988 said...

i want to see her and Paltrow in an interview together. I still can't decide which one bugs me the most.

Gin Royal said...

Can someone please make J Lo go away forever?

Lelaina Pierce said...

This reminded me of GOOP, too. If J-Lo were to have her own GOOP, what would it be called?

Henriette said...

Just got my September O Magazine and JBlow is not really featured. The article is dated, because Skeletor is mentioned in the article and he talks about how they are a "normal" couple. They even have this staged intimate shot. In light of their divorce announcement and the better Vogue spread, the Big O's mag looks dumb.

The worse part was JBlow talking about her love of jumpers! Who the hell told her she looks good in sausage casings?