Thursday, August 25, 2011

A Rihanna Sex Tape Sounds Kind Of Boring


Hustler says they have a sex tape of Rihanna and I am kind of blah about it. She basically has sex in some of her music videos and performances on stage and everyone has already seen her naked, so what is left to see. Hustler does not even know what to do with it, but I presume that answer is easy. Just because I am blah about it does not mean the rest of the world is not and they will probably release it. The tape apparently is of Rihanna and J. Cole who have a mutual admiration society. What would be interesting is the timing of the whole tape. Was Rihanna with Matt Kemp at the time and hey, wait a second. I think I had a blind item about this didn't I? This sounds really familiar. To me the whole cheating or not cheating is way more interesting than watching Rihanna looking at herself in a mirror while having sex. Yes, just like Paris.

22 comments:

bluebonnetmom said...

I love her music, but this girl puts the freaky in freak. Wow.

parissucksliterally said...

I hate her music now. Her old stuff is good, but the "The Only Girl In the World" makes me want to stick pencils in my ears, as does any music she makes now.

She is also dumb as a box of rocks, which makes me believe there is a sex tape. She is stupid enough to let someone tape her.

Beth said...

I don't understand her continued success as a singer. Her voice isn't just bad; it's grating and monotonous.

I imagine her sex tape would just be like her videos and stage show but with penetration.

parissucksliterally said...

Beth, her voice is so nasal! I agree with you.

Susan said...

It's like nails on a fucking chalkboard.

I'm so over this trick.

And seriously, can anyone in this generation have a bit of class? Enough with the sex tapes.

RocketQueen said...

Lol! I totally remember that blind! No one guessed J. Cole, though.
I guess I'm the only fan of Rihanna. I really love almost every one of her songs.

Katie said...

But the blind was about the whole world being upset with who she cheated with, aka Chris brown. Who cares about j Cole?

Ida Blankenship said...

What Katie said. We'd CARE (i.e., many of us would be disappointed/upset) if she had been hooking up with Chris Brown again, which is EXACTLY what that blind insinuated. *Tsk, tsk*, Enty.

The combo of Rihanna and J.J. Cool (whatever) doesn't excite me at all. Rihanna and Colin Farrell? SURE. YES, PLEASE.

Pookie said...

the hyper-sexualization of rihanna is by design, as is everything in the music industry. idk what the ultimate goal is...she's so young. i hope it's worth it.

bluebonnetmom said...

I love her music too Rocket Queen. Her personal life is one hot mess though.

Beth said...

Pookie, of course, it's by design. That's probably why people still care about her.

Face it, anyone could "sing" her songs.

RocketQueen said...

Yay bluebonnet :)
I totally disagree anyone could sing her songs. Girl's got PIPES and a distinctive Caribbean inflection to her songs.

Lelaina Pierce said...

I like some (not all) of her songs. I think she is absolutely beautiful but definitely doesn't strike me as the smartest girl.

Should I know who J. Cole is?

PammieC said...

Who is J Cole and why would I be shocked she was with him? I am behind the times on this one I guess.

Layna Day said...

I haven't always been a fan, but I've enjoyed most of Rihanna's newer music. She seems to going toward her Caribbean roots, using patois and her natural accent more. It's made her songs interesting to me. But I agree on her being vapid, though. She seems just silly enough to get caught on tape.

Maja. With a J. said...

The only way this tape would be interesting is if it managed to be even more boring than Kim Kardashians sex tape. THAT would be quite a feat!

Snakeoiler said...

You know, mirrors can come in handy during sex. I remember my wife holding a hand mirror to watch the action and commenting that it was just like watching a dirty movie. In the 1980's, that wasn't as easy as it is now (you had to go down to Wall-to-Wall Sound to rent a video).

Not that it would have been exciting to anyone other than us at that particular time, but, still....

cincinnatikate said...

you tube Mandy Moore covering Rhianna's Umbrella.... sings circles around Rhianna... and Mandy does it acappella.

Bubbles said...

Okay, I've worked in Hollywood in the industry in television, film, as a publicist, writer, etc. and don't know who the hell JJ Cole or whatever his name is. Am I 90 and don't know it.

And sorry, but anyone saying Rihanna has pipes must be referring to crack pipes and as far as an Carribean inflection, really? She's an Island girl, I'll give her that, but any inflection that mirrors that coincidence is just that; a fluke.

Mango said...

I love most of her stuff. But a sex tape? Pass. Never wanted to see Paris' nor Kim K's, either.

Ida Blankenship said...

"anyone saying Rihanna has pipes must be referring to crack pipes"

This made me giggle, though I *do* like Rihanna's music and root for her as a person. But yeah, the bleating goat thing worked better for Stevie Nicks. Let's face it.

Whatever. It's not Opera. We all know it. It's not as if music students three-hundred years from now (if our race even lasts that long) will learning how to play "Rude Boy" and "Disturbia." She's a an amazingly beautiful girl who creates distinct pop music, and she appears to have a great time doing it.

At least Rihanna doesn't have some Kanyesque need for us to Let Her Be Great. She's not going to put out a Tom Waits cover album anytime soon. She is what she is, and she doesn't try to be anything else. I kind of respect her for that.

Ida Blankenship said...

Sorry for the typos. It's early. Coffee hasn't kicked in, but I'm not going to do that thing where I point out where the typos are, because most of you are intelligent enough to understand where I made mistakes.

Coffee. Coffeeeeeee....